How I Learned to Stop Being Harmonious and Learned to Love Chaos

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Chapter 1

Discord hoped that by ignoring the problem, it would go away. Except, that didn’t seem to be happening with this particular problem. This problem was annoying. She followed him everywhere. Asking questions. She asked good questions, but that was beside the point. It was one question she kept asking in particular that bothered Discord to no end.

“Can I please be your student? Please? You are the most interesting creature I know!”

Discord covered his face with his lion’s paw and stopped in his tracks. It was the same question every day, several times a day. “Look, Charis, for the last time, no. Just no. You are an earth pony. You don’t even have magic. While I do admit that you have a keen mind, I cannot take on a student even if I wanted to. I think the Princesses would take it wrong.”

“But… I am an earth pony that wants to be the student of a draconequus, surely you must appreciate just how chaotic that is!” Charis retorted.

“Why is this so important to you!” Discord snapped, finally losing his temper.

“Because you are the only creature I know that makes sense!” Charis shouted back.

Discord froze, unable to reply. He certainly hadn’t expected that. This was an entirely new approach to weaken his resolve. The clever filly had tried flattery, philosophical arguments, logic, but honesty was a new approach. The draconequus cringed, knowing that Celestia could and would smite him if he stepped one claw out of line. But that was the least of his concerns. There was Fluttershy to worry about as well, and one disapproving glance from her would undo him. He stared at the irritating pink filly and stood, forelegs akimbo, glaring balefully at her, hoping she would just go away.

“Look here Mister I Have Fancy Magic That Can Break the Cosmos, you are ALONE. All alone. And for all of your talk about balance, and how you preserve the balance, things are not balanced. There are four alicorns now and only one of you. Before, there were two alicorns, and one of you, and things were probably a bit more balanced. Am I wrong?” Charis asked.

Discord growled in frustration. He hated when she was right. Once she found a new angle to work on, she clung to it with earth pony tenacity and stubbornness. Even draconequuskind had a hard time dealing with earth pony stubbornness.

“Look, if you take me on as a student, as your pupil, you will have somepony to back you up in a debate with the Princesses. Unless I am feeling chaotic of course, and decide that screwing you over would be a good time waiting to happen,” Charis reasoned.

Discord struggled to hide his grin. Charis understood all too well. She was entirely too much like him. She was barely even a pony. She was something in a pony suit. He wasn’t sure what, but he had to admit he liked the cotton candy pink filly immensely sometimes… as much as he hated her at other times. Like now, when she was weakening his resolve.

“Look, you have promised to use your powers as a counter-balance once again to maintain the effective levels of order and disorder needed in this world, not for selfish gain. Certainly one earth pony filly as your student wouldn’t be selfish. It would be an act of balance. To correct for all of those earth pony fillies that aren’t your students. I am an anomaly, at least acknowledge that,” Charis argued.

“You are something,” Discord agreed.

“I just want to learn from you. You have so much to teach. You have perspectives and viewpoints outside of pony society, and I don’t fit into pony society. Look at me. I am almost an adult and no cutie mark. Nothing. I have no purpose. I have no meaning. I am a blank slate. I am free to do whatever I want whenever I want. I have no duty to fulfill. Nothing is expected from me by anypony. I walk into a room and ponies barely acknowledge me. I don’t belong in their society because they don’t know how to identify me or categorize me. I am an earth pony born to do what exactly? If I am to be a blank slate, then I want to write my own destiny as I go. Make me your student!”

“Fine! Just shut up already!” Discord shouted, throwing his forelegs up into the air and shaking his head. His forelegs landed on the ground a moment later and he was forced to pick them up with his tail and pop them back into place.

“Really?” Charis asked.

“Yes, I will take you as my apprentice. You have successfully pushed me to the brink of insanity and that is no easy task!” Discord muttered, wiggling his limbs after reattaching them. He approached the filly, a scowl upon his face, his griffon arm extended, one claw protruding. He touched the filly on her forehead, causing her to cry out in alarm.

“What did you do to me?” she demanded.

“I’ve marked you as my own. You are bonded to me. I have claimed you. You are my first student, and I don’t want something happening to you like a manticore eating you or something. That would be annoying!” Discord replied.

“But being eaten and pooped out by a manticore might be a fascinating learning experience. Certainly you could preserve me…” Charis stated.

A mad cackle escaped Discord’s lips. “Oh my, you are going to be a fun student, you seriously think being eaten by a manticore would be educational?”

Charis nodded.

“Well, maybe not on your first day, but we might be able to arrange that. I just realised, I have no idea what to do with you. I guess our relationship continues as it has been. Talking. Debating. Exchanging ideas,” Discord mused.

Charis beamed and the draconequus reached down to tousle her purple mane.

“Wait, is that appropriate student teacher contact?” Discord asked.

“Who decides what is appropriate?” Charis asked. “Morality is like colour. Describe the colour blue to a blind pony. Does a dragon share the same morals as a pony? Can either be described as a moral being to the other?”

