Chapters All in the Name of... Tickets!
Part One
All in the Name of... Tickets!
A couple of hours pass by and time is one o’ clock in the afternoon…
In the bright and sunny meadows outside Ponyville, five of the “Mane Six” gather around a blanket to setup for their traditional afternoon picnic. However noticing the absence of Rainbow Dash, they ponder why she’s late. Suddenly, the group hears a loud thundering roar as Dash comes flying in at Mach speed.
Decelerating and landing upon the site of the picnic, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, whom is shaking after being startled by the sonic boom, see Rainbow Dash dressed in a black leather jacket with “Pöny Crüe” etched in red on the back.
“Well… You’re late Rainbow Dash,” Twilight remarks as removes the blanket from atop picnic the basket.
She apologies, “Oh, um… Sorry about that! I was trying to find this old jacket of mine to wear today.”
“And why so?” asked Rarity.
Dash explains, “Well… Today I learned that my favorite band in the whole wide world, Pöny Crüe, is coming to perform in Equestria for the first time!” Rainbow Dash’s voice cracks as she forms her “wub” face, “And I know it’s going to be SO AWESOME!”
“And who is this, "Pöny Crüe" that you speak of?” Rarity asks.
"Only the most super spectacular band in all of the world, duh!" Rainbow Dash exclaims, "I mean, have you ever heard of their hits like “Shout at Tirek” and “Mares, Mares, Mares?”
“Well,” Rarity answers, “um… no.”
“I have,” Twilight replies, “And I also know that do some dynamic stage performances. Right?”
“Exactly! I mean…” Dash grumbles, “That is what Gilda said when she went and saw them.”
“Well, why don’t you go see them? Silly!” said Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash slumps her face downwards, “I wish, but the tickets cost two-hundred bits per. pony.”
Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy all react accordingly,
“Ouch,”
“Oh my!”
“Wow!”
“That’s just awful Rainbow Dash!”
“Yeah,” Dash weeps, “So I’m afraid I won’t be able to go... unless…”
Rainbow Dash commences to beg her friends for extra money. Staring at Twilight, Rainbow Dash assumes she has plenty of money at her disposal since she is an Alicorn Princess. However, Twilight reveals that Princess Celestia budges her an allowance each week and that she rarely accepts requests for extra bits unless it’s for a dire situation.
Rainbow Dash pleads, “But this is a dire situation!”
“Um, no it’s not,” Twilight refutes.
Frustrated, Rainbow Dash shifts her attention towards Rarity. Getting down on her knees and putting her hoofs together, Rainbow Dash urges for Rarity to donate money since she’s a high class fashion designer.
“Um… No, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity informs, “While I do make a wealthy amount of bits being who I am, I nothing to spare since I am currently investing most of them into a project for one of Photo Finish’s expos in Manehattan. So I’m sorry Rainbow Dash, but I don’t have anything to support your outcry.”
Rainbow Dash snorts at Rarity’s answer, but doesn't give up on asking Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy for bits.
Rainbow Dash whimpers, “Please!”
Nodding their heads in agreement, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy also deny giving money to Rainbow Dash on the account of their own personal reasons. Out of options, Rainbow Dash flops on the soft grass with her back touching the ground. As she begins to except her fate, Twilight communicates an idea to Rainbow Dash.
“Hey Rainbow Dash! If you really want to see them live then why don’t you just save up your bits?”
Rainbow Dash complains, “But that would take forever! Besides the concert is in three months and I don’t think I could save up enough bits for it unless I take up another job!”
Twilight instigates, “Well, why don’t you do that?”
“Well, you see-”
“I think that sounds like a great idea Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie blurts out, “Besides I know a ton of ponies in Ponyville that would love some extra hoofs!”
Rainbow Dash grunts before fixing herself up into a sitting position. With her legs spread out in front of the picnic blanket, she accepts the idea of picking up another job for extra bits. Asking Pinkie who needs help, she smiles and motions Rainbow Dash to follow her to the job site.
Upon arriving at their destination, Rainbow Dash exclaims, “Well this is no surprise!” as she finds herself at the Sugar Cube Corner.
“Oh come on Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie bounces up and down with excitement, “It will be fun! Besides, I promise it won’t be like what happened last time.”
“Fine,” Dash unenthusiastically remarks as a past memory comes to mind.
Entering the store, Pinkie and Dash were greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Cake, who were running around carrying boxes of different pastry goods.
Rainbow Dash leans over to Pinkie and murmurs, “A little busy… Uh?”
“Oh this is nothing!” said the pink pony, “You should have seen them when Princess Celestia was visiting here… oh wait,” Pinkie giggles, “You were there weren’t you?”
“Yes Pinkie, I was,” Dash retorts.
“Oh,” she giggles again, “Right… Well… Anyways now that you’re here, I’m sure that they will love the help!”
On that quote, Mrs. Cake re-enters the room with a wobbling stack of four boxes containing freshly decorated cakes. Unfortunately, it took no longer than five seconds for Mrs. Cake to trip on a hole in the wooden floor and send sweet pastries into the air. Thinking fast, Pinkie and Dash proceeded to catch every single container except for one.
The one that landed on Pinkie’s head… always.
Fortunately for Pinkamena, the box opened up at the last second and all that splattered upon her face was a sweet creation labeled as chocolate cake. Using only her tongue and spinning it around faster than a tornado, she cleans her whole face by devouring the cake in a matter of seconds while still holding the box she caught on her right hoof. Complementing Mrs. Cake for the cake’s delicious taste, Pinkie Pie introduces Rainbow Dash as they set their boxes down upon a nearby wooden self.
While Pinkie talks about how Rainbow Dash can be a good assistant, Mrs. Cake is frantic to put Dash to work, “Yeah, your help will be much appreciated Rainbow Dash!”
“Um, thank you Mrs. -”
“Quick! Pinkie Pie… Take Rainbow Dash into the kitchen,” Mrs. Cake pulls out a slip of paper with the word “ORDER” clearly written across the top, “and show her how to make this exactly like the customer wants it.”
“Okie-dokie! No problem!” cheered the happy Pinkie as she takes the slip of paper and Rainbow Dash into the kitchen.
As they enter, they see Mr. Cake rolling dough right as the stove timer goes off. Pulling out a fresh batch of un-glazed donuts, he sees Pinkie and Dash and points them towards their work station that’s ready to go with necessary ingredients and tools for their order. Arriving at their position, they grab the white aprons and chef hats off the table and proceed to dress themselves for work.
“So, you ready to get started, Rainbow Dash? Looks like Mr. and Mrs Cake got everything all ready for us,” said Pinkie.
Dash was nervous, “umm…Yeah, Pinkie Pie! So what does that order want us to make?”
“Cupcakes!” she gleefully shouts.
“Cupcakes?” Rainbow Dash scratches her head, “Yeah… sure, ok. Well alright! Pinkie, What exactly do you need me to do?”
“Well… First you take a cup of flour-”
“WITHOUT SINGING!” exclaimed Dash.
“Fine.”
