The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

by Wanderer D

Rating: everyone
Tags: Silver Spoon, Changelings, Queen Chrysalis, Adventure, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 31125

Chrysalis' daughters are serving their community service in Ponyville. Nothing can go wrong.

A story of The Three Sisters Universe

Families are like fudge — mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~ Unknown Author

Chrysalis' daughters are serving their community service in Ponyville. Nothing can go wrong. Right?

Unless they all have their own agenda, and surprises keep piling up, complicating matters further. But anything to broker peace between the Changeling Nation and Equestria... right?

Art by the incomparable Conicer!

Now with a TV Tropes page! Warning: Will Contain spoilers.

Published 2014-06-18 01:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2024-01-27 23:48:09 UTC

New Developments

The Three Sisters: Families are like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were in the middle of loading the barrels onto the catapult they had built behind the school when they noticed their despised nemesis and her crony approaching.

“Hey Blank Flanks!” Diamond Tiara called, sneering in contempt and bumping Silver Spoon for support. “What do you think you’re doing? Something stupid, I bet!”

“Yeah!” Silver Spoon added. “What is it?”

Sweetie blinked, looking at Diamond Tiara straight in the eye. “We’re almost done throwing the ‘Cutie-Mark-Remover Potion’ that Zecora taught us about into Ponyville’s water supply.”

Diamond Tiara opened and closed her mouth silently for a few moments before choking out, “Say what?”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo added, leaning against a barrel and rolling her hoof in explanation. “We tested it this morning at school and it worked just fine!”

Diamond Tiara glared at them. “That’s not true!”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Then why doesn’t Silver Spoon here have a Cutie Mark anymore?”

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon glanced at the latter’s blank flank.

“Aaaah!” Silver Spoon gasped. “M-my cutie mark! It’s gone!”

Diamond Tiara stepped away from her, eyes wide and body trembling. “S-silver! Y-you’re a b-blan—”

“Don’t say it!” Silver Spoon hollered, holding her head in her hooves and falling down on the floor spasming. “I-I can feel myself changing! Save me!” She extended a pleading hoof to Diamond Tiara, who stepped away once more, her expression of horror growing more intense by the second.

“S-stay away!”

“Please! Diamond!”

“Stay away!” Diamond Tiara shouted again at her collapsed friend before turning around and galloping off. “I have to tell my daddy! We must find a cure!”

Silver Spoon slowly lowered her hoof. “B-but Diamond! What will I do without you?!”

A giggle escaped Apple Bloom’s mouth. It was followed by another before she broke out laughing, joined immediately by Sweetie, Scootaloo and Silver Spoon.

“That was awesome!” Scootaloo managed to gasp between laughs.

Silver Spoon stood up and dusted herself. “Thank you, thank you!”

“Ah have to tell you, Thysa,” Apple Bloom chuckled. “You got Silver Spoon’s whining just perfect! Ah almost thought you were her! If she didn’t hate us so much Ah might’ve even felt bad.”

“Speaking of which,” Scootaloo said hurriedly, “Here she comes!”

“Quickly! Turn into Diamond Tiara!” Sweetie urged. “Tell her we’re all friends now! I want to see her face!”

‘Silver Spoon’ was suddenly engulfed in green flames, and when they faded, a perfect replica of Diamond Tiara stood in her place.

“Tiara?!” Silver Spoon’s voice reached them. “Where are you?” the voice grew closer, and soon they could hear her hooves on the soft ground as she rounded the school house.

She stopped in front of the four fillies in front of them, apparently surprised at seeing Diamond Tiara helping Scootaloo load a catapult. “Um. What’s going on?”

Diamond Tiara sighed and walked up to Silver Spoon, solemnly placing a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Silver Spoon. I have decided that the blank fl— I mean, the Crusaders are not our enemies anymore. In fact, I think they should be our best friends!”

Silver Spoon’s mouth slowly opened as she stared at Diamond Tiara in shock.

Scootaloo started sniggering, but was interrupted by an elbow from an equally amused Apple Bloom, while it was all Sweetie could do to not fall back laughing.

“R-really?”

Diamond Tiara nodded.

“Are you sure, Tiara?”

Diamond Tiara nodded again.

Silver Spoon closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “YES!”

“Say what?!” Apple Bloom cried, falling to the floor in shock.

“Oh, Diamond Tiara!” Silver Spoon giggled. “This is amazing! Thank you! I’ve been so afraid to ask you to lay off that I haven’t said anything but I’m so glad we’re done bullying them!”

She visibly relaxed, sitting on the floor and sighing in contentment. “I’m so glad that’s over.”

Diamond Tiara blinked. “Wait, are you a changeling?”

Silver Spoon raised an eyebrow. “What? No! Why would you ask that?”

The Crusaders and ‘Diamond Tiara’ looked at each other, silently trying to figure out what to do before Sweetie took a hesitant step forward. “Um… there’s something you should know…”

Sitting on an intricately designed garden chair on the balcony of her chambers, Celestia sipped a little bit of tea.

“So, explain to me this again, Twilight,” Princess Celestia said. “You’re saying that Changelings aren’t simply emotion-eaters?”

Twilight nodded. “They have a certain amount of empathic absorbance that, with the right motivation, can change their entire disposition. Take for example how Queen Chrysalis became increasingly less threatening and more of a prankster when exposed to Sweetie Belle for several hours. And from what Rarity tells me, when her older sister and herself were around, Chrysalis also had a much better disposition, if still influenced by the cruelty of their mother.”

Celestia pondered her student’s words. “So the best option is to maintain a steady, friendly relationship with the changelings to ensure they don’t become cruel again.”

“Please, sister,” Luna spoke up, rolling her eyes. “You know that Hidden Tale has changed ever since he came to your service. It’s obvious it’s been your influence, more than your orders.”

Celestia grimaced. “Fine, but after what happened, I’m not sure how your brother and sister-in-law will take it.”

Twilight nodded. “That is true, that’s why I want to take Acari with me to the Crystal Empire to make amends and to have Cadance meet a changeling that she’ll like.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure Chrysalis will agree to that?”

Twilight nodded. “Acari and the others are still doing community service.” She looked out from the balcony at the distant town of Ponyville. “I think there’s a lot our species can do for each other, and with Rarity and Sweetie Belle helping Chrysalis, we can have a long-lasting peace.”

Celestia thought in silence about her student’s suggestion, before slowly nodding. “I see. I agree that peace is much preferable to another fight. Do as you must, Twilight. But be sure to write to Cadance about your visit.”

“I will, Princess!” Twilight grinned. “I can’t wait!” Her smile faded. “I uh, just remembered something else.”

“Oh?” Celestia blinked. “And what would that be?”

Hidden Tale looked down at the scroll he had received.

His eye twitched and he took a calming breath—just like Celestia had taught him—before reading it again, just to make sure.

Dear [REDACTED],

You are to go to the Town of Ponyville and report to Princess Purity (aka Rarity) in order to get to meet your daughters and get to know them better.

Phasmi has expressed a lot of interest in meeting you, and with the impending alliance of the Changeling Nation and Equestria, it would do wonders for us if you were in good standing with your family.

This is an order, [REDACTED].

~Princess Celestia

P.S. Twilight is right, this whole Redacted thing might have been overdoing on my part.

Hidden Tale groaned and slammed his face on his desk, sending several papers sprawling.

“Captain?” A sophisticated male voice called from outside. “Is everything okay?”

Hidden Tale shook his head, but sat back before sighing. “Come in.”

The door opened, letting the unicorn into his Captain’s office. “I heard a bump and—”

“It’s okay,” Hidden Tale waved a hoof. “I’ve just received new orders and I’m not too pleased about them.”

“Are we to mobilize?” The stallion asked immediately.

“Quell your enthusiasm, Blueblood,” Hidden Tale sighed. “It’s a solo mission.”

“Oh,” the Prince deflated.

“It shouldn’t take long,” Hidden Tale said, standing up. “And you still have your mission with the Gryphon Empire’s delegation.”

Blueblood rolled his eyes. “I should be done soon.”

“Well then,” Hidden Tale was engulfed in green flames, before he emerged as a simple, brown-coated earth pony. “I’ll be expecting your report by the time you come back, Lieutenant.”

Blueblood stood at attention and saluted. “Will do, sir!”

Hidden Tale nodded before stepping out of his office.

“And now… to meet the kids.”

o.0.o End Chapter 1 o.0.o

Author's Note

You know the drill guys, first draft, no edits/editors on this one! And welcome back to the Three Sisters Universe!

Attention-Seeking

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 2: Attention-Seeking

The changeling builders paused in their work to turn and bow respectfully as Rarity and Chrysalis strolled past them.

Their work consisted on digging more tunnels and reinforcing them, since Chrysalis had stated that…

“...next time you all come here, you’ll have rooms more suited for ponies, and also more space, so we don’t have to cram you all into a single room.”

Rarity nodded, smiling politely at the workers and trying to fight the urge to preen at their attention. But who was she kidding? She loved it.

“And if you don’t stop grinning at all the cowtowing they’ll think you’re a diva,” Chrysalis added, giving her a pointed look.

Rarity giggled. “I’m sorry, sister, but their adoration is intoxicating!”

“Welcome to being a queen.” Chrysalis grinned and motioned with her head for Rarity to follow her to the council chambers. “How did you ever survive not being one? I know for a fact that you were always hunting for attention.”

Rarity grimaced. “Well, yes, dear. But the thing is, as you well know, Queen Changelings require a bit more than… how can should we call it… ‘simple’ love?” She pouted. “That’s not the right word… there’s nothing simple about Sweetie’s or my parent’s or my friend’s love but—”

Chrysalis raised her hoof. “Say no more, I understand.” She took a deep breath as they reached the chambers, and let Rarity go inside first before going in and closing the doors behind them. “And that’s one of the reasons I asked you to stay a bit longer. You didn’t get the talk from mother.”

“Oh,” Rarity blushed, the chitin on her cheeks flushing blue. “I— well, my parents explained to me abo—”

“Not that talk!” Chrysalis snapped. “Seriously, the things that run through your mind at times.”

Rarity blinked. “But that’s what we call it in Pon—”

“This is the hive, so drop the pre-conceptions and stop derailing the subject, this is important.”

Rarity huffed and looked away.

Chrysalis took a deep breath. “Sis. Even in your unicorn form, you should have been taller. Just look at your dad, he’s huge. Genetics should have gotten you about as tall as whatshermane… Fleur, or close to it.”

Rarity tilted her head, curious. “But that doesn’t make much sense. I’m in my changeling body. Wouldn’t that have worked if my consciousness had been merged in my pony body?”

“What Cocoon did was not that simple,” Chrysalis explained. “She had to take more than just your souls and merge them — there’s no way for her to simply ‘poof’ and heal your bodies. She had to take elements from both to produce a single, strong one or you would have been too weak to survive, much less climb out of that hole.”

Rarity slowly sat down on one of the several chairs in the chamber, her eyes never left her sister, however.

Seeing that she had her attention, Chrysalis continued. “While you had a good pony diet, and love from your sister and parents, queens need a lot more to truly grow. We are designed to need more. Your attention-craving comes not only from your need to succeed as a clothes designer, but also because it grants you the adulation and unconditional love of the masses. To be recognized and fawned upon — it’s not just your drive for success, it’s your needs as a queen.”

Rarity stared at her sister. “But… I never felt fed when that happened and—”

“It’s not feeding!” Chrysalis leaned in to look at her in the eye. “It’s energy. Remember how you feel whenever someone admires your work? Do you still do that thing where you prance like crazy in the same spot?”

Rarity looked down and mumbled something.

Chrysalis grinned. “You still do, don’t you?”

“W-well, I still don’t see why this is important!” Rarity growled, looking up at Chrysalis. “I clearly get enough love from my friends and family so—”

“You’ll starve unless you suddenly become an international success,” Chrysalis said. “Love will fill you up, but it won’t give you a steady force to live with. You would continue on, being loved, being happy, but without that energy you crave on a physical level, you would slowly wither and die.”

Rarity gulped.

Chrysalis’ eyes warmed up. “Not immediately, but you won’t live past two hundred as you are, Purity.” She gave her a half-smile. “I just got my sister back, I don’t want to lose her because mom insisted on revealing these secrets to the only survivor of her challenges.”

Rarity chuckled. “Well… I guess I now know why I’m so desperate for attention. I always thought it was just a character flaw that I needed to iron out.”

Chrysalis smiled. “Nah, it’s still a character flaw you need to iron out. Now you just know which iron to use.”

Phasmi cringed as Fluttershy applied more salve to her withers before beginning to dress her tight enough to be slightly uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry this happened, Phasmi,” Fluttershy said kindly. “I’m sure mister bear was just having a bad day and he’s never going to do this again,’ she added, a threatening look crossing her face and making the bear in question cringe guiltily.

“I-it’s okay,” Phasmi hissed. “I’m sure he thought you were in danger an—”

“That’s still no reason to simply attack you.” Fluttershy interrupted, securing the bandages. “There, it should heal soon,” she said, turning to look at the bear again. “But I am still very disappointed in you, mister bear!”

The bear growled apologettically, lowering his head in shame, until Fluttershy patted his head. “Please don’t do that again, Mr. Bear,” she asked, smiling at him. “I know you didn’t mean to attack my friend, but we were lucky this time that it wasn’t worse.”

The bear nodded, still a bit distraught and muffled a huffed, apology-sounding snort at Phasmi, who couldn’t help herself but recoil a little, before nodding slowly. “I forgive you…”

Fluttershy’s smile almost lit the room. “That’s so wonderful! See, mister bear? You’re forgiven. Make sure to treat her kindness with your own in the future, okay?”

The bear nodded and shuffled out of Fluttershy’s cottage, closing the door behind him. It was a matter of seconds before a muffled shout from outside made changeling and pony exchange surprised glances.

The door to Fluttershy’s cottage flew open, and a cream-colored pony slammed it shut behind her, breathing hard and glaring at Fluttershy from under a bright orange mane. “Fluttershy! That bear of yours scared the hay out of me!”

“O-oh, my… I’m sorry, Carrot Top, you know mister bear is—”

Carrot Top had already dropped to all fours and was taking a deep breath. “It’s okay, Fluttershy, I know he’s harmless, I jus—oh, and who’s this?”

Fluttershy’s eyes went wide and she turned around to explain the changeling in her house, only to find a young earth pony mare with a green coat and a deeper green mane smiling pleasantly at Carrot Top. “Um… this is, I mean… uh…”

“Ghost Leaf!” Phasmi quickly said, smiling at Carrot Top. “I’m Fluttershy’s new assistant.”

“Oh, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” Carrot Top said, smiling back. She frowned when she noticed the bandages around Phasmi’s withers. “What happened to you?”

Fluttershy and Phasmi looked at each other.

“It’s noth—” ‘Ghost Leaf’ began to say, but Fluttershy’s hoof stopped her.

“Mr. Bear accidentally hurt her,” Fluttershy confessed to the surprise of Phasmi. “He didn’t know her and thought she was dangerous.” She looked down. “But he apologized!”

“That’s too much, Fluttershy!” Carrot Top said in horror, closing up to examine Phasmi’s injury slightly touching the changeling’s foreleg with her hoof before looking over at Fluttershy. “I know you won’t get hurt by any animal, but the rest of us—”

“It’s alright,” Phasmi interrupted, placing a placating hoof on Carrot Top’s shoulder. “It wasn’t his fault entirely, I thought I knew what I was doing and he felt provoked, he wouldn’t have harmed me otherwise.”

“Oh, you poor dear!” Carrot Top chuckled. “And you still want to work here? Fluttershy has a gift that not many ponies do.”

Phasmi’s smile did not fade. “I have a lot to learn, but I love working with animals.”

Carrot Top chuckled, and put down the saddle-bags she was carrying. “Well, I wish you the best of luck, Ghost Leaf! I usually bring some carrots and vegetables to Fluttershy since she’s such a great help with keeping the little critters under control,” she said turning her smile to Fluttershy before leaning in a bit to stage whisper, “You couldn’t have asked for a better teacher!”

Fluttershy blushed and shrank a little mumbling something, while Carrot Top chuckled. “I guess this is it for now, Fluttershy, I’ll come back in a week.” She walked to the door and looked over her shoulder at Phasmi. “So I guess I’ll be seeing you around, Ghost Leaf?”

Phasmi nodded. “I look forward to it!”

“Great!” Carrot Top giggled before walking out of the cottage.

“Phasmi,” Fluttershy spoke up.

“Yes?”

“You’re blushing.”

Phasmi, aka Ghost Leaf, gave Fluttershy a knowing grin. “She likes me.”

Fluttershy blinked. “Well, of course she does, she’s a very nice pony and makes a lot of friends… well, except when she’s competing on sales with Applejack, she can be less… nice… then.”

Phasmi shook her head. “No, I mean she likes me, likes me.” She winked at Fluttershy. “I can tell.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Oh.” She blinked then her eyes widened. “Oh.”

The door opened a bit and Carrot Top poked her head in. “Um, Ghost Leaf, would you like to go to lunch with me sometime?”

Fluttershy meeped, blushing red when Phasmi nodded enthusiastically.

“Great! I’ll get back to you with a date! See you soon!”

The door closed and Phasmi beamed a smile at Fluttershy. “See?”

o.0.o End Chapter 2 o.0.o

Author's Note

I guess I'll just post this one more time and ask that you guys remember that I'm publishing all chapters as First-Drafts, so I haven't gone back to edit the chapter, nor have I asked my team to look at them... corrections and suggestions on the comments are accepted, though!

~WD

In retrospect...

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 3: In retrospect...

It was a very bewildered, silent and contemplative Silver Spoon that walked back home through the busy streets of Ponyville. It was a completely different situation than earlier, when the Crusader’s confession about the identity of the ‘Diamond Tiara’ with them had thrown her into a fit of hysterical scrambling for the nearest guard.

Finally she stopped for a moment, staring at nothing before deciding to search for a bench and sit down. She observed the ponies passing her by and thought back on the discussion she’d had earlier with the crusaders.

o.0.o FLASHBACK o.0.o

“This is really difficult to explain, but… since you sorta confessed that you really didn’t mean us any harm…” Sweetie Belle said, looking a bit uncomfortable.

Silver Spoon blinked in confusion, looking from her to Diamond Tiara, who looked at the floor uncharacteristically guiltily and back to Sweetie. “W-what do you mean?”

“First of all, Ah have to ask…” Apple Bloom spoke up just when it seemed Sweetie Belle had mustered the strength to speak again. “Just how long have y’all wanted to be our friend?”

“W-well.” Silver Spoon looked uneasily at Diamond Tiara, relaxing slightly when the latter simply tilted her head in confusion. “It was ever since we started school together,” she confessed.

“All that time!?” Scootaloo gasped, then frowned. “But why didn’t you talk to us? All you did was side with Diamond Tiara!”

Silver Spoon cringed. “I’m sorry! I wanted to, but when I tried to talk to you, you almost ran me over with your scooter! A-and you crushed my lunch! And then you told me not to get in the way… so when Diamond Tiara stepped in and picked on you immediately after I-I was angry!”

‘Diamond Tiara’, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom turned to look at Scootaloo—who had a look of horror in her face—in shock.

“You did what?!” Sweetie Belle asked. “Scootaloo!”

“I-I don’t remember! My first day I was trying to impress the other pegasi and then I—” She cut herself short and stared at Silver Spoon. “I thought you jumped in to mess my show,” she finished in a much lower voice, ears leaning back against her head. “And then Diamond Tiara started calling me names and you joined her.”

The two fillies looked at each other in horror before Scootaloo frowned and looked away. After a moment, Silver Spoon gulped. “I’m sor—”

“No.” Scootaloo looked back at Silver Spoon. “I should have watched where I was going and I shouldn’t have just assumed you were doing it on purpose.”

Silver Spoon felt tears well up in her eyes. “All this time… I wanted to know why you did that… every time after that you were a nice filly but I thought you had hated me… when we bullied you I hated it.” She looked away from the Crusaders. “I wanted to apologize for every time we made you feel bad, and for every time any of you cried.”

