The Magnificent Gyre Gimbleshire
In Which The Unexpected Happens
Trixie grunted as she pushed the oversized mirror through the antique store. It was heavy and ancient, and like most of the objects within the shop it was covered in dust. The unicorn sighed wearily. Ever since the incident at Ponyville, she’d been forced to find other means of work. Currently she was employed at the Antique Boutique, a small curio shop in the backwoods town of Oakwood. She basically had to manage the entire store herself. The owner, Mrs. Bluebell, was a daft old pony who could barely do anything beyond rocking back and forth in her chair. She was so utterly forgetful that for the past three mornings she had ordered Trixie to move the same mirror from the front of the store to the back. It would have been easy if Trixie was allowed to use her magic to move it, but Mrs. Bluebell was so afraid that it would fall and break that she forbade it.
“Stupid old hag,” Trixie grumbled as she pushed the heavy looking-glass across the dusty floorboards, “Stupid mirror. Stupid everything!” She paused to catch her breath. She looked over at the cash register. Behind the counter sat Mrs. Bluebell, who was currently snoring loud enough to be heard in Canterlot. A small smile appeared on Trixie’s face. Very quietly, she used her magic to levitate the mirror above the ground. She slowly began to move it to the back of the store. The mirror hovered around the maze of old furniture. Finally it reached its destination, and Trixie set it down without so much as a thump. The unicorn trotted over to the looking-glass and gave it a smug smile.
“Well then,” she said, “That’s that.”
“What’s what?” Trixie’s eyes went wide as a loud, audacious voice spoke out of nowhere. Her head whipped around as she tried to find its source. She couldn’t spot any customers in the store. Hardly anypony ever visited anyway, so this was even less likely. Finally she looked back at the mirror. Trixie's mouth dropped open as something appeared in the glass.
She backed away as an enormous smile appeared in the glass. It was a broad, crooked grin with pearly-white teeth. The ivory crescent was jointed by two gigantic eyes. The areas surrounding the pupils were a greenish gold. The pupils themselves were large and looked like two black, obsidian disks. They sparkled iridescently in the light as the face came forward out of the mirror. For a moment Trixie felt absolutely terrified as the eyes and mouth hovered in the air.
“Pardon me,” it said in a playful tone. Suddenly the eyes and mouth were joined by the rest of the head. It was the head of a massive tabby cat, with long whiskers and dull gray fur. It wiggled its right ear, and a moment later an olive green, over-sized top-hat appeared on its floating noggin. The band above the brim was decorated with playing card symbols. Sticking out of it was a small white card that bore the number 10/6. The floating head turned to look at Trixie with keen eyes. Though there was nothing threatening about them at all, Trixie was very close to screaming like a filly upon seeing it look at her.
“For my next trick, I shall produce a body for myself,” it said, its grin never leaving its face. It wiggled its left ear. All of a sudden a large, crooked body appeared beneath the head. Its torso was short and had broad shoulders, but the limbs were somewhat longer than they should have been. The body was covered in strange clothing from a previous century. The trousers were checkered with black and white squares, and the overcoat was a bright red with shining brass buttons. It had several pockets; one of them contained a huge pocket watch affixed to a golden chain. Trixie could see a variety of other items in its numerous pockets--A peppermill, a folded-up fan, a pair of knitting needles--just to name a few. The creature looked down at her with its massive eyes.
“What day of the month is it?” asked the creature.
“The fourth,” replied Trixie, who was so amazed that she simply answered it. Suddenly the creature’s eyes grew even larger, and a panicked look spread across its feline-featured face.
“I’m late!” he cried out as he turned and ran for the door. His long coattails flew like banners as he zoomed out of the antique shop. Trixie stared in wonderment as she darted after the creature. She stood in the doorway and saw the creature running down the street as though his tail was on fire. Fearing that she might have unleashed something that would jeopardize her employment, Trixie started after the surprisingly swift creature. She was lucky that it was in the early morning of the hours, and no one except herself was awake yet. Trixie followed the creature as it ran down the cobblestone streets until it finally ended up in the town square. It suddenly stopped and looked around as if it was seeing the town for the first time. Its eyes were wide and curious, but there was also a small spark of fear within them.
“Good gracious me,” said the creature as its head rotated on top of its shoulders, “This is rather strange.” He suddenly looked up at the sky. “And what’s become of the sky? It’s blue! Blue’s a very nice color and all, but it’s not the color of Erisburg’s sky! I hope I’m not going colorblind.” By this time Trixie had caught up with him. As she approached him she suddenly realized that she had absolutely no idea as to what she was going to do. But by now she was already right next to him, so there wasn’t any time to come up with a plan. The creature’s spinning head stopped and looked at her.