Discord stroked his chin. “Now that you mention it,” he muttered. “I suppose morals are what I hold myself to, and all the good things I do are selfishly done to suit my own needs so I can continue being friends with Fluttershy. Hmm.”

“Is that wrong?” Charis asked.

“Well, no. I am happy, Fluttershy is happy, which is important to me, and the world is made a slightly better place because I am selfishly serving my own needs and selfish desires,” Discord reasoned.

“If you want to keep me as a student, and I wish to keep you as my teacher, it is in our better interests to treat one another with respect, which could constitute morality or a social contract of some sort I suppose. I don’t mind if you touch me, I liked it,” Charis returned. “I have nothing to fear from you, I know where your heart lies.”

Discord looked serious for a moment.

“And I have no intentions of attempting to intrude. What you have with her is special,” Charis stated.

Discord relaxed.

The two creatures sized one another up, looking at one another in new ways, each one truly looking at the other with an open mind and taking in all they saw and perceived. Now that he was open to the idea, the draconequus saw his potential equal, which is what all students were, if they had good teachers.

“First lesson, dealing with authority figures,” Discord cackled. He snapped his fingers and the world around them shifted.

Charis found herself staring at a very shocked looking Princess Celestia, who was raising her eyebrow at Discord. The monarch was on her throne.

“Sorry to intrude while you were on the toilet, but I had to let you know that I took on a student,” Discord stated. “It only seemed polite.”

The defecating monarch suffered a bout of embarrassing crepitation during her moment of surprise.

The world shifted again and Charis found herself in a small round chamber. There were some curved sofas around the walls, a fine looking rug, and one very annoyed looking draconequus.

“She teleported me away while I was trying to be civil,” Discord groused.

“She was pinching a loaf,” Charis reasoned.

“That wasn’t stopping her from conversation, she talks out of the other end. Usually. Never tell her I said this, but she does on occasion talk out of her ass,” Discord replied.

“True,” Charis agreed.

“Pay attention, authority figures often overlook simple civility when dealing with you,” Discord summarised.

“Noted,” Charis quipped.

Discord began to pace back and forth in the room, his forelegs folded behind his back, his brow furrowed with thought. His tail swished back and forth.

The door was slammed open a moment later and an angry white alicorn came bursting through, her horn blazing with golden light. “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?” she demanded.

Discord moved between Celestia and Charis, claws extended. “You harm one hair on my student’s head, and the peace is off! No more mister nice draconequus!”

Princess Celestia froze, her eyes wide, a look of surprise and horror upon her features. “Well, at least your priorities are well placed. You protected your student using your own body. I am surprised Discord. I may have over-reacted and I apologise for doing so,” said Celestia as her horn slowly went dim. “But taking a student, why?”

“She made very convincing arguments. She is probably the wisest philosopher you have in your kingdom. She’s been making them for almost a year now,” Discord replied, saying nothing else.

“So is this a philosophical arrangement?” Celestia inquired.

“Yes,” Discord answered.

“I see,” the alicorn stated, still looking very confused. “Very well then. Do not abuse my trust."

“Did everything come out okay?” Charis inquired politely.

Celestia turned her head and regarded the earth pony, her lips pressed into a thin flat line. “She already has your blatant disregard for authority,” Celestia commented.

“Your ponies made her that way, they treat her like a pariah because she doesn’t have her magical butt mark of destiny,” Discord retorted. “Wasn’t it you who told me respect isn’t given, it is earned?”

Celestia heaved a sigh of exasperation.

“I might be wrong here, but it seems to me that you expect Discord to acknowledge your authority. He’s reformed, he behaves, he has helped out Equestria many times now, but you do nothing to acknowledge his authority. His chaos defines your harmony. You two need one another. Yet you offer him no sense of respect in return for the respect you feel he owes you simply because you wear that tacky crown,” Charis elucidated.

Discord clamped his paw over his mouth as he choked, wheezing and coughing, his eyes wide as his was torso heaving. His tail twitched as he struggled to contain himself.

“Charis…” Celestia said.

“What?” replied Charis, staring Celestia in the eye.

“I don’t know how to reply to that,” Celestia admitted. “Now there are two of you.”

“And four of you,” Charis replied.

“Can we start over and begin again?” Celestia asked.

“So you failed and you want a do-over,” Charis stated.

Celestia sighed and summoned her patience. “Yes, yes I do.”

“I am agreeable to that,” Charis stated. “Discord?”

“I am as well. Charis is correct though. A little respect might be nice. You treat me like I am an underling,” Discord said.

“I do. You are both correct. And for that, I am sorry,” Celestia apologised.

“It was a pleasure to meet you your highness, I hope you will forgive me for my intrusion into your privacy. It was not my fault,” said Charis, still looking Celestia in the eye.

“Discord, bathrooms are off limits. Please. In the future. May I ask this of you?” Celestia inquired.

“I suppose so, but I still don’t understand the big deal,” Discord said.

“Thank you,” replied Celestia, her tone one of appreciation.

“Well, I learned how to deal with authority figures. Treat them like ponies,” Charis stated. “I feel wiser already.”

