My name is Captain Ares Andrews. I'm an AH-64 Apache pilot attached to the 101st Airborne division in Ft Campbell Kentucky. I'm not suffering PTSD, I didn't get sucked through a portal, or any of that nonsense. In fact, the last time I even heard the name 'Rainbow Dash', I was a college kid. That show went off the air like five years ago! But, regardless of when the last time I dove into the land of pony art and stories was, it doesn't change the fact that I have something in my house that fans of the show would probably kill for. And I have no idea how she got here, when she's leaving, whether or not she's even real. But she's here alright.