An Hour Alone with Rarity

by Phil Argus

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Alternate Universe, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Romance
Length: 7323

Rarity pays a visit to Earth to have a unique experience with one very lucky brony.

One very lucky guy takes part in a seemingly harmless Facebook challenge which inadvertently wins him an exclusive visit from arguably the most beautiful pony in Ponyville, who appears to have 'other' things on her mind. Contains human-on-pony, memorable Rarity quotes, and Haddaway. Based somewhat on true events.

Image by White Diamonds Ltd. http://whitediamondsltd.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4udzav

Published 2012-04-08 15:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-08 15:14:01 UTC

Chapter 1

An Hour Alone with Rarity

“The first pony that catches what this alludes to gets an hour alone with me.”

That was what had been written, by the administrator for the Facebook fan page named Rarity. It was posted as a comment under one of the cover images of that fan page, a ponified version of that famous picture of Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo from the film ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’.

Image by hinoraito.

I thought nothing of it when I posted a reply stating the correct answer. More than anything else, I was intending to express my awe. My comment came barely two minutes after the image was posted, and sat itself just beneath the fanpage admin’s ‘challenge’.

That was two days ago. By then I had already forgotten all about it.

It happened while I was on Facebook, hanging out in the local bronies’ FB group page as usual and making small talk in the chatgroup. It was an overcast Saturday afternoon and I had the entire house to myself. A perfectly fine day to immerse myself in ponies and fap to porn if I felt like it. I didn’t though, so I kept my pants on as I alternated between Facebook, ponibooru and Fimfiction.

I found a fanfic I was following which had updated and was about to delve into it when a notification window appeared on the bottom left corner of my FB. I was tagged in a post on the Rarity fanpage.

Puzzling. I couldn’t think of a good reason to be singled out (possibly with a few other names) in a post made by the fanpage administrator. I clicked on the window to find out.

My name was the only one tagged; following it was a brief message.

“Are you at your computer right now?” Said Rarity. I checked below it; the post was made ‘a few seconds ago’ and nobody had liked or commented on it yet.

Very puzzling. The administrator (I instantly assumed him to be a typical 20-something male brony, possibly from the United States, obese, bespectacled and bearded) apparently wanted to discuss something with me.

Why me and no one else, though?

It hit me just then that it could probably have something to do with the comment I posted two days back. It was the one contribution to that fanpage I could think of that made me stand out; The only other thing I had to do with it was Liking it, and doing that only made me part of a featureless Facebook statistic.

That brony probably wants to carry on with the whole ‘hour alone with me’ deal. He might add me as a friend on Facebook and start an RP chat detailing all the things I’d do with Rarity in one hour. Dirty things, naturally. All in the name of harmless, self-satisfying fun.

It was just the kind of fun I wasn’t looking forward to at the moment. When you’ve thought hard enough about the possible kind of person you might be ‘cybering’ with on the other side of the Internet, things suddenly didn’t seem so enjoyable anymore.

I contemplated leaving that message alone for now, but then I felt an itch. An itch in a small corner of my mind. A curious itch, one that threatened to spread all over if I did not scratch it right away. Somehow, something told me I had to know what that administrator wanted. He was online right now apparently, so now was more than ever the best time to find out.

I input my comment, as casually as I could.

“Sup?”

Casual enough. I hit the Enter key with a resounding tap and waited, staring intently at the monitor. I took time to examine the entirety of the Timeline-format fanpage. There were plenty of posts written by the fans, mostly expressing their craven desire for some hot loving from this saucy little mare. Naturally, Rarity hadn’t replied to any of them. I couldn’t help but frown dismally at such a grovelling display. Some bronies can really get out of hand sometimes.

The second notification window came up. Rarity had replied.

“You’re at your computer at home now, yes?”

“That I am.” Be cool, carry yourself well. You’re not just another one of those inferior beings dreaming of doing nasty things with innocent ponies meant for children. At least, that’s not the way you want to appear to other people.

Another question came up, 10 seconds later.

“Are you alone?”

“Yes.”

Rarity’s reply came a lot sooner this time.

“Splendid. I’m ready. I have no time to explain. Please cover your ears and close your eyes.”

I couldn’t understand what ‘Rarity’ meant by that, or what exactly was going to happen. Naturally this was my reply. I took a hit to my ‘Coolness’ stat.

“Huh?”

“Just do it. Now.”

