The Legacy of Derpy Hooves

by Miles_Valentine

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, DJ P0N-3, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 22853

Derpy discovers her cutie mark, finds out how to interpret it and learns to deal with other ponies.

In this story, Derpy Hooves is tasked with discovering the meaning of her life and gaining her cutie mark. It also deals with interpreting her cutie mark and handling herself socially amongst other ponies when she is quite clearly different from them. Expect a story that revolves around Derpy growing as a character and becoming Ponyvilles beloved mail mare.

Published 2012-04-08 15:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-13 12:23:01 UTC

The Mail Mare

Chapter 2:

It was one of those nights, those restless nights that Derpy turned and rolled through all night. Finally somepony had saw past her ditzy demeanour and she for the first time in her life had a real responsibility placed upon her. It was difficult to get to sleep, but she nodded off into dreamworld as her eyelids gently closed. As her mother departed to her own bed, she stopped by her daughters room. She noticed Derpy was wearing her new mail bags to bed on her back, which made her smile a little, gently petting her on the head. Perhaps Derpy would find what she was looking for with those mail bags upon her flank.

Derpy felt blades of grass tickling her back as she rolled around on the forest floor. She looked up at the sky as she kicked her hooves in the air. What seemed to be little bits of paper floated down from the sky beyond her hooves, fluttering down towards her like leaves falling from trees. The letters fell closer and began to slowly pile up around Derpy. As each hit the ground she could feel the emotions of each pony who wrote that letter. Kicking herself onto her hooves she began to gather all of the letters and put them in her mail bags. Each time she picked up a letter the grass beneath it died and withered. She didn't understand why but she kept putting them in her bags and noticed the soil becoming spongy and the grass gradually disappearing completely. Dropping a letter from her maw, she sniffed the spongy soil curiously. Immediately she dove her head onto it and began to munch on it as she seemed to be standing on a giant blueberry muffin. Derpy chewed the muffin and ran her cheek lovingly across it's spongy surface, the vanilla and fresh baked aroma surrounding her. She flapped her wings excitedly as she used her hooves to dig into the giant muffin so she could live inside it forever. She closed her eyes and licked at the walls of her new muffin home, which seemed to never run out no matter how much she ate. Gradually the muffin began to lose its flavour and beautiful scent. Derpy murmured uneasedly as she prodded her hooves into the muffin which seemed stronger and springier.

Derpy's eyes opened to find herself with a good portion of her own pillow inside her mouth.

“Bleehh!” She spluttered, taking it out.

Standing on all four hooves upon her bed, she was quick to rise this morning as she knew she had a job to do. With an air of adventure fresh in her mind she jumped straight off her bed and trotted downstairs. To her surprise, her mother was yet to rise from bed and Derpy found no breakfast upon the table. Derpy trotted into the kitchen, the young daylight weeping through the wall of cloud where it was at its least dense. It created a sparkling effect as the ever flowing, ever evolving patterns of the cloud morphed before her. The cereal box laid upon the counter, which Derpy took into her mouth and placed upon the table. If her mother wasn't here, Derpy would need to take care of herself like a responsible pony. Next she opened the fridge and selected the milk that resided in a purple crystal bottle, which she carefully placed next to the cereal. Her ingredients gathered, she knew she had missed something. Looking upwards at the cupboard she realized that she needed a bowl to hold her mixture. Derpy used her wings to hover up to the upper kitchen cupboard where she saw her mother getting the plates, opening it up and grabbing a bowl using her mouth. She turned to the table where she was to place her newly acquired bowl, but she had forgotten to close the cupboard door. She turned back around and she hit the side of her face on the door, knocking the bowl clean out of her mouth. She yelled out, the bowl bouncing on the table, hard enough to make a crashing noise, but not enough to break. Derpy fluttered down, sitting on the table, tearfully rubbing her cheek.

“Mail mares don't cry Derpy...” Derpy began
“Derpy! Derpy is that you?” Her mother yelled.

With great urgency and panic, Derpy's mother flew from her room into the kitchen, her own duvet still caught on her hoof. She saw a tearful Derpy sitting on the table with cereal in her bowl and spilled all over the table between her legs. Her mail bags were in a pile behind her as she sniffled on her rear.

“I'm sorry mummy... I wanted to do it by myself.” Derpy said.

Derpy's mum, who was in full on alert mode as if expecting a burglar pony, began to try and control her breathing, her shocked expression falling to a more dazed one.

“Oh...Derpy dear. I thought it was... Come on, lets get this tidied up.” She replied breathlessly

Derpy took the brush into her teeth and began to sweep up the wheat ponies across the floral tablecloth, into her mothers dustpan. As she emptied it's contents into the bin, Derpy dried a few stray tears from her eyes with her hooves.

“Now listen dear, there's an important lesson in this.” Derpy's mother started.

Taking the bottle of milk into her hooves, Derpys mum used her teeth to remove its lid, pouring the milk into the bowl. Derpy took her seat and took a spoon as her mother handed it to her, beginning to eat her breakfast.

“I realise it's important for you to try things on your own...” Her mother continued.

Derpy looked up sheepishly at the much larger pony as she paced around the kitchen, her tone changing to a more sombre one.

“...But I shouldn't, because I cant, right?” Derpy asked.
“No, Derpy, that's not it at all! Listen... I respect your need to try to be independent and I will fully support your decision. But my dear, you have to try and take failure in your stride.”

Her mother was leaning over the kitchen sink, looking thoughtfully outside at the wide world beyond the safe haven she had made for her daughter. Her intention was to nurture and support, but not to imprison or suffocate.

“Derpy your mother had to go through life, just as you are. I was a pony who saw the world differently from everypony else. It made life hard when I tried to make friends and nopony could understand me. I also have your lazy eyes, which you seem to have inherited.” Her mother said.

Derpy looked confusedly at her mother for a moment as she worked her way through the meal, as she was still looking out the window.

“You don't have derp eyes mummy, you can see fine can't you?” Derpy asked, puzzled.

Derpy's mum turned to her, and only now did Derpy notice that her mum's eyes were not aligned correctly. She would only see her mummy when she looked at her, it had never seemed to occur to her that her mother was just the same as her.

“Derp eyes? Is that what the ponies say to you? I do hope you don't let ponies say horrible things like that to you.” Her mother said.

Derpy lowered her ears, as she knew that she didn't stand up for herself as much as she might like.
“My friends help me when there are mean ponies.” Derpy revealed.

Derpy's mother took her mane comb from the work surface by the sink and approached her daughter. She then, as before began to comb her daughters hair straight.

“You have to understand Derpy dear, you wont always have your friends to help you. They will try and help you when they can, but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and be heard. I'm very pleased to hear that your beginning to make friends though dear.” Her mother said.

Derpy wondered if what she had were friends. She did feel at times that she was merely an oddity if not a novelty that ponies put up with. But no, Scootaloo seemed to like playing with her as much as she did with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. As the comb worked its way through Derpy's angelic hair,Derpy raised her hoof to stop her mother.

“Post ponies comb their own hair mummy...”

Derpy's mother paused for a moment. She didn't like to think she was hindering her daughters independence. She may like to pamper her daughter but she knew she had to respect her feelings.

“Mothers with adorable mail mares in the family sometimes like to groom them for work... And there's nothing wrong with that, is there?” Derpy's mother asked.

Derpy's hoof slowly slid down her hair, allowing her mother to comb her. She knew she only meant to groom her because she loved her and Derpy liked how that felt.

“Post ponies with lovely mummy's are the luckiest ones.” Derpy offered, returning her mothers gesture with an affectionate hug.

As she let her daughter take her own mail bags off the table and place them upon her own back, her mother felt a little emotional.

“I'm going to be the Ponyville Post Pony, with a letter on her flank, mummy!” She stated.

Trying to hold back her tears, Derpy's mother merely nodded and offered a hoofed wave as her daughter left their home. It really felt like Derpy was making her first steps as an independent mare.