“I don’t cry,” Scootaloo muttered, wiping away at her eyes.

“It became just safe… the more I did it, the more I wanted to apologize but I knew there was nothing I could say except ‘sorry’ and somehow that didn’t seem to cut it.” She chuckled. “It’s sad, but…” her face lit up and she looked at the Crusaders. “At least now Diamond Tiara managed to become your friend, right? So we can begin anew!”

She paused then looked at Diamond Tiara. “Say… how did you manage to convince them to be our friends?”

All the other ponies suddenly seemed uncomfortable.

“Uh… you see,” Sweetie began. “That’s where it gets complicated. She didn’t.”

Silver Spoon’s eyes widened and she looked at Diamond Tiara in horror. “W-was this a test of fidelity?! Tiara please, don’t punish me!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Apple Bloom jumped over to stand by Silver Spoon, putting a calming hoof on her shoulder. “There’s no punishin’ goin’ to happen here, alright?”

“B-but!”

“That’s not Diamond Tiara,” Sweetie finally said. “It’s our friend, Princess Thysa.”

Silver Spoon looked at the others in confusion. “But… there’s no pony Princess named ‘Thysa’. And why would she look exactly like Diamond Tiara?”

“Well…” ‘Diamond Tiara’ said after a moment. “That’s because I’m not a pony.”

Silver Spoon blinked. “Say what?”

“I’m…” the pony was enveloped in flames and suddenly, a chitin-armored pony-like creature stood before her. “I’m a changeling princess! Nice to meet you!”

o.0.o END FLASHBACK o.0.o

Silver Spoon sighed. The fight had been brief and after she had been pinned to the ground and assured she wouldn’t be eaten alive (eww), it had taken a moment for her to realize just exactly what this meant.

She couldn’t go back to who she was before.

And she had effectively lost her only current friend because she had taken a practical joke at face value.

Silver Spoon buried her face in her hooves. “Stupid.”

Arachne, aka Dark Mocha, the unicorn, stared at Bon Bon in a silence that lasted almost three heart-beats.

Bon Bon counted.

“What do you mean I can’t eat all the chocolate?!”

“It means exactly what it sounds like,” Bon Bon said slowly. “As in, you can’t eat the chocolate. It’s not exactly advanced quantum-magika theory.”

“Knave! How dare you speak to a Queen like that!”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes, while behind her, Lyra giggled at the bewildered expressions of their patrons.

“Pinkie Pie taught you well,” Bon Bon said after a moment. “But only I can truly finish your training as a chocolatier!” She bumped her forehead against Arachne’s. “And that means you don’t get to eat the chocolate!”

“But it’s so good!”

“I know,” Bon Bon said, stepping back and nodding as ‘Dark Mocha’ huffed and started mixing the ingredients again with ease. “But this is something that you have to learn: you get to eat chocolate, when you have money to buy it.”

“But Queens don’t have to do this kind of thing! We learn stuff and we get free stuff!”

“Welcome to the real world.” Bon Bon grinned.

Behind Lyra a pony looked at the scene in confusion. “So… what’s she the queen of?” he finally asked Lyra.

The unicorn smiled, casting a snide look at the princess. “The Queen of whinning! What else?”

The pony looked on as Dark Mocha whined at Bon Bon while slowly dumping white chocolate into the mix. “I see. Well, she does make really good fudge brownies!”

“I’m telling on you! I’m gonna tell my mom!”

Lyra grinned.

“She already knows!” Bon Bon replied. “Now, add more vanilla extract!”

“Yep,” Lyra nodded. “That, she does.”

o.0.o End Chapter 3 o.0.o

Author's Note

Writing time: 1 hour.

Cupid

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge
By Wanderer D
Chapter 4: Cupid…

Acari hummed to herself as she put the books she had borrowed back in their proper places in the library. As she did so, she contemplated the changes her life had gone through in the last few weeks. Currently, she was in the form of an Earth Pony with a black and white mane and a very light gray coat, sporting a little spiral with sparks as her cutie mark.

So far, doing Social Service in Ponyville had been very relaxing. There were no attempts to go on perilous trips in search of increasingly random items to prove their mettle. And no incentives to make her own plans ahead of time to compete with Arachne or Phasmi… and Thysa had friends her own age, as well as crush on young Spike.

She did look adorable as a dragon, that little changeling. And it wasn’t hard to see that Spike liked her too, even if he wasn’t really that invested in a possible relationship.

She sighed. Her aunt, Rarity, was still the object of his adoration, even if it was wobbling lately, now that he had found someone that not only could be his own species or a pony, if she wanted to, but also was willing to return his affections.

Dragons made fine husbands, or so she had heard.

She pondered that for a moment, before shrugging and putting the last book in. The political history of Equestria was a very interesting theme to study. Despite their affable nature, Ponies were a pretty conceited species, due to their dominating the elements, magic, and the fact that their leaders quite literally controlled when the sun set all over the world.

It spoke very highly of Celestia and Luna that they had not abused this power beyond making ponykind the dominant species, and had even refrained themselves from raining destruction on enemy nations whenever war had come about… several hundred years before… and even after several victories, ponies would provide their defeated foes with aid, and allow them to reconstruct their kingdoms as they saw fit.

It was almost like it was a sport for them.

Acari stopped her train of thought and shivered. That did not bode well for anyone if it were the case, but she had not seen much recently to prove her hypothesis. Beyond that… she liked it here in Ponyville and she wasn’t going to let her paranoia interfere with her having a good time.

The bell next to the door chose that moment to jingle and an earth pony with tan coat and red and pink mane and tale walked in, carrying several books in her saddlebags. “Abstract Copy!” Roseluck smiled when she saw her. “These books by Rosoideae Supremus you found for me here were amazing! Why he’s the veritable Starswirl of Earth Ponies!”

“I’m glad you liked them!” Acari, a.k.a. Abstract Copy, said, smiling as she took them back. "His work is so underrated you wouldn’t believe! I’m surprised that Twilight didn’t mention them to you!”

Roseluck chuckled. “Twilight might have,” she said, watching Acari stamp her library card and put the books in a pile next to her. “But she also suggested about seventeen other authors. To be honest I was quite overwhelmed.”

Acari smiled. “I’m sure she must have, she knows every book in here intimately. I find that Rosoideae is the inspiration for most other experts.”

Roseluck raised an eyebrow. “Most?”

Acari grinned. “I knew you’d catch that.” She walked over to the bookshelf and after looking around for a bit, pulled out another book, half the size of any of the books Roseluck had borrowed before. “This was written by Alchemilla Song, a very interesting book that theorizes how sound affects the growth of roses, something which Rosoideae never even considered.”

Roseluck’s went wide and she practically ripped the book from Acari’s hoof. “Really?! That’s amazing! I never thought of that!”

“I take it you’ll be borrowing it?” Acari asked innocently while holding up a stamp and smiling.

“You know I will!” Roseluck laughed, letting the changeling stamp the card. “You know, I’m so glad that Twilight got another assistant. I love Spike, but he never got too interested in literature that was not adventure, science fiction or comic books… so whenever I needed recommendations, he would turn to Twilight who would pull out twenty copies for me.”

Acari chuckled. “Spike is an amazing dragon. He might not have recommendations off the bat, but he knows so much it’s always very interesting to quiz him on random trivia.”

“Did somepony mention my name?” Spike asked, slowly making his way down the stairs.

“Check this out,” Acari whispered. “Spike, I am discussing the Bregier period with Roseluck…” noticing Roseluck’s confused look, she waved a hoof, motioning for her to keep quiet. “I’m telling her that Grand Ferris was responsible for the first wave of attacks, but she insists that it was actually General Assistant Fire Emblem who set the villages aflame.”

Spike yawned. “Nah, it was Admiral Truffle Sauce of the thirteenth naval fleet of the Minotaur Empire. You’re confusing the time-period with the rise of the Burgess, in which case you would be right and Grand Ferris would have been the first to draw blood.”

They watched him blink owlishly, scratch the spot just above his tail and then head into the kitchen.

Acari turned to smile at Roseluck. “I just finished reading about that. Grand Ferris is mentioned only in a two paragraphs long aside in a five-volume set of wars about international policies.”

Roseluck opened and closed her mouth silently before finally shaking her head. “T-that dragon’s a genius.”

Acari shrugged. “He’s definitely smarter than some give him credit for, especially for his young age.”

Roseluck looked towards the kitchen. “He does act more mature than I would have expected.”

Acari nodded. “He is… he’s been exposed to the greatest minds in Equestria since he was born. He is very well read, has excellent memory and wisdom beyond his years. When he grows up he’s going to be a force to be reckoned with. I just hope he finds the right partner who is sympathetic to ponykind unlike most other dragons.”

Roseluck laughed weakly. “W-well he has his eyes on miss Rarity.”

Acari sighed. “Auntie Rarity would definitely be sympathetic, but I don’t know if she would be the best match. Spike still needs a lot of emotional growing to do, and she’s not necessarily interested in him.”

Roseluck shook her head. “Well, I have to go, but I’m sure he will find a good partner, Rarity or not.”

Acari smiled, nodding at her as Roseluck walked out. “He will. Maybe one that’s already nearby.” Her gaze turned towards the kitchen. “We just need to point him in the right direction.”

Her muttering were interrupted by a loud burp from the kitchen. Soon, Spike walked out, holding a scroll. “For you, from Twilight. She wants you to meet her at the train station in an hour. And she said to pack. You’re going with her to the Crystal Empire.”

“Sis!” Acari shouted, galloping into Bon Bon’s confectionary.

“What?” Arachne growled, not stopping to look up as she slowly placed decorations on a cake twice her size. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“I’m going to the Crystal Empire!”

“Bring me some of those little heart-snowglobes. The ones with the flying Princess Cadance thingies floating inside.”

“That’s not important! I have a mission!”

“Is it to interfere with my cake-detailing? Because you’re doing an amazing job right now. Truly fantastic. Exemplary. Amazing. Simply annoying.”

Acari rolled her eyes. “No… I am talking about…” she leaned in. “The future of a hive,” she whispered.

Arachne’s head snapped up and her horn sent the little groom-pony figurine she had placed on the cake flying through the air and out an open window. “What?!”

“Yes, we must ensure that a future well-to-do, extremely important individual is aligned to our cause and Equestria’s, therefore solidifying our future as allies.”

Arachne’s eyes narrowed. “And why, pray tell would I want that?”

“Chocolate.”

“I’m listening.”

o.0.o End Chapter 4 o.0.o

What you think you know

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

What you think you know

By Wanderer D

Thysa, in her disguise as a young pegasus, approached the bench where Silver Spoon sat, watching morosely as ponies passed by.

The filly in question did not react to her presence, looking rather lost in thought; her eyebrows twitching from time to time as her thoughts continued in a presumably dark path.

Finally, Thysa couldn’t wait anymore to ask. “Hey, Silver Spoon. Why did you lie to Sweetie Belle and the others?”

That snapped said filly out of her thoughts. She stared at Thysa as if she had grown another head; it was the exact same panicked and morbidly fascinated face Sweetie Belle had made when Thysa had grown another head.

Silver Spoon’s face, however pretty quickly settled on panicked. “W-what do you mean?”

Thysa tilted her head. “You know, about bullying them?”

“I did not!” Silver Spoon hissed, looking around. “I told you what happened!”

Thysa nodded. “Yep! You did! But you didn’t say that you also enjoyed bullying them.”

Silver Spoon jumped off the bench and started walking away. Thysa didn’t even miss a beat before she started following her.

“Come on,” Thysa insisted, flying until she had caught up with Silver Spoon, who didn’t look at her. “Those in power taunt the weak, it used to be like that for centuries in changeling tradition.” Her smile disappeared. “Of course that ended up with a rebellion and most of the court murdered in cold blood by ‘the weak’, but good things came out of it too!”

When they were away from most other ponies, Silver Spoon whirled around. “Why are you following me, changeling? Don’t you get that I am already getting over it? I’m glad the cat’s out of the bag, I don’t have to be mean to them anymore.”

Thysa blinked. “But you don’t want to stop. I can tell. You like taunting and making fun of others, and you like that Diamond Tiara will do it with you.”

Silver Spoon gritted her teeth. “You want me to admit to Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom that I genuinely insulted them? That I made fun of their misery? Or that I felt good about it? I hated it!”

“And you loved it,” Thysa said, shrugging. “I was there plenty of times. I could taste it.”

“It doesn’t make it right! I’m not a bad pony!”

Thysa turned to look at the passing clouds for a moment before looking back at Silver Spoon. “What does feeling happy about making ponies sad or unhappy make you then?”

Silver Spoon looked away and sat down on the floor. “It makes me a horrible pony.” She looked at Thysa. “I can’t help it! Every time I teased them I hated it, but I also felt so good being… being superior!” She stood up and started pacing around Thysa. “If Diamond Tiara were to appear right now next to them and started teasing them, I would join her. I know it’s bad, and wrong and that I shouldn’t, but I’d want to!”

“Then why don’t you change?”

Silver Spoon snorted. “Ponies don’t change just like that. You cannot simply decide that you don’t like something you always have. You can force yourself away from it, but it’s still going to be something you know you’ll enjoy if you do it again!”

Thysa nodded. “But, now that they are your friends, hasn’t that changed? You wouldn’t tease Diamond Tiara because she’s your friend, right?”

Silver Spoon’s eyes lowered.

“You would.” Thysa sighed.

“Tell them that I’m not their friend,” Silver Spoon said, turning around and walking away. “That my apology means nothing.”

“But it did,” Thysa spoke up as the other filly walked away, making her stop in her tracks. “You really regretted that you couldn’t be friends, and when you told them the story, you genuinely wished things could have been different.”

Silver Spoon’s shoulders sagged as she spoke in just a whisper…

“It’s just… wishful thinking.”

“It’s just wishful thinking,” Spike sighed, holding a picture of Rarity up and carefully placing it next to his bed. He yawned and stretched, being able to stay in bed a little later—okay, much later—thanks to Acari moving in as a library assistant-trainee under his immediate supervision.

He heard the bell below announce the arrival of somepony to the library, and soon the familiar voice of Roseluck drifted up to him. She was already talking to Acari about something. Probably plants.

He heard his name once, and his interest was piqued. Slowly, he slid out of bed and pressed his ear against the door.

“Spike is an amazing dragon,” Acari’s voice, making him blush and push against the door trying to hear more, but this had the added effect of pushing the door open and him being clearly visible to both, the pony and the changeling.

“Um… did somepony mention my name?” he asked, pretending to not have been eavesdropping and slowly making his way down.

He saw Acari whisper something to Rose, and then turn to face him. He felt an imminent yawn approaching. How could anyone be sleepy after sleeping? It didn’t make sense! He struggled to keep it in.

“Spike, I am discussing the Bregier period with Roseluck…” Acari said, motioning with her hoof at Roseluck. “I’m telling her that Grand Ferris was responsible for the first wave of attacks, but she insists that it was actually General Assistant Fire Emblem who set the villages aflame.”

Spike lost the battle and yawned, his mind barely registering the question and yet reminding him of so many nights going over factoids like this with Twilight. “Nah,” He waved his claw dismissively. “It was Admiral Truffle Sauce of the thirteenth naval fleet of the Minotaur Empire. You’re confusing the time-period with the rise of the Burgess, in which case you would be right and Grand Ferris would have been the first to draw blood.”

Ugh, I’m so hungry. He thought, scratching an itch as he made his way to the kitchen. I wonder if Twilight left any rubies?

He rummaged about, occassionally pausing to listen to what the two ponies outside were saying. Am I really that smart? Or important? he wondered. And then a horrible thing occurred to him.

Eyes wide, he went and listened to the pair talking.

“Well, I have to go, but I’m sure he will find a good partner, Rarity or not.” He heard Roseluck say followed by her hooves on the wood. He thought the conversation over, but then heard Acari speak up.

“He will. Maybe one that’s already nearby,” she whispered almost wistfully.

Oh, no.

“We just need to point him in the right direction.”

Oh, ponyfeathers! It was clear as day, now! Acari had a crush on him!

“W-what do I do?” He whispered. Then he felt the pressure in his chest as a flaming message was sent through the magical fire Celestia had given him.

With a loud burp, the scroll fell to the floor and he picked it up, scanning its contents quickly before going out and handing it to Acari, without meeting her eyes. “For you, from Twilight,” He explained briefly, while she gazed at it. “She wants you to meet her at the train station in an hour. And she said to pack. You’re going with her to the Crystal Empire.

Acari’s head snapped up and she gave him a very intense look.

Spike’s face grew red. “W-what?”

Acari shook her head. “Nothing! Nothing. I need to, uh… run. Organize things. Make sure I have everything I need!”

And then she galloped out of the library, clearly agitated.

Spike groaned and smacked his head against the side of a bookshelf. “Dammit, Spike! Why do you have to be so ruggedly handsome?! What are you supposed to do now?!”

o.0.o End Chapter 5 o.0.o

Meanwhile, in the Crystal Empire...

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 6: Meanwhile, in the Crystal Empire...

Shining Armor was reviewing the third of several stacks of paperwork that had piled up on him since he had decided to take on retraining the Crystal Empire troops in modern warfare.

He had immediately studied their records and history—trying to figure out what type of soldiers and experience he had at his disposal—with an acumen that would have made Twilight proud.

It was not an easy process, since the Empire’s understanding of the powers of different kingdoms was… well, outdated implied it had been correct at some point, but he kept finding evidence that Sombra had severely undermined the capabilities of just about everyone else… he might have been powerful but even with his magic, a full battalion of gryphons descending on his head while minotaurs charged at their gates and Zebras infiltrated the city and planted magical explosives… it wouldn’t have been pretty.

It was a good thing they were at peace, even a shaky one at times, rather than at war. Not every unicorn was as powerful as his sister, Cadance, or Luna or Celestia and while he could cast impressive shields, they wouldn’t last long against a constant barrage of physical and magical attacks.

No. The Crystal Empire wasn’t ready for modern wars, and even worse; they had a history of warring with Changelings, with their last big war before the whole city had disappeared a thousand years ago, had started when they had welcomed one who had apparently pretended to be an envoy of peace.

It was lucky the Crystal Ponies had fixated on Spike as the hero of the battle, allowing them to scrutinize Rarity a lot less than they otherwise would have.

It might have been a thousand years for the rest of the world, but for the Crystal Ponies it was a few months ago that they had rid themselves of the last changeling, just before their mad king had caused their downfall.

Rarity was a good pony. Changeling. Ponyling? But he had been secretly glad when she had left. There was much to do with the crystal ponies before they were ready to understand that not all changelings were evil.

A soft knock on the door to his office dragged him away from his thoughts and made him look up. There, standing in all her beauty, was Cadance, the love of his life.

And she looked a bit worried.

“Is everything alright, love?” Shining asked, slowly standing up and rolling his shoulders to loosen up his stiff muscles.

Cadance took a deep breath. “Twilight Sparkle sent me a letter. She’s planning to visit us in the next couple of days.”

Shining smiled. “Twili’s visiting! That’s awesome!” He paused, noticing that Cadance was not sharing his enthusiasm. “Not… awesome?”

“She’s… not coming alone.”

Oh.

“You mean her friends are coming?” He asked with a nervous chuckle. “I’m sure Rarity will be careful not to—”

“She’s not coming, Shining…”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“She’s bringing one of Chrysalis’ daughters with her,” Cadance said, shaking her head. “She thinks that we need to have peace with the changelings and that it’s the first step to understanding each other.”

Shining Armor blinked. “Well, I don’t know where Twily met her but, peace is preferable to war and—”

“She’s the daughter of Chrysalis, Shining!” Cadance hissed. “That monster that captured me and threw me into the crystal caverns under Canterlot! To this day I cannot be surrounded by crystal and not panic!”

Shining looked around them at the crystal room, then back to his wife. “Oh! So that’s why you have that unusually intense look when you talk to ponies! You’re ignoring the surroundings!”

