"I can't believe you, Sarah."
The little girl's father towered over her as he stood in her doorway, casting his billowing silhouette throughout the room. His disapproving voice was harsh and merciless, his poignant glare stopping her in her tracks.
She could do nothing other than simply sit on the floor, backed up against the edge of her bed, doing her best to stifle her quiet whimpers as she clutched her Twilight Sparkle doll for dear life and tears rolled down her cheeks.
"So, some boy in your class tears up your drawing, and you punch him in the face? What are you, some kind of savage? You're six years old. You know better."
She had already been put in detention because of it, but her father made it known to her in the car ride home that she would be additionally punished for it at home as well. Just hearing him talk to her that way and seeing him look at her that way was more than enough to make her feel bad for what happened. But he wouldn't stop there. He never did.
He never hit her, or did anything that she could talk to the police about to get him away from her. But he had a way of knowing exactly how she felt, and would never stop berating her until she felt completely broken. Then, as soon as she started to feel okay again, he would do it again. He knew exactly what to do, what to say, and how and when to do and say them, to put her through multitudes more of the misery that he claimed she caused him in the first place.
He recoiled in disgust at the snot and tears on her face, the annoying sounds she made when she cried, and the pathetic way she would latch onto a useless child's toy as if it was her entire world. He shook his head furiously, storming up to her with just a few long strides and grabbing the plush doll in her arms.
Sarah gasped in horror. "No!" she shrieked.
She held on with all her might, but her strength was no match for her father's, and in a second he lifted it out of her grasp.
"I'm throwing this stupid thing away," he growled, Sarah knowing that he completely meant it.
"PLEASE, NO! DON'T!" Sarah sobbed, releasing a shrill scream at the top of her lungs.
Her father stopped in his tracks, covering his hurting ears to shield them from the cacophony, shutting his eyes tightly and gritting his teeth. "SHUT UP!!!" he snarled, his bellowing voice overpowering hers and terrifying her into near silence.
She tried to hold it in, but she couldn't stop crying. Try as she might, in spite of her best efforts, it was still too loud for her father to bear. He released another furious growl in defeat.
"Will you just shut up if I let you keep it?!?"
Sarah forced herself to remain quiet again, shaking as she nodded a few times.
Her father grimaced, roughly throwing the Twilight Sparkle doll in her face. "Stupid girl..." he muttered just loud enough for her to hear. "I'd still throw it away once you're done with it... But I'd be doing you a disservice. Maybe someday, if you ever finally grow up for once, you'll have enough sense in your head to throw it away yourself." With that, he slammed the door, the thundering noise causing Sarah to shudder before she held Twilight close again.
The girl struggled to remain as quiet as possible, taking a few minutes to collect herself as she quietly wept into Twilight's mane, before she finally gathered enough self-control to will herself into crawling onto her bed and pulling the covers over herself, resting her head on her pillow next to Twilight's as she looked into her gentle, forgiving lavender eyes.
"No one understands me but you, Twilight Sparkle," she murmured woefully. "I wouldn't even have you if my mom didn't get you for me before she left... I don't have any other friends, and I'm always stuck with my awful dad..." she sighed. "I feel like I'm in a nightmare I can never wake up from... I just want it to finally be over already..."
Sarah's breathing and heartbeat gradually slowed down, and she felt calmer with time. She started to gently pet Twilight's mane, wishing that the pony would speak to her, yet knowing she wouldn't; still, her reassuring presence was more than enough to eventually put her completely at ease. Fleeting thoughts drifted through her mind as she reflected on how she wished she could be in Equestria with her, without a care in the world, trying to imagine it all happening. The little girl kept focusing on those peaceful whims, sinking further into them until she drifted off to sleep.
When she was sure she next awoke, Sarah was surprised by how alert she felt. It was as if all the feeling in her body had slowly faded back into her consciousness, only rather than laying in her bed with the sun on her face, she was standing up in what appeared to be an endless sea of darkness. She looked down at her hands, finding that she could see herself just fine as if she were in a fully lit room, except that, strangely, there was no light anywhere except for her body; she was even clad in the exact same pajamas that she went to bed in.
Bewildered, she started to look around, only further confused by how unusually calm she felt for being in such a weird predicament. It was only until her eyes finally set themselves on the only other lit being in the room that her mouth dropped agape in disbelief. Staring back at her was a somber, life-sized Twilight Sparkle; she even looked "flat" like how she did on the TV show and on the stickers in her backpack, yet there seemed to be nothing keeping them apart from being in the same room, or wherever they were.
"... Is... Is it really you?..." Sarah murmured, still having difficulty accepting what she was seeing.
