Twilight Sparkle and the Terribly Inconvenient Boner.

by GentlemanPonyographer

Instructions from Luna

Previous Chapter

Eventually, sadly, and inevitably, Twilight's tryst with Celestia had to end.

They still found plenty of time to educate Twilight on her new anatomy, in a variety of positions. Celestia believed in a very thorough education. But, eventually, while Twilight and Celestia lounged in a bathtub that was bigger than Twilight's dorm room at university, Princess Celestia broke the news.

“I'd be a poor Princess if I neglected the running of the Kingdom for any longer- even if you are a wonderful distraction.”

Twilight blushed at the praise. “Are you sure? I mean, uh, it couldn't hurt if procrastinated for just a liiiitle longer, right?”

“Temptress.” Celestia smiled, and tilted Twilight's chin up to kiss her. “But, I'm afraid it can't wait any longer. But don't worry-- there will be other times. You haven't even gotten the chance to give it to me yet.” She winked slyly.

“Princess!” Twilight blurted. “I could never--”

“Oh, I think you could. At least, I hope so.” Celestia kissed Twilight again, and stood, water cascading from her pale, perfect form. She wrapped herself in a fluffy towel, and looked back down at Twilight. “There are clothes in the next room-- as well as a scroll of teleportation. Whenever you're ready, get dressed, and go back to Ponyville. Your friends are probably waiting for you.”

And with a gentle smile, Celestia snapped her fingers and disappeared in a flash of light. A short-distance transposition, Twilight guessed, by the sound it made.

Twilight sighed, and dragged herself out of the invitingly warm bath. She toweled off, and looked at herself in one of the bathroom's many tall mirrors. She looked just the same as she had days before- but somehow, the dick between her legs looked … more appropriate. At least, as appropriate as a rapidly hardening cock could be. It was part of her, now. A rather enjoyable part, too. Twilight bit her lower lip, and reached down to start stroking herself as she watched her reflection in the mirror.

Y'know what? Twilight thought. I'm kind of sexy.

She was lucky, she supposed. Her figure was slim, her skin was smooth, her breasts towards the smaller side, but still quite lovely- especially when her nipples stiffened in the cool air. There were plenty of girls out there with bigger busts- but not many of them had a cock like Twilight did, either.

Well, except Celestia, but that didn't count.

And honestly, this thing is an anatomical marvel. Twilight thought, and closed her fingers around her stiffening member. It's so … responsive. Not to mention matters of endurance …

Twilight twitched a little as she ran her fingers over the sensitive head of her cock.

“I shouldn't.” Twilight told herself, and then very carefully released herself. I should save this for later. Not that she'd had any problems with endurance before, but she'd already come to the realization that masturbation wasn't nearly as enjoyable as sharing her 'gifts' with her friends. Twilight licked her lips, and felt her cock throb harder as certain memories came to mind. Finally, with a great deal of mental effort (and a quick mental review of square root tables), Twilight took her mind off of sex long enough to go soft.

She found a gauzy (though thankfully opaque) purple gown in the wardrobe- though for all her looking, Twilight couldn't find any underwear. She briefly wondered if Celestia was simply being mischievous, or if it was some sort of historical throwback.

Not like it matters, Twilight thought, I can always change once I get back home.

She smiled, and unrolled the teleportation scroll.


Twilight' Sparkle's library was a disaster.

Admittedly, this was not an uncommon state of affairs. The occasional near-apocalypse (or Pinkie planned party) had nearly demolished the library on several prior occasions, which Twilight had optimistically used as opportunities to invent new ways of cataloging her books.

This time, though, was different.

The bookshelves had thankfully been left untouched. Everything else hadn't. The furniture had been overturned and strewn about, with every pillow, blanket, and cushion thrown haphazardly across the floor. Twilight saw her kitchen table had been pulled out into the middle of the room. At least, it was what was left of her kitchen table. Something had broken it in half, and then left the shattered boards laying there.

