What Makes A Good Story?
By Entrazor Sharp
It was a cold summer night in Ponyville. Everything seemed peaceful, the most perfect night in years. No sounds, no dangers, no worries in anypony’s mind. Not a creature was stirring, not even a…
“Finally!” screamed Entrazor at the top of his lungs with a sigh of relief. “I did it! I’m finally a member of the Fim-Fic Story Club! After months on end of trying to get in, I’m finally in! Why am I screaming to myself what I already know?”
Before closing the letter of approval and getting ready for a blissful night of dreams, it seems that half of Ponyville is up trying to find the source of the shout. It looks as the perfect, peaceful night ended too quickly.
“Heh...heh...I guess I got a bit carried away…” said Entrazor while quickly reacting by closing the drapes to his window and blowing out all of the candles in his room. “Note to self, NEVER scream loudly at night, unless you want half of Ponyville on your doorstep.”
Getting into bed quietly, Entrazor closes his eyes. Feeling worried with a sense of laughter due to everypony strolling outside trying to find the cause of the shriek, he hopes the night will end quickly, nopony will remember what happened, and he goes to sleep.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Entrazor jumps out of bed instantly galloping to his front door and opens it.
To his surprise, he finds the mayor with her assistant and two royal guards.
“Good morning Entrazor. I hope you slept well last night. With the reports of a burglar pony, I asked the royal guard to send a team to watch over Ponyville for a while. I’m just here to tell you not to fret about last night’s incident.”
“…G…G…Great! I feel so much better now! Yay! I can…umm…”
“Sleep in peace?”
“Yes! Just the word I was looking for, Mayor Mare…”
“Well, alright. If you see anything strange, just tell one of the guards so they can catch this thief.”
“Will do! Now, if you excuse me, I have…umm…something to do…umm…somewhere…” said Entrazor nervously.
“And were are you going?” said the mayor suspecting something suspicious.
“I…I…I’m going to the Fim-Fic Story Club. I just got accepted as a member there.” said Entrazor, hoping she will buy it.
“Ok and congratulations. I’ll be on my way now, I’ve a lot of homes to visit.”
“Kay! Thanks!” said Entrazor immediately closing the door.
“She bought it… She bought it! Yes!” screamed Entrazor, again with a sigh of relief.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Entrazor froze. As he opens the door he sees that it’s the mayor again!
“…umm…hi?”
“Yes Entrazor, did you happen to say something right after I left?” asked the mayor suspiciously.
Thinking fast he replies,
“Yes, as a matter of fact I did. I got a letter saying that I… just sold an old… pencil… to…Twilight! Yeah, that’s it. That’s why I screamed ‘she bought it’. Heh heh heh…” said Entrazor nervously, hoping she will buy it again.
“Alright, stay safe and vigilant.”
“Will do mayor. Will do…” again, he immediately closes his door and tries to calm down.
“Wow.” sighed Entrazor.
“Note to self, NEVER scream loudly at night, unless you want half of Ponyville on your doorstep accompanied by, THE ROYAL GUARD!”
Thinking for a few minutes, Entrazor gets up and completes his morning routines. After finishing breakfast, he plops on top of his couch and again, thinks.
“I guess I might as well go to the story club. I have nothing else to do anyways. And plus, what if Mayor Mare sends in a few guards to check my alibi? Yeah, I am so going there…wait, why am I still talking to myself? Haven’t I caused enough trouble?”
After realizing he’s talking to himself again, he grabs his bag and walks to the story club. He’s surprised to see he was right. Looking behind, he notices a guard flanking him, only to walk away after a few moments. Feeling his alibi checked, he enters the story club and looks at some fan-fictions. He soon reads some good stories and starts to wonder.
“I just got into this club and I’m already bored of reading. I know! I’ll go home and make one. And just think, I might get noticed here!”
“Shhh!” said everypony near him.
“Sorry!” whispers Entrazor. He then quickly flies back home and gets started.
Getting a quill, bottles of ink, and a large stack of paper, Entrazor starts writing his story. He looks out his window and sees the sun high above the sky.
“Ok, I can do this.” said Entrazor. “I’ve already got an early start. Since it’s noon, I’ll just write this story and finish it by dusk.” he said trying to keep confident. “Now, before I write an amazing slash awesome-tastic story… how do I write one?”
“Come on! It’s past my bedtime, I barely ate dinner, and I can’t think of a good story!” he screamed quietly to avoid attention from the guards. “Urgh…well look at the bright side, at least I didn’t cause any trouble by screaming again...”
Sitting from noon ‘till midnight behind a desk will cut down anypony’s morale. He can’t think right and already lost half of his sanity. His eyes bloodshot red, he wants to sleep, but can’t. All he can think about now is, ‘What makes a good story?!’
“What makes a good story?” he said to himself. “Why can’t I write a good story like Razorbeam and Brony2893, who in fact can write awesome stories? This is worse than an arrow in the knee!”
Yawning silently without realizing his eyes closing slowly, Entrazor falls asleep on his bottles of ink. Opening his eyes, he sees himself standing next to a white box-shaped house with a red door and three circular windows. Suddenly, an explosion was heard. Causing the explosion was a small man riding a giant pickle.
“Entrazor Sharp! Why have you come to my city? Miss Very Tall Red Headed Assistant whose face only appeared for a few seconds in only one episode, get this magical talking horse out of my town!” said the small man.
“Horse?!” screamed Entrazor in confusion.
Unexpectedly, everything turned white. Standing in front of him was what looked like a neat, clean, mad scientist with a rectangular face. He reaches his hands out to Entrazor to help him up.
“Thanks.” said the confused pony.
“Your welcome magical-talking horse.”
“I’m a po… never mind. Can you tell me what I’m doing here and where we are?” asked Entrazor.