“Shining…” Cadance growled. “I don’t want any changelings here, even if they’re doing community service!”

Shining Armor looked at Cadance straight in the eyes. “Wait. Community service? I feel like I’m missing something here.”

Cadance sighed, and levitated a thick scroll for him to read. “Better catch up. Apparently Chrysalis’ daughters abducted Twilight an—”

“What!?” Shining was on his hooves, ready for battle. “Those cads! I’ll punish them in the name of the Crystal Empire!”

Cadance shook her head. “That was a few weeks ago, darling. Come on, sit down and read from the beginning. I’ll head downstairs to the cellars.”

Shining nodded absently, already engrossed in reading Twilight’s account of their misadventures in Chrysalis’ Hive.

After a few moments he paused, narrowing his eyes. “That’s a good question… what do changelings eat?”

o.0.o

He found Cadance in the cellar, surrounded by empty bottles. “Find anything yet?”

“No,” Cadance sighed, “We really went through them the last party. I think we pretty much finished most of this section.”

“I see.” Shining sat down next to his wife. “I have a sudden craving for fruit bat.”

Cadance groaned. “Me too.”

Hidden Tale stared at the minotaur seated across from him. “I beg your pardon?”

“I said,” the mass of muscles leaned in. “That my assertiveness training will make you 100% more effective! Guaranteed! You will not. Ever. Doubt anything!”

Hidden Tale rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be shy! Look me in the eye!”

Hidden Tale sighed, and locked eyes with the minotaur. “Iron Will. Originally from Ammassalik, where your mother and brothers live, making a living out of a daycare for gryphons and minotaurs alike. You came to Equestria three years ago after completing a Bachelors in Public Relations and attempting to work for a large PR firm in Baltimare, which wouldn't hire you for unspecified reasons and decided to branch out on your own and made a successful career as an assertiveness manager and trainer. Am I correct?”

Iron Will sat back, staring at the strange earth pony in front of him. “Y-yes.”

Hidden Tale nodded. “Your visa has almost expired and if you don’t renew it you will be escorted to the docks and sent back to Ammassalik. The nearest offices that can deal with your ability to legally remain here are in Canterlot, not Ponyville. The flowers you chose are not Fluttershy’s favorites and finally, you have only two more years before you achieve citizenship. Don’t waste it by not renewing your visa and/or antagonizing an Element of Harmony.”

They both stayed quiet after that, listening to the sound of the train on its steady way to Ponyville. Finally, after a full minute had passed, Iron Will stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll need to purchase a ticket back.”

Hidden Tale nodded and looked out the window, his thoughts going to his daughters before a sigh escaped his lips.

“Was that really necessary?”

Hidden Tale blinked and turned to look at Twilight Sparkle, who had sat down across from him after Iron Will had left.

“It was kinda mean,” she added, raising an eyebrow.

Hidden Tale shrugged. “I did him a favor. He could have ended being deported and lost the chance to be a citizen. For all his faults, he’s been fighting to earn it all this time and just because he has a crush on your friend, doesn’t mean he should ignore all his work.”

Twilight Sparkle snorted. “Fine, I guess in that sense you did, but it was still a mean way to put it.” She paused for a bit, studying him. “Are you okay?”

Hidden shook his head. “No. Ch—my people are not exactly like yours, Twilight. We usually don’t form attachments and when new… babies… are born, fathers don’t tend to stick around. Especially in my case.”

“Were you already…” Twilight cast a glance around. “Working for the princess back then?”

Hidden Tale nodded, looking out the window. “I’ve been working for her since before you were born.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Wow, you must have a lot of cool stories to tell!”

Hidden chuckled despite himself. “Not all of them are nice. Maybe one day you can read about them, but I’m afraid I can’t tell.”

Twilight looked at him curiously, tilting her head.

“You don’t have the clearance yet,” Hidden explained and raised a hoof when she was about to object. “But you will. You just have to be patient.”

Twilight pouted, but relented soon after. “I would have thought you would be excited.”

Hidden Tale sighed. “That’s not exactly the word I would choose. But I have a mission.”

“You shouldn't think of it as a mission,” Twilight said, shaking her head and placing a hoof on his shoulder. “Think of it as a chance.”

Hidden Tale looked from her hoof to her eyes before nodding slowly and leaning back on his seat. “A chance. Maybe it is.”

o.0.o End Chapter 6 o.0.o

Because my Sister Deserves the Best

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 7: Because My Sister Deserves the Best.

The buzz of the Hive was felt through the structure itself, and even though her chambers had extra thick walls, and extra thick doors and windows, it still took some getting used to.

Even so, as nostalgic and calming as it could be at times, Rarity—or Purity as she was known here—was currently engaged in a highly demanding, supremely important, absolutely significant activity which required her full attention and was therefore imperative to bring to a satisfactory conclusion.

She removed the purple scarf and wrapped the yellow one on, for the fiftieth time.

“I just don’t know, darling,” she said, frowning slightly. “I like how the yellow brings out the shine in my exoskeleton, but it clashes a bit with my mane… dark green and yellow aren’t traditionally a good match, but the purple one, while reminiscent of my pony mane, seems… underwhelming.”

She floated the purple scarf next to the yellow one. “You know, sister, I have been thinking about all you said in needing love to survive, but I do feel like I get enough from my sister, fans and friends. Even you give me some love and my nieces are nice to me too… I don’t believe that it would be a real problem, even if I… didn’t grow taller. I mean, not that being naturally taller would be a bad thing, why I could model more easily my own line of clothes and I wouldn’t have to look up to meet Fleur eye-to-eye, and certainly a slimmer look might be a little more appealing? I have been hitting the fruit bats lately...” her eyes brightened. “And I could use a taller look to make clothes for Saddle Arabians and have a clearer idea of what it would look like! Not that being a changeling I can’t change myself but, au naturale does have that je ne sais quoi.”

She looked over at Chrysalis, who didn’t answer, before sighing and looking back at the mirror.

“I know you’re worried, but a few hundred years? That’s a lot of time for a pony. I would live a full life, spent with my loving extended family… what else could anypony want?”

She turned to look at Chrysalis, who didn’t move or acknowledge her, merely sticking to looking out the window.

Rarity frowned. “Chrysy, it’s not polite to ignore me! I know I take my time with this, but as Princesses or rather Queens, we must present ourselves in ways that are alluring, chic and beautiful! It’s just as important as ordering troops, or international relations! Why, imagine if Princess Celestia arrived at the Griffon Empire with a shaved mane!”

She shivered, but the lack of answers from Chrysalis made her pout. “Are you even list—” she was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Excuse me…”

Rarity pulled the door open with her magic. “Hello, I’m afraid we’re…” she stopped and stared at Chrysalis, who was holding up a plate of Fruit Bats and two cups full of hot chocolate. “Wh-abuh…”

Chrysalis smiled. “Settled for the yellow one, eh? Good, we can finally go do something productive.”

Rarity bristled. “Productive! This is highly productive!” She paused to munch on a fruit bat and swallowed before continuing. “And why are there two of you?”

“Two of…” Chrysalis blinked and looked past Rarity at herself, sitting next to the window. “Oh. Sis, that’s not me anymore.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Chrysalis managed to look slightly embarrassed. “Well… you were taking so long I molted.”

“I did not take that long!” Rarity snapped. “And you shouldn’t leave discarded exoskeletons lying around for anypony to find! Imagine what they could do with them!”

Chrysalis smirked. “I’ll have you know that some of my biggest changeling fans have my previous moltings as altars in their caves.”

Rarity blinked. “That… is disturbing.”

“But their love tastes soooo goood!”

“So what are these plans that you insist are more important than changeling chic?” Rarity asked after their meal was done and the Hive's reserves of Fruit Bats were declared dangerously low again.

Chrysalis pondered, staring at her empty cup for a few moments. “Remember what I said about needing the love of a Hive to survive?”

“Yeees?”

“I have recently discovered that, Queen Apocrita of the Northern Hives is close to passing away…”

“Oh, no!”

“Oh, yes!” Chrysalis nodded, grinning evilly. “And her Hive will die if another is not found.”

“Oh my,” Rarity delicately cleaned her mouth with a napkin. “That’s terrible! What are they going to do? Are you planning on helping them?”

Chrysalis stared at Rarity for a long time. “Okay, I’m going to let you think about where I’m going with all of this.”

Rarity frowned. “You want to get the queen a suitor?”

Chrysalis smacked her face on the table. “No,” she muttered. “We’re going to make you their Queen.”

“Oh!” Rarity exclaimed. “Oh.” She stated immediately after. Then her eyes widened. “Oh…”

“And,” Chrysalis waved her hoof around to emphasize her point. “I already told her that you accept.”

“When did you even do that?!”

“While you were deciding on the scarf…”

“I did NOT take that long!”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow.

“B-besides,” Rarity stammered, beginning to panic. “Why would you even do that? I have absolutely NO experience being a Queen!”

“But you need a Hive,” Chrysalis insisted. “And I want to help you get it. No sister of mine is going to starve to death within two hundred years on my watch!”

“Two hundred years?”

“I figure it’ll take you that long to get a handle on it,” Chrysalis explained, waving her hoof dismissively. “It only took me about twenty, but, well…”

“Well, what?”

Chrysalis’ eyes drifted to the yellow scarf.

“I DID NOT TAKE THAT LONG!”

o.0.o End Chapter 7 o.0.o

Author's Note

Um... I dunno if I should write one this time around.

Totally Not Cool

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 8: Totally Not Cool

“Dude, this is totally not cool,” Shining Armor declared, looking at what his Minister of Foreign Affairs had arranged for the unexpected visit of Queen Chrysalis’ daughter.

“I assure you, sir” a tall, lanky crystal pony gentlecolt with an unusually obsequious intonation to his words immediately responded, “That this is the deepest dungeon we could find, commissioned by Sombra himself to ensure any Balrogs were well taken care of.”

This information gave Shining Armor pause. “Wait, Balrogs?”

“Indeed, sir.”

“As in made of shadows and fire, whips and—”

“Yes sir, the whole shebang as they say, sir. King Sombra was quite fond of requesting their presence and organizing huge, violent gore-fests with them in the dungeons. The Balrogs would party with his majesty for days, while slaves were brought down for entertainment and food.”

Shining Armor’s eyes had widened and he looked around at the dungeon in a completely new light. “Cool!”

“Quite, sir.”

“We need to have them over, have that kid… uh… Sentry. Whatever his first name is, be the messenger. He said something about being fast as a flash or something. We need a totally awesome, tubular experience! We can teach them about friendship and have endless beer!”

“I shall inform recruit Flash Sentry to perform this highly dangerous request, sir. Anything else, sir?”

“Nah! Just… get a room ready upstairs for Princess Acari. I don’t care which one. I think there was a totally rad one right across from mine and Cadance’s. Give her that one. We have a totally rad party to organize!”

“Quite right, sir.”

“It will be gnarly!”

“Exquisitely Gnarly, sir.”

Cadance considered the scroll she was writing down for Twilight to read. With Shining Armor taking care of accommodations for their unexpected visitors. Hopefully he would place them somewhere politely far from their own rooms. After all, she didn’t really look forward to spending time with the daughter of the mare that had touched her Shiny. Repeatedly.

She absently fanned herself before her thoughts went back to the letter. “What to write?”

“Mistress, the chefs have requested a menu for her royal majesty and the Hero Twilight Sparkle’s visit.”

Cadance blinked and looked deep into her secretary’s eyes, trying to ignore the fact that she was made of crystal. It wouldn’t do for her subjects to realize their Empress was deathly afraid of the material they were made of, after all.

Quartz Quill, however, felt suddenly self-conscious. Her Royal Empress Cadance always looked deep into her eyes, with such... intensity… she felt herself blush. Could her Magnificence like her? What was going on behind those purple irises when she stared so deeply into her soul? Was she thinking of inviting her to join their majesties in depraved—

“Fruit Bats.”

Quartz Quill blinked. “I—what?”

“Fruit Bats,” Cadance repeated, unrelenting in holding Quill’s eyes in place with the intensity of her gaze. “Changelings love eating Fruit Bats. Delicious, juicy Fruit Bats.”

Quartz Quill drew a shuddering breath, feeling herself blush under the spell of Cadance’s irises. She leaned forward, just a bit. “J-juicy… a-and delicious.” She gulped.

“Fruit Bats, yes.” Cadance nodded.

Quartz Quill’s lips felt dry as she leaned forward a bit more until all she could see were the purple gems of iridescent beauty that belonged to her Mistress and Empress. “It shall be done,” she whispered. Then, a fleeting thought crossed her mind. “Oh, deer.”

This had the unfortunate effect of breaking eye contact.

“What? Oh dear what?”

Clearing her throat, Quartz Quill took a regretful step back. “Not ‘Oh dear’, your Supreme Highness; Deer. The Deerfolk delegation are scheduled for arrival in the next few days to honor the peace agreement forged with them after the destruction of Sombra.”

“Of course!” Cadance sighed, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “How could I forget? Isn’t the date of their arrival symbolic, too? Something to do with…”

“Their greatest battle and victory against their hated enemies, the Balrogs, yes,” Quartz Quill nodded. “Their days-long procession through their haunted woods, lead by their ancient leader Cúthalion Autumleaves symbolizes the gladness that they have for our kingdom to be freed from the alliance of King Sombra and Lord Bloodborn Aleguzzler of the Balrogs. It is a gesture indicating that the wait was worth the reward.”

“I can see that,” Cadance sighed. “Well, at least Twilight will be here, and I hear Princess Acari is a scholar herself. I am sure that they will both be fascinated by talking to another being as ancient as Celestia.”

Suddenly, Quartz Quill was once more held in place by the amazingly focused look Her Sublime Joy, Empress Cadance gave her. “Meep?”

“Quartz, have the chefs research the proper procedure to cook Fruit Bats, and make sure that they absolutely understand Deerfolk cousine. I know Lord Cúthalion will have brought his own experts, but if we can impress them with something simple, yet significant, we will have made the right move.”

“A-at once my beloved!”

Cadance blinked. “What?”

“M-my B-beloved Empress! Queen of Hearts and Light of the Crystal Heart!”

Cadance sighed. “How many times do I have to ask you to stop adding titles?”

“J-just one more time, y-your Crystalline Magnificience, a-as always!”

Cadance watched the crystal pony scamper out of her office.

"Sir, the Balrogs have accepted the invitation and declared your sacrificial offering suitable, they will be arriving sometime during the week."

"Wow. That Sentry dude was fast! I didn’t expect them to answer so soon! He left what, an hour ago?”

“Indeed, sir. But the Balrogs have magical fires that immediately transport unprepared interlopers straight into their torture cham—”

“Whoa, hold on, bro. Offering? Did you have Flash Sentry carry something over to them?"

"...not quite, sir."

Shining's eyes locked on him.

"They did say they would bring several wagons full of beer, sir."

"Ace!"

o.0.o End Chapter 8 o.0.o

Author's Note

You might have noticed I started using some images to indicate where the action is taking place. It should make it easier to recognize which thread of the story we're currently at.

This Shouldn’t Be Happening Right Now

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 9: This Shouldn’t Be Happening Right Now

Shining Armor frowned as he read the report he had picked up. It seemed the wolf clans further north insisted on crossing the borders of the Crystal Empire, claiming that it was their own now, and that the ponies of the Empire had no claim after a thousand-year absence.

Except that, while the Empire had disappeared, the borders had remained the same and it had been impossible for anypony—or wolf, for that matter—to cross them. This required immediate attention, as ignoring them would be a definitive sign of weakness… in the wolves’ eyes.

Not that they could actually win an all-out fight against the ponies, but it would definitely be inconvenient.

Shining Armor massaged his forehead. “Sombra really made a long-lasting mess,” he muttered. Shaking his head, he looked up. “Emerald Dawn!”

The door to his office opened and a green-tinted female crystal pony looked in. “Yes, your highness?”

“Where’s Flash Sentry? He made friends with that Wolf merchant not to long ago, something about him wanting to be a lone-wolf with a guitar... I think I can use him for something important.”

Emerald Dawn blinked. “Um, he hasn’t returned from the last mission your highness requested of him.”

Shining Armor’s face went blank. “What mission?”

“Sir, I am pleased to inform that the Bakers Guild is at your full disposal and are eagerly baking the large order Sir requested, and putting everything else on hold, as directed.”

“Radical!” Shining Armor exclaimed, as they walked down the halls of the Crystal Castle. “This will be such a totally awesome event! I can’t wait!”

“Indeed, Sir.”

“Why, I—” Shining Armor stopped speaking when he, along with his obsequious friend, were surrounded by a light-blue magical aura and dragged into a side room, with the door slamming shut and barred behind them. “Whoa, totally uncalled for!”

“What. Have. You. Done.” Shining Armor asked in a slow and very controlled tone of voice.

“Chill bro,” Shining Armor replied, cheerfully raising his hoof to salute. “I totally did what was requested!”

“Quite right, Sir.”

“You, Mercury Cut,” Shining Armor pointed his arm at the obsequious pony, “Shut up. And you,” he turned to look at Shining Armor. “You had one job, Green Darner. One job: To make sure that whatever place we settled Princess Acari in, would be at least adequate for a Changeling Princess.”

“I totally did!” Shining Armor said, bursting into green flames and revealing a changeling with green, gossamer wings and green-blue eyes. “She’ll be totally comfortable in the rooms across from yours and her Empress Cadance.”

Shining gritted his teeth. “You realize that Cadance will not appreciate having Acari stay just across from our rooms when her mother had her trapped in the crystal caverns for weeks, right?”

“It’s totally cool,” Green Darner assured him. “Princess Acari will not mind.”

“Prin—” Shining Armor sputtered. “She… okay, that can be spun into something Cadance can tolerate. I think. I’ll have to do some talking… but I have another question, where is Flash Sentry?”

“Oh, I have no idea,” Green Darner replied, shrugging. “Probably still in the Balrog Kingdom’s Torture Chambers.”

Shining Armor remained still, having closed his eyes instinctively when Green Darner’s words had emerged. He took a deep, calming breath.

Princess Cadance was walking down the hall when the shouting had began from one of the rooms, reverberating through the whole structure of the castle. Whoever was causing such a ruckus was really, really angry.

She knocked on the door where the noise was coming from, and was promptly ignored. So she knocked again, harder. The shouts within continued, although now that she was really close to the origin, she could make out the sound of the angry voice.

“Shiny?” she called loudly, knocking on the door. “Open the door! What’s going on in there?”

When she was ignored yet again, she growled and lit up her horn, using her magic to slam the door open, barely registering a slight green flash of light from within.

“Shining!” She gasped, when she found her husband choking a pegasus pony guard. “Let that guard go!”

Shining cringed, turning to look at her with panicked eyes and letting his victim fall to the floor. “H-honey!” He smiled. “What brings you in? T-today?”

“You were shouting.” Princess Cadance stepped into the room, looking around and nodding at Mercury Cut before turning to look at her husband. “What is going on?”

“Um… training.”

Cadance frowned. “Do you usually train your guards by choking them to death?”

Shining cringed once more. “No. Sorry, honey, I was just trying to drive a point through.”

“Oh, and what point would that be?”

When Shining Armor didn't immediately respond, she turned to look at Mercury Cut. “What point would that be, Mercury?”

“I believe Sir would be referencing the invitation Captain Green Darner extended to the Balrog Kingdom to come over for a party with the full authority of Emperor Armor. Which of course, the Balrog King accepted.”

“YOU WHAT?!” Shining Armor shouted.

“HE WHAT?!” Cadance shouted, turning to look at her husband with barely constrained fury. “The Deer delegation is arriving in a couple of days!”

“You sent Flash Sentry to their torture chambers?!” Shining Armor asked, incredulously. “Just so you could invite them to party!? Here?!”

Shining Armor and Cadance both raised their hooves to the air. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”

“Chill, dudes!” Green Darner said, grinning. “The Balrogs are like, totally awesome dudes.”