Just then, the itch disappeared, vanishing as mysteriously as it came.

Great. I could stop playing along now. What I thought had potential to be an interesting conversation had turned into nothing more than sheer nonsense. Yet, those string of messages carried with them a ring of ominosity. For a moment fear got the better of me, and I hastily turned off my PC’s monitor and speakers. The first thought that came to mind was that a screamer Flash might be headed my way. I was always wary about those things, having had a bad history with them.

BANG!!!

The sudden, thunderous explosion from behind shot adrenaline into my bloodstream and made me jump off my seat. Bewildered, I clapped my hands against my ears and spun around to stare wide-eyed over my shoulder, and was greeted by a series of blinding violet lights and a frightful crackling which sounded like a sustained bolt of lightning.

I was stunned and couldn’t think straight. I had no recollection of how long I stayed that way. But by the time I found my wits again the lights had disappeared and the crackling had subsided. I found myself cowering in a fetal position below my computer desk, arms wrapped around my head.

An unnatural, triumphant shriek yanked my senses to attention.

“Wahahaa~!”

It sounded so familiar. Where did it come from? Also, who am I?

“How fabulous! The teleportation spell worked!”

Okay, I remember who I am now. And I think I remember how to crawl.

I stumbled out of hiding, getting to my feet and straightening up, and focused my gaze at the source of the voice. It sounded young and female, and spoke in English.

I squinted at my bed as I slowly regained mental cognition. Standing atop it was a white thing with purple hair, a purple tail and four legs.

The white thing turned its white snout in my direction, and fixed me with big, blue eyes. It saw me.

“Oh, there you are darling. Goodness, you look like you’ve received the fright of your life. It must have been that teleportation spell. I am truly sorry about that.”

It took me a moment to realize that the white thing was addressing me and not my computer desk. My brain strained to compose a legible reply in a reasonable amount of time so as to seem as normal as possible.

“Uh.”

Close enough. It bought me enough time to get my act together. My lucidity was somewhat fully restored, and I had a better idea of what had just happened in my room.

Rarity continued to look at me with those large eyes, frowning slightly in what seemed to be concern.

“You should probably take a seat. I am terribly terribly sorry. It’s just the way the spell works.”

The snow-white unicorn with the indigo mane dismounted from my bed and came beside me. Rearing up on her hind legs, she put her front hooves around my waist and began to ease me into my chair. At this position her horn came no higher than my chest.

I let myself be sat down, not once taking my eyes off this strange entity before me. I was stunned at first, but then clarity took over, and now I was sufficiently compos mentis to understand that this scene playing in front of me was plain confusing. It wasn’t scientifically possible; she wasn’t scientifically possible! Yet the touch of her hooves felt so real on my body. I could make out the soft, downy texture of her coat with my eyes. I smelled a fragrant aroma of lavender emanating from her. Was this how all ponies smelled like in Equestria, or did she apply perfume specially for this event?

“How...” I started.

“Magic,” Rarity replied flatly, winking. She knew it; the universal answer for all things and occasions seemingly inconceivable in this world. She must be very familiar with the Internet, then.

I shut my mouth and accepted it for what it was. It was moot to try to make sense of the situation before me. Unicorns clearly knew how to wield magic, according to MLP: FiM. Under that premise and the premise that the universe contains multiple dimensions and Equestria lies in one of them, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to believe that unicorns were able to find themselves on Earth. I left it at that. Now was the time for more pressing clarification.

“So you’re the one behind that ‘Rarity’ fanpage on Facebook?” I asked the little pony standing in front of me, reaching over to my monitor to turn it back on. It occurred to me that I was able to hold a conversation with an otherworldly being in plain English. An infinite convenience; simple communication would have been nigh impossible in any other feasible context.

“Yes,” Rarity confirmed. “Not too long ago it was discovered that the Ponynet had formed a connection to the realm of the Internet in this human-populated world. We’re still trying to discover how that happened, but more importantly, very soon afterwards we found a society of humans existing on the Internet who seemed to know a lot about us. Apparently some human had created a story called ‘My Little Pony’ which correlated very closely to Equestria, and had gained a large cult following among other humans everywhere on this world.

“At least, that’s what Twilight would have wanted me to explain to you,” she added, staring intently at an upturned hoof like a lady checking her nails. “I don’t really understand it myself, nor do I care much for it.” She pouted nonchalantly as she said that, and I couldn’t help but notice how much cuter it looked in real life.

