Spike and Twilight sit wrapped in each others embrace. Twilight sleeps sound against his body while Spike stares into the flames of the fire in front of them. He hasn't been getting much sleep. Things have been on the mind. A lot of things.
He's been talking more and more to his own kind and they've said some... disturbing things about all of this. When he tries to ask Twilight what she thinks she seems to feign away from the conversation or change it into something else. So he's stopped trying to push the answers out of her.
Obviously she knows some truth about her special situation. But whether the dragons are telling the truth our not...
He takes a deep breath trying to clear his mind. He looks down at Twilight and strokes her mane. Just looking at the mare he loves makes him cringe inwardly. It makes him want to cry and rage. Every time the thoughts come through his mind he just wishes that if they knew they wouldn't have tried. They wouldn't have started.
Now. Now all this is going to happen. And their might not be anything to stop it. There is one thing that Spike over heard, but that option is out of the question. He wouldn't dare stoop to that. No matter what.
He wants to discuss it with her. He really does. But he can't bring himself to try to force her to keep to the same topic. The look on her face. It says it all. She knows something that she isn't letting out. He wants to know. He has to know. If only for their sakes.
Such thoughts are why he hardly sleeps and more. Even though he keep to his still happy and fun self it takes more out of him than he realized. Just the other day at one of Pinkie's parties he nearly had a fall out with some pony he didn't even know. He doesn't even remember why. Just some words were said and he was so close to nearly ripping his head off.
After he left Rarity came to him and talked to him. At that moment he confessed some things to Rarity. She kept silent and listened to him rant. He yelled, crying, and even laughed bitterly. After he was down he just laid there against a tree. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to face the future.
Rarity said other wise. she talked to him. Helped him believe more in himself and his and Twilight's future. Those words will forever stick in his mind. He didn't want to, but he had to. He had to keep pushing towards the future and learn and do everything he can.
And now. He can learn something. Something that Twilight won't tell. He knows about her journal in which she writes everything in. He figures that will be what will tell him all he needs to know.
He looks down at Twilight and than towards the stairs behind them. He leans down and kisses her forehead and quietly move to release himself from her hold. He rises and looks at her again. He trusts her. He really does. But now he wonders when, or if, he gets caught will she still trust him. Only time will tell.
And he hopes he gets the answer he wants.
He walks away and heads up the stairs. He keeps his steps soft and takes the caution of his claws against the wooden floor. Up the stairs he ascended till he reaches the top. He looks back and listens. He can still hear the soft breathing of his lover. Which satisfy him.
He walks to their room and begins his search. Under the bed, in the closer, the drawers, and predictable place where she would keep it hidden. To his dismay he can't find anything or even a hint about where it may be. He stops in front of the mirror and stares at his reflection. He figures it might be hidden from sight behind some type of magic thing. A thing he's learned about dragons is that dragons have a strong resistant to magic that increases more and more as they age. Spike reaches forward and tapes the mirror. Nothing happens. He presses a claw against the window and hopes it phase through or something, but he gets nothing.
He shakes his head. The night is still young.
It feels like hours. But it only took minutes. In his claws he holds a journal. He had to go to Twilight's private library. It was hidden behind some books, something he wished he had thought of checking earlier, and now he has the chance to finally see what she has kept hidden from him. Cracking open the journal reveals a warning.
Soul property of Twilight. If found do not read and bring to me immediately. If found read. Well. Just know I warned you.
Spike snickers to himself. She was always big on doing threats but weather she goes through with them. Could be anypony's guess. Flipping through the pages he looks for the most current entry. On the page the title begins with Today.
Today I finally announced that I was pregnant to everybody. They all took it fairly well. Pinkie through a huge party in mere seconds, as always. I couldn't believe how warm they accepted the news. I had expected them to be appalled to even reject the idea. But it makes me so happy to have so many friends who will accept me.
Though. I'd like to say it was one of the best days I've recently had, but something just dampened my mood. Celestia, Luna, and Cadance have all told me that I... I might.
Scratches and water marks run across the page. It seems she couldn't finish the message. Just a few words not even a full paper like she usually would. What ever made her stop really chocked her up. He closes the book and stares at it in his right hand. She said something might happen to her. But what?
"Twilight... What aren't you telling me?" He says placing the book back where he found it, "What are you trying to hide..."
"I'm not trying to hide anything." A voice says behind him.
He jumps and turns around to see Twilight staring at the ground before him. The two stands in awkward silence, "Twilight I."
"Don't worry about it Spike. We'll discuss it later okay?" Twilight says turning and leaving out the room through the non-existent door.
Spike only stares at the entrance/exit that Twilight has left through. He couldn't think of any words to say or anything to say after he leaves himself. Spike looks back at the bookcase and than at the ground. He sits and grabs his head.
Can... Can she trust me anymore? Dear god.. I should've paid more attention. I probably should've left it alone... I didn't even learn anything... What will she say?
He looks up and stares again, "Please don't hate me..."