Author's Note

I am so sorry... I had to write this. I was suffering writer's constipation and the blockage had to come out.

I regret nothing! Nothing I tell you!

Except any mistakes I might have missed. Do tell me about those if you will. Thanks.

Chapter 2

Discord had snapped his fingers again, and Charis found herself in a bleak barren desert. All around her was scorched rock. The sun burned overhead, large angry and red. It didn’t look the same as the sun she remembered.

“What is this place?” asked Charis. “And why is it so hot?”

“This… this my dear student is the reality right next door where I failed to do my job,” Discord stated, making a grand gesture with his forelegs. “This is the future where I allowed Luna to remain sane. I was benevolent and never became a tyrant. Celestia had nothing to struggle for, nothing to strive against. She and Luna were ridiculously happy. Until one day, the power went to Celestia’s head, because she has absolute power. And it corrupted her absolutely. Luna tried to stop her. Celestia unraveled her sister’s immortality and then burned her into nothingness. Celestia didn’t stop there. There was nothing that could stop her. She burned off every trace of life from this ball of rock and mud, boiled away the oceans, and now, she roams the universe, looking for more things to burn. She’s burned away countless civilisations upon other worlds. Moving from star to star, sun to sun, she goes looking for planets orbiting those suns and any life that may exist upon them.”

“So you prevented this from happening?” Charis said, struggling to understand.

“Yes. I had to. As you can see, the alternative is quite bleak. I had to give a young Celestia something to strive against to shape her into the monarch she is today. But that wasn’t enough. I had to pick one of the royal sisters and drive them into madness, really, it had to be done. I chose Luna, the weaker of the two, knowing that Celestia could make the world recover from the extended period of night. There would be no way for Luna to do the reverse. I had to hedge my bets and make sure that life endured for the sake of balance,” Discord explained.

“Wait, your reformation,” Charis gasped.

“You are far too clever my little pony…” Discord chortled.

“Your reformation is an act!” Charis exclaimed.

“Yes. Now that the balance has been established for the time being, I can tone it down and only need to worry about maintaining equilibrium rather than having to force it. Maintenance is important, otherwise, things go out of balance again,” Discord explained.

“So you are lying about being reformed,” Charis blurted.

“Lying is such an ugly word,” Discord muttered. “I am merely playing the role I am required to play. I didn’t actually want to be evil, but things much bigger than I am compelled me to do some very unpleasant things. I saw the outcomes of what might happen if I didn’t act. Would you let this happen?” Discord asked as he gestured to the scorched earth all around him.

“Well… no. I guess not,” Charis admitted. “And you are telling me all of this?”

“Well, you are my student now… isn’t this what I am supposed to do?” Discord queried. “I know you will not tell the others. I will show you things over time, reveal small truths, and then greater truths. This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“More than anything,” Charis replied, looking around.

“I could show you a world where Luna was victorious and the world was shrouded in eternal night. Surprisingly, life survives. Luna eventually drives Nightmare Moon from her mind. Celestia remains locked in the sun for a thousand years. Luna changes the plant life and even the ponies. She preserves life rather than allow it to freeze away. When Celestia is finally released, she cannot release the sun from its shroud of darkness because it would destroy all life on the planet. She and her sister make peace,” Discord said.

“So Celestia really is that destructive?” Charis asked. “Or could be?”

“Celestia is all about fire and burning. Fire is important. It is just as much a force of chaos as I am. Celestia and I aren’t that different really. Luna on the other paw is a different creature. The moon controls the tides. The moon is where the cycles of life are synched. Estrus is tied to the moon. Luna does not know it, but she is the guardian of all life on on this planet. She keeps the biological cycles synched, allowing the propagation of life to continue. Her moon controls all cycles of fertility for every species. Luna’s power is subtle, but it is perhaps even more important than her sister. Luna’s power is also another form of chaos hiding in the guise of order. Her so called harmony is really just nature doing what nature has always done. Finding a way,” Discord explained.

“So Celestia had to be subdued somehow to allow Luna to continue her function. We couldn’t risk having Celestia go bad, so she had be made responsible and feel some kind of emotional obligation for life all around her as well as a duty to protect and care for her sister,” Charis reasoned. “Rather than a prison, like say, being turned to stone, you bound her with guilt and shame for failing her sister.”

Discord nodded, looking pleased.

“So who do you answer to?” Charis asked.

“I don’t know, but I can feel it nudge me sometimes. I get feelings. Intuitions. That was part of the reason I didn’t take you as my student for so long. There was no clear indicator either way. And there still isn’t,” Discord admitted. “And now that I have placed a seed of my essence in you, giving you my mark, I suspect that you will soon feel the nudges as well. Call it another intuition perhaps.”

Charis stared at the bleak landscape all around them. There was absolutely nothing but rocks and fine powdery sand.

“You would burn to death right now if I wasn’t protecting you,” Discord stated, watching the filly study her surroundings.

“So you prevented this from happening by being a massive pain in Celestia’s ass, and making her protective of her ponies, whom you threatened and ruled over as a tyrant?” Charis asked.