They get started by preheating the oven to a scorching three-hundred and fifty degrees Fahrenheit. While Rainbow Dash struggles to line a muffin pan with foil liners, Pinkie Pie quickly sifts together flour, baking powder, baking soda, cocoa, and salt in a blue bowl. Then using a larger yellow bowl, she violently mixes together butter and sugar until they are seen light and fluffy. Afterwards, she adds three eggs to the mixture while beating them down with each addition. This is then followed by vanilla extract being stirred in.
Adding the bowl’s two mixtures together with milk, Pinkie Pie then beats it until she deemed it to be at a “fine” quality. Next, she fills each muffin cup, the ones Rainbow Dash lined, with three-fourths full of the cupcake batter. Finally, Pinkie lets Rainbow Dash take the four full muffin pans and place them in the oven for fifteen minutes.
In glorious triumph for making cupcakes at rocket speed, Pinkie Pie looks at Rainbow Dash, “And that is how you do it! Hm!”
Wiping off sweat, Rainbow Dash is impressed, “Well… You sure are the best at what you do here!”
She laughs, “I know! But hey Dash-e, do you know what the best part about baking is?”
Rainbow Dash tries to correctly guess, “Umm… sampling?”
“No silly! DECORATING!”
Stumbling for words, “Oh… right. Decorating,” a moment goes by as Dash states, “Um Pinkie Pie. You do know that I haven’t done that before right?”
“I know… But that is why I’m here to help!” Pinkie Pie searches around the table but cannot discover what she’s missing, “Hmmm... It seems like Mrs. Cake forget to get the frosting out for us.”
Eager to help, Dash replies, “Oh don’t worry Pinkie Pie, I will get it,” she glances around, “Umm… Where is it exactly?”
Pointing to a closet on the other side of the kitchen, Pinkie tells Dash, “Well it’s over there, silly!”
“Oh.”
As Rainbow Dash strolls over to the closet and opens up the wood carved door to reveal a full sight of different colored frosting tubes, Rainbow Dash couldn't make up her mind on what tube to return with. Therefore, she decides to carry as much frosting tubes as she can hold. However as Rainbow Dash proceeded to walk back on her hind legs, Pinkie Pie accidentally spills leftover ingredients behind Dash’s hoofs. As a result, the slippery mess manages to cause Rainbow Dash to fall and hit her head on the tile floor.
She knocked herself out on contact.
When Dash regained consciousness, she finds herself staring at a light fixture shining directly in her face. While she tried to shake her head, she noticed she is on the floor covered in frosting and cake batter. Then helping her tilt her head up, Pinkie Pie stares at Rainbow Dash with a smile as she reveals a sharp knife. Shocked by her imagery, Rainbow Dash screams as she bolts out of the Sugar Cube Corner.
Pinkie pouts, “Uh… Well fine! I guess you don’t want a cupcake then!” as she uses her baker’s knife to slice a cupcake in half on the table, giving one-half to Mr. Cake.
Meanwhile inside Rainbow Dash’s bedroom, she has her head tucked under a pillow with the covers pulled over her body. Still shaking from the Pinkie Pie incident, Rainbow Dash decides she doesn't want to bake with her again. Instead, Dash comes to the conclusion that she needs the next job to play to her strengths.
Thinking about the extra job that might be perfect for her, Rainbow Dash decides to soar back into Ponyville and visit the marketplace to see whose hiring. The time is three o’ clock and the afternoon crowd is outside making the scene bustle with shoppers and store employees. Flying above the mass, Rainbow Dash searches each vendor. To her disappointment, she finds no “Help Wanted” posters.
Still frantically looking and not paying attention to her flying, Rainbow Dash accidentally bumps into a mail pony and scatters letters and parcels to the ground.
Rainbow Dash apologies, “I’m so sorry about that!” as she lowers herself to the ground to help the tan pegasus.
“No, no, no. It’s my fault really,” said the mail pony as Rainbow Dash picks up his mail, “Besides I wasn’t looking where I was going away.” A thought comes to mind, “Hey! Since I am not from this town, do you know where the Carousel Boutique is? I just cannot seem to find it.”
“It’s over near the town hall,” recalls Dash before asking, “Do you have something to deliver there?”
“Why yes, but I am running a bit late. Thank you and have a good-”
Dash interrupts, “Oh! I can get it there for you!”
The mail pony raises his left eyebrow, “Really, like fast?”
“In under ten seconds flat. Watch me.”
Rainbow Dash grabs the package and takes off at supersonic speed, out of sight of the mail pony. While he stares at his watch, timing Rainbow Dash and seeing if she can live up to her own hype, Rainbow Dash is already flying back towards him. Hitting the ground hard and spurring up dust on contact, the tan pony record's her time.
“Wow… 9.87 seconds!”
Rainbow Dash gloats, “Told ya so!”
“No kidding.” Overwhelmed, the mail pony then asks, “Hey, have you ever considered being a mail pony? I think with your talents, you would a have a job with us no problem!”
Dash ponders at the idea, “Well maybe… I mean how’s the pay?”
“Well for a starter, I guess around eighteen bits per hour.”
“That sounds awesome!” replied Dash. “Where do I apply?”
The mail pony points in the direction towards the Ponyville Post Office and tells Rainbow Dash to apply for the position of “Mail Carrier.” Two days pass by and Rainbow Dash finds herself being interviewed for the position. While the mail supervisors know that she is the town’s main weather pony, Rainbow Dash declares that she can handle both jobs at the same time. Another day passes by and Rainbow Dash gets a notification in her mail box which informs her that she has been hired. With excitement in her eyes, Rainbow Dash reaffirms herself that the dreams of seeing Pöny Crüe live is only job shifts away.
All in the Name of... Tickets!
Part Two
All in the Name of... Tickets!
***
Day One
“Tit-a-ring, tit-a-ring, tit-a-ring, tit-a-ring!”
The sound of Rainbow Dash’s little key wound clock wakes her up at the joyful time of 3:00 a.m . While her shift as a “Mail Carrier / Weather Pony” starts in an hour, Dash is already groggy from hearing her alarm clock’s ringing. Slapping it, she soon attempts to fight her way out of bed. However the fighting results in Rainbow Dash falling off and hitting her head on the floor, with the covers draping her in defeat.
“Unnnnhhhhhh,” Rainbow Dash groans as she removes the covers from her face.
Fixing herself upright and grabbing the clock, Rainbow Dash reads “3:03 a.m. ” and realizes that she now has less than an hour to be prepared for work. Placing the clock back on her cabinet, Rainbow Dash lightly stomps into the bathroom and reflects upon herself in the mirror. Reflecting back was a blue mare with sagged eyes and a sloppy mane.
“I hate mornings, why are they so evil?” Rainbow Dash remarks upon herself.
Rubbing off the dry rheum in her eyes, Rainbow Dash brushes her mane, fur, and tail. Then after scrubbing her teeth and applying some deodorant underneath her flanks, Rainbow Dash tried to smile at the mirror, but her depression still hung over her as she slumps her shoulders and frowns.
Re-entering the bedroom with her head held low, Rainbow Dash flops on her bed and looks up at the roof. She quietly doses into a snooze. Upon waking up, Rainbow Dash panics at the thought of not knowing what the time is. Staring straight at the clock, she reads “3:45 a.m. ”
“I’m going to be late!” Rainbow Dash shouts as she unfolds her wings.