“We’re in your dreams. To be honest, I’m actually Razorbeam in a professor’s body. I’m here to ensure you that you can write a great slash awesome-whatever story. All you have to do is be patient, and think of a good topic to start on. But since you lost half your sanity and can’t think strait, I recommend you go around Ponyville for some good thoughts on what makes a good story.”
“Are you serious! That’s a waste of time! Ain’t nobody got time for dat!” Entrazor said feeling discouraged.
“Why, do you have bronchitis? Coincidence? I think not! But hey, that’s just a theory. Anyways, I never gave up even when I felt discouraged, neither should you!
“Wait, why can’t I just ask you what makes a good story?”
“Well I’m just a figment of your imagination in this dream realm. How should I know?”
“Sigh... Thanks, Razorbeam.”
“ Don’t mention it! Anything for a fellow razor! And one last thing. Wash that thing on your face. It stains clothes! Bye!”
“AHH” screamed Entrazor quietly.
“What’s on my face? How long was I out? And most importantly of all, wha… wow, this ink really does stain clothes, good thing I’m not wearing any!” Looking to his left, he sees his clock hanging on his wall. With its hands pointing to eight and three, he makes out that it is ‘8:15’AM.
“Ok, now to the point. Rectangle Head said to go find good ideas from ponies around town. The guards might be on to me, but they probably have some cool stories that they’ve heard from Canterlot and maybe, the Princess! No time to lose! Let’s GOoooooo…I have to stop thinking out loud!”
Grabbing his colt-bag, he walks to town, searching far and wide for a good story. Seeing a guard just outside of town square, he approaches cautiously, just in case anything happens, like him bumping onto a tree causing a leaf to fall on Mrs. Cake’s nose, causing her to sneeze, throwing a pie into pinkie’s lit party cannon, causing the pastry to hit a guard, granting him twelve years dungeon. Seven years, no trial.
“So far so good. All I have to do is ask a few questions and I’ll be on my way” Entrazor thought to himself.
“Well met kinsman. May I be of any assistance?” asked the guard centurion.
“Well met guardsman, I’m making a story but I'm out of ideas. I was wondering if maybe you have a good story at mind from Canterlot or maybe the Princess?” he asked.
“Oh, I’m afraid I don’t have any good stories from Canterlot or the princess. But hey, why don’t you write a story about the burglar pony that’s been terrorizing the town. I hear that he’s climbing your windows and he’s snatching your ponies up. That’s not much but I hope that helped.”
“Well, I guess I could add that to a side story. Anyways, thanks for your time.”
“You know what, I think Twilight Sparkle can help you. She reads tons of books and she can probably give you tips or ideas. She lives in a tree, which also serves as a library. You can find it west of here.”
“Thanks! I owe you one!” said Entrazor happily.
Galloping away, he rushes to the library in search of Twilight.
“Library west of here… Aha! Found it!” he said. “Now all I have to do is to knock an…”
CRASH!
“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!” said a voice, coming from the library.
“What were you doing up there?” said another voice.
Waiting outside while hearing the voices talk to each other for a few moments, he finally knocks the door.
Knock, knock, knock.
The door swings open slowly revealing a bruised purple dragon.
“Umm…hi. Can I help you?” Spike asked.
“Yeah! But first, what just happened?” Entrazor asked.
“I don’t know. I heard something upstairs, so I checked if this place was haunted. For some reason, Twilight was talking to a camera, maybe? Before I called out to her, she winked at it then bucked me down the stairs, making me break a lantern.” he replied grumpily.
“Well, I hope you’re alright. Anyways, where is she?”
“I’ll go get her.”
After waiting a few moments for her, she comes galloping downstairs to the front door.
“Hi Entrazor! Enjoying your new home here at Ponyville? So what can I do for you?” she asked.
“I’m doing fine Twilight! Anyways, I just got in the Fim-Fic Story Club! But the thing is, I can’t write a story! I’m out of ideas! I was wondering if you could help.” he asked.
“Well you came to the right place! To me, a good story is based on personal experiences. What did you do yesterday?” she asked.
“Caused the royal guard to watch over Ponyville.” he whispered to himself.
“You did what! You’re the burgMMM…”
Before finishing her sentence, Entrazor hoofs her mouth close.
“Shh! There are guards everywhere! I did that on accident! I’ll explain everything!” he quietly screamed.
After minutes of explaining what happened, Twilight learns the reason he screamed was because he was too excited becoming a legitimate member of a story club.
“Wow, really? I’m might be an ‘egghead’ but even I don’t get that excited. Now all I have to do is tell the guards so they can…”
“NO, you can’t tell anyone! I don’t want to be thrown into Dragonsreach! You’re the first pony, first friend I made here. You have to promise not to tell anyone about this!“
“Alright, calm down. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Ok, thanks.” Entrazor sighs in relief.
“No sweat! Now, since I’m free for the day why don’t I tag along and take you around town to find good story ideas? I’m clearly out of good ones so that’s our best option.” she asked.
Entrazor immediately thinks to himself to consider bringing Twilight on his little adventure.
“Ok, let’s think this through. Pro, I get a helping hoof. Con, she might accidentally tell my secret. Pro, I have a friend to talk to so I can stop talking to myself…”
“Ok Twilight! Let’s go!” he says happily.
While walking around town, all Entrazor can do is stare at Twilight hoping she comes up with a good idea. Looking left and right, Twilight searches for anypony that can help, causing an awkward silence between them. Entrazor, wanting to break the dreaded silence starts to talk.
“Beautiful weather we’re having today.” he says desperately.
“Yeah, it sure is “ she replies,
“Do you know what else is beautiful Twilight?”
“ Me?” she quickly replies while grinning in sarcasm.
Shocked by Twilight’s reply, he nervously answers.