Derpy proceeded to Cloudsdale Pony Post Office which wasn't far from the flight school. As she passed the flight school, she noticed her small orange pony friend in a line outside of it. Derpy flew up behind Scootaloo and nuzzled her on the head from behind. Scootaloo oofed as she sank onto her rear, turning to Derpy's big grey muzzle as she prodded it with her hooves.

“Hey, you! Your tickling me you silly pony!” Scootaloo giggled.

Derpy folded her wings and sat with Scootaloo, who was poking at the mailbag on Derpy's left side.

“Huh, we never got one of these things in flight school... What did that weird pony do with you exactly? I never saw you all day after that.” Scootaloo said.
“Oh, these? These are my mail bags Scoots, First Class is a post pony and he said to me that I can be one too if I'm good.” Derpy said.
“That's so cool, Derpy! I'm retaking the hoop test today. At least half of us didn't manage it, even by the end of the day, so we need to try again...So don't feel bad you didn't do it. I think they only flew well when you were with them, because you were a good leader!” Scootaloo said.
Derpy was beginning to blush from all of this praise and felt she had to leave before the flattering filly really embarrassed her.

“Thanks so so much Scoots, but I have to go and get the mail!” Derpy said.

Scootaloo nodded and offered Derpy a wave. Those words repeating in Derpy's mind as she left her. She was really doing it. In fact, before she knew it, she was there and her mailbags were being filled with letters for the ponies of Ponyville.

“Now Derpy, I need you to deliver each of these letters and parcels. This is the economy mail, so you wont be under a lot of pressure time wise. Just focus on getting them to the right ponies and take your time.” First Class said.

Derpy nodded, feeling the mail bags getting a good bit heavier either side of her, but she stood up straight as if it was nothing. She didn't want First Class to think she wasn't strong enough.

“You will have to get used to the weight Derpy. You need to keep it slow and steady as you fly and make gentle turns, understand?” He asked.

Derpy nodded her head, her mail bags now full. She turned to face the door and trotted out of it, determined to get a good take off even with the extra weight. Once she was outside and cantering, she really felt the swaying of the bags as she took each stride. Every step threatened to unbalance her if she wasn't careful, so she didn't want to try to go too fast. Instead she flapped her wings in stronger and broader sweeps to lift her hooves off of the cloud layer at a slower speed. As soon as she left the cloud, she felt the mail bags begin to influence her banking with any slight turn she made. It seemed to be a more challenging endeavour than she would have first thought. When she made an instinctive turn in the direction of Ponyville, all at once the mail bags and their band fell straight off her back. Derpy looked down in horror as a few of the lighter envelopes flew out of the left mailbag, whose latch flapped openly in the wind. Just then a rainbow swooped right through the bag and it disappeared completely. Seconds later, Rainbow Dash hovered in front of the mesmerised Derpy, holding her mailbags.

“Well, well, well looks like somepony made an impression on First Class!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Oh Rainbow Dash, thanks so much... I dropped some of the letters and now...” Derpy started.

Rainbow Dash closed the latch on the left mailbag and slapped them back on her back.

“And now, Derpy, your going to go and find them?” Dash proposed.

Derpy's mind rolled back to when her mother told her she needed to cope with failure better and it all seemed to make sense. Derpy nodded in response, going into a glide to land in Ponyville.

“Your right Rainbow Dash, it's all about attitude isn't it?”
“That's right Derpy, now you go and do the job you know you can do!” Dash exclaimed.

Her faith in herself renewed, Derpy landed on all four hooves by AppleJack's farm as she thought she saw an envelope land near there. It was a good thing the wind seemed to have died down or the search would be made almost impossible. Derpy spotted Big Macintosh carrying apples away from his and his sisters orchard. She noticed an envelope was trapped in between two rosy red apples in the one pony yoke he was using. Derpy fluttered towards the yoke and retrieved the letter, causing Big Mac to look over his shoulder at her suspiciously.

“Oh I'm sorry Big Mac, this letter isn't yours is it?” Derpy asked.

The large and strong pony peered at the envelope in front of his muzzle. He shook his head.

“Nnnnope. That's fer Apple Bloom.” He replied plainly.

Derpy knew the stallion was a pony of few words and knew not to be intimidated by him. She knew he was a nice and gentle soul who simply liked his own company.

“Sorry to bother you sir, but do you know where I could find her?” Derpy asked.

Big Mac let a brief smile form on his stoic hard working face. He did enjoy thinking his hard work was appreciated and was aware he had grown to be respected not only on the farm but in the community. He knew this, but it was nice when ponies spoke to him put up with his social shortcomings and treated him with dignity. It wasn't asking a lot, but it was enough to make his day. He broke his objective demeanour for a moment.

“Fair mail mare, mah youngest siblin is in er Cutie Mark Crusadin tree house. You take care now, Derpeh.” Big Mac answered.

Derpy was so shocked to hear so much come out of Big Mac at once she could barely answer him. She had never heard him say more than his usual yes or no answers. It only goes to show that all ponies can change, if they care to.

“Thanks sir...” She said.

The muscular land pony picked his yoke back up and trundled back towards the apple pressing warehouse, his long tail bobbing behind him. If only Derpy could find what Big Mac had found. Contentedness and complete acceptance in his role in society. It was all very well being called a mail mare by a handsome stallion, but like Big Mac, she would have to earn it. Derpy trotted in the direction of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Tree house, floating up to its level and peering in it's window, with the curious glance of a cat. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were inside, using crayons to make a sign of some sort. Derpy clambered through the window, before tripping and landing in a heap. The fillies jumped and saw Derpy, Sweetie Belle Immediately hiding what they were doing.

“H-hi g-guys...” Derpy stammered.

Apple Bloom picked up the letter Derpy had dropped and examined it. She picked it up with her mouth and opened it up.

“Oh thanks a bunch Derpy, this is from Scootaloo. She's enjoying herself in flight school and asks if the super cool banner with the-” Apple Bloom started,

Sweetie Belle's hoof pressed onto Apple Bloom's mouth as she shook her head. Derpy looked at the both of them, bewildered.

“It's not a problem, I'm handling the post for today, I could end up getting this as a job!” Derpy said.

Sweetie Belle raised her hoof which had a letter in it.

“Looks like you dropped some though Derpy. It's okay though, I'll get this to Rarity.” Sweetie Belle said.
Derpy clopped her hooves together now that a second letter had been found. She could remember that three letters fell from the bag, so now she just had one remaining to find.

“Thanks a lot for your help you two! I have to go though, I still have a letter missing. I'll play with you soon though, I promise!” Derpy said.

With that, Derpy left the fillies to their banner, which Sweetie Belle produced from under her rear. She sighed in relief as she knew she couldn't let Derpy see it.

Fluttering down from the Tree house, Derpy found her way to the road leading to the plaza. Pinkie Pie was running in the distance across the Ponyville plaza, chasing a piece of paper. She tripped and dropped the muffin she was carrying as it flew through the air in a strong wind. Derpy saw the chance and dove after the muffin, focusing on it. As she did so, time seemed to slow as the adrenaline coursed through her with a deft and precise flourish she nabbed the muffin in her hoof and the letter in her mouth, landing squarely on her hooves. Pinkie Pie had saw it all, from the neatly paved plaza she laid upon. Jumping to her hooves she cantered around Derpy in circles energetically. Derpy's hair was being blown violently back by the wind before the freak gust gradually passed.

“Derpy! How on Equestria did you do that!? That was like full blown Pinkie Sense! Do you have it too!?” Pinkie inquired.

“N-no...I just...I focused on the muffin, like the muffin in my dream... I saw it and felt it and I just picked it up. Oh and the letter too. Is it your letter?” Derpy asked.
“Yeah it is, but wow Derpy... This is a big deal, you know? I dunno how anypony could nab a letter that was going so fast! You must have magic letter powers or something!” Pinkie said.