“Yep, pretty much. I failed here. I was kind. I was gentle. I treated everything here the way I treat you or Fluttershy right now. I didn’t have the heart to do the cruel merciless things required to mold Celestia into a responsible force of nature. And this is what happened,” Discord replied.

“This is terrible,” Charis stated.

“Sometimes, you have to kill to be kind. An act of cruelty is really generousity. Lying is honesty. Betrayal is loyalty. And remorseless derision is the only way to preserve laughter. I have had to do all of these things. I have had to live with all of these things. We spoke of morality before, but now that you have glimpsed beyond the usual mortal curtain, what do you think of morality now?” Discord questioned.

“I don’t know yet. Ask me that when I have had to kill something out of kindness. When I have had to indulge in selflessness of my cruelty, giving it freely away to all those around me. When I have had to live a lie to uphold integrity. When I have had to become a traitor to preserve those I hold dear. Or when I have had to heartlessly mock those I would rather comfort with gentle humour,” Charis replied.

“You are fit to be my student I believe. Listen to you. You do understand. I suppose this is why I make sense to you. What is it like living among your fellow ponies, knowing that such thoughts lurk in your mind and such awful things exist in your heart?” Discord asked.

“I’ve never fit in. Ever. I have been pushed away by everypony I have ever met,” Charis replied. “And how could they be so awful if they serve a higher purpose? What might seem bad at the time might be necessary and good when viewed from outside the situation. I can accept that.”

“Very good,” Discord praised.

“Why don’t Celestia and Luna know about this? Have you tried showing them? Explaining this?” Charis asked.

“I can’t do that. Celestia knowing that she had been manipulated, it would undo all of the good the manipulation has done for her. And neither one of them are ready for such truths. It would destroy them, they are far too weak.” Discord admitted.

“But I am an earth pony… I am just a nopony… I’ve taken it in quite well I think. I can’t say for certain, and they are alicorns, certainly they are stronger than I am,” Charis argued.

“Because you are a nopony. You don’t raise the sun or the moon. You don’t have absolute power granted to you by some divine beneficial serendipity extended by the universe. You are strong because you are weak. They are weak because they are strong. Their great strengths are millstones around their necks. You are nothing. You said it yourself. You are free. There are no obligations from you. No responsibility. If you stumbled, it would be no great loss. Hence, you have strength. I was once like you. Nothing. A nobody. I had no purpose, no meaning. No obvious sense of destiny. You can take in these harsh truths and they don’t undo everything you believe in, because you believe in nothing. You are strong Charis. You wore me down and hounded me until I finally became annoyed. You rejected the nihilism presented to you by the universe and sought something better. You were ready to create your own sense of purpose, something your fellow equine-kind are completely incapable of doing. Are you ready to return to them?” said Discord, his words odd because he never once stopped to draw breath, everything had simply been said without pause.

“This place is dead and we don’t belong here,” Charis stated, looking up at her mentor.

“You are correct,” Discord agreed. He snapped his fingers.

Discord was gone, off to join Fluttershy for tea. Charis studied the ponies all around her, ponies were oblivious to the small truths and the larger truths that protected their existence. Ponies who lived because they hadn’t been burned away by the sun. Ponies that owed their existence to Discord. And would never know.

Of course, Charis questioned these truths shown to her, these were possible truths. She had no way of knowing which reality she lived in, or if Discord truly was what he claimed to be in this reality.

Yet his words held grains of truth, and she had to accept that. Perhaps this was a test, and more truth would be revealed later, absolute truth, where there was no means of denial.

Except that Charis didn’t believe in absolute truth. Only absolute perceptions, which could perhaps be also proven false, if given the right angle and insight.

Potentially, all things were true, even the untrue things. Because of this, she had to accept that all things were potentially possible, even if highly improbable. Chaos made all things possible and probable, and as she had learned earlier, the truth was hiding in blatant falsehoods.

Princess Celestia believed Discord to be the reformed enemy, but the potential truth was, she had been reformed before she had a chance to become the enemy. She had never realised her probable potential, and now, she was living a lie which sheltered her from the truth, which would be destructive. It was easier to accept Discord as the common foe and it united ponykind. Except that Discord was no longer the common foe, so what was holding ponykind together?

Charis did not know. Perhaps society would break down again and Discord would become the enemy needed to bring everypony together. Perhaps she would become that enemy. Perhaps Discord would set up one of the new alicorns to take a fall and bring ponykind together. Her mind was open to all of these possibilities now, however improbable they might be.

One thing was true. Charis was no longer a pony. Now, now she was a student of chaos. She didn’t know what that made her, not exactly, but so far it had changed the fundamental nature of her being.

Author's Note

Another chapter. Discussion is expected.

Let me know if I missed any booboos.

Enjoy.

Chapter 3

Discord was nowhere to be found. He was off somewhere, perhaps in some universe next door, or perhaps some other place on the planet. There was no way to know for sure. Charis had questions. Charis wanted to know what other versions of her were like. What was her potential.

