Spike sat on Twilight's back as he smoked some weed. "Hey Twilight..."
"What Spike?"
"Lets-" he burped and then continue, "go on a fucking adventure."
"To where?"
"Lets... find... the helements of armony... and... Find the ILLUMINATI!"
"Spike are you fucking crazy? Who knows where the Illumanati is..." Spike jumped off Twilight's back as he pulled a bong tube out of his Dragon skin pocket. "Here... try this you crazy cunt..." Twilight grabbed it with her magic and lit it up. She put the tube in her mouth. Her eyes became diolated as she became high quite quickly since she was not used to it.
"Hey Spike..."
"What faggot?"
"Fuck me in da fuckin' asshole. You be mah nigga, bitch..." she stumbled around and grabbed spike with her magic. She put him near her ass as he inserted his small dick in her asshole. He thrusted hard back and forth.
"That's right... good nigga... now..." Twilight stumbled a bit again and put spike down. "Lets... find the others." She took a shit on the sidewalk and then began walking. Spike jumped on her back. Twilight opened her wing and began flying to Rainbow Dash's house. Along the way, a brown pegasi stallion honked and shouted, "no fucking drunk flying!"
Twilight turned to him, "I'm high, not drunk! Get-" she hiccupped and continued, "your facts right!" She finally arrived at Rainbow's house. She walked in on Rainbow Dash punching Fluttershy. Fluttershy was blasted back by the punch, as her nose began bleeding.
Rainbow turned to see them, "oh hey twilight, spike. You cunts need something?"
"We're gonna find the Illuminati and if you don't come I'll fuck you right when you have a period! Both of y'all!" Spike shouted. Rainbow sighed, "fine, bitch." She grabbed Fluttershy and lifted her on her back, "we're going you stupid cunt." Twilight and Rainbow both flew out with extra weight on their backs.
"Lets go fuck Rarity!- I mean, find the others..." Spike yelled out loudly. They went to the barn to find Apple Jack and Rarity drunk on Apple cider. They were arguing about potatoes.
"Potatoes are fashionable fruits!" Rarity said as she threw a glass bottle at the ground.
"Potatoes are fuckin' vegetables, fag!" Apple yelled as she threw an apple at Rarity.
"Wanna find the Illuminati with us?" Spike asked.
At the same time, they both answered angrily, "sure!" and followed along. They then went to Sugar Cube Corner. They walked inside, but the lights seemed to be off. Rarity turned them on and found Pinkamena in the middle of the room. Her head turned 180° around like an owl and held a knife in her hand. She shouted, "Don't ignore Pinkie, or she'll cut you!"
They slammed the door shut. "Okay, let's go..." Twilight said.
"What about Pinkie?" Rainbow questioned.
"She's a psycho-ass bitch. Now let's go." They headed toward the everfree forest and stumbled in one by one.
"I see ya came to visit me, eh laddehs?" A mystery voice said. Spike screamed and jumped off Twilights back.
"SHREK! YOUR THE ILLUMINATI!? I PRAY TO YOU EVERY NIGHT!"
Shrek nodded, "it be me, the orgely handsome illuminati. Now laddehs, follow me to me house."
"Ew, an ugly beast like you is the illuminati?" Rarity implied. Shrek glanced over his shoulder. With the flick of his wrist he ripped Rarity's head right off. Blood gushed everywhere.
Twilight's mouth dropped, "Spike, he just killed Rarity! What do you think of that?!" Spike's eyes sparkled and his tail wagged as he stared at Shrek, "he is my ogrelord, whatever pleases Shrek pleases me..."
Shrek pulled out his overly-sized penis and fucked Rarity's dead body. All mouths dropped except for Spike's.
Shrek put his log away and cleared his throat, "now then, let's go to my house, laddehs." They walked for a long while until they arrived at a solid gold mansion. They walked inside. "Go ahead and make yourselves at home. Little purple thing, come with meh." Shrek and Spike walked upstairs to a giant room that even included a hot tub.
"So, you wanna please me, laddeh?"
"Oh yes, of course. I will do anything for you. I pray to you ever night saying 'Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life.'"
"Good. Then bend over in you want to please Shrek." Spike bent over and lifted his tail, revealing his tight asshole. Shrek grabbed his overly-sized dick once more and pulled it out of his pants. He shoved it into Spike's tiny ass. His asshole began bleeding as he could feel it ripping open. Shrek thrusted in and out and then took his penis out. Shrek took his clothes off and went to the hot tub. He got in and sat down. "Come over here."
Spike ran over. Shrek's penis was erect as he grabbed Spikes waist. He pulled Spike in and put his asshole on his log. He then pushed Spike down slowly until his dick was all the way into Spike's body. Spike felt a deep pain, but whatever pleased Shrek he would do. He bounced up and down slowly on Shrek's large log. They continued, getting deeply involved. Spike moaned and groaned. Twilight came upstairs and heard the moaning. She walked in to find them. She screamed.
Shrek took Spike off his dick and sighed. Twilight teleported a pen and paper to herself and wrote a note to Princess Celestia:
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that you should not judge a book by its cover, no matter how orgely ugly it might be. Because if you do, you might get killed... OR WALK IN ON THAT PERSON HAVING SEX WITH YOUR ASSISTANT!
You Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle."
She sent the note herself with her magic and sighed. Shrek came up behind her with an axe. "I cannot believe I walked in on-!" The axe swung, and there was silence in the room.
Author's Note
Looking forward to wonderful comments in the morning c: XD