The library was warm, humid, even. The sticky smell of sweat and sex lingered in the air. Twilight tried not to think too hard about the occasional stains she saw on almost every surface. This included the ceiling, which Twilight was quick to blame on Pinkie Pie.

Twilight stared at the destruction so much she didn't notice Rainbow Dash until she nearly tripped over her.

Unconscious and naked, the athlete laid on the floor with her arms around a pillow. Her knees were still propped under her, thrusting her trim butt up into the air. For a moment, Twilight thought her friend had been hurt- until she noticed the broad, exhausted smile across her face. Glancing at the other end, Twilight soon found the reason for Rainbow's contentment- her pussy was flush and wet, having obviously been well-used.

The young princess bit her lower lip and stood quickly, leaving Rainbow curled up as she was. She felt her cock begin to stiffen beneath her diaphanous dress, but she pressed on with her investigation.

She found Rarity and Applejack next. Twilight wasn't surprised to find them naked as well, entwined together in a manner that looked somehow both awkward and endearing. Strangely, though, each of them wore a black collar around their neck, connected by a length of slim chromed chain.

They must be into some kinky stuff. Twilight mused to herself. Collar or no, the sight of Rarity's pale skin and Applejack's sculpted muscle was enough to push Twilight's cock to full mast, tenting the silks of her gauzy gown.

She shook her head, and went up the stairs to her bedroom. Need to change clothes. Twilight reminded herself; the royal silks were wonderfully light and comfortable, but they'd do absolutely nothing to conceal any … excitement she might have.

Then again, I wonder if that's the point?

Twilight put aside her socio-sexual theorizing and headed towards her bedroom. Upstairs wasn't quite as disastrous, at least. There were only a few discarded blankets and such laying around; however, the phone-booth sized cage outside her bedroom was new. As was the pink haired woman standing inside of it.

“Fluttershy?” Twilight sputtered. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, um, hi.” Fluttershy wiggled her fingers in an embarrassed wave. She too was naked, save for the slim collar hanging loosely from her neck. She somehow looked even more delicate than usual, behind the hard iron bars.

“We've got to get you out of there!” Twilight grabbed the door of the cage, and it swung open easily. Twilight blinked, and fiddled with the well-oiled door. The bars were solid metal, but the cage itself had no lock.

“Are you sure that's a good idea?” Fluttershy looked down at her bare toes and fidgeted. “I, um, was told to stay in here. It's kind of nice, I guess? Like I'm a pretty bird.” Fluttershy blushed.

“Oh.” Twilight said. “This is … a thing, isn't it? Wow. I never knew.” For lack of any better ideas, Twilight eased the cage door shut. “But … who told you to stay in here?” She tapped her fingers experimentally on the cold metal. “And where'd this even come from?”

“She told me to tell you to look in there.” Fluttershy nodded to Twilight's closed bedroom door.

“Who did?”

“She also told me it was a surprise.”

“Aha!” Twilight said, “I should've known Pinkie was behind all this!” She looked down the stairs at her ransacked library. “It doesn't make any sense at all! Time to get all this sorted out.” She spun on her heel, and barged into her bedroom.

As Twilight expected, Pinkie Pie was there.

As Twilight certainly wasn't expecting, so was Princess Luna.

The Princess of the Night had set up shop on Twilight's bed, having pulled the blankets and pillows together into a roughly throne-shaped configuration, which she languidly sprawled herself across. Her pose was effortlessly regal- though the pink frills and occasional stuffed animal kept the tableau from looking like a royal portrait. Luna wore a long robe, the same shimmery blue as her hair. Luna wore it belted at her waist, and the fabric tightly held to her generous chest. The lower half of her robe was left open, however. Luna's moon-pale legs stretched out into open view. Pinkie Pie, naked and collared, knelt between those legs, where she eagerly suckled on Luna's erect cock.

Pinkie Pie heard the door open and pulled away from Luna's shaft, leaving a thin trail of spittle hanging from the corner of her lip. “Hi Twilight!” Pinkie Pie waved cheerily.