“Legends describe them as demons made of fire and ash!” Shining Armor stated.

“They fed ponies to the Windigos!” Cadance added.

“They partied like animals, drank a lot and practiced sport with the aid of the slaves, back in Sombra’s day,” Mercury added helpfully.

“They were at war with the Deer for a thousand years or more!”

“You sent a pony to their torture chambers!”

Flash Sentry sipped some tea, sinking back into the sofa and admiring the art on the walls of the room where he had been taken to… suffer.

The soft, instrumental music provided a soothing background effect that made him feel all relaxed.

He leaned forward to pick up the daily news from Equestria. “Huh, I was totally not expecting this,” he muttered, glancing around before settling back and beginning to read. “I guess the word ‘suffer’ has a different meaning to these guys.”

“I want my soldier back!” Shining Armor barked. “And in one piece!”

“We can’t receive the Balrogs on the same week that the Deer are coming! You have to stop them!”

“If madam would permit,” Mercury Cut cut in, “I would be remiss to not point out that the Balrog Kingdom will not take a cancelled invitation on behalf of the Deer as a good sign, and might take severe offense at this act.”

Cadance growled and glared at her husband, before taking a deep breath, bringing her hoof to the chest and extending it as she released the air slowly. Nodding to herself, she glanced at Shining Armor. “Shining.”

Shining Armor cringed. “Yes, dear?”

“You will make this work, somehow, am I clear?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Good.” Cadance turned around and headed out the room. “Now, I am off to my chambers to sink my face in a pillow and rage for the next hour.” She raised an eyebrow. “If you three value your health, you will not interrupt me.”

“Yes, your highness.” Mercury Cut bowed.

“Absolutely!” Green Darner nodded, bowing soon after.

“Y-yes, honey.” Shining Armor stammered.

They waited in silence as she left, and Shining Armor could only begin to wonder how to make the best of the situation and fix everything.

“Dude,” Green Darner shook his head. “You really made her angry.”

Shining Armor took another, calming, deep breath… cast a silencing spell around the room and shut the door.

o.0.o End Chapter 9 o.0.o

Author's Note

This Shouldn't Be Happening Right Now… but it did. This chapter was supposed to occur after a couple of other chapters, letting people wonder a bit longer what was going to happen and why Shining was acting like he did, but given the general lack of faith and tossed around vitriol, I figured I might as well post it now.

One Fry Short of a Happy Meal

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 10: One Fry Short of a Happy Meal

Diamond Tiara paced from side to side in her room, muttering to herself and giggling nervously at her own random comments. She turned to look, wild-eyed, at her flank once more. Her cutie mark was still there, as it had been for the last seventeen times. She had eaten food at lunch time. She had drank water. The Crusaders, damn their blank flanks, had poisoned the water! Poisoned it with a Cutie Mark-removing poison!

"Poison!" Tiara gasped. "Poison, I say! Did I push them too far? And now Silver Spoon is one of them! A Blank Flank!" She made a face. "I'll need a new minion."

She pondered the conundrum for a moment as she walked to the windows and stared at the pool just outside, picturing herself sunbathing with other possible accessories. Sadly most of the other kids her age that had Cutie Marks were particularly inept. "Ugh. Why do I even bother."

The door to her room opened and she didn't even glance in its direction. "Platter, I have no need of—"

"It's not Platter," Silver Spoon clarified, closing the door behind her.

“Gah! Stay away from me! You’re infectious!”

“Tiara,” Silver Spoon sighed, turning to show Diamond Tiara her Cutie Mark. “They played a prank on us.”

“Crusaders,” Diamond Tiara hissed. “I should have known!”

Silver Spoon shrugged. “You couldn’t have. Apple Bloom has been learning potion making with Zecora for a while. It’s entirely possible she learned something real.”

Diamond Tiara blinked. “Who?”

“The zebra.”

“The Zebra...” Diamond Tiara hissed.

“Okay, I’m calling Platter and having her get you some tea. You need to calm down.”

“I’m perfectly fine!” Diamond Tiara snapped.

“I think you’re having another episode. We should deal with it now, before the paranoia really settles in,” Silver Spoon insisted, walking up to the back of the room and pressing a panel before speaking up. “Platter? Diamond Tiara is having an—”

“I’m NOT having an episode!”

“She needs tea. The calming type.”

“At once, Miss Spoon,” a voice responded.

Diamond Tiara snorted and rolled her eyes. “Like. Whatever.”

Shaking her head, Silver Spoon sat on the bed, watching her friend walk around the room muttering. “Calm down, Tiara, you’re really not going to lose your Cutie Mark.”

“I can’t believe that they would do that to us! To us! Where do they get the gall to do such a thing? Why would they do such a thing?”

Silver Spoon was about to respond when the door opened, allowing a tall, black-coated mare with a silver platter as a cutie mark to walk in, carrying on her back a tea set, which she smartly set down and served. “Tea and crumpets for the ladies.”

“Thank you, Platter,” Silver Spoon said, nodding at her.

“A pleasure, Lady Spoon.”

“Yes yes, now go away!” Diamond Tiara interrupted, throwing two sugar cubes into her tea. “And bring more crumpets!

Once the butler had left, Diamond Tiara turned to look at Silver Spoon. “I shall have my revenge. Those blank flanks will completely regret the day they heard the name Diamond Tiara!”

“Tiara,” Silver Spoon sighed. “They already do.”

“Even more, then.”

“That,” Silver Spoon conceded. “I can definitely see.”

Diamond Tiara raised an eyebrow. “You are being more sarcastic than usual. Do you not approve of my plan?”

Silver Spoon blinked. “Oh. Yes, those blank flanks will rue the day they laid eyes on you!”

“Us.”

“On us!”

“Better.”

Arachne groaned and leaned back and up, balancing on her hind legs, before putting her hooves on her lower back and straightening suddenly, causing her back to crack loudly.

She dropped down to all fours, ignoring the horrified looks of the ponies across the counter. “That’s it. I need a break!”

“Can you not crack your back like that in front of customers?” Bon Bon asked, raising an eyebrow. “It’s not polite.”

Arachne shrugged. “I’m giving them chocolate that I am not eating. Sacrifices must be made on both sides.”

“She has a point,” Lyra said.

“No,” Bon Bon stated. “She does not.”

“In any case, I’m done for now. This “working” concept includes a number of “breaks” that I can take, is that correct? Then I wish to take them now.” Arachne argued.

“Fine, fine.” Bon Bon rolled her eyes. “Go. Shoo. Be back in an hour.”

“Yes!” Arachne cheered cantering towards the back door. “Finally! Freedom from the unrelenting whip of my dim-witted caretaker!”

“I can hear you, you know.”

“Even better! Ta-ta!” Arachne slammed the door behind her and took a deep breath.

“Hi!” Pinkie Pie said, emerging from the water barrel next to the door. “I heard you just got a break! That’s awesome! Every time I get a break, I have like a thousand things to do so I just go and meet ponies and make a list of ponies I haven’t met and then make cupcakes for them and then remember that I have to meet with Dashie to plan Nightmare Night and then I find out that you have a—” She took a deep breath. “Break! And that means that I can get to hang out with you because I totally didn’t last time because there was so much going on and you had captured Twilight and Rarity had to go find you but I couldn’t go because we would get caught or some other reason but in the end it was all right but you guys ended up doing community service which is like, wow, you know and then—”

“Pinkie!” Arachne shouted, shoving her hoof into Pinkie’s mouth. “Stop! What are you doing here?”

Pinkie gasped. “Wait!”

“What?”

“I have to meet Dashie! We have to plan Nightmare Night pranks!”

She turned around and was about to bolt when a red energy field enveloped her. “Wait,” Arachne said. “Did you say… pranks?”

o.0.o End Chapter 10 o.0.o

Author's Note

May contain peanuts.

My Hive is Your Hive

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 11: My Hive is your Hive

Rarity, Chrysalis and their honor guard stood in a cavern, looking around in awe.

The cavern was huge, curving slowly from the flat and sandy wide base with unhealthy-looking black trees to ragged stalagmites, threatening and dark at it's narrow top high above. Two metallic doors, designed to look like wings stood almost as solid as the walls around them, awaiting for the signal from within to open.

"Purity," Chrysalis hissed, "stop fiddling with your scarf."

"I'm nervous!"

"Dignity, Purity. Don't forget dignity."

Rarity glanced at the changeling gnawing on a nearby tree. "He's hard to forget, dear, he followed us all the way here." She paused. "Why did he follow us all the way here?"

Chrysalis smiled. "He's the next in line for receiving one of my discarded exo-skeletons so he wanted to be close when it happened."

"That is..." Rarity shuddered. "Disgusting."

"I find it endearing," Chrysalis confessed.

"Announcing Queens Purity and Chrysalis of the Northern Hive!" a voice echoed from the other side of the doors, and slowly, with a steady rumble, the doors shuddered open, allowing them to see a crystalline hall just beyond them. Several entourages of Changelings seemed to already be there, all paying attention to the pair of Queens and muttering to each other.

"Hmm," Chrysalis frowned. "This is not good."

"What?" Rarity asked, forcing her eyes away from the lovely crystalline formations. "What's wrong?"

"There are other Queens here to take the throne." She nodded towards a group on the far right, where a very thin and tall Queen with long white hair stared steadily at both of them. "That's Queen Dermestid over there, I should have figured she'd drag her malodorous thorax in here."

"I'm sure that—"

"—that she'll be a pain, yes," Chrysalis hissed. "But she's not the worst here. Look. There's Queen Dacus."

Rarity followed Chrysalis eyes to a small entourage around the obvious queen. She had a slightly olive-green tint to her exoskeleton and a rusty-orange mane. "What's the problem with her."

"She's a pest," Chrysalis muttered.

Rarity rolled her eyes and smiled pleasantly at the two Queens. That was immediately followed by another round of hushed muttering.

"And of course, Queen Phoneutria herself is here," Chrysalis muttered, looking at the other side of the hall, where a large, almost muscular brown-tinted Queen stood, watching them intently, with only two bodyguards at her side. "Don't stare, Rarity, it's dangerous."

"Ah, welcome!" A tired voice echoed from above drawing everyone's attention to a balcony, where an elderly Changeling Queen was being helped to by a pair of attentive drones. "Now that the two sisters have arrived, we are all here and ready to begin."

They had been led into a large throne room and offered seats around a beautifully crafted table. At every corner and turn, Rarity's eyes would glitter with awe and appreciation for the delicate work that had gone into decorating the crystal caverns Apocrita governed.

Queen Apocrita sat on a large throne made of different shades of quartz, and looked across the rock crystal table at the gathered Queens. "Welcome all of you who answered my request to attend," she said, breath wheezing. "As you all know, I have little time left in this world, and with my only daughter having passed away..." she sighed. "My Hive has no future without a Queen."

The hall was silent for a moment, but Rarity did not miss that all the other Queens, Chrysalis included, gave each other predatory looks and smiles. Their reactions were not lost on Apocrita, who sneered at them all.

"Yes, I see that all of you are ready to sink your fangs into it already." Her eyes roamed the table and hesitated slightly on Chrysalis and Rarity before becoming hard again. "But it won't be so simple. I will not be murdered. In fact, I have a last standing order: if I am to be murdered, my whole Hive will descend on you all at the cost of their own lives and devour you, dooming your own Hives to death or the machinations of your daughters."

"You dare!" Queen Phoneutria rose from her seat, glaring at Apocrita. "Then why invite us to decide who will inherit your Hive?"

Queen Apocrita smiled pleasantly. "I will make the final decision, so I must remain alive until it's been made. You all... you are all fair game to each other as long as there is no outright violence. You must prove to me that you will be the right Queen for my Hive. Will it be you, Queen Phoneutria? Known for your ruthlessness and efficiency?" She turned her head. "Or perhaps Queen Dermestid, silent as the grave yet knowing so many secrets? It might fall in the lap of Queen Dacus, who has overrun entire lands and farmed their peoples for hundreds of years?"

Her eyes settled on Rarity and Chrysalis. "Or perhaps my Hive will find a place under the rule of the Two Sisters. The only Changeling Hive to have more than one Queen, defying tradition and common sense by somehow striking at Canterlot, yet seemingly being able to not only escape the wrath of the Sun and the Moon, but also somehow courting the Crystal Empire and Canterlot itself."

Phoneutria and Dacus seemed surprised by this information, while Dermestid had smirked knowingly.

"My Hive is the third largest Hive, smaller only than Dacus and the Sisters' Hives. For Phoenutria and Dermestid, this means that they would be on equal standing with either. For either Dacus or the Sisters it would mean a clear distinction of power. This is not a small price, my dears, and its something very worthy of pursuing..." Apocrita's eyes narrowed and her tone became harsh. "But my Hive is not cannon fodder. My Hive is not a simple addition of numbers. My Hive is my Hive unless one of you wins it. And it will always remain itself. When one of you—if one of you— raises to the task of being this Hive's Queen, remember that its not becoming your hive. You are becoming its Queen."

The gathered Queens glanced at each other uneasily, eyes narrowing in calculation, fully aware now that the stakes were higher than they had imagined. Already plans were being calculated, opponents measured, temporary allies considered.

Rarity felt very much out of her depth.

"For now," Queen Apocrita spoke up again, "we will dine." She nodded at one of her retainers, who pulled on a small chain. The doors to the throne room opened and several changelings walked in, levitating several plates of food. "I have had specialties from all Hives prepared for us tonight. Tomorrow the bid begins. Please indulge in the delicacy of my Hive: Ruby Honey."

Rarity sniffed the food as it was brought in and put on display. In front of each guest, a small crystal bowl with shiny little balls of crystallized red honey were set down. Her mouth watered at the sight of Fruit Bats, and she kept glancing lovingly at the crystallized honey but her eyes wandered to the other plates. In front of Queen Phoenutria, strange, almost frog-like looking creatures had been cooked, and the Queen was eagerly transferring several to her plate. She stopped when she noticed Rarity's interest. "Is something wrong, Queen Purity?" she asked giving her fellow Queen an angry glare, as if daring her to question the delicacies in front of her.

Rarity blinked. "Oh, I beg your pardon, Queen Phoenutria!" she quickly said. "I was just looking at your plate, are those delicacies from your Hive?"

Phoenutria's chest puffed with pride. "Yes, they are! My favorite dish, and most delicious food in the world, sans none: the coconut frog! The skin is tough and hard to crack, but when cooked correctly, it separates easily allowing you access to the delicious meat inside." She demonstrated by very carefully peeling off the hard shell, which reminded Rarity of a coconut, now that she thought about it, revealing underneath a white, soft meat that smelled deliciously of coconuts and brought thoughts of the beach and tropics to Rarity.

"Oh my, that looks delicious, darling! Perhaps you would be interested in exchanging one of them for a fruit bat?" Rarity's fanged smile was too honest for Queen Phoenutria to detect any sarcasm in it and so, with a shrug, she levitated one and placed it in Rarity's plate, while Rarity reciprocated, placing a couple of fruit bats on Phoenutria's.

"Bah." Queen Dacus sneered. "As much as you praise your food, dear Phoenutria, one cannot deny the sheer delicacy of Olive Beetles stuffed garlic," she said, popping one into her mouth. "Simply delicious, and such subtle flavors! Thanks to my Hive infiltrating so thoroughly into the Minotaur lands, we have discovered so many food combinations! Stuffing them with garlic or blue cheese, red peppers... even chilli scarabs!" She waved a dismissive hoof at Phoenutria's dishes. "Simply superior."

Without even asking, she had placed a variety of stuffed olives in another plate in front of Rarity. "Why, thank you Queen Decus, these look simply divine!" Rarity said, smiling. "Could I interest you in a fruit bat? And I assure you that you are depriving yourself of a delicacy by not trying Queen Phoenutria's coconut frogs, why the smell alone is enough to make me crave them already."

Queen Decus frowned, and glanced at the coconut frogs for a moment, before looking up at Queen Phoenutria. "A trade. We shall decide which dish is superior."

Phoenutria smirked. "A trade."

Rarity glanced at Queen Dermestid, who tilted her head. "I don't believe you want to try any of my Hive's specialties, Queen Purity," she said with a tight smile. "These are called Cocooned Ages, in honor of the food inside being conserved in careful decay for hundreds of years. It's a very... exotic plate."

Rarity gulped, looking at what she had originally thought were simply overly-steamed balls of spinach. "A-and what are those, dear?"

Dermestid looked ponderously at the egg-shaped balls of clay resting on a plate in front of her. "Millenium Eggs," she explained. "They are preserved and changed through a century of preparation, where they simply change." She smiled. "Would any of you like to try one?"

The other Queens, except for Apocrita, leaned back, although all eyes were on Rarity, who after a pause, slowly nodded and enveloped an egg in her magic.

"Wait," Dermestid sounded almost surprised. "Allow me."

They all watched Dermestid as she cracked the hard shell around the egg, revealing a more normal-looking one under it, although its shell was shiny and dark, with lighter patterns on it. With a careful slice of magic, she separated the top of the shell from the bottom, carefully taking both ends off of the egg, and leaving them intact as her magic levitated the dark-green contents and sliced it into equal pieces, arranging them like a flower on top of a crystal plate and around the shell. Once this was done, she levitated the prepared food over to Rarity, who looked down at it with a bit of hesitation, before levitating a slice and, holding her breath and closing her eyes, took a bite.

There was complete silence in the hall as Rarity chewed the soft millenium egg.

"This..." Rarity swallowed. "This is delicious!"

The doors to the chamber slammed open and Chrysalis cantered in with a slightly disgruntled look in her face. Her horn glowed steadily as she dragged a moaning Rarity into the room and nodded at their guards to close the doors behind them.

"Ugh," Rarity groaned. "Sister... my stomach. It's going to explode."

Chrysalis snorted and laid her sister on her bed. "And you deserve it! I can't believe how much you ate!"

"Food... delicious. Must... hit the gym tomorrow. Work it out."

Chrysalis chuckled, climbing into her own bed and casting several protective spells in the room. "Trust me, sister, the gym is the last thing you'll have to worry about tomorrow."

Her only reply was a snore.

You Are What You Eat

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 12: You Are What You Eat

The Cutie Mark Crusaders and Thysa were working on their plans for Nightmare Night when Sweetie's stomach growled. "Girls," she said, "I'm hungry."

Apple Bloom and the others stopped designing blueprints for their project and looked at each other. "Yeah, Ah'm hungry too," she confessed, tapping her jaw pensively. "But what could we eat?"

"I just want to go somewhere that has options," Thysa groaned, her stomach also grumbling. "No offense, but being limited to salads doesn't really cut it."

"Hey, how about that Ammassalikian place on the other side of town?" Scootaloo asked after humming to herself. "You know, the one the griffon's go to whenever they visit?"

"Uh, isn't that a carnivore restaurant?" Apple Bloom asked after some hesitation. "Ah don't know if we should go there."

"Nah," Scootaloo shrugged. "It's owned by a Minotaur, so it's more of an omnivorous restaurant, so they do salads. I hear the specialty has olives in it. Supposed to be pretty good."

"And I could order something other than grass!" Thysa clapped her hooves together. "Sounds great!"

"We don't only eat grass!" Apple Bloom complained as they stood up and walked out of their club house. "We also eat vegetables! And fruit!"

"It's okay, Bloom," Sweetie said, patting her friend's shoulder. "She didn't mean it that way."

"I will find a way to punish them!" Diamond Tiara growled for the fortieth time. "They will rue the day they decided to play pranks on me!"

Silver Spoon said nothing, merely content to follow Diamond Tiara's lead. It wasn't like she had any pangs of regret or wanted to avoid them. No sir. She barely managed to stop herself before she slammed onto Diamond Tiara's rump. "Tiara! Tell me before you stop so suddenly!"

Diamond Tiara looked back at her and made shushing gestures. Silver Spoon frowned and looked past her, realization dawning on her as she saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Thysa walking across the street and entering a restaurant.

"Ew. They went into that omnivore restaurant with the weird cook!" Diamond Tiara made gagging noises.