"Of course it's me, Sarah," Twilight answered her, starting to slowly trot towards her. "You talk to me all the time. All about all the things bothering you, and how unhappy you are. And how you wish you could be around me, so that you can get away from all of it." Once the unicorn was close enough, she closed her eyes, extending her forelegs and wrapping them around the girl, pulling her into a gentle hug. "I know it might not always seem like it, but... I promise you, I'm always going to be there for you. One way, or another." As she eventually slipped away, Twilight looked right at Sarah's face, surprising the girl by having tears in her eyes. "Please don't ever forget that... Okay?..."
"I won't, Twilight," Sarah whimpered, meaning it with all of her heart. "But... Why are you so sad?..."
"Because you're sad," she answered her. "I know how much you care about me... You watch me whenever you can, and see everything that I'm going through, and you're always there to root for me until I can make it, and then you keep cheering me on as I find what makes me happy... I care about you, too... And I want to do for you what you've been doing for me..." the pony sighed, briefly looking away. "I've been pretty lucky, because I've always been able to overcome my problems whenever I've had them... But you haven't had the same luck... Not at all..."
"It really stinks," Sarah bemoaned.
"Yeah, it does," Twilight empathized. "But... There's something I want you to know... When I was going through all of my troubles, there were times that I thought they were never going to be over, and that I would be stuck with them the rest of my life... But eventually, I made it through..." she held Sarah's hand in her forehooves. "I know it's been taking longer for you, but... It can happen for you, too..."
The girl smiled, only to slowly frown, looking away out of guilt. "... I thought you would be ashamed of me..."
Twilight frowned as well. "... Why?..."
"Because I hit that boy... I didn't want to hurt him... Well, I did, when he did what he did, but, I didn't mean to, or, I never wanted to hurt him before, and I wish I didn't... And not because I got in trouble for it, either... He just..." Sarah shut her eyes, tears starting to appear again. "He just really hurt my feelings, because I was drawing you, and he made fun of me for it and tore it up... It really meant a lot to me... You mean a lot to me..."
"I know, Sarah," Twilight replied. "... And... I'm not proud of what you did to him, but, I am proud of you, for who you are, overall... But, believe me, I've made mistakes like that before, too... You know it, because you've seen it happen... Sometimes, when our feelings get hurt, we do things that we normally would never do, even if we don't mean to, or we might know that it's wrong... It's okay to be angry, and it's okay to make mistakes, just as long as you don't try to do those things when you can help it... And I know you never do..." with that, she hugged her again, and Sarah hugged her in return.
"Thank you, Twilight," Sarah sobbed. "I needed to hear that..."
"It's like I said... I'll always be here for you..." Twilight gently cuddled against her. "... But there's one more thing I really want to tell you right now... Your dad?... Don't believe what he says about you... No matter what... You're not stupid, you're not a bad person... You don't try to do anything wrong, and you deserve to be happy... Okay?... Please... Please do that for me... I know it's hard, because he says it all the time, but you need to believe me... He's wrong about you..."
"Okay, Twilight," Sarah sniffled.
Twilight parted from her once more, this time giving her a warm smile. "You know better," she said, but with a much more encouraging tone than the one her father spoke those words in. "You're a good person, and someday you'll never have to listen to him say those things again... It might feel like a really long time, but it's going to come, and it's going to be completely worth it... I'll be right there with you to help you out until it happens, and I'll still be there with you after it does, because we're friends..."
Sarah started to smile, nodding in acceptance.
Twilight's smile grew. "So, let's make each other a promise right now," she declared as she extended her forehoof for a handshake. "I'm going to be there for you, the same way you've always been there for me. We'll be there for each other, together, all the way to the very end... Okay?..."
"Okay," Sarah perked, eagerly taking Twilight's hoof and shaking it.
With that, her eyes finally opened. It was still dark, and in the middle of the night... But she didn't care whether or not she could go back to sleep, or that she was just going to go to school and get talked down to by her dad again tomorrow. She knew that her best friend heard her, that she cared, and that she was always going to be there for her. She looked to the Twilight doll lying next to her, smiled at it, and closed her eyes as she hugged her close to her.
"Thank you."
Over the years, day in and day out, Sarah's life felt like a routine. She was still bored all day long at school, and bullied by her other students, as well as by her own dad. But eventually, she would always move on to the next day. She was so grateful for the help of Twilight Sparkle; without her, she didn't know if she would have ever made it this far. She was a little older and in high school by now, and had a little bit better of an understanding as far as the fact that Twilight wasn't actually real... But she was still real to her, deep down. A true friend, even if she was fictional, and could only interact with her in her imagination.
She even felt a little bit embarrassed that she still liked My Little Pony after so long, a fact that her father regularly went to great lengths to humiliate and make fun of her for. Instead of throwing away the Twilight doll like he threatened he would so many times, he found it more amusing to let her keep it, thinking that it proved the immaturity he perceived in her and laughing at her for it whenever he saw her with it. Still, the blow was softened by the fact that the show still had strong followers like it did in the first few years since Friendship Is Magic aired, and that the fourth generation of My Little Pony was still deeply beloved in the hearts of many others, even years after that incarnation ended.