She supposed it all came down to destiny.

Ponyville was in a state of commotion. Charis wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, except that there were a lot of shouting angry ponies. Something about a new tax, and it was hitting the farmers pretty hard.

And all of the farmers were earth ponies.

There were a large crowd of them out shouting in front of the town hall even now, protesting the new tax, and protesting what was believed to be another means to hold earth ponies down while the other tribes prospered.

The situation was rapidly getting out of hoof.

Charis felt herself drawn to the chaos, pulled in, and there was this gentle buzzing in her brain, a need to be in the center of all the chaos… and perhaps rile it up just a tiny bit. Perhaps add a little fuel on the fire.

She began to push her way through the crowd, the sound of angry voices urging her onwards, a mad frenetic feeling building up inside of her mind. There was something glorious about the disharmony around her. The excitable equines were straining against their own herd structure.

It wouldn’t take much to push them into a frenzy.

Nervously licking her lips, Charis pushed her way up on to the wooden platform with Ivory Scroll, the mayor of Ponyville. She gently pushed the mayor away from the podium. An odd terrifying silence settled over the mob, and furious eyes all focused on Charis.

If Discord had been here, he could have warned his student about quiet seething masses and the dangers of a mob fallen silent. But Discord was gone. And Charis was alone, all by herself, feeling the first itch of chaos.

“All of civilisation is built upon our backs!” Charis announced. “We earth ponies are the foundation from which the other ponies have built their civilisation! And for too long, we have been exploited! We carry the burden of this exploitation upon our shoulders, and we have done so for so long that it has broken us and crushed our spirits!”

There was an angry roar from the crowd.

“Who makes the food? Who toils day after day in the fields? And what do we have to show for it? Look around you! Look at Carousel Boutique! What does Rarity do that contributes to our society? She makes clothes! CLOTHES! Which most of us never wear! Yet her business continues to prosper, and she is one of the wealthiest ponies in town, aided by her MAGIC, which allows her to find gems. She has MAGIC that has allowed her to become fabulously wealthy! Meanwhile, the Apple family, who feeds us all, FEEDS us, had to take out another loan again to keep their heads above water. How is this right? We don’t need clothing, we need food! What is wrong with our priorities as a society?” Charis said, her words inciting rage in all who listened.

There was another angry roar and furious shouts began to ripple through the crowd.

“Meanwhile, Rarity and her gems continue to make us poorer and poorer. She can afford to offer extra bits to a merchant, so now the merchants expect extra bits from all of us! Inflation! The term is inflation! And as long as Rarity keeps dumping gems into our local economy, we are all going to become poorer and poorer as a bit continues to buy less and less. And bits come so easily to all unicorns. A little magic and their work is done for the day! Meanwhile, we earth ponies labour from sunup to sundown, breaking our backs, sweating, using our muscles and sinew, performing the sort of work that keeps our society together. Pulling goods from one place to another. Hauling food and supplies in wagons. Growing food. And we get paid what for it? Very little! And now, a new tax is coming, which will take away even more of the precious few bits we have, and we will all be poorer for it, while the unicorns like Rarity just have to go out and magic up a few bits to make ends meet!” Charis shouted.

A dangerous feeling of power flowed through Charis. Something glorious awoke within her. There was truth, and then there was truth. And nothing held more truth than an angry mob.

“We should stop making food and performing the services vital to our society until our needs are met!” Charis proposed.

The mob exploded.

No longer content to stand in place and seethe, the center failed to hold and the mob began to spread out into the town, trampling everything that got in their way. There was the tinkling of broken glass and smoke began to rise up into the air.

“What have you done?”

Charis turned and saw Discord standing near her, looking both amused and concerned. He stood akimbo, his forelegs folded and his paw and talons resting on his hips. As the situation began to spiral out of control all around her, a warm pleasant feeling spread through her brain.

“I told the truth. My words were honest,” Charis said as flames began to rise into the sky. Pegasi hurried back and forth, bringing in rainclouds to put out the fires that were being set.

“So our little chat yesterday had an effect I see… did you do this out of kindness? Or personal satisfaction?” Discord asked.

“Both. Maybe. Maybe I did it because it had to be done,” Charis stated.

Flames crackled from the Carousel Boutique and screams echoed through the town. Bands of pegasi were busy trying to contain the many fires. The earth ponies were rampaging. There was nothing to hold them back. Order had broken down completely.

“Look what you did…” Discord said in astonishment.

“You were gone, where did you go and why did you suddenly reappear?” Charis asked.

“I was busy trying to talk to Celestia about you, and making a whole bunch of promises I only barely intended to keep, in a very vague and ambiguous sense,” Discord replied.

“Give me ambiguity or give me something else,” Charis stated.

“You are learning,” Discord quipped.

“Wow, the marketplace is really burning quite well… I wonder where ponies are going to buy food now. The farmers will have plenty of food, but the rest of the townsponies are going to be up the creek without a paddle,” Charis observed.

“Want marshmallows?” Discord offered .

“No thanks,” Charis declined.

