What's She Really Like?

by Carpetbagger

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 1590

Coat and Arms start their first day as Royal Guards in Canterlot while continuing a family tradition

Coat and Arms are two pegasi brothers that come from a family tradition of serving in Canterlot's Royal Guard. Just their luck, they were picked for the first watch as personal bodyguards for Princess Celestia herself. Can Coat and Arms make it through their first day without making total mules out of themselves or will they be banished to the moon before they even make it to their post?

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Published 2012-04-08 23:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-08 23:14:02 UTC

What's She Really Like?

It's only been a few hours since Princess Celestia has raised the sun, and it's already a beautiful Saturday. The birds are chirping as they grace the cloudless skies, a cool breeze is flowing through the air, and two royal bodyguards are making their way through the halls of Canterlot Castle to begin their day...

"So wha'cha think she's like?"
"Who?"
"You know who..."
"If this she is of whom I believe you are addressing, This conversation is over. You got that Arms?"
"C'mon Coat, I know you're thinkin' the same thing."
"I will not spend this shift getting caught up in foolish gossip."
"Well we do have about... 13 minutes before our shift starts..."

Coat glances over at his brother Arms to see him grin.

"Fine, but tis' a better idea proceed around the corner to avoid prying ears." Coat declares as he breaks out of his march like walking rhythm and into a more subtle sneak. Arms follows suit as the two brothers pass by the Canterlot Archives: Starswirl the Bearded Wing, around the corner and into a dead hallway only decorated by a potted plant sitting in the corner of a blank wall.

"So... what'cha you think she's like bro?" Arms asks, breaking the silence.

"One should see her as strict and formal figure. With such responsibilities, she must represents an entire kingdom, nay an entire country!" Coat declares as he raises his muzzle to the air and puffing his chest out.

Arms stares at Coat while cocking his head in confusion.

"Is that the best you could think of bro?
"Tis' my opinion dear brother. What say you?"

Arms leans his back against the wall opposite to his brother, while folding his forelegs across his chest.

"Didn't you hear bout' those six mares that crashed the Gala last year? I heard she invited em'. I even heard from one of the guest that she was seen at Doughnut Joe's with them laughin' about what happened. An' then there was that time when a pegasus stole her pet Phoenix, she got caught an everythin' but nothin' happened to her. No, prison, no banishment to the moon, nuthin' but an' apology. An' I heard from a reliable source that she had to go an' save Ponyville because her student lost her marbles an' caused a riot..."

Coat raises an eyebrow at his brother while frowning.
"So, what's the point?"

Arms lowers back down to a standing position before stretching and unfolding his wings before continuing.

"The point, I'm gettin' at is that maybe she ain't as regal as everypony thinks. Maybe deep down she wants to be a normal pony jus' like us."
"You must be kidding..." Coat replies in a stern tone, followed by a deadpan frown.

"Think about it bro..." Arms continues his theory as he sits down and raises his front legs and placing a hoof across his heart, he raises his other up, reaching out before him dramatically while looking up with dialated pupils and making a lip quivering frown. Arms slips out of his Baltimare accent and into something fancy."
"...Princess Celestia of Equestria, a prisoner of her own title and duties. The tragic tale of an allicorn godess that would give it all up just to walk amongst her subjects as an equal. Imagine the days she spends staring at the hoizon wondering what life would be like, as a young mare with her whole life ahead of her, and not to be responsible for starting the day for ponykind across Equestria. Gah, I can't take it anymore! Tis' to tragic..." Arms begins sobbing into his hooves for a few seconds before looking up and smiling. "Pretty romantic don'cha think?"

"I think Mother dropped you on your head when you were a foal." Coat responds sarcastically while humoring his brother with a silent applause.

"I'm jus thinkin' all philosophical like bro. If a princess is a princess an' nopony is around ta' see it is she still a princess?" Arms questions, as he leans over to Coat poking him with his elbow.

"Well.. urm... she would.. um... hmmmm..." Coat stammers to himself while looking up lost in thought.

"See? even Tia' can't be a stick in da' mud twenty-four-seven like you!" Arms replies while playfully smiling at his brother and chuckling to himself.
"In any case, one should be careful how they proceed to address Princess Celestia and whilst keeping such frivolous thoughts merely as thoughts." Coat retorts while taking on a militant posture.