Derpy considered that possibility for a second, taking a moment to look at her thigh expectantly. Her bare flank didn't seem to think so, but the focus she showed sure was pretty amazing.

“Well I don't know yet Pinkie, but I think muffins help me focus.” Derpy said.
“You can keep it Derpy, the machine from yesterday is all fixed up so I'm not mad at you. I have to go get back to work though, nice seeing you, mail mare!”

As Pinkie took the letter from Derpy's teeth into hers, she recognised that term again. Her mother was right all this time. She had tried something new and she was learning all sorts of new things about herself along the way. She was making new friends and she was discovering new talents. Derpy then looked at the muffin in her hoof and spoke to it.

“Muffin, I'm only going to eat you, when all of my letters are safe with their ponies.” Derpy stated.

With that said, Derpy placed it into her half empty mail bag and resumed her mail route. She had been taken off track from dropping some of the mail, but she would still be able to get the rest of the mail where it needed to be, by sundown, or she would not eat the muffin. With this in mind she successfully passed every last envelope and parcel on time to the proper pony. As the afternoon ended, she retired to her home, with her muffin, bearing news of her first major triumph for pony independence.

Derpmail

Chapter Three:

This was an unusual sensation to her, it was not often that she felt a sense of genuine pride in her achievements. But as she returned home, with two empty mail bags, she flew with a wide smile on her face. When she returned to her cloud home, she landed delicately and opened the door. Her mother heard her and came to greet her, and could tell by the smile on her face that all had went brilliantly. She settled down for her dinner where the two of them talked about her adventures. That night, Derpy had no trouble at all getting to sleep, feeling for once that she was settling into a life where she may truly belong.

Trotting along a rope bridge, Derpy looked around confusedly. The rope bridge was suspended over a one hundred foot chasm with sharp stalagmites sticking out of an active lava flow. She didn't think she recognised this place at all and concluded that she was probably dreaming. Now in full awareness of her dream state she looked to her hooves, which were in fact more beige than grey and as she looked at them, a dark grey mane flopped in front of her face. Whoever this pony was, it wasn't Derpy. Regardless, Derpy played into the hands of her own psyche and proceeded along the rope bridge. With a mighty crack Derpy saw a rock falling from the roof of the cavern, totaling the middle of the bridge. Amazingly, it still stood, but about a dozen of the middle most planks had been completely destroyed. What's worse, the lava had splashed onto the back end of the bridge where Derpy had entered, and the bridge was beginning to burn.

“No, no...I want to wake up!” Derpy cried.

As the bridge began to burn, Derpy spotted her mum on the other side of the bridge who appeared to be calling to somepony.

“Daring Do! It's just a dream! Calm down!” She yelled.

Realising that she's right, Derpy ran as fast as she could towards the huge gap, kicking the very last plank with a solid clop of her hooves. She sailed through the air, landing right in her mothers arms.

“Derpy...? Come on Derpy...” She said.

With her hooves fully stretched out as if mid leap, Derpy's dazed little head turned to her mother who was sitting at her bedside, one of Derpy's hooves prodded into her tummy.

“Oh Derpy, are you alright? I thought you were having a nightmare. You were crying out for help in your sleep...” She said

Realising what she was having probably was a nightmare, she noticed how it didn't seem to feel like it at the time. She knew deep down that she was in the dream world, so she knew she'd always be okay. So it was more like an adventure for her.

“...Oh, no, no. It was cool! I was...I think I was Daring Do and I was in a big cave with lava and stuff... And I was in a lot of trouble, but it was okay because I knew it was a dream and... You were too and...I think I was looking for the mystical sapphire muffin and...” Derpy continued
“Okay, Derpy, I get it, it's all good as long as you are okay.”

Only then did Derpy realise that her mum was holding an envelope before her muzzle with her name on it. Derpy looked at it and took it into her hoof as her mother gave it to her.

“Oh, this? Cloudsdale's mail mare dropped this off for you a couple minutes ago. It has the seal of First Class on it, so it must be good!” She said.

Derpy slid the envelope seal to her teeth and nibbled along the top of it.She pulled it open carefully and the letter itself landed on her lap.

“Dear Derpy Hooves,

In recognition of your first successful mail run, I'd like to offer you more work. In other words, Derpy, you have been hired! Please come to our post office as quickly as you can because we have some higher priority mail to shift.

Signed, First Class, Executive of Cloudsdale Mail.”

Derpy jumped into the air, the letter curling and turning in the air towards the door as Derpy bounced on her bed. Derpy's mum caught it in her hoof and began to read it.

“Derpy, goodness me, I'm so pleased for you!” She said.

Bounding off of the bed next to her mum, Derpy thundered down the stairs. She pushed open the front door and was about to leave when her mother called her.

“Derpy! Come back here! You haven't a single thing in your stomach, come back.”

With a sigh Derpy turned and strolled back in, her excitement getting the better of her. She sat by the dining table and looked confusedly at what was placed upon it. It appeared that the bottle of milk and the box of dry wheat ponies were placed there instead of prepared cereal. Her mother appeared from the foot of the stairs. She knew that Derpy was capable of far far more than mixing milk and cereal on her own, but she knew it held some symbolic meaning to her.

“Well, what are you waiting for Derpy?” Her mother asked.
“But mummy, I'll just spill it all again...” Derpy said, sighing.
“Now you told me what Rainbow Dash taught you yesterday Derpy...”
“...Attitude...Right. Okay...” She replied.

With her mouth upon the corner of the box, Derpy let her mind visualise the bowl as a big hollowed out muffin. The cereal fell into it with a pleasing tinkle as Derpy sat the box back down safely. Then Derpy put her lips around the open bottle of milk from yesterday. Instead of using her hooves to pour it out, she drew her head back and all the milk went straight into her mouth. Using her hooves to put the bottle back down, Derpy proceeded to let all the milk dribble out of her mouth into the imaginary muffin. Her mother was less surprised at the display than anypony would expect. She was just glad Derpy did it and did it her way.

“Well I guess we can call that 'thinking outside the box'. You're so good at that because your box has been lost in the attic for years.” Her mum joked.

Derpy didn't really understand but she laughed anyway, proceeding to have her pony cereal. She found it to taste much sweeter having actually prepared it herself. And because she was still pretending she was eating out a giant muffin. As before, Derpy's mother began to work Derpy's hair with her comb to neaten it out from a busy nights dreaming.

“Now Derpy, I'm going to let you have this comb alright? The first reason is because all of that flying in high winds will give your hair a real workout. The second reason is... Well dear, I'm sure at your age your beginning to feel more conscious of your appearance. A little personal grooming, for you and you alone could go a long way to help you with that.”

Letting her mum talk so she could eat faster, Derpy downed her breakfast faster than she had before. Placing down the empty bowl, she got up and approached the door. Her mother produced the comb she had mentioned and placed it in Derpy's mailbag.

“Alright, you have a good day Derpy, I'll see you later.” She said.
Derpy left her home to travel to what she could now safely call her workplace. Something she could do that everypony counted on her for, and it felt great.

Arriving at the post office in record time, Derpy stepped onto a wooden palette as two ponies came to her side and began to fill each of her bags. First Class then appear from his office, placing his hooves on the counter as he turned to Derpy.

“Welcome to the family, Derpy. Looks like you did a good job, we even got some feedback yesterday about you. From one big red stallion over on Apple Acres.” First Class said.

“Big Mac mentioned me? But I messed up in front of him and I....I mean...” Derpy trailed off.
“We know Derpy, it was your first day! We do it all the time to new recruits, don't we boys?”

The ponies that were loading Derpy chuckled a little bit as they continued looking out the right mail for her.

“Packed you full of letters until your sides were burstin. We gave you the heavy parcels too. You dropped your bags and some of the mail, but the important thing is, you never gave up. Determination is the key in this business. Without determination you can be a good post pony, sure. With it, you can be a great post pony.”

Now realising that she was on a bigger test than she realised, Derpy was overjoyed that she managed to pass against the odds.

