The Adventures of Trenderhoof

by polishgirl

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Trenderhoof, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6931

A collection of the nerdy adventures of a traveling writer and photographer.

The story of a traveling writer starting from when he was a colt. You'll learn everything you ever wanted to know about the history of Equestria from the eyes of this pony.
Rated teen for some profanity, suggestive themes, and very mild gore.

**STORY IS CURRENTLY UNDER RE-CONSTRUCTION.

Published 2014-06-11 21:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-20 09:45:31 UTC

The Crystal Kingdom

My name is Trenderhoof, and let me tell you a little bit about myself. I’ve seen everyplace, from the frozen north, to the badlands, everypony, and every event, From King Sombra’s coronation, to Princess Twilight’s. How is that possible, you ask? Simple my dear. TIME TRAVEL!!! No, not possible, you say? How about PSYCHIC POWERS!!!? Even less possible? Tell you what, I’ll just start at the beginning, and I’ll let you make your own conclusions, leaving you with this last sentiment; Time Turner and I are good friends.

I was just starting out, barely a colt, when I seen him. He streaked across the sky on a blackened chariot followed by asteroids. What was he? He couldn’t have been a shooting star, he was obviously a pony, and not a rock. Yet, he was followed by asteroids… Was he a god? He didn’t crash land, so he can’t have been an alien, that just doesn’t make any stereotypical sense. He continued on his seemingly not-so-merry way through the sky and disappeared far to the north. So, I decided to follow him, armed with my brand new birthday camera, and my wits. I met very few ponies along the way, and even fewer creatures. I took great care to avoid staying out at night. Taking shelter in whatever cave I could find, or hole that I could dig. Lest the pony-dactyls get me. Or even, the P-Rex.

Eventually, after many, many holes and caves, and very few ferns at colt height, I made it to a strange land. One filled with rock. But it was shiny and clear like jewelry. What could it be? Every part of this odd place was made of this odd jewelry. Even the ferns, and ponysaurs were made of them. It was nearing night when I reached this strange place, so I took shelter in a cave. However, I wasn’t entirely alone. From behind me came the growling of some strange feral creature. I took off at a dead sprint screaming for my life. Only to find out that the terror following me was a small unicorn with the most luminous sunshine yellow eyes, mane and coat. Also, made of rock. She says to me,

“OH! I thought you were a predator. Please, come in.”

Unable to speak with her beauty blinding me, I nod, and follow her back inside the cave. Now that she’s no longer hiding her luminescence, I see the cave has been painted with many drawings that seem to depict a story. I’ve nearly worked up the nerve to ask her about them when she says,

“Why don’t you look like me?”

“Like you? You mean made of rock?”

“Made of rock? What an absurd notion! Of course coming from a pony who looks like you, I would expect nothing else. I am a crystal pony, from the mighty Crystal Kingdom.”

“Crystal Kingdom? I’ve never heard of it before, is that where I am?”

“Of course, unless you would prefer to call it ‘The Rock Kingdom’ which is simply absurd seeing as rocks are flat gray boring objects, while crystals are beautiful shining items of pure value. Now that you’ve avoided the question, I shall ask again. Why aren’t you made of crystal like everypony else?”

“Where I come from nopony is made of crystal, but of flesh like me.”

“And where is that, may I ask?”

`“To the south, where the forests meet the rivers, and ponysaurs fear to tread. The small encampment that we have, we call it Ponyville, seeing as few other creatures inhabit it.”

Before she could ask any more silly questions, and insult me more, the chariot I had seen earlier rode past being propelled by seemingly nothing other than the unicorn riding it. He was a young stallion, with a charcoal gray coat, black mane, and red eyes.

“Er, what was your name again?” I asked of the luminescent pony.

“Sunburst, daughter of nopony, and inhabitant of this cave.” She responded.

“Yes, well, I’m Trenderhoof, son of my parents, and inhabitant, of well, I suppose this cave. Who was the pony that rode by here?”

“Prince Sombra, future ruler of the Crystal Kingdom. He isn’t very nice, so don’t crawl in his cave expecting to not get eaten.”