“Uhhh…yeah…of course. Since technically your not a colt, but a mare, it should mean you’re beautiful and not handsome unless you’re a stallion in disguise. And since everyone is beautiful on the inside, that should mean th…”
Placing a hoof on his mouth, the purple mare smiles and laughs.
“Don’t worry, I’m just teasing. You’re not used to talking to mares, are you?” she asks raising an eyebrow.
“No. I only made a few friends who were colts during the time I had growing up. Mostly, I go traveling for weeks, traveling Equestria alone. But now, since I officially live in Ponyville I guess I can stay around more and go on less adventures so I can make more friends.”
“That’s great! But every one of my close friends are mares. I hope you don’t freak out.”
“No, no. After that little tease I think I’m at least 20% better at speaking and taking jokes.”
“Oh good! Cause there’s more where that came from…”
“What?”
After walking for a few minutes, the two friends stop at a cake-shaped house. Walking into the building, Twilight tells Entrazor to wait outside ‘Sugar Cube Corner’ because things might get ‘crazy’. Being a bit stubborn, Entrazor can’t help peeking through the window. He spots a pink mare that he can certainly tell is Pinkie Pie. Forgetting how the pink mare reacts to new friends, he walks in while Twilight is talking to her.
“So Pinkie, I was just…”
“GASP,” gasped Pinkie. “Entrazor! Hi, hi, hi! How are you? I’m still sad that Twilight here beat me to you and met you first, but do you like your new home? I know I do! Twilight was just asking me about what a good story needs.”
“So, what is it?” he asked.
“A PARTY! Every good thing must have one! You know what, why don’t I throw you a party and you can write about it? We’ll have tons of fun with cake and punch and Gummy and…”
“PINKIE!” yelled Twilight. “Let’s not try scare him. He’s a bit shy.”
“You know who else is shy? Fluttertshy of course! You should really really see her! She LOVES animals and has a loving timid mind! She lives in a cottage just outside of town.”
“Ok Pinkie, thanks!”
“Okey dokey loky! Just remember, if you wanna party I’m your pony! We can eat cake, make cupcakes, bake pies…oh wait! I forgot to make you some as a welcome gift from me! I was gonna until I ran out of Apple Jack Daniels. Hey, maybe if you drop by her farm you can ask her for some. Just tell her it’s for me! And before you go, if you see Rainbow Dash, whisper to her, ‘Cupcakes’.”
“Ok Pinkie. Thanks again!”
“No problem!”
“Alright, we’ll be on our way” said Twilight, finally being able to talk.
“Kay! Bye!”
Walking out the door, Twilight pulls Entrazor and quickly gallops away from the bakery.
“Hey! What was that for?” screams Entrazor.
“Sorry! But we just had to get out of there…”
“Awww… I think little Twilight’s sad because she didn’t get to talk.” Entrazor says smirking.
“No! Just trust me, NOTHING is crazier than Pinkie Pie when she meets a new pony here. We were just lucky she didn’t enter ‘phase two’.”
“That crazy huh?”
“Yeah”
“Ok, now that’s over where do we go now?” he asked.
“Now, we should go to the Carousel Boutique. It’s the closest place to look for a story and you’ll meet Rarity. Just don’t fall for her. Spike kinda has a crush on her. But I don’t think he has a chance, you know…him being a dragon and Rarity being a pony. Anyways, she’s really into fashion so don’t be surprised if you end up wearing a tux or two.”
“Oh come on Twilight, I doubt she’s that generous to somepony she barely knows.” he casually says.
“Oh just trust me, I know from personal experience.”
Walking away from the bakery to the Carousel Boutique, the two ponies are more talkative to each other then before. Entrazor can finally feel how great it is to be with somepony else then himself. Enjoying the short walk with Twilight, they finally arrive at the boutique. Entering the shop, they spot the white mare working hard on a new line of clothing coated in colorful diamonds.
“Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, how may I assist you? Oh, hello Twilight! How are you? Fancy seeing you here. Also, who’s your friend? I don’t believe that I’ve ever seen him before in Ponyville.”
“Hey Rarity! I’m fine, thanks. Anyways, this is Entrazor Sharp. He just moved here a week ago.”
“Well hello Entrazor! It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Rarity said while shaking his hoof.
“Hi Rarity! It’s great to meet you too!”
“So what are you two up to? Do tell.” asked the white mare.
“Well. Twilight here is taking me around Ponyville to help me find ideas to a good story. We were actually hoping that you knew a thing or two about making one.”
“I guess you came to the right place, darling! What a good story needs is a good fashion sense, something that says ‘I look great’ or ‘Nice is an understatement, I look fabulous’! I-de-a!” she said in a singing voice. “You could also try on a tux or two then write about it like in those fashion magazines.”
“Told you!” whispered twilight supported by an ‘I told you so look’ on her face. “Alright Rarity thanks for your help!”
“But of course you two, anything for a friend! I have to get back on making a new line of fashion, so if you excuse me I’m going to return to my workbench. If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Thanks Rarity!” said both the visitors before walking outside leaving their host to continue her work.
“Wow Twilight, she seems really nice and sophisticated, also generous for asking me to try on a tux.” Entrazor said smirking.
“Yeah, she is the element of generosity.”
“Elewha?”
“For somepony who travels a lot, I’m surprised you don’t know what I mean.” she said in disbelief.
“Let me see, all I know is that Princess Celestia used it to banish her sister to space camp for one-thousand hours.”
“It was actually the moon. And it was for one-thousand years. So anyways, everypony that you will meet will represent an element. So far Pinkie is laughter and Rarity is generosity ”
“You said ‘everypony I meet’, does that include you?”
“Well, yeah. I don’t want to brag, but I’m the element of magic. I didn’t want you to treat me differently. “
“No Twilight. You can trust me, I wouldn’t treat you differently. I’m your friend and it wouldn’t be right to do that.”