She almost thought it would be easy to make other friends -- human, real life friends -- given that, but it was difficult for her. On top of already being shy and introverted just by nature, the demeaning words of her father from as early as she could remember still haunted her years and years later, countless little memories that would weigh down her soul and destroy her self-esteem. Twilight tried to repel them the best that she could, but they would never completely go away, and Sarah was convinced it would remain that way for her entire life.
She needed the fictional pony's support so badly that she still kept the doll in her backpack, even though she was a fourteen year old freshman. After finishing her assignments, during break and lunch, she would daydream about getting to spend time with Twilight and have adventures with her and her friends in Equestria, the way she did for so many years already, whenever she found a rare moment of peace at home (only whenever her father left her alone), or whenever she could manage to go for a walk somewhere in town. Sarah even still drew pictures of Twilight, and began to write stories about the things she would daydream of with her.
There was one other person on campus who she would often see from afar during lunch, noticing that she also carried memorabilia of Friendship Is Magic... Only, unlike Sarah, this girl was not at all ashamed to have them, and openly displayed them quite often. Whenever someone taunted her for it, she would curtly tell them which direction they could place certain belongings of theirs, and genuinely seemed not to care what anyone else thought of her. Sarah envied this amount of self-respect, having always found it to be something unattainable, at least in regards to herself; the closest she came to it was her friendship with Twilight.
Sarah often thought about possibly approaching the girl to become friends... But she often felt deterred. A "real" friend, not one in her imagination? She wouldn't have been so pessimistic about the prospect if it weren't for the words of her father. Even as she thought of them in that moment, she could almost hear them in her memories.
'You know better than to think anyone would ever want to be friends with you.
You're such an annoying, disappointing, useless, worthless child. You're never going to amount to anything, and I couldn't be more ashamed of you. The only reason I haven't given you up to go live somewhere else is so I can challenge myself by trying to mold you into something that someone someday might actually give a crap about, instead of always being pampered by someone the way your mother did, so at least you'll actually be prepared for the world. If you think it's hard being around me, wait until you get a taste of real life for once. You'll thank me for everything I've done to you, and you'll wish that you listened to me more often and showed me more appreciation instead of always being such a defiant, brainless, unbearable brat.'
Sarah sighed, wiping away the tears that she felt starting to form in her eyelids. She turned around to walk away, intending to give up on ever trying to approach the fellow student, but she was stopped in her tracks by another familiar voice. A much softer, compassionate one; Twilight Sparkle's.
'You know better than to listen to anything your father has ever said about you.
You're a great friend, and I'm so happy that I get to be yours, the same way that you're mine. Remember when I first moved to Ponyville? I had trouble making friends too, at first -- in fact, for a long time, I always thought I'd never make any at all -- but, after spending all those years in Canterlot, thinking that the only ones I'd ever have there for me were my family, Spike, Cadence and Celestia, I made friends. And you're one of the greatest friends of all, Sarah. Maybe this girl might not be your friend, and maybe it might take you a while, but you can always try. And even if that's the case... At least you'll have me. Me, and all the other friends that we share. So please... If you can... Take a chance, like I did. I believe in you, like you believed in me.'
Sarah smiled, taking a few moments to compose herself, silently thanking Twilight for backing her up in her time of need. She sighed, preparing herself for social interaction for the first time she could recall in years, and started to walk to the girl she kept avoiding until now.
Once she was finally close enough, the other girl noticed her, perking up. "Oh... We're in English together, aren't we? It's Sarah, right?"
"Yes," Sarah answered her. "I, um... I'm afraid I forgot your name..."
"It's Tiffany," she replied, greeting her with a warm smile.
"Ah... Cool. Thank you."
Tiffany nodded a few times, put off slightly by Sarah's sudden awkward silence. "So... What brings you here?..."
"Oh, um... I, um... I noticed that you like Friendship Is Magic, and I thought that was neat, because I, uh... I like that too."
"Really?"
"Yeah... Here, I'll show you..." Sarah set down her backpack next to Tiffany, opening it to briefly retrieve her Twilight doll to show to her before putting it back.
"Wow, that's awesome!" Tiffany exclaimed. "I have one like that, too! I have the whole mane six back at my house, along with Luna and Celestia."
"That must be nice," Sarah murmured, somewhat envious. "... Do you think you'd like to hang out sometime?... Like, outside of school?..."
"Sure! That sounds like it would be great!"
Sarah stifled a sigh of relief. "All right, thank you..." she rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "It's so nice to finally meet someone else who likes this... My dad won't cut me a break for still being into it..."
"Oh, that's ridiculous! You can never be too old to have fun!" Tiffany replied. "Why don't you come to my house sometime? We can have marathons of our favorite episodes!"
Sarah beamed. "I'd... Actually really like that... I haven't done anything like that in a really long time..."