We spent about a week in that cave. Eating rocks. She eventually did explain to me the drawings on the walls. She told me they were her family history. All up to a couple months ago when Prince Sombra killed her parents. She said he killed them for voicing their opinion against his right to rule. They felt he was nothing like his kind hearted father, and didn’t deserve to sit in the royal throne. He used his horn to do it she said. She spoke little after that. She offered to take me into town one morning, so we went. It was a strange little bazaar that we visited, full of more of these ‘crystal ponies’ and rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. Sweet rocks, salty rocks, rock seeds even. Any kind of rock you needed, they had it. We even seen the king. He was a wizened old crystal pony stooped over his throne, waving happily to his subjects. The people seemed to love him, despite their obvious fear of his son. When we returned to our cave, I finally braved a question.

“How long has he been king?” I asked.

“For as long as the Crystal Kingdom has existed,” she said.

Then, after a moment’s thought, continued with,

“Legend holds that there was once a dragon. The dragon was pretty content, he had a nice stash, and nopony bothered him. Occasionally a traveler would come looking for his consul, or to trade treasures with him. However, some of these travelers weren’t so good-intentioned. Three approached him at once, wanting gems in exchange for a stick, a rock, and a cloak. The dragon denied the trade, and they left. That night, while the dragon was sleeping, they came back, and stole the gems they desired. Angered, the dragon breathed fire on the entire frozen north, and instead of melting it, it turned to crystal. He breathed fire for years trying to melt the ice, hoping trap the thieves in mud, but only succeeded in making everything crystal, including the ponies themselves. Defeated, he retired to his cave, (the only place left frozen), and vowed, to any explorers brave enough to handle the cold and his fire breath, he’ll turn them to crystal as well.”

Courage

After this mournful noise came two slightly abnormal noises. One, the sound of my companion crying (it sounded like little tinkling bells), two, the sound of hell and damnation raining from the skies. And for each meteor hitting and scarring the earth came more tinkling bells from behind me. The next morning I asked Sunburst what made her cry so much.

“Because, Trenderhoof, every meteor hitting our beautiful crystal earth is only spreading the evil influence of our new king. Each meteor will bring disease, monsters and famine to the Crystal Empire. That is why I weep, for the death of a great ruler, and a beautiful country.”

“Oh.” I responded lamely.

I suppose I should have figured that out on my own, which wouldn’t have upset her any further, but, oh well. Sometime later magic meteors fell on all the doorsteps (or cavesteps) of the residents. The magic meteors made very clear that we were all to attend the coronation of our future king the next afternoon. And, should we not be there, the consequences would be dire. That night, Sunburst and I had a hard time sleeping due to the crowds of ponies passing our house on their way to the ceremony. So, instead of trying to sleep any longer, we left at dawn, to attend the midday ceremony. (I would like to point out, little ponies, that Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna hadn’t been born yet, and the sun and moon rose and lowered on their own power).

When we got there the scene was horrific. There were already dead ponies on the ground with odd spear-like marks in their bellies. Prince Sombra was sitting on the throne. With one minor change, I might add. Amethyst flame flowed from his eyes. He glared at everypony and when he seen Sunburst weeping, he pounced. Landing where I had been seconds before.

“Why do you weep little one?” He asked in the most evilly sweet voice.

“For the beauty and wonder that is our new kingdom, oh mighty Prince.”

Smooth, I thought. But, I suppose it was to smooth…..

“Then come with me, dearest, for I’m going to make you my personal maid. You shall live in the castle, and clean my quarters, as well as bring my food, and staff my castle. Is there anyone dear to you, you would like to bring along?”

He sure was good at that sweet voice. Lucky for me I got to hear it everyday. For, upon a moment’s thought of the question, she turned to me with a frightened pleading expression in her eyes, and said,

“Him, please sire, he’s my dearest friend, and a will be a great comfort to me as I adjust to castle life.”

“Very well. Up to the castle immediately. Fire all staff, and hire new. I want my dinner by six, cooked by the new cook, and all the staff changes made by the next morning. I will be eating in the grand hall, with all the lords and ladies of this kingdom.”