“Sorry I didn’t trust you.”
“It’s ok. So back to our little quest, who should we look for next?”
“I think we should look for Rainbow Dash, but the thing is she’s never at home at this time. She’s either in the skies training or in a tree napping.”
“Alright, lets go!”
After walking for a couple hours, It seems that Rainbow Dash is just nowhere to be found. Searching high and low, they both start to feel discouraged and hopeless, until something catches their attention.
BOOM!
“What was that!?” Entrazor asked feeling scared and shocked.
“Rainbow Dash…” said Twilight immediately running to the source of the explosion.
“That was her? What did she do? Is she hurt?” he asked worried, galloping along side her.
“No, that’s just how she trains. She flies so fast it breaks the sound barrier, thus creating a giant rainbow-colored shockwave.”
“Wow! She seems at least 20% faster than the average Pegasus!”
Galloping to the source of the shockwave, they see no sign of Rainbow Dash and head to the shade of an old oak tree on top of a small hill in a grassy field. There, they lay down to catch their breath while simultaneously looking around for Rainbow Dash. Unaware to them, the branch above the two rattles and shakes.
“Where is she Twilight? Does she always run away from a new pony?”
“No, she never runs away. Who knows, she might be looking for us right now. I think we should take a break from this quest, at least just a while.”
“Yeah, I’m felling a bit tired too. Hey, where are my manners, are you thirsty? If you are, I have a bottle of water with me.”
“Thanks, I’m parched.”
Sitting under a tree after a long day of walking is relaxing, even to the most elite ponies. Enjoying the view from where they are, they both yawn and start falling asleep.
“Twilight.” Entrazor said sleepily. “Maybe we should rest a bit more. Who knows, maybe Rainbow Dash will see us and come.”
“Agreed” she said, also sounding sleepy.
“Yeah, let’s…just find her…after we wake up…” he said asleep falling next to the purple mare immediately.
“Seriously!” Whispered a voice from above. “How could they fall asleep? Oh well. Now, how do I wake them up? Making another sonic rainboom will probably get me in trouble and I need another one of Twilight’s talent enhancer to wake them up in another dimension without them seeing me… I think I’ll just do it the old fashion way...”
Sneaking up on the sleeping friends, she cautiously walks up to them and takes a deep breath.
“Boo!” (Jumpscare If You Dare) Rainbow dash screams.
“AHHHH” the two sleeping ponies scream.
“Hahahahaha!” laughs the rainbow mare.
“RAINBOW THAT’S NOT FUNNY!” yells Twilight still feeling shocked.
“Ha! Nice one!” laughs Entrazor.
“Thanks, I love pranks more than sleeping! Hey, I’m Rainbow Dash by the way. What’s your name?”
“I’m Entrazor Sharp. I just moved into Ponyville. Twilight and I were searching for you for hours. Where were you?” He said still feeling groggy.
“I fell asleep on a cloud while training. That happens a lot. Everyone does it too sometimes.” She answered.
“I hear you, but I prefer sleeping on something more...solid.” said Entrazor.
“Hey, wait a sec.” she said flying to Entrazor’s flank. “What’s that cutie mark of yours? I’ve never seen anything like it before.” she asked raising an eyebrow.
“Well, aren’t all cutie marks unique? But since you’ve asked, it’s actually the insignia I designed and use during my travels. How it became my cutie mark, I don’t know. Good thing I didn’t draw Slendermare right?”
“I guess, but you should’ve wrote ‘RD Best Pony’ or something like that…” Pausing while thinking for a moment she speaks again. “Did you say travels?”
“Yes he did Rainbow, you see he’s quite an adventurer.” Twilight said smirking, knowing how Rainbow Dash loves adventurers.
“Adventurer! I love adventures! Running, jumping, flying, and escaping from enemies, traps, and obstacles! So are you like Daring Do? What do you look for? What did you see? I bet it was awesome!” she said joyfully.
“Well, I’m an adventurer but I’m not like Daring Do. To me, she’s more of a treasure hunter than an adventurer. But that’s just my opinion. Other than that, I really love her books. I actually have the entire series. I think all of them are great especially ‘Daring Do and the Griffon’s Goblet’.”
"I never thought of it that way, but I still think she is awesome! So, if you don’t hunt for treasure, what do you find?” she asked while wondering what else is there to find other than treasure.
“Ah my friend, something that when not used properly is worth nothing but when used to it’s full potential is worth more than mountains of gold. Yay, I always wanted to say that!” he answered happily.
“Chocolate rain?” she answered randomly.
“Knowledge, right Entrazor?”
“Elementary, my dear Twilight. Wow, I always wanted to say that too! But yeah, I go around Equestria doing quests that’s been given to me by writers, scholars, professors…you get the point. I look around for what they want to know, take notes about my findings, and bring back to them with everything they asked for in the form of a report. After that, they will add more to it what they already know and make it a book. Knowledge is actually expensive. Twilight have you ever read the book ‘Fires of the Frozen North’? It’s about a place in the Frozen North that’s been hidden away for the safety of ponykind?”
“Yeah, I owned that book. What about it?”
“Remember the black mark on where it tells the coordinates where to find it?”
“Yeah. I was told it was an error during the copying phase. I was also told the original book has the unmarked version.”
“No, actually it was done intentionally. The writer, Professor O’Rly and I…”
“Wait, you wrote it?” asked the two mares.
“Yes, me and a team of three other pegesai and unicorns. I usually travel alone, but this quest was too much for me so I asked a few colleagues to help. Anyways, we marked the coordinates before copying it and burned the original so nopony will ever reopen the ‘seal of the forgotten’. On the end of the book it also says something in another language.”
“That I remember. I never understood it.”