“Not many of our recruits manage the full bags test on their first delivery. The kind of drive you demonstrated is essential to becoming a the best kind of post pony, like Priority Mare.”

First Class pointed at a picture on the wall of a smart looking mare with the words “President, Equestrian Mail”.

“She, like all of the great mail mares flew through hail and lightning to deliver the mail. Though, I don't encourage you to be so reckless, you're a young mare, full of life and potential. If things get hairy, you will abandon your job, understand?” First class ordered.

Nodding in his direction, Derpy was given a pat by a loading pony to tell her she was all set. It felt probably only half as heavy as yesterdays mail, so Derpy was sure today would be a breeze. She waved goodbye and trotted out of the door, ready to deliver some mail. Just as Derpy left, another mail mare passed her with Celestias signature solar symbol on his mailbags. As Derpy looked back, the ponies that were loading her seemed to be looking around the post office frantically. With a shrug, Derpy leaped off of the cloud with her wings extended so she could glide easily, with the lighter bags.

Landing by her first stop, Derpy took the letter for Rarity and placed it in her mouth. Knocking on the door, she waited patiently for her customer to arrive, a proud look on her face. She opened the door with Opalesence in her mouth by the nape of her neck, placing her down as she saw there was a letter.

“Oh, Derpy, it's you... I hope these are my tickets to DJ-PON3's tour. I don't think I could stomach another letter from Blue Blood. That stallion is obsessed, darling.” She said.
“Yeah, Vinyl Scratch, you said about that before. Her name... I don't really know why you'd be interested in that.” Derpy pondered.

Rarity used her hoof file to open up the letter and sure enough there were two tickets with the eccentric blue haired pony slapped all over them. Rarity clopped her hooves to the ground excitedly as she waved them about.

“I'm going to meet Vinyl Scratch!....Ahem....My dear, I'm flattered you think I'm so immortally elegant that I could never bring myself to let my hair down for even a single moment... But Sweetie Belle loves her and well, I cant deny, I did borrow her record player a few weeks ago...Come now, you can't judge a book by it's cover.” Rarity said.
“No you're right, I hope you have fun.” Derpy replied.
“Wait dear, I feel really bad about the way I treated you the other day. I was in a fashion fever and I couldn't control myself. I'd be honoured if you joined me Derpy.”

Derpy peered at the tickets, trying to read them, but she couldn't understand a lot of the words and the pictures were all abstract with lasers and lights. She had no idea what to expect, but she knew it'd certainly be interesting. She nodded gratefully and let Rarity give her the ticket.

“Thanks Rarity! I look forward to it!” Derpy said
“Oh and there's a half price spa token on the back!” Rarity added.

Derpy didn't know what a spa was, but she waved to Rarity and made her way to Fluttershy's home with her parcel. Pinkie Pie was passing through, carrying a tray of muffins to give out as samples as she spotted Derpy.

“Hey Derpy, think fast!” Pinkie yelled, throwing a muffin into the air.

Derpy instinctively flew upwards and grabbed it in her mouth, before fluttering down and taking it into her hoof.

“Figured you could use some of those muffin super powers you were telling me about. You must have been crashing all day without them. But with Pinkie Pie as your buddy, you'll never run out, muffin mare!” Pinkie exclaimed, trotting away.

Derpy had just realised she had completely forgotten about muffins ever since she left home, and she hadn't crashed once. Muffins seemed to have little to do with it. It'd seem that the job was focusing her mind and the responsibility involved was keeping her on her hooves. Placing the muffin in her mailbag, Derpy then moved the wrong hoof the wrong way and she ended up tripping over herself, with a faceful of the ground. Perhaps she was just lucky before, she didn't know. She picked herself up and dusted herself down like any other good mail mare, trotting off to Fluttershy's. When she arrived, she knocked on the door thrice.

“....Hi...Derpy...” Fluttershy quietly mumbled.
“Uh... Fluttershy I just wanted-”

Fluttershy let out a little nervous squeal as Derpy was talking. Derpy looked around awkwardly as she tried to continue.

“A package....For you...” Derpy said quietly.

Derpy went to hand Fluttershy the package, but she backed off, causing Derpy to unbalance herself and fall at her hooves. This startled Fluttershy into squealing again and slamming the door shut. Derpy had never seen much of Fluttershy, but she knew enough about her to know that she takes a while to get to know new friends, so it was okay. Derpy sighed and turned to leave, the parcel left at Fluttershy's door. As she left Fluttershy's path she heard the door quickly opening and closing as Fluttershy took the parcel. It definitely seemed she'd need to work on her if she ever wanted to have a normal conversation with her.

Derpy then took off her mailbags and turned them out. One had a letter fall out and the other, a shining parcel fell out of. It had the symbol of the sun on it and “Princess Celestia” written on it. Derpy leapt backwards as she read it.

“The Princess? I cant believe it! I knew First Class liked me and he wanted to give me a more important delivery, but this?” Derpy said.

Derpy placed the precious cargo back in her bag, checking the last letters addressee. It was for Twilight Sparkle. It wasn't long before Derpy found her way there, knocking the door with her little grey hoof.

“Twilight, I'm the new mail mare and I-” Derpy began, talking quickly.
“I heard, Derpy and it's great news. How is the new job?” Twilight inquired.

To Twilight's surprise, her letter was thrust into her hoof quickly. She never knew Derpy to be so objective and stressy. She always seemed up for a chat most days.

“I'm really very sorry but I can't talk about it just now. I've gotten this really really important mail
to deliver. More important than you could ever think!” Derpy hurriedly said.

Twilight raised an eyebrow at the hyper pegasus as if she thought she was delivering muffins or something. It wasn't unusual for her to see Derpy acting weird like this so she simply nodded and let her on her way. Derpy quickly excused herself and flew straight into the sky with her last parcel.

Derpy wasn't terribly familiar with the route to Canterlot, but as she flew to a reasonable altitude, she spotted the unmistakably grand Castle in which the Princess did reside. For a moment Derpy brought her hoof to her mouth thoughtfully.

“It does look far away... Maybe I should go and ask mummy...” Derpy murmured.

Turning from Canterlot, to Cloudsdale and back again as she hovered in the air, her ears folded downwards, unsure of what she should do. Her mind then visualised First Class at his desk in his office trying to explain to the Princess where her parcel was and Derpy couldn't bear the thought of it. She had a job to do, and when she succeeded, everypony would be so impressed with her for doing such an important job. With a fluttering of her wings, Derpy set off for Canterlot on her first delivery to the Equestrian capital. Not only that, but to the Princess herself, which Derpy still couldn't believe. The royal mail mare she spotted entering the post office as she left must have been in the company for years before he got the honour of serving the monarchy. These thoughts whirled through the young mares head as she swung between dollops of cloud that punctuated the sky.

As she flew over the gates to Canterlot, she noticed the immediate change in the scenery. There was less green foliage around and her ears were picking up an ominous droning permeating the sky. As she flew lower she began to spot ponies walking to and fro, then there were more ponies. In fact she found herself being surrounded by more ponies on this one street than she'd seen in the whole of Ponyville. Everypony was very smartly dressed and many of them walked with a self-righteous strut with a sullen expression on their face. There were fillies smaller than Apple Bloom all the way up to Stallions older than Granny Smith. What they all had in common, was that they all seemed very busy and important, all with somewhere to go. Derpy stood by a huge statue of Princess Celestia that towered high above her. In it's shadow she wondered how she could take a mare like Derpy seriously as the Canterlot ponies swarmed around her.

Royal Mare

Chapter 4

At the mighty stone hooves of the magnificent Goddess, her eyes tracing up her leg into her warm and welcoming expression. From what she had heard, Celestia was a kind and thoughtful ruler. She possessed all the power of the Universe in her magical horn and commanding hoof. Derpy then took the muffin Pinkie gave her out of her mailbag and began to eat it, as she was feeling hungry by then. Looking back up, the statue appeared to be made of solid white marble and was in remarkably good condition. It was then she noticed a soft whistling amongst the rabble. An old beige pony with a bucket in his mouth was polishing the immortalisation of his leader. He turned to Derpy as he shone the golden emblazonment of the sun on her royal flank.