“I say, dear Unicorn,” it said, “But would you please give me an explanation as to why the sky is blue?” The question caught Trixie off guard for a moment.
“It’s blue because the sky is blue,” she scoffed, “Any fool would know that.” The creature looked at her and cocked its head to one side.
“Oh, I’m well aware that the sky is blue in some places, but not in Erisburg.”
“This isn’t Erisburg!” cried Trixie.
“Oh,” said the creature, “That would explain it.” The creature seemed to actually look at her for the first time. “Who are you?”
“Trixie,” replied the Unicorn, suppressing the urge to add her usual title as ‘the great and powerful’. The creature’s smile broadened.
“Allow me to introduce myself,” he said as he tipped his hat. Trixie’s mouth fell open as his head came off along with it. “I am Gyre Gimbleshire, master magician, and renowned performer.” The moment she heard the word ‘magician’, Trixie’s ears perked up, and she completely disregarded the fact that his head was detached from his shoulders.
“Did you say magician?” she asked. Gyre set his head back on and nodded.
“Quite so,” he said, “Would you like to see a trick?” Trixie nodded her own head, and Gyre reached into his coat. His hand reemerged with a bundled-up handkerchief. In one swift motion he spread it out, and it instantly grew several dozen times its original size. Along with it came a full set of dinnerware. The cloth didn’t fall to the ground, but hovered as though there was a table beneath it. Gyre reached beneath the cloth and pulled out a chair, and then sat down.
“Would you care for some more tea?” he asked as he poured himself a cup. Trixie didn’t hear him right away. She was staring in amazement at the feat he had just accomplished. She herself was skilled in magic, but what had just transpired bamboozled her. The creature had just broken several laws of Physics in three seconds.
“I…I can’t have any more, ” she muttered, “I haven’t had any yet.” The cat-creature’s grin returned.
“You mean you can’t have any less,” he said as he pulled out another chair for her, “It’s very easy to take more than nothing, you know.” The unicorn sat down. Gyre sipped his tea and poured her a cup. Trixie wasn’t partial to tea, but she drank some all the same.
“I wish to ask as to how I ended up in a store,” said Gyre, “When moments ago I was preparing for my performance for the king.” Trixie looked over at him with wide eyes. His actions and words were beginning to make her question his sanity.
“What in the world are you talking about?” she scoffed, “That mirror has been in that store for hundreds of years. And there is no king.” Gyre looked at Trixie as though he were questioning her sanity.
“Well of course there’s a king,” he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, “If there was no king, who would keep things in disarray?” This statement confirmed Trixie’s suspicion that the creature was completely daft.
“There is no king!” she cried, “And if there was, he would keep things in order!”
“Well why would he do that?” asked Gyre as he raised an eyebrow, “That sounds sensible.”
“Of course it does!” Trixie said in frustration.
“Exactly my point,” replied the magician, “It sounds sensible. The king is not sensible.” Trixie’s face turned an interesting shade of scarlet.
“There is no king!” she roared, “There never has been, there is none now, and there never will be!” The cat-creature frowned, then grinned, then frowned again.
“Well that’s funny,” he said, “Because I was just about to go perform for him. If there’s no king, for whom am I supposed to perform?” Trixie was at a loss of words for this point, partially because she was having trouble keeping up with his twisted sense of logic, and partially because she was growing more and more infuriated with each passing moment of listening to his drivel.
“You…I…Well!” she finally said, “You are without a doubt the stupidest person I’ve ever met!”
“Really?” replied the creature, “Well that seems like quite an accomplishment. Do I get a reward?” Trixie let out a frustrated groan and started away from the table. She was only a few feet away when the Gyre’s grinning face suddenly appeared only inches from her face. She let out a startled cry.
“What-” she stammered, “You--” she turned around to see that the table was gone.
“A simple no would have sufficed,” he said, “And by the way, do you have any idea who in the world moved Erisburg?”
“I’ve never heard of Erisburg,” grunted Trixie as she pushed past him.
“But you must have,” said Gyre, “You said earlier that this was not Erisberg, implying that you know what an Erisburg is and are able to identify that this is not one.”
“Get away from me!” roared Trixie as she galloped down the street. She looked behind her to see him standing in the street looking confused.
“Wait!” he called, “Come back! I’ve something important to say!” Although she was very angry with the bizarre magician, Trixie felt a need to go back. Although he was quite mad, he was apparently a superb magician. And recently she was having trouble getting her show back on the road. Everyone had seen all her tricks, and no one wanted to attend her shows anymore. But Trixie was certain that Gyre--mad as he may be--knew tricks that would bring them from miles around. She looked over her shoulder again. Gyre still stood there. Trixie sighed and turned around, then trotted back to the cat-creature.