"I hear the salads are pretty good," Silver Spoon said automatically, before catching herself.

Diamond Tiara's eyes glinted. "Really? So that's what they're going to eat." She watched the patrons of the restaurant giving the Crusaders odd looks, but forgetting about them quickly enough. "And look at all those gryphons, diamond dogs and Minotaurs. I bet if we put the wrong food in their plates the Crusaders are going to be so disgusted they'll throw up and upset everyone else in there." She turned to look at Silver Spoon. "And you know how defensive carnivores are about their disgusting eating habits."

"I dunno, Tiara, that might b—"

"Oh, come on," Diamond Tiara interrupted. "Remember that time we teased that gryphon merchant for a whole hour about how uncivilized he was for not being a vegetarian? And we even made up statistics, misquoted the news and exaggerated the effects of meat on any species?"

Silver Spoon shifted uneasily. "Um, yeah... but that's different, we weren't surrounded by carnivores and throwing up their food... the Crusaders might actually get hurt."

"Nah, they'll be embarrassed and get kicked out, but they wouldn't really hurt some fillies." She nudged Silver Spoon. "Come on. Let's go. For all we know they already eat meat, just like all those losers. After all, you are what you eat."

The first thing they noticed was that all the other customers were glancing their way. It was a bit unnerving to have all those omnivores and carnivores staring at them, but after a slight hesitation, the crusaders stepped forth, found a table and sat around it.

Soon enough, after some amused glances, the other patrons turned their attention back to their meals and resumed their conversations.

"Wow, this place is intense!" Scootaloo whispered excitedly. "I bet Rainbow Dash comes here all the time to hang out with her gryphon relatives."

The others exchanged uneasy glances.

"Um, Scootaloo," Apple Bloom spoke up finally. "Rainbow Dash is a pony, she has no gryphon relatives."

Scootaloo snorted. "Of course she does. Fluttershy told me. That's why Gilda stayed with her in her home while she was here and it was okay for them to do stuff together. They're cousins."

Sweetie Belle groaned and rested her head on the table while Thysa bit her lip and Apple Bloom looked at Scootaloo like she had grown a second head. "Scootaloo, that's not why—"

"Well! Hello, little fillies, and welcome to "The Jovial Traveler"!" a voice interrupted. They turned to look at a large, muscular minotaur with a comically small notebook in his huge hands. "My name is Golden Strength, and this is my restaurant. What can I get for you today?"

"Um, can we look at the menu?" Thysa asked. "I want to see the options we have!"

"Why, sure! Let me bring you the pon—"

"I'd like the full menu, please," Thysa pleaded.

The minotaur shrugged and pulled out four menus, leaving them on the table. "Take a look, the salads are in the back." He pointed at a gryphoness who was currently attending another table. "Sæla will take your order when you're ready. I'll have her bring you some water to drink."

And with that, the minotaur chef was gone.

The crusaders studied their menus for a moment. Sweetie whimpered. "T-they serve Fruit Bats."

Apple Bloom leaned forth. "Sweetie, just order a salad. Ah know it can be disturbing but we need to be—"

She was once again interrupted when a gryphoness set four mugs full of water in front of them. She blew a stray feather away and raised her eyebrow. "The name's Sæla and I'll be your waitress for today. Did you fillies already make your decision?"

The fillies looked at each other and shrugged.

"We hear you have a very good salad? The house special?"

Sæla chuckled. "No wonder Golden came out to see you in person. Most of the patrons here are too sick of salad from just about everywhere else in Equestria, so he doesn't get to make it that often."

"That would explain why he looked slightly disappointed when we didn't ask for it immediately," Thysa noted.

"That would be why," Sæla agreed.

"Well, we want four of them!" Apple Bloom said.

"Nope, we only want three," Thysa said immediately. "I'd like to order a Dreki salad."

Both of Sæla's eyebrows went up. "Are you sure? That's not normal pony fare."

Thysa nodded. "I've had them before."

"If you say so!"

Sæla quickly wrote the order, picked up the menus and left the group with a sideways glance. "I have to go out for a bit, but if your order is ready Æðra will bring it over, okay?"

The fillies nodded and watched her leave.

"Why did they have to have Fruit Bats?" Sweetie hissed once she was out of sight.

"You want some? I could order them," Thysa grinned. "But don't worry, I'll share."

"Yuck," Scootaloo whispered. "Don't joke about that."

Apple Bloom nodded, looking a bit green. "Ah know your diet is different, Thysa, but we ponies don't eat that. What is Dreki salad?"

"It means dragon salad," Thysa explained.

"Ew! Is it made of dragons?"

Thysa's reply to Scootaloo was to look at her steadily in the eye until the pegasus filly lowered her eyes.

"Okay, that was stupid. But what is it then?"

Thysa considered the three fillies for a moment. "I think you're better off not knowing."

Sæla put the order slip on the counter. "Order up!" she called, "Golden, I need to do that errand from earlier, I already told Æðra to take my tables. I'll be back soon!"

There was an acknowledging grunt from the kitchen, and nodding, she left, not noticing that the slip was quickly taken by a soft-pink hoof.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Silver Spoon whispered.

Diamond Tiara grinned. "Yes, I am. I got them the most disgusting things I could find. Imagine their faces when they get four orders of those and this thing I found in the salad section that has meat, eggs... bleh. It's even drenched in spicy sauce. I bet they throw up their breakfast just at the smell of all of it." She quickly imitated the hoof writing and added several lines to the order. "They'll also get stuck with a higher bill!"

Silver Spoon cringed. "I think this might be a bit much."

Diamond Tiara shook her head. "Come on, we don't want to get caught, but I really want to find a place where we can watch."

"Speaking of dragons," Apple Bloom said—after the three crusaders had considered Thysa's words and decided that they really didn't want to know—, "What's going on with you'n Spike?"

Thysa blushed. "W-well, nothing. Yet." She sighed. "I think Spike still likes auntie Purity. It's kinda hard to compete with a Queen."

Sweetie Belle patted Thysa's forehoof. "It's okay, Thysa, you know that Purity doesn't see Spike that way. She loves him as a friend, and I'm sure he'll catch on that he's missing out on spending time with a cute ch—girl like you."

They all looked around warily, trying to determine if anyone in the room had heard Sweetie's slip. When it was clear they were not paying attention to them, they all relaxed.

"Thanks Sweetie," Thysa grinned. "I'm just biding my time. I'm sure Spike will realize that I am his destined love!" She started cackling madly, drawing the attention of other patrons to them.

"Um... yeah, sure," Apple Bloom said hurriedly, elbowing Thysa. "But how about you don't channel your mom."

"Oh," Thysa grinned sheepishly, cutting off her cackles. "Sorry about that."

"Here's your order," a voice said, and they turned to look at a female minotaur balancing a large tray. "Who's the Dreki for?"

"Me!" Thysa said, raising her hoof.

The plate was set in front of her.

"I have three house salads?"

"Over here!" Scootaloo said, motioning to herself, Sweetie and Apple Bloom.

The minotaur swiftly placed all three salads in front of them, and then proceeded to place four plates of cooked fruit bats in front of each filly. "Okay, there's your order. Is there anything else you'd like?"

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were staring in horrified fascination at the stacked plates placed in front of them. "W-wait! We didn't order this!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Yeah! We'd never eat something like that!" Scootaloo added.

Conversation in the room immediately ceased. "Is there a problem with eating meat?" A diamond dog growled from a table, eyeing the fillies. "Maybe you shouldn't be here if you can't take it."

"Or maybe they just think they're better than us, meat eaters, because they only eat plants," a gryphon added. "You ponies are always lording over us how better you are because you don't eat meat."

There were some mutterings of agreement from other patrons, and the crusaders wilted under the accusatory glances of the other patrons.

"We've never done that!" Apple Bloom complained. "We just don't eat meat! Don't mean we think any less of others that do!"

"Besides!" Sweetie Belle jumped up. "We all know that fruit bats are delicious, right? We don't think they're disgusting at all!"

"Is that so?" The diamond dog asked.

"Y-yeah," Scootaloo replied. "We just didn't order them, that's all!"

"Yeah!" Apple Bloom seconded. "We uh, we just don't wanna get stuck with the bill."

The diamond dog grinned. "Well, four nice little fillies like you... tell you what, I'll pay for your whole meal if you finish off the fruit bats. It's only fair they don't go to waste."

"Uh, how about we pay for our own, and you can have the fruit bats?" Scootaloo offered.

"No, no," the gryphon said, stepping up next to the diamond dog. "We all know they're delicious, right? We couldn't deny you fillies the pleasure."

"Really?!" Sweetie's eyes widened. "You'd really pay for us to eat them?"

The diamond dog and the gryphon shared a smile. "Sure."

"But if you don't eat them... or throw up... we will be very, very upset."

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom shared worried looks, turning to look at Thysa. "Can you, uh... finish them?"

Thysa blinked. "And my salad? Oh, hive no. But I can finish a plate."

"That leaves three more..." Scootaloo said weakly. She gulped, fighting the rising bile in her throat. "I don't—"

She stopped when another plate of salad was pushed her way and the plate of fruit bats was dragged away.

She looked up at Sweetie Belle who had two full plates of fruit bats in front of her. "S-sweetie you can't..."

"What's going on here?" Golden Strength roared, parting the gathered crowd. "Why are you antagonizing my customers?"

"We ain't done anything," the diamond dog growled. "These fillies started insulting our food!"

"I've been antagonized myself plenty of times by fillies their age just because I eat meat!" the gryphon added. "And after ordering food, our food they just make fun of it? That's just shameful!"

"I know you like ponies, Golden," the female minotaur waitress added, "But these kids need to learn a lesson in manners."

"I'm not going to let you—"

"It's okay, Mr. Golden," Sweetie called. "We don't mind!"

"We don't?!" Scootaloo and Apple Bloom asked in tandem, staring at Sweetie Belle in disbelief.

"Girls!" Sweetie hissed." They're paying for our dinner!"

"IF we eat dead animals!" Scootaloo hissed back.

"They're fruit bats! They're like... fruits," Sweetie elaborated, trying to remember what Chrysalis had said. "Uh, you know "Fruit Bats". They’re just like timber wolves. You know. Plants.”

Apple Bloom leveled a very unamused look at Sweetie. "Sweetie. That's a complete lie and you should be ashamed of yourself. Next thing you're going to say is that bacon is also a plant."

"Hmm..." most of the patrons spoke up, including Thysa and Sweetie. "Bacon."

Scootaloo buried her face in her hooves. "This is... I just don't know what to say."

"Oh, just give me the fruit bats."

"Tiara, I'm really not sure about this," Silver Spoon spoke up.

"Hah! Look at them! They already got everyone in there angry!"

"Tiara, they're getting surrounded! Maybe we should call the police."

Diamond Tiara rounded on Silver Spoon. "I don't know what got into you, Silver Spoon, but I am getting my revenge. And your sympathy for those little cretins is not appreciated."

"They might get hurt!" Silver Spoon finally snapped at her friend. "Tiara, if anything happens to them because you changed the order, it's going to be our fault!"

"Hah, like anypony will even know it was us." Diamond Tiara sneered. She blinked when a shadow fell over the both of them and looked up to the face of a very annoyed looking gryphoness.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom stared, their own salads forgotten, as Thysa and Sweetie Belle scarfed down fruit bats like mares possessed.

And they weren't the only ones. The whole group of carnivores around the could only stand with open-jawed awe as the two decimated the four plates of fruit bats in record time. Finally, both fillies leaned back, stomachs full and burped in unison.

"Ugh..." Thysa groaned. "I haven't seen anypony down as many as those as auntie Purity..." she glanced at Sweetie. "I guess we really are related."

Sweetie burped once more.

"Well?" Golden Strength glared at the diamond dog and the gryphon. "Here's their bill."

The diamond dog looked down at it and winced. "O-of course."

"And here," Sæla spoke up from behind the group, making them part to reveal her and two fillies. "Are the culprits behind the additional items."

"Silver Spoon?" Scootaloo asked, surprised.

"And Diamond Tiara." Sweetie shook her head and tried to push herself forward with no success. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I overheard these two saying they had changed the order," Sæla explained.

"Hey, I know those two!" the male gryphon that had sided with the diamond dog said. "They kept chasing me just last week all over downtown telling me I was an uncivilized barbarian because of my diet! I couldn't sell a single thing that day."

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon cringed.

"Well then," Golden Strength spoke up. "Maybe we should call their parents."

All of the patrons muttered in agreement.

"But," Golden added, looking at the diamond dog, "You're still paying for their meal. And you both..." his glare included the gryphon from earlier. "Are going to try my salad."

Chapter XIII: I'm on a Highway to Nightmare Night

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

Chapter XIII: I'm on a Highway to Nightmare Night

By Wanderer D

Twilight Sparkle and Hidden Tale stepped out of the train and onto the platform at Ponyville Station just as the day was starting to darken.

"I'm telling you, Hidden Tale," Twilight said, smiling at her companion. "Nightmare Night is a very important tradition to Ponyville. It's the ideal day to spend some time with some of your daughters. Ponies will be disguised, there'll be plenty of magic tricks, and everypony here really gets into it!"

"Ah'm gonna dah on the Night of Nightmaaaares!" Granny Smith wailed from somewhere in the crowd.

Twilight nodded. "See? Granny Smith is already in character."

"I... see." Hidden Tale looked around at the Ponyvillians decorating the structures in town. "I doubt it'll be as... flamboyant as the ones in Canterlot?"

Twilight chuckled. "No, it's delightfully rustic. Plus! Luna might visit again this year, I know the colts and fillies are certainly hoping she does."

Hidden Tale pondered this for a moment. "Okay, I'm leaving."

"Oh no, you're not!" Twilight growled, levitating the disguised changeling and having him float behind her as she made her way downtown. "You're going to spend some time with Acari before she and I leave for the Crystal Empire, and then you're going to find all your daughters and spend some time with them. It's been years since you've seen them all! And they are all different ages, you must take advantage of that an—" Twilight stopped talking and walking, her brow wrinkling in a frown. "Wait. If you were working for Celestia all that time and doing missions, how can they all be your daughters? You were in Canterlot most of the time, correct?"

Hidden Tale shrugged. "I visited Chrysalis on my off-time."

"But didn't she order that you should be disposed off when you were posing as a worker?"

"That's just the way she was."

"But you were spying on her!"

"Ponies—and changelings—say a lot of things in b—"

"I don't want to know!" Twilight interrupted. "Fine. You found the time to get busy every time you visited Chrysalis. And now you have daughters that need your attention."

Hidden Tale didn't struggle, but he didn't seem too enthusiastic either. "I fail to see how that is my responsibility given that I was unaware of any progeny of mine until recently."

"Hidden Tale."

"Yes?"

"Do you know what Litmus' Limited Leverage does?"

Hidden Tale raised his eyebrow. "I'm not familiar with three-alliteration spells."

Twilight told him.

"I suppose I could spend some time with my daughters," Hidden Tale conceded.

Sæla glared at the two fillies as they continued to wash the dishes. "Hey, brat," she called, pulling a dish from the drying rack and showing its stained surface to Diamond Tiara. "Does this look clean to you?"

"It's cleaner than before!" the filly growled.

"Well that doesn't mean it's clean!" Sæla retorted, dropping the dish into the soapy water.

"Do you really need to give us that attitude?" Silver Spoon asked tiredly as she placed a clean bowl on the rack. "We're already being punished."

Sæla snorted. "Not nearly enough after that stunt you two pulled." She shook her head. "Not only do you two spend time antagonizing us omnivores and carnivores, what you did could have turned really nasty, really quick."

"It's not our fault that you are uncivilized brutes, willing to eat animal produce!" Diamond Tiara snapped.

"Tiara!" Silver Spoon hissed. "That's—"

"I hate to break it to you, brat, but those cakes and cupcakes and ice cream you like so much? They have animal produce in them." The gryphoness replied icily. "I've seen ponies eat chicken. You all like your milkshakes, which contain... guess what? Milk. Which comes from cows, most of the time, for your information, brat." She shook her head. "And even if you were truly ignorant of those facts, it doesn't excuse what you attempted to do to those poor fillies earlier. I mean, what's your problem, brat?"

"My NAME is Diamond Tiara!"

Sæla looked at her silently for a moment. "And that's your problem?"

"No!"

"Well, then we're not getting anywhere with this conversation, are we?"

Diamond Tiara gritted her teeth furiously as she turned to glare at the soapy water in helpless fury.

"I expect you two to be done soon, so we can all go home and enjoy Nightmare Night," Sæla said, walking out of the kitchen.

"Sæla..." Diamond Tiara hissed. "She'll rue the day she found me! I shall add her to my plans for tonight!"

"Tiara," Silver Spoon said, not looking up from her own dishes.

"What?"

"Shut up."

Spike pondered his next course of action. On the one claw, he knew that Thysa really, really liked him. But he dared not act, just in case Rarity finally confessed her love to him, as star-crossed lovers usually did. Never mind that she had shown no actual interest in a romantic relationship with him, or that she treated him like a really, really young friend, with that sympathetic smile adults sported when trying not to cringe at what their foal or filly had just said. Or the fact that they had little in common other than knowing Twilight and an appreciation of gems. One as culinary ingredients (or munchies) the other as potential glittery material for dress-making. Spike imagined that, in the deepest recesses of her heart, she was somehow aware that she loved him just as much as Thysa did. Maybe. Possibly.

But that was not his problem at this time. His problem was that he had found out that Acari, who was soon to leave with Twilight, had a crush on him. And the poor girl was so shy she had hid it so well he hadn’t even known. But maybe Acari was like Rarity. Maybe the young—although still older than him—changeling was just shy and would not vocalize her feelings due to… something. Or other.

Spike sighed. A handsome, promising, well-educated, gentle-drake like himself with an almost guaranteed future in an important position (in the next 120 years or so when he finally reached dragon maturity), was a prime catch, after all. The Hydra in the Everfree Forest had said so itself, while tossing Spike into the air and opening its maws wide to eat him whole.

Thankfully Twilight had been there and teleported him out of harm’s way. But, if a monster with nine heads was of the opinion that you were choice material, who were you to argue, really?

And that might have been technically battle, or at least lunch, but Spike was sure that the same principles that applied in War would apply with Love.

He pondered that conclusion.

“So… in order to get Rarity I must cut her supply line?” He frowned. “That… doesn’t sound right.” He shook his head. “Focus, Spike! Rarity is not the problem right now. You have to decide what to do with Thysa and Acari!”

He sat down. “Okay, Thysa already told me she likes me. She can transform into a dragon… but then so can Acari. Thysa is closer to my age, but Acari probably has more in common with me about things to talk about… but she’s leaving tonight! I need to make a decision! It’s not fair to all three of them if I’m stringing them along!”

Spike sighed and put his face in his hands. “Why does this have to be so difficult?” He looked out the window at the ponies decorating for Nightmare Night. “And on Nightmare Night of all nights.” He snorted. “I bet it’s an easy night for Changelings to disguise themselves. They’d do it quicker than Rarity, in any case.”

He stared out the window in silence.

Rarity… Thysa… Acari…

Changelings.

Disguises.

Spike blinked. “Wait. Can’t Thysa or Acari turn into Rarity? Maybe even a Rarity my age?” His eyes widened. “Wow. Why didn’t I ever think of that?”

Spike smiled. “I can get what I want in one single pony!? And they both want me, so I’m sure they’d be willing to be Rarity for me since they’re changelings! This is perfect! And I get a dragoness whenever I want, too!”

Spike grinned as he jumped off to the floor. “I’ll have to find Thysa and ask her to be my aged-down Rarity for tonight! Then I can ask Acari when she comes back, to be my Rarity for the days I want her to look normal! They won’t mind, I basically own their hearts!”

“Spike! I’m home!” Twilight called from outside as she magically opened the door and walked in, dragging a pony behind her in her levitation field.

“Oh, hi Twilight! Hi, Hidden!”

