Tale of Three

by Tangle280

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 1820

The Ongoing Collaboration of two idiots telling the story of three idiots This is a work of fan fiction using ideas, characters, situations, and places found in Hasbro Studio's series "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" No copyright

The Ongoing Collaboration of two idiots telling the story of three idiots

This is a work of fan fiction using ideas, characters, situations, and places found in Hasbro Studio's series "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" No copyright infringement is implied and this is just made as a way to release some creative energy. Thank you and good-bye.

King

"All and all I think we did pretty well"

"At what? Killing innocents, ruining the image of Equestria forever for everyone, causing everyone to hate us, or getting banished?"

"All of the above, I think we fucked ourselves pretty well"

"Well I thought it was fun."

"…..Shut up Steve"

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-16 05:32:47 UTC

Well, where to begin?

"War. Torment. Destruction. Death. On a battlefield in a place unknown, a world unheard of, and nation unseen. Three souls sit alone amongst the rubble of a civilization long past and…"

    “What are you doing?” Spoke one to his companion, annoyance was an expression he held well. He spoke as if he had been working since birth and his body language seemed to prove this to be true. A scythe upon his back and cloak he wore well. The cloak he used to cover his form seemed to keep all that he was a secret from the world.

“I was preparing to tell our tale and what better than a long-winded opening with a bunch of big words and random statements that make up for the fact that the beginning to our story is kind of boring.”  Spoke the more energetic soul, alone in his energy and did not let his situation keep him down. He wore the garb of a king yet spoke as if of common birth and even in silence he seemed to dare the world to speak against him.

"Well, I think it wouldn't be boring if you two just smiled while you are trying to tell the story", the dumb one chuckled. "Smiling is important."

The two solemn entities looked at him with an icy stare, "You are a fucking idiot!", they yelled in unison. "They can't tell if we are smiling or not. We are just disembodied voices until we have a long flashback that explains how we got here."

"They can tell if we are smiling. Also, what does 'disembodied' mean?"

"It means we are just voices for now."

"Oh.... so what happened to our bodies?"

"We still have them, idiot."

"But, you just....."

"Shut up! For the love of Luna! Shut the hell up!", the other entity shouted. "We are narrators of our story. Nothing more. Nothing less. So.. now will you shut up so we can start?" He stared at both of them with an intense gaze. "Now... where was I......... Ah! Got it!"

"War. Torment. Destruc..."

"You already said that.", the energetic one said.

"Mother Fucker!"

“Calm your ass, I got this. Now this all began with something really stupid and I regret it to this day….”

“Mother Fucker!” Screamed a man, a man who just got his ass kicked at Soul Calibur 5. The other two in the room laughed at his apparent pain though for different reason.

“Dude, you act like you actually have a chance against me in this game. Now it’s just getting sad.” Spoke his closest friend who was swiftly silenced by a well-placed jab to the side, all the while across the room was the much more simple member of the group. He only laughed and yet that seemed to anger his friend more and more, but with a pat on the back and a shit eating grin the man found the real reason for his pain. The one who had caused it, both virtual and in reality somehow.

“Ah, it’s ok Tom. I’m just better than you.” Spoke the darker skin man who had been the victory of the day many a time yet seemed unsatisfied, unpleased by his victory. He wanted a complete win and though his friend gave it his all it wasn’t enough. As his eyes set on the rooms other occupant, still laugh, still happy, still had yet to even give him a single chance to crush him like he had the other. He had to have his shot, he had to beat this one annoyingly happy opponent and he knew just how to do it.

“Come on, let’s go again” Ah there it was, an offer he could not refuse.

“Nope.” and yet he had other plan for this upcoming bout. “I’m not playing again unless Steve joins too.” That didn’t end the laughter nor did it make Steve pick up his controller. He just started to giggle and say

“No thanks, I’m good”

“Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“Nah, Brandon. I’m not really in the mood.”

“Come on, don’t be a pussy.” Tom said while Brandon had already picked the online lobby for the game and was waiting for Steve to fold. They went back and forth in the background of Brandon’s mind until something caught his eye. It was only a name nothing special, yet it seemed to draw him in and before he knew it he was in a lobby with only one other person.

“SoothingLyre?” Brandon spoke aloud gaining the attention of the other two.

“What?” Tom asked and Brandon simply pointed at the screen he leaned forward and saw username and just mouthed ‘Wow.’

“I like that name.” Steve said

“Shut up Steve.” The other two said on reflex. As they waited for their opponent to ready up they got a message.

Are you Human?

Brandon looked at Tom, confused and he just gave him the same look back. Brandon just shook his head and messaged back

No, I’m an Asari from Mass Effect. Now stop asking stupid questions and ready up.

Almost immediately came her response

No need to be so pissy. I just wanted to know what species you were before I kicked your ass.