“She's quite a bit of work isn't she?” He said.

Derpy wondered for a moment if the old timer meant the scrupulousness of the work present in the monolithic statue, or the princesses attitude. Or worse, her physical appearance. She squinted in response, deciding to assume the former most.

“Your not kidding, sir. Oh the...The mane...” Derpy started.

The mane appeared to be cut from pure amethyst and other rare gems. It flowed weightlessly to the mares left side, as if reinforced by magic. The way the sun shone through it bedazzled Derpy's young eyes. It was unlike anything she had ever seen. The old land pony drew the sponge across her leg to her hoof, which was raised proudly in front of her. Derpy popped the last of the muffin in her mouth and gulped it down.

“Yes, the handiwork is magnificent. Such opulence is commonplace here, you don't often see a mare giving it a second glance. You must be new around here.” He offered.

Derpy watched as the land pony made the flawless hoof shine with his towel, it's golden edge shining, reflecting the sun it commanded.

“That's right. I'm here on official business. I'm going to see the Princess in fact.” Derpy said, casually.

Raising his brow, the beige pony wondered if she was serious. He didn't sense any sarcasm or facade in her words, only the innocent smile of a young mare.

“...Now that is something. Not to be rude dear, but your hooves have mud on them, your flank could be sleeker and your wings could be neater. I don't mean to offend in the slightest, I simply fear that the guards will not listen to you. Canterlot has a fine spa dear, just down that road. The Princess herself opened it just last month.” He said

Derpy looked at her flank and her hooves and then back up to the statue of Celestia. She lowered her ears. She knew he was right, she just wasn't looking nearly smart enough to be in her presence. She tried to take the criticism in her stride, even if it was cutting.

“...I know your not being mean...I'll go now though. Was nice to meet you sir...” Derpy said

The cleaner pony couldn't help but feel a little guilty for the look of realisation he witnessed on Derpy's face. He shook his head, trying not to worry about it and resuming his whistling tune as he shone the statue. Derpy had met another pony impassioned by his work, which she couldn't help but envy. The Princess might be a good pony to talk too, Derpy thought, but why would she want to talk to her? So lost in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed the pony with the bright shining coat that crossed in front of her. She knocked into her, causing the pony to stumble, her streaky blue hair falling over her eyes. She whipped it back, on one knee as she looked up at Derpy.

“Fancy bumping into you...” She said.

Derpy took a step back, puzzled as she didn't recognise the pony before her. Her memory wasn't tremendous but she'd think she would recall such a distinct pony.

“I'm sorry... I don't know you... You have nice hair though.” Derpy said.
“Huh...your sure you don't?” She replied, nodding with her head towards her own hoof.

The pony was standing on her hind legs with her fore hooves crossed playfully. Derpy could see a piece of paper under her hoof that she was nodding towards. On her knees, Derpy bent to look at the piece of paper, which appeared to be a ticket. It had a pony on it with streaky blue hair and purple tinted glasses. Drawing her eyes from the ponies hoof up her body, to her face she noticed something.

“DJ PON3? Is that you?” Derpy said.

Vinyl Scratch tilted her head at the quirky pony looked up at her in shock. It wasn't every day she had a hardcore fan on both knees to her in a public place. This had to be something else though, as this pony didn't seem to have a clue.

“Last I checked, that was me...! Call me Vinyl Scratch... You don't seem like a typical fangirl.” She remarked, playfully.

Derpy shook her head from side to side. She didn't want to seem disrespectful, but she was probably the wrong pony to bump into the musician.

“Now I'd enjoy being treated like Princess Celestia herself as much as the next mare, but, come on up.” She said.

Vinyl Scratch offered Derpy a hoof up back on all fours. She then bent down to pick up the ticket to her own show, returning it to Derpy.

“Like Princess Celestia? Oh, I'm on my way to see her. I'm Derpy Hooves. I don't know what you mean by treating you like a Princess though.” Derpy confessed.

There was a pause when Vinyl tried to process what Derpy was saying to her. Such a humble and unassuming pony. She could have just stepped off of a spacecraft and trotted on in to Canterlot for all she knew.

“...Huh. Aren't we full of surprises Derpy? What I meant was, you were kneeling, pretty low in such a... Snobby public place.” She finished, under her breath.
“I'm sorry...Was that wrong of me...I'm just passing through...”Derpy said.
“No, no... It's something you do to show great respect to a pony. Something Princess Celestia is used to. Me on the other hand...I may be popular, but not THAT popular.” Vinyl laughed.
“I see...I had no idea. I've never met a Princess before.” Derpy replied.
“...Don't get touchy with them, they don't like that. They also like it if you kiss their hooves. Might help you if this is your first time meeting her.” Vinyl continued.

With a few steps back, Vinyl resumed walking down the road. Derpy followed, as if they were both going the same way.

“Speaking of hooves, I have an appointment at the spa down this way... You wouldn't happen to be coming along would you?” Vinyl inquired.
“Yeah, the stallion at the statue said I should...”

Vinyl Scratch didn't have this pony penned as the sort that should be let anywhere near a Princess, but then again, she couldn't read her at all. The two ponies made their way into the spa and Vinyl approached the desk. A strawberry blonde coloured pony was waiting at the other side, with a generous amount of make up on.

“Vinyl, excellent to see you, please take a seat. I will have somepony with you very soon. And you are?”

Derpy blinked, noticing the mares batted eyes were fixated upon her. Her gaze reminded Derpy of the kind of look that her old teacher used to give her when she knocked her chair over.

“...Derpy Hooves...Um...Here...” Derpy responded, placing the spa coupon on the rear of Vinyl's ticket in front of her.
“Very well, miss Hooves. The drop in service, for the kind of work you require... Deducting half of it for the coupon offer...Is 189 bits.” She stated.

Derpy looked around awkwardly, never having concluded that she would have to pay for anything. Her mother always paid the mare at the counter.

“I...I...Don't have any money...”Derpy said quietly.

Before the receptionist mare could reply, Vinyl was standing up on her rear hooves over the counter.

“I'll have you know, “The Hooves” is here with me. I don't like how you spoke to her either incidentally...” Vinyl said.
“Oh...I...Didn't realise miss Scratch...Please, you may both have deluxe packages, on me..!”

The exchange concluded, Derpy was left at the counter as Vinyl made her way to the spa recliner. Derpy followed shortly after with a look like she was still trying to work out what happened.

“Oh sit down you silly thing, don't worry about it.” Vinyl said.

Derpy trotted around Vinyl's recliner, still unsure of how to feel. She couldn't remember a time where a friend of hers just paid a big bill like that for her like it was nothing. She sat parallel to Vinyl, still looking at her.

“For goodness sake Derpy, say something! It's nothing, really. I make those kind of bits in an hour at the club...” Vinyl explained
“...Thanks...” Derpy eventually said.

Derpy looked over at how Vinyl was almost lying down, and did the same, propping her hooves up to match her. She watched the spa pony carefully as she carried a bottle of something over to Vinyl. She started to drip some of the contents onto Vinyl's hooves.

“Vinyl what is that pony doing to you?” Derpy asked.

Vinyl looked down at the spa pony, who seemed oblivious to the conversation as she began to knead at her hoof with her fore hooves. She turned to Derpy with a giddy expression.

“Mmmm....Heh, you really don't know? Just chill out, you'll like it. It's a massage. You'll be getting one for your wings too. Not me though, never had them!” Vinyl said.

Derpy noticed Vinyl as she seemed to be relaxing into her chair. It seemed odd that whatever that pony was doing could relax you like that. Before she knew it, a second spa pony came to attend to her own hooves, sitting at them. Derpy felt the cold oil on her hoof and dragged it away quickly.