“Spike.” Hidden Tale nodded politely from where he floated.

Twilight tilted her head. “Spike, you seem a bit different, did you trim your claws?”

“Huh?” Spike looked down at his claws. “Nope.”

“I think he’s a bit taller,” Hidden Tale quipped. “At least from last week, when I saw him in Canterlot.”

“That might be it,” Spike said, nodding. “I’m a growing dragon after all.”

Twilight frowned. “Have you been taking things for a hoard again?”

Spike shook his head. “Nah, I learned my lesson, Twilight. I’m not taking stuff just for myself.”

Twilight smiled. “Okay then! I need to pack, do you think you could give me a hoof?”

Spike cringed. “Um, I was hoping to do something really quickly, if you don’t mind, Twilight.”

“Oh,” Twilight shrugged. “Okay, Spike!”

“Thanks, Twilight!” Spike called back, already on his way out.

He closed the door behind him and started trotting towards the Crusader’s HQ. “This is going to be the best Nightmare Night ever!”

o.0.o End Chapter 13 o.0.o

Author's Note

There are a few lines—for those of you well-versed in fanfics—that are a direct nod to one of the most amusing writers I've ever had the pleasure to read fics from: Black Dragon6

Coffee for six

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

Chapter 14: Coffee for six

By Wanderer D

“Rarity, you’d better not be choosing a new scarf!” Chrysalis growled.

Rarity stopped rummaging through her bags and glared right back. “For this weather? Are you insane?” She levitated three head-pieces, one with flowers, one with curly lace and one with gems. “No, I am just choosing the right mane decoration for today.” She turned around and faced Chrysalis, holding them next to her. “What do you think? I like the flowers, but maybe the gems go better with our surroundings?”

“I think we’ll be late for breakfast and meeting the queen if you spend enough time deciding to make me molt again.”

"I do not take that long!" Rarity gritted her teeth, but decided to take the gem-studded head-piece. “Fine. If you must be so insistent, we shall go now.”

“Good!” Chrysalis nodded and practically pushed Rarity out the door. “We must make a good impression and we can’t be the last ones in.” She paused. “Unless… we make it sound intentional.”

“Let’s not,” Rarity said. “I wouldn’t want Queen Apocrita to wait too long for us, the poor thing had such a hard time just getting to the table last night.”

Chrysalis snorted. “A sign of weakness. But she played it masterfully with her threat to all of us were any other queen try to murder her.” She shook her head and glanced at Rartiy. “But that gives us more trouble than you might think. Now that there’s no way to strike the queen of the hive down directly, the others will definitely start thinking of ways to get rid of us.”

“But I thought the queen wanted to make her own choice as to who would rule in her stead?”

Chrysalis nodded. “Yes, but it’s easier to choose when there’s only one choice left standing.”

Unlike dinner, breakfast was a more somber affair. All the other parties were silently glancing at each other, calculations in their eyes, and a general feeling of suspense hung over the large banquet table like a shroud.

Queen Dermestid was carefully looking at the plates in front of her, as if she expected them to explode into a changeling-eating monster. Queen Dacus’ eyes kept shifting from one side of the table to the other, either expecting something to happen, or somepony to give away any ill intentions; and finally, Queen Phoenutria simply sat rigidly in place.

Having arrived a bit later than the others, Chrysalis and Rarity took side-by-side seats directly opposite to Queen Apocrita.

“Good morning, you two,” Queen Apocrita acknowledged them, nodding briefly in their direction. “Please, join us for breakfast.”

“Thank you, your highness,” Rarity said with a smile and a short bow. “We would be delighted.” Her eyes turned to the other queens. “And good morning to you, Queens Phoenutria, Dermestid and Dacus! I hope you had a good night’s sleep?”

The replies were noncommittal grunts of acknowledgement for the most part as several changelings marched into the room, levitating plates of warm food and steaming pitchers full of coffee. Queen Phoenutria snatched one from one of the changelings and without preamble drank the whole thing down while Rarity watched in horror.

Finally, she slammed it down in front of her, closing her eyes and wincing for a second before smiling a fanged grin and looking up at the others. “I simply can’t start a day without coffee.”

“Wasn’t that really hot?” Chrysalis asked with just a hint of curiosity. “As in, boiling hot?”

“Yes,” Queen Phoenutria nodded. “Yes it was.”

“Excellent!” Chrysalis said as she and the other Queens raised their pitchers and downed the burning liquid in one long gulp as Rarity could do nothing else but stare.

When they were all done, they glanced at Rarity. “Purity dear," Queen Apocrita spoke up, steam pouring through her nostrils, “Don’t you like coffee?”

“I-I do!” Rarity stammered. “But… that’s—why did you all down a pitcher-full of boiling coffee?!”

“What do you mean?” Chrysalis asked. “Coffee is one of the main ‘exports’ we ‘acquire’ from ponies. We’ve grown to appreciate the effects it has in our bodies.”

Rarity shook her head. “But doesn’t it... burn you on the way down?”

“Well, yes,” Queen Dacus spoke up, her voice hoarse. “But that’s how the ponies drink it, and although the pain is sometimes a bit much, the results can’t be argued with.”

“B-but that’s not how ponies drink coffee!”

There was a moment of silence.

“I… beg your pardon?” Demestrid asked. “Queen Purity, you can’t possibly be implying that we have been burning our throats for no reason?”

“Coffee is supposed to be drank hot, after all.” Phoenutria’s comment made everyone at the table nod sagely, except for a single Queen.

Rarity rubbed her temple gently with a hoof. “You… I believe you might have misunderstood. And before we go anywhere, ponies do drink coffee cold sometimes, it just requires a bit more flair for the taste to be good.”

“Cold coffee?” Phoenutria gasped. “What will those ponies think of next?”

“In any case.” Rarity took a deep breath and glanced at one of the servant changelings. “Dear, would you mind bringing me a cup, some sugar or honey and cream?” When the changeling nodded and left, Rarity sighed. “I remember explaining this to Bon-Bon once… I just didn’t realize it was a cultural misunderstanding. I just thought she was different.”

Later on, all Queens and their entourages were following Queen Apocrita through a long, crystal tunnel. “I’m afraid duty calls so I won’t be able to escort you myself for too long. Once we reach the inner city, you may all go your own ways to explore the Hive. I will assign guides to each of your parties so that any questions you might want answered are resolved in the most satisfactory manner possible.” She gave them all a look. “Some areas are off-limits, and if you really want to go into them, you’ll need to ask me for access.”

The Queens all nodded their understanding as they finally reached the gates that granted access to the city. When they opened, Rarity could barely keep a gasp of delight. The city itself was vastly different from her own Hive, or even Canterlot or Manehattan. The whole cavern appeared to have been carved out of a single titanic crystal, and the structures of the city were all made of the same material, worked with so much detail that it almost put to shame the Crystal Empire.

Windows were made of string-thin crystal webbing; the buildings although made of thick crystal, had been worked on the outside with inlaid designs that created rainbows if the light hit them just right.

“Oh, my.” Rarity approached on the of the buildings and slowly slid her hoof down the delicate designs. “The work that went into this is… it’s magnificent!” Nearby, a changeling that had been observing the queens with some trepidation seemed to swell with pride.

“Hm,” Queen Phoenutria looked around. “The buildings look pretty, but this whole place would crumble in an instant if there was a fight.”

The changeling's puffed chest deflated and it stuck its head inside it's dwelling with a mutter.

Queen Apocrita looked at the group and nodded as four changelings stepped forth. "These are Aculea, Tere, Cera and Chalci," she said, introducing each changeling as they bowed. "Although they usually work at the palace, they know the city and all of my domain well. Each of them will accompany one of your groups and answer any questions you might have." She motioned with her head and the four changelings went to their respective parties.

Rarity smiled at Cera while Chrysalis looked at her with an arched eyebrow. The reactions from the others were a bit different each. Queen Dermestid gave an approving glance at Tere, while Phoenutria sighed and did her best to ignore Aculea and Queen Dacus seemed slightly amused by Chalci.

"Very well," Queen Apocrita said after the parties were set. "Enjoy my hive for the day. I shall see you tonight."

The queens bowed slightly until she had left, and set off immediately without acknowledging each other.

Rarity stood there blinking for a moment, before she turned to her sister and Cera. "Well then! I say we take a look at the city!"

Chrysalis tilted her head. "Shouldn't you look at the lands or the army?"

Rarity giggled. "All in due time, sister. For now, let's take a look around, shall we? I want to see what kind of products they sell! How does their craftsmanship compare to the Crystal Empire's? Do they have SPAs?"

Chrysalis shook her head as she followed her almost-skipping sister deeper into the Hive with a slightly bemused Cera following behind.

Author's Note

Not much happening on this one, but it sets up opportunities for all Queens to mess around and also cause good/bad impressions.

No editing on this one either, so if you see places where corrections are needed, feel free to comment.

I am no saint

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

By Wanderer D

Chapter 15: I'm no saint

Silver Spoon pushed the last dish into place in the rack and shook her head, glaring at Diamond Tiara, who lazily polished a fork while several dozen more soaked in soapy water. "Are you planning on finishing tonight?" she finally asked. "I was planning on actually, you know, dressing up, grabbing a bag, getting candy... that with it being Nightmare Night and all."

Sæla looked down at them from the chair where she was filing her claws. "I also want to go home sometime."

Diamond Tiara growled and threw the clean fork into the container where it belonged before glaring at the other two. "Stop pressuring me! It's not my fault that I have to do this! It's beneath a mare of my calibre!"

Silver Spoon's eyes narrowed. "If you stopped whining, you'd be done by now, Tiara!"

"It's all the Crusaders' fault!" Diamond Tiara cried, petulantly grabbing another fork and starting to polish it. "They should have just—"

"Just what, exactly?" Sæla asked, snorting. "Just sat there and let themselves be verbally abused by others because of a prank you two thought was harmless? We get enough stupidity from self-righteous idiots that don't understand our dietary needs, but it's worse when they pass their idiocy to children and then the children get to insult us! You two are lucky those fillies were not hurt by some stressed-out or overly provoked customer! Sure, they would be arrested, and sure the chances of others letting that happen were slim, but there could have been some real damage done if two of them didn't have a more educated palate."

"Only freaks would eat that stuff!"

"Diamond Tiara!" Silver Spoon snapped. "Can't you learn to shut up even when it's for your own benefit?"

"What do you care?" Diamond Tiara snapped back. "You didn't even want to do this! You were borderline siding with them! Why don't you go become a Crusader then?"

"Maybe I should!" Silver Spoon stood up. "I put up with your negligence, panic attacks, half-cooked plans and constant antagonizing for what? To have to pay every single time for sticking to your side when what you need is somepony to tell your father that you needed spanking while growing up! You're insufferable! I'm done with you!"

Silver Spoon spun around and looked at Sæla, who seemed to be regarding her with some grudging respect. "I finished with my part, can I go now?"

The griffoness snorted, but nodded. "You can go. I'll stay here and watch Tiara finish her job."

"Good," Silver Spoon replied, glancing at the staring filly. "At least one adult is willing to put her through a complete punishment." And with that, she trotted out of the kitchen.

Immediately Diamond Tiara threw the fork aside and tried to gallop after her friend, but Sæla was far quicker and blocked the exit, opening her wings instinctively and puffing her chest while she glared down at the filly. "No. You are finishing your job tonight, young filly."

"You can't do this to me, you overstuffed turkey!" Diamond Tiara cried. "My daddy—"

"Is fully aware of what you did and personally told me he'd compensate me with additional money to make sure that you finished your punishment." Sæla's glare didn't diminish. "If you were half as good at cleaning cutlery as you are at alienating others, you would have been done hours ago!"

"But it's not fair!"

Sæla didn't move an inch, and soon Diamond Tiara was back, sniffling in frustration as she polished more forks.

"Kid," Sæla growled. "From what I have seen, this is the first time in your life fairness has had anything to do with you."

Silver Spoon closed the restaurant's door behind her, doing her best to not slam it. The last thing she needed was to loosen it from its hinges and have to stay even longer to fix it. Already Ponyville was finishing decorating for Nightmare Night. It was pretty late in the afternoon, and the festivities would begin in a few more hours.

She started walking down the road towards her house, still feeling agitated and angry at just how selfish Diamond Tiara was.

"You finally made it out," a voice said, making her start.

Silver Spoon looked up at a small pegasus who was flying down towards her from a nearby rooftop. "Thysa," she greeted unenthusiastically. "I'm not in the mood."

Thysa shrugged, walking next to her. "I'll just walk with you, then."

Rolling her eyes, Silver Spoon continued down the road, trying her best to ignore the changeling.

Thysa, for her part, seemed content to simply trot along, sometimes letting her eyes wander over to the decorations that were being put up, but for the most part paying enough attention to follow Silver Spoon's lead.

"I didn't want to do anything to you girls," Silver Spoon finally said, not looking at her companion. "It was all Diamond Tiara's idea."

Thysa was quiet for a little bit. "But you didn't stop her."

Silver Spoon was about to argue that she had tried, but bit back her response. Complaining wasn't really trying. Truth be told, a little part of herself had wanted to see what would happen, even if a bigger part had not wanted to do anything with it.

"No," she finally acknowledged. "I didn't."

"It was pretty bad there, for a little while," Thysa said. "Everypony keeps saying we were safe, but I could read some of the feelings of the patrons... a lot of them were very frustrated and angry. If Sweetie Belle hadn't eaten those Fruit Bats with me... I think if only one of us had eaten, it could have turned out differently. You can't keep insulting people for trivial things like diet or preferences just because you don't like what they do."

Silver Spoon grimaced. "I can't believe she forced herself to eat them. No offense to you or any other omnivores or carnivores, but 'bat' doesn't sound like something you should be eating."

Thysa shrugged. "My aunty is strange, for a pony."

Silver Spoon almost fell when she stumbled. "Your aunt-is she also a—"

"Nah," Thysa shook her head. "It's a complicated story. She might tell it to you someday, if you want to be their friend."

Silver Spoon snorted. "Why would they even want that?" They had reached the entrance to her home, so she stopped and turned to face Thysa. "I told you before: I'm no saint. I enjoy the thrill of getting away with things I shouldn't. With being mean and the feeling of being on top of a situation while others struggle."

"And yet, you seem to have more respect and willingness to not only accept the consequences, but also to try and not go overboard," Thysa replied.

"That's hardly enough to make up for the rest."

"But it's a start, if you want to make something of it."

"And what?" Silver Spoon scoffed. "Be the 'bad' crusader? Make them feel like they have to fight me at every turn to not do something mean to others?"

"You don't have to be mean to feel fulfilled," Thysa said. "That feeling you get out of it, it's not dependant on exclusively being mean."

"So I have to change everything I am to fit with a group of nice fillies?" Silver Spoon asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sometimes change isn't a bad thing, you know?" Thysa said. "I would know... it saved my life."

Silver Spoon's other eyebrow rose. "How so?"

"It stopped my family from killing each other."

Silver Spoon cringed, but shook her head. "There's change and then there's change, Thysa. I've lived most of my life being like this. It's all I know, and quite frankly all I want to be right now."

"They are willing to be your friend, you know."

"Yes because they think I'm the victim and Diamond Tiara dominates me." Silver Spoon turned to look past the gates at her home. "She does neither. And I'm honestly tired of her idiocy. She keeps getting us in trouble, for the lamest things."

"Seems to me you really need new friends."

"It seems to me you're butting in when you shouldn't, Thysa."

The changeling-turned-pegasus seemed like she was going to say something, but visibly chose to change the subject. "So what are you going to wear for Nightmare Night?"

Silver Spoon pursed her lips in thought before sighing and opening the gate. "Want to see? You might find it a little funny."

Thysa grinned. "I'd love to!"

They both walked in, closing the door behind them, not noticing the purple dragon that had done a double-take the moment he had seen them together.

"Well," Spike said. "That's an interesting development!"

Author's Note

Dun DUN DUUUUUUUUUN!

Like Reading a Book

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

Chapter 16: Like Reading a Book

By Wanderer D

Rarity tried to keep her composure while watching a neighboring table of changelings down boiling-hot tea in one gulp, smacking their lips placidly as their chitin glowed red and steam emanated from their nostrils. She had, however, stopped educating the changelings on tea etiquette for now, and was content to try and ignore the undoubtedly painful experience while simply nursing and sipping her tea.

Across from her, Chrysalis sighed and pushed away her empty cup. She had done much better than that morning, enjoying the complex flavors of her tea before finishing it still a bit too quickly for Rarity, but well within reasonable cooling time.

"Purity," Chrysalis growled. "We've been in town for five hours now. You've visited changeling dwellings, art houses and the market..."

"Yes," Rarity agreed. "And wouldn't you say this crystal silk is absolutely divine?" She giggled, lifting it for Chrysalis and Cera to appreciate. "Imagine the designs I can create with it!"

"Well, yes," Chrysalis growled. "I'm sure you can create very nice dresses with it... since you'll be nothing but a designer!" She slammed her hoof down on the table, drawing the attention of a few changelings until the guards around them glared them away.

"Why, what do you mean, darling?"

"I mean that we've been wasting our time in the city doing nothing, nothing while all the other Queens are busy learning the important things!"

"Well, while I wouldn't consider myself an expert—"

"That's good," Chrysalis interrupted, eyes narrowing. "Because you are the exact opposite!"

"...I wouldn't say that we have learned nothing at all," Rarity continued, undeterred. "There is much to learn from what we've been doing today, sister."

"Ha!" Chrysalis growled. "Such as what? What teas they serve?"

Rarity smiled. "In part, yes," she said before taking another sip.

"What about military might?" Chrysalis whispered a bit harshly. "We have no idea how strong this kingdom is!"

"Well, the Queen did say that it would put a Hive roughly half the size of yours on equal terms with yours, right? Therefore the military might of this kingdom is about half of yours." Rarity took a bite of a little cookie that was next to the exquisitely decorated cup, humming appreciatively at the vanilla taste of it. "Plus, I'm sure that while Queen Phoenutria will have plenty to say about it, it's the least important of the things we have to learn about."

"Oh, and what else is left?" Chrysalis asked. "And don't give me that look, I know exactly the information we need to find out, I just want to know if you actually have any clue at all."

"Cera dear," Rarity spoke up. "Please read the list I dictated to you to my sister."

Cera shifted, wincing slightly under Chrysalis' glare. "Um, yes, your highness... you wanted to find out about: Boutiques, SPAs, Spy Networks, Chic restaurants, Boutiques, Natural Resources, Tea Houses, Art Houses, Boutiques an—"

"You listed 'Boutiques' three times?" Chrysalis hissed.

Cera cringed. "Um... six times total, your highness."

"At least you listed some important ones that the other, more experienced than you, Queens are researching!" Chrysalis snapped.

Rarity smiled. "You think they also looked at the SPAs and Boutiques and Bathhouses?"

Chrysalis bowed her head and grumbled something that Rarity pretended not to hear. "What natural resources? Or are we going to let Dacus tell us that? I guess their Spy Network is not important either?" Chrysalis muttered sarcastically. "Sure, we'll just ask Dermestid what she saw. I'm sure she'll tell us aaall about it." She growled and stuffed several cookies into her mouth, chewing them down angrily.

"Don't be silly dear," Rarity admonished Chrysalis and levitated a napkin to clean Chrysalis' lips. "I already figured all of that out."

It took a moment for the words to process.

"You what."

Rarity smiled. "If you want to start with the military might of this Hive, besides the statement of the Queen, you simply have to look around, dear sister. The buildings are in good state, the streets clean, the changelings comfortable and safe... unlike ponies, changelings are always aware of empathic discontent... if there were serious issues with the military the other changelings would be much more guarded... a little like in our own Hive. This reflects a society that is secure in the knowledge that their military is united, up to the task and efficient."

"You're joking," Chrysalis said after a moment of staring. "You have to be joking, how in the name of the Hive could you have figured all of that out?"

