One day a horny stallion stuck his penis in a blender, and his name was Penis Dusk. Now, Penis Dusk wasn’t the most intelligent stallion around. He went to school as a colt, but never really found any point in it. All those numbers and facts were daunting to Penis, and he was never really inspired. However, early on in life he found his calling. Some might find it disgusting, revolting, or just plain hilarious, but he decided to be a porn star. Now, this destiny he chose for himself might not have been so awkward, but his cutie mark emphasized its bizarreness. The cutie mark portrayed a stallion’s penis hard and mighty, penetrating a mares spinal column, showing the hardness and girth. Secretly, Penis Dusk was proud of his destiny, but many other ponies were caught speechless whenever Penis Dusk walked into a room.
Anyway, Penis Dusk woke up one summer day and walked to the shower. He got in, showered, and masturbated like every morning.
“Gotta clear up the pipes,” exclaimed Penis, who then walked out the shower and down the steps into his modestly sized kitchen.
He began making a smoothie. He poured apples into the blender along with peaches and bananas. Suddenly, however, his cat, Pussy, knocked over the blender, which then fell atop Penis Dusk’s massive erection. The blender’s blades rotated, holding tight to his erection. Penis screamed as he felt the blades tear off the top of his skin, and eventually reached the urethra.
Penis ran towards the door out into the open Ponyville air, and bellowed at the top of his lungs: “Somebody, please, help me! My penis has been chopped up in a blender!”
Many looked onward in disgust as Penis Dusk raced through Ponyville, leaving a trail of blood behind. Eventually Penis Dusk reached the castle of Twilight Sparkle, the pony that has been known to help anypony who needs it.
Penis Dusk, still enduring terrible, massive pain in his groin region, rapped loudly on the doors of Twilight's abode: “Hello…anypony there? I’m really hurt!” cried an injured Penis Dusk.
After multiple seconds of yelling and pleading, the door clicked open.
“Ohai, Penis! What can I do for you?” said an oblivious Twilight Sparkle
“My penis has been cut up by a blender! I need a spell or something!” Cried Penis Dusk.
“Well there isn’t a spell that I know that can reverse blender mutilation” replied Twilight “But I do know of something might help deal with the pain.”
“Oh thank Celestia!” Penis said, “I’ll do anything to make this excruciating pain go away. What do I have to do?”
Twilight smirked, she never imagined she would do something like this, but Penis Dusk had a reputation around town for being quite the mare-pleaser. One pony said he even made Penis made her cum in less than forty seconds flat, but Twilight was still skeptical about this story. Twilight turned around, debating whether or not to suggest sex as a remedy. She thought that having sex with her would take his mind of his mutilated member, and perhaps give him pleasure. After all, it’s a once and a lifetime to bang a princess, and, who knows, she might even be doing him a favor.
Twilight turned around and faced Penis Dusk, and began to speak timidly and slowly:
“Umm, well…we could, you know, have sex. It might take your mind off the pain, and might actually help it get better,” Twilight said.
“But it’s all bloody and mashed up.” Replied Penis Dusk.
“Well”, said Twilight, “Lets give it a try anyway.”