“Yeah It reads, ‘Scarlet Shine fen ni kos vodahmin!’ It means Scarlet will not be forgotten. Ask spike, he should understand. Well, she was a really nice and beautiful pegasus that came with me on this quest. I added this as a tribute that we, the ‘seekers of knowledge’ will not forget that she sacrificed her ability to fly, her wings to save me from falling into an ice shard-trap.”
“Is she ok?” Rainbow Dash asked nervously.
“She’s fine, but she gave up adventuring to be an artist like Leonardo De’ Pony.”
“Wow, did that change her destiny?” asked Twilight holding her breath.
“Well, not really. She was a mapmaker so painting should be natural to her. Anyways back to our little quest, Rainbow Dash, do you know what makes a good story?” he asked just remembering the reason they seeked out the pegasus.
“Entrazor, you should make a story of your adventures! Or maybe we can go on our own adventure and you could write about that!”
“Nice idea, thanks!”
“Don’t mention it! And don’t forget about my last Super-Ultra-Extreme-Awesomazing suggestion.
“No sweat! Oh wait. One more thing, Pinkie said something about making ‘Cupcakes’ with you.”
“Umm… I’ve got to run.” The mare said shaking
“Where?” asked Entrazor.
“As far form Pinkie as possible!” she said immediately dashing to the clouds above them and disappears in ten seconds flat.
Looking at Twilight, he asks her what happened. She explains that an unknown pony wrote a horror story of Pinkie killing and skinning her, tearing her limb from limb as she could only watch in agony.
“Too much info Twilight.” he said smirking.
“Ok, so do you know what makes a good story yet? Any ideas so far?”
“Nope, not at all. I already thought of making an autobiography, but to tell you the truth, I don’t remember much from my past. I only remember a few things about myself and everything else seems fuzzy.”
“Ok, I guess were going to see Fluttershy.”
“The shy one?”
“Yeah, she’s really shy around new ponies so keep calm and flutter on.”
Walking from the grassy plains south of Ponyville, they travel northeast to Fluttershy’s cottage. Along the way the two talk about themselves to get to know each other better. Twilight speaks of how she got into Ponyville and almost everything she learned here about friendship. Other than that, they both share stories about things they’ve done before coming to Ponyville and trying to leave their anti-social behaviors.
Arriving to the bridge in front of Fluttershy’s cottage, Twilight stops to think how she can introduce the ‘new comer’ to her.
“Are you sure this is necessary? Why can’t I just meet her the same way I met everypony else?” he inquired.
“Well, Fluttershy…” thinking of the best words she could use that wouldn’t offend her friend, she momentarily pauses then speaks. “Like her name states, she is…really shy.”
“ Oh come on, I’m shy too you know. Also, you look smart. In mathematical theories, what happens when a negative meets a negative?” he asks smirking, knowing this conversation will turn out how he wants it to.
“It becomes Positive.” she sighs in defeat.
“Ok then. Let’s meet her!” he says filled with happiness.
Walking to her doorstep Entrazor’s ear catches the sound of the shy mare singing to something. Reaching his hoof out to knock on the door, Twilight quickly parries his action. Again feeling shocked, he yells ‘Ouch’ at his friend and suddenly the singing stops. Asking why she did that, she answers that he had to be ‘gentle’ while knocking.
KNOCK!
“Entrazor! What did I just tell you!” Twilight yells quietly while grabbing and holding his hoof.
“Heh, I was just joking. You really need to loosen up Twilight.” A few moments pass as Entrazor, looking down at his hoof, realizes that Twilight is still holding him. “Uhh…Twilight?” Looking down she quickly removes her hand and blushes. “Sorry, I didn’t…” raising a hoof he cuts Twilight and pats her shoulder. “It’s ok, really. I don’t mind at all. It’s kinda normal if you think it out. You know, if I tripped and fell on a ledge and you reached out your hand, I would grab it and hold on for dear life...Hey, you’re not used talking to colts are you? he said sinisterly grinning remembering the tease Twilight threw at him earlier. “Ha, I guess what comes around goes around. Why don’t we see Fluttershy before you throw another tease at me.” She said sheepishly. “Sounds good to me.” he said while gesturing Twilight to pass him and knock on Fluttershy’s door.
Knock, Knock, Knock.
“Oh Fluttershy, do you mind if we come in?” she said in a musical tone.
“We?” she said scared. “Who’s we? I’ve never heard that voice or seen that Pegasus before…” she said in terror while opening her door.
“Hi, you must be Fluttershy! I’m Entrazor, I’ve heard a lot about you lately.”
“You’ve heard a lot about mmmmmmm.” she whispered.
“You’ve what?”
“You’ve heard a lot about mmmmm.“ she again whispered now looking down.
“Heh, heh…Ok, I guess…” he said slowly, taking a step back. ”Twilight, help!” he whispered into her ear. “Don’t worry, I’m on it.” she said nostalgically smiling, remembering the first time she met the timid mare.
“Fluttershy, this is Entrazor. He’s new here and he’s very kind. He just wanted to ask you a question, so if you don’t mind...” she said hoping to encourage her friend. “Well, alright. Hello to you too Entrazor.” She said a bit shaken up. “Wow, that went well. Why weren’t you this calm when I first met you?” she asked surprised. “Well, you did catch me off guard, Twilight. So anyways, what did you want to ask me, Entrazor?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to ask what makes a good story? I just can’t think of one. I’m out of ideas and if I don’t get a good idea soon I’m gonna go crazy!” he said in a strong tone.
“Pinkie-Pie crazy?” she asked looking worried.
“No, that’s more of a last resort state of mind, I was thinking of maybe losing more of my sanity. So, do you have anything in mind?” he asked hoping for the right answer.
“Well, a good story needs to be kind and a bit sensitive. You’ll never know who might read it. Or maybe you could help me take care of some woodland creatures and write a story of it, if that’s ok with you…” she said shyly.
