Ridiculousness Reigns Supreme
Cheese Sandwich walked along the dirt road at a leisurely pace, whistling a merry tune to the beat of the clop of his hooves. All dressed up in a cowpony getup and carrying a rubber chicken on his back, the party pony was very content with himself at the moment. Having snagged himself a timeslot to visit his favorite pony, why wouldn’t he be happy?
Usually he’d be heading to the next town that was planning a party requiring his caliber of skill. However, there were days where he made time to steal away into Ponyville and catch up with his dear friend Pinkie Pie. They would share funny stories, toss around ideas for new party gags, and just fool around like the crazy ponies they were. Just being around her was energizing, and he loved every minute he had of each visit he made, and he was sure she did too.
Today, he had some things he wanted to show her.
He stopped his whistling and grinned at the sight of some buildings coming into view, most of them houses. The crystalline tree castle towered over the rest and gleamed in the sunlight, contrasting the more simple exteriors of most of the other buildings. He stopped and took a good, long look at it. He wondered if ponies would visit Ponyville just to see the castle of Princess Twilight Sparkle.
He recalled the letter Pinkie had composed detailing how the castle came to be. Unfortunately, one of those details was how Boneless was required to be a sacrifice to save Equestria. He still felt a little sad about it, but if it was to save ponies from the “big, red, magic-stealing meanie”, then he was a tiny bit proud that his rubber chicken of many years had died a hero. And he was sure that Boneless 2 was proud of his brother.
“Cheesy!”
The high-pitched voice snapped him out of his reverie. “Hey, Pinkie!”
He happily reared up, caught the high-speed Pinkie in his forelegs, and twirled her around. He and she both laughed as Cheese danced on his two back hooves while he continued to spin. Finally, he set her down and gazed into her bright blue eyes.
“Happy to see me?” he asked, still bearing a wide grin.
“Well, duh!” she replied. She started to bounce up and down, her own smile rivaling Cheese’s. “I’m always happy to see you! Well, minus when I was jealous during Rainbow’s Birth-aversary, and that one time when I wasn’t feeling like my usual Pinkie self and you just happened to visit on the wrong day and I was super snippy and hurt your feelings. But other than those instances, I’m super, super glad whenever you visit, Cheese!”
“Haha, glad to hear it! Oh, look, here come your friends.”
Pinkie spun around, and sure enough, her friends had caught up to her. “Girls! Lookie! Cheese has come to visit!”
“We can see that, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said. She flew forward and did a hoof bump with Cheese. “It’s great to see you again, Cheese Sandwich!”
“We weren’t expecting to have you today,” Twilight remarked.
“Yeah, yer visit is sure a nice surprise,” Applejack stated. Beside her, Fluttershy and Rarity were nodding.
"Well, surprise! Cheesy has spared a day for Ponyville!” Cheese couldn’t help but feel giddy at the warm smiles the group of mares was giving him. He felt especially extra giddy when looking at Pinkie’s smile. His eyes lit up, glanced at a nearby tree, and he started to snicker. “So, little fillies, you mind sitting down? I need your opinion on something…”
He gave Boneless 2 to Pinkie, and she backflipped onto a soft patch of grass. She looked to the others and patted on the grass beside her. The other five complied and sat in a line beside Pinkie. They looked up at the stallion, who looked as if he was up to something.
Cheese stood on his hind legs and rubbed his front hooves together. “All right, girls, tell me what you think—” He suddenly began to spin, and the mini tornado he became swept behind the tree. He appeared on the other side, his body now looking like that of Bulk Biceps’. With a smirk, he continued, “—of my muscle suit!”
All six of the girls stared with wide eyes and slack jaws at Cheese’s sudden change in body frame. Then Pinkie started giggling, followed by Rainbow snickering. Applejack had some hearty chuckles of her own, while Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight had their hooves to their mouths, their mouths curls into amused smiles and their bodies heaving with quiet laughs of their own.
Cheese’s eyes twinkled at the sight, and he began to flex his fake muscles. “Yeah, I’ve been working out.”
More giggles erupted from the mares, and he continued to flex some more. “Haha! And they said I could never escape my wiry body! Who’s laughing now?!”
The giggles evolved into full blown laughter, and Cheese struck several poses, showing off the ridiculous amount of bulk he was wearing. “I was a wimp before my muscle suit! Now, I’m a jerk, and everypony loves me!”
Behind him, there came a faraway shout of, “YEAH!” from a certain pegasus stallion.
Pinkie fell onto her back, snorting loudly and tears leaking out of her eyes. Rainbow banged on the ground, and Twilight was covering herself with her wings. The others were covering their faces, still chortling at the sheer ridiculousness that Cheese was displaying. He laughed along with them, and then spun behind the tree once again.
They had just quieted down when he appeared again, this time looking fat. Very, very fat. All the mares covered their mouths and looked up at his now chubby face.
He narrowed his eyes at them and said, “Just watch your mouth… or I’ll sit on you.”
They began to giggle again. Pinkie held Boneless 2 tightly, squeaking in a manner that made it sound like he was laughing as well. Cheese grinned a grin that was partly squashed by the chubby cheeks.
Cheese began to dance, and sang, “You know I’m fat! I’m fat! You know it!”
The girls continued to laugh, watching Cheese kick around in his bulging costume as he continued to sing, “Don't you call me pudgy, portly or stout, just now tell me once again who's fat!”
Pinkie and Rainbow were holding each other, chortling together as Rainbow continued to bang on the grass and Pinkie waved Boneless 2. The others were just laughing in different positions, with Fluttershy and Twilight covering themselves with their wings. Nodding in satisfaction, Cheese spun once again and went behind the tree.
