No Horn, No Wings, No Problem

by Heart Felt

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike
Length: 1165

Twilight gets an assignment from Princess Celestia to write a report on those less fortunate.

Twilight receives an assignment from Princess Celestia asking her to write a report on those less fortunate.

Just a silly short story, based on the prompt: We may not have wings, and we may not have horns—but we’ll show you just what earth ponies do have!

Published 2014-06-13 18:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-13 18:30:02 UTC

No Horn, No Wings, No Problem

Twilight paced back and forth holding up the scroll she had just been sent from Princess Celestia. Though she was a princess now, Celestia still sent her tasks and reports she needed to complete. “I just don’t get it Spike, what could the Princess mean when she asks me to write a report on those born less fortunate?”

The dragon scratched his chin. “Maybe she means dragons!”

Twilight frowned. “There’s no way that is what she meant. Perhaps she means those born into poor families, or those born with debilitating illnesses, or maybe-”

“Earth ponies!” Spike exclaimed.

“What about earth ponies?”

“Earth ponies are less fortunate than you or the other princesses, or even a unicorn or pegasus!” Spike explained. “They don’t have any magic like unicorns, and they can’t fly like a pegasus.” He beamed proudly. “Thus making them born less fortunate than others.”

The purple princess cocked her head. “Maybe Spike, but I doubt that is what she meant either. But it isn’t a bad idea to write a report on earth ponies anyway. There is still so much to be learned about their magic!”

Spike nodded. “Yup, I was right.”

A few minutes later, the two arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. “Applejack will be willing to help me with my report!” Twilight said to no one in particular.

“Mm-hmm.” Spike responded, not really paying much attention. They found the farmer pony kicking apple trees in the Sweet Apple Acres orchard.

“Howdy you two!” greeted Applejack. She kicked a tree and all the ripe apples fell into a basket waiting below. “What brings you here?”

“Twilight’s doing a report on ponies less fort-” Spike was interrupted by Twilight closing his mouth using her magic.

“Excuse him, he’s a little sick,” the alicorn continued, “I’m writing a report on earth pony magic. Would you mind helping me by letting me interview you?”

“Sure thing sugarcube! Let me haul these apples to the farmhouse and we can talk inside.” The blonde mare lifted the heavy basket full of apples onto a wagon and hooked herself up. Walking and pulling forward, the wagon began to slowly lurch forward. “Once I… get it moving… it’s like moving nothing!” She grunted between breaths.

“Would you like any help?” Twilight asked, somewhat worried that the earth pony would hurt herself.

With a big pull, the wagon began to move steadily. “I got it!” said Applejack. “Now let’s get going. We don’t have all day!”

Soon they were inside the Apple family’s home. Applejack, Spike, and Twilight all sat at the kitchen table, Applejack on the opposite side as the purple pony and dragon.

“Let’s begin, shall we?” Twilight asked. Spike readied a piece of parchment and a quill, preparing to write down everything that was said.

Applejack nodded. “Yup, I’m ready whenever you are!”

“So, Applejack, how long have you worked on Sweet Apple Acres?”

“About as long as I can remember. Pretty much ever since I could walk I was doing something on the farm, just maybe not bucking apples.”

“I noticed something when we were outside, when you were kicking apple trees. How do the apples fall, but not the leaves or the branches?”

Applejack cocked her head and scrunched up her face in thought. “I honestly don’t know,” she said. “That may have something to do with my magic. All ponies have magic, right?”

“Well, scientifically speaking, they haven’t proven that, but I’m working on it.” Twilight said. “We’ll have to conduct some tests later to see if it really is magic. One other thing I noticed is how strong you are, do you think that may have something to do with magic?”

“Shoot, I doubt it. Like I said before, I’ve been doing farm work all my life. I’m just as fit as a fiddle, magic or no magic!”

Spike hastily wrote every word down on the paper. “I have a question Applejack. If you were given the choice, would you want to be a pegasus or a unicorn?”

Twilight looked at the dragon with a bit of frustration. “That doesn’t have much to do with my report, but I will admit it is an interesting question.”

Applejack scrunched up her face again. “Well,” she cocked her head to the side, “Maybe…” She rested her chin in her hoof. “Nah. I’m too used to being an earth pony. Plus my whole family is earth ponies, so it’d be a bit questionable if I wasn’t!”

“Well, thank you Applejack!” Twilight spoke. “I’ll be sure to tell you when I’m ready to run some tests to see if you really do possess some magic. Bye!” She rose out of her chair and began to leave. Spike rolled up the parchment and followed after her.

“See you later!” Called Applejack, getting up to finish her own work. “Would I want to be anything else besides an earth pony…?” She continued to ponder.

The second and last place they visited was Sugarcube corner. Twilight trotted into the store and was greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Cake.

“Hello there sweetie!” Mrs. Cake said. “Are you here for Pinkie Pie, or for something else?”

“We’re here for Pinkie!” Spike explained.

“She’s in her room doing something, I’ll get her.” Mr. Cake started walking to Pinkie’s room, and a few seconds later Pinkie came bouncing into the main room.

“Heya Twilight!” She called. “What’s up?”

Twilight cleared her throat. “I’m writing a report on earth pony magic, and I was hoping that you’d let me interview you.”

“An interview? That sounds like fun! I’ll do it!”

The princess looked around. “Is there anywhere we can do it in private?”

“Sure, my room is pretty quiet.” Pinkie said. “Want to go there?”

“That sounds fine, Pinkie.” Twilight replied, and the three walked into Pinkie Pie’s room.

All three formed a circle on the floor. “Okay Pinkie, I only have a couple of basic questions. They shouldn’t be too hard to answer. Let’s see here…” Twilight began, but was interrupted by Spike.

“Pinkie! Would you like to be a pegasus or a unicorn if you had the chance?”

Pinkie stood up and began bouncing around. “A pegasus or a unicorn? Hmm..” She sat down and rested her head in her hooves. “Why not both? Then I could fly around like, nyoooooom!” Pinkie ran around the room on her hind legs, arms outstretched. “Nyooooooooooooom!” She made a noise like nothing Twilight or Spike had heard before. “And I’d have a horn too, so at the same time I’d be going, pew pew!” Pinkie put one of her hooves on her head, mimicking a unicorn horn. “Pew pew! Nyooooooom!” Then she collapsed on the ground in front of her friends. “That was a fun interview guys, but I need to rest now! Sorry!” She rolled onto her side and immediately fell asleep.

“Great job Spike.” Twilight mumbled.

“What? I was curious about what she would say. Now I know.”