Ponitics

Ponitics
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fan Fiction by MidouSan
Case 1: Chapter 2 Ministry of Friendship: Continued Breaking

<Chapter 1

Twilight’s ears flicked as she stared at everypony gathered around Rainbow Dash, listening to their attempts at cheering her friend up. Rainbow’s face was no longer buried in Spitfire’s mane. Instead, she was slumped in her carved mahogany chair, her eyes still misty. Twilight bit her lip, too aggravated to speak due to her inability to comfort her friend, and, due to general shock from Blueblood’s threats.

“Pardon my unladylike wording, but I believe the pompous ass isn’t worth one twist of your snout. I turned down his awful and un-gentlecoltlike courtship. Now, sadly, years later, he’s attacked you, one of my closest friends... It shows further what a disgust he still is!” Rarity said, putting a reassuring hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “My dear, it’s not your fault, it’s all Blueblood’s doing. None of us really care that you are a Filly Fooler. I honestly can’t even fathom why you didn’t tell us sooner. I don’t see why anypony would dislike you. Since Filly Foolers are famed for their exquisite allure,” she concluded, a bluish glow from her horn cueing her glass of pinot noir to magically levitate to her lips for a regal sip.

Spitfire stared incredulously at Rarity. “Miss Rarity, you DO realize that doesn’t really he-” she attempted to speak before being shoved aside by a pink blur that had begun to sing boisterously.

“Ohhh you’re a big old Filly Fooler, Dash,
why be so silly,
like some oblivious little filly?
Don’t you realize being a Filly Fooler is a bash!?” Pinkie Pie leaned away and took a deep breath, flashing a big smile.

“Ahem.” Applejack cleared her throat as she stared at Pinkie. “Ah’m pretty sure Ah heard Apple Bloom speaking of both Filly Foolers and colt cuddlers organizing at her campus. She didn’t seem too think much of it. Said ta me that ’s just their way of life that they’re born with. If a young mare like Apple Bloom can be accepting of Filly Foolers, Ah say you don’t worry about hoity toity aristowhatevers with their outdated attitudes like Prince Blueblood.”

“Well, umm, Rainbow. You know, some of the animals I take care of get involved in same-gender--umm--stuff, and the other animals don’t care. Nor do I for that matter. It’s just how they are,” Fluttershy said, causing everypony in the booth to stop and make everything quiet so they could listen to the soft spoken pony.

Rainbow nodded at Fluttershy, giving a weak smile while wiping her face with a hoof. “I guess you girls are right. I just can’t stand the thought of the Wonderbolts being broken up simply because I came out of the stable,” she sniffled. “It’s bad enough that it’s in the press that two teammates are dating, but to be Filly Foolers as well...”

“How many times will we have to say it’s not your fault, honey,” Spitfire said, softly pulling Rainbow in for a tender hug.

All the mares around the table echoed a chorus of agreement, except Twilight. She shook her head and stood up, “I’m sorry girls, I’m not feeling well at the moment, I’m going to take a leave of absence. Farewell for now,” she said, giving Rainbow Dash a quick hug as she departed.

~~~

Twilight’s coat bristled as she cantered off from the bar, the cool night air nipping at her.

“Umm, Twilight?” Fluttershy floated alongside having caught up to her friend, her wings casting flickering shadows over Twilight as they blocked light from the bar’s neon sign.

“Fluttershy, why did you follow me?” Twilight cocked her head towards the pegasus in curiosity, “I’m not feeling well. You don’t want to catch what I have, do you?”

“Because well, I couldn’t help but feel worried that something was troubling you,” Fluttershy said, as she landed gracefully before trotting closely beside Twilight.

“Fiiine,” Twilight let out a sigh. “You’re right, Fluttershy, as always. Why are you so good with emotions!? I’m angry and frustrated! I want to have Blueblood kicked off every academic, artistic, and aristocratic society he’s a part of. I have contacts in those circles, especially the academicians. I’d love to see him ashamed and disgraced like some common pauper from public outcry. It’s only fitting for what his done to Dash.”

“Oh...my,” Fluttershy gasped.

“Not like I really would go that far, mind you!” Twilight tried weakly to smile.

“I think I understand... Twilight. Rainbow’s... really deeply hurt… and her reputation… I think her reputation is the most important thing for her. It feels bad, watching someone so normally full of vigor being mopey,” Fluttershy spoke, fighting back tears as she continued. “I think that’s why you feel this way. What… what can we do… it’s just not fair!”

Twilight turned to Fluttershy, and opened her mouth to speak, but instead furrowed her brow. Her mind was swimming with thoughts and plans as she thumped her hoof into the ground with each step, uncaring and unaware of anypony who might be watching her antics. Her horn flared up, and in an instant she disappeared.

“Ah!? Twilight! Where did you go?” Fluttershy squeaked, going airborne and zipping around the spot where Twilight had just been.