Rarity beamed. "I thought you would never ask!" She motioned with her hoof to the market. "While we were shopping, I observed that they had several pieces of furniture made of pine, and they even have a booming carpentry market, which suggests that they have woods nearby, possibly even over the Hive itself, another indicator was that most of the fruits they offered were berries of some sort, a bit expensive which suggests harvesting in the woods rather than planting them themselves. The regular mushrooms were available in larger amounts and much cheaper so the access to water and and fertile earth for underground planting speaks of large caverns full of underworld produce," she explained.

Chrysalis blinked.

"I also noticed several smaller areas that sold more of the usual pony-fare, from coffee to muffins to decorations, such as drapes from Bitaly, crystal snacks that I've seen before in the Crystal Empire, silks and jewelry from Canterlot, two crates of Sweet Apple Acres Cider in Ponyville, cloud scents from Cloudsdale, plenty of cherries from Dodge Junction and I daresay, if my memory serves me correctly some cheese provided by the Buffalo near Appleloosa, not to mention the more exotic products from Ammassalik and other griffon territories," Rarity glanced at Cera. "My guess from that is that the spy network is strongest in Bitaly, the Crystal Empire, Ponyville, Cloudsdale, Dodge Junction, Appleloosa and Ammassalik, am I correct?"

"I-I—" Cera slid back her seat and stood up, glancing a bit wildly at both Queens. "Look at the time! I-I think I should go, it's about time for me to rep-um to retire for the day since... break and... secrets and sensitive information. Um. Excuse me." And with that, Cera turned around and quickly left them alone.

Chrysalis shook her head in amazement. "How did you even... I mean, it makes sense but..."

Rarity smirked, finishing her tea and standing up. "My beloved sister, I'm a businesspony," she grinned. "And a designer! My talent is to find hidden gems, metaphorically and literally. Did you really think I wouldn't notice these things?"

Queen Apocrita had set up the royal table once more, brimming with foods from all hives. Unlike the previous time, the foods had been left in the center of the banquet table for all of them to pick whatever they chose.

She watched in amusement as all the Queens stuffed their plates with several dishes from the other Hives as well as their own, Phoenutria imitating Dermestid's technique while cracking one of the eggs. She chuckled and looked down the table at the rest of the Queens.

"I hope all of you had a nice, educational day in my Hive," she said once all present had filled their plates.

There were murmurs of consent from the others and she nodded. "Please tell me where you went."

Queen Phoenutria, spoke first, "I studied your military might, Queen Apocrita, from your training grounds to talking with some of the forwards scouts."

"I hope my troops were what you expected them to be?"

The muscular queen nodded, grinning. "They were."

"And Queen Dermestid?"

Looking up from her meal, the Queen in question smiled. "Why, I interviewed those that are closest to my own interests of course!"

Queen Apocrita smiled pleasantly. "I hope the Spy Network was to your liking?"

"A most intriguing group," the lanky Queen answered. "I was unable to glean much information out of my visit, with it being out of bounds, but they seem very capable."

"And Queen Dacus?" Queen Apocrita asked. "Tell us about your area of interest."

Queen Dacus grinned. "A kingdom is nothing without the natural resources to sustain it."

Apocrita nodded. "And were the lands of my Hive sufficient?"

"Oh, they were," Queen Dacus said immediately. "There is so much to say about your underground farms and the lands above the hive!"

Queen Apocrita nodded with her perennial smile steady in her face. "This is very good, I am glad you all found out as much information as you wanted about my Hive," she said, returning to her meal.

The others waited for a moment, unsure of what to say. Finally, Phoenutria spoke up. "Excuse me, Queen Apocrita, but aren't you going to ask Queen Chrysalis and Queen Purity what they found out?"

Queen Apocrita shrugged and grinned. "There is no point dear, they figured out my trade routes, military status, main spy hubs and most of the natural resources over tea."

It was several hours after dinner, and most of the guests were asleep when two shadows met.

"This is not possible, we can't allow Chrysalis' Hive to grow even more!" one hissed. "She could take us down if she takes this Hive!"

The other shadow seemed more calm as it leaned forward. "I believe she intends for her sister to have this Hive."

"Purity can't control a Hive," the other retorted. "She's... she's too nice. Too naive and generous. Chrysalis clearly wants to use her if she wins the Hive. She'll simply be a puppet ruler, while Chrysalis reigns from the shadows."

"To think that Chrysalis would figure all of that information out from the city alone..." the other shadow agreed. "She's a dangerous enemy."

"We must act... but how?"

They both settled into silence as their thoughts spun plans upon plans.

Until finally...

"I think I have an idea, but we need to trick the others as well. I know you don't want Chrysalis to have this Hive, but Queen Apocrita and Que—"

"Yes. I know. We'll make sure they have no idea," the other shadow said. "What's your plan?"

And as the two shadows conspired, a third shadow listened unnoticed.

Author's Note

Can you be too smart for your own good? Maybe.

Also, the usual lack of edits. Go me.

Planning

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge
Chapter 17: Planning
By Wanderer D

Acari walked through the market, making sure to think about possible things she might need for her trip to the Crystal Empire. While most of her stuff was ready and awaiting at Twilight’s Library, she wanted to make sure she made a good impression, after all, her mother had made a less-than-stellar one already.

Truth be told, she was nervous about the whole deal. She was going to be leaving soon to meet the Princess that her mother replaced, imprisoned and left to rot while she gallivanted around with Shining Armor. Or as Chrysalis liked to call him; “He of the Puppy Eyes”.

She hovered near a stall full of well-wishing knick-knacks. Maybe a card? That would be nice, right? Something that said: “I’m sorry my mom starved you in a crystal cavern for several days and had some very intense nights with your fiance, but let’s be friends!”

She sighed. “There’s no way I’m going to be able to fix this situation.”

Her thoughts were interrupted by another pony stepping next to her and frowning at the cards.

“Can I help you sir?” The vendor asked, looking up when the new pony approached closer.

“Um, yes. Do you have a card that says something along the lines of: “‘I’m sorry I had to leave instead of getting executed, but now I’m back and I want to be your dad?’”

The pony had raised a hoof to make a recommendation, but lowered it down, gaping at the pony. “Say what?”

Acari observed the newcomer as he shuffled uncomfortably.

“I’m not used to getting cards,” he finally explained to the salespony.

“Ah,” the salespony looked back at the cards on his stall. “I have uh… ‘I’m sorry I missed the best years of your life, but I’m back now!’ cards?”

“Aha! Excellent,” the brown pony said. “I’ll need four of them, please.”

“Four?” the salespony asked as he fished them out. “You’ll have to make up for a lot of missed memories and birthdays, sir, if you don’t mind my blunt honesty.”

“I know,” the pony said, “But there is no alternative.” He shuddered. “None.”

Acari tilted her head, looking at the book with a question mark cutie mark the brown pony had, and it reminded her of something Twilight had mentioned before. Slowly her eyes widened. “Wait…” she spoke up, drawing the attention of the two ponies as the cards were being paid for. “Are… are you Hidden Tale?”

Hidden Tale tensed as he studied the young mare in front of him. Slowly little details were revealed to his experienced eyes. Little flickers, inconsistency with the horn size by a few quarters of an inch. This was a changeling. But…“Um… that’s correct… and you must be… judging from your apparent age and proficiency… Acari?”

“Daddy!” Acari shouted in glee, throwing her forelegs around his neck. “You made it! I thought I’d be gone before you came here! I’m so glad you came,” she said, sniffing. “I don’t know what to say.”

Hidden Tale gave her one of the cards.

“So we have an accord?” Arachne asked Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.

“This. Sounds. Awesome!” Rainbow Dash gleefully exclaimed. “I’m sooo in!”

Pinkie’s smile was so big that if she had opened her mouth, Arachne would have expected her head to split in half. However, it sadly returned to a more normal size before Pinkie started talking.

“I’m in!” Pinkie Pie shouted bouncing up and down. “This is going to be the best Nightmare Night in the history of ever!”

“It is agreed then.” Arachne grinned before she grimaced and muttered darkly, “I have to go back to the shop, but I think I can get started on my part while I make other sweets.”

“Oh! Oh! I should go to Sugarcube Corner and get started too!” Pinky Pie bounced excitedly before shooting off. “See you girls soon!”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “I’ll go get my stuff too,” she said with a grin of her own. “This is a great idea, Arachne!”

“I know,” Arachne replied, rearing back and posing in all her royal glory foreleg extended as she gazed into the horizon. “A plan fit for a queen!”

“The Queen of Community Service,” Rainbow Dash countered.

Arachne slumped, grumbling a bit while Rainbow Dash laughed. “Laugh it up, turkey!” She growled. “Just remember your part of the plan!”

“Oh yeah,” Rainbow Dash waved her hoof lazily. “Don’t worry, I got it! See you tonight!” And with that she shot into the sky.

Nodding to herself, Arachne headed back to Bon Bon’s shop. There was much work to do.

“She’s coming!”

Fluttershy blinked. “W-who’s coming?”

“Carrot Top!” Phasmi squeaked, bursting into flames and taking her earth pony shape. “She’s coming! I saw her on the road here from your window!”

“I see…” Fluttershy rubbed her hoof on her foreleg. “Are you sure you want to do this, Phasmi? I mean… not that I think you shouldn’t! Only... it’s a bit early for a relationship, don’t you think? N-not that there’s a specific age requirement for it but... a-and what will you do if she finds out you’re a changeling?”

Phasmi paused. “I wonder…”

“Yes?”

“Is she into Bitalian? I like Bitalian!”

Fluttershy resisted the urge to groan.

“Oh, don’t get your feathers in a twist Fluttershy,” Phasmi said, smiling at her friend and mentor. “I’ll be fine and I’ll be careful.”

“Well, it’s just that Carrot Top can get very attached.”

“Oh? I’ll make sure she knows I’m not interested in a serious relati—”

“No, I mean really attached,” Fluttershy interrupted. “She’s been known to go to…um… extremes if she doesn’t feel like letting go.” She cleared her throat. “And she usually doesn’t.”

Phasmi chuckled. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be that bad, right? I mean, worst case, I’ll just transform into a pegasi next time. No more Ghost Leaf. She went off to… Bitaly! What’s she going to do? Start a riot? Set the town in flames? Of course not!” She waved her hoof dismissively.

“…”

“Fluttershy?”

It was then that she heard the knocking on the door. “She’s here!” She checked her fake mane on the mirror one last time before running to stand in front of Fluttershy. “How do I look?”

“Um… fine bu—”

“Great!” Phasmi gave Fluttershy a hug and trotted out of the house, closing the door behind her. “Hi Carrot!”

Fluttershy could hear the pair giggling outside before the sound faded as the pair took off.

“Oh my. Angel,” Fluttershy whispered. “I hope things go okay and Carrot Top doesn’t get any ideas.”

Angel shrugged, then made smashing motions with his little paws.

“I-I guess I should tell Twilight we might need to put the fire department on alert…”

Angel crossed his arms.

“A-and the Royal Guard…”

Angel raised an eyebrow.

“Angel, I don’t really think—”

Angel interrupted her by tapping his foot on the table angrily.

Fluttershy cringed. “Okay, Angel, you win. I’ll also let her Sponsor know.

Angel nodded and hopped off, leaving Fluttershy with a worried frown. “I hope it’s not such a horrible Nightmare Night this year…”

Author's Note

Carrot Top? More like Psycho Top! (Maybe.) Sorry for the short chapter.

Relationships Change

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge
By Wanderer D
Chapter 18: Relationships Change

"Ugh! I feel like it took me five months and twenty days just to finish those stupid dishes!"

The only reason Diamond Tiara didn't slam the doors of the restaurant behind her was because she knew, just knew they would make her fix them, or even make her build brand new ones with her own hooves.

"This is so, totally unfair." She looked around, blinking at the fading light. Already some of the decorations were lighting up, but she couldn't see the pony she was looking for. "Where's Silver Spoon?"

She didn't receive a reply, however and after waiting for another fifteen seconds, she huffed and started marching back home. "Ungrateful, clueless, faithless little minion!" she grumbled, pushing Featherweight—who was just passing by—out of the way. "She should have been there! Waiting for me and ready to grovel and beg forgiveness!"

Diamond Tiara shook her head in disbelief. "I can't even believe she would do this to me! Silver Spoon doesn't have the guts to do that! Even if she said she was abandoning me, we both know she's nothing but my minion." She smirked. "She must be confused and fearful now. Maybe she ran home, crying because she had dared snap at me."

Pausing her stroll, she looked over her shoulder at the street that would take her to Silver Spoon's house. Her mouth formed a sneer. "And she should be crying. Who does she think she is to talk to Diamond Tiara like she did?!"

She started walking again, this time in the direction of Silver Spoon's home. "I can just imagine the wreck she is now." Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Holding onto her costume, looking in the mirror and knowing she is guilty of betraying me!" A surprisingly guttural growl emanated from Diamond Tiara. "Nopony betrays Diamond Tiara. Nopony! I will make her crawl for a week before I even tell her anything other than simple orders."

Unconsciously Diamond Tiara tilted her head back, turning her nose up as she imagined her minion groveling at her hooves. "But of course I will not forgive her that easily. Oh no. That will just get me talking to her a bit more. No, if she wants our friendship back, she will have to help me realize my revenge against the crusaders." She chuckled, her smile curling up on one side of her face.

The smile faded and turned into a grimace of hatred seventeen steps later. "And not only the crusaders! I shall have my revenge on every single customer of that idiotic omnivore restaurant! And the waitress! No gryphon treats Diamond Tiara like a servant!" she spat the last word like an insult.

She continued walking, ignoring everypony as her anger boiled, the thought of Silver Spoon with a studded diamond collar around her neck and a glittering silver chain that she, Diamond Tiara, would use to control her eventually making her smile.

"Yesss," she hissed. "And then, when Silver Spoon is faithful again, I shall rule Ponyville with her at my hooves, ready to do my bidding! She will bring my tea and brush my mane and laugh at my genius jokes."

She started giggling, then chuckling, then had to stop as full-blown megalomaniac laughter burst out of her, making more than one pony on the street stop and stare before quickly shuffling away. Eventually, the laughter subsided to a chuckle, and she continued on her way, until she stood at the entrance to Silver Spoon's frontyard.

"And now," she sneered. "To listen to her beg."

She approached the door, ready to ring the bell, when a strange sound stopped her. Diamond Tiara blinked, and shook her head, glancing behind her to make sure there were not Nightmare Night candy-beggars on the street. But it was too early, and most ponies would be downtown anyway.

Shrugging, she lifted her hoof to ring the bell again, when the strange sound stopped her again.

"Is that... coming from inside Silver Spoon's home?" Diamond Tiara wondered. She walked around the house until she reached a window, and glancing around once more, to make sure nopony was watching her, she peeked inside.

Silver Spoon was sprawled on the floor, laughing, while that pegasus friend of the crusaders posed in an utterly ridiculous Sapphire Shores costume.

The other pony became irrelevant when several things washed over Diamond Tiara like a bucket of freezing cold water.

Silver Spoon was laughing.

She wasn't crying.

She wasn't miserable and repentant.

She wasn't even thinking about Diamond Tiara.

“Sir!” the guard barked, saluting. “We have moved two tons worth of ale, sixteen long tables infused with fire-protection spells along with enough chairs made of iron to the dungeons as well as secured the assistance of a few citizens from Ammassalik who have offered to prepare an omnivore meal with a more carnivore tendency for our winged guests.”

Shining Armor nodded, looking over the list. “About the games that they played with slaves…” he trailed off.

The guard shifted uncomfortably. “The Crystal Ponies have refused to talk much about them other than mentioning that they were… intense. Oddly enough, a few Crystal Ponies have offered to be slaves again for the night.”

“They have, have they?” Shining Armor pondered before shaking his head. “Of course not! There are no slaves in the Crystal Empire anymore! The Balrogs will have to make do without them.”

The guard shrugged and put down a thick scroll on Shining Armor’s desk. “In case you change your mind, your highness, that’s the list of volunteers.”

Shining Armor’s eyebrow twitched. “That’s a pretty big list.”

“It is,” the guard agreed. “I’m sorry to say, sir, that I am uncomfortable with how the Crystal Ponies have been so excited about this visit. Especially going to the extent of offering to be ‘slaves’ for the day.”

“You and me both, soldier,” Shining Armor acknowledged. “But even if they are offering to pretend, I cannot in good conscience allow them to play the role, especially after what they suffered under Sombra. Having them do this… it’s not right.”

The guard shifted. “Even if they want to?”

“Even if they want to.” Shining Armor nodded with an uncomfortable grimace. “If they want to help that’s fine, but we put a stop to that when we defeated Sombra. As far as I’m concerned, there will be no more slaves in this Empire and the history of why that’s the case shall be remembered by everypony.”

“Understood, sir!”

"Sir!" A pegasus guard barged in. "The Princess has asked me to inform you that the deer delegation has been spotted a few hours away from the Crystal Empire!"

"What?!" Shining twirled around, staring with a clearly distressed look in his eyes. "That's a day early! What are they doing here?!"

"I'm not sure, my lord!" the soldier replied hurriedly. "But Princess Cadance wants you to join her to meet them..." He cleared his throat, "And she very specifically said that if they caught any whiff of the Balrog's visit, you would be sleeping in the sofa for the foreseeable future."

"But- that sofa's made of crystal," Shining muttered in horror. He looked at the troops assisting him. "Stallions, I must join the Princess. Make absolutely sure that all the food for the Balrogs and all the additional entertainment is transported without the deer noticing it!"

"Mistress, Prince Armor is on his way," Quartz Quill said. "Is there anything else you might need before he gets here, my precious one?"

Cadance's eyebrow shot up. "I'm sorry?"

"Yes?"

Cadance shook her head. "What did you just call me?"

"Exalted one."

"That did not sound like 'exalted' to me."

Quartz Quill leaned forward, a look of concern crossing her eyes. "Would you like me to rub your head, Mistress? Perhaps that pounding headache from earlier has returned?"

Cadance raised a hoof. "No. It's fine. I'm done with the earlier problem. We now must figure out what to do with the deer and the balrogs. They're both arriving basically at the same time."

"Oh!" Quartz Quill smiled. "The balrogs are coming after all? That's perfect! Can I add my name to the slave list?"

"The what list?!"

The door to Cadance's and Shining Armor's chambers opened, and Shining stepped in. "You called dear?"

Quartz Quill giggled as she trotted out. "I'll go right now and add my name!"

She closed the door behind her, leaving a bewildered pair behind.

"What was that about?" Shining Armor asked, blinking.

"I have no idea."

Lord Bloodborn Aleguzzler's fanged smile grew as his Lieutenant, Blackjaw Gutchaser, flew back to his group, black wings of smoke trailing behind him.

"Report!"

"My lord!" Blackjaw growled, landing heavily onto his knee, fist pressing on the ground and head lowered. "I spied a group of Deer, lead by none other than Cúthalion Autumleaves approaching the Crystal Empire. They should be there within an hour or two."

Bloodborn's smile did not falter. "Is that so?" He laughed, looking over his shoulder at the thirty-odd Balrogs he had brought with him. "Did you hear that, boys? There's Deer at the Empire tonight!"

Several cheers and laughs rose from the group as Bloodborn grinned at his Lieutenant. "We'll have to calculate this carefully. We don't want to arrive before them after all."

Blackjaw glanced at his king. "But won't the new Emperor and Empress frown at such a display?"

"Ha!" Bloodborn shook his head, clawed hand heavily patting his Lieutenant's shoulder. "This new Emperor Shining Armor extended the invitation to us as well as the Deer. It's a sign, Blackjaw. This Emperor understands."

Bloodborn uncoiled his flaming whip from around his shoulders and chest, snapping it into the the crisp, night air. "Get ready, boys! We are having fun tonight!"

o.0.o

"Tonight we dine on ponies!"

The Pack of the North howled into the night as their Alpha paced on the top of a jagged boulder, several times their size.

"These Crystal Ponies disappear for one thousand years! And when they return, they magically stop us from hunting the grounds, and yet allow prey to cross their borders unopposed! They expect this land to belong to them! IT BELONGS TO US!"

