The Great and Powerful Mooch

by a guy with many hats

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Romance
Length: 3074

After getting booted from town to town every few months, Trixie finally manages to find someone who'll let her park her caravan on their land. Unfortunately she proves to be a rather large pain in the ass for the land lord.

After getting booted from town to town every few months, Trixie finally manages to find someone who'll let her park her caravan on their land. Unfortunately she proves to be a rather large pain in the ass for the land lord.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-10 08:54:36 UTC

Jar

"God damn it, Trixie! Again!?" I slammed my fridge shut up stormed through my kitchen. I flung the nearest door open and ran over to my front lawn, Trixie's caravan had claimed a large chunk of it. "Trixie, get the hell out here!" I stomped over the horribly damp grass, "Trixie!?" I hurried on, reaching her caravan and pounding on the door, "Open this, right now damn it!"

A loud clatter came from inside, "No...you want to yell at Trixie!"

I hit her door and turned away, "Did you steal my damn peanut butter again!?" I was greeted with pure silence, damning her actions, "See!"

The locks on her caravan slowly snapped open. Little by little each of the five deadbolts came undone and the door popped open. Trixie stood there, a jar of peanut butter levitating by her head, "Trixie was hungry. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be Trixie while hungry?"

I glared at her, snatching the jar from her magical grip, "Yeah, I have to imagine it takes a lot of energy to talk in the third person all the time." I popped the jar open, finding it scraped clean, "God damn it Trixie! Really!?"

Trixie walked out of her cart and over to me, "Yes. Trixie ate your food, yes Trixie parks on your lawn, yes Trixie is amazing. And Trixie is doing you a service, her presence should be payment enough."

I spotted a tiny bit of peanut butter left in the jar. I scooped it up with my finger and smeared it down her neck, "The only reason I let you stay is because you'd be a bum otherwise!" I wiped my hands off on her coat and rubbed my head, "I mean...this was like...four bits."

Trixie nodded, drawing a kerchief from her hat and wiping off her neck, "And it was worth every pent. As where the bananas."

I just glared at her, "...So...you basically just stole my breakfast."

Trixie shook her head, "No, you graciously sacrificed it for Trixie's well being. And that, your constant begging and pleading for my attention, is why I stay." she smiled deviously, "Speaking of which...Trixie has a gift for you."

I cocked an eyebrow as she walked back into her cart, "Is it a new jar?"

"No! Trixie has...a token...of her- ah, acknowledgment." she popped back out of the caravan with a black collar, "Trixie knows you will--"

"A collar? Look...I really don't have the time to deal with your crap today. I can live without my damn breakfast, but you got the coffee still?"

Trixie froze, the collar levitating before her slowly retreating. She just stared ahead, sweating slightly as I ducked down to meet her eye to eye, "Trixie...you have the coffee...right?"

I could see her swallow a lump, "Trixie...will...return." she slowly sidestepped away, "Black, right?"

I covered my face with my palm, rubbing hard and looking to the dull December sky, "Trixie...you have thirty minutes. If I don't have my coffee in thirty minutes, I am going to lose my shit."

Trixie looked genuinely nervous, "Trixie will hurry then!" she turned to the road into town and bolted. I just stood in my lawn, watching the mare run like mad. I was definitely not a morning person, my lazy demeanor turning into something spiteful and vengeful before eight.

I turned to her caravan, "Trixie...you gotta--" I checked under the caravan, "Or the- ...the grass dies." I stared at the browning square under her mobile home, "God. Damn. It." I moved to the steps of her caravan and sat down, a loud rattling catching my attention. I popped her door open, finding my bag of coffee beans upside down and spilled over the floor. "...God. Damn. You, Trixie." I growled, closing her door and standing up.

I was amazingly angry. My usual extremely laid back and chill style utterly obliterated by my ruined morning. My bananas pilfered, my peanut butter gone, my shower cold, my coffee dead, and my phone out after a timber wolf dug up the line. Fate was truly conspiring against me today.

I sat alone on Trixie's caravan. My temper starting to boil over as clouds started to form overhead, pegasai working like mad to get ready for the first snow of the season. If Trixie didn't hurry, this might be it, she might be out on her ass once again.

