Looking at the Scars

by Karrakaz

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2106

An evening stroll through the gardens can be a real eye-opener.

Celestia likes her evening walks. Luna doesn't.

During one particular night of stargazing, she is going to find out why.

Enjoy.

Published 2014-06-18 01:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-18 01:00:02 UTC

Memories in the sky

Celestia always loved taking a stroll through the gardens of the castle at the end of her day. She treasured stopping to smell the roses and carnations, and enjoyed bringing the sunset about from some place quiet and relaxing, away from the constant bustle she was surrounded by. And yet, despite the reason for her decision, she did not stop talking, especially now that she had somepony to share it with. Though her voice was melodic and calm as always, her talk about the experiences the day had brought her were like a tidal wave that never stopped coming.

She expressed her awe over a humble peddler who had waited in line for hours, for no other reason than to present her with a most lavish gift, and without asking for anything in return.

She praised the class of young foals that had visited her during afternoon lunch, all of whom were bright and eager, and how each of them had had a thousand questions for her.

And throughout the big highlights of her day, she talked nonstop about how wonderful it was to be able to interact with ponies young and old, fleeting though the experiences may be.

Luna did not share her love of the evening.

For Luna, the evening was merely the start of a new workday and all the problems that entailed. She couldn’t for the life of her understand how her sister could find such joy in the routine and the ordinary. For her, things were what they were, and though she experienced her own form of happiness at times, she did not expect any to visit her while she did her due diligence.

“How do you do it, sister?” she asked, breaking her silence for the first time since they had entered the gardens.

Celestia, who had been in the middle of a story about a particularly funny clown, slowly closed her mouth. “Do what, little sister?” she asked, smiling that serene-though-joyous smile that so infuriated Luna.

“That,” Luna growled. “How is it possible that your day is always so much more crowded and interesting than my night? You always have something to laugh or be impressed about, though we both know that most ponies cannot find their own backsides without a map!” Her wings flapped in agitation, doing their best to give some emphasis to her words. They returned to her sides when Luna growled again before letting out a sigh.

Celestia looked at her for a moment before shrugging, which felt all the more like an attempt to infuriate Luna even further because of that knowing smile. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, little sister."

Rather than becoming more angry like she expected herself to, Luna merely felt sad. “Why is it you won’t tell me? You know more than you let on, you always do, but you never deign to tell me anything.” Her ears drooped and her wings soon followed as they continued their walk. At least Celestia had stopped recounting every second of her day.

It wasn’t until they reached the fountain in the center that Celestia spoke up again. “Luna?” she asked wistfully. “How many stars are there in your night’s sky?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Luna said with a humph.

Her retort was childish and she knew it. Celestia, however, merely laughed and said. “Touché.” They lapsed into silence again.

Luna could not make her thoughts come to a halt. They kept tumbling around in her head, colliding with one another before being replaced by ever more confusing ones.

“Why do you think I wouldn’t believe you?” her sister asked her.

“Because you could never coun—” The words were out of Luna’s mouth before she remembered who she was talking to, and she shut her mouth, letting the rest of her sentence drift away unspoken.

“If I could not, why wouldn’t you tell me?” Celestia hadn’t stopped looking at the stars, but her infuriating smile had gone missing somewhere along the way.

For some reason, as soon as it was gone, Luna missed it.

“Because I could say any number and you would have to take my word for it,” she replied, looking up. Trying to spot what her sister was looking for was an ungainly task, but she hoped it was the brightest star in the sky that Celestia was looking at. She hoped, because it was the only one she had been able to make when she came back.

That one evening right after celebrating Nightmare Night in Ponyville.

“And you think I do not trust you?” Celestia asked. The words stung. They weren’t the truth, or at least, Luna did not want them to be, but Celestia had never been one to resort to insults or petty accusations. No, it was worse because her sister wielded the truth as a weapon. The most unbreakable of weapons which only Celestia seemed to be able to shape to her will.

“Do you? Trust me?” The words tasted bitter in her mouth. No matter what they were talking about, and no matter how much she wanted to avoid certain subjects they ended up talking about them anyhow. Celestia could prance circles about her in any conversation and drive her in the very direction she did not want to go in; a difference in social skill that had only become more prevalent since her absence.

“Implicitly.”

“Then why won’t you tell me your secret?”

Celestia started laughing, and the way she laughed infuriated Luna. She had half a mind to tackle her sister and get into a fight simply so she would stop laughing; At least, until she listened more closely. Though her sister was supposed to be expressing joy, there was something deeply sad about the way she laughed. Unlike the ones earlier in the evening, it was without spirit. Without that selfsame joy that had irritated her.

Earlier that evening, she thought that wiping that annoying grin from Celestia’s face would have made her happy, or at least content, but she hadn’t even noticed when it left. Worse, it had taken her joyful sister with it, leaving only a mare laughing while...

Luna did a doubletake. Celestia had raised her majestic wings while she laughed, and they had partially blocked off her face from where Luna was sitting. Like with all the knowledge that evening, she only obtained it after looking again, more closely.