“That would be wonderful! By the way, how many woodland creatures have you taken care of?” he asked curiously. “Well over nine thousand of course.” she said casually with a calm face.
“Well ok, I see you have a lot to attend to, Twilight and I will be on our way. Thank you for your time Fluttershy!” he said smiling. “Anything for a friend! I’ll see you later. Goodbye!” she said calmly smirking while waving her hoof to her friends.
“Looks like were back on the road. That’s five counting you right?” Entrazor asks. “Yeah, there’s one left. Oh, I almost forgot. Rainbow Dash is the element of loyalty. She may pull tricks on you, but she will always stand there by your side when you need her. You could technically give your broken heart to her, cause I know that she’d stick with you, that’s why we call her ‘Loyalty’. Fluttershy, on the other hand is the element of…”
“Shyness? Animals? Fear? What does she represent? “ cuts Entrazor hoping his guesses are correct. “Kindness. Wasn’t that obvious? She literally is a doormat err, pushover. Well at least she was before some minotaur named Iron Will taught her to be assertive, a bit too assertive. She raged around town until she realized what she’s done and learned to control herself again. I didn’t really see what happened, I was out of town in the Cloud District when this all occurred. I heard a few ponies talking about this and asked them for more information. I confirmed this with her and a few others just because I was a bit curious.”
“Wow, I guess it’s true when they say that shy people are like dormant volcanoes.” he said astounded. “You can say that again.” Twilight replies while smirking. “Wow, I guess it’s true when they say that shy people are like dormant volcanoes.” he said smiling sinisterly. “No, I meant that as a figu… you know what, let’s just continue.” she said jabbing Entrazor playfully, heading to the final mare.
Following the purple mare through the woods near Fluttershy’s home, Entrazor notices something strange. For some unknown reason Twilight seemed pretty down. She looked as she was tired but at the same time determined. This continued until she finally collapsed being caught barely by Entrazor. Carrying her to the shade of a nearby tree, he sets her down and tries everything he can to help.
“Twilight, Twilight, wake up! I’m right here beside you. Come on, wake up!” he said worried while shaking her. “Twilight wake up! Wake up, wake up!”
“Wha… what happened? How did I… What did I do?” she said dizzily.
“You collapsed for some reason. I checked on your vitals just to make s…”
“You checked on my vitals? Are you some kind of doctor?” she cut.
“Jawohl! I had some training from a friend of mine who’s a medic. You’re probably wondering how long you were out. Well, you blacked out for a couple hours, so it’s about 4 O’c. You started shaking, so I woke you up. Oh, and while you were out I took the liberty of making you a snack. I found some daisies, daffodils, and wild berries near a river not too far from here. So, go ahead and eat, rest up, and get better.”
“I don’t know if I should thank you for tending to me, or be mad at you for leaving me here, alone, helpless, and unconscious.” she said sarcastically,
“I knew you’d miss me.” he said grinning “But a dog beat me over the fence”.
“Huh?”
“Yeah, never mind. Get some rest ok? I’ll be right back. I just have to water my plants and I’ll be…”
“You’re leaving me here alone, again?” she said loudly, still feeling a bit groggy. “No, just kidding! I’m actually thinking on what we should do next, if I should take you home or not.” he said looking away. “Take me home? I can’t leave you wondering around Ponyville alone! What if one of the guards find out you’re the burglar pony? I don’t want you to rot in Dragonreach’s dungeon!”
“One, I prefer to be called ‘The Hood’ or ‘Vigilante’ than the burglar pony. Two, you just blacked out and I do not want to risk your safety for a little story I’m making. You’re too important to lose, so I think you should go home and get some rest. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you... like her.” he said feeling guilty.
“Look, we’re not in a frozen jungle temple, we’re not on one of your dangerous adventures, and I once ‘Leeroy Jenkined’ a hydra, I’m still not sure if it was a Khalni or a Primordial, but I did it to save my friends. So I think I should be alright. Plus I spent all day with you so I don’t want this to be for nothing.”
“Well, alright. You kinda reminded me of Scarlet, I’m sorry if I sounded a bit over protective. I just didn’t want to be the reason another pony suffers just for a book.”
“It’s ok, and technically, I am an egghead, so finding, reading, and writing books are my life.” she said
“Thanks Twilight. It’s hard to find ponies like you nowadays.” he said with a heartwarming smile.
“It’s ok, really. Now, let’s go before Applejack starts working again.”
“Who?”
“You’ll meet her soon. Oh, and if you want to talk about Scarlet, I’m all
ears.” she said in a caring tone, placing a hoof on his shoulder.
Twilight and Entrazor finally back on their hooves, both continue their small quest and head to Ponyville’s apple orchard to meet the final mare. Filled with hope and excitement, not only due to the possibility of finding a good topic that makes a good story, but also the chance to meet Twilight’s supposed ‘hard working’ friend, Entrazor happily gallops alongside Twilight to the orchard. With clear skies above them and no sign of trouble, nothing seems to be getting in their way. Finally arriving at the farm, they spot their mare resting peacefully under an apple tree, her hat over her muzzle, and calmly approach her.
“Hey, Applejack! I was ju…” Applejack placing a hoof over her hat and tipping it downward cuts Twilight off and starts speaking. “Let mah’ guess, someone stole yer’ sweetroll, again, ey Twi?” the orange mare asked sarcastically. “No, but…ok, yes but that’s not why I’m here. I brought a friend who wants to meet you. He’s new here in Ponyville.” she stated. Getting up immediately, Applejack shakes Entrazor’s hoof. “Nice to meet ya partner!” she said while tipping her hat. “I’m Applejack, what’s yer’ name?”
“I’m Entrazor Sharp, nice to meet you too! So this is your orchard?”
“It’s Apple Family property. We all own it. Anyways, where are you from? What do you do?”