“What is it?” she sighed.
“Keep your temper,” said Gyre. Trixie narrowed her eyes at the magician.
“Is that all?” she asked as she tried to keep her anger from boiling over.
“No,” answered Gyre, “You seem to be troubled. Whatever is the matter?”
“The matter is you!” Trixie growled in a manner most menacing, “You’re utterly insane!” To this statement Gyre gave
her a questioning look.
“Of course I am,” he said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, (which it was) “Aren’t you?”
“No I am not!” Trixie said contemptuously. The creature continued to look at her with his huge, confused eyes.
“Why?” he asked innocently. Trixie opened her mouth to answer, but realized that she had no idea as to why she wasn’t mad. The fact that so simple a question was so hard to answer caused her annoyance, and she let out a growl.
“Have you any sense at all?” she muttered.
“Of course I do,” said Gyre, “Nonsense. It’s the best kind of sense, you know.” Trixie let out an annoyed groan, but tried to keep her cool. She might still be able to get some secrets out of him.
“So you’re a magician,” she asked through gritted teeth, “What kind of tricks do you do?” Gyre’s eyes lit up with delight as his fingers twitched excitedly.
“Let me show you,” he said as he snapped his fingers. Immediately his body faded into nothingness. His head remained, and hovered over Trixie while it grinned its manic grin. Trixie stared wide-eyed at the spectacle, although she had already seen it.
“What do you think?” asked Gyre as his head spun around aimlessly.
“Its…good,” said Trixie, “Do you have anything else?” Just as the words left her mouth, the head spontaneously grew to immense proportions. Trixie’s jaw fell once more fell open as she looked up at the smiling behemoth, which was now as big as a cloud.
“Uh…” she muttered dumbly as the floating head circled around a nearby house. Then it faded away, and the last thing to go was its grin which hovered in the air for a moment before disappearing. Trixie jumped as she felt a finger poke her back. She turned around to see Gyre standing behind her, still grinning.
“Watch this!” he giggled enthusiastically. Right before Trixie’s eyes, Gyre shrank down to the size of doornail. There was a sudden puff of blue smoke, and a blue butterfly fluttered in front of Trixie. The insect flew in a circle around the unicorn’s head before landing daintily on her horn. Then it took to the air once more before landing from where it started, and in an instant Gyre once again stood before her.
“What do you think?” he asked. Trixie did her best to appear unimpressed. Already she was feeling envious of the creatures’ apparently effortless control over magic.
“Well,” she said, “I have to admit that you are quite capable of performing a trick or two. You know, I’m a magician myself. Perhaps we could exchange some tricks of the trade.”
“You’re a magician?” Gyre said with delight, “Oh this is absolutely wonderful! We could both perform for the king!” Trixie was about to object to this statement and once again state that there was no king, when she suddenly got an idea. This idea was of a wicked sort, one that only a pony scorned could come up with. Trixie looked up at Gyre. A grin of her own spread across her face.
“Yes,” she said, “We could perform for the king. In fact, his castle is only a short journey away.”
The Magnificent Gyre Gimbleshire
Trixie trotted along with a new confidence in her stride, a break from her usual grumpy and depressed shuffling. Gyre followed behind her and seemed to be fascinated by everything he saw.
“That’s interesting,” he said as he pointed a finger at a nearby post office, “There’s a post office without any posts. Do they have off on the fourth?” He went on and on like this until they finally arrived back to the antique store.
“Don’t move from this spot,” Trixie ordered, “I’ll be right back.”
“May I come in for a mom-”
“Absolutely not,” Trixie replied, “I need to go do something of great importance, and I can’t have you screwing it up.” She turned around dramatically and trotted up the stairs into the store. The Unicorn strode right up the still-sleeping Mrs. Bluebell and rapped her hoof on the counter. When this failed to wake up the ancient pony, Trixie rapped louder. Mrs. Bluebell awoke with a start, and gazed with a sleepy, confused look on her face at the blue Unicorn.
“Mrs. Bluebell,” Trixie began, “It is with great pleasure that I am to inform you that I am terminating my employment at your, to be quite frank, atrocious establishment.” Bluebell looked at the unicorn groggily.