"Me neither, actually," Tiffany explained. "I've been looking for a good excuse to do it again for the longest time, but I've done it so many times before... It just isn't the same watching them just by yourself over and over, you know?..."
Sarah nodded. "I know the feeling..." after another brief moment passed, she shrugged. "So, I guess we're friends, then..."
"Yeah! 'Friendship' friends!"
They both laughed.
Sarah smiled. She couldn't see her, but she knew somewhere in the back of her mind, Twilight was smiling with approval.
'I knew you could do it,' Twilight's gentle voice reassured her in her thoughts.
"So, he got on my case just because I happen to spend a good amount of my free time on the computer and playing video games on a regular basis. You should have seen how he overreacted... I mean, it's not like I'm doing drugs or stealing things or something like that. It's perfectly harmless. My dad's just a perfectionist, micromanaging control freak," Sarah explained, shaking her head.
Tiffany nodded in agreement. "He's just bitter that he's old. People like that are just jealous because they're not youthful like us anymore, so they just reject whatever we're into for that alone, no matter what. 'What's wrong with her? She's happy! Say no to whatever it is that she's doing, she's... Happy!' You know?"
The two friends laughed.
They were in their last year of high school, and it was almost time for the senior prom. In the years since they became friends, they regularly spent time at Tiffany's house, finding that Sarah's was usually an uncomfortable and boring environment. Sarah even got along great with Tiffany's parents, and regularly got to stay over at her house on the weekends, finding that to be the best time of her week thanks to all the time apart away from her father.
School had just ended on a Friday, and they were about to walk to Tiffany's car to start their weekend tradition. Just as they were about to head to the parking lot, Sarah froze at a familiar sight. There was a fellow student who tutored her that she had a crush on for a long time, which Tiffany had picked up on long ago and sometimes teased her for. His name was Mark, and he was going through his locker further down the hall, in plain view of the two girls.
Sarah felt her heart pounding in her chest. She often daydreamed about him, but felt so sure he wouldn't reciprocate her feelings. They'd spent time together many times before, but she wasn't even sure how close they were. They liked each other and spent long enough together to be more than acquaintances, but maybe not enough to even be friends in the first place; just some weird place in the middle she couldn't quite name.
"Why don't you ask him to prom?" Tiffany teased.
"I don't know what I'll do if he says no," Sarah murmured.
"The worst he can say is 'no'," Tiffany replied, rolling her eyes. "Just humor me. Try him and see what he says."
"B-but -- girls aren't even the ones who usually ask guys out, they ask us out!"
"So? We're within the first half of the twenty-first century, live a little and break some traditions, for crying out loud!"
Sarah winced. "Can't you at least back me up on this?"
Her friend laughed. "No way! Come on, you can do it yourself. I'm going to go wait by the car -- whether or not you want to ask him is up to you... But... I think you should." with that, Tiffany smirked, quickly walking away.
"Oh, come on!" Sarah briskly whispered, blushing a deep shade of scarlet. She sighed, biting her lip before resting her eyes back on the oblivious Mark, who was almost finished with his locker. If she didn't act soon, she would miss her chance.
Right away, the memory of her father's words paralyzed her.
'You know better than to ever believe any man would really want to be with you.
You're a clingy, needy, spoiled nothing who can't even do anything useful for a man in the first place. You don't even look good. Do you really think you're ever going to have a husband? Or even a boyfriend, for that matter? I think the only way I could ever see someone going out with you is if they lost a bet, or they were playing a practical joke. I can't even think of anyone's sons I know who would be even the slightest bit interested in you. Don't even bother embarrassing yourself any further, and just don't look for anyone. It's not going to happen, I swear it.'
Sarah shuddered, stuck in place, unable to shake off her father's words. She sighed sadly, feeling her heart sink,starting to turn and walk away to meet Tiffany at her car. 'Of course,' she figured, 'she probably expects me to chicken out, anyway.'
Seconds later, she was stopped in her track once more, this time by Twilight's voice.
'You know better than to believe your father's heartless, cruel words.
He just wanted to tell you those things so that you'd feel bad. He wanted to make you think you needed to be with someone that way in order to be happy, but he can't know if that's true for you. Even so, if you like Mark, you can always just ask, like the way you took a chance and asked Tiffany to be your friend a few years ago; look how well that turned out. Maybe this could be the same. If he says no, I understand if you feel hurt, but if you do nothing else, Sarah, just please believe me when I say this; you deserve to be loved, however you want to. And if this is what you want, then you deserve a chance to get it. I'll be right behind you every step of the way, no matter what happens.'
Once again, she was grateful for the ceaseless comfort of her oldest and dearest friend. She turned around, only to see that Mark was just now starting to walk away.
"Mark, wait," she exclaimed, just loud enough for him to hear.
He stopped in his tracks, recognizing her voice, and turned to face her. "Hmm?"
"Can I... Can I talk to you, for just a minute?"