“Did I ask you to speak?” Luna said. Without taking her eyes off of Twilight, she reached down and ran her fingers through Pinkie's mess of poofy hair.

“Sorry Princess!” Pinkie Pie chirped, and then happily sealed her lips over Luna's shaft again. Luna only registered the feeling with a slight catch of her own breath, and settled in deeper on her makeshift throne.

“Princess Luna?” Twilight said. The brazen tableau was shocking- but somehow alluring anyway. Her heart began to beat faster as Luna coolly looked her over. “What- what're you doing here?”

“Helping your friends.”

“What? How?”

Princess Luna shook her head. “I was afraid of this. My sister must have gotten … distracted.” Luna's eyes raked down Twilight's body, lingering slightly on the prominent tenting of her skirt. “I suppose I shouldn't blame her.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Please, sit.” Luna turned her hand delicately through the air, gesturing to a pile of pillows on the other side of the bed. “Make yourself comfortable, and I will educate you.”

Wary, but curious, Twilight settled down on the offered pile of cushions. She pulled at her purple gown, trying to hide her erection. “...are you really going to explain this while Pinkie's … “ she trailed off. Pinkie, meanwhile, just kept bobbing up and down on Luna's dick. She did offer Twilight a thumbs' up, however.

“If you insist.” Luna said, and snapped her fingers. “Pinkie, off.”

“Mmmmfm.” Pinkie Pie said something muffled and disappointed.

“Now.” Luna said.

Pinkie Pie slipped off of Luna's cock and wiped her lips with the back of her hand. “Fiiiiiine. Does this mean I get to suck off Twilight, next?”

“Later.” Luna said. She didn't bother closing her robe, and so her sizable shaft just flopped into the air. Erect and throbbing, the glistening head of Luna's cock was almost purple.

“Kay!” Pinkie Pie settled into a comfortable kneel by Luna's side. She wiggled a little bit by reflex, causing her large tits to sway enticingly. Twilight wrenched her gaze away from Pinkie's chest, only to get an eyeful of Luna's rigid cock- by the time she'd managed to look at her fellow Princess' face, Twilight felt her cheeks burn cherry red.

“Now then, by the look of things, you've taken the opportunity to … familiarize yourself with your new Princess nature.”

“I'm … still getting used to it.”

“I can tell. Still, there's something important you must know. As a Princess, magic flows through your veins. Powerful magic. Powerful enough that even your seed has potent side effects.”

“My seed?” Twilight said, “You mean my … “

“Come! She means come!” Pinkie Pie said. “That's okay, Rarity had to explain it to me, too.”

“I was going to say 'semen.'” Twilight said.

“But we're not pirates!”

“Quiet, Pinkie.” Luna said. “Or else I'll find a better use for your mouth.”

“Promise?” Pinkie Pie blinked adoringly up at Luna.

Luna rolled her eyes, though a faint smile turned up the corners of her lips. “Your friend Pinkie Pie is a good example, honestly.”

“An example of what?” Twilight said.

“The seed of a princess is an incredibly effective aphrodisiac. The effects may vary, but it's typically the first dose that is the worst. When one's body is unprepared for it, the resulting arousal can be painful, perhaps madness inducing. While you were speaking with Celestia, she sent me here to … keep things in line. Even still, I was late. By the time I arrived, your friends had already broken your table and emptied your vegetable drawer.”

“My vegetable--” Twilight came to a halt once she saw Pinkie Pie's guilty smile.

“The worst of it has passed,” Luna said, “though your friends will require further … direction.”

“So wait,” Twilight said, “you're saying that while Celestia and I … while we visited, you came here and had sex with my friends?”

“She did! It was great!” Pinkie Pie trembled a little, and her large nipples tensed.

“How does that help anything?”

“It's acclimation.” Princess Luna said. “The more your friends are exposed to this magic, the more resistance they'll build up to it. Ultimately, so long as you're careful, everything will be back to normal.”