“I have no desire whatsoever to remain in your employment, because you’re an incompetent fool who can’t even run her own shop properly,” Trixie said in her ever contemptuous tone, “And I have much better places to be.” Bluebell’s eyes suddenly went wide. This was not because of Trixie’s scathing speech, but rather because she saw the disembodied head and hands of Gyre float in through the doorway. She said not a word, for she was quite shocked. Gyre’s feline pupils grew into huge black circles as he spotted her. He held a finger up to his smiling lips as he floated towards the other side of the shop. The hovering parts of the cat-creature eventually stopped at the mirror they had emerged from. The two hands grabbed the top and bottom of the oval looking glass, and folded it in half. Bluebell looked on in silent amazement as the hands once again began to fold it again, and continued to fold it until it fit in the creature’s palm. Then the three parts floating parts exited as silently as they had entered. All this time Trixie was still talking, completely unaware of what was going on behind her.
“And further more,” continued the blue Unicorn, “This place is absolutely filthy. I suppose the last time it was cleaned was when its wares were new. Good day!” The Unicorn stuck her nose in the air and briskly trotted out of the shop.
Trixie emerged to see Gyre putting something away in his jacket. He grinned hopefully at her.
“May we please go to see the king now?” he asked enthusiastically, “I’m very late.”
“Not quite yet,” Trixie said as she walked past him, “I need to stop at home to pick up a few things.” Gyre once again began to follow her through the town.
“As to what sort of things shall we be picking up?” he asked, “I hope they’re not heavy, whatever they are.” Trixie managed to ignore him long enough to get to the boardinghouse where she had been staying for the past few months. It was once a large and grand home, but was now in the sorriest of conditions. She trotted through the rusted iron gates and walked up the steps of the porch. She reached out and knocked three times. An annoyed look spread out across her face when it was not answered immediately.
“Where’s Reginald?” huffed the blue Unicorn.
“Who’s Reginald?” asked Gyre.
“The stupid servant who’s supposed to answer the door.” Trixie muttered under her breath.
“Answer the door?” echoed Gyre, “What’s it been asking of?” Trixie was about to turn around and give him a verbal beating when the door suddenly creaked open. There stood an ancient pony who looked very much like a skeleton.
“Yes?” he asked in a dusty voice that sounded as though it were about to go out at any moment. He became silent when his bloodshot eyes spotted Gyre. Trixie pushed her way past him and headed toward the cobwebbed stairs. Each step creaked noisily as she and her companion ascended to the second floor.
“Lovely house,” commented Gyre, “I’ll send my regards to the carpenter. How long shall we be staying?”
“We’re not,” Trixie said as she turned down a dark, cobwebbed hallway. They passed by several doors until they at last found Trixie’s room. Trixie turned the tarnished handle and opened the door to reveal a tiny room with a great deal of posters on the walls. All of them showed a different picture of Trixie, as they were advertisements for her magic show. On the dresser was a variety of objects, among them the cape an hat she usually wore when performing.
“Fascinating,” said Gyre as he examined a deck of cards, “I’m quite adept as card tricks. Would you like to see one?”
“Later,” Trixie replied coldly. Her horn began to glow as a suitcase was pulled out from under the bed. In the next instant the room’s paper décor began to remove itself from the walls, fold itself up into uniform squares, and pack itself into the suitcase. Once that was finished the drawers opened up and several clothes followed the same pattern. In a matter of moments the whole room was as bare as it had been when Trixie had first moved in.
“Let’s go,” said the Unicorn as she turned to leave. The suitcase hovered behind her. Gyre followed close behind, still glancing at everything with childlike wonder. They descended down the stairs towards the door.
“Tell Mr. Dunworth that I’m giving my notice,” Trixie quipped to Reginald as she passed him by. Reginald didn’t seem to hear her as his eyes were locked on Gyre.
“Marvelous architecture,” the feline said as he vigorously shook the pony’s hoof. With that the two magicians departed.
The moment they stepped out onto the porch, Gyre pulled out his pocket watch.
“Six minutes and forty-two seconds,” he said. Trixie paused and looked over her shoulder at him.
“What are you blathering about now?” she asked flatly.
“That’s how long we stayed there,” replied the cat creature, “I thought you said we weren’t going to be staying there.” Trixie let out an annoyed huff.
“Your weak grasp of reality both fascinates me and disturbs me,” she muttered as she started down the steps.
“You know what fascinates me?” Gyre said as he glanced back at the house, “Is that the house you lived in seems familiar. I daresay it looked like my old house. But of course, my house isn’t painted such a dreary gray. Perhaps they have the same architect.”
“Do you ever shut up?” Trixie grunted.
“Shut up?” asked Gyre, “I apologize, I’m not familiar with the term.”
“Do you ever stop talking?”
“Why yes, I did just a second ago when you talked.” Trixie began to contemplate whether or not this whole situation was a good idea, but she came to the conclusion that she herself had come up with the idea, and therefore, it was brilliant. So she and her new companion continued down the road to the edge of Oakwood.