“Twilight Sparkle?” Hearing another familiar name was positive confirmation that this Rarity had indeed come from Equestria.

“She was the one who formulated the teleportation spell to travel to this world. Already she’s made several visits to various bronies here, doing research. She’s told us so many interesting things about your world and people, but this is the first time I’m seeing it for myself.” Rarity gave me a quick once-over like a curator surveying a museum display piece, possibly analyzing the quality of my human being-ness. She appeared satisfied at her appraisal, though I personally wouldn’t vouch for that. There were many things about myself I wasn’t pleased with.

“You ‘bronies’ certainly seem to be quite an interesting bunch,” Rarity said, smiling at my computer screen. The Facebook post I was tagged in had already received two Likes. Do those two people even know what mind-blowing event is going on here?

“Young adults, mostly male, and possessing quite a fair bit of sex drive,” she cooed playfully. “One that transcends similar-species attraction.”

I flushed embarrassedly. She was definitely referring to the lurid comments on the fanpage. I hadn’t the heart to explain that such behaviour was generally shunned at by majority of human society. Rarity had probably misunderstood it to be as natural as stallions getting on heat.

I suddenly felt a weight pressing down on my thighs. Looking down, I realized that Rarity was leaning her forelegs against my lap. She rested her head on her right hoof, and stared back up at me coyly, a sly grin playing around her lips.

“Which was why I wrote that comment on my image. I was choosing an intelligent young brony with a good taste in movies to pay a very special visit to.” She put emphasis on the word ‘special’, much more than was necessary.

“Well, you lucky man,” the unicorn whispered alluringly. “Are you ready to claim your prize?”

There was so much startlement today it was getting annoying. Now I had to struggle to accept that I was indeed going to spend an hour alone with none other than my best pony of all years every year, with a 120% possibility of sex.

It’s not like I was averse to that idea; I do think Rarity as a cartoon character was sexy and hell, mostly thanks to Tabitha St. Germain and her godlike talent lending a posh, svelte transatlantic accent that effortlessly charmed the socks off me every single time. And right now this very voice was speaking to me from less than a foot away, lustfully beckoning me to bring my sex on.

Rarity’s current position put her in uncomfortably close proximity to my groin. Already I was feeling the blood rush to my penis in response to Rarity uttering those seductive words with that seductive voice. It was supposed to feel wrong on every context, yet it seemed to happen so naturally. No point praying she wouldn’t see it. It’s exactly what she’s looking for.

“D-don’t you think you’re being a little too forthcoming with this?” I asked nervously. Rarity drew backwards, confused.

“Whatever is the matter? Isn’t this what you’ve been expecting when you answered my question correctly? Was I not being suggestive enough when I said ‘an hour alone with me’?”

“Well, yes, but I really had no idea it was going to turn out this way; that you were actually going to come here and spend an hour alone with me.” I took a deep breath and delivered the clincher. “I didn’t even think you actually existed in real life.”

Rarity blanched for a moment and lowered her gaze to the floor.

She spoke to her hooves after a while. “Twilight did mention how everypony she visited-”

“Everybody,” I corrected without thinking.

“-Every body she visited in this world was initially shocked when they saw her. I suppose it isn’t that hard to understand when magic and teleportation isn’t a common occurrence here. But all of them became gradually receptive, even excited at her arrival afterwards.”

She turned her head up to look at me again. “I meant for this to be a pleasant surprise for you, but you certainly don’t seem to be taking it very well. I suppose I messed up and came on too strong.”

The unhappy look on her face tugged fiercely at my heartstrings. Now was no longer the time to be thinking of scientific possibilities.

“It’s not that, Rarity,” I said. “I am very surprised, and even honoured that you would take the time to come all the way here to see me. I was just confused at why you would suddenly decide to offer yourself up to a human being like that, when all I did was answer a simple question.” I hesitated a bit before continuing. “I understand you’re a youthful mare with a healthy sex drive, but aren’t there plenty of fine stallions in Equestria who could satisfy your needs? I imagine it wouldn’t be too hard for a pretty pony like you to look for one.”

The fashionista pony seemed to cheer up a bit at my praise.