“Yes, your highness” she responded with a slight bow.

“ARE YOU STILL STANDING THERE!!!???”

With that she scampered off, towing me along. Everyday it was the same routine. As long as I was up before the new King, and stayed out his way, I could stay. Every morning he would get up at the same time ordering his breakfast, and telling Sunburst to fire, (and I do mean burn), anypony still in their quarters. Lucky for me I was already an early riser, but, this happy little charade wasn’t going to last for long. Because Sunburst had grown even prettier in her time serving our lord, and despite missing everything else, he hadn’t missed that. He would ask her every morning to marry her, and she would restpectfully say,

“Not today, my lord, there is still much to be done.”

This response seemed to be the only thing he had patience for, seeing as most everypony who came to ask the king for something was murdered. Brutally. And not by magic. As more time passed, I noticed the whites of his eyes becoming green, and his horn stained from the blood of many ponies. His teeth became sharper, and he stopped requesting cooked vegetables, but instead requested the raw meat of those he murdered. And Sunburst dutifully brought it to him. Three times a day, every day. However, nothing ever stays the same at Castle Sombra. It came the day, when Sunburst could be called a mare, and one of extreme beauty, even by crystal pony standards, when we had a visitor. He came from a small village by Neighagra Falls. He was the son of the lord of that estate, and came to wish our king, who by now had a very sinister appearance, a happy birthday. He was a flesh and bone, not rock, pegasi with midnight blue coat mane and eyes. He would stay for a week to honor the kings birthday, and nothing more. The following night Sunburst visited me in my chambers, telling me she was leaving. She was going to flee to Neighagra Falls, so when this mysterious pony returned, she could meet him there, and ask him to marry her. She was desperately in love with him and asked me to go with her, to spare me the horrors of being murdered by King Sombra.

“Do come with me Trend, won’t you please? You can help me find the way, and pose as my brother when I ask his father to join the household.”

“But what of King Sombra, won’t he be upset when he loses his favorite maid, and future queen? Besides, I couldn’t pose as your brother, I’m not made of crystal like you.”

She begged, and begged, and after day two of begging, I finally relented under the condition she disguise herself as a blind flesh and blood pony. She eagerly agreed, and began making the plans for our trip. My job was to get the name of our guest, so when we made it to his village, we could request his father, and sound more informed than we were. I learned his name from a cleaning pony, his name was Moonlight.

Marriage?

Sometime in the night she had come back, and when I woke she was sleeping next to me. So I went out to collect some firewood. Today seemed destined to be interesting. The first snowfall, the return of Sunburst, without Moonlight. So, I collected what would be the last of the firewood for the season, and came back to find my friend making breakfast.

“Sit. I’ve made you food.”

“Yes ma’am. What’s on your mind, you’re never this gloomy.”

“I told Moonlight to marry her. I told him it would be the best option for our situation, especially since I’m a wanted pony.”

I didn’t believe her. Not for a moment. Firstly, she looked too much like a mare with a plan. Secondly, she’s too stubborn to just give up like that. Moonlight still visited. More often even. Three times a week, he would come religiously. Bringing something for her. All these gifts were making Sunburst gain weight. Would he love her when she was bigger than our cave? Although, I must admit, a couple extra pounds on Sunburst really helped her face. It was rounder and even prettier. He came on one of the days bringing a wedding invitation for the both of us. He usually ignored me, but who was I to turn down free food? After he left she told me she wasn’t going.

“Why not? Isn’t he the love of your life? Wouldn’t you want to be there to support him on his wedding day?”

“No, his wife is perfectly awful. He’s told me about her. She’s horrible. She only speaks when spoken to, and does chores all day. She refuses to hire help, stating that help is for royalty. She is a good cook, but there won’t be any mouths to feed, seeing as she refuses to lie with him. So, being a good cook is pointless. She visits her father every Sunday. No matter what. She won’t tell him why she does, but she does. He’s even planned out the most beautiful wedding. Canopies covered in flowers, white doves, the whole bit. She says it costs too much, and, if this wasn’t an arranged marriage, she never would have agreed to marry such a frivolous pony.”