“I shall be sad to bid farewell to such a wonderful little town,” Gyre said they left Oakwood, “But I shall also be happy to bid hello to the king. We’re very good friends, you know.”
“Right,” said Trixie, although she wasn’t actually paying attention to him. She was more focused on the pony who had humiliated her: Twilight Sparkle. She’d exposed Trixie for the liar she truly was, and had utterly destroyed her reputation. Trixie had gone from a well-known performer to a homeless and penniless beggar in less than a day. And everybody knew about it. News of an Ursa Minor tended to spread quickly, thus Trixie was the laughingstock of all Equestria. But all of that was about to change. She looked over at her secret weapon, who was currently gazing at a dandelion seed that drifted on the wind.
“Pardon me, Mr. Gimbleshire,” she said, “But may I ask you something?”
“Of course you can,” answered the feline, “You just did.”
“Right,” Trixie said as she forced a smile onto her face, “Anyway, can you teach me to do any of those tricks you showed me earlier?”
“Certainly,” replied Gyre, “What might you be interested in learning?”
“I thought that the butterfly trick was rather amusing,” said Trixie, “Could you show me how to do that?” Gyre held out his hand which had been empty seconds ago, revealing a pack of cards.
“Choose a card,” he said with a grin. Trixie hid a disappointed frown. She considered card tricks to be simple and unentertaining. All the same, she drew a card from the deck. It was the four of diamonds. She glanced back at Gyre to see him removing his hat. He then proceeded to pull out and set on the ground what Trixie considered to be the most bizarre looking rabbit she’d ever seen. It was covered in dark brown fur, and had long, crooked ears. The skinny creature’s nose seemed to be twitching at a hypersonic speed as it looked at Trixie with wild eyes. Suddenly the creature was cut from her view as Gyre draped a bright red handkerchief over it. A split second later the cloth fell to the ground. Gyre snatched up the handkerchief to reveal that the rabbit was gone. The feline reached back into his jacket and pulled out a life-size disappearing cabinet, a feat which defied the very laws of physics. The magician set the cabinet down and opened the door, revealing the rabbit. In its forepaws it held out the four of diamonds. Trixie glanced down, but found that the card had disappeared from her hoof. Gyre took the card from the rabbit and presented it to the astonished Unicorn.
“Was this your card?” asked the euphoric feline. Trixie looked up at him and tried her best to hide her envy. The very way he manipulated magic mystified her. How he managed to do it without ever using any special gestures or words went against everything Trixie had known about her craft.
“Yes,” she said with hollow enthusiasm, “That was a very…interesting trick. Would you please show me how you do it?” Gyre cocked his head to one side and raised an eyebrow.
“Weren’t you paying attention? I just showed you how. Really now, it’s not that hard to follow, is it?” Trixie’s eyes went wide with disbelief.
“What?” she cried angrily, “What do you mean I wasn’t paying attention? You didn’t explain anything to me!” The unicorn’s face grew red with anger, which Gyre, as usual, did not pick up on. Instead he sighed wearily and looked up at the sky.
“Alright, I’ll show you once more, but please pay close attention. Let’s begin with the cards.” He handed the deck to Trixie, who was watching him like a hawk.
“What next?” she mumbled.
“Do you have your rabbit ready?” asked Gyre, “The rabbit’s very important.”
“I…I don’t have one,” Trixie replied quietly. Gyre gasped incredulously.
“No rabbit?” he cried, “I suppose you‘ll be telling me you don‘t have a disappearing cabinet next?”
“Well of course I don’t!” snapped Trixie, “Does it look like I have one?” Gyre sighed and snatched the cards away from Trixie’s hoof.
“I can’t teach those who are unwilling to learn,” he chided as he crossed his arms, “If you’re going to be my apprentice, you must come properly prepared.” Trixie’s face grew hot with fury. Her patience had finally worn away.
“Your apprentice?!” she shrieked with disbelief, “You think that I want to be your apprentice?!” Gyre’s look of reproach suddenly melted away into a grin of delight.
“I do?” he asked happily, “How wonderful. Why, I think you’ll do marvelously. Shall we set up a training schedule?” Trixie let out an infuriated scream as she turned around and began to march away from the feline.
“This is such a waste of time!” she growled through clenched teeth.
“If you knew Time as well as I do, you would never talk about wasting it. Time is a him.” said Gyre as he started after her.
“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Trixie spat venomously.
“Of course you don’t,” Gyre said as he tossed his head back contemptuously, “I dare say you never even spoken to Time!”
“Shut up!” snarled Trixie.