“Hey, hey, relax Derpy... You'll love this. Man, to think I'm the girl to teach you about all this girly stuff. Heh, you remind me of me!” Vinyl laughed.

Derpy then slowly moved her hoof back and the spa pony took it into her hooves. She felt her press really firmly into it, but it didn't hurt. Instead it felt all warm and pleasant. Derpy murmured a little as her other little hoof prodded towards the spa pony, who actually looked up at her. The spa pony grinned at the sweet expression of the relaxing pony, continuing to work on her hooves with the oil.

“Anyone free for miss Hooves wings?” She asked

Vinyl smirked in Derpy's direction as she opened her eyes to find another pony touching her left wing. The same oily substance was applied to it's surface as another spa pony started to flex it. It was enough to make Derpy shiver into the plush black cushions of the recliner.

“Now you're getting into it Derpy...These ponies are here to make you look and feel wonderful. Courtesy of the Vinyl Scratch.” She said with a wry grin.

Derpy watched as the second pony took a seat beside her, using both of her hooves to press and work into the joints and muscles. Derpy couldn't help but moan a little in relief as the tension in her hard working wing and hooves was worked out. Clearly these two spa ponies were very good at their special talents.

“This is called a massage Derpy. They have ponies here to take care of everything for you. They'll trim your mane, preen your feathers and make your flank all smooth. I'm not much for make up, but it sure chills me out after spinning records into the early hours.” Vinyl said.
“Mmmassage... Mmmm I like it... It's like a muffin for my hooves...”She stated.

This had Vinyl giggling away at the ponies perpetually random yet profound remarks.

“You know, I really like you Derpy. You don't have an agenda in mind, you don't want to suck up to me and you don't care about what people think. I respect that.” Vinyl said.
“The Hooves, could you kindly turn onto your front for us?” A spa pony asked.

Doing as she was asked, Derpy let herself roll onto her front, her little wings held up for the staffs attention. Her mailbags were removed and placed to the side. The spa pony at her hooves began to rub from the bottom of her hooves along the back of her leg. The spa pony by her side stood up on her hind hooves and placed both of her fore hooves on Derpy's back. To Derpy's surprise. The pony stood on all fours upon her back, which made the pegasus pony yelp in shock.

“Oh ho, your getting your first Canterlot trot back rub. Heh, that's their specialty here. Your in good hooves Derpy. So what do you think of dubstep?” Vinyl asked.

From what Derpy could see, Vinyl was getting the far more mundane service of having her hooves pumiced. She wondered why she was the lucky pony that was getting assaulted. Derpy's eyes widened as the spa pony stood atop her. To be honest she never would have expected being jumped on top of to be a popular spa treatment. Then again, she had heard Rainbow Dash giggling about Rarity getting wrapped up in seaweed and put in mud bath. The more she thought about that, it seemed increasingly cool. The pony on her back was being very careful not to hurt her. Her hooves were clean and smooth and the intense pressure into her shoulder blades made her squeak a little in pleasure.

“...D-D-Dubstep? I-I-I have no idea....W-What that is...”Derpy managed through groans.
“Dubstep? It's bass is what it is. Sweet drops and a beat to trot to.”

Vinyl noticed Derpy's oblivious expression as she tried to explain herself. Her fore hoof was being held steady by the spa pony to her side as she pumiced it. She was so used to the feeling she barely even noticed that Derpy was fighting for her life opposite her.

“It's music Derpy! It's what I live for. You saw my cutie mark didn't you? It's what I do Derpy.”
“Oh right...Rarity gave me this ticket. I wasn't really sure what you were about, sorry...” Derpy replied.

Derpy felt the spa pony take hold of her wings and begin to work them again, stabilising herself on her back. The feeling of ecstasy shot up her spine as the amazing pony standing on her seemed to turn every bone and muscle in her back to putty.

“Don't be Derpy. I get frustrated with ponies who pretend to be my friends just to get a free ride. Or the other side of it which is my obsessed fan girls. Actually, that kind of attention I can live with.” She confessed, grinning.
“They treat you like a princess. I wonder what it's like...”Derpy pondered.

Vinyl by now was on her front also. The pony that was doing her filing then jumped straight onto her back, which elicited a moan, followed by hearty laughter.

“Mmmm I love this technique. It's totally as hardcore as my filthiest scratches.” She said.

Immediately realising that the pony opposite her had no idea what she was talking about, she simply turned to her.

“Oh you'll learn all about that stuff on the night...” She said with a grin.

The Derpy eyed pony blinked in response, the musical unicorns lingo flowing way above her head. She then thought of an idea that by now she had decided she wanted to try out.

“Umm speaking of filthy, Vinyl, you think I could go into the mud?” Derpy asked with a silly grin on her face.

Vinyl could see the look of wonderment and mischief in the pony, as her wings fluttered lightly, making the spa ponies job a little more difficult.

“Heh, you know what, that does sound like a laugh. I'll join you!” Vinyl said.

In response to this the spa ponies lined up beside their clients, allowing them to get up. Derpy's legs felt like they were quivering beneath her from the sensory overload the day had become. Vinyl strutted casually past Derpy down the hall, leaving Derpy looking at the assailant that just dismounted her. She smiled meekly up at her, her wings flapping a bit as they tingled.

“...Thanks! You're very good...Oh and you too, hoof lady. I feel all tingly and nice!” Derpy said.

The spa ponies didn't know how to respond, but merely gave a grateful nod. Derpy trotted along after Vinyl who was entering the mud room. Before the pair there was a pool cut into the floor, but instead of water, there was mud. With a shrug, Vinyl took a leap into it, displacing some of the mud, which splutted a little over the side. Derpy looked into the swirling expanse that seemed to almost swallow Vinyl Scratch, her hooves standing on the cold and smooth stone floor.

“Come on in then Derpy, It's totally gross!” She giggled.

Unable to resist it any longer, Derpy let her hooves spread in the air as she left the side of the pool. Falling through the air, she splashed right in, sinking into the deep mass of earthy warmth. She paddled around with her hooves in it's thick and heavy splodgyness, having the time of her life. Vinyl waded to the side where a spa pony had placed a tray. Upon it there were two cups of coffee.

“What do ya think Derpy? Isn't this the life?” She asked.

Derpy squealed a little as she tried to get used to the sensation of being in the mud. Vinyl took a sip of her white coffee with a nod to the spa pony as she watched Derpy splash around happily. Setting down her coffee, Vinyl picked up a blob of the mud and tossed it towards Derpy, who she nailed right on her head. Derpy turned around frantically with a faceful of mud as she could barely make out Vinyl laughing wickedly by the side of the pool. Balling up a blob of her own, she packed it with her hooves and heaved the slop at Vinyl. She tried to get out of the way, but still got hit on the side of the head. Vinyl took off her glasses and placed them on the side, now that they had mud on them. This, for the first time revealed her blood red irises, which was an unusual eye colour for a pony.

“Oh, it's on now Derpy, I'm going to get you!” Vinyl said.

Derpy fought against the mud trying to get away from Vinyl as she held mud above her head. Just as Vinyl descended on her, cornering Derpy, the mud fell apart, instead covering her own face and hair. Desperately trying to scoop it off her face, the mud fell apart to reveal Derpy giggling at her as she held the side of the pool. Vinyl couldn't help but laugh too, taking Derpy into her arms as they both got absolutely filthy.

“Oh Derpy, dude... You are a total hoot!” She said

In what seemed like mere minutes, Vinyl and Derpy enjoyed the rest of their mud bath as they relaxed with their coffees. Afterwards they hit the showers and got themselves spotless again with the luxurious products provided by the spa. After which they left the spa, thanking the ponies for the service. Now outside the spa, Vinyl walked Derpy Hooves up the trail to the gates to the castle.

“So how did that feel, Derpy?” Vinyl asked.
“...I feel like a muffin right now.” Derpy replied.