~~~~

Snips could only watch outside as his boss stormed down the street.
“Wow she looks ticked, I hope she’s not gonna be that bad on Monday,” he spoke aloud to himself, before looking around to see if anyone had a reply. He was suddenly glad the restaurant was so loud that nobody heard him. Apple Bloom was commanding everyone’s attention with animated tales of her distillery knowledge, and how the first drop of hard cider on her tongue in college finally landed the cutie mark on her flank.

With all the talk about cutie marks, Snips had his eyes on Twist’s crisscrossed peppermint sticks, curious as to how she had exactly gotten hers.

Twist sensed lingering eyes on her rear, and upon noticing Snips as the culprit, she quickly craned her neck to look at him, her cheeks slightly flushed. “Sthnips, why are you staring at my flank?” she asked as the other fillies at the table stifled giggles.

Snips snapped from his trance. “Oh, I was just wondering how you got your cutie mark. I mean, it’s pretty obvious with your passion, but i’m curious of the story behind it.”

“Oh, it’s a good story, but nowhere near as cool as how I got my checkered flag cutie mark,” Scootaloo interjected.

“Oh, when you’re done how about I tell you the story about microphone and heart cutie mark,” Sweetie Belle said in a sing-song voice.

“Well Ah ain’t finished telling y’all about mah cutie mark,” Apple Bloom slammed her drink down on the table, the contents slightly spilling out, “Ah got it so late they thought Ah’d never get it!”

Twist, Snips, and Snails all began laughing; their collective thoughts being vocalized by Twist. “How prethious, all the Cutie Mark Crusaders are so passionate abouth their cutie marks,” she said, playfully sticking her tongue out at that trio, tipsiness apparent in her voice.

The trio of Cutie Mark Crusaders looked at each other and began to laugh, joining the chorus of laughs. “Oh we’re sorry Twist. Go ahead, tell the boys, we’ll go grab some more sarsaparilla cause we’ve heard your story too many times already,” Sweetie Belle said as the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders trio got up from the table. They shot furtive glances back as they walked away, giggling amongst themselves.

“Well as the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders know, it all occured after I went home one day and wath helping my mom make thweets,” Twist spoke, “I had begun to twist and turn the thweets in the mixer. My mom got called to the front to help our customers. As I was curling and enthuring the thweets were the right temperature, I heard my mom thpeak to the customers, a couple as far as I could tell. All I heard about my mother was how happy they would be with their thweets. I then heard my mother laugh and following that, the customers laughter. I laughed myself, and before I knew it I looked at my flank and saw the two peppermint twist candies entwined.”

“Ooooh,” Snails vocalized, “What does it mean?”

“I still haven’t figured out EXACTLY what it means other than that I know I’m good at making thweets. I still do occasionally make thweets on the side, but now with the new job it theems like I do it leths,” Twist sighed as she laid her head down sideways on the table. “What about you Thnips?”

“Well, it all happened really early for me. My father was working on a newspaper article back when I lived in Canterlot and was having some difficulty with it. I asked him if I could look at it. He begrudingly agreed,” Snips said, stopping to take a sip of his sarsaparilla. “I noticed some structure issues here and there, and pointed them out to my father. Suddenly I felt a tingling sensation and I had a pair of scissors on my flank. It’s apparently to signify my ability to edit, like a film editor’s scissors cutting film strips.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders returned with a round of wheat-mixed sarsaparilla, colloquially referred to as Weiss Sarsparilla. Upon their arrival, Snails whispered to Snips. The pair stood up, nodding to themselves as they cantered off.

“Where in tarnation they going? We brought enough sarsaparilla for all of y’all,” Apple Bloom said with a puzzled expression as she put down the five bottles.

“I’m not exactly thure, I think they might be going to the wathroom,” Twist replied.

“Hee hee, best friends turning into colt cuddlers,” Sweetie Belle giggled.

“Ah’m pretty sure neither of their barn doors swing that way, Sweetie,” Apple Bloom said, matter of factly.

“Yesh, Thweetie Belle, you need to sthop reading your thsis’s trashy novels, Thnips is NOT that type of pony,” Twist added.

“Oh you fillies are SILLY,” Sweetie Belle waved her hoof dismissively before continuing, “I was obviously kidding. Regardless of why the boys are gone, its good, because... have you fillies read the latest issue of Fillypolitain, in it I heard…”

~~~

“Snails, why did you need me for the washroom? I am not aiming for you. I don’t swing that way,” Snips said.

“Ewwww no, I just needed to speak with you away from the fillies. How about you and Twist, you were totally checking out her flank eh? I can’t believe the fillies fell for that cover about the cutie mark,” Snails said slowly. “So you got a crush on that filly, a steamy office romance entwining colt and filly?”

“Meh,” Snips simply shrugged.

“Meh?! That’s all you have to say.. meh.” Snails said sharply.

~~~

“Oh my goodness, Apple Bloom! That position wouldn’t work at all. Could you imagine...”

“Ahem!” Snips cleared his throat, stopping Scootaloo midsentence.

“W-Welcome back you two,” Scootaloo said, her eyes darting around the room.

