Blade

Traveling south in Ponyville would lead one to the downtown. While it wasn’t quite what other ‘downtowns’ were in size, it still housed all of the taboos.

At the intersection of Libman Lane and Hoofhill there was a block known as Pleasure Island. On it, there were six buildings; a smoke shop, an indoor arena, two convenience stores, a gentleman’s club, and a bar.

The bar; Mel’s Saloon, was named after the owner and bartender, Melvin Lowe. Despite the block’s reputation with the local police department and the townsfolk in general, Melvin was able to maintain a clean, enjoyable environment.

Nearly all patrons were regulars, always enjoying themselves and the presence of their friends, also regulars. Having run the bar for several years, Melvin was also happy along with them.

Out of all the patrons however, there were three that he identified with on close personal levels. These patrons were none other than Berry Punch, Lyra Heartstrings, and Rarity Germane.

Berry had been one of his first customers and stayed one through thick and thin, including a pregnancy.

Lyra had been close friends with Melvin since his childhood and had also supported the bar since it opened.

Rarity, who never pursued her career in fashion design and instead became a civil engineer, had also been friends with Melvin since his youth.

This particular night, it was snowing outside and the cobblestone roads were veiled by a powdery white blanket. It had been a few days after a search for a missing field manager had been initiated that Lyra and Berry were sitting at the bar, having a dispute as Melvin watched.

“It’s not safe for her! You need to pay more attention to your daughter! Your sister can’t always do the work!” Lyra shouted at her ruby-wine colored adversary.

Several empty shot glasses scattered around her, Berry sat in her stool with her head on the bar, quite drunk.

“I love my little princess! Don’t you tell me what to do with her!” She shambled in retort. “Why don’t you take care of your own kid?”

Berry hiccupped.

“Oh wait!” She sarcastically realized. “You can’t! Queer!”

After saying this, Berry mumbled an unstoppable flow of sloppy laughs.

Lyra glared.

“At least I have somepony to hold. It’s not like I go fucking every guy I meet in Manehattan and get knocked up!”

Berry lifted her head up with a gasp.

“Fuck you!” She squawked with one of her eyelids sagging. “Don’t you dare talk about my princess that way, queer!”

Melvin had gotten bored of the routine.

“Alright, you two! Knock that shit off! We’re all friends here.” He mentioned, pushing the two apart.

Berry glanced up from her make-believe pillow.

“Shut up, Melvin. Lyra and Me hate each other’s guts, and you know it.”

Melvin frowned sternly.

“Can’t you two at least try?”

“You know I do, Mel.” Lyra assured, looking at him.

“Yea, you’re good, but you really should stay away from those kinda subjects with her. You know how she gets.”

“Subjects!?” Berry shouted upward. “There are no subjects, ‘cause there’s nothing wrong, queer!” She ranted. “I don’t have todoanythingabouthoweyeshhesafirmatreemarta………..”

Berry’s words started mixing together, and her mind simply stopped caring about the conflict as her head slammed back down and blacked out.

Lyra shook her head disapprovingly.

It was then that the clock struck and the doors burst open as if on cue. In walked a white unicorn mare with jagged violet hair mostly covered by a hardhat. She stopped, took off her fur coat, placed it on the rack by the door, and waved to all the patrons shouting; “R is back! Anypony miss me?” To which everyone happily replied; “Oh, just Everypony!” after which they broke out into a round of enthusiastic laughter as she finished her way to the bar and sat down on her usual stool.

She grinned widely, looked Melvin in the eye, and said; “The usual, Mel.”

Melvin smiled back, reaching under the bar. “Scotch, single malt, no ice. Just like always, eh?”

“Fuck yea.” She replied. “Especially after today’s job.”

“What’ve they got going on for the crew now, R?” He asked.

“They’re making us take over that shithole gem farm uptown.”

Lyra put her beer down and turned to Rarity, intrigued. “Wait a second. You mean the one that had the manager go missing?”

“Well what other gem farm could I be talking about, Darling?”

“Jiminy.” Melvin gawked, pouring Rarity’s drink. “What do you guys think happened to that Kanker guy?”

“They said there were blood stains in his office, so my bet is that he got snuffed.” Rarity replied.

“Serves him right, ya know.” Lyra added. “I heard he was a real bastard.”

“You know, I think the guy came in here once.” Melvin mentioned.

The two turned to him, surprised.

“Yea, I’m almost positive he did. Big bulky motherfucker. Ordered some pussy shit like light beer or something.”

Melvin chuckled loudly.

“I tell ya, this guy was heavy as all hell, but he sure was lightweight if ya catch my drift.” He said chuckling again.

“He couldn’t be as lightweight as Bonbon.” Rarity teased.

“Screw you.” Lyra smiled, elbowing Rarity playfully. “She can hold plenty.”

“Anypony can hold ‘plenty’, darling. It just depends on how well you do it.”

“Whatever.”

“Anyhow, here’s your drink, ya crazy broad.” Melvin finished, sliding her drink over to her.

Melvin had known Rarity long enough to know that she drank all of her liquor from a regular glass, no matter how hard or straight it was. Rarity took a large swig of the beverage and let out a loud sigh when she finished.

She took off her hard hat, revealing her un-brushed and untamed mane. She placed it in front of her and turned to Lyra, putting her left elbow on the bar.

“Speaking of your girlfriend being drunk-“

“Oh, shut up.” Lyra interrupted lightheartedly.

“You remember the time she told us about all those naughty things you two did on Nightmare Night?” She immediately continued.

“Hey!” Lyra’s voice quieted so that no other patrons would hear. “Don’t bring that up here.”

“You know what I never got?” Rarity ignored. “What is it that’s so great about being gay?”

“What do you mean, R? You starting something?” Lyra suddenly scowled.

“No, no!” Rarity assured, surprised. “I’m just confused at why you like mares when there’s nothing like getting pounded by a big, brute, stallion.” She said with sensuality in her voice and eyes.

Melvin quickly became uncomfortable.

“Hey, could you knock that off? The last thing I want is to picture is you all bent over with some huge bastard humping you.”

“Oh fine.” Rarity pouted. “You’re just jealous, Melly.”

“Yea, I think I’d rather pump a watermelon.” He sneered.

“Oh fuck you.” She teased, puckering her lips. “I bet you’d take that back if you weren’t married.”

Melvin smirked.

“You know, on second thought, I think I’ll still take the watermelon over my wife.”

Lyra spit out her drink and guffawed, pounding her hoof on the table. Both Rarity and Mel joined in. Even Berry’s subconscious forced her to giggle a bit in her daze.