Why You Cried
by elPossenreisser
I touch down on your new balcony. I’m not actually exhausted, like some lesser pegasi would be, but the flight was kinda long. I shake out my wings and give them some stretching. I can spare the time, because obviously I made the distance in record time. It’s not like I’m hesitating or anything.
I can see you sitting at your desk inside, probably reading some massive tome of eggheadiness. You and your all-nighters. Good thing you’re still up. I knock, and you jump. Hehe. It’s not like this is the first time I’m knocking at your door late at night, and you always jump. You turn around and stare at me with wide eyes. Surprise, Twi!
You almost run towards me while flinging the door open with your magic. I’m bracing for impact, but you stop in front of me.
“Rainbow?” you ask.
I say, “Hey, Twi.”
You stare at me like I’m the last pony you would’ve expected to see. Then, before I can even begin to explain, you launch yourself at me and hug me. I hug you back. It’s a pretty cool hug.
“What are you doing here?” you ask. Is it just me or are you trembling?
“Forgot your bracelet at my place,” I say. And by the way, Twi—why did you cry?
***
In your letter you had written that you’d be in the region on some princessy business, and if I’d mind you visiting on your way back. Why would I! I mean, not that finally being a Wonderbolts rookie isn’t super awesome, but yeah, I guess during my first few weeks in Trottingham, away from home, I kinda missed all of you.
I picked you up at the station. I was super excited to see you again. Not that I’ve been lonely or anything—my roommates, Cloudchaser and Sunshower Raindrops, are both really cool, but it’s still not the same as with the old Ponyville gang. I guess I do miss home sometimes, at least when I’m not super exhausted from Spitfire’s training sessions. No shame in that—Ponyville is awesome, and it’s totally cool to miss it.
“Hello, Rainbow Dash!” you said, grinning, and pulled me into one of those embarrassingly big hugs, with wings and everything. I didn’t mind. I was too happy to see you.
“Hey Twi,” I said and hugged you back. “Cool thing that you’re here!”
What’s really cool about you being a princess now is that we can fly together, so we took the scenic route back to the apartment. I mean, I still have to go easy on you, speed-wise, but it beats hoof-slogging. We talked all the way. You told me of your visit to some tribe in Griffonia, which sounded really exciting, and I showed you some of the tricks we’ll do on our tour in October—we’re not supposed to, but Spitfire also told us that additional workout is what separates a lead pony from a civilian. Besides, it was just too good to have you cheer me on, like in the old times back in Ponyville.
***
“Can I get you some tea?” you ask. Yeah, tea would be great. I may have forgotten to bring something to drink on my flight. I was in a hurry after all. And on the way I kinda didn’t think about it. But now that you mention it, yeah, I’m really thirsty.
Downstairs, to the kitchen. You don’t say anything, which is probably cool and you’re probably just tired. You put the kettle on, facing the counter. I could just ask you now, “Twilight, why did you cry?” But I guess there’ll be more opportunities for that. No need to hurry.
“I’m really glad you came,” you say, still not facing me. I know you are. Glad. I mean, I hoped you’d be. Still, it’s cool. “Did you fly yourself?”
“Meh, no biggie.” No more than like eight hours. Foal’s play for a pro such as me. You should know that. I stretch my wings.
You chuckle—not sure what’s so funny about it, but it beats your super glum mood by far. “You know you could have taken the train, right?” Aha, so that’s what’s so funny? Joke’s on you, though. I stopped at the station and checked the schedule; I woulda been here in like four hours.
It’s good to be back here. I missed that. The banter and stuff.
***
I took you to that pub on High Street. The cider is decent. I mean, obviously not a match for AJ’s, but it’s okay. Me and Sunshower and Cloudchaser sometimes go there and play billiards. Here’s a thing I really like about you, though: you still play me, even after the bazillion times I’ve beat you.
After a few games you asked if I’d mind going home. I guess you had enough of getting your flank handed to you. So we returned home. As cool as billiards is, I didn’t mind the idea of having you, like, to myself or something, and not in a noisy pub.
We sat in our super messy living room. I mean, I’m not the most orderly pony, but this place is really insane. Cloud and Sunshower told me it’s been used by previous Wonderbolts rookies as well, and they just left their junk there. There’s a freaking life-sized stuffed muskrat staring out of the window, for Celestia’s sake! And I really don’t wanna know about most of the stuff in the hallway.
You brought me up to speed with all the stuff that’d happened in Ponyville since I’d left, at least the stuff I didn’t know already. Pinkie had been going on and on about Rarity’s latest visit and her new girl, that Coco Pommel, in her daily letters. But yeah, still, it was fun hearing the everyday stuff, such as Scootaloo totally rocking the school talent show with her scooter tricks. At some point you almost passed out mid-sentence, and we just went to sleep.
***
“Do you have a place to stay here?” Not really, it’s not like I planned all this. I was kinda in a hurry, you know? Well, you don’t. Still. So I shake my head. “You’re not flying back home tonight. You can stay here with me. There’s plenty of room here.”