Mark briefly seemed surprise, but quickly nodded. "Sure," he said, approaching her. "What did you want to talk about?"
Sarah tightly shut her eyes as she forced the words out. "I-I was thinking about it, and I realized, you know, we've met a bunch of times, just to hang out or whenever I needed help with homework or something, and, uh... I thought it would be nice to..." she forced herself to look at him. "... Wanted to know if... You might like to go to prom... With me -- prom with me," she blurted out quickly. "Go to the... You know, the... Yeah," she finished with a nervous laugh.
To her surprise, Mark's face beamed with delight.
"Why, sure! I'd love to!" he laughed happily, seeming overwhelmed with relief. He laughed for a moment, shaking his head in disbelief. "It's actually funny, I, um... I wanted to ask you, but... I was worried you'd say no..."
Sarah guffawed. "Really?"
He nodded. "Yeah!"
They laughed, and embraced each other in a hug.
Once again, Sarah was glad that Twilight was there for her.
After they graduated and turned eighteen, Tiffany convinced her mom to let Sarah move in with them until she could afford to support herself. They were close enough by now to be well aware of her father's poisonous influence, and didn't want to let her continue to suffer from it for any longer. Sarah had forgone the decision to go to college, knowing that she had no way of affording it and didn't want to get trapped in student loan debt, deciding instead to opt for just looking for a job right out of high school, even though that was easier said than done at the time. She was having a great time most days getting to spend them having fun with Tiffany and dating Mark since several months ago, on top of already daydreaming with Twilight and drawing and writing about her, but she felt bad for depending on Tiffany and her mom for everything, and wanted to provide for herself entirely on her own as soon as possible.
Gradually, Sarah spent more and more time out pounding the pavement and following up on application after application, deeply exhausted by the hours of effort she put into it every day and further demoralized by every rejection. She started to wonder if she would ever get employed anywhere, trying her best to remain optimistic for each interview that regardless seemed to inevitably end with either no answer or a flat out 'no'. It had been going on for several months now, putting her in a depression that even Twilight struggled to help her cope with, but all of her emotional anchors onto hope held just strong enough to keep her going.
She was preparing for an interview at a local retail chain. Oddly enough, she never really minded whichever job she wound up in, just as long as she could get work at all; though unfortunately, this expectation, along with her complete avoidance of college, weren't stemmed solely by low standards and a realistic outlook, but her father's emotionally stunting influence.
'You know better than to think you could ever hold down a job.
All you do is write and draw and watch your stupid pony cartoons and play video games and be on the computer all day. How are you ever going to be a productive member of society? You're a complete waste of time. A drain on everyone you meet, taking whatever you can get from them and giving nothing back. No employer is ever going to seriously consider you, you lazy, unmotivated loser. You're going to wind up on the street begging for change till the day you die, you good-for-nothing failure.'
Sarah winced, trying to resist the urge to cry and remain focused on preparing for the interview.
Just when she thought she'd be too emotionally hurt to go through with it, a familiar voice returned to encourage her.
'You know better than to believe that you're your father's definition of you.
All through school, all these years, look at all the good grades you earned just to keep him off your back. All the good behavior you showed, especially when other students and sometimes even teachers would treat you unfairly. You put up with so much pressure and sorrow, and you go out of your way to never take it out on anyone else, and you do your best to gather whatever strength you have to do what you have to. You even help out around the house now that you're living with Tiffany and her mom, even when they don't ask you to, and they're so grateful, and you do so much more than they'd ever expect. You work hard, and anyone should be able to see that. Before, you did it to get your father to leave you in peace. Now, you can do it for your own independence and happiness.'
Sarah smiled, eternally grateful to her closest, oldest friend, and continued.
After the interview, when she returned to Tiffany's car, she was crying.
They were tears of joy; she got hired.
After spending so long working and saving up money, Sarah was finally able to move into her own apartment.
Everything was great. She spent her free time doing everything she enjoyed, spending time with Tiffany and Mark, and daydreaming with Twilight and their friends in Equestria.
The only thing that was bothering her was that she was having difficulty trying to find the time to work on her art anymore. Between working, socializing, and dating, she was usually too tired by the end of the day to do anything other than relax with Twilight in her thoughts, and often spent her entire weekends with Tiffany and Mark. It was so ironic that now that she had her own place, she had so little time for herself. Even whenever she could find the chance, she was usually too wiped out to write or draw anything at all. She started to feel bad, thinking that somehow she was letting Twilight down after everything that she helped her with for all of her life.
Just as she thought that, Twilight answered to reassure her.
'You know better than to think you could ever do anything that would make me disapprove of you.
You've been a great friend to me all of your life, the way that I've tried to be to you. You're very caring, and show that same respect and dedication you showed me to all of your friends. You deserve to get to have some time to yourself to do what you enjoy. Don't do it just for me, either; do it only if it's something you know that you want to do. I don't want you to do anything for me that you really don't want to. I know it's been frustrating when you've been too tired whenever you can find time to work on your art, but just be patient with it and take it one step at a time, and you'll get there. You can always count on me to be there for you; take as much time as you need.'