“Wow.”

After SOOOOOOO many arguments going like this, I did convince her to go. She decided to go without wearing any finery, stating that she’d spent all her time arguing, and she wouldn’t have time to make finery for a mare her size. I was sporting a mustache, to aid in trying to disguise myself. Most everypony assumed us dead anyway, so going to a venue where we weren’t the main attraction would be a good bet. Especially if she would follow the plan. I told her to sit on the other side of the room, like we didn’t know each other. That way, if somepony did recognize us, they would doubt themselves, since we weren’t sitting at the same table. But no, she’s very nearly attached to my leg like a filly. I sat her next a very nice looking lady with an apple on her flank, and they fell to talking immediately. I sat next to a gruff looking pony with a tree on his flank. Lucky for me, he didn’t talk much.

The ceremony was starting! Moonlight was standing at the front in a most dashing outfit. Even the pastor looked good. I had to admit, he had style. The wedding march filled the air, and in came the bride. (I never bothered learning her name.) She was dressed in a new styled veil and cape. And she looked good. Everything looked good. Does this guy ever make a mistake?

“Before these two say the final, binding vows, does anypony have any reason these two should not be wed? Speak now, or forever hold your peace.”

A moment goes by, the pastor turns back to his book.

“I have a reason!”

Oh no. Oh no…. Oh no no no no no. NO. This can NOT be happening. It’s Sunburst. Trotting to the front. Doesn’t she know that she can just stand in the back?

“I’m sorry to ruin a beautiful wedding, but, everypony.”

Long pause

“I’m pregnant.”

“Sweet girl, that’s wonderful, but what does that have to do with the wedding of these two?”

“Because, the baby I carry inside me, belongs to Moonlight. He would come and visit me atleast once a week. He is the love of my life. And when he told me he was marrying her, I seduced him. No magic, I promise. Just love, for the most wonderful pony I have ever met.”

“Oh, I see. That would put a damper on this wedding, and now, by the laws of common decency, and sense, you should be his bride. But, is his current bride pregnant?”

“No, pastor, she is not. No matter how many times I wished to discuss children with her, she would answer ‘I refuse to lie with frivolous ponies’. So no, she is not pregnant by my hand.”

“Very well, girl what is your name?”

“Sunburst.”

“Sunburst, will you step up here please?”

“Don’t I need some sort of veil?”

“No. that’s only a custom of the locals. In the eyes of the lord, if you’re willing to take on this promise, he does not care what you wear.”

Even unveiled and pregnant she was beautiful standing there with Moonlight. Anyone could see they belonged together. Especially since they weren’t distracted by the other mare. She walked out without a tear or harsh word. They married, and the doves were released as planned, right at sunset. It was extremely beautiful, and whatever that other mare had stuck in her flank can stay there. She missed out on a great guy. They rode off in a chariot pulled by great white steeds, they went to his home instead of on a honeymoon, which was a modification on the original plan. The steeds looked much happier when Moonlight spoke to them. I would imagine the Sunburst weighs just a smidge more than the other pony. Off they went. And I retired to our cave. With the apple pony.

Author's Note

If you're wondering why nopony attacked her when she gave her name, it's because King Sombra wasn't smart enough to put our names on the bounty posters. They only had our visual description. And, like I said, everypony thought we were dead.

Las Pegasus

I visited Sunburst and Moonlight often. About once a week. Their new daughter was beautiful. (I did bother to learn her name, but I won’t tell you her name. not just yet.) She was an earth pony. Luminous like her mom, but solid like her dad and me. She had a pearl white coat, sea foam green mane, and amethyst eyes. Those two ponies were the proudest parents I’ve ever seen. The little one could read and write already despite being only about six months old, and was getting ready to go to school. They said since this little one was such a cinch, they were thinking about another one. Neither had heard from the other mare Moonlight was going to marry, so that was good.