Soaring out her bedroom window, Rainbow Dash increases her altitude to a level above the skyline of Ponyville. From her perspective, she could see the entire town as she franticly searches for the Post Office. Spotting it, Rainbow Dash free falls into a searing nose dive while driving her body towards the front of the half-timbered building. She forms a Mach cone in the process.
As Rainbow Dash approaches ground level, she pulls herself out of free fall and spreads her wings wide, causing herself to rapidly decelerate. She lands safely and rushes to the front doors. Yanking them with force, Rainbow discovers that they’re locked. As she goes to bang her hoofs on the doors in frustration, they open up and Rainbow Dash’s momentum causes her to plunge forward and face plant the floor.
Standing over her, Crafty Crate hesitantly asks, “Umm… Are you ok?”
Muffled by the floor, Dash responds with haste, “I’m fine, but what time is it?”
“The time is 3:50 ,” Crafty answers, “You’re early Rainbow Dash.”
She sighed, “Yay,” putting her hoof up in triumph.
“Yeah, well bub,” shacking her hoof, “You know what the ponies say! The early bird catches the worm.”
“Yeah,” Dash responds with an unenthusiastic tone.
Crafty laughs, “Ha, ha, ha… Yeah, indeed. Whelp, since I guess you’re here. Let’s go ahead and get you started. So pick yourself up when you’re ready and follow me.”
“Ok,” Rainbow Dash sobs as she gets up.
Heading behind the front counter and into a gargantuan warehouse, Rainbow Dash and Crafty Crate bypass rows of alphabetically and numerically sorted mail. Walking into an employee crew room, Rainbow Dash is greeted by her new co-workers in their uniforms. Meanwhile, Crafty positions himself in the front of the room to announce his morning monologue.
“Attention every pony!” shouted Crafty as the crew turned their heads towards him, “As your manager, I want to start off by introducing Rainbow Dash to our team…”
The whole group barrages Rainbow Dash with “welcomes” and handshakes.
“…and to tell you guys that she will be paired up with Derpy Hooves…”
“Woo-Hoo! Alright!” exclaimed Derpy while Rainbow Dash’s face turned pale.
She thought to herself, “You have got to be kidding me,” as she looked over to see Derpy waving at her. Dash waves back with an agitated smile.
“…and our Crew Trainer Stamps.”
Rainbow Dash thinks to herself, “Stamps? Who’s Stamps?”
She then gets a nudge on her left shoulder. Looking to see who touched her, she recognizes the tan pegasus standing next to her. Turns out, it was the same one that she crashed into a few days ago.
“Oh, that’s Stamps,” Rainbow concludes.
Meanwhile, Crafty continues talking, “Also, I want to remind you all to make sure that you complete your mail rounds on time! Why?” a moment of silence goes by, “Because the management is starting to crack down on mail ponies not finishing their runs within their respective shift times…”
The entire crew is surprised by this fact as they pan their eyes on other crew members, suspecting one of them to be guilty of doing so.
In the meantime, Crafty adds in motivation to finish his speech, “…While I am not concerned with you guys doing this, since we have been fantastic on our times, it still doesn’t give us a reason to slack off. So do your jobs and I promise you there will be no write ups!”
“Yes sir!” the crew shouts.
“And Rainbow Dash! Follow me.”
“Yes sir!” she yells while following Crafty out of the room.
Passing by a locker room, they entered a small study room with a single wooden table setup on one side of the white walls. Rainbow Dash sits down at the table and Crafty slams a thick book in front of her face entitled How to be a Mail Pony… A Basic Guide for New Equestrian Mail Employees . Rainbow Dash is astonished by the size of the book as she opens it up to the index.
“Now Rainbow Dash,” Crafty explains, “As our new employee, your first day will be devoted to reading this book entirely.”
“Really? That’s it? All fifty-four pages?”
“Well,” Crafty adds, “That and I will be coming in and out with stuff you need to fill out.”
Dash nods, “Oh, well ok,” thinking to herself, “Well, this book could be as exciting as reading a Daring Do novel. Right?”
She was wrong.
It took Rainbow Dash less than two pages for her to realize the book’s incredible lack of devotion towards all things centering on the word “Fun.” Refusing to read it, she wasted eight hours doing nothing except signing legal paperwork when it was presented to her. Eventually, Rainbow Dash survived her hours in Hell, with a book she assumed was written by Herpony Melville, and was thankful she took the day off from being a weather pony to help serve her “Day One” as a mail mare.
Leaving the small room, Rainbow Dash rejoiced, “Well, at least I won’t have to do that again! See you tomorrow Crafty and the crew!”
She heads out the back door of the Post Office and returns home.
***
Day Two
As the crew room’s clock reads "3:50 a.m ," Rainbow Dash is found sitting by her locker wearing her new watch she bought yesterday. Today is “Day Two” and she’s ready to help deliver mail with Stamps and Derpy. As the clock turns to "3:55 a.m ," she sees Crafty Crate walk in with his clipboard and typical morning grief. He then proceeds with his announcements while wishing Rainbow Dash luck on her first outing.
“Thanks,” she replies, “Although I’m kinda nervous.”
“Well don’t be,” Crafty responds, “You’ll have Stamps and Derpy to help you out.”
“Yeah Rainbow Dash! It will be fun!” cheered Derpy.
Still having doubt about working with her again, Rainbow Dash is hesitant with her speech. “I sure hope so,” she replies.
“Well fantastic!” Crafty yells, “Now let’s get out there ponies! You all have eight hours left and I don’t want to keep you waiting!”
“Yes sir!” everyone shouts.
Grabbing the mail bags out of their lockers, Rainbow Dash immediately feels the weight of hers as she slugs it on her back. Adjusting posture as she walks, Rainbow Dash follows Stamps and Derpy out of the crew room and through the back door. Once outside, they all takeoff in route towards their mail zone while Stamps explains to Rainbow Dash how to correctly deliver ponies’ mail.
Arriving at their first stop on the south side of Ponyville, the mail box reads “1000 N. Main Street” and Rainbow Dash is quick to search her bag. She pulls out a letter that has the same written address on it and places it in the mail box. Celebrating success, Rainbow Dash moves to the next mail box, grabs the mail within, and places her delivery inside. Proud of her achievement, she repeats this motion a few times until she notices a cloud above her.
Soaring up to meet the cloud, she kicks it into non-existence. Then suddenly, Dash notices more around her.
“Alright you stupid clouds,” she chanted, “Prepare to meet my hoofs! Ahhhhhhh!!!”
Flying to each cloud, Rainbow Dash kicked, punched, smashed, and moved them while quickly diving down to deliver more mail on Main Street. Once she was done with both tasks, Rainbow Dash looks down at the street and up into the sky. Out of breath, she shouts to Stamps, “Well, that was easy!”
He replies, “No kidding… Except it took you twenty minutes to go through fifteen mailboxes.”
Rainbow Dash snorts, “Well I told you that I had to mix in my weather duties! Right!?!” She looks into her bag, “Besides I’m done with my bag!”
Derpy smiles, “Well that is great Rainbow Dash!”
Stamps adds, “But you still have more mail to deliver!”