“So, do I even want to know what you fillies were talking about?” Snails said, drawing out the last word sarcastically.

“Um, probably not,” Twist replied meekly.

Suddenly, and much to the relief of the fillies, the lights in the bar went dim and the stage lights flickered on, illuminating a section of the bar that had been vacated of chairs and tables.

“To our esteemed patrons, today, we present to you a special guest! One who is sure to liven up our dancefloor: DJ P0n-3 of Manehatten!” came an announcement over the PA system. As the announcer finished, the stage lights flicked on, along with gobos and lasers gryating randomly. Just moments later, thumping bass began to fill the bar.

“Come on everypony, let’s dance!” Twist spoke, grabbing hold of Snips and Scootaloo while the others got up of their own accord, excited by the thumps of the subwoofers that shook the floor.

“Wait..what?! This is a dance club...” said Snips. “I can’t dance!”

“As always you’re just too thilly Thnips! Nopony cares! Just move to the beat,” Twist smiled at him as Snails berated Snips.

“Really... and they call me slow eh? You didn’t even realize this was a dance bar?”

~~~

Twilight re-materialized outside an immaculately kept white mansion. She walked up to a window and peered through the pristine glass. She watched him, the prince of ponies, sitting there, surrounded by his expensive coats and gold lamps. She flared up her horn and gripped the window with a magical tendril, Okay, so I’ll just go in there, and debate with him until he realizes how wrong hese been. A simple task for the three time debate club champion... wait is he with others?

She shook her head, “Hmph. Maybe direct confrontation isn’t the answer, Id be stooping to his level. A nice petition or letter writing campaign to my academic friends and professors who are close to Blueblood, thats what ill do," Twilight said to the night sky as she trotted away.

Thankfully, Twilight was unable to hear inside, for if she could, the night may have taken a different turn. Inside, the powder white unicorn adorned with a fancy compass rose cutie mark magicked a crystal glass to his lips. He timidly sipped the delicately fermented grape juice inside, worth more than most ponies made in a year. He looked around at his trifecta of stallion companions, sitting eloquently on lavish red leather armchairs as he set his glass down and sighed. “This situation is more grave than I thought, chaps. Upon careful investigation, I have uncovered another disgusting insult to our society among the ranks of the Wonderbolts. It seems that Wildfire has inherited the same filthy genetic disposition as her elder sister Spitfire. The same disposition that will eventually wipe out all of stallionkind. I am of course speaking to the filthy act of Filly Foolery,” Prince Blueblood finished, spitting out the final two words as if the very parlance of them besmirching his lips was an insult to his vocal cords.

The corpulent pony with a Fu Manchu was first to reply, banging his hoof on the table, almost knocking the monocle off his eye. “I SAY, this is MOST disastrous. This brings the tally percentiles of the team that is choosing to mate with their own gender--a most disgusting habit--to three fourths of the team! We must act with haste, my fellow stallions, and destroy this team!”

“I concur with zee sound analysis of Colonel Ace," said the second stallion, red coated with a yellow star cutie mark. "Zee time for vaiting iz OVER!"

“I agree y’all. I reckon these insults to our long-standing Equestrian traditions have been allowed their free roam for far too long now.” came the final reply from a plain brown stallion.

“Then it's settled, chaps. We must act with haste, but the real question is--how are we to strike with ruinious intent on the team? And how are we to reshape it with players more suited to Equestrian traditions?" said Blueblood with a grin. “I believe I have already dealt a victorious blow against Rainbow Dash, causing her emotional folly with my verbal skills and silver tongued beatdown. I also issued quite the threat against her treasured Wonderbolts. Hopefully her and her precious Spitfire will resign from the team on their own accord.”

“Yez, that iz wonderful, however I think zee day will not be won by zimply berating zem. We hafto have anozer plan," spoke the red stallion.

Prince Blueblood just stared at him, smiling “And that, Sickle Hammer, is why I have created this plan,” he said, using his magic to levitate a large blue-hued scroll from behind his chair, before unrolling the blueprints on the table.

____ To be continued_____

Special Thanks and Editors notes:

Thanks #EquestrianStudy #brony #bronymusic #bronyradio, #equestrianmusicians for their continued support. Particularily Foolonthehillz, Blunosedreindeer, MisakiPony, Nightbreak, Eights, and Autumn Wind, Ponymarine, Ayin, Matt, Lazy, and LaptopGun, for amazing editing/formatting and more help than I ever would have expected.

Thanks to DJ MidgetBrony, Lithe, Keyframe, BillyColt, HappyThoughts, TiramisuTales, Vargas, Scystorm and many others for believing in me and giving words of encouragement

Super special thanks to Leowulf of #bronyRadio for an epic 30min long speech on why I shouldn’t give up ficcing.

Thanks to anyone I’ve missed or who stopped in and commenting while remaining anonymous!

and Finally thanks to you, the reader, for reading this fic! I hope you’ve enjoyed it so far and I look forward to providing your literary enjoyment for many chapters to come.