Some Love

Discord paused. He had been on his way across the ruins of the palace, heading towards the center with Meredith behind him, when he came across something that had made him freeze in place. The place where he was standing was just another barren, desolate patch of earth, save for one major detail: there was a ditch full of rocks here. Crumbled, broken marble, pieces of clay that had broken away, even some of the natural rocks. Laying here, in the middle of the ruins, was something that didn’t fit.

“Meredith, why do you think they put a tub of cold shrimp here, right in the middle of the bathroom?” Discord asked the mop.

Meredith said nothing, for she was a mop.

“I mean, it honestly cannot be sanitary,” Discord said, walking around the pit and giving it cold, unforgiving looks. “Perhaps there is someone who brought it in from the kitchens, as a joke? Well, as a master of tricks myself, I can say this one is neither clever nor funny! I’ll have to have a word with whoever did this...”

Discord walked right over to a large rock, and knocked on it with a talon. “Hello? Anypony in there? I know it must be distressing to be interrupted on the john, but honestly! Cold shrimp? In the bathroom? I must say, that’s an offense to chaos! It’s lazy, it’s annoying... it’s just a plain waste!”

Discord turned her head around, and looked at Meredith. “Do ponies even eat shrimp, Meredith?”

No response.

“See, I thought so. Listen here, you,” Discord said, turning back to the rock and jabbing it. “You’ve got some explaining to do here! You’ve gone and wasted the lives of perfectly good shrimp on this shoddy attempt at disjointed trickery! As the God of Chaos himself, I am quite wounded that you would even do such a thing? This is utter nonsense, absurd and trite! This ‘attempt’... why, I could hardly call it as such!”

Discord stared at the rock, brow furrowed and scowl present. “You refuse to answer me? Have it your way—I’m coming in!”

Discord weaseled his paw and talon under the rock, and with a grunt, lifted it up. Flipping it on its back, the miffed spirit walked right into the place where it had once been.

The ground was not cracked here, although it was just as dry as everywhere else. Still, it was a smooth, compact clay, and some moisture way have been hidden inside.

“Wh-Why... Meredith, so you see this?” Discord’s mouth fell open, and he dropped to his knees, feeling the ground before him. “Nothing here! No one home! Well, I suppose I am relieved in one way, but...” He narrowed his eyes. “This still annoys me greatly. I’m sorry you have to see me like this, Meredith, but... I must find out who has done this!”

Discord turned right around, and walked over towards the ditch. “And what better way than to defeat their prank by consuming it? They’ll never be suspecting it, I can assure you!”

Discord looked at Meredith, and then twirled his talon, spinning her around. “You don’t need to see this, darling. It will certainly be shameful...”

Discord plunged his paw into the rocks, gravel, and chunks of marble, and pulled up a decent amount. He quickly shoved it all into his gullet, and began to chew without much fanfare, loud crunching and grating sounds echoing around the nearby ruins. With a dry heave, Discord swallowed the detritus, and stuck his tongue out in displeasure.

“It becomes immediately apparent why ponies aren’t fond of shrimp in the first place,” Discord said, blanching as his tongue ran over his teeth, a bit of marble falling out. “The texture is pleasing, and I can taste individual hints of sensations that I enjoy, but... together, mashed and mixed, I simply cannot stand it!”

Discord looked down at the rocks again. “But, if I am to show up that poor imitator, I must take one for the team!” He paused, and stroked his beard, pondering that thoughtfully. “Yes, I quite like that... Team Chaos, with you and I as leaders, Meredith! And perhaps Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy as sub leaders if they felt so inclined.”

Discord cleared his throat, and shook his head, staring down into the pit. The task at hand demanded his attention now. Plunging both his talon and his paw into the ditch, he pulled up ample amounts of the earthen rubbish and shoved them into his mouth, gagging a bit as he did so.

He did this for quite some time, well over ten minutes at least. He shoveled fist after fist of the rocks into his mouth, gravel, marble, and clay alike all disappearing into his gullet. He choked and blanched, gagged and groaned, but the draconequus was determined. He only stopped when his belly began to bulge, lumpy and distended from the sheer amount of earth he had eaten.

“See... now where is your prank, you lackluster impersonator?” Discord forced out with a breathless gasp. The ditch was now about half full, certainly much lower than it had been.

Discord slumped onto his side, clutching his aching belly. “Oh, Meredith... what have I become? I thought I was mature, that I had evolved from this, and what do you find me doing at the slightest sign of provocation? Eating myself sick with something I dislike, just to show what is likely a foal up at my own game... I’ve let pettiness consume me, darling, just as I consumed this shrimp.”

Discord unbuttoned his suit, letting his belly be free of the tightened confines. “Ah, much better. I do believe I will be paying for this later tonight...”

He payed at the ground with his talon, and closed his eyes in frustration. “Oh, how am I to show up Celestia now? I can barely stand, let alone strut my stuff? Meredith, please, help me find my strength...”

Meredith did no such thing, as she was an inanimate object; however a bright light soon filtered through his eyelids, which caused him to open then cautiously, squinting into the blinding light.

“M-Meredith? What is that? Can you see?”

Discord sat up, letting out a groan as the rocks ground against his inside. He squinted harder, holding his paw like a visor to shield his vision.

What he saw in the light made him make another noise, not unlike a small puppy being stepped on.

“Celestia?”