“Are you kidding me?!?” Rainbow Dash smacks her sweaty face.
“Nope,” Derpy and Stamps respond.
Flying back to the Post Office, Rainbow Dash picks up another bag of mail and continues the routine for three hours. Upon completing their morning rounds, Rainbow Dash, Stamps, and Derpy returned to the office and rested in the crew room for their one hour mid-shift break at "8:00 a.m ." During the rest, Rainbow Dash wonders what she is doing afterwards.
“We are going to go and help the cargo ponies,” Stamps answers, “But since you are a six-hour part-time employee at the moment, I must tell you that your shift will end at eleven.”
Rainbow Dash asked, “So you mean in three hours right?”
“Correct,” Stamps replies.
“Oh. Ok.” Rainbow Dash was disappointed to hear those words.
As the clock read “9:00 a.m ,” they headed to the back to find the Post Office’s clydesdales lifting crates and boxes full of outbound mail. Helping to load the mail into cargo wagons, it didn’t take Rainbow Dash more than twenty minutes for her to feel the exhaustion of her work as she picked up a thirty pound case of feathers. Placing it on the back of a wagon, she repeated the same motion with a box of bricks.
“You know,” Rainbow Dash pants as she talks to Derpy, “Why does this box of bricks,” grunting as she throws it up and onto the transport, “weight as much as the feathers?”
“I don’t know,” Derpy responds.
“Well, you would think that bricks would weigh more than feathers. Right?”
“Right, Rainbow Dash,” said Derpy, “But, thirty pounds is thirty pounds.”
Dash scratches her head, “And it still confuses me.”
“Speak for yourself,” implied Derpy.
“Yeah, true,” replied Rainbow Dash.
Getting back to work, she looked at her watch and read the time to be “9:31 a.m .” Knowing her shift is eventually going to end, Rainbow Dash stepped up her effort and forgot all her intentions on re-checking her watch. With the habit working like magic, she checked her watch at a later time and read “10:52 a.m .” Exhausted, she is happy with the thoughts of her first day and the fact that Pöny Crëw is only about a month away.
After asking permission from Stamps and Crafty Crate, she clocked herself out and tried to fly home.
***
As the number of work shifts began to add up, Rainbow Dash got into a groove of mixing her two jobs together while increasing her performance as a mail mare. However, she began to deteriorate in her level of mental energy. While it didn’t slow her down physically, the two weeks she spent on the jobs began to take their toll. Eventually, Rainbow Dash thought she was going crack until she saw her first paycheck.
“Woo-Hoo!” she shouted in the crew room, “Eight-hundred and sixty-four bits! Ahh yeah!” she fist pumped.
“You really deserve it Rainbow Dash,” Crafty pats her back, “Keep it up! I’m sure those extra two hours will be yours in no time.”
“Thank you!” Dash replies.
Seeing the check restored the mental strength lost in Rainbow Dash as she reminded herself about the payout. Meanwhile, she had the hundred bits saved up for the concert.
“Another two weeks,” spouted Rainbow Dash.
All in the Name of... Tickets!
Part Three
All in the Name of… Tickets!
***
Day Twenty-One
“Ring, Ring, Ring-” Rainbow Dash punched her key wound clock.
Instead of waking up with the usual grogginess in her behavior, Rainbow Dash woke up to a mess of her mental emotions as she threw a temper tantrum in her bed. Upset over the fact that she probably knew what the time was, she still resisted all her mental temptations to check the clock. Instead, she remained in her bed until her mind came to the conclusion that it was inevitable to look at it. Therefore, she slowly rolled onto her side and expressed her sheer annoyance for what she read.
“3:00 a.m! Uggggg,” she grunted. “Why did I agree to be a Mail Mare?”
Rainbow Dash lowered her vocal tone, to represent her subconscious, as she said, “Because you need the bits! After all, you still want to see Pöny Crüe? Right?”
“I do, but is making me work this early going to continue to be worth it?” She rolled on her back and stared at the roof.
“It think it will,” said herself in the lowered tone.
Dash snapped back at herself as she said, “Really?”
“Yes… Just remember to take it one step at a time. Right?”
Rainbow Dash sighed before she whispered, “Yeah. One step at a time.”
As she slid off her bed, Dash set her hoofs down on the floor. Quietly, she escorted herself to the bathroom and erased her sloppy appearance by the hoof of her comb, that fixed her coat and mane. She returned to her bedroom and after she found the time to be “3:27 a.m,” Rainbow Dash proceeded to dress herself in her new mail uniform. After she put on her hat, shined her hoofs, and checked to see if she was ready to go, Dash unfolded her wings and flew out her bedroom window.
As Rainbow Dash arrived inside the crew room at “3:51 a.m,” she stepped over to her locker and sat down upon her stool. After she completely listened to Crafty Crate’s morning announcements, she progressed from the single entrance to the room towards the door that led to the outside of building. Afterwards, she took off and delivered her usual morning rounds while still dealing with the weather. Upon her quick completion, due to her getting faster on her duties, Rainbow Dash sputtered into the break room to serve her mid-shift rest with Stamps and Derpy.
“Hey Rainbow Dash!” nudged Stamps, “I have something for you.”
Tired from her morning hassle, she asked, “What is it?”
Stamps waved a letter in front of Rainbow Dash.
“A letter for me?” said Dash.
“Well it’s your twenty day progress report,” replied the tan pegasus. “Basicly this is your indication on how you are doing and where you need to improve or maintain.”
“Oh,” responded Rainbow Dash, surprised to hear about the report. “Well, can I have it?”
Stamps gave it to her. After she tore the seal off the envelope and grabbed the paper from within, Rainbow Dash unfolded and scanned the entire document. While she thoroughly checked among the “A’s” and “B’s” she received in her mail carrying duties, she found a “D-” by the category of “Mail Presentation” along with a note from Crafty that read:
While Rainbow Dash has been excellent in maintaining her duties while finishing her routes on time, the residents of Ponyville have numerously complained about the conditions of their letters after receiving them from her. The employee will be confronted.
“...Will be confronted?” questioned Rainbow Dash. “I haven’t even been asked about this-”
“Well you are now,” shouted Crafty as he entered the room. “Follow me Rainbow Dash.”
She gulped as she thought, This is not going to be good.
After they progressed down the same long rows of sorted mail, Crafty opened up a door to a room that was about the size of a large closet. Crafty then guided Rainbow Dash into his office while he instructed her to sit down at the head of the broad maple desk. As she took her seat, Rainbow Dash’s nerves from the long walk began to grab a firm hold on her emotions as she twitched her leg in anticipation. Then as Crafty sat down on his end of the desk, she suddenly felt the cold, theatrical silence between herself and the head manager.
“So, Rainbow Dash,” said Crafty.
“Huh.”
“I’m guessing you know why I brought you in here,” asked Crafty Crate. “Right?”
“Umm,” she paused. “It’s because of my performance, right?”
“Correct,” he responded as he pulled out and placed a file marked “Rainbow Dash” on top of the desk. Crafty then opened up the folder and revealed a small stack of completed “Customer Complaint” notes that outlined the date, time, and description of their discontent towards their route deliverer. As Crafty shifted threw the papers, he pulled out on in particular and handed it to Rainbow Dash. He then demanded her to read it out loud.