“Thank you for the compliment, darling. Yes, I am of course easily capable of charming any stallion I want. In fact I do believe I’m able to charm just about any living thing who can understand the words I am saying,” she added with a knowing look. “ It’s just that I’ve been reading all the comments made by the bronies on my fan page, and it got me feeling a little... Experimental.”

She inched closer to me again. Shyness seemed to be giving way to seduction once more. “I was curious about how it would feel like to get bucked by a smart, handsome, two-legged human with hands,” she whispered. “And looking at you, I wouldn’t be surprised if you hadn’t thought likewise.”

She got me good. The vulgar language coupled with that sultry voice made me doubly turned on. I admit I wasn’t exactly the most innocent brony on the block. I have on more than one occasion savoured the thought of bedding such a charming personality as Rarity. I was just open-minded that way.

My chubby was coming up again. My mind had stopped considering logic and reason and was instead urging me to go forth and grab this golden opportunity. I adored her, and she appeared to like me. This was indeed my wildest dream come true. As a wise man once said, sex is good. Doesn’t matter what kind of sex it is, I added to myself. Rarity should consider herself lucky that she had chosen me to be part of this unique encounter.

Right there, a brilliant, if not partially humorous idea lit up in my head. I raised my right hand towards her and caressed her face. She seemed to enjoy its gentle touch.

“Alright, Rarity. I shall accede to your request. But I only ask that you do me a few small favours in return.”

“Of course, darling,” she replied gladly. “Whatever do you need?”

I bent downwards and wrapped my arms around her torso, lifting her up and setting her down on my lap, facing me. Her head was level with mine. Her hind legs straddled over my thighs, spread wide, and in between I could make out an enticing shape of pink.

I cradled Rarity’s body close to mine, and felt her do the same. Her body was enchantingly warm, her pristine white coat plush and downy against my cheek, neck and arms. Softly, I whispered my request into her ear.

It was a couple of things I wanted her to play along with to enhance the experience. She listened and nodded her head in agreement, bemused but obliging.

“Well, if that’s what you want. I’m not sure how much better it’ll make you feel but I don’t mind it.”

“Trust me, it will.”

Satisfied, I began planting small kisses on her neck and shoulders, causing her to moan cutely. She started to nuzzle me back, nibbling and licking on my ear. My pants were feeling increasingly uncomfortable, and I was developing an urge to rip them right off there and then.

She suddenly moved to press her lips passionately against mine. They felt supple and tasted mildly minty. Her breath was light and fresh. I closed my eyes and focused on its soft touch. It didn’t feel unnatural in any way; it was almost as though her lips were made for mine. The euphoria of kissing the very object of my desire splashed around my brain. Her foreleg curled around the back of my neck pushed in harder as I tightened my hug.

I felt her push my lips apart with her own, and her tongue snake past to enter. I instantly fought back with my own. We battled fiercely for a while, savouring each other’s tastes, before I relented and let her through. I felt her tongue sweeping every crevasse in my mouth, exploring its alienness and acquainting herself with it.

At this point I grew bold and sneaky. I withdrew my right hand from around her waist and took a trip down under. Rarity gasped audibly into my mouth as she felt my fingers stroking up her slit unexpectedly. She certainly wasn’t ready for it. I took the opportunity for revenge and forced my tongue deep into her mouth. At every attempt to fend me off I would run my fingers against her moist pussy, paralyzing her with pleasure and backing her down.

We carried on in this fashion, our kissing becoming more and more torrid. My right hand was picking up the pace and generously rubbing her sensitive, cushy sex, transitioning into furious, rapid penetration. She was getting wetter by the second; her whining became louder and more aroused, and her hips were grinding themselves against my hand. It wasn’t too long after when Rarity threw her head back to cry out in sheer pleasure, pulling away a trail of saliva as our tongues disengaged.

“Oh, oh, oh darling MAMA’S COMING!” she wailed as she reached her climax. I cheered silently to myself; she remembered my request! Hearing her proclaim those words in this context was something I had dreamt of for a very long time.

Her hole squeezed tight, and a fresh serving of pony juice dribbled down my fingers and into my hand, pooling a small amount in my palm. Strangely enough, the first thought that entered my head at that time was the fact that I wasn’t feeling any pain from fingers digging into my back (a feeling I had come to associate with the vociferation of an orgasm), until I remembered that I was doing a pony with hooves. My intense fingering gradually slowed down as her ecstasy indulgently reached its end, and I softly extracted my sopping digits from her pink.