“You did a bad thing Charis… and I am proud of you,” Discord said.

“What did I do?” Charis inquired.

“You told these ponies the truth. You stated the obvious. It was the lie that all were aware of, but nopony wanted to acknowledge. Life isn’t fair. You stated such, and then pointed out the most obvious reasons on why it wasn’t fair. Some have to work hard and break their backs, while others have to barely work at all and a trying afternoon is trying to figure out what to get from the overly generous menu at the posh cafe that is so popular… the wait staff of course are those sorts of ponies that have to work far too hard and get so little in return,” Discord answered.

“But honesty is an element of harmony… yet by telling the truth, I caused this,” Charis observed. “Where is the harmony to be found in the honesty that has taken place here? What happened to integrity being an asset to society?”

Discord said nothing, but watched the rain make a nearby fire sizzle. He heaved a sigh of boredom and scratched his back just above his tail. All around him the riot continued to become worse.

“I feel confused,” Charis confessed.

“Then something has gone right,” Discord announced. “We should go. It would be wise to vacate the area immediately.” The draconequus snapped his talons.

Charis found herself in a vast meadow, surrounded by green grass, colourful flowers, and flying bugs of all kinds. There were a few clouds overhead. Somewhere nearby, a brook babbled down a small waterfall. The setting was as beautiful as it was serene.

“What do you see?” Discord asked.

“A meadow,” Charis answered.

“Is that all?” Discord queried.

“No, I suppose it isn’t, I guess another lesson is about to happen,” Charis replied.

“Clever pony,” Discord quipped.

“Thank you,” Charis replied graciously.

“What you see all around you is well-ordered chaos. The illusion of calm. In a thousand years, the water in that stream will have worn away a ravine in the middle of this meadow. Or it might become a river, and we are standing in what might be a future riverbed. The clouds drift by overhead, free from pegasi controls, and many of the bugs you see are busy killing one another for food,” Discord explained. “Now, this is the illusion of calm. What do you think would happen if a tornado came through here?”

“Hmm,” Charis hummed. “I suppose we would see active chaos? The illusion would be dispelled. All of the seeming calm would be disrupted and… I don’t know. Changes would take place very rapidly instead of slowly in a way that few can observe,” Charis said, wondering how much change Discord must have observed in his long life.

“Today, the calm meadow of Ponyville was visited by a tornado,” Discord explained, his tone mildly sarcastic. “The illusion of calm in Ponyville was destroyed by one mouthy earth pony.”

Charis giggled and then flopped over to roll in the grass. She snorted a few times, feeling the sun on her body as she sprawled and stretched her legs. She became aware that Discord was watching her and that he was smiling faintly.

“Discord, what are the other versions of me like in other universes next door?” Charis asked.

“You only exist here,” Discord replied. “You are a mystery to me. I remain confused by you. I cannot peer ahead into your future. You are alone, a singular unique entity found only in this universe. I do not know what to make of you.”

Charis found no words to reply. She lay in the grass, looking upward at the clouds and the sky, wondering what we she was and how she could confuse Discord. She suddenly felt very unsure about herself.

“I suppose you might be a chaotic anomaly. You just exist because you need to, and not for any particular reason. Or maybe a very important reason. I can’t tell. It is part of the reason I rejected you for so long. I do not know what to make of you,” Discord confessed.

“Have you spoken with other versions of yourself?” Charis asked.

“Yes. Many times. I cannot stand some versions of myself. We are all very different, even though we all serve the same purpose. I met a version of me that murdered my dearest Fluttershy… It left me very disturbed. He did it because he felt the emotional attachment was simply too much and the temptation would lead him astray from his purpose,” Discord replied.

“That’s really sad. And depressing. Do you love her?” Charis inquired.

“I suppose I do. I certainly love everything about her. She is a creature composed of contradictions. She is a gentle monster. A quiet storm of fury. She is a calm panic. I cannot help but notice that in almost every reality that I am aware of, we meet, and something happens between us. In this reality, I love her,” Discord admitted.

“Does she know?” the earth pony asked.

“She knows that I am her friend, and that she is very dear to me,” the draconequus answered. “I love the quiet way she walks. The way she moves. The way her mane bobs over her eyes when she trots. The way she can be so timidly fearless.”

“So what is stopping you from loving her and telling her all of this?” Charis asked, her face contorting with confusion and her ears splaying out sideways.

“Watching her age as I look at her. Seeing her slowly withering like a beautiful precious and rare flower. Everything I look at dies by degrees. Well, mortal things anyway. And then there is you, I can’t peer into your future,” Discord confessed. “I don’t know what you are, but you do not age.”

“That’s awful,” Charis said. “But you could still love her… how is just being her friend any different?”

“I don’t know,” the draconequus heaved sadly. “It is the lie I tell myself I suppose. I choose to remain the peaceful meadow, and Fluttershy would become my tornado if I allowed her to.”

Charis did not reply. Perhaps some truths were best left unspoken.

Author's Note

Another chapter.

Discuss below! I want some discussion!

And let me know if there are any mistakes I missed. Have fun, and have yourself a nice think.