She cleared her throat and spoke timidly, “My mother, that lived outside of Equestria, recently passed away. Since I wasn’t able to travel to her home to collect and store her small dragon figurine, that she gave to me when I was a filly, it had to mailed to me. Sadly, after seeing it delivered at a very fast and abrupt pace by one of your mail carriers. I’m afraid her mistreatment of my very valuable and personal package is the reason why it arrived broken. Therefore, I’m very disappointed and heart-broken by this and I will not be using the mail service anytime soon.”
Rainbow Dash placed the paper down upon her lap and frowned from the fact that she failed to maintain one of her responsibilities as a mail mare. She was also devastated by the thought that her irrational actions, in order to maintain two jobs, came at the price of her damaging another pony’s stuff. To which those events didn’t go over very well with Crafty after he heard about them through phone calls from the main mail offices in Canterlot along with the ones from the citizens of Ponyville.
He asked, “Ok, now let’s be honest here… and I’m serious. Did it ever, ever occur to you, while on your route, to consider the condition of our customers property? Just like the one in this story? Because I’m pretty sure that this is common sense? Right?”
“Right,” replied Rainbow Dash.
A moment of silence goes by as Crafty waited for Dash to answer his question. However, the pressure from the situation contracted Rainbow Dash’s vocal abilities. Therefore, she made it hard for herself to immediately answer his simple question.
Crafty lifted his shoulders and asked, “Well? It’s a simple question.”
Rainbow Dash hesitantly responded, “I ah…erm.” She slumped her head down. “No.”
Crafty rebuked her answer as he crossed his hoofs and leaned in slightly towards her. He then said, “Now look, Rainbow Dash. It’s as much as my job, as well as yours, to make sure that we can maintain our quality standards, along with our responsibilities, to what is required from corporate and the recipients of our service. Therefore, if somepony is not doing their job… Guess what?”
Rainbow Dash quietly answered, “They get a write up?”
Crafty replied, “No.” He patted his hoof on the notes. “I get these papers telling me what you should be doing, but aren’t for the sake of time, right?”
“Right,” said Rainbow Dash.
“Alright then,” replied Crafty. “Now what should you be doing instead of breaking people’s packages?”
Rainbow Dash responded with a lack of assurance in her tone, “Make sure they arrive at their mailbox safe and undamaged?”
“And?” asked Crafty.
“Slow down?”
Crafty smiled and nodded his head to let Rainbow Dash know she was correct. “Now, you are going to promise me that you are going to do that? I mean, because if I get another one of these stacks of papers again… It’s not going to be good for you. Ok?”
“Yes sir,” said Rainbow Dash.
“Alright, then. Step it up.” said Crafty.
“No problem,” Dash said while she extended her hoof out to shake Crafty’s.
After the short meeting, Rainbow Dash got out her seat and exited the room while she kept the story tucked under her wing. Displaying it inside her locker, she placed it there to serve as a reminder to take it easy on what she was doing. To which, the idea worked. Her her job performance slightly improved since she took it upon herself to fly at a brisk speed when she delivered the mail. However when a cloud flouted into her sight, Rainbow Dash placed her mail atop of a roof, to prevent an Earth Pony from stealing it, and flew at a her usual subsonic speed to completely annihilate the cloud. Afterwards, she returned to her pouch and continued her route.
As another seven-days passed, Rainbow Dash kept up her new strategy while her determination deteriorated with the sweat and energy from her work. However, the idea awarded itself with an impressed Crafty Crate, no new complaints, and another paycheck for eight-hundred and sixty-four bits. Therefore, she granted her desire to see Pöny Crüe after twenty-eight days of hard labor.
Now she must go and see them.
All in the Name of... Tickets!
Part Four
All in the Name of… Tickets!
***
Warning
This part of the story was written for fun and contains pony-fied versions of the 1980's Mötley Crüe.
Therefore, their might be some fan-fair ahead. Enjoy!
***
The Concert
“Tonight’s Act: Pöny Crüe” were the words displayed on a large black banner that hung outside The Canterlot Hall. As Rainbow Dash walked underneath the large sign, she entered the main theater and was visually treated to the sight of the stage’s luminescent ruby glow. Produced from it’s yolk-lights, they shone down upon the hall’s white marble architecture while it’s glass stained windows lit up with each beam of light that passed by. After they displayed their beautiful craftsmanship, they blended back into the room’s dimly lit atmosphere. Meanwhile, the air was coated in thin mist while the floor was dominated by a mosh pit of ponies that talked and waited for the show to begin.
Wow, there is a lot of people here , thought Rainbow Dash. I guess this is the reason why the band is here in-
Her thought was interrupted by a loud pyrotechnic explosion that startled her. Then, the sound of an air raid siren echoed across the entire auditorium as the red lights dimmed into the darkness. As the crowd began to scream, Rainbow Dash tried to focus on the black curtain that fell to the floor after the blast. However, her attention shifted towards the sign that lit up to display the words “Pöny Crüe” in flames. This raised the room temperature slightly as Rainbow Dash, who managed to sneak herself onto one of black barriers in the first row, felt the fire’s warmth upon her face.
“ARE YOU READY?!” announced a stallion’s voice on the loudspeaker, while the siren continued to go off.
The crowd cheered back in response.
“I SAID! ARE… YOU… READY!?”
The crowd thunderously roared louder than before.
“ALRIGHT THEN CANTERLOT! FROM THE CITY OF LOS ANGELS! HERE THEY ARE!
As the siren died down, the band’s tan earth pony drummer, Tommy Lee, began to play the heart pounding rhythm to the their opening song, “All in the Name of ” as the stage lights flushed the pony’s drum set green.
“THE BAD STALLIONS OF ROCK’N ROLL!”
A guitarist, that wore a black coat and top hat, appeared and began to immediately play the song’s melody as a spotlight hit him on the left side of the stage. As he bathed in the beam, his electric presence channeled from metal strings of his wooden guitar to the crowd’s energy level. As it rose, the desire scream became almost unbearable as Rainbow Dash shouted at the stallion that stood above her. To which she could clearly see it was the grey unicorn, Mick Mars.
“PÖNY CRÜE!”
Another burst of fireworks went off as four pillars of fire blasted into air from the front of the stage. As Dash felt the burning heat of the thirty-foot flames, she saw the lights shine on Vince Neil and Nikki Sixx, wearing an appropriate amount of leather be-dazzled in rhinestones, as they sprinted from the right wing towards front of the audience. Along with Mars, they faced the crowd like gargantuan rock gods while Neil wiped around his long blonde mane before he “sang” his verses as fast as Mars and Sixx plucked their instruments. Then after the first line of their song, they dispersed from each other and ran towards the opposite ends of their theatrical rock stage in full, testosterone filled force.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was in complete awe of the cavernous construction of lights, amps, and wires being coordinated by the live music produced from the band’s instruments. As they were played accordingly, their fluency commanded the Rock’n Roll circus while it overwhelmingly took full control of their audiences’, which included Rainbow Dash’s, emotions. With it captured, the Crüe made the mass feel rowdy during the songs “Dancing on Glass,” “Ten Seconds to Love,” and “Looks that Kill,” or mellow during their harmonic ballad “Home Sweet Home.”