“So, how was your first experience with hands?” I asked saucily. Rarity collapsed her head on my left shoulder, nuzzling her cheek against my neck.

“Simply divine,” she uttered.

“Can hooves do that?” I felt her lazily move her head from side to side in reply.

“No stallion has been able to pleasure me so quickly and easily by using his hooves before.” I felt her warm tongue flick against my ear. “You certainly didn’t waste any time at all. I like that.” She breathed the last three words sultrily into my ear canal.

I puffed my chest out in pride. It wasn’t every day I would receive a compliment for my skills in creating orgasms, let alone from a sexy pony with an accent to die for. I tightened my embrace in gratitude.

Remembering my wet fingers, I gingerly brought them into my mouth for a sample. Her raw taste was tantalizing and addictive. It was then that I noticed the growing puddle on the thighs of my pants.

“So much nectar,” I remarked, gazing downwards at Rarity’s fleshy, oozing twat. “Time to dine.”

Still cradling the unicorn pony in my arms, I got to my feet and made my way to my bed. She wasn’t too heavy, weighing roughly 30 to 40 kilograms. I eased her down belly-up and swiftly removed my shirt and shorts, leaving nothing on but a pair of dark blue boxers doing a terrible job at hiding a boner. Rarity had little time to giggle excitedly before I crawled over her on all fours and began planting small kisses on her lips, face, neck and chest, trailing my way down her soft white belly and towards her nethers. My hands ran along the lengths of her body, all over her legs, torso and abdomen. She responded positively to all of this, letting out stimulated moans and eagerly spreading herself apart.

Eventually I made my way to the foot of my bed, kneeling so that my body was in between and close to her rear legs. I took the time to massage her inner thighs and loins with my lips and fingers, before setting eyes on the main course. Her moist, swollen pussy was in full view for partaking. I admired every fold and detail of this erotic sight, eating it all up visually. A trickle of cum was running below her crevasse, almost making its way to her cute, tiny sphincter beneath her long, curly tail. I decided to start from there, lapping up the pussy milk trail and dragging my tongue upwards. I caught a deep whiff of Rarity as I did so; her rich musk mixed with her lavender perfume threatened to overpower me.

Rarity reacted immediately as my tongue ran the length of her labia, thrusting her hips out and kissing my lips with those of her pussy. I felt her clitoris rub up against my nose.

“Gently, please...” I heard her plead. It heartened me to see that she was doing her best to comply with all of my requests, and the way she said it was similar to the way she did in ‘Over a Barrel’, which turned me on greatly. It gave me the motivation I needed to give her due satisfaction.

Reasonably gently, I paid her lip and tongue service, probing her depths with generous licking, occasionally surfacing to give special attention to her little button. With my right index and middle fingers I framed her vag open as I worked. Pony juice continued to pour out of her crack, which I drank greedily. It was my liquor, its taste intoxicating me and adding to the conspired assault on my senses by her scent.

Rarity’s moaning increased in frequency and pitch as I ate harder and harder into her. She had wrapped both hind legs around my neck and was pressing my head down with her forehooves, ever urging me on. I stopped using my tongue to brush her nub to focus more on frenching her pink, passing that role over to my nose. Few people have heard of using their noses in cunnilingus but I happened to have a special affinity for it. I skillfully rubbed the tip of my nose up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, and it seemed to please Rarity to no end.

“Please, darling...” she begged, her voice trembling. “Put it in... now...”

I felt her folds open up invitingly, desperate for cock. Holding some of her ambrosia in my mouth, I disengaged my tongue from her pussy and crawled upwards to position myself over her on all fours. We locked lips again and I made sure that she had a good taste of herself, emptying the contents of my mouth into hers.

Meanwhile, my left hand had reached over to my boxers and unbuttoned them in front, finally letting my painfully erect dog out to breathe fresh air and escape from the straining confines of clothing. I guided it with my hand towards Rarity’s pussy and began to tease her with its tip, dragging it up and down her slit. It was slick and ready for a pounding any time.

She broke the kiss abruptly to stare down curiously at my appendage. I swore for a brief moment I saw a flash of disappointment pass over her face, before she quickly hid her expression. Can’t be helped, I suppose. I knew equine anatomy well enough to understand that what Rarity had was a long sheath naturally made to accommodate a long sword, and my penis was certainly no four foot-long trunk which could spurt like a fire hose, let alone a reasonable girth compared to most stallion ponies in Equestria, as I would imagine.