Howls and growls and barks followed his declaration and he rose his head to howl, drowning the voices of the others in his own, powerful presence.

"We will break their will! We will terrorize them! We have legends from our forefathers! We know the Crystal Ponies are nothing but cowards! They do not posses our claws and fangs, our thick coats and stamina and rage!"

With amazing dexterity, he jumped down from the boulder, bouncing twice before landing in front of his pack.

"Follow me!"

The room was dark, but she didn't care.

"Eheeheheeee."

She shuffled, bumping on the side of her bed, before falling face-first on the box she was looking for, but Diamond Tiara had better things to worry about than a bruise. She turned on her flashlight and started rummaging through the box.

"Laughing." She giggled and snorted. "She was laughing while I was doing dishes!"

Her giggles turned into chuckles and her eyes twitched. "She won't be laughing for long, oh no she won't. Will she, my precious?"

"Um... can I go now?" Featherweight asked, faintly struggling to loosen up the rope that tied him to Diamond Tiara's bedpost. "I really don't like where this is going."

"Oh, hush now, Silver Spoon!" Diamond Tiara giggled. "We need to destroy that fake you, after all!"

"I'm not Silver Spoon..." Featherweight whimpered.

"Don't worry, Silver Spoon," Diamond Tiara giggled, pulling out a pearl necklace. "We'll get you all ready, and then exact our revenge!"

Featherweight whimpered again.

Author's Note

So... it took a while?

Redacted

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge
By Wanderer D
Chapter 19: Redacted

Acari and Hidden Tale had decided to sit down to talk at one of the local restaurants.

Acari watched with a mixture of concern and amusement as Hidden Tale tried his best to write something on the three remaining cards.

All she really know about Hidden Tale were snippets of conversation with her mother: He was a spy for Celestia, who had betrayed the Hive to serve another master. That he was also a charmer, and could deal with unexpected attempts on his life, which her mom insisted were important in a relationship of any sort.

"So, who are you writing that one for?"

"Your sister, Arachne," Hidden Tale said, putting down his quill to stare critically at the card before turning it and sliding it across the table to her. "What do you think?"

Acari blinked as she stared at the card.

I believe I impregnated your mother with your egg during my mission to check the [REDACTED] for your Mother's Hive.
I infiltrated it through the use of [REDACTED] which I used on most of the kitchen staff. Your grandmother was a very thorough changeling, and prone to random acts of violence on lowly changelings, so I had to be careful not to be noticed immediately.
Your mother, however, saw me when I used my [REDACTED] to enter the Dungeon. She was very interested in my [REDACTED] which she said was of unusual size. Of course I did not want her to get too close to my [REDACTED] since she was salivating already, and tried to convince her that I worked there, showing her instead my [REDACTED] to derail her attention, but her interest in my [REDACTED] would not be quenched. She insisted and took my [REDACTED] in her hooves despite my protests—

Acari slowly put down the card. "Well. I understand you want to reconnect with us, but this might be too much information."

Hidden Tale blinked, then frowned, taking the card and looking at it intently. "Too much? Did I fail to censor anything that exposed state secrets?"

"No. That's not… that's really not what I mean."

Hidden Tale grimaced and closed the card. "Are cards not supposed to update others on relevant events?"

Acari sighed. "In a way, but usually they're kept short and to the point. If you really want a long conversation with any of us, you shouldn't write it down on a card. Especially that kind of conversation. I'm not sure Arachne would want to know those details. I know I wouldn't, and I certainly wouldn't allow Thysa to read it."

"That's why I censored them."

"No… I think, if anything, the censorship made them worse."

They stared in silence at each other for almost a few minutes. Hidden Tale sighed. "I'm not sure how to address this. When I am on a mission, things are simpler: I just say or do the things the creature I'm impersonating would do or say."

"You know that's a very common problem for changelings, right?" Acari said after some thought. "Living in somepony else's hooves and not on their own for years sometimes… it affects who you are even if you don't want it to."

"I guess that would explain why Chrysalis is now fond of singing."

Acari decided not to mention that to Princess Cadance when she met her.

They went quiet again, with Hidden Tale evidently making an effort to think of something to say. It was hard to think of the capable spy that had infiltrated the Hive on multiple occasions and even helped save Twilight Sparkle with this self-conscious, uncomfortable individual.

"So," Acari said, clearing her throat. "Thysa is interested in dating Spike."

Hidden Tale looked up. "Why?"

"What do you mean, why? She likes him!"

"He's a good drake, but terribly immature and possessing a decidedly unhealthy sense of entitlement. His psychological profile indicates that he is unable to let go of his one-sided crush on Lady Purity. He has no inkling as to what it means to be a dragon, and it's just a matter of time before he snaps, his instincts kick in, and he overhoards himself into a mindless beast."

"That is terribly harsh and unfair."

"It's not untrue," Hidden Tale said, shrugging. "I'm sure he'll be fine eventually, but unless he somehow gets some sense smacked into him, he's going to break Thysa's heart."

Acari looked at him expectantly. "So you're going to…"

Hidden Tale tilted his head. "...going to what?"

Acari closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay. Let's get the facts down. Spike is by no means perfect, but we can agree that he's at his core, a decent and good dragon, right?"

Hidden Tale hesitated.

"Right?"

"Maybe. You can never be sure."

"Good enough. Now, Thysa… my sister. Your daughter, wants to date him, and he so far seems at least interested."

Hidden Tale frowned. "He is? My informants told me that he is at best ambivalent and ignoring her advances almost as proficiently as Lady Purity ignores his. The difference being that he might not be aware he's doing it."

"And you don't see a problem with him stringing along your daughter?"

"I sincerely doubt there's malicious intent there."

"By the Great Boot," Acari groaned. "You're Thysa's father! You should talk to her and Spike! Don't you care that both will probably get emotionally damaged from this?"

"It's hardly something uncommon…" Hidden Tale hesitated at the look he was getting. "...but I suppose it would befit my status as a parent to address the issue."

"Dad." Acari sighed. "I'm leaving within an hour to go to the Crystal Kingdom. Tell me honestly… do you care about us?"

Hidden Tale straightened, eyes wide. He opened his mouth to answer once, then gulped.

Acari sighed, then pushed back her chair to get up.

"Y-yes."

She paused, blinking. She raised her eyes to look at Hidden Tale, who grimaced uncomfortably. "What?"

"I said… yes." He took in a shuddering breath. "Yes," he repeated, as if tasting the word. "Yes, I do care. I just… don't know how to deal with it. Up until now I had been keeping tabs on all of you as little more than notes on paper, or the occasional interaction while on duty and undercover… I never thought I would sit down with any of you to talk about… well, you. And I. And Chrysalis. And… and family."

Acari smiled. "That is what I needed to hear." She sat down again. "Dad… we need time to get to know each other, but what matters right now is that you show each one of us that you care. We can hash out details later, but that is a good first step. Phasmi, Arachne and Thysa all need to know that you'll be here for us."

At that moment the tower bell rang and Acari sighed, giving her dad a small smile. "Walk me to the train station?"

Hidden Tale smiled back, nodding gently. "Of course. And expect to see me soon there. I'll be visiting."

Acari's smile widened. "I'll look forward to it!"

Subversions

The Three Sisters: Like Fudge
By Wanderer D
Chapter 20: Subversions

Shining Armor marched next to his wife at the front of the army, but his attention wasn't on the road that would take them to the intersection where the Balrogs and the Deer would meet. No. It was instead focused on a single changeling, who currently was pretending to be a pony.

Green Darner had the same goofy smile that had carried him through impersonating Shining Armor, inviting hostile parties for dinner, potentially starting another war, being choked by Shining Armor himself, threatened by Princess Cadence, and other incidents. All within the last twenty four hours. Oh, and he had sent Flash Sentry to his death. That was another thing to add to the list, which left Shining conflicted.

'On the one hoof, he was a young, promising officer under my command…' Shining Armor reasoned as they marched. 'On the other, Flash has been trying to hit on my sister and she caught him once in her room, not only going through the panties Sunset Shimmer had gifted her, but also apparently he had tried them out and stretched them beyond any help. Which is inexcusable for any soldier! Especially those under my command! Despicable! Unforgivable!'

"What the hay are panties anyway?" he muttered.

"Did you say something, my lord?" one of the guards asked.

"No," Shining responded, shaking his head. "Nothing important." He studiously ignored Cadance's raised eyebrow. "I see the intersection just ahead, right next to the forest's edge. Let's stop here."

The soldier nodded and barked orders as the troops slowed down and spread out. The Equestrian troops that had emigrated with him to the Crystal Empire were tense and ready, while the Crystal Empire ones looked more confused than anything, and Shining once again questioned just what kind of training they had received.

Soon enough, those thoughts fled from his mind as one of the scouts shouted: "The deer! The deer are coming!"

Shining stared at them in awe, taking every detail into his very soul.

The deer delegation came with the chimes of crystal bells, mixed with a rattle of some sort, maybe created by wooden instruments. A slight chorus of birds, wind and leaves followed each careful step as a radiant halo of white light seemed to palpitate with wholesome goodness in between the deer troops. Each deer was decorated with green cloth straps, embossed with silver and gold in the shape of leaves or symbols of water and air and their antlers reflected the light in away that twisted it just so to create slight moments of pure rainbow-like effects.

In front of them, a whole shoulder, head and antlers taller and stronger-looking than all the deer behind him, was another deer. But this was no common deerfolk.

His chest and shoulders were wide and strong, decorated with a dark-green cape held in place with a golden clasp, intricately etched to the exact image of The Triple Leaves, symbol of the Free Nations of the Forest. Few knew, in this day and age the true value and significance of that clasp, for it was indeed the fabled Laurië Tangwa, forged with only three strikes, deep in the forest under the roots of the Home Tree, at the exact moment that both the rays of the Sun and the Moon had reflected on the Sacred Lake at the top of the tree and the water dripping from above had been used to quench it.

A green belt crossed his chest, engraved with ancient runes, each representing one of the stars that blessed the Deerfolk with their light, with a larger one, symbolic of I NénarYönder, the star that shone the day the first deer had grazed on the grass of the world. And from this belt hung the mighty Melca Ecet, the mighty curved sword, rumored to have cut the hoof of Grogar. His front hooves wore pure Silver Tál Telmes, which were rumored to give him running stamina beyond the ken of mortal understanding, and finally above steely-grey eyes, his velvety antlers were decorated with what could only be the Cor Lamime Hithlain, a string of bells enchanted to guide their owner through any darkness and any illusion that might stand in their way.

This was the legendary Cúthalion Autumleaf, the great leader of the deer people for over a thousand years. A deer that—rumor had it—once taught the secrets of the stars to Celestia after Luna was exiled, and to be known as an enemy to Cúthalion Autumleaf, was to know despair.

Shining sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Shiny, if you keep staring like that I might have to divorce you."

"Oh, right!" Shining coughed at the voice of his wife. "Of course, dear. Let's—"

"The Balrogs! The Balrogs come!"

Shining and Cadance turned to the other side of the road, where the Balrogs now appeared.

Shining noted that each step they took scorched the earth under them, and they all wore a simple lioncloth, leaving the rest of their muscular bodies exposed. At the front, there was a bigger one, and if you stared too long you could sort of hear the ending strands of a guitar riff.

"Hubba…"

Frowning he turned to raise an eyebrow at Cadance, who was openly drooling. He smirked, leaning in for his own jab, "Love, if you keep staring like that I—"

"Shut up and let me have this!"

"...yes dear."

o.0.o

The Alpha howled, allowing the rush of energy to seep into him as he and his pack of fifty wolves jumped out of the forest, fangs bared and eyes glinting with bloodlust, smelling the scent of pony just beyond their borders.

"DIE PONIES!" he roared, just as it registered in his mind that it wasn't just a couple of ponies… but a whole army.

Time seemed to slow down as he turned his face to look at the army of deer to his left, all of the visible ones already casting spells. As his time-slowed perception caught up with that and he braced himself for impact, he instinctively tried to turn in the other direction, only to see the biggest, meanest demons he had ever seen. The biggest of them was already grinning.

It was then that he thought it might have been a good idea to listen to that wolf merchant that had told him to just make peace with the ponies.

"Okay." Cadance kept her eyes carefully focused on Shining Armor, and not on the cleaning crew that was removing the last bits of wolf from the area next to the forest. "You have thirty seconds to explain exactly why this slave thing is a good thing."

Bloodborn Aleguzzler and Cúthalion Autumleaf exchanged glances. "Well," the Balrog King started, "it goes back to when Sombra decided to extend diplomatic relations with us and the Deer."

"Of course, neither of us wanted anything to do with that megalomaniac," Cúthalion stated with a snort. "He was an uncouth idiot who had taken over the Crystal Empire and brainwashed his citizens, manipulating everything so that even those that were not directly influenced by his spells, were subject to his lies and paranoia… and he had such little understanding of the world outside his immediate sphere of influence, that he tried to manipulate us into turning against each other."

"How does an idiot come into power like that?" Shining asked. "Our impression of him was different. All we really knew was that Sombra was powerful and magically very competent."

Cúthalion snorted. "He stole power. He controlled some things by breaking the ones he couldn't understand. He claimed threats existed where there weren't, that other rulers such as Celestia loved and admired him when they didn't, and threatened the world economy for his ego. It doesn't make him smart, it makes him an opportunistic liar. Since he was a 'king' the only way to remove him was the traditional way, otherwise he would have been voted out the moment he opened his mouth."

"History is full of fools that have obtained station and power through luck or betrayal. They don't tend to last long, although the damage that they do lasts much longer." Bloodborn Aleguzzler snorted. "Since we are the leaders of our people, we couldn't just ignore how our neighboring nation was growing increasingly isolated. Sombra was not fond of non-ponies, but he was still more hungry for power and recognition than he was xenophobic. His spells were effective only on ponies, so he wanted us to either exterminate each other, or declare our allegiance to him."

"Of course the idiot did not understand the true nature of our ancient conflict," Cúthalion said with a roll of his eyes. "He assumed that our war would end up in blood spilled. But, with things as they were, he figured that that would not happen unless he got involved directly. So he made a choice and asked the Balrogs to come visit him, in order to seduce them to his side."

Bloodborn grinned a surprisingly vicious smile. "And of course, I accepted! No balrog worth his ash would ignore a party invitation! But I also wanted to mock this pretender. He was no leader, and he thought himself smarter than he was, so Cúthalion and I discussed the matter in secret. We could not simply insult him to his face. Starting a war would only end in the ponies being massacred."

"So we decided to make his so-called power into a mockery," Cúthalion explained. "Sombra's power over his people was born of lies, secrets and slavery. So I suggested—"

"Hold on, it wasn't your idea!" Bloodborn countered. "I'm the one that came with the plan!"

"Yes, yes," Cúthalion groaned, rolling his eyes and glancing with half-lidded annoyance at his fellow ruler. "But the original idea came from me. If you recall I was the one that said: 'What if we somehow let his subjects experience freedom for as long as we're there?"

Cadance and Shining Armor blinked. "What."

"But you demanded slaves!" Cadance said, pointing her hoof accusingly at the balrog.

Cúthalion's smile became almost as vicious as Bloodborn's. "Quite."

Letting out a guffaw, Bloodborn shook his head. "When Cúthalion suggested that, I sort of threw out there that it would be very amusing to completely subvert his false status by distorting the meaning of the word 'slaves' when it came to us balrogs visiting, and demanded that whenever we sent a delegation of balrogs to the Crystal Empire, he was to provide us with a list of slaves for our underlings to toy with."

"I fail to see what is so amusing about that."

The Balrog King raised an eyebrow. "What you forget, princess, is that we Balrogs take more amusement on twisting things for fun than for evil. What good are a bunch of morose ponies tending to our every whim, when what we want is to feast on positive energy and beer?"

Cúthalion nodded knowingly. "That is the same reason we have three thousand years of so-called war between our people."

"So…"

"So," Bloodborn continued, "while I was drinking beer and Sombra's best wine. While I was demanding the best of his food, and complimenting him on that stupidly ridiculous getup of his… my entourage was celebrating with the 'slaves'. They ate the best food in the kingdom, drank the best alcohol, played to their heart's content, brought their children to ride on our backs as we flew around, showed off their art, their poems and their songs."

Cúthalion nodded, grinning at the dawning understanding in the face of the two ponies. "We subverted the meaning of the word… we couldn't free them immediately, but we turned his mocking word into a festival of sorts whenever the balrogs were there."

"And with Celestia and Luna making their moves, we had plenty of visits to the Empire," Bloodborn added. "Not only were the ponies in the parties able to enjoy themselves, but we also slowly broke the spells cast on the Crystal Empire guards, until only a few remained loyal to Sombra through his magic."

"In the meantime," Cúthalion continued, "I engaged Princesses Luna and Celestia, first through dream magic, then personally. I made them aware of our little game… without explaining too much, lest a spy get word to Sombra, but the three of us devised a plan to have him confront the princesses on his own, while allowing the Crystal Ponies to take a word with horrible connotations, and make it their own, using it to mock the system that oppressed them."

"We conspired with the captains and generals of the Crystal Empire," Bloodborn said, "so that his army would ever so slowly lag behind him. When he fought the Princesses, we never aided him, his army was on its way back to the empire, and he found that—despite his boasting—he was no match for them."

"So, Shining Light of my Eyes, Most Exalted Sensual Entity of Love, Mistress Whose Hoof The Empire Bows To, Princess Cadance…" Quartz Quill whispered reverently. "May we still—"

"Look," Cadance interrupted, raising a hoof. "First of all, I've told you before to stop calling me those many titles. Second of all, if Shining is okay with it, you can stay tonight. Third of all, as much as I understand the nature of what happened now, I am still not comfortable with using the title of 'slaves' in some sort of twisted positive sense." She took took a deep breath, glancing at the deer and balrog. "I understand why you did what you did, and what it meant to them…"

Bloodborne and Cúthalion looked at each other, then back at Cadance.

"But that is a time that is past, and I think that while it served its purpose a thousand years ago to mock that despot, it only makes sense when you're doing that to his face. Now that he's gone back to pompadour hell, there is no need for anypony to call themselves 'slave', mockery or not."

"But…" Quartz Quill shifted in place. "My queen, the ponies will be very disappointed if this doesn't happen…"

Shining smiled, placing a hoof on her shoulder. "I don't think my wife is planning to cancel that."

"Of course not," Cadance said, smiling at her secretary. "I just think it's time to twist again, into something better."

"Oh?" Bloodborne asked, standing a bit straighter. "How so?"

"We make it a city-wide holiday," Cadance said, smiling as she faced the others. "And those ponies who offer to work with Balrogs during this holiday will just be called something different. I can think of no better way to spit in the face of the memory of a tyrant like Sombra, than having a festival celebrating every time that he was fooled."

The gathered monarchs grinned at each other.

"Then let the celebrations begin!" Cúthalion declared.

"Yes!" Bloodborne laughed. "I have plenty of new fur pelts to show off!"

As they started to move out, Quartz Quill blinked. "Wait, my queen, I think I misheard, when you were listing the things you wanted—"

Cadance cupped her chin in her hoof, leaning forth until she could whisper in her secretary's ear. making it twitch. "I know everything you have been saying about me and Shining. So let's find out if you have the stamina for it." She straightened. "But first… we should get this party started."

It took surprisingly little time to get all three armies marching together, and it was then that a thought crossed Shining Armor's mind. "So… I've always heard that you both had a long-standing rivalry going on… in fact the wars we've heard of are legendary, if a bit obscure on the details."

Cúthalion glanced at Bloodborne before looking forward a bit frostily. "You mean the battles between the Golden Leafs and the Hellriser Maces."

Bloodborne laughed. "Still sore about that last one?"

Cúthalion grumbled noncommittally.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Cadence asked.

"..."

"I'm afraid I didn't catch it," she repeated narrowing her eyes at the deer.

"Those are our… hoofball teams."