I decided to go on another adventure once I was sure Sunburst was fine. So, I went and seen the Crystal Empire. It was a disaster. King Sombra’s eyes were now green with red irises, and had a purple miasma surrounding it. His horn, now longer and completely stained with blood, crackled with a black electricity. When I seen him he was standing on the balcony of his castle. The same place where I seen his father, it was a startling contrast, and made me rethink Sunburst’s suddenly very rational fear. It didn’t take me long to realize I didn’t want to be here. So, I decided to visit dear old mom and dad, and then I was on my way to Las Pegasus.

Mom and Dad were thrilled to see me, they remarked on how much I’ve grown, and how handsome I was. They asked if I had a wife, kids, anything. No, I didn’t have any of that, and that was ok with me. They weren’t okay with it, but they’ll live. They asked about my camera, and of course, I had to tell them I forgot it. A long time ago in the crystal kingdom. They were sad about that, but it only unleashed MANY MANY more questions about the crystal kingdom. I answered them as best I could. Even the ones about King Sombra and his dad. They had a bit of information for me too. Apparently they found out about the old king's death. They told me that every church bell in the kingdom tolled five times. A beat for each century he was king. I layed over at my parents house for about a week. They fed me well. Better than when I was a kid. Then off I went.

Las Pegasus, here I come! Free, and 21(ish)! I had two ways I could get there. Through the Everfree forest, and the Ghastly Gorge, or by boat. I think, since I’m not a pegasus, and the Everfree forest is far from being free from monsters, the answer is obvious. Boat it is. When I arrived at the docks I again, had options. Steam, or row. I don’t know about you, but I am NOT rowing all the way to Las Pegasus. Especially by myself. The steamer was nice. Filled with all sorts of modern day fancy things. A nice little tavern, sleeping bunks, a chef. The works. My ticket was inexpensive, all I had to do was swab the deck. I know, the ship sounds like a pirate ship, but it wasn’t. You could clean part of the ship, or pay for a ticket. I’m cheap, have no money, and even if I did, I wouldn’t have anything better to do. So, cleaning and cleaning, and a little more cleaning is all I did. Well, maybe not ALL. I did see several lovely mares who came to visit me, and listened. Lots of listening…. I heard LOTS of interesting things. Who was with who, and who was plotting against who… Like I said, LOTS of interesting things. I was beginning to think that riding on this ship was a very bad idea, and might be a pirate ship after all.

By the time we reached Las Pegasus two assassinations had been avoided, apparently the captain was an important, and wealthy man, who many people wanted dead. Only three sailors died, and the deck was perfectly clean no matter how much blood seemed to accumulate. It certainly gave you a strong stomach. The view of Las Pegasus was like nothing I had ever seen, beautiful ponies in costume dancing along every sidewalk and terrace, buildings shaped like famous landmarks, and signs pointing in every direction, in almost every language you could imagine. I spoke Equestrian (now ‘Old Equestrian’) so I followed those. I’d hate to find out what lay in the other directions. I’d seen some pretty shady looking ponies, and I didn’t want to end up like the sailors on my ship. Since I’d made it to one of the biggest cities in the world, and still had no money, I decided to get a job. I worked at the Casino Royale, a simple enough place. I counted bits in the machines. Which kept me busy enough at night, and it meant I didn’t need to deal with the ponies playing the games during the day.

I made seven bits a night working there, which wasn’t bad wage at the time. I found a nice little halfway house, with the sweetest old pony, who made some divine pies. She kept me fed, and kept my room clean, which was enough for me. She also never asked questions when costumed mares followed me home. Eventually I saved up enough to take a pegasus express back to Neighagra Falls to see my favorite pony, and her lover. So, through my lovely old lady caretaker, I arranged for my room to be rented out while I was gone, and I made my way to the landing strip. I was scheduled to fly with a sky blue pegasus named Cloudburst. She was friendly, and quite competitive. She seemed to always be ready for a race, and dared anyone who came near her to race. Nopony ever accepted since she always won. My flight to Neighagra Falls was enjoyable, Cloudburst kept up polite conversation. She even told me a little bit about the area, and her home, Cloudsdale. The carriage I rode in was nice, and quite comfortable. When we landed I thanked Cloudburst for carrying me all that way, and even gave her a tip. On my way to Sunburst’s place I seen the most peculiar pony. A bit small to be running around on her own, she was midnight blue, with the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen.