Chapter 4

Discord found himself in the odd position of laying beside Charis in the grass and staring up at the clouds. It was something he usually only did with Fluttershy. It left him feeling oddly vulnerable and exposed. It was also relaxing. He didn’t have to hide what he was. He was free to be himself.

“Incoming,” Discord said as he felt a chaotic itch.

“What?” Charis asked.

“You will see,” Discord said with a grin as he sat up.

A moment later there was a loud pop and the fizzling crackle of energy. And then there was another draconequus standing in the meadow with them. It looked remarkably like Discord, but different.

It was also female.

“I felt such an odd disturbance… oh hello,” the female draconequus greeted.

“Charis, this is Eris. Eris, this is Charis. Eris, Charis is my student,” Discord said as he introduced the two to one another. He looked excited as he rose to his feet and then hovered mid air ignoring gravity.

“You took a student?” Eris asked. She peered at the earth pony. “This one is weird,” she observed.

“Tell me about it,” Discord replied. “How are things in your reality? How is dearest Butterscotch?”

“Oh, he is still trying to reform me. And we have so much fun,” Eris replied.

“Butterscotch?” Charis inquired. “Reform?” she questioned.

“Butterscotch is Fluttershy, only male. He is quite shy. And sweet,” Discord said, his words punctuated with a snigger.

“And he is reforming me through loving bondage. I am such a naughty draconequus. I have to act as though my power has been nullified and let him try to reform me. Butterscotch is a soft spoken and very shy pony in public… but in the bedroom he is all about putting me in my place like the naughty little vixen I am. I am getting better I am pleased to report. Prince Solarus believes that in time I will be a productive member of society once I finally learn my place,” Eris explained.

“He hurts you?” Charis asked in disbelief.

“Only as much as I allow him to. We have a safe word. And he apologises the entire time he is doing it, which is adorable. Prince Solarus believed that Butterscotch had the best chance of reforming me because Butterscotch fell madly in love with me after I thawed out from the block of ice I had been captured in for a few hundred years,” Eris responded.

“I… I don’t even know how to feel about that,” Charis replied.

“You will never know how to feel about anything if you don’t experience something different once in a while,” Eris stated. She giggled and exchanged a glance with Discord. “You go through life as you are, trapped inside of your own perspectives. Even if you keep an open mind, you are still forced to be what you are and that seldom ever changes for most sapient beings,” Eris explained.

“I don’t understand,” Charis replied.

“Do you want to?” Eris asked solemnly.

There was a twinge of fear that coursed through Charis’ nerves. She nodded slowly. “Yes, I do want to understand,” she said in small timid voice.

Eris snapped her fingers and Charis suddenly felt very different. She wasn’t sure what was different, but something about her felt different. “I still don’t understand,” Charis said in confusion. “I thought I was supposed to understand,” Charis continued.

Eris hovered over and ran her paw down Charis’ back, causing Charis to shudder and tremble with sudden sensation. Charis gasped as Eris grasped her tail, gave it a tug, and then pulled it aside. Charis gave a startled cry as Eris gave a tug on something else.

Only Charis didn’t have anything else back there to tug on.

There was something back there to tug on.

Charis took a deep breath, tried to speak, but couldn’t. Discord and Eris began to chortle and smile at one another. There was something dangling between her legs back there. Charis lowered her head between her front legs and peered towards her own back end. Her eyes confirmed her suspicions.

“Those are testicles,” Charis announced.

“Yes they are,” Eris agreed.

“I have testicles,” Charis stated matter of factly.

“Yes you do,” Eris commented.

“And now my student, you finally get to experience being something other than what you are. You have spent your whole life being female. You have nothing but a feminine perspective, which isn’t your fault really. But now, now you get a chance to gain a different perspective in the only way that truly matters,” Discord said with a wry smile.

“Am I stuck like this?” Charis asked.

“No, it will wear off in time,” Eris replied.

“So… if I become aroused I guess other parts of me will become visible,” Charis said as she continued to stare back at her own testicles.

“Very visible,” Eris replied.

“Fascinating,” Charis said. “I have never been with a colt but here I am with colt bits,” Charis stated. “What do I do with them?” Charis asked.

“Whatever you want, they are yours,” Eris replied. “Gain an understanding of how they work. What they feel like. What it means to have them.”

“Okay,” Charis said in an embarrassed tone of voice. She wiggled her backside and her new scrotum rocked back and forth like a bell. She reached back there with a forehoof and gently prodded them. “This only leaves me with more questions,” she said as she touched herself again.

“What sort of questions?” Discord asked. He seemed totally unconcerned about his student playing with her new anatomy.

“Well, I was born female and now I have male parts. Should I be attracted to males or females? What if I am attracted to colts even though I have colt bits? Does that make me gay? What if I tried to do something with a filly, and discovered I liked fillies, and then go back to my filly form… will I still like fillies? What does gender mean anyway? If I have changed certain bits of flesh on my body, does it change who and what I really am on the inside?” mused Charis in a long winded fashion.