I spotted her running like mad, racing towards me with a crazed look. "Trixie has returned with the coffee!" she bolted over, skidding to a stop and levitating a covered cup to me. "No sugar, no cream."

I took the cup and sniffed it, "...Alright seems--" I was cut off by a loud slurp. I lowered my cup and looked over at Trixie who was enjoying her own little drink. "...Really?"

Trixie popped an eye open and stopped, "Trixie--"

I grabbed her coffee and threw it to the floor, "Ha...nope."

Trixie was shocked, unable to articulate herself as she stared at her downed coffee. "Why!?"

I sipped my coffee. My energy deprived rage slowly subsiding, "That...was for...my breakfast." I mumbled, feeling the cool calm overtake me as the coffee burned away my haze filled mind. "Oh god...that's so much better." I let out a pleased coo and stood from Trixie's steps, "Man...not exactly great, but what I needed."

Trixie just glared at me, "Trixie does not--"

I just laughed, "Alright then...I was gonna start a fire but--"

"Trixie accepts your pitiful offering of warmth!" she stomped her hoof, "She will grace you with her amazing presence and- hey!"

I had started walking to my front door, the snow slowly fluttering down. "Sure...you have your usual spot waiting...just hurry up." I held the door to my small home open, "You coming?"

Trixie lowered her head and slowly walked over, "Trixie does not take orders...but she shall go this way of her own accord." She wandered up and into my house, "Trixie deserves warmth, more than some simple laborer like you!" She traced her tail along my waist as she turned towards my den.

"Sure...so what's the plan today?" I asked, turning inside and hurrying over after her. She had already laid her entire body across my couch and turned belly up. "Trixie...off."

Trixie stretched her legs even further, "You wouldn't dare da-faahaaaha ahaha--" I pressed my fingertips into her belly, rubbing her stomach and causing her to giggle like mad. "Knaaahaave!"

"Sure...." I finished up and picked her up, spinning around, sitting, and letting Trixie lay across my lap, "So...sup?"

Trixie puffed her cheeks out, "Trixie does not appreciate you--"

"Trixie...November sixth...ten pm...."

She grew beet red, the tips of her ears glowing like Christmas lights, "Trixie never--"

"It was fun...you know it...." I played with her back hoof, drawing a simple pattern on her underhoof, "Now...you want me to pretend you're not embarrassed...or you want me to start a fire?"

Trixie's ear twitched, leg kicked, body refusing to settle down as I teased and prodded her. "Trixie deserves better than your--"

"Would it make you feel better if I wore the damn collar?" I moved my hand from her hoof down her leg, rubbing her soft coat as I moved towards her groin, "But...that means I get to have a little fun too."

Trixie pouted, covering her mouth with her forelegs, "Trixie...will allow her, pet, some fun...should you--" her voice caught in her throat as I moved my hand dangerously low, "Adam!"

I backed off, lingering my hand around her lower stomach, "What...?"

She glared at me, "You don't act without Trixie's permission...peasant...."

I laughed loftily, "I love when you talk medieval to me." I patted her stomach, making her flinch, "I'm gonna go play pyro." I lifted her off of me and went to start the fire. Well dried logs from the summer, kindling from the fall, fresh sage from the spring, and it was ready.

I lit a match and tossed it in. The kindling went up in seconds, the logs catching as the sage released a pleasant smell. "There...nice...warm," I looked up to the window, "Fire...how I love you." I returned to the couch, sitting on the far end and letting Trixie's hooves rest on my lap. I played with her hooves, gently massaging her back legs.

Things were nice, calm, simple. A girl across my couch, a stomach full of coffee, and a warm fire biting back the coming cold. "See...this is why I let you stay here."

Trixie just scoffed, "As if you could live without the Amazing Trixie! Your sick...obsession with hooves would drive you to madness! But, I, the Great and Generous Trixie, allows your offerings of hoof rubs and peanut butter!"

I took a deep breath and set her hooves down, "Are you ever gonna start talking in the first person?"

"Will you ever submit to my commands!?" She snapped, sitting upright and propping herself up on her hooves.

I shrugged, digging into my pocket and finding the collar, "Are you offering to play mistress Trixie?" I fumbled with the collar putting it on loosely. "I...would love...mistress Trixie."