Author's Note

If you did not know, a pegasus express is where you ride in a carriage flown by a pegasus. It's quite popular with unicorns and earth ponies, and is a little bit faster than boat.

My Second Home

After sensing this was a filly I was destined to meet regardless of how much she ran around without parents, I asked her where her home was.

“Mama says I’m not to talk to strange ponies.”

“Very well then, I shall meet you another time, milady.”

She stuck her tongue out and ran away, the little brat. If she was who I thought she was, I was going to have to have a talk with her mother. Who, after a slight searching in the now rather large Neighagra Falls, I found. Still in the same house behind the inn. (In case you were wondering how we transitioned from caves to houses and inns, when I first started out, houses were slowly coming about, and now were a relatively common practice after the 20 some years I’ve spent away from home.) Sunburst was still a bit chubby, and Moonlight was as handsome as ever. His pale blue mane was now streaked with hints of silver, making his name even more relevant. When he seen me he absolutely beamed with joy, making me glad I came.

“Trenderhoof, dear friend, how glad I am to see you!” he exclaimed while embracing me.

“Moonlight, I’m glad you’re well!

“Come in, come in, Sunburst will be thrilled to see you. And you can meet our newest little one. What have you been doing since we last saw you?”

Before I even had a chance to answer his question Sunburst waddled her way over, joy and irritation making itself very prominent on her features.

“Dear friend, why haven’t we seen you? Why don’t you come over more often? You had me worried sick. I didn’t know if you died, lived next door, had a family, or maybe was a dragon hunter perhaps? Maybe you took an arrow to the knee and couldn’t walk any more, and was forced to be a guard? How was I supposed to know where you were, what you were doing, or how you were doing any of that, if you don’t visit, or write?

“How were the girls supposed to know who their Uncle Trenderhoof was without ever meeting them? Who would they know to go to for an interesting story if you never communicate with us? Well, answer me!” All of this was exclaimed with the air of an unhappy, but loving grandmother.

Had I not been in trouble, it would have been hilarious to see her acting like that. Instead of actually answering every single one of those questions I hugged her. She looked like she needed one, and if she got any bigger, I wouldn’t be able to hug her.

“Dear Trenderhoof, how I have missed you. You really must visit more often.” She told me.

“Yes mama. Moonlight, you wanted to know what I’ve been doing?” I never could help patronizing Sunburst. It was just to much fun.

“Oh, yes, let me gather the girls, then you can begin your tale.” Moonlight said while walking out.

With the pearl daughter, and of course, the little brat, gathered, I began my tale. Of how I swabbed the deck of a pirate ship, went whale hunting, and then seen Las Pegasus where I danced onstage with the other performers. The girls seemed to enjoy my tale immensely, and went to bed without argument.

“Tell us what really happened, please? I know better than to believe you went whale hunting.” Sunburst teased.

“Oh, but you believe me to be a pirate? And a dancer?”

“Well of course, that’s why you’ve been gone so long, isn’t it? You could very easily be a dancer, you have very long, graceful legs. “ Sunburst responded.

I told them what I’ve been doing, right down to the part about the assassinations. I may have skipped how much the dancers like me though. I don’t think they need, or want to know that. Both were thrilled to hear that I wasn’t living in the street, and even had a nice caretaker. We headed off to bed after the stories were exchanged. They named the little brat Luminescence and the older was Sunlight. Sunburst was pregnant with a third one, which explained her size. They gave me a nice little room on the far end of the house by the kitchen, it was a very toasty, and I slept well.

The next morning I woke to two pairs of bright eyes watching me,

“Yes?” I asked with a hint of suspicion.

“Uncle Trend, will you tell us a story??? Pweeeeaasseeee?” The fillies asked in unison.

“Well, girls, I don’t know if I have any more stories to tell. Why don’t you ask me again later?”

The girls slunk away looking like they had their favorite toy destroyed in front of them. But oh well, a little disappointment goes a long way. I decided to make my way to the kitchen. I was met by the maid.

“Good morning sir, did you sleep well?”