“What about the collars? And the cage?”

“Those are just for fun.” Luna wet her lips.

“I see. Well.” Twilight sighed, and looked up at the ceiling. “I … I suppose I could set up a means to … collect my seminal fluids and distribute them as needed, until the course of the treatment is done. Just, uh, what's the necessary dosage?”

“Aw, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie said, “You're not getting all science-y on us now, are you? The 'right dosage' is a hard fucking, if you ask me!”

“But I can't!” Twilight blurted.

“You did before! It was great. Wanna do it again? Pleeeeease?” somewhere along the line, Pinkie had slipped a hand up to start stroking at Princess Luna's cock.

“That's what got us into this mess in the first place!”

Luna sucked in a breath as she felt Pinkie's soft hand tease her, and smiled. “And, amusingly, it's what will get you out of it. You have the right as a Princess to … enjoy yourself, Twilight. In this case, it's almost a responsibility.”

“Best responsibility ever!” Pinkie Pie went to all fours, and slithered across Twilight's bed. Her hands found Twilight's ankles, and she ran her palms up the outside of Twilight's legs, neatly pushing the hem of her gown upwards.

“Your friend is insatiable.” Luna said, matter of factly.

“I've, uh, noticed.” Twilight took a steadying breath and immediately regretted it as she got a whiff of Pinkie's sugary, sexy scent. She looked down at her friend, and licked her lips.

“It's true!” Pinkie giggled again, and moved to straddle Twilight's lap. She leaned in for a brief kiss, and draped her arms across Twilight's shoulders. Twilight felt her heart beat faster as she looked over Pinkie Pie. Even though she'd seen her friend naked before, Twilight found herself appreciating it more and more each time. Even if a steady diet of sugar-laced pastry had softened Pinkie's figure, it had certainly softened it in all the right places. She had the kind of body one couldn't help but want to cuddle- and the personality that nearly required it.

“Like what you see?” Pinkie Pie gave her heavy breasts a shake, and then grabbed hold of Twilight's head and pulled her face into an abundant valley of cleavage. Twilight moaned. By instinct, she started to kiss and suck along that soft flesh, tasting Pinkie's salty sweat. She soon found one of Pinkie's large nipples and began to suck eagerly at it, by reflex. Pinkie squealed in delight, and clutched Twilight harder to her chest.

“Mmmmh, that's nice and all, Twilight, buuuuut, I really need a dose of 'responsibility' right now.”

Pinkie Pie bunched Twilight's skirts up 'til they were around her waist. True to form, Pinkie giggled eagerly as Twilight's firm cock flopped into view. “Sorry!” Pinkie squeaked. “I didn't mean to laugh! Or, uh, well, I did. I just can't help it. Dicks are just so fun!”

Any protest Twilight might have had died as soon as Pinkie Pie wrapped gentle but eager fingers around her throbbing shaft. She moaned into Pinkie's breasts, which only earned another delighted laugh.

The mattress creaked as Pinkie Pie wriggled into position. She winked at Twilight, and then unceremoniously lowered her tight, dripping pussy onto Twilight's throbbing prick.

“Oh! Fuck!” Twilight blurted.

“I know!” squealed Pinkie Pie. She braced her hands on Twilight's shoulders. She met Twilight's eyes and began to grind up and down languid, teasing circles. Her intoxicating warmth enveloped Twilight's prick, greedily squeezing at her. “Isn't it great?”

“Uh. Yes?”

Pinkie Pie leaned over Twilight, resting her forehead against Twilight's. She kept working her hips, taxing Twilight's stamina and her bedframe's structural integrity. Pinkie's ample tits swayed with each roll of her hips.

“But … y'know what would be even better?” Pinkie said between panting breaths.

“No?” Twilight surprised herself with her ability to still speak.

Pinkie Pie pulled in a bracing breath, and looked over her shoulder. “I've never had two Princesses at the same time … “ she trailed off into a naughty, greedy giggle.