“A little too small for your standards?” I enquired, emphatically remorseful. Rarity smiled apologetically.

“Oh no, darling, it’s lovely just the way it is,” she said soothingly, embarrassed. “I... I guess I'm being too presumptuous in my expectations.”

“Nah, I understand. You haven’t experienced anything outside of stallions before, so I wouldn’t expect you to think otherwise,” I reasoned. Rarity appeared grateful for my prehension.

“To be fair, it was mostly due to your marvelous foreplay,” she complimented, eager to cheer me up. “You are by far the most skilled sex partner I’ve ever had.”

Naturally. There’s a reason we human beings have something called the Karma Sutra whereas the only thing normal horses could do was take it up from behind. Receiving this generous flattery from my favourite pony was all it took to set my heart aflutter. I was instantly energized and determined to put on a good show.

“Well then, allow me to make up for size with my enthusiasm.”

I lined up and pushed in slowly. Her hole squeezed itself to suck me in, pulling my cock past its warm, moist and plush walls. The feeling was heavenly, and I struggled to hold back my energy lest I get excited too quickly. I groaned blissfully as my shaft sank home, all the way to my balls.

“Oooohhh...” Rarity shared my sentiments, fastening all her legs around me and snuggling tight. I moved my hips, building up momentum and getting up a steady rhythm. I could feel a slight resistance around my cock, and worked to ease the pressure away.

My strategy was to play Haddaway’s ‘What is Love’ in my head. It was one of the best songs to have sex to in my opinion because I felt its BPM suitable to thrust my pelvis along to, at a comfortable pace not too slow as to be boring, yet not too fast as to be tiring. I found it strange at first that I was deliberately refraining from singing that song aloud, until I remembered the one time I accidentally blurted out the chorus when I was doing it with my ex, to unintended comedic effect. So amused was she that every time we had sex afterwards she would insist on me singing that song aloud (or playing it on my computer) and would sometimes even take on the backing vocals. Imagine the both of us doing it doggy-style on the bed, going, “whooawhooawhooaooa, whooaooa, ooh ah!” along to the music. The fun had been doubled.

So there I lay, on my elbows and knees, cradling Rarity in my arms and ramming her to the beat of ‘What is Love’, carrying on in this fashion for a good few minutes. She panted and moaned with each lunge, meeting them on every return with hip thrusts of her own. My testes slapped into her hood and labia. The tension enveloping my dick was gradually fading away as Rarity got wetter and looser by the second from my vigorous rutting.

She started to pick up the pace after a while, hammering her crotch more rapidly upwards to me. I had no choice but to drop my graceful rhythm and follow suit. Pressure began to build as I became more and more overwhelmed by the sheer speed.

“Gonna... Cum...” I grunted in between strokes. I had to let her know that I was going to take my bareback out before I go over the edge. I certainly was not ready to father a centaur. But Rarity would not have any of that. She duly replied by accelerating further, using her hind legs hooked over me as leverage. We kissed again, tongues blazing.

Soon, I felt her lose all resistance, her cunt reduced to a hot, slopping mess which I gamely pounded, shortening my strokes and quickening my rhythm.

“Uuhh... Uhh... Uuhh...” It was coming, I could feel it.

“Keep going... Keep going...” Rarity pleaded in between moans.

The wavefront arrived at last, and it was too much to bear. I stopped fighting the current and allowed myself to get pulled under. Intense surges of pure bliss swept over my brain as I spewed my copious seed into her vagina. My hot semen filled up her chasm and overflowed from its entrance, and we both partook in its warmth. Still connected and gripping her tightly in my arms, I collapsed on my side.

She released the liplock and gazed fondly into my eyes, happy that she was able to return the favour despite the fact that she didn’t get off herself. I stared back with renewed fascination at her attractiveness. I took what little solace there was in the fact that our love child, if heavens forbid would be conceived, would definitely have some great genes to inherit.

“Just to make sure, are you on heat?” I asked. Rarity rolled her head from side to side in response, a coy, reassuring smile on her face.

Relieved, I resumed my aesthetic appreciation, combing my fingers through her elegantly coiffed mane. I was touched that she had taken the time to doll up in preparation for this visit. Maybe it was just the way she presented herself all the time, but thinking it that way wasn’t as fun, no?