"Whatevers' bro, anyway, we got about 3 minutes before our shift starts. Too be continued..." Arms replies while shrugging his shoulders with his forehooves raised.
The two guards hastily make their way back through the hallway and to the inner foyer. To their surprise, Celestia's private chambers are left unguarded but Coat and Arms never mind the thought and stand on opposing sides of the large doors staring off into the courtyard in a statuesque manner. After a few moments, Arms glances over at his brother and begins whispering out of the side of his mouth.

"pssst! Coat!"
Coat rolls his eyes, and goes back his outward glance before he replies back to Arms.
"Now is not the time Arms, we must remain vigilant as we were taught."
"I know, but you think Tia' knows where ta' get a cup of coffee aroun' here?"
"Of all things to inquire... silence, here she comes!"

Coat and Arms, snap back into their attentive posture as out of their left peripheral, a tall slender figure with flowing, sparkling hair turns the corner trotting slowly in their direction. The subject of their earlier gossip advances towards them as both Coat and Arms bow graciously to their princess as she addresses them with a soft smile.

"Good morning"

"Good morning Princess Celestia" Coat replies as he raises back up to a formal posture puffing his chest out.
"Mornin' Princess, nice weather we're havin' today huh?" Arms replies as he can feel Coat glaring at him with the fury of the sun itself.

"Why yes it is" the Princess replies while winking to Coat, who begins to perspire and blush from embarrassment. The Princess smiles while looking down at her two guards as the morning air carries her beautiful mane and the sunlight envelopes it into a glorious shimmer. The awkward silence is almost too much to bear for Coat as he tries his best to focus on the horizon. Arms has already made eye contact and can't resist smiling.

"Let's see here.." The princess thinks aloud as Coat is fighting thoughts of being banished to the moon because of his brother's insolence.
"...you must be Coat, and that would make you arms, correct?" the princess continues nodding at the two brothers and getting their names right. Coat, is on the verge of having a stroke, as Arms smiles and nods with enough courage to reply.
"Yup, me an' Coat are new recruits. We couln' wait to continue the shield family tradition. Ain't that right bro... bro?" Arms looks over at his brother who has a full out blush on his face. His mane is drenched in sweat and his wings begin to twitch. Arms looks back up at the princess smiling nervously.
"Aw don' worry about em, He gets nervous around anythin' pretty." Arms jests, as Princess Celestia looks away before blushes a bit and letting out a squee.
"Oh Arms, you're Terrible! You remind me of your grandfather Herald! How is he anyway?"
"Granpa' Herald? He's in a retirement home in Cloudsdale." arms replies while tilting his helmet up with his right hoof.
"I'm sorry to hear that.." the princess frowns, looking down to the ground as if playing back fond memories in her head.
"No worries m'am. If you know my ganpa Herald, then you know he's prolly given' them nurses Hades!" Arms laughs to himself soon followed by Princess Celestia. Their laughter continues for a bit until it's broken up by a loud thud and clanging metal. The two look over to see that Coat has finally fainted.
"Oh dear! Is he okay?!" Princess Celestia asks while putting a hoof over her mouth in concern.
"Aww, he'll be ai'ght, I told em' he needs to relax a bit. After some fresh air and cup o' coffee, he'll be as good as new." Arms replies as he begins to fan his brother's face with his wing. "Speaking of which..."
"Right, Take the stairs on the other end of the hallway, and make a right before you get to the ballroom." The princess directs while motioning with her right hoof. "I should've known, you father feinted on his first day too."
"Hah! pops' never told us that part!" Arms laughs has he scoops his brother up and heads down the hallway. Coat slowly begins to regain consciousness.
"Huh? what happened?" Coat asks in a slurred tone.
"You passed out in front of Tia!" Arms chuckles, still holding Coat and gliding down the hall.
"One more thing before you go!" princess Celestia shouts down the hallway stopping Coat and causing him to turn around.
"If I ever catch you calling me Tia' again, you can finish your career of service..."
The princess takes on a more assertive posture staring angrily at the two brothers.
"From the MOOOOON!"
Arms' pupils shrink in fear, as Coat faints again. Princess Celestia turns away, before snapping her head back quickly with a hoof up to her mouth and a playful smile.
"...kidding!"