The Days in Life of a Pony who is Less Than Mentally Stable but Still Pretty Insane

by SCP Pinkamena

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Original Character, Comedy, Tragedy, Random
Length: 1348

Strait Jacket isn't your everyday pony. What sets him apart is that not only is he the only adult pony who doesn't have a cutie mark, he's completely insane! Or is there something more hiding in his stark white coat?

"The mentality of one pony is like a flowing river. But also like a river it can be polluted." ~ Starswirl The Bearded

Meet Strait Jacket, an insomniac, maniac, and everything in between that ends in 'iac'. Here, we go about his life. It's as bad as you would think it is.

Published 2014-07-24 02:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-24 02:20:03 UTC

When Life Gives You Lemons...

ATTENTION: PATIENT 3452 HAS ESCAPED... Again...

A deep sigh escaped the guard pony near the door. "So Strait, when you said that they wouldn't notice you were gone, you said this how long ago?"

The pony next to him was shorter than him, but made up for it moving around on magical arms of his own design. "...'Bout 3 seconds ago, why?"

Another sigh. "C'mon, let's get you back to your cell." he said pushing the little weirdo in front of him. Hard Track was not happy, and the fact that Strait Jacket, the resident loony in the entire mental-ward, had taken a liking to him made it worse.

"Awww! But why?? Whose to say that I can't hang out with you?" In response, Hard Track pointed to his left showing a small platoon of doctors, nurses, two or three guards, and for whatever reason a potted plant with a necklace around its stem. "Oh... They do..." Strait said, his ears folding against his head. "Now, now... There's no reason we can't be civil...?"

Shortly afterwards, Strait Jacket was carted off to his cell and the door was locked, thoroughly. A doctor sighed and looked at his nurse. "If he wasn't like this, he could be considered to be the strongest unicorn this side of Equestria. When he first came, his magic level were on par with Twilight Sparkle's, but since he's like this, he can only tap into a small reserve, and that's if he's lucky enough to focus."

"He seems to be focusing so far." The nurse said.

"It'll pass... Come on, lets get lunch."

"Oh! Can you get me those little chocolate balls they always have! Make sure it's white chocolate this time!" Strait yelled from his cell. The doctor and nurse winced, and they both nodded their heads. For reasons unknown, when Strait Jacket got uppity, only white chocolate calmed him down. The only problem being that white chocolate didn't exist in Equestria, only the Minotaur country of Minos. So it costs the hospital a pretty penny to get them shipped all the way from Minos, but it was well worth it in the end because during one of his outbursts, he sent a stallion in the hospital...

He licked his fur clean off. The only reason why the stallion went to the hospital is because he claimed, he claimed that his "pride had been broken." which a doctor mistook for: "My hind-end is broken." Needless to say that broken his pride even more.

Strait sat on his cell, his visions carting his psyche down farther into the abyss. "I just can't keep hanging on..." He started to sing, "To you and me..." He heard a sudden bang from his cell door, and saw Hard Track. The ponies here never liked him, being the only pony in the mental ward of the hospital did that to you. Something that he did not understand. He saw ponies everyday walking outside with coats on, so why couldn't he?

SONG: With You and Me

I sit here on my golden throne, sitting for eternity.
I stand here in my grandeured hall, with no company.
I just want to know what's on the outside, I just want to go and be free...
I just wanna be there...
With you and me...
With you and me~
Together, you and me...

I stand alone in my kingdom here.
With a hint of tenacity.
I walk along in the empty hall.
Filled with nothing but animosity
I just want to know what's on the outside, I just want to go and be free...
I just wanna be there...
With you and me...
With you and me~
Together, you and me...

I see your face here,
Every time I look in the mirror.

I hear voice call,
Whenever I'm locked in the slammer.

I want to know what it's like out there, I just want to know how to be free...
With you and me...
With you and me~
Together, you and me...

He heard a sniffle outside of his cell door. "Track? Are you crying?"

"No! I... just got a cold is all..." He said outside of the door. Strait looked up from his sitting position and gave small smile before letting his magic arm pat Hard Track on the back.

"It's okay Track, I wont tell anyone." He felt the hoof of the guard pony, but to him it felt like the hoof of a child. After he muttered a quick thanks, Track heard the main doors open.

"Hello, and welcome to the-- Oh! Your Highness, I wasn't expecting to you see you in... What? There's only a pony here ma'am, he's... a special case I guess you could say, but-- You heard that?" Strait was having trouble hearing the other voice Hard Track was talking to, but it was defiantly female. Your Highness, a princess? A queen? The locks on the door suddenly sprang open as Hard Track looked at the little maniac.

"It's your lucky day, Strait Jacket. Apparently, the newest princess heard your little song..." He said, making the restrained pony blush. He turned his attention to the newest occupant in his cell. A beautiful lavender mare, with a dark purple mane and tail with a pink highlight in both stood before him. Seeing both wings and horn, his magic arms rose him up, and let him dip down as far as they would go.

"Your Grace... I cannot see why you would come here to me at such time, surely there must be something for you to be better off doing?" He said in seriousness. That scared a lot of the staff too. He was always known for being quirky, silly, downright insane, yet there would be times where all of that goes away, and he starts using bigger words. It unnerves the doctors to no end that someone so insane could actually become sane again for a short while.

"Surely, there must be something better to do than concern yourself over one mentally deranged pony...?" He said, his voice dropping a few octaves, and he slithered up to her and giving her a serpent's smile. Before she could give her say in, he cut her off and continued. "Surely... anything better?" His magic arm took a more hydra like look as they wrapped around him, crying out like a lost hatchling.

Princess Twilight was stunned by the display of his magical hydra heads. All a better reason, She thought to herself. "Well, Strait Jacket was it?" At his nod, she continued. "I heard your song from outside and... It sounded like you didn't have a single friend."

"'Not a single friend?!' Ha! Look around, they're everywhere!" He barked as the hydra heads reverted and swept across the room. "Look! There's Skyla, Nyx, Aurora, my wi--" He stopped suddenly and his magic fizzled out as he lost focus. He shuddered violently and looked at Twilight with a hopeful stare. "My wife... What happened to my wife?" He said as he went cock-eyed. He began to giggle, then turn into a full blown laugh.

Hard Track quickly ushered the princess out of the cell before locking it firmly and covering his ears. She covered her ears too, scared and interested in what was happening. Then she heard it. A high pitched scream that could be barely picked up by her own ears. Still holding her ears down, she took a peek inside of his cell. He saw him sitting on the ground as his magic tentacles flung about the room smashing everything from his bed to the windows. Her eyes widened as one of the tendrils came bolting for the door and abruptly stopped.

Despite the tears in his eyes, he never blinked and his eyes never left her form. The tendril began degrading and he spoke only one name.

"Azure...?"

With that, his magic fizzled completely and he fell unconscious to the padded floor.

Author's Note

A snake is a serpent that appears to be smiling or grinning.