She started growing red once again as I picked up her hoof. "You.... Trixie has a thrall once aga--ahh." she locked up as I wiped off her underhoof and gave it a quick kiss, "P-pervert!"

I started chuckling, my body growing extremely lazy, "I know...." I set her hooves down, trying to take off the collar, "Um...Trixie...why isn't this coming off?"

She just started laughing, "Did you think I would let such a needy servant go so easily?!" she sat upright, smiling wide, "No...you are Trixie's."

I flattened out my gaze, "So...this isn't coming off?"

She laid back down and started snickering, "Only when Trixie says it come of--faa!"

I pulled her across my lap, jabbing my fingers into her mouth, "Uh huh...well...you sure seem rather talkative."

She tired to close her mouth, her tongue wiggling between my index finger and thumb. I pulled my thumb out, pressing my index and middle finger against the flat of her tongue. "Tastes good I guess...." I laughed, enjoying the wet warmth as her tongue tried to pull away.

Trixie narrowed her eyes, a magical string appearing to my right and quickly looping around the ring on the collar, "Wait..wah-- augh!" I was yanked sideways, the collar digging against my neck.

Trixie pushed free and smiled at me, "Trixie will have to teach her new pet."

I rubbed my neck as she let up, "Are you kidding me!? It was a joke...I--"

"Trixie will tell the jokes now!' She rolled onto her stomach and laid across the couch, her face against my lap, "And...Trixie believes in positive reinforcement." She pressed her hoof against my groin, "Trixie has no use for a pent up slave...."

I took a deep breath as she rubbed my groin, "Huh...I'm oddly- oookay, with this." I laughed weakly as I caressed her mane, "Magic? Well...you're the best magician I've met...."

Trixie smiled wide, "Trixie simply is the best. Now...please, exalt her virtues...it pleases Trixie."

I took a deep breath as I felt something soft and artificially wet take hold of me, "What's left to exalt? You already know you're the prettiest mare I know-" a surge of pleasure tickled my tip, "Haahaa...aaah, she knows how to please a stallion," another warm sloppy feeling invaded my lower body, Trixie's heated smile growing red and demeaning, "Her smile...her grace, charm...unmatch--"

Trixie took a deep breath and pressed her nose against my cock, my jeans standing strait up as she her horn glimmered, "Trixie is pleased by your groveling...and your scent...now...will little slave cum for the Great Trixie?"

I felt a warm sensation grip me by the stem, my hand pressing hard against the back of her neck as a soft and tender pleasure enveloped my lower being. I let out a long drawn out coo as I splattered my boxers, the sticky mess slowly seeping out of my jeans. "Fuh-, shit...." I laughed slightly, "How long have you been able to--"

I felt my collar jerk as Trixie stuck her tongue out, "There is much that you don't know about the Mysterious Trixie." her wide smug smile returning, "Now, we demand your touch! Your mistress is cold...and requires cuddling."

I let out a pent up breath and laid back, "I...am really...really, alright with this...." I ran my hands along the top of her head, tweaking her ears and running my craned hand around her cheek, "Great and generous indeed."

Date

I walked around my house, the collar around my neck starting to itch. "Trixie...I need this thing off now." I felt cold, my bare feet half frozen to the wood floor. "Trixie come on, I--"

Trixie's tail peeked in from the den. "Trixie is waiting, pet."

I shook my head, walking over and peeking into the room. "Trixie- whoa, what the hell?" I asked honestly, spotting Trixie in black latex. "Uh...Trixie, need to talk."

Trixie watched me from the couch, her prone body bright against the cream couch. "Trixie is in need of comfort, a seat, and your face would--"

I coughed softly, "About that, I really need this thing off." I tugged at the collar. "I've got a date in like, three hours and--"

Trixie shot upright. "Date!? Trixie- I- what!?"

I rubbed my chest. "Yeah, some mare named Colgate, second human she's dating so I feel like I have to put on a good front." I stretched out. "Not that I'm a bad guy, just...she's coming back, can't be the one to drive her away from humans."