“Well I know I’m an adventurer---I think, but I don’t really know where I come from. It’s like one minute I’m here then the next minute I’m there. I seriously don’t even remember how I got to Ponyville in the first place.”
“Well, now that yor’ here, welcome to Ponyville! So if you need any help from me, I’m all yer’s.” she said with a smile.
“Actually I wanted to ask you something.”
“Anything sugar cube, what is it?”
“In your opinion, what makes a good story? What has the potential to make a story great?” he asked filled with hope.
“You mean somethin’ that has the potential to open all closed doors physically and unlock great power from the mind to do anythin’ which includes writing a good story?”
“Yes, that’s it! What is it!”
“Nocturnal’s Skeleton Key?”
“You mean Nocturnal, the prince of the evergloom relm?” asked twilight raising an eyebrow.
“Darn toot’in!”
“Apple Jack, I’ve known you for some time but you never told me you showed interest in ancient Nirn legend. How did you even know about her?”
“Well Twi, ol’ Granny Smith says that the best, rarest, zap apples trees grow their fruit every day. I’ve been trying to contact a Nightingale ever since. Ah would trade every apple durri’n apple buck’in season for a chance ta go there.” She said a bit down. “Aww well, I guess it’s too good to be true”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure you will find a way to get there soon!” Twilight said warmly while patting her friend’s shoulder, while also mouthing the words ‘no she won’t’ silently at Entrazor. Holding in his laughter, he trots next to Applejack and does he same. Eventually, the orange mare picks up the remains of her farfetched dreams and laughs it out.
“Ha, it seems ah put my hopes up too high...again, well ah guess ah can think of a few things that can make a good story. To me, as long as you put in your hard, honest work, you can make a great story. Granny smith always tells me about her days as a wee filly back in the day. Woo doggie, her childhood is better than a mug of cold apple cider served with fritters in the middle of July! What her stories had that was eye catch’in to me is that, everything she experienced always played a role in every new chapter of her life. Her stories may be a bit hard to understand at first, but every chapter after that helps you understand the previous one, eventually piecing the entire story together. She also never lied to make her stories more interesting, so yeah. Ah hoped that helped! If not, you can always write a story ‘bout work’in here. You can come by tomorrow if you’d like.” She said smiling, hoping for the best.
“Thanks, Applejack. I’ll be sure to remember that, and your offer when I make one! So, Twilight also mentioned earlier that you represented an element of harmony? I was just wondering what that might be.” he said grinning.
“I represent honesty, sugar cube! And it all started when I let go of Twilight of a cliff when I honestly, could have pulled her up mahself!”
“Wha?”
“It’s a long story, I’ll explain it to you later. But for now, I think Applejack has her hooves tied up. Let’s let her continue working.” she said happily grinning at her friends. “So, thank you very much for your time, don’t work yourself too hard!”
“Thanks AJ! I can’t wait to use your advice when I write a story! Oh wait, I almost forgot, Pinkie said she needed some more ‘Applejack Danoels’, I think.” he said, trying to recollect his memory. “Dannill’s, Danelle’s, I don’t know.”
“It’s ‘Daniel’s’, partner. It’s mah latest creation! Ah accidentally knocked some yeast into a batch o’cider while ah was stor’in some of it. Ah don’t know why, but it makes everypony ‘pinkie pie crazy’ when gulped down, and Pinkie’s been crazy for it ever since! We like ta call this an ‘apple trip’. I’d love ta give her some, but the last time I did, she got Rarity mad... Really... MAD... So, tell her to go find some mushrooms, rocks or someth’in, Ah ain’t do’in any more lawsuits!” she said while facehoofing.
“You’re afraid of lawsuits? What are you, a pixie frog. Wait don’t tell me you’re afraid of lawyers too?” he said laughing hysterically at his own joke, soon realizing no one else joined him. “Ha,ha,ha! It’s funny cause it’s a joke! Ha...ha...ha...? Too soon?”
“Eeyup” said both the mares sighing and facehoofing at his terrible not so witty remark.
As the sun sets beneath the west horizon, the two friends head towards the marketplace from town square accompanied by once again, an awkward silence growing between them. With the sun now gone and Luna’s moon rising, the merchants pack and abandon their stands, leaving the normally busy area creating a ghost town atmosphere. As they pass by, the already empty shops cause them both to shiver a bit. The eerie sound if nothingness, so silent, ironically enough breaks the silence among them.
“So...Entrazor, how do you like...umm... Ponyville after dark?” she asked awkwardly while looking around, feeling something odd.”
“Well, to be honest, it’s actually pretty dark here. This isn't your average everyday darkness, this is.... advanced darkneMMMPPPHHHH!”
“Shhh! Guard at 4 o’clock!” she said dragging her friend to a hiding spot.
“Wha..mmph..do you...mmmph... mean? It’s...mmph...seven thirty..mmph..”
he said, struggling to speak clearly. “Can you please stop that! And...and out of all the places here, why do we have to hide behind a dumpster? ”
“Wait here, I have an idea!” she said charging her horn now glowing, covered in a ghostly purple veil.
“Twilight, don’t you dare walk away from... Sigh, teleportation spell, classic.”
Leaving her friend down in the dumps, literally, she heads to one of the three guards surveying the marketplace district. As she approaches the heavily armored centurion, she can’t help but sweat a bit knowing her actions may send Entrazor to the dungeons.
“Good evening centurion, what brings you here to this...fine establishment?”
“Good evening Twilight Sparkle, it has been some time since I last saw you. If you may recall, I was one of Celestia’s last few centurions before our order was disbanded. As a filly, you teleported my armor into the Everfree Forest. You were some filly back in the day. I am here by request of the mayor. What are you doing here out by yourself” he asked cocking his head.
“I...I’m just taking a stroll.”
“At this dark, empty marketplace?”