Vinyl couldn't get over the pony she seemed to be escorting now. She was so random and helpless. It made her wonder what on Earth she could have to do at the castle. The two ponies now approached the royal guard. The two granite grey unicorn ponies were encased in a fine gold encrusted plate. Their expression was stoic and absolute, their gaze locked upon the path. Not even when Vinyl and Derpy stood immediately before them did they even break their Zen like state.
Derpy walked sideways, looking at the guards from all angles. It was as if she was trying to figure out if they were real ponies.

“Halt. State your name and business.” They spoke in unison.

Derpy jumped as they finally spoke up, whimpering a little from the shock. They didn't seem like the kind of ponies anyone with an ounce of sense would cross.

“D-Derpy H-hooves...I-I have a p-parcel for the P-Princess...” She stammered.

Derpy then put her hoof in her mail bag, feeling like the guards would want to see proof. She produced the shining parcel with Celestia's cutie mark on it for them to see. The reaction from the guards was electric as they both immediately locked gazes with Derpy.

“Derpy Hooves. You are suspected of stealing the property of the monarchy. You will be detained for questioning.” One stated, plainly.

Vinyl Scratch suddenly threw herself back on to her hind hooves again before the guards in anger, Derpy huddling up next to her in fear.

“Thief? Derpy wouldn't hurt a fly you muscle head! Look, your scaring her!”

The royal guards now took a step forward as a warning, staring down both of them.

“You will both proceed with us, to the cells!” In a more threatening tone.

Vinyl stood her ground, spreading her hooves out across Derpy who was beneath her, shaking. Vinyl Scratch's horn glowed slightly as she used it's power to move her purple shades down off her nose. This revealed her blood red irises once more, sporting a maddened glare.

“Oh yeah? Bite me.” She stated, coldly, bearing her teeth.

Derpy hid her head down into the ground, her little hooves on top of it, fearing the worst. She just couldn't understand what was happening. She could feel the hoof of the royal guard touching her head as she cowered, looking up at the mighty stallions solemn glare. Having not demonstrated any violent behavior, he simply motioned for her to trot in front of him. The scared little pony did exactly what she was told, turning to her side, to see Vinyl Scratch completely suspended in the air. The guard had completely immobilised her and was using his immense magical capabilities to levitate her. She couldn't move an inch as she was taken into the castle. She found she couldn't even speak, as she was within an intense magical field. Derpy daren't speak as she looked concernedly at her friend. It was all her fault for getting her involved in this. She hadn't a clue why the guards were being mean to them, but now Vinyl was in trouble too. All was silent apart from the hooves of the guards and Derpy as her hoof clops became more hollow, crossing the main draw bridge. Looking either side of her, Derpy watched as the passed an increasing number of guards as they made their way into the depths of the castle. Through a few turns, they descended a staircase, which led them to what appeared to be magically reinforced cells. The guards placed both ponies inside and the aura surrounding Vinyl disappeared causing her to land on her rear, and her purple tints, on her lap. Derpy offered a look of great concern for the unicorn pony who seemed to be able to move again. She looked to Derpy and then immediately drew her attention to the royal guards who were by now leaving, with Derpy's parcel.

“...I-I'm fine. It doesn't hurt...I think that sort of treatment costs extra, right guys?” She cackled after them.

Derpy hadn't a clue what that meant, but she didn't care. She threw herself onto Vinyl, nuzzling into her. The tears she was holding back rolling down her cheeks.

“...I want mummy...!” She weeped.

Holding Derpy close she rubbed her cheek on her blonde hair, her hooves gripping her tightly. Whoever this mysterious pony was, she was a good soul. The two maintained their embrace upon the cold cell floor, dimly lit, surrounded by metal, crackling with energy. The only other sound in the air was Derpy's whimpering. In whatever time had passed, Derpy had felt a strange sensation, like she was floating in the air. She thought perhaps she had fallen asleep. When she opened her eyes once more she was in a completely different room, Vinyl Scratch beside her. They were sitting on a luxuriously plush crimson carpet and the grey royal guards from before were standing before them.
“Are we going to be asked questions now?” Derpy asked
“No, Derpy.. The magic that teleported us here is far far beyond anything I had ever felt Derpy. It couldn't have been the guards...” Vinyl replied.

Vinyl and Derpy then looked between the two guards, behind them. Towering over them in all her glory was Princess Celestia in all the beauty the statue promised and more. Derpy's eyes dried as she looked up at her. Her presence was both terrifyingly powerful yet endlessly inviting.

“You will do as I have willed, guards.” Celestia spoke.

On cue, the guards looked to the ponies, not as guards but ponies just as they were. Their focus was gone and their invincible demeanour was absent. The pair of them looked far more vulnerable than anypony dressed in that much armour had any right to be, as they stood in front of their Princess. They then, one at a time got onto their knees, shocking both ponies completely. They then bowed their heads in front of Vinyl and Derpy, who were looking at each other, each as perplexed as the other.

“These two, took a liberal approach to my order to find you, Derpy.” Celestia began.

Derpy's eyes widened as the Goddess addressed her directly. The air in the room was so intense at the moment she was completely speechless.

“They thought they were looking for a thief. A saboteur. They were actually looking for the post pony who accidentally took my parcel as given to her by the post office. My student, Twilight Sparkle informed me by magical letter, that there was a curious post pony with a big important job. It was not my will to have you apprehended by two overzealous busybodies...”Celestia revealed.

Vinyl Scratch was beginning to piece everything together now and was looking far more comfortable with the situation. She peered down at the guards who restrained her and startled Derpy.

“Pfft, that's right, muscle brains. Keep on going down, dude. I want your lips, on this hoof.” She cackled.
“Vinyl...!” Derpy said, blushing.

The Princess rolled her eyes as she watched as both guards in turn solemnly kiss her hoof. They would have done the same with Derpy if she hadn't retreated, embarrassed by the thought of being kissed at all. Vinyl on the other hand looked rather smug. Derpy couldn't help but giggle at the spectacle.

“Oh, I think you're entitled to a little fun...” Celestia said.

The guards lifted their heads to look at Vinyl and Derpy to speak.

“I am deeply sorry for my hasty accusation, Derpy Hooves.” One said.
“And I am very sorry for restraining miss Scratch and detaining you both.” The other said.

Vinyl and Derpy nodded in response as the two men apoligised for their part in the proceedings.

“...It's okay, don't worry...” Derpy said
“Well I suppose you're forgiven. Just be glad I'm feeling nice.” Vinyl remarked.
“...Oh...Mr...Instead of a hoof kiss, you can get muffin for me.” Derpy added.

Celestia smiled at the young mares sweet proposal. Stomping her fore hoof in a deliberately melodramatic fashion.

“You heard her! A muffin!” Celestia commanded with a less than straight face.

The royal guard took a moment to absorb that and nodded twice in response to her. Both guards got up to leave, trotting towards the doorway, bowing their heads to Celestia to be informed of their punishment.

“Guards, today you have learned a lesson you must not forget. You will demonstrate subservience and humility, not only to me, but to all of my ponies! You are here to serve Equestria under my reign. As such, I will not hear of my men throwing wild accusations around and detaining citizens out of some flawed sense of duty! Your attempt to impress me has instead disgraced you. You have been chastised for your misdeeds and you have been mercifully forgiven. In light of this, your actions have been excused. You will not be punished further. You will obtain the muffin for this pony and resume work, to serve my people! You are dismissed.” Celestia commanded

The guard ponies then hurriedly left the room, their armour clinking down the hall. With her long elegant legs of brilliant white, Celestia strode closer to Vinyl and Derpy. Even the defiant Vinyl knew to kneel before her and bow her head. Unfortunately Derpy had forgotten because she was so mesmerised by the princesses tail. Which she was now hugging into, kissing it. Celestia tensed up, at a loss for words as she turned around to look at Derpy. It was a very unfamiliar feeling, was a hug, to Celestia. Vinyl peered up briefly and saw Derpy, with a rather horrified look on her face.