“Thanks, Twi, that’s cool.” I mean, I totally could fly back to Trottingham tonight, but I rather wouldn’t. After all, I haven’t even asked you. About the crying and stuff. It’s not too bad to have a bit of extra time, I guess.
“Are you leaving tomorrow?”
Actually, I don’t have to. I got a few days off before I have to be back for training. I wouldn’t mind spending some time here. With you. And the other girls. “I was thinking I’d make it a couple of days, if that’s cool with you.” If that’s cool with you? I sound like Fluttershy!
You smile at me. Your first genuine smile tonight. “That’d be great! We can have breakfast at Sugarcube Corner tomorrow, and the others will be so happy to see you.” You clap your hooves in excitement. “Oh, Rainbow Dash, I’m so glad you came by,” you say again.
Gee, way to crank up the sappy, Twi! But you’re actually kinda cute when you go into full-on excitement mode. And I’m quite happy about a short vacation at home myself, so I guess I can let this one slide.
“Is it okay if I put up a second bed in my bedroom?” you ask sheepishly. “The guest rooms aren’t really prepared. There may be the remains of a highly volatile alchemy experiment covering the walls of the one on first floor…”
Seriously, after I let you crash in that train wreck of an apartment I have no right to be picky. “That’s cool.” It’ll be like a sleepover.
***
It sucked that I had a training session the next day. I would’ve liked to show you around a bit, go flying with you some more or something, but rookies who skip practice get booted faster than you can say “Gimme twenty!” So you went out on your own. I think you did the touristy things like the cathedral and the old cemetery and stuff.
When I got home you were already back. You had brought takeout from my favorite hayburger place, and after Spitfire’s torture I was really glad to find dinner waiting for me. I could get used to that I guess.
We hung out in the sitting room, but I was really knackered and I think I dozed off. When I woke up I was leaning on you, and you were reading a book and stroking my mane. You’re like literally the only pony alive who’s allowed to do that; I’d never hear the end of it if anypony else knew! But yeah, it was kinda nice. You’re quite comfy too. You grinned at me, even though I didn’t even move when I woke up.
I kept dozing off a few more times, and every time you were still there, reading and stroking. I wouldn’t have minded staying like that, but you said something that unless we were gonna share the sofa, I’d rather go to bed or something like that.
***
I can’t sleep. It’s not the bed; heck, I can sleep on anything if need be! It’s just that you’re tossing and turning like crazy. What’s up with you? You’ve been super antsy all night, right when you weren’t all giddy about me staying for a few days. And I still don’t know why you cried. How’s a pony supposed to sleep with all that stuff going on in her head?
“Thanks again for coming,” you say softly.
“Well, I, I had to return your bracelet,” I mumble. “Wonder what it was doing on that messy table anywhere. Like halfway under that old lampshade.” Why am I stammering like a foal? Must be the sappiness again.
You mutter something. Didn’t quite catch that.
“Come again?”
Just a bit louder, but this time I get it. “I left it there.”
You left it there? What? Why would you? “Why would you?”
You still speak super softly and I practically have to lean in so I don’t miss it. Gee, Twi, speak up! “I left it there… as a promise. A promise that we’d see each other again. I figured, if I left it there, I’d have to come visit you again.”
What in the—why—how does that even make sense? Why do you need your bracelet to promise that you’d visit me again? Why not just come by whenever you feel like it? How does a bracelet promise anything? It can’t even talk! “I don’t get it. Why would… why wouldn’t we see each other again?”
“I know it’s silly,” you say hoarsely. “It’s stupid. I just—you’ll be all over Equestria with the Wonderbolts. Rarity is in Manehattan almost constantly now to watch over her new venture with Coco Pommel. I’m busy being a princess. I was just worried that we’re drifting apart. I was scared.”
Damn straight that’s silly! Drifting apart, as if that’s ever gonna happen. Not if I get a say in this! After all the stuff we’ve been through! So typical of you to get all worked up about something that isn’t even a thing.
But wait—could it be that…? Is that why? That would be… good, I think. Because it means you don’t really have a reason to be sad and all. I guess I should ask you. Like, now. As in, now now. Why is this so hard? It’s what I came for! Finally, I manage. “Is that why you were crying?”
You gasp. “You know?”
***
When I came home from training today it was literally the first time I could catch some breath since you’d left the day before. Spitfire’s been super brutal those past two days. As if it weren’t enough that I couldn’t even see you off when you left.
So I got home this afternoon. I could’ve used a nap, but I was still too pumped to sleep after that training session. So I just wandered around a bit in the sitting room to have a look at all that junk. Yeah, yeah, I know we shoulda gotten rid of that stuff already. We totally will.
Anyway.
That’s when I found your bracelet on the table, under that ridiculous Discord-shaped lampshade. At first, I was, huh, what’s a bracelet with Twi’s cutie mark engraved on it doing here, but then I recognized it. No clue really when, but you showed it to me once, and told me how Princess Celestia gave it to you for your birthday when you were a filly, I think?