“Oh, man… what’s next?” Rainbow snickered.
“I don’t know!” Pinkie answered. An evil-looking grin spread across her face and she rubbed her hooves together. “Excuse me, girls. I’ll be back in a second.” With that, she sped off, the other five watching her in bewilderment.
“…what is she up to?” Twilight murmured.
“Ah dunno,” Applejack answered. “But Ah got a feelin’ it’s gonna be ridiculous.”
They noticed a pink tornado swirl from behind the tree, and jerked their heads to face what it was that appeared. They all blinked in surprise at the sight of what looked like a stallion form of Pinkie Pie grinning at them, with only Cheese’s green eyes marking a difference.
“Hello, little fillies!” he said in Cheese Sandwich’s voice. The five covered their mouths, and he swept his eyes across them, gauging their reaction. However, his face fell into a frown when he noticed that Pinkie was missing.
“Hey… where’d Pinkie go?”
“I wish we knew, Cheese,” Rarity said with a shrug. “She did say that she’d return.”
Fluttershy nodded. “She may have some sort of surprise coming.”
Twlight glanced at the others, and then glanced back at the mildly disappointed Cheese, still in his male Pinkie costume. “Well, as long as she doesn’t return dressed up as—”
The alicorn was interrupted when an orange blur zoomed past them and tackled Cheese, pinning him to the ground. The mares felt it like a swift breeze, and blinked in shock before turning to the source of the blur that had the currently pink stallion pinned under her hooves.
Cheese was blinking away the stars in his vision, and his vision had become rather shaky for the moment. As his vision began to clear, he could see an orange figure above him, and he could barely make out a grin. He shook his head, and his vision cleared to revealed what looked like himself (out of costume) as a mare, wearing a yellow shirt and having Boneless 2 in her mane, beaming at him. The only difference was that he could see that her eyes were blue.
Cheese couldn’t help but laugh. “Pinkie, you sly mare. Did you know I was going to pull out this costume?”
“Nope!” Pinkie replied, jumping off of him. “I just thought it’d be funny if I wore this. Hee hee hee, now we have stallion Pinkie and mare Cheese!” She started to bounce around Cheese as he got to his hooves.
“Where’d ya get that costume, anyhow?” Applejack asked.
“Shush! Party pony secret!”
Applejack raised an eyebrow in response.
Cheese and Pinkie were bouncing around and laughing at each other. They were pulling at each other’s forelocks, examining each other’s tails, and pointing out that they messed up each other’s cutie marks. After a few more giggles, they huddled together and whispered a few things, bringing curious looks from the others.
“Um, hey?” Rainbow said. “What are you two whispering on about?”
They broke the huddle, and Pinkie snatched Rarity from her spot. The fashionista was utterly confused as both party ponies summoned boaters and a mustache that Pinkie didn’t hesitate to wear, and began to dance around her as they sang:
“We deal with hilarity
As we dance ‘round Rarity
She’s Pinkie!
He’s Cheese!
And we are dressed like each other!
Super party ponies, hooray!”
They threw Rarity back to her spot, and pulled Rainbow Dash and Applejack into a double rubber chicken dance. Both of the tomboys were grinning, and when thrown back to their spots, were laughing.
And then, they started reenacting the Goof Off. Cheese started it off by donning the mustache and beanie, and singing the very first part of the song and juggling cupcakes. The girls were giggling at the sight of a gender-swapped Goof Off beginning, since Cheese was still in his stallion Pinkie costume. And then right after, Pinkie pulled off a mare Cheese version of the “cheese in your knees” segment.
However, as Cheese began “bubbles and balloons”, he ripped off his stallion Pinkie costume, surprising them with a body suit of Flim. Upon seeing “Flim” sing a segment of the Goof Off, the audience of five looked between each other and chuckled.
Pinkie ripped off her mare Cheese costume next, and soon “Flam” was pulling Twilight into the rubber chicken dance, and commanding Boneless 2 to dance. Twilight was laughing by the time she was thrown back into the audience.
Next, “Fancy Pants” was bouncing on a trampoline, singing for Gummy to do the Gummy shake.
And then “The Great and Powerful Trixie” stole and polkafied Pinkie’s song, being called out on it by “Braeburn” and subsequently getting blasted in the face with Pinkie’s party cannon. And then “Braeburn” shot himself out of the party cannon.
And then “Cranky Doodle Donkey” summoned the party tank.
Lastly, “Miss Harshwinny” brought in the piñata and sang in Spanish. And it fell on a limp effigy of Prince Blueblood.
As “Miss Harshwinny” leapt off the piñata, Cheese Sandwich’s laugh came out of her mouth, as did Pinkie’s laugh rang from Cranky’s mouth. The two glanced at their laughing audience, approached each other, and then proceeded to rip each other’s masks off, revealing the faces of the super party ponies.
“Well, that was a lot of fun,” Cheese chuckled, ruffling Pinkie’s raspberry mane.
“Hehehe, it sure was.” Pinkie couldn’t help the smile that spread across half her face. Upon hearing somepony’s stomach rumble, she giggled. “Wanna have lunch with us?”
Cheese smiled at her, and then looked at her friends. “I’d love to.”
Author's Note
I am chock full of cheesiness, folks. I really doubt this is as funny as it was in my head. *sigh* Oh, well.
So, yeah, reference to Weird Al's "Fat" (parody of Michael Jackson's "Bad) is in there, as is a little parody of the Flim Flam Bros' song from the cider episode (too tired to care to look for the name).
And I don't know where that version of the Goof Off came from. It just popped into my head as I wrote.
Okay, congratulations for reading this lameness. Have a pat on the back and a cookie.