Discord stroked his chin but seemed to lack a reply.

“I have changed on the outside, how am I supposed to feel on the inside? That hasn’t changed. Colts just confuse me and I don’t know how I feel about fillies. I am not sure I want anything to do with either. So… now that I have this, what do I do with it? All it it does is cause questions. Why would anypony change their gender… I know that some do… I just don’t understand why,” Charis said as she lifted her head and looked at Eris and Discord.

“When a sapient being changes their gender it is usually so their outside matches how they feel on the inside,” Eris answered patiently.

“Gender confusion is one of the many forms of chaos,” Discord said in an alluring low voice as he looked at Eris.

“I am still not sure I understand any of this,” Charis said in a mystified voice.

“Maybe it would be better to simply enjoy it for what it is, and then when you are older, look back upon it and reflect upon it with the wisdom that comes from age,” Eris suggested.

“I’d like to go for a walk around Ponyville to see how ponies might react to me but Ponyville is kind of burning right now,” Charis said regretfully. “So in your reality, the genders are all reversed. What is Solaris like? Is he like Celestia?” Charis inquired.

“Prince Solarus is a chauvinistic pig. Mares are property under his rule. He is sorta benevolent all things considered, there are far worse monarchs to be female under, but mares do not have much in the way of rights. I was frozen in a block of ice when I led a revolt. I commanded a group of angry mares that wanted equal rights and I was subdued by the Elements of Traditional Values,” Eris explained.

“That’s awful,” Charis muttered.

“Indeed,” Discord said. “The Elements of Traditional Values are really horrible things.”

“Prince Dusk Shine mastered the hidden element of Masculinity and things have been a little worse lately,” Eris said.

“This is horrible!” Charis snapped.

“I don’t know. Butterscotch isn’t so bad. He is so kind and sweet. He isn’t quite like the others. He works to redeem me, and I work to corrupt him. He wants so badly to please me. It isn’t his fault that he was born into a society that expects him to play very different role,” Eris said.

“It all seems so overwhelming,” Charis said.

“What does?” Discord asked.

“You get born into the world. You end up either male or female and everything that goes with that. And then society expects you to be a certain way so that your behaviour matches some bit of flesh that is part of your body. And if the way that you behave doesn’t match with the bits of flesh you were born with, all manner of problems arise. And I don’t understand any of it,” Charis replied. “I feel sorry for Butterscotch,” she stated.

“Butterscotch was born into a society that subjugates females. I’ve actually helped him to do what his society expects him to do. I have in my own way let him know that is okay for him to dominate me. And he feels more like a stallion for having done so. He loves me a great deal. And now, he has value and worth for fitting in with some great societal ideal that he feels the need to conform to. But I have also perverted his society’s ideals. We use a safe word. Our encounters are done more in play. They feel real enough to Butterscotch and together we perpetuate the illusion of my redemption. He loves me. He holds onto an ideal of love that is almost completely alien to the culture that he lives in,” Eris elucidated.

Charis heaved a sigh. “I don’t understand,” she said. “I want to though,” she added. “I don’t see how being born with one type of fleshy bit or another somehow gives you an inherent right to have authority over another different fleshy bit. I don’t see how being born with two balls somehow makes you any better or any worse than being born with no balls,” Charis stated.

Discord grinned lewdly. “It is all about having those balls slap up against the right bits. Having needs. Finding a means to relieve those itches takes effort. But if you can subjugate another and keep them willing to serve you and relieve those itches, it becomes so much easier,” he quipped.

“Otherwise it means having to work to build a relationship. With love and trust. That takes effort. For many, it is far easier to dominate and force another to simply serve your needs,” Eris continued, picking up where Discord left off. “Females do it too. We need it just as bad as males do. In different parts of the world or different parts of reality, you will find that the balance of power shifts from side to side.”

“So by changing my genitals I could move myself into power. Is that why some people alter their fleshy bits? They get tired of being on the losing side?” Charis asked.

“I suppose that some might, but there are some difficulties in the transition. Sapient beings are bound to find out that somebody is changing their gender. Biases erupt. You end up with a transitioned gender that gets no respect from either side and they become disenfranchised,” Eris replied.

“So even if you change your gender, sometimes you still can’t win. Can it really be that simple? A simple bit of chance… luck at being born with the right fleshy bits?” Charis muttered. “So I have two testicles and a penis now. What good will they do me? Ponies who know me will know I was born female. Other than my outsides, what has really been changed about me?” Charis asked.

“Honestly, not much at all, at least on the outside,” Discord replied. “But on the inside, you’ve become aware of a number of new concepts.”

“If anything I just feel more confused,” Charis admitted. “Perhaps that is the enlightenment I am seeking. I suppose something has gone right now that I am asking questions. Nothing seems simple anymore. And everything seems terribly unfair.”

“That is because it is,” Eris and Discord said together in unison.

Author's Note

Gender chaos.

I finally got around to editing this and finishing it off. It's been sitting around for a while. I am starting to get my creative batteries charged again.

Lemme know if there are any sopyt.