Sarah sighed in relief, once again comforted by the ceaselessly kind unicorn. She took a few minutes to collect herself, retrieved her sketchbook, and started working on her latest drawing of Twilight.
'You know better.'
They were the words that followed her wherever she went, no matter what she did.
Spoken only by two voices she was familiar with for her entire life.
Whenever her father spoke them, it discouraged her from pursuing things that she knew in the end wouldn't work out for her anyhow.
Whenever Twilight spoke them, it gave her the push she needed to chase after what she knew she wanted and could possibly attain.
She just wished that she could get to a place in her life where only one voice spoke those words any more.
'How could everything that was going so good just... Fall apart like this?...'
Sarah was alone as she walked home in the evening's pouring rain.
It was the worst time of her life. Even worse than all the years in her youth she spent living with her father.
First, she found out that Mark had been cheating on her with Tiffany, and that not only was he going to leave her for her, but that neither of them wanted to be friends with her anymore. They were sick of Sarah's inability to move on from how badly her father's words had hurt her all her life, and said it was making her weigh them down too much to be able to enjoy their own lives. She didn't dare to bother arguing with them; she knew they were right.
It made her even more depressed to the point that her performance at work was suffering. She was trying to do the best she could, but just couldn't muster the same amount of effort with such low spirits. Coworkers and customers alike had called her a careless slacker, and those who knew the real reasons behind her decreased energy claimed that she was overreacting and needed to move on already. After several weeks of it, her boss fired her. She never said one word against any of them for any of it; so far as she was aware, they were right.
She had just enough savings to be able to barely scrimp by, going out of her way to keep her utility bill low, dining on only top ramen and bottled water. She knew she would have to go through the long, arduous job hunt all over again, and that it would be even tougher this time since she got fired for a poor performance. But it had only happened because of her depression. And she couldn't fix her depression unless she could work on her art. But she couldn't work on her art unless she could pay the bills. And she could only keep paying the bills for so long until she had to get a job, trapping her in a vicious cycle where she was constantly feeling unfulfilled and empty inside. She couldn't even bring herself to daydream with Twilight anymore.
But the worst part, the most painful part, was that every word her father had ever said to her seemed to be coming true.
The unicorn that had been there for her ever since she was a child was deeply worried about her, more than ever before.
'Sarah... Please... Listen to me...' she called out to her, the two of them alone on the empty, dark, raining street.
Sarah shook her head, starting to walk more briskly, further frustrating herself for letting Twilight get to her in her thoughts.
'I know things are bad right now... We've been through bad things before... We can make it out of this, together... You just need to let me be there for you... Share your pain with me, please... We're best friends, remember?... That's what friends do for each other... I want to be there for you, like you've always been there for me... We can make it through this...'
Finally, Sarah stopped in her tracks. Twilight paused, and cautiously approached her, slowly trotting up to her from behind.
'... Please... Sarah... You know better...'
The unicorn grew closer and closer, wanting to embrace her friend in a hug, waiting to hear Sarah reciprocate their friendship.
"... I do know better."
They were the words that Twilight wanted to hear... But not in the tone she wanted to hear them.
Sarah, now a young adult woman out of her teens after all the time they spent together, turned to face the Twilight in her imagination. Her face was twisted in bitter malice, the rain somehow unable to mask the fact that she was crying.
"I know better than to trust a word you say, Twilight Sparkle," she growled bitterly, pointing an accusatory finger at her.
Twilight gasped, feeling hurt.
"All this time, you got my hopes up -- got me to actually believe that things would get better... Look at this! Look at my life, Twilight!" she threw her hands in the air in exasperation. "Everything I loved, everything I worked for, it's falling apart all around me! I could be homeless or dead or worse in mere weeks! AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO TRY TO TELL ME WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS?!?" she screamed.
Twilight cowered before her, her ears lowering.
"NO! I WON'T believe your lies any more! 'Happily ever after' only exists in fiction, Twilight! There is no happy ending in real life! This isn't a fairy tale, or a children's cartoon! This is real life! *MY LIFE!***"
Twilight bit her lip, trying to keep herself from crying.
Sarah panted breathlessly, still furious. "You're not my friend, Twilight Sparkle! You're not there for me, and you never were! All you are is just a figment of my imagination! A stupid, worthless cartoon character! You can't make one difference in my life, and I can't make one in yours!" she shook her head, pulling at her hair. "I should've just listened to everything my father told me! Should have believed in what he said, instead of your lies! He might have hurt me, but YOU HURT ME WORSE BY MAKING ME THINK I COULD BE SOMETHING WHEN I'LL ALWAYS BE NOTHING! Leave me alone! Go away, and never come back!"