Trixie stared at me, wide eye'd and rigid. "Trixie was- you're not...." She settled down on the couch. "I was under the assumption you were with Trixie."

"What?" I yelped, "Uh, we're not, dating. I thought you were like my fuck buddy." I looked out to the caravan sitting outside. "Oh...you thought I- moving in?"

Trixie grew bright red, "Trixie seems to have been mistaken." She snapped her head away. "Trixie is fine-" she pulled my collar off, "-there."

I rubbed my neck as the leather collar floated away. "Um, you want to talk?"

"What is to talk about!?" She shot back, "You're not attracted in Trixie, why would we speak of it."

"Oh god damn it." I hissed to myself. "Trixie it's not like that! I didn't know you--"

"Trixie wishes to be alone!" She tossed a cape at me, hitting me in the face with the flowing fabric. "She needs to--"

"Trixie...I didn't know." I pulled the cape off and walked into the room fully. "I just thought you were crashing here. You moved a little quick and I just assumed it was going to be physical--"

"Are you calling Trixie loose!?" She yelled, leaning off the couch. "What are you--"

"Trixie, I don't know enough about you to say one way or the other! Just...you got involved really quick--"

"Perhaps that's because Trixie thought she could trust you!" She hopped off the couch, "Perhaps Trixie enjoyed staying on your property!" Her voice started to waver as she approached. "Perhaps Trixie thought when we laid by the fire was special!"

I looked off to the side, trying to deflect. "Shouldn't it be, when she--"

"Trixie doesn't care!" She shouted, standing on my toes. "Trixie thought you cared! I can see now she- I- rah!" She turned away, her legs a bit wobbly. "Trixie needs to--"

"So where you want to go?" I asked, following her to the couch. "Dinner, theatre, I could get tickets to the Wonder Bolts Quebec."

Trixie ignored me, walking over to the couch and hopping back up. "Trixie doesn't need your pity!"

"But does Trixie want a date? That's my question." I stated, leaning against the arm of the couch. "This thing with the mare, hasn't even started. And really, if you were clearer I'd have kept it that way- uh...I wouldn't have asked her out I mean."

Trixie refused to look at me. "Go! Trixie doesn't--"

"Magic lessons in Canterlot?" I asked, knowing her real weakness. "Go shopping in Baltimare? Go camping in the woods?"

Trixie puffed her cheeks out. "...Trixie is extremely angry right now. She requires all three...."

I smiled at her. "Sure, but uh...no sex." I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "If we're gonna actually do this, we're gonna do it right. Slow boil--"

"Trixie declines." She turned her head. "If you dare place stipulations after your mistake, then Trixie doesn't need to hear them."

I felt my gut sink. "...Ow, I mean like, ow."

Trixie turned her nose up at me. "You want Trixie now? You'll beg for Trixie," she lifted her hoof, "You will love Trixie, and you will start a fire, Trixie's ears are cold."

I felt my groin tighten up. "... God damn, this domination crap just ruins me." I rubbed my mouth. "Uh... let me go cancel this thing with Colgate--"

"Fire for your mistress!" She shouted, stomping her hoof. "And collar yourself."

I felt my chest burn. "Jesus...every time." I walked past her, quickly tossing a few logs into the fireplace. Newspaper and tinder went up like a snatch, flooding the room with heat and the warm smell of hickory. I turned to Trixie, finding her dragging a blanket onto the floor of the den. She was wearing latex stockings, open at the bottom to expose her hooves, what looked like a corset with a garter belt attached to her back stockings. "Man...this is gonna be awkward talking to Colgate."

"Why!? Because you realize how idiotic you were to m- Trixie!?" Trixie screamed, a hair in her mane popping out. "Well!?"

I shook my head. "No...because I've got a hard-on. I don't know what it is about girls in latex or leather, just...boom, damn thing moves on its own." I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "That and the serious guilt you've been shoving on me feels like dom talk. All around, you're good at pushing my buttons."

Trixie turned her head away. "Trixie has no interest in your buttons."

"And that makes it all the better, but seriously, I'll be back. Probably like in an hour." I turned to the door of my small den, fire's warmth to my back. "Gotta take care of this thing before I go...." I tired to adjust, my package painfully tight. "Damn you brain, and damn you boner."