“Round two?” Rarity proposed expectantly. I turned my head to check my clock; barely twenty minutes had passed since she had teleported into my room. There was still plenty of time.

“Why not?” I replied. I had suddenly thought of yet another a smashing idea as I was appraising her mane. “Let’s have a change of location.”

“Too cool!”

Rarity let out an audible sigh as the cyan glow on her horn faded, and a hardcover book floating in the air engulfed in the same aura broke free of its magical fetters and landed on the floor with a thump. I clapped my hands enthusiastically. Seeing unicorn magic happen in real life was truly an experience of a lifetime. It was just like the way they portrayed it in the show, but with an added touch of realism I simply couldn’t describe.

The snow white pony frowned at me in response. “All I’ve been doing was lifting objects with my magic. That was the twentieth time.”

“Yeah, but it’s because-”

“I know that, darling,” she cut me off. “What I mean is, surely you’re not already fully spent after just two sessions?”

Indeed, it had been only two sessions. After round one on my bed I took Rarity to my bathroom where we did it again in the shower stall. I had her in the missionary, pinned against the bathroom wall and supporting her from the rump with my hands. Thank heavens for non-slip mats. Her mane was damp from the water and fell straight downwards past her shoulders, which was my intention all along. I had always wanted to do a wet-maned Rarity. We helped each other wash up afterwards, taking turns to scrub each other’s backs and dry one another off with towels.

Presently we were back in my room, refreshed from the shower and mostly dried up. I had specially requested for Rarity not to wrap her mane in a towel to dry and leave it to air, which she generously complied. Her indigo hair came down from all sides, long enough to brush against the floor. Her fringe parted on either side of her horn, with a small lick of hair hanging in between her eyes, creating a unique, alluring look to her which I deeply enjoyed. I let her wear one of my t-shirts to complete the after-sex look, a plain white one with no design which naturally was too big for her. Her bare flank peeked temptingly from underneath the hem.

“It’s not about my being spent or anything,” I replied. “And don’t call me Shirley.”

I got up from my seat and knelt to hold the little pony in my arms. I carefully lifted her up and brought her back to my computer chair with me, setting her down on my left thigh.

“It’s just that you’re an esteemed guest here in my household- no, here in my world, and I think there are so many other interesting things we can do together or share with each other besides exchanging bodily fluids.”

My right hand reached out to grab my mouse, and I began trawling the web. The unicorn pony looked at me confusedly.

“And here I was thinking that all you bronies can think about is ‘clopping’ to us ponies.” I reckoned that Rarity must have been all too familiar with the more perverted side of the fandom on the Internet to have an understanding of the word ‘clop’ and to have that kind of impression on us. I had to set the record straight.

“You seem to have the wrong impression of us bronies, Rarity,” I said with mock disappointment. “Only a small part of us think that way. The majority of us are content with discussing clean content, and we try to keep things civil and be as family-friendly as possible. Sex isn’t the one single thing on our minds all the time.”

“What does that make you, then?” she riposted playfully. “You claim to be part of the majority, yet you were so enthusiastic with having sex with me.”

“I wasn’t enthusiastic,” I protested. “Well, I was trying not to show it, at least. You’re my favourite pony for more than one reason, you know. There was no way I could resist all that flirting. And I’m a pretty open-minded guy who’s willing to try new things.”

Rarity waited for me to continue.

“You could say I make it a point to uphold a good impression, but I am always aware of where my desires lie. What we did earlier was just me doing my best to satisfy the curiosity of one very hot pony while having a little fun at the same time.” I gave her a meaningful look, preparing to drop the punchline. “There will always be people on either extreme of the spectrum, but still, some of us do have standards.”

I quoted her directly, imitating the way she said it with good memory. Being able to exchange Rarity quotes with none other than Rarity was the best fun ever. She apparently got the reference and giggled.

“You are such a charmer, you are,” she cajoled, nuzzling me tenderly. “I love that about you.”

We spent the next few moments discussing about MLP: FiM. Rarity was already acquianted with Equestria Daily, which wasn’t too strange considering it was the brony capital of the Internet. I shared some of my favourite brony music and PMVs with her. I let her browse my Pictures folder which contained clean MLP fanart. We checked out a number of pony tumblrs together (I took care to steer clear of lilmissrarity and sadisticrarity and other content-related blogs for good reason). I opened up a few Kyrospawn videos showcasing her best moments, especially her whining in ‘A Dog and Pony Show’ which she made an impressive display of re-enacting. She asserted that all of the snippets I had shown her had indeed happened to her at a particular point of time, a very intriguing assertion. I even managed to extract information about the Royal Wedding from her (which she gave more than willingly), spoiling myself first-hand before anybody else.

