Princess Twilight and the Mystery of the Chinese Tattoo
Chapter only.
Once upon Equestria time Twilight Sparkle the princess pony woke up in here bed in the mighty library Caslte make of solid nickel. Her bed had a solid nickel frame with solid nickel wheels on the bottom with a solid mettal nickel mattress with a solid metal nickel bedspring with soft solid nickel linens (nickelinens) and a pillow mad of book.
She woke up and it was in the after noon. She knew this because Twilight had recently learned time telling on a clock and for graduating clock school Twilight earned a gift from her Pony Best Friends Forevers: Pinkie Pie. “Oh no, she cried.” “Its after noon, according to this clock!.”
She threw her nickelinens into the floor and it clanged loudly with a very loud clang. She hopped on top of the nickelinens and tattempted to inspect her royal mane for evidence of what happened last night. At one time the nickelinens gleamed brightly and shinily with picture perfect reflections like a mirror because it was a mirror before Twilight Princess used it for her bad bed. Unfortunately the bad bed did more than be uncomfortable, it also scratched the nickellinens mirror and now it was brushed nickel and that's not possible to use as a mirror, regardless of how much mirror it used to be.
With no luck, Twilight Sparkle ran into the bathroom to look at why she had forgotten the previous night. The mirror was gone.
“Oh no,” she cried. “What a terrible decision i made,” and then she ran out of the treehouse castle library and ran into Ponyville, which is where Rarity lives. Bangoing on the door of Rarity’s house, she screamed loudly “open up you dumb bitch!” because she had amnesia and forgot Rarity’s name and where she lived. It was the closest building to the Ponyville. “Let me in!”
It was a good thing Rarity wasn't home because if Rarity was home, Rarity could have been standing near Rarity’s front door when Twilight Sparkle used her magic to buck down Rarity’s front door with her magic. And that would have hurt Rarity, but it didn't because they were at Ponyville visiting Fluttershy but Twilight didn't know that.
“Damn it ,” Princess Twilight said but then she had an idea. “I will use the bathroom mirror,” and then she did her idea. She arrived in the bathroom and found the mirror on the wall, looking shiny enough to see here reflection. Right on her face, under her left eye there was a tattoo of a squiggly character that wasn't Equestrianism. It was a letter in a language she read about in books and that language was Chinese. Twilight tried to rub the letter off with her hoof and then her wing but it wouldn't budge. She tried harder then it didn't work. “Oh no,” she cried, “is this is a tattoo???”
It was a tattoo, and Twilight knew she had to get to the bottom of what she forgot. “I don't remember anything from last night," Twilight said. She called her doctor, who was in Ponyville, but she did not know that at first. But then she remembered
“Hello? This is the doctor speaking,” the doctor said.
“Oh thank goodness I could call you doctor, I think something is wrong with me because I lost my momory.”
The doctor looked at his phone and said, “Oh no, my deer, i am The Doctor, Doctor Whoofs. I am not a memdical doctor. And now I must go because Derpy has just arrived. Thank you.” And then he hung up.
“Oh no,” she cried. “I have to remember where my doctors office is now.” But the doctors office wasn't very far and Twilight remembered that. She ran inside the office and saw the doctor and said, “Doctor, please help, I have frorgotten last night."
The doctor read the Chinese letters on her face. “Did you remember the tattoo?” she asked. “Of course I don't remember the tattoo! It happened there last night And I don't remember last night.”
“I see,” said the Doctor. “Did you use magic?” she asked Twilight.
Twilight rolled her eyes, “Of course, I used magic. Why?”
Twilight left the Doctor’s office. And then she ran to the Everfree Forest because remembered Zecora because she recetnly got the right to vote, even though she's technically not a citizen. She arrived at the Zecoras house and she burst threw the door and Zecora was watching TV.
Zecora looked at TwiLight who burst through the door and then she said, “Oh sheeeeit gurl, you still alive after last night? Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.”
“Zecora what happened last night?” Twilight shouted quickly.
Zecora chuckled and got up from the couch, which was covered in Funyons. “Don't surprise me none you don't remember shit about last night. I mean goddaaaaaaaaaaamn you was messed tha fug up. See first you lifted dat mufuggin gypsy curse on me that made me talk like a goddamn babies cartoon. Then we cracked open that precious brew I been workin' on for 60 moons, the Golden Malt Elixir. That shit was made of real gold, ya heard. An’ we was gettin' fucked as hell on that shit n’ at some point, you went and called me a zigga”
“Oh no," she cried. “Did i really?”
“Fuckin' yeah you did, and I gave you the back of my hoof and put you back in yo cracka ass place. But then you wouldn't stop craying. Jesus Luna goddamn I never seen no one cryin' like you was. I watched a baby get mugged by a raccoon an' that baby din't cry like you did, holy sheeit.”
“Ok, sounds right,” Princess Twilight said.
“So anyways, I tried to make you feel better with those card tricks and that wan't workin', so I gave you a tat on yo face cuz you said som'n bout face paints. Zigga I ain't got no facepaints, I said. But you was like, I want face paint muuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrr” and Zecora pantomimed a tantrum having baby.
“So i gave you some ink cuz that's the closest shit to face paintin' I had. I gave you a traditional OG old school Nike swoosh but you was movin' a bunch so it ended up lookin' fucked up and shit. It's yo own damn fault, dumbass.”
“Oh no,” she cried. “My crippling fixation on facepaints has ruined me yet again, I fear.”
“Damn strait. I think I could cover it up with Eazy E. You wan' some Eazy E ink?”
Twilight just started laughing. Zecora rolled her eyes and was like, “Yeeeee, okay whatever. I don't know what's up here,” and then Zecora started laughing too.
Meanwhile Rarity got home and saw here fucked up front door. “My door!” she exclaimed.