I was just about to wonder what it was doing on our table when I heard Sunshower come in. She said hi and asked me, “Is everything alright with your friend?”
“Of course, why you ask?”
“It’s, um.” She hesitated. I think I knew by then already that something was up. “I walked into her yesterday morning. She was sitting on the couch, and she was crying.”
I’m guessing that must’ve been after I’d left for training, and you were about to go off to the station. But why’d you cry? I asked her.
“I dunno,” she said. “I didn’t wanna disturb her, y’know? She was just sitting there by herself between her bags and stuff, and she was crying quietly. I figured she wanted to be left alone, so I just backed outta here and went to my room. When I came out again to grab something to eat she was gone.” She looked at me. “Do you know what’s wrong with her?”
I just shook my head. I was, like, completely stunned. As in, I was worried if everything was okay. With you. If you maybe needed somepony to talk to or something. There was no time to waste, though, so I just grabbed the bracelet and came dashing here as fast as I could.
***
“So, um is that why you were crying? Us drifting apart?” I ask once more. ‘Cuz that’d be silly, y’know.
“Yes, that’s why,” you say hoarsely. That is… great, I think? I got my answer. It means there’s no actual reason for you to cry. It means everything is cool. It means there’s nothing wrong with you. That’s good. Right?
Then why doesn’t it feel like it’s good? Why am I not relieved?
Before I can figure this out, you say, “Actually, no. It wasn’t the reason.” Why’s your voice shaking? It’s like you’re about to cry again. And you didn’t cry because you think we’re drifting apart, which woulda been good because it’s just silly, and now you almost cry because of some other reason I don’t know, and… augh! That doesn’t even make sense! I shake my head, then I sit up and stare over to your bed.
“Rainbow, I…” you stammer. You take a deep breath. “I cried because I was sad to leave you.” You’re whispering now. Dammit, it’s hard enough trying to make sense of all this without having to focus on your every word just so I hear them! You continue, “It was so great seeing you again, and it hurt having to leave you. Knowing I wouldn’t see you for Celestia knows how long. Because… because… “
How is this any different from what you just said? What are you getting at? Spit it out already! This is killing me! I need to know this! I need to know if you… what this is about! Because, um. Because I’m worried. About you. Yeah. So worried that I… shiver?
Come on, Twi, just end this already, please!
You take another deep breath. Are you sobbing over there? Don’t! Because, whatever the reason is—
“I’m in love with you, Rainbow,” you say.
What.
You are in love. With me. How does that even—? What do you—? I mean. Wow. That’s like, just wow. I don’t even know what to say. Well, nopony would after such a bomb was dropped on them.
But you continue. “I—I wanted to tell you when I was visiting you, but I was scared it would ruin our friendship, and we were having such a nice time together, so I thought I’d rather enjoy what we have and not make things awkward, and then when I was about to leave and I didn’t even know when I would see you again, I—it just became too much I guess.” Another sob. “I’m sorry. And now I made you fly all the way back here just because I’m being silly, and everything’s going to be super awkward, and—and—“ Then sobs.
I can’t think about this with you sobbing. I gotta make you stop! I do the only thing I can think of and dash over to your bed, pulling you into my arms while lowering myself halfway onto you. You cling to me as if I just saved you from falling to your death, and you cry into my coat. I have no idea what to say, so I just hold you and stroke your mane.
How can I tell you that there’s no reason to cry? That things aren’t gonna be awkward. That I’m not mad about what you said. Or that I came here today. That this isn’t gonna ruin our friendship. Because nothing could. Ever.
It’s still kinda nice holding you though. That hasn’t changed either because of what you just told me either. If anything, it’s, I dunno… cool. Exciting. You have those feelings for me, and I’m holding you. It’s pretty cool, actually. I don’t know if this means we’re gonna be all lovey-dovey now, but I guess we can, like, find out? Together. And figure it out as we go?
But you’re still crying. How can I tell you that there’s no reason to? All these weird feelings and thoughts. It doesn’t even make any sense inside my stupid feathery head, so how am I going to make sense to you? You could. You know all the words. I don’t.
So I’m gonna do without words, then.
I kiss you. You freeze in my arms, but only for a second. Then it’s like you’ve turned into cloud stuff, and you return the kiss.
We break the kiss. If this is what figuring things out is gonna be like, then wow! This is gonna be awesome! Good thing I got a few days to spare. I wiggle underneath your blanket and rest my head on your shoulder. You’re still super comfy.
“Night, Twi,” I whisper.
“Night, Rainbow,” you reply.
Author's Note
Oh dear, fanceh perspective shenanigans.
Please feel free to tell me if you think I'm being a pretentious turd for this, or actually any kind of C&C.
Either way, I don't think I'll try and get into Rainbow's head again any time soon. That place is a mess.