Twilight recoiled, starting to bawl. "B-but Sarah! We're friends!"
"YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND!!! YOU'RE NOT EVEN REAL!!!"
As soon as Sarah shrieked that, Twilight immediately vanished.
She fell to her knees, her face in her hands, sobbing ceaselessly.
A broken woman.
A broken child.
She had kept crying in the same place until it stopped raining.
Even as she stepped into the apartment she was so sure would soon no longer be hers, her and her clothes were completely soaked.
For hours, there had been nothing in her heart but melancholy. Sorrow over a pointless, wasted life, having spent so many years putting all of her emotional stock into a cartoon character. Her father really was right after all.
She was ready to just walk into her room and crawl into bed, but she couldn't. She knew what was waiting for her there. And it filled her heart with rage once more.
She slammed her hand on the counter next to her, beginning to storm to her room.
"Stupid worthless useless thing -- it's high time I finally grow up and throw her away --"
She grabbed the Twilight doll on her pillow with all of her strength, storming back outside to the garbage can, opening the lid and preparing to throw her inside...
... But, try as she might, with all her strength, she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Sarah slowly lowered the Twilight doll from overhead to directly in front of her, staring into the gentle lavender eyes that met her face every night when she went to sleep and woke up the next morning for years. For a lifetime.
The raging, furious, fed up adult wanted nothing more than to throw the doll where she felt it belonged...
... While the child inside begged her not to, knowing that it wasn't just a doll, but her best, closest and oldest friend, who was always there for her whenever she needed her, and wanted nothing more than to keep being friends with her for the rest of her life.
The two forces raged inside the woman's heart, neither of them able to overpower the other, yet unable to be silenced.
Sarah finally released an exasperated sigh of defeat. She needed to reach a middle ground until she could finally find the strength to throw Twilight Sparkle away. So, she walked back inside, put her in a corner in her closet that she never looked in, and went to sleep.
In spite of her worst fears, and what she was so sure would transpire, Sarah found another job.
The timing put her in a particularly rough patch, as she was short on funds, just barely making it by, and still didn't quite have the hours and pay she felt she needed just starting out... But, she was still able to take care of herself, living in her own place all alone.
'Now, I can finally work on my art,' Sarah thought to herself as she finally returned home for her first weekend off from her new job.
She retrieved her sketchbook and opened it, only to immediately feel disheartened. She hadn't realized that it was full of something she wasn't ready to see again. Something she couldn't stand.
Not because she hated it; she wasn't sure she could ever bring herself to. There were too many painful memories attached to it.
And so, she closed the sketchbook, and set it down, returning it where it was.
'... Okay... So... Maybe I'm not ready for that right now... That's fine... I'll just... Do something to just relax, instead...'
But, no matter what video games she'd play, or what movies or television shows she'd try to watch... None of them helped her feel better at all.
She felt completely lifeless.
The routine stretched out into days, and then weeks, and then months. She would work and then come home, and occasionally go run whatever errand she needed to for her apartment or car or whatever else would come up, and otherwise just rinse and repeat.
All of it felt so empty. So pointless.
She searched for something, anything, to explain why she was feeling the way that she did, and what she was supposed to do in order to fix it.
But she knew the real reason why.
She just didn't want to face it.
She completely ignored it, until she couldn't any more.
For the first time in more than a decade, Sarah woke up not laying in her bed, but standing in an endless sea of darkness. She looked down at her hands, finding she herself was somehow the only source of any light in the room, wherever she was. She closed her eyes, releasing a sobbing, shaky sigh, recalling that this was the exact same kind of dream she had when she actually talked with Twilight for the very first time.
She felt so guilty for how she so badly hurt her oldest friend. The only friend she had left.
She wanted to force her way out of this, to somehow will herself into waking up, but there was no escaping from this. She had suppressed it for so long, and now it was all coming back.
Sarah released a choked sob, falling to her knees as she bawled.
"I'M SORRY!!!" she declared in a heartbroken scream. Her remorseful voice echoed throughout the darkness back at her. Her cries did the same as she sank to the floor, curling up as she wept.
"I was wrong... So, so wrong... I'm so sorry..." she mumbled. "I should've known better... I never wanted to hurt you, Twilight... I didn't mean any of those things I said to you, that night in the rain... You have to believe me, please... Please... You're not just some cartoon character, or a children's toy... You aren't hurtful... You aren't a liar..."
"I know better," Twilight's soft voice cooed, forgiving her.
Sarah gasped, looking behind her, finding the unicorn standing there with tears in her eyes as well. The woman immediately sprang to her feet and hugged her oldest friend, bawling into her mane.
"I'll never do or say those things to you again... I didn't mean to... I didn't want to..."
"It's okay... You were just angry... Remember, that sometimes happens when you're angry..."
Twilight wrapped her forelegs around Sarah, returning the hug.