It was “Live Wire” though, that really got to Rainbow Dash. Since it was “that one song” she waited in anticipation for them to play, she managed to create one of the biggest smiles she ever made while Mars started the song’s guitar riff. This is then accompanied by Tommy’s “thuds” on the drum as Mars hit the pentacle of his melody. A loud “chaaa” is then made by Vince before the rest of band played out the full intro to the song. Then as Neil began to sing his verses, Rainbow Dash thought her night was perfect since she was hearing favorite song by the Crüe live.
Sadly, the song had to end the gig.
As Pöny Crüe played the beats and chords to end the tune, they unleashed a final “hurrah” of bombs and fire that covered the roof in gunpowder smoke. Meanwhile, Neil, Sixx, Lee, and Mars stood up to the roaring crowd as they formed a line to bow towards them. While the spotlights still shined down upon them, Neil finished his bow and ran up to his stand to shout into the microphone one last time.
“THANK YOU CANTERLOT! YOU ALL HAVE BEEN F**KING INCREDIBLE! GOODNIGHT!” said Vince before he took his mic and dropped it to the floor by accident.
He decided to leave it there as it picked up and echoed him saying, “S**t,” while he and the other members of the band walked off the stage and out of the view to Rainbow Dash, whose mind was completely blown by the sheer power of their show. She then turned around and joined the sweaty mass of bodies as she tried to the exit the venue by lightly bumping into other ponies. After about ten minutes of roughing herself up with all the pushing and banging, she managed to exit the hall and catch the night train home.
“uuuhhhgggg,” grunted Rainbow Dash as she plopped herself down onto her bed at home.
With the memory of Pöny Crüe burning in her head, Rainbow Dash’s triumph of finally seeing them was satisfied with a smile upon her face as she tucked herself underneath her covers. However, as she turned off her bed-side lamp, the pain of her aching body, from standing for about four hours, finally caught up to her as Rainbow Dash felt her tendons contract with each turn of her body. While most ponies would moan and complain about the unpleasant agony of sore muscles, Rainbow Dash found comfort in her misery as she welcomed the cramps like battle wounds from her intense assault of live rock music. With that in mind, she closed her eyes and thought about the fact that she was still going to be incredibly sore in the morning.
However it didn’t bother her since tomorrow was Saturday, therefore she knew she had all weekend to recover from the concert before she returned to work on Monday.
“Good Night, Tank,” said Rainbow Dash as she drifted into slumber.
All in the Name of... Tickets!
Part Five
All in the Name of… Tickets!
***
Day Forty-Two
As the mare slept and snored quite loudly, the sun’s radiation beamed through the window blinds of Rainbow Dash’s unusually quiet bedroom. Accompanied by the morning birds that sang outside her window, the light slowly moved from the footboard of her puffy cloud bed and onto her closed eyes. Awoken by its heat, Rainbow Dash let out a yawn and stretched her forelegs out as far as she could reach. As she wiped off the rheum in her eyes, Rainbow Dash realized her usual grogginess wasn’t within her and that she felt more well-rested for a typical Monday morning. Confused as to why she was this way, Rainbow Dash turned her head towards Tank, who lay inside his enclosure.
Dash let out another yawn before she said, “Good morning, Tank… Gosh, heh. I sure do feel better for a Monday…” her vocal tone deepened with regret, “morning.”
A thought suddenly came to her and Rainbow Dash immediately felt her heart and soul sink. Unable to mentally contain what was going on, Rainbow Dash jerked her head over towards the bed-side counter and urgently grabbed her clock to read it. With extreme disbelief for what she saw the first time, she shook the key wound clock a couple of times before gazing at it with the hopes that it was just broken. Unfortunately for her, it was working properly.
As its hands moved to display the time 11:21 a.m , Rainbow Dash said frantically, “Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!!! I missed my shift!” She then leaned back and banged her noggin on the headboard.
Afterwards, she threw off the covers of her bed and rushed into her bathroom. Upon her arrival, the rainbow mare decided not to waste her time with the details of her appearance. Instead, she quickly fixed up anything she considered a consequence of bed rest, which included brushing her scruffy mane, fur, and tail. Eliminating her awful body odor, she ran back into her bedroom and unfolded her wings.
Rocketing out her open window, Rainbow Dash accelerated towards the Ponyville Post Office. While she gained some altitude in order to fly over the roofs of the town, some of the hay would blow off into the whirlwind of Rainbow Dash’s high speed air channel. Meanwhile, she was forming a mach cone until she spread her wings wide to decelerate for the oncoming office. However, she quickly realized that she failed to correctly judge the displacement between herself and the building. As a result, she smacked into the sign above the office.
After she slid off the display, Rainbow Dash fell and hit the ground supine, spurring up some dust upon her collision. She then moaned from the pain until she heard the sound of hooves clopping towards her. As she closed her eyes, hoping they weren't from who she thought it was, the sound of the hoof-steps got closer. Rainbow Dash clenched her body together, ignoring the agony of her condition. When she opened her eyes, it was upon her relief to see a pink pony standing above her.
“Ummm… Rainbow Dash, what are you doing on the ground?” asked Pinkie Pie.
Dash let out a grunt before she said, “Trying to re-discover gravity.”
“Oh, well let me join you,” said Pinkie as she turned her back towards Rainbow Dash, readying herself to sit down next to her.
“Actually Pinkie, that won’t be necessary,” insisted Rainbow Dash. She then managed to pick herself up and off the grass.
“Hmm.. Alright! Well, what were you actually doing on the ground anyway?” asked the pink pony.
“Well Pinkie, I was trying to get here as fast as I could, but I somehow lost control of my flying and crashed into the sign above us,” replied Rainbow Dash as she pointed to the post office’s mail sign.
“Wait… you lost control of your flying?” Pinkie Pie raised her eyebrow.
“Yeah, well... You see...” Rainbow Dash’s vocal tone became hesitant. Since she had to tell Pinkie Pie the truth, anyway, she walked with her away from the office and into a nearby alleyway. In the seclusion of their location, Rainbow Dash told Pinkie, “I woke up late for work and as soon as I saw my clock, I flew out of my bedroom and straight towards the post office. But since I was more worried about being late, I kinda didn't pay attention to what was in front of me and BAM!”
“BAM?!” exclaimed Pinkie, her eyes and mouth widened.
“I hit the sign... hard ...” Rainbow Dash sighed as she lifted her fore-hoof to scratch her head.
“Ouch,” replied Pinkie, flinching to show sympathy for her friend’s pain. “Well, are you still okay? Nothing broken?”
Rainbow Dash murmured, “My pride.”
“What was that?”
“My pride,” replied the frustrated Rainbow Dash, slightly gnashing her teeth. “My pride is broken and I have no idea what to do right now.”
“Ummm… I’m going to assume this has to do with the whole ‘being late’ thing?” asked Pinkie.
“Yeah, I mean… Pinkie...” Dash clinched her eyes, “From what I did today, I know that I’m going to get fired once I show up tomorrow and see my manager, Crafty.”
The party pony gasped, “Really? I mean are you sure about that!?!”