Celestia was crying.

Luna scrambled from her seat and tackled Celestia with a hug. The force sent the both of them sprawling over a hedge and through the base of a statue, all of which only barely registered to her.

“‘Tia. Celestia! Sister! What is wrong?” Keeping worry from creeping into her voice was a lost cause so she didn’t bother, focusing all her attention on her sister who was no longer laughing.

“I miss you.”

“What is... ‘Tia, I’m right here!” Things were looking worse by the minute, especially if her sister was starting to hallucinate. She pressed her forehead against Celestia’s. “I’m right here.”

Celestia swallowed a few times and wrapped her forelegs around Luna’s neck while her wings did the same to her back. “I know. I know... It is just...”

Luna let herself be held for the moment. “It’s just what, sister?” she asked softly. Celestia let go, and Luna let her get up before doing so herself, worry returning full force when the first thing her sister did was return her gaze to the sky. “Just what?” she asked again.

“You wanted to know my secret?” Celestia asked her hoarsely.

It did not seem all that important in the face of her sister’s sadness. Even so, Luna nodded mutely.

“The secret is that there is no secret.”

Just like that, the anger returned. Luna wanted to shout in her sister’s face and tell her to stop being such a... she couldn’t even think of a proper term. Which was just as well, because Celestia turned her gaze from her younger sister’s sky towards Luna herself.

“The secret is that the day is often no less boring than the night.”

With anger as her constant companion, though no longer at the reigns, Luna narrowed her eyes cautiously. “So then how do you make it seem so much more interesting than it is? Or rather... why?”

Celestia shrugged again. The smile was returning, although its effect was no longer infuriating. Rather, with Celestia’s eyes all puffy and her fur matted, the whole was rather pitiful. “I think it is because I drowned myself in the mundane when you... when you...” She swallowed again. “Left.”

“But I am back now! You no longer have to worry about such things.”

Celestia chuckled. “Yes, you are my sister, but you lost who you once were. And I’ve lost you.” When she looked up again, Luna followed her gaze and found that she was indeed looking at the brightest star.

“Solaria,” she breathed. “I named it after yours, you know?”

“If you tell a pony there are 300 billion stars in the universe, they will believe you. But if you tell them a bench has recently been painted over, they will touch it to make sure.”

Luna blinked and looked sideways, though her sister hadn’t moved. “What?”

Celestia’s wings twitched but betrayed little about how her sister was feeling. “Nothing.”

“Tell me what you mean.” Luna stepped closer, almost stumbling on a piece of the statue.

Two cherise eyes looked into her own, peering, searching for something she wasn’t sure she possessed.“If you tell a pony something they think they will never be able to measure, they will believe you, but they won’t try.”

The battle between worry and confusion was won in that instant. Confusion was the clear winner and Luna went along with her feelings. “So?”

For the first time that evening, Celestia looked at her seriously. No smile, no frown, or anything in between. “I want you to do something for me.”

“What?”

Luna believed she knew how ants felt. Celestia’s gaze made her feel small. insignificant. It pierced through every physical layer she possessed and quite a few metaphysical ones as well. In contrast, her voice was as soft and melodic as ever. “Promise me you’ll do it first.”

“Do I have...” Luna squirmed until the intense stare finally conceding after a minute more. “Ugh! Fine... fine. I promise.”

The two pools of cherise finally blinked and Celestia’s smile returned. “Try to see the fun in things again.”

“I don’t see how that would be very—”

“And tomorrow come sunrise, tell me everything that happened during the night.”

“That doesn’t sound very pro—”

“You promised.”

Luna nodded, trying out the smile that Celestia always wore in public. She couldn’t remember ever having smiled like that, and it sat on her face like an uncomfortable mask. The shift in perspective was even more of a challenge, but she had promised she would give it a try, and she would do so to the best of her abilities.

“Who knows, you might even find yourself eventually.” Just like that Celestia was all smiles again, planting a kiss on her forehead close to her horn before beginning her trek back to the castle, leaving Luna behind to figure out what just happened. “Goodnight, little sister.”

“Goodnight,” she called back absentmindedly, focusing on how she thought Celestia must have felt while calling on her power. She found something within herself, something she hadn’t felt for the longest time, but she couldn’t complete the spell without something to tie this important memory to. After briefly scanning her surroundings, she decided that the broken statue would do wonderfully. The broken pieces floated up to eye level before being pressed into a ball smaller than a needle’s head and combusting into a brilliant flame.

With a sweep of her horn she sent the tiny ball of fire hurtling skywards where it grew as it traveled. It took nearly an hour of uninterrupted casting—a far cry from the rate at which she had created them before—but finally it landed next to its elder sibling; a dark blue star next to the brightest one.

The smile no longer felt fake or uncomfortable. It felt fitting. She had another memory to treasure.

Author's Note

Another short one written during breaks.

As in, I try to take a break from writing and then end up writing anyway.

Hope you all enjoyed it.

After several comments on the subject I went back and made a few changes, hopefully it reads a little better now.