“Yes, actually, I did. The room was wonderful. Thank you.”

“Good, good, would you like breakfast? On the menu today is grass pancakes, and hard apple cider”

“That sounds lovely.”

“I shall call you when it’s done sir.”

“Thank you.”

A guy could get use to this. A nice, and even kind of pretty maid in the kitchen, making me food. Automatically. She probably made the beds too. I wonder what Moonlight is paying her? I made my way outside to simply sit. It’s one of my favorite things to do in the morning. I find it refreshing, and not overly taxing. I found I wasn’t alone in this feeling. Moonlight was out there too.

“Ah, I see you have awoken. Did you enjoy your room?”

“Yes, it was quite comfortable.”

“Good. Good. I think Sunburst wants to talk to you. We received a letter some time ago for you. At first we couldn’t understand why it was sent here, and then we read it. If you’re upset, I’m sorry, we were just concerned. I promise the girls don’t know about the letter, and we haven’t told anyone else the contents. “

“What did it say?”

“I think you had better read it for yourself.”

With that, he got up, and was quickly replaced by the maid, who was telling me my breakfast was ready, and madam Sunburst was awaiting my company in the kitchen. So, off to the kitchen I went, with my fate in the hands of the gods.

Apples

22 Cliff Rock Road

Manehattan, Equestria

Dearest Trenderhoof,
I sincerely hope you are well. It would prove most beneficial, to both of us, that you are well, and not less than so. I also sincerely hope you remember me. We met only briefly, and while I’m certain our meeting had very little effect on you, it changed my life forever. No, I’m not obsessed with you or anything, I’m perfectly sane. Although, what I would ask of you may sound insane in a letter, but so be it. I would like your hoof in marriage. We have a child Trenderhoof. He’s a beautiful boy named Prairie Tune. He has your eyes Trenderhoof. And my smile. But he’s no good on the farm. He’s not an apple pony. He really isn’t. He tries his best to buck apples, but he simply is bad at it. He is, however simply excellent at playing the banjo, and even earned his cutie mark for it. He’s a wonderful boy, almost man. And he needs a father. Not one picked off the street at random, his real father. That’s why I ask you to marry me. It would also help us greatly if you could provide a little extra income. Or prove your worth doing farm chores. But, judging by the way Prairie works the farm, I don’t think you’ll be very good at it either. I gave this letter to Moonlight because he’s my cousin. I knew he would understand, and I knew that the mare he married was close to you. And you were bound to see her again sometime. I’m not impatient, but I would love to hear from you soon. And even if we don’t get married, at least there will be somepony there to show Prairie how to be a man. So, please Trenderhoof, at least come visit for a while. It would really be appreciated.
Sincerely yours,

Apples

I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I had a son? With somepony named Apples? I think she’s pulling my leg. Besides, nopony in my family can play an instrument. We’re all writers and storytellers. None of this makes sense, and I don’t appreciate her sending me a false letter. I wonder what Moonlight and Sunburst think of this.

“Are you going to eat this morning, or continue sitting there looking perplexed?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll be there in a moment Sunburst.”
She walked away, giving me a backwards glance of concern. With that look, I knew what I needed to do.

Author's Note

For those of you wondering why the last part is in italics, it's because the italics part I was intending to make a chapter all its own. However, while writing it, I simply couldn't bring myself to put 600 words worth of filler into it. So, I added it on to the last chapter I had written. enjoy. :)

Tragedy (dum dum dum....)

We left in the dead of night, about 24 hours after I relented. The trip to Neighagra Falls wasn’t very long, and it became longer when I realized I left my camera in the castle. Oh well I suppose. We had very few pursuers, and several strange ponies asking me about the whereabouts of Sunburst. We’ve decided to call her Dust, seeing as her whole body now resembles dirt. When we got there we discovered the whole town in chaos, and it was only by lucky chance that the inn was saved from somepony’s oddly familiar fiery wrath. So, we booked a room and was introduced to the lord we wished to meet. He was the innkeeper. He gave us our rooms for free. He sat with us at dinner and asked us if we had any news from the Crystal Kingdom about his son, Moonlight.