“I’m sure,” replied Rainbow Dash. “And now that I think about it, I’m realizing that I might be able to take the morbid pain of losing the job since I have come to want the extra hours after my ninety day probationary period. Therefore, I’m stuck between what I want and what must happen.”
“Well,” said Pinkie with sharp, poignant tone. “As your good buddy, Pinkie Pie, I must say to you as a friend, despite it being hard to take, but it seems like you must face what’s coming to you no matter what holds you back. However… The cunning Pinkamena says that if there's a way out of this situation, to which you still keep your job, then this might be the time to think about it… Besides this story needs a more interesting climax.”
“Huh?” Rainbow Dash was confused by Pinkie’s last statement.
“Oh… Never mind that point,” replied Pinkie, trying to make Rainbow Dash ignore what she just said. “Just focus on what I presented to you.”
“Alright,” said Rainbow Dash with some exaggeration.
While she thought for a second that Pinkie Pie went crazy, the rainbow pony decided to ponder on the ideas that she was presented with. On one hoof, she knew that Crafty Crate wasn’t going to be happy to see her once she got within his sight. Therefore, she would be forced to deal with the agony of being fired. Meanwhile, on the other hoof, she thought about the boring training manual and slightly remembered the first passage entitled ‘Absence from Work.’ She recalled the fact that if she was absent from work on a single day and deemed a “No Show,” then she must present a doctors note, stating her reason why she missed work, the next day or otherwise face “the appropriate action determined by the manager.” An idea clicked in Rainbow Dash’s head. She immediately told Pinkie Pie.
“Are you sure about that?” asked the pink pony.
Rainbow Dash answered, “Well… yeah... I mean if you can write my doctor’s note and I present it to him tomorrow, then everything should be fine... Although I’ll have to swallow my regrets.”
Pinkie Pie wasn’t fond of the idea; narrowing her worried eyes, she told Dash, “I think that’s a bad idea, Dashie.”
She replied, sighing, “I kinda think so too, but I also believe it can be pulled off if we tried. If it works, I’ll promise not to be so flaky on your baking again.” Rainbow Dash raised a nervous grin towards Pinkie as she curled her lip.
As she thought about the fact that Rainbow Dash was willing to commit on a “high risk, high reward” idea, along with adding a bit of bribery, her subconscious still said, This is a bad idea, Pinkie. You need to tell RD to go and confront her boss about the truth despite the consequences . However, she remembered a lesson from Twilight Sparkle about how some ponies, such as herself, can only learn by experiencing the lesson the hard way or by a self-constructed scenario. Often times, as Pinkie recalled, it’s a much more memorable learning experience that can remain reminiscent in a pony’s walnut-sized brain.
Still, Pinkie wanted to be sure that Rainbow Dash was serious about the plan. She questioned Dash’s intentions a final time.
Rainbow Dash responded with confidence, “Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I see how it can work... I mean, as long as we can obtain a doctor’s note…” she paused, remembering something, and then stated, “You know what? I think I have one at home that you can edit. Is that okay?”
Pinkie Pie took in a deep breath of air before she said, “Yeah, that will be nooooo problem!” with a flourish of her fore-hoof.
“Great,” replied Rainbow Dash. “Now, let’s get out of here before somepony discovers us here!”
She then took the liberty to look around and, with a jerk and widened moderate cerise eyes, noticed the eerie setting, what with the grimy trash cans and dirty brick walls, before she slowly flew out of there.
“Okie-dokie-loki,” responded Pinkie Pie as she hopped away with Rainbow Dash.
Since the earth pony wasn’t able to walk on clouds, she waited outside Rainbow Dash’s home while the very light cerulean pegasus retrieved the doctor’s note from her cabinet in the living room. Upon descending to the ground were Pinkie waited, Rainbow Dash dropped a pencil in front of the pink pony while Dash planted her hooves on the dirt and grass. As she took out the crumpled note from underneath her wing, Rainbow Dash apologized for its condition as they proceeded over towards an old tree stump where they will edit the paper.
As Pinkie Pie looked down upon the document, a certain word caught her attention. “Umm… Rainbow Dash? What is this word? Pra-ziq-uan…”
Rainbow Dash silenced Pinkie Pie. “Just ignore that and make the changes I tell you.”
“Alrighty then,” smiled the party pony.
As she worked with Rainbow Dash, she changed around some of context found within the note to reflect upon the lie that Rainbow Dash had caught a cold. After Pinkie Pie was done with the edits, she handed the note back to Rainbow Dash with a smirk. Dash thanked her for helping out.
“Not a problem at all!” cheered Pinkie Pie.
Dash giggled before she said, “Yeah… Well, I guess I need to go back to my house and wait until tomorrow. So, I’ll see you around!”
“Wait!” exclaimed Pinkie, reaching out her fore-hoof.
Rainbow Dash responded with urgency, “What?”
“What about your weather duties?” asked Pinkie.
“Oh, that? I have the day off today,” replied Rainbow Dash.
“Oh,” the earth pony blurted.
“So, yeah. Nothing to worry about there, buddy.” Rainbow Dash started to fly up towards her home. “So, I guess I’ll be leavin ya! Goodbye, Pinkie Pie!”
“Bye, Rainbow Dash, and good luck!” Pinkamena waved to her, and then she thought, narrowing her light cerulean eyes, You are going to need it .
***
Day Forty-Three
A sense uneasiness was present with Rainbow Dash as she sat on her stool and waited inside the crew room for Crafty Crate to show up. While she has already fooled her co-workers into thinking she was sick yesterday, by carefully showing the forged note to some of them, the one stallion that remained to be notified, about her reason, walked into the room with his typical gruffy attitude and clipboard. As he stepped over towards the white board and faced his crew, he stated his morning announcements before noticing Rainbow Dash in the corner.
“So, good luck to all of you today,” said Crafty as he looked over towards her. “And as for you, Rainbow Dash... I will need to see you in my office during your break today.”
Dash was baffled by demand, but she replied, “No problem at all.”
“Alright then, lets get out there!” shouted Crafty as he turned to leave the room.
“Yes, sir!” replied the whole crew.
***
The Office
As the clock ticked in Crafty’s office, it displayed the time: 8:02 a.m . As he sat by his desk with his hoofs crossed, he glared upon a piece of paper until a knock was heard from the door.
Looking up, he yelled, “Come in!”
When the door opened up, Rainbow Dash appeared before him with the note underneath her wing.
“Ah, yes. Rainbow Dash! Please sit down right there and leave the door open,” said Crafty as he pointed to the same chair she sat down in during their first confrontation.
“Thank you,” Rainbow Dash replied while she sat down on the wooden chair, making it creek in the process. “This is for you,” said the rainbow pony as she slid the note to him. She then spoke with a clear voice, “I’m very sorry for missing work yesterday since I got a cold over the weekend. Therefore, I had to spend my time in bed until I could check up with a doctor on Monday... to make sure I was well enough to work.”