"... The pain your father has caused you has stuck with you your whole life... It may keep doing so for the rest of it... But it will keep you from ever being happy if you let it... You need to keep going, even if it feels like you can't take any more... It's the only way you'll ever get to live the life you always wanted... The life you always deserved... And I'll always be there for you every step of the way, just like I promised, all those years ago... You couldn't bring yourself to ever throw me away, and I could never throw you away, either... Your father wanted you to 'grow up' by denying yourself the things that make you happy... That's not growing up, that's giving up... To grow up means to grow, to feel more connected to life... Not the life that others think you should have, but the life that makes you feel alive... That lets you experience the best and happiest existence that you can, whatever that means for you and you alone..."
Sarah smiled, nodding. "Thank you, Twilight..."
Sarah woke up laying in her bed.
As soon as she realized this, she leaped out, fled to her closet, and opened the door. She immediately pulled Twilight Sparkle into a hug, sobbing against her.
For so much of her life, Sarah had been used to a routine.
Even now, that was still true, except now she had traded one routine for an entirely different one.
She still went to work and ran errands whenever she had to, but whenever she had free time, she would always enjoy herself.
Some afternoons she would do nothing but just daydream with Twilight or work on her art. Either way, she always did something she enjoyed, and whatever she felt like doing at the time.
She couldn't always afford to do what she wanted, which was when she would wait for a better time and find the next best thing in the meantime. Sometimes she even got laid off or even fired again for various different reasons, and would cut down on her art and recreational time until she would find another job, but she would always spend time with Twilight in her daydreaming whenever she returned home and could enjoy her peace and quiet.
The collection of her artwork and the memories of her oldest, closest friend grew to proportions she previously couldn't imagine over time. The weeks slipped into months, and the months slipped into years. All the while, most things had remained the same, but she was completely satisfied with that. She was nice to everyone she encountered, but spent most of her free time completely by herself, with only Twilight and their friends in her mind to keep her company. She learned not to rely on anyone but herself for her own satisfaction in life, and found that being a hermit to the outside world journeying deep within her own imagination was a much nicer life than the one she used to have.
Sarah eventually found that she even saved up enough money to start enjoying things she didn't get the chance to before, previously intending to keep most, if not all of it for emergencies like in case she needed to get a new job and keep the rent up until then, or for occasional errands, but now she had enough for all of that and so much more. She began to every now and again live a little bit more adventurously, going not just to the movie theater but to plays and other shows more often, as well as eating dinner at restaurants she enjoyed very much once a month. She would even go to theme parks once or twice a year, and eventually go on vacation cruises every few years. She even had enough to regularly give to charities and still have much left over to spare on a regular basis.
Even though all of this new, unexpected excitement only happened every so often, she was perfectly happy with a regular evening, lost in her daydreaming or revisiting her artwork. She was no longer a woman in her twenties, but still lived as though she were young at heart, and she didn't prefer it any other way.
This didn't mean things were always great, of course. A few times, her father had even tried to return in her life, claiming to be a changed man and trying to make amends for his past wrongs, but every single time his real self would eventually come out, and he would let Sarah down and she would drive him out of her life over and over again.
Others would have told her that she shouldn't cut off all contact with him, that she should forgive him for what he did, that it was so long ago in the past and that she should stay in touch just because he was family.
But she knew better.
To others, she would have seemed like such a strange person, always keeping to herself and living like she was much younger than she really was. They would have called her materialistic, not knowing that her keeping her many possessions wasn't out of avarice, but rather purely for their personal sentimental value to her.
She never tried to get her artwork out to the public with her name on it or with a price attached. She never aspired to be richer, or to be famous, or to have so many unlikely things that others might have wanted to have. It's not that she wouldn't have liked any of those things, but rather she realized she didn't need them. She was perfectly satisfied with her life exactly the way it was.
Gradually, she reached middle age, still living the same simple, yet pleasant life without growing sick of it, and growing older, still. Whenever she went to bed and held the Twilight Sparkle she had since childhood with her, she knew she might die peacefully in her sleep that night, or even some other way on any given day, and she was completely fine with that. She didn't dislike life, but rather felt so fulfilled that she didn't need anything more than what she had already experienced. Her life had become full and complete.
She wished that others could experience what she had; the thing she longed to shout on the rooftops to inform the world of, the thing that she didn't know how to put into words. To get to become so close to whomever, or whatever, was nearest and dearest to one's own heart, whether it be their inner child, their childhood heroes, their imaginary friends, or someone or something else entirely.
Even to the end, she always struck everyone around her as such a strange woman. One who never got married or had children, and never wanted to. Who wasn't close to her relatives, who didn't have any "real" friends, who simply minded her own business and did whatever she pleased as long as it didn't bother anyone else. Who lived in a way that some might have called childishly even as she grew so much older, who was what some might even consider selfish and a bad person. There were some who might have considered her life meaningless, pointless, wasted. There were some who might have thought she was always completely alone.
But she knew better.