“Like I said,” Luna said, rising from her makeshift throne. “She's insatiable.”

Trapped as wonderfully as she was beneath Pinkie, Twilight couldn't say much in response. She craned her neck to the side and watched Luna step up behind Pinkie. The Princess of the Night stroked her long, still-slick shaft as she moved into position.

Twilight couldn't see just what Luna was up to- though Pinkie was more than happy to provide commentary.

“Oooooh! Right there! Right in my naughty ass!” Pinkie's fingers tightened in Twilight's gown.

Twilight opened her mouth to say something, anything- but the breath caught in her throat. Luna looked over Pinke's bare shoulder and just smiled. Luna thrust her hips, pushing Pinkie down harder on Twilight's cock, which made them both squeal.

Luna moved back and forth with long, thorough strokes as she worked her cock in and out of Pinkie's tight ass. Pinkie threw her head back and squeezed her eyes shut in rapturous pleasure. Trapped beneath her friend, who was in turn trapped beneath Luna, Twilight just laid back and tried not to pass out from the pleasure. It was somewhat awkward, between the three of them- and while they may not have been coordinated, the trio made up for it in enthusiasm. Before long, Luna was pounding Pinkie's ass hard enough to make her rump (and tits, and the little bit extra she had around the waist) jiggle.

Luna's slim and regal hands slid around Pinkie's chest, where they soon tugged on her thick nipples. Almost as if a switch had been flipped, Pinkie came. Or, more accurately, she started coming, as one orgasm after another rippled through her sodden pussy. Pinkie's whole body shook and vibrated like a malfunctioning kitchen appliance (or a perfectly functioning sex toy).

Twilight gasped again as she felt Pinkie clench down on her cock. That was just too much for her, and soon she felt a delicious climax of her own hit, filling Pinkie Pie's pussy with a steady, sticky stream of magical seed.

Hearing the cries of the two, Luna finally slowed down. She spanked Pinkie's ample butt, earning a delighted squeal from the still-sensitive baker, and pulled out of Pinkie's ass.

Exhausted, Pinkie rolled to the side, and Twilight's cock flopped out of her pussy. Pinkie Pie shook from head to toe as aftershocks of that orgasm still struck her. Luna just smiled, and grabbed hold of her own cock- a few businesslike tugs of her hand later, she came, shooting her load all over Pinkie and Twilight both. Twilight gasped in shock as she felt the sticky fluid spatter over her gown, but Pinkie Pie didn't even notice. She giggled madly a little more, and then collapsed onto the bed with a contented whimper, and a bit of drool already dripping from the corner of her mouth.

“Well then.” Luna said. Her hair was only slightly mussed, but Twilight could see the sheen of sweat on her pale skin. The Princess of Night pulled her robe shut. “The Pink one is going to be the most trouble. I was afraid she'd never be satisfied.” Luna grinned, and looked down at Pinkie's dozing body with no small degree of pride. “Then again, perhaps I should have fucked her in the ass first. You should keep that in mind.”

“I'll … try?” Twilight said, for lack of anything more coherent.

“As much as I've enjoyed myself,” Luna glanced out the window. Outside, the sun sank towards the horizon. “I must go. Heed my words, Twilight Sparkle. As a Princess, you're more than entitled to your … pleasures. But, such things carry responsibility as well. Your friends will need you. Treat them well.” Luna paused for a moment. “And drink lots of fluids. It'll keep your energy up.”

With that said, Luna waved her hands, performing a textbook teleportation spell. She disappeared in a flash of blue light, leaving a still-stunned Twilight and a still-comatose Pinkie Pie.

Twilight took a deep breath, and sat up.

“I hope there's still orange juice in the fridge … “


Author's Note

Oh, hey there, perverts. Wanted to get some writing done, and, uh, this is the result. I may post another chapter or two later, if I get ambitious and/or creatively depraved enough. Stay tuned!