“The boy is always getting himself into trouble” he informed us. “I warned him not to go, but he was insistent that if we played nice to the new king, he would honor us with gifts, or maybe soldiers to protect us from the woods.”

At this point, Sunburst (Dust) and had enough of the man’s ignorance.

“King Sombra, is a horrible, horrible evil man, who undoubtedly sent his fiery wrath on your village because your son dared visit. He made me serve him from the time I was a colt, until just recently. I had to bring him his meals, no matter how gruesome they were, constantly reject his marriage proposals, constantly rehire staff, because he would murder the old ones. Nopony survives Castle Sombra. Except maybe me and Trend, but we snuck out. So, we don’t count.”

This was our “Oh, shit” moment. Sunbursts eyes had begun to glow with that unearthly beauty of hers, and the dirt we used to disguise her, wasn’t enough to stop the light shining from her coat and mane. The innkeeper only stared with wide eyes as he realized who we really were. He managed to stammer out a couple things, among which I caught, ‘no, no, no, not you two’ and ‘I’ll be tried for treason’. After those, we realized he wasn’t going to hide us, so, we ran, full till into the hills surrounding the area. We took refuge in, you guessed it, another cave. Not filled with rocks this time though. We watched the village from the hills and seen moonlight come home, looking battle worn, but safe. Poor Sunburst nearly fainted when he came home, she’d almost wore a path in the dirt from her pacing.

Moonlight went straight to the inn we stayed at, and shortly after came out carrying a small satchel, and pulling a cart. He continued along the road heading towards the hills with these items, and dropped the cart at the end of the road into the hills. He then continued on foot, he was searching for something, for what, we didn’t know, but we didn’t want to find out, so every night one of us would keep watch, while the other slept. Every other day we would cast spells to muffle our movements, and keep the cave invisible from everypony. Animals wouldn’t even come near our cave. Lucky for us it was early summer, and there was plenty of non-rock vegetation to eat. But all was not well in our private kingdom. Sunburst was restless with love for her Moonlight, and eagerly watched for him, hoping he would find us despite the spells we cast.

The time passed where he seemed to give up his fruitless search, but did continue to visit the hills every Sunday. It was getting colder in the hills, and we decided to start stocking up on firewood and food for the coming winter. It was this idea that doomed us. Sunburst was out collecting things when he visited on a Wednesday. They seen each other and fell in love. Completely, irrevocably, heart-stopping, doe-eyed love. They shared the sweetest kiss I’ve ever seen.
After said kiss, she brought him to our cave, to meet me. As I’m sure you’re aware, there’s something suspicious about a mare and a stallion sharing a cave, which was something he hadn't missed.

“Avast, fair gentlepony, but this is my lady now, and if anything unsavory has happened, I demand to know of it at once!”

“Relax, Moonlight, I am Trenderhoof, no, I have nothing but sibling love for the beautiful Sunburst. I have protected, fed, and cared for your lady, in a way befitting her older brother, and I am content to be in that position.”
Living with Sunburst after those two found each other was horrible. When he was there ‘searching’, for us on orders from his father, they were lovey-dovey and gross. Sweet, but gross. When he left, she was ever so depressed, miserable, and all around unpleasant. Even her coat would stop glowing when he left. One day when he came to visit Sunburst he told her of his father’s plans for his marriage. He said everything but his answer was arranged, he was to be wed to the daughter of a lord from the south. It was said the daughter was well sought after for her seamstress and culinary skills. Her child-bearing hips were said to be in good order as well. Making her only more valuable. Sunburst looked unhappy at this statement. So, maybe unhappy is an understatement, but it’s a good start. She slunk her way out of the cave with the most morose walk and expression. Moonlight sat there with me.

“Will she be okay?” He asked.

“Perhaps. I certainly hope so. Did she ever tell you about her parents?”

“No.” He sounded confused with himself.

“You should ask her, maybe then you’ll see just how strong she is.”

“Is that a pun?” Even more confused.

“Never.”

Moonlight continued to sit there, staring at the wall. Thought marring his features. He eventually got up and followed the love of his life out the entrance at a full gallop.