“Oh, now you done fucked up bitch.” Brandon said to the screen as Tom just watched on and Steve took his spot next to his friends in front of the T.V. As the match was set, characters chosen, and maps selected they began their duel. Brandon put on his mic and waited a few seconds before saying.  “Before I wipe the floor with you I have to ask, What made you ask that question? What other animal waste there time kicking ass at video games other than humans?”

It took a few minutes but eventually he heard the sound of a mic coming to life and heard a voice that would surprise any gamer. A girl spoke back to him

“I was curious and hey who said you were going to kick my ass. If you would look at my record it reads 100-0, you’re just another noob to me.” That got Brandon mad

“Well then, time to show you WHO the noob really is!” With that the two characters flew at each other and the sounds of swords clashing and buttons being pressed at high speeds filled the room. Both player would break grabs, just impact strikes, and drop combos only to get comboed until the first death cry was heard and Brandon’s character fell.

“Dammit!”

“Ha told you you were a noob.”

“Fuck you! It’s not over yet!” Brandon calmed himself and decided to fight defensively and by that he just block until he saw an opening then abused the shit out of it. SoothingLyre fell and Brandon cheered.

“HA!! Bow to the King BITCH!”

“Whatever, you got lucky”

“‘It’s not luck when you’re this good.”

“Fine. If you’re sooooo good, then you wouldn’t be against a little wager.” At this Brandon smiled, of course a small part of him felt like he was being played but right now he was too determined to care.

“What’s the bet?” For a second you could almost hear a smile on the other end of the mic.

“Loser does whatever                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          the winner says.” When she said this Tom sighed

“No one would take that deal.”

“Deal, and you can boss my friends around too.”

“Goddammit.” Tom just rubbed his head at his friend dragging him into a stupid situation all the while Steve just looked overjoyed by this turn of events.

“Steve why are you so happy?”

“Because, Brandon seems to be having fun.”

“But just drag us down with him should he lose.”

“Oh I’m sure Brandon will win.”

"What's the wager?"

"When I win, you have to come see me in person no matter what the circumstances are and you have to let me study you"

"What do you mean by study?"

"Dude, she's insane", Tom whispered

"I heard that, ass. Also, you have to meet me too."

"What!? Since when did I get involved"

"Since now", she giggled.

"What do you you mean by 'study'?"

"Oh nothing bad, I assure you"

"Fine", Brandon agreed.

The time for talk was over. Both players started to fight and trade blows. SoothingLyre was on the attack and forcing Brandon into a corner. Soon, Brandon started to mash buttons, in hope to hit SoothingLyre. "Damn, I thought you were bad before, but now this is just embarrassing.", she mocked. With one final hit, Brandon's character fell down in defeat, "No! How'd I lose?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I get to see to humans!", SoothingLyre cheered gleefully.

"Umm... have you been living alone for a very long time? I mean, you're fangirling pretty hard over two guys."

"Oh, you'll see why when you get here."

"But, we don't know how to get there and even if we did, we're not really going to come meet you."

"You are coming here, whether you want to or not. I am going to prove the existence of humans by any means necessary."

"What the fuck!? Stop with that! You're trying to psyche us out or something?"

"No, I'm just a simple mare that is obsessed with humans."

The three friends started to laugh hysterically at the girls statement. "A 'mare'!? A 'MARE'!? Hahahaha!"  Tom chuckled, "You're insane. Let me guess, your name is Lyra! Hahaha!" She snorted,"Yes, my name IS Lyra."

"Yeah right", Steve held his stomach as he laughed endlessly.

"Are you serious!? You must not be able to separate fiction from reality! You think that you're a character from MLP? You have to be joking. I know they're insane people out in the world, but you take the cake! Go back to your world of silly little technicolor ponies and 'trot' along."

"Shut up! Geez, humans are assholes..."

"No shit!"

Suddenly, there was a teal pulsating bubble in front of the television.

"What?"

Steve stuck out his hand and touched it. "Woah.. it feels tingly and bubbly too."

"What!?"

"Why would you touch it if you don't know what it is?", Tom asked with a sigh.

The teal bubble started to swirl and was becoming a wormhole.

"WHAT!?", Brandon shouted as he was being dragged in by the gravity.

He quickly grabbed Tom's leg and shouted, "You were dragged into the wager and now I'll drag you with me!" Steve ran over and caught Tom's arms. "Asshole, let go!"

Lyra squealed, "Three humans! Three humans!"

The three friends finally got sucked into the vortex and.....

"You suck at telling the story."

"Well, fuck you. I’d like to see you do better.” Brandon said

“Fine, maybe I will.”

“Then do it.”

“I will.”

“FUCKIN DO IT!”

“I WILL!!”

“I could do it.”

“SHUT UP STEVE!!!!!!”

"And then, everyone had cake and ice cream! The End!", Steve cheered.

"God damnit!"