“I see,” replied Crafty as he read the note:
The Clinic at Ponyville Hospital
7 / 10 / 12
9 / 11 / 12
Supervised Under: Dr. Red Heart
Note of Visit
Rainbow Dash visited me with upset stomach problems, to which have caused her to undergo a fully developed colic * cold. Therefore, I have told her to remain on her feet and walking while NOT stopping to rest. Afterwards, I have told her to take it easy and rest while advising her buy a round of an praziquantel and ivermectin mix to prevent any other possible complications. **She will be fine to return to work on Tuesday. *
Signature: Dr. Red Heart Time of Visit: 1:32 p.m Patent Room: A113
***
As Crafty placed the note down on the desk, he crossed his hoofs and snorted out a pocket of air, looking at Rainbow Dash with his lips tightened. His eyes sharpened and focused on her. Meanwhile, Crafty’s emotion towards the pony that sat in front of him wasn’t anything close to happy. Instead, it was confusion in regards towards the same story that was told from her and the note.
As for Rainbow Dash, she felt uncomfortable with Crafty’s stare. With her face paling from the apprehensions she thought, Rainbow Dash swished her legs, that dangled from the chair, back and forth. While she lingered on the fear of being caught in her lie, her eyes wandered around the office and out of the focus of Crafty’s until he cleared his throat. She silently gulped as her eyes became fixated on the annoyed expression that was projected by Crafty’s face.
“Well,” said Crafty. “According to your note, the doctor said you had upset stomach problems to which it lead you getting a cold? Right?”
“Yeah… you're right,” said Rainbow Dash. “It was a horrible cold too.”
“I see,” replied Crafty. “And yet Friday you were fine?”
“Actually, I wasn't.” Rainbow Dash pretended to feel a bit of shame towards not telling Crafty that she was “sick,” in order to help promote her false story.
This surprised Crafty as he put a hoof on his chin. “Really?”
“Yeah,” moaned Rainbow Dash. “Although I did try my best to get through the shift despite nearly throwing up in the crew room during the break, twice.”
“I see… And yet you were well enough to say hello to everyone, smile, complete your rounds on time, and even survive being in the morning heat?” asked the white stallion.
“Yes,” said Rainbow Dash with a bit of slight hesitation, fearing that Crafty was trying to poke holes in her story.
Meanwhile, Crafty took in a long breath of air and exhaled it before placing both of this front hoofs, along with his head, down on the maple desk. Then a faint sound of laughter could be heard as Crafty’s head bobbed from his hysteria. Then as he began to lift his forehead towards Rainbow Dash, she could see the extensions of Crafty’s cheekbones as they helped form the wide smile that ran across his entire face. As he brought himself back up to a proper composure in his chair, he wiped the small tear from his left eye while giggling for a reason unknown to Rainbow Dash.
Curious and confused as to why he suddenly broke out in a laughing frenzy, she felt forced to ask, “Umm… sir? Why are you laughing?”
“Because…”
As Crafty began to calm down, he crossed his hoofs again while shaking his head in a downward direction. He then looked up at Rainbow Dash and told her, “Do you know how long I’ve had this job?
“No, sir,” replied Rainbow Dash.
“Sixteen years,” he responded.
Dash remained quiet since she just assumed that he knew the stunt she’s trying to pull off.
Crafty repeated, “Sixteen years I've had this job. Ten of them have been dedicated to this position.”
Rainbow Dash dishearteningly said, “Wow.”
Crafty continued his speech. “Yeah, so therefore, I have experienced this situation with a lot of new mail employees... And believe me when I say I did this EXACT stunt with another job I had before this one. So, you aren’t the first one to perform what you are doing right now. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” replied Rainbow Dash.
“Also, do you understand that lying to me, your manager, doesn’t help me to think anything better about you and that it puts yourself in a position that isn’t in your favor?”
Rainbow Dash sighed, “I understand.”
“Well then…” said Crafty before he put his two hoofs together. “I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash, but since you provided me with a false note while lying to me and not being honest, along with your earlier reports, I’m afraid that you have earned three strikes from and me. Therefore, I’m going to have to let you go.”
There was a moment of silence between themselves as Rainbow Dash took in a breath of air. As she exhaled, Dash responded with sincerity, “Thank you.”
“Now if you'll excuse me, I need to grab some papers for you,” said Crafty as he pushed away from his desk, reaching down to open up a drawer.
As he removed the documents entitled ‘Termination of Employment’, he handed Rainbow Dash a quill and ink jar and began to help her fill out the legal papers. After about thirty minutes, she completed the task while Crafty gathered up the documents to file them. Then with nothing else left to do between themselves, Crafty looked at Rainbow Dash and extended his fore-hoof.
“Thank you,” said Crafty as they shook hooves. “I wish the best of luck to you and I guess that will be all.”
“Thank you,” Rainbow Dash replied. As she got up and out of her seat, she turned to Crafty and wished him a good day as she exited the office. Thus, she ended her job with dignity for him. Crafty smiled and wished her a great day as well.
All in the Name of... Tickets!
Epilogue
All in the Name of… Tickets!
***
A Desk at Home
As the day turned into night, Rainbow Dash sat by her desk with Tank resting by the foot of her chair. In front of her was a lit candle and a completed letter that was addressed to Princess Celestia. After signing her name on it, she feebly placed the quill back in the ink jar and turned away from the desk with the letter in her hoof. Exposing the written words in another light, she, with a sigh, recited her words a final time to Tank:
Dear Princess Celestia,
While it may seem hard to admit, there are jobs out there that can either be too difficult for you to handle or not suitable to your particular skills and talents. Therefore, it should be essential to know what you might be getting yourself into while not letting your ambitions and desires make a rational, yet important decision. Otherwise, you’ll probably do something that you’ll regret later.
Yours truly,
Rainbow Dash
She set the letter back down on the desk. Tilting her head after picking up Tank, she looked into his eyes and spoke out the word, “Nevermore?”
Tank gave her a blank expression.
She then hugged Tank, saying with a soft voice, “Nevermore.”
All in the Name of... Tickets!
Prologue
All in the name of... Tickets!
As the sun rises in the eastern sky, morning creeps up on the town of Ponyville. While every pony wakes up for the day, Rainbow Dash is already outside working on clearing clouds across the skyline by ether moving or kicking them out of sight. As she works, usually nothing from the ground catches her attention at the early hours. However today is different, for she couldn’t help but notice a brown pony, dressed in black be-dazzled leather, putting up a poster at Town Hall.
Flying down to confront the pony about the fact that posters cannot be displayed in Ponyville without a permit, Rainbow Dash softly lands on the ground and takes a glimpse at the colorful poster being presented. She immediately gets excited as she reads:
COMING THIS FALL!
THE CANTERLOT HALL
PROUDLY PRESENTS…
THE GREATEST ROCK’N ROLL BAND IN THE WORLD
PÖNY CRÜE
PERFORMING LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN EQUESTRA!
ALL THE HITS!
ALL THE SPECTACLES!
ALL THE HAIR!!!
Shouting in hysteria, “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!” Rainbow Dash flies off and performs a couple of aerial loops while beaming with thoughts of her favorite band performing in Equestria. However as she sets herself down to Earth, all those dreams of her seeing them live gets shoved aside as she reads, “One Ticket for Admission: 200 Bits.”
“TWO-HUNDRED BITS PER TICKET!?!” Rainbow Dash shouts, “Uuuuggggg!!!!”
She smacks her face.