“Yes! I felt like spending my night gazing at Luna’s sky. The stars are quite majestic this evening...” she said noticing her friend approach the three guards from behind, none noticing him yet.
“Well, have fun Ms. Sparkle. Just be aware, the thief pony may still roam the streets. Reports state that this ‘thief’ is indeed a pegasi, a majorelle blue-cyan maned pegasus. One last thing, have you seen anything odd lately?”
“Think fast Twilight! What do I do, what do I say?” she whispered to herself in a panicked tone. “I... I... I saw him! Yeah, over there... right behind me and he was in a hurry! You have to go now if you want to catch up! And don’t look behind you or turn around, he’s good at hiding!”
“Yes, miss! Guards, at the ready! Move out!”
“Bye! Good luck! And don’t turn around!” she said in relief, her eyes now darted at her friend’s.
“Hey, why’d you send them away?”
“Send them away? Send them away! They were looking for you! What did I tell you to do?” she said scolding him.
“To stay here. Well, we technically are still in the marketplace. Look, I just wanted to ask him if I could make a story about his disbanded order...”
“Well why don’t you make a story about a pegasus being chased by two guards and a centurion?”
“Come on Twi, that’s the worst idea I’ve heard of yet. I mean, seriously who would ever think that would ever happ...”
“AHHHHHH! I didn’t do anything!” echoed a sound in the distance.
“That’s what they all say, thief! Flank him boys!”
“Well why don’t you ask that colt over there?”
“Nah, he seems pretty busy, but you do make a good point. Let’s move on.”
Quickly but silently, they exit the marketplace and continue back to the Golden Oak Library. The duo, exhausted from their valiant escape manages to reach home base without finding their way into more complications. They dust themselves off and sigh in relief knowing the day is done and the quest ends here.
“Well, that was some journey.” Twilight said gazing away at the stars. “I had a lot of fun today questing with you. It’s not everyday I get to go out of my library and run around Ponyville during my free time.
“I’m glad you enjoyed It.” he said sighing.
“What’s wrong? Why do you seem a bit gloomy? You know, you can visit me anytime if you miss me.” She said trying to cheer Entrazor up though unaware why he felt that way.
“Heh, I know I can, and I will. But fun and adventure aside, and this might sound silly. But truthfully, I still have no idea what to write later. I still don’t know what makes a good story. I’m glad that you enjoyed this mini-quest, but I just can’t make anything out of it...” he said looking depressed,
“Well for somepony who used to run off and find information for a living, this is probably ‘the worst possible thing’!” she said conjuring a red sofa then plopping onto it laughing. “Emphasis on ‘worst possible thing’. Now really, what’s wrong... wait, you’re dead serious aren’t you?” she asked after seeing her friend sigh in more depression.
“Eeyup...”
“Oh... Well, why don’t you try to rethink what happened today? Maybe it will come to you.”
“Alright. I started my day off in a lab, woke up, stained my fur, then became an official criminal known as ‘the burglar pony.” he said chuckling a bit.
“Oh, so that’s what’s on your fur... Then what happened?”
“Well, I panicked when I met your friend, the centurion. But he led me to your treebrary home. You probably remember the rest.
“I do, but do you?”
“If I did, we’d both be in our beds by now. Let me see, I met Pinkie. She told me to write a story about a party she’d throw for me if I wanted. She also helped me scare Rainbow Dash, and ask me to get Apple Jack Daniels”
“Then?”
“We went to the Carousel Boutique and met Rarity. She told me to write a story about me trying out a tux. After that, we traveled around Ponyville looking for Radical Larry when she was actually stalking us. She told me to write about an adventure we both might share, then she ran away...” he said giggling.
“Technically it’s ‘fly away’, but please, continue.”
“Well Fluttershy, the element of fear told me to write a story of me helping her take care of animals, you fainted, and finally Apples told me to just put in hard, honest work.... Then she offered me to help her around her farm...err... orchard, then write about it. I think I’m starting to see a pattern...” he said thinking.
“Great!” she yelled softly. Clapping her hooves. “Now, what have we summarized?”
“I think everypony here in town has too much time on their hooves and can randomly help you with anything or plainly wants your help.” he said grinning.
“Can’t argue with that, but seriously, what connects all these suggestions?”
“These suggestions are actually favors in disguise? “
“No, what connects these ideas is actually what happens afterwards. You see, by doing something with somepony and writing about it is the same thing about writing a?”
“Past experience! I get it now! I know what to write! But I told you already, I don’t remember much from my past.”
“Well, today was certainly interesting. Why don’t you write about what happened today?”
“That’s a great idea! I’ll get started now! See you soon Twi, goodnight!”
“Goodnight to you too, but wait. Don’t forget, ALL my friends expect to also see you soon. Which means you’re going to be partying with Pinkie, dressing up with Rarity, adventuring with Rainbow Dash, taking care of animals with Fluttershy, and working with Applejack.”
“Do I really have to? You know I could spend that time with you instead...” he said innocently grinning.
“Don’t make a mare a promise, if you know you cant keep it. Well, I’ve experiments to run and there’s research to be done for the ponies who are still alive. I guess you can be my test subject.”
“Deal. Thanks Twilight, for everything.”
“Anything for a friend, see you soon.”
Flying from the Golden Oak library as fast as possible to his home, he swiftly evades all incoming patrols and arrives there in a few minutes. Getting back on his desk, he can’t help but smile as memories of today rushes back into his thoughts. Grabbing his quill and inkbottle he stops to think once more.
“A great story needs a great name. I think I know the best possible title for this one.”
What Makes A Good Story?
By Entrazor Sharp
The End.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading this! I know it's not a triple A title, but I tried my best. Please leave a comment below on how I can improve my creative writing or if you simply found a reference. Oh, and WOO HOO 1st story posted!