It struck me that there was something regarding her character I had wanted to make clear for the longest time. I opened up a piece of fanfiction, a work of art I loved so much I had saved it in PDF form in my documents, and explained to her what it was. Rarity had never read a fanfic before, and asked that I read it aloud to her, so I did.

Rarity was visibly saddened as I read off the closing line. As you can imagine, the story was an incredibly sorrowful one with a bittersweet ending, and had to do with Rarity’s history, albeit a fanmade one. Having read it numerous times before, the effect had numbed on me, but the white unicorn who was hearing it for the first time clung onto me tightly, tears streaming from her eyes and falling onto my chest. I caressed her head and back comfortingly, offering as much warmth and solace as I could.

“Simply beautiful,” Rarity commented shakily after a while. “That was so heartfelt and touching.”

“Rarity...” I began cautiously. “... How much of this is true?”

“It isn’t,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes with a hoof. “I was born in Ponyville, not Canterlot. Sweetie Belle is in fact my real sister. But I do keep a diary.” She continued after a brief pause. “I still do today. It’s just that I have never seen things from a perspective like this before. That was spectacular storytelling. It has made me appreciate my friends and family even more. I feel like going up to mommy and daddy and Sweetie Belle right now to tell them how much I love them and give them the biggest hugs ever. I really must share it with everypony when I go back.

She lifted her head upwards, and made eye contact with her shimmering, limpid pools. “Thank you for sharing that with me. A lover of fiery passion, a gentlecol- gentleman of fine etiquette, and a patron of the arts; You truly are the most interesting man I have ever encountered in my life.” Rarity gave me an affectionate peck on the cheek.

“It’s my pleasure,” I said honestly. I was able to guiltlessly shed away some false headcanon with that clarification, which was good. “And I’m glad you think of me that way. You have no idea what that means to me.” We cuddled for a while.

I suddenly took notice of my clock.

“Does that mean we’ll be seeing each other again soon?” I asked her quickly.

“Of course, darling,” her reply was immediate and to the point. “Any time you like. Just let me know on Facebook so that I can make the necessary arrangements to my schedule. My tailoring services are in such high demand these days that I barely have enough quality time to spend for myself.”

“Is once a week fine?” My family’s timetables were such that I always had the house to myself every Saturday, just like today.

“Once a week would be lovely.” Rarity raised her head from my chest to face me. “Why do you ask this all of a sudden, anyway?”

I cocked my head to my clock. “Because it’s been long past an hour.”

Rarity turned to glance at the timepiece for a brief second before looking back to me, grinning saucily.

“Do you have any idea how long an hour in Equestria lasts in this world?” She asked, feigning innocence. I answered in the negative.

“Exactly,” she whispered, moving forward to kiss me again.

~~~

Thank you so much for reading this story. It’s my very first complete, honest attempt at writing a proper piece of fanfiction. Somehow it ended up being a clopfic with dollops of apparent self-gratification. It was not initially intended to be a self-insert; it was honestly based off this post right here.

About the Rarity quotes and the ‘What is Love’ part? I bet you were feeling pretty turned off, cringing, or even tickled, huh? I meant to do that. I wasn’t aiming for a serious clopfic here so I took the pleasure of inserting some boner-killing humour/awkwardness. I am so sorry if you and/or your penis were offended.

It's a story that seems to be rushing itself in and jumping all over the place, I don't doubt that. I didn't want to overcomplicate things by scrutinizing every single detail, and I'm still not very skilled with pacing dialogue, I admit that. In fact, going through the script again, it just seemed so unnatural to me, not the way two people would hold a normal conversation.

I didn't have any specific plot written in for the parts that came after sex; those were really just things I thought about in the shower one day. I remembered that I had always wanted to make a shoutout to my favourite fanfic somewhere, so why not here? I tried to squeeze that in as best I could, odd as it may be. I don't think a sequel for this story will ever be in the works.

If you don't know which fanfic I'm talking about, you should firstly be very ashamed of yourself, and secondly go check this story out.

Phil Argus