“Hooves, Derpy, not tail...!” She said.
“Oh, oh I'm sorry...” Derpy said absent mindedly.

Derpy then trotted over to Princess Celestia's leg and wrapped herself around it, hugging it instead of the tail. Vinyl Scratch let her fore hoof hit her face in disbelief. By now though, Celestia's pose had began to soften as she sat upon her rear, her sparkling, flowing tail curling around Derpy. She looked down silently at her creation, with great pride. She offered her hoof to Vinyl, who reluctantly joined Derpy in the silent and precious moment. After an indeterminable period of time Celestia stood up, her tail straightening out as she stepped slightly away from them.

“Derpy Hooves, you have given me a great gift today. It is for me to remember, that even a Goddess can learn something from a mortal pony...This will be my letter to Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia said with a smile.

Vinyl trotted closer to the Princess, bending down with her face to the floor, kissing her rear hoof as she had her back turned. Derpy watched carefully and did as she did with the other rear hoof. As Celestia felt them, she felt a stirring with Derpy, her thigh glowing as upon it appeared her very own cutie mark. There were bubbles placed delicately upon her flank. Celestia turned to Derpy, noticing her new mark. The mark itself bore no clear definition upon first glance.

“...Good ponies. Derpy I can sense you will have questions for me. We will retire to my break room to discuss it. Vinyl I know you have other responsibilities, which I will not keep you from. Be well, my loyal pony.”

Derpy turned to Vinyl, who merely nodded in her direction, opening her arms. Derpy quickly entered her embrace, nearly knocking her over.

“Yeah, I have work Derpy... Though I'll defo be looking forward to seeing you at my DJPON3 gig. You are coming right?” Vinyl asked.

Derpy nodded, hugging her one last time as Vinyl broke the embrace and made her way out of the castle. Derpy turned to the grand alicorn, following her beautiful wavy tail as it swayed when she walked, Derpy swaying behind it.

Why bubbles?

Chapter 5:

The room in which Derpy was lead to had a ceiling that must have been at least twenty feet tall. At the apex of the room there was a stained glass window, which flooded the room with coloured light. The scene that was depicted was of Princess Celestia and her sister, Princess Luna standing atop the mountain where the castle now stood. They gazed over the land and the ponies they did preside over with a contemplative expression, their hooves crossing each other as they stood together. The sound of clinking broke Derpy's focus as the two royal guards from before appeared from where they entered. They waited on Derpy, their heads bowed.

“Your muffin, miss Hooves...” They offered.

At the other side of the room, Celestia turned around and sat on one of her decadent silk lined arm chairs, stuffed with alicorn feathers. Derpy took the muffin the guards offered her, which by a stroke of luck was also a blueberry one.

“Thanks guys, see you later...!” Derpy answered.

As they turned to leave, Derpy's attention turned back to the Princess, who was stroking her hoof to her chin thoughtfully, waiting for the guards to vacate the area.

“It was a very nice thing you did Derpy, but you have to understand... We have to keep it to ourselves, for a number of reasons.”

Derpy nodded quickly towards the Princess, with the muffin in her hoof. Even though she thought it was really cool being able to hug the Princess, she respected her wishes.

“Ok Princess, I wont tell anyone. I just hope you have someone to hug. They always cheer me up, sometimes more than muffins.” She said.

“...What you say is very true. Maybe there will come a time where I wont need to be so careful. But we should talk about your cutie mark.”

Derpy hoped that did happen, because she could tell in the brief moment they shared, The Princess missed being hugged. The regal alicorn sighed silently to herself, sometimes finding herself longing for the simple life of one of her mortals.

“As you know, all things come from me, as does the cutie mark on your thigh. However, I do not use my powers to read cutie marks. Their purpose Derpy is to reward and promote living your life to it's fullest. Fillies will work hard and try all kinds of things to earn them. It is then down to them to discover what they mean, and who they are as a pony. Sometimes it's plain to see, other times it is less so. This is but the beginning of your journey of self discovery.”

Derpy sat on the rug, her tail flopping from side to side as she absorbed every word the Princess said. She finished the last of her muffin as the Princess unwrapped the parcel the royal guards had given to her from Derpy. As the wrappings fell away, a folded blanket was revealed. The alicorn let it unfold in the air using her magic, to reveal a hand stitched image of the full moon. Standing before it was the same dark alicorn present on the stained glass ceiling, Princess Luna.

“Nightmare Moon! She's not back is she?” Derpy asked frantically.
“No Derpy! You mustn't call her that... Princess Luna, my sister... Seems to persist in returning my gifts. She has been spending her time on the surface of her moon. I used my magic to send her this gift as she lay on it's surface. Apparently she sent it back, not to me, but to the post office. She couldn't even bear to visualise me long enough to deliver it directly.” Celestia said.
“But why isn't she with you Princess?Why doesn't she take your gifts?” Derpy asked.
“You must know that I banished her many years ago, after she tried to overthrow me as Ruler of Equestria. She was sent to the moon in disgrace. I assumed responsibility for her moon, my sun and Equestria itself. Since I allowed her to return, she seems to have been having trouble returning to normal life despite my student Twilight's best efforts. It saddens me how she chooses to isolate herself rather than live by my side.” Celestia said.

Derpy looked down at the floor. She knew what it felt like, not being able to fit in. Even if the mean ponies didn't mock her to her face, she could feel them. She could feel their eyes staring into her, making comments about her eyes or her clumsiness. Sometimes it hurt more when they said nothing.

“...The ponies kneel and bow to my sister. They would do whatever she commanded of them. But not out of love for her. They do it because they fear Nightmare Moon...This however is my burden to bear, because it was me who failed to hear her concerns, that drove her to madness and then I exiled her to the moon for it...For one thousand years.”

Celestia then got up from her chair and pointed her horn towards Derpy. It began to emit a violet light, which caused Derpy to levitate off the ground.

“I didn't mean to ramble like that...The least I can do is give you a free ride home...Take care, Derpy Hooves.” Celestia said

“...Okay then. I hope things work out!” Derpy answered, disappearing from the castle in a blinding light.

“...Me too... And so long as there are ponies like you around, Luna may see sense yet.” Celestia said to herself.

First Class sat with his Hooves propped up on his desk, browsing through a collection of envelopes that laid neatly on his desk. He had a rubber stamp in his mouth and was marking all of “return to sender” mail. Just then a small grey pony fell straight on top of the pile of envelopes, sending them flying throughout the office. The impact of the pony made First Class fall straight off his chair. As he looked up from the floor Derpy Hooves sat before him, sporting a nauseous expression, her tail crackling with magical energy.

“Goodness... So it is true...” He said.

Derpy peered down at the startled stallion from the edge of the desk, tilting her head curiously.

“Sir, why are you on the floor?” Derpy asked, quite sincerely.

Quickly getting back onto his feet, First Class straightened out his hair and cleared his throat, folding his arms.

“Well, probably the very same reason your standing on my desk Derpy. But never mind that. I hear you went all the way to Canterlot on royal mail duties!”

Derpy trotted to the side of the desk and jumped off, patting the ground nervously with her hoof. She knew she was about to get in a lot of trouble.

“...Derpy, look at me... I'm proud of you. I know you have very rarely stepped outside of Cloudsdale or Ponyville. You really demonstrated the kind of mail mare qualities that...” He stopped for a moment, looking at Derpy's thigh.

“A cutie mark! You must be so pleased with yourself...Goodness, Derpy, you shouldn't be moping around here, go and tell your friends you silly mare.” First Class said with a smile.
“Oh, I guess your right. Thanks sir, I'll see you later!” Derpy replied

Leaving the post office, Derpy trotted out into the daylight upon the fluffy clouds the town was built on. Now that she was back in her home town of Cloudsdale, she breathed a sigh of relief. Only now had it hit her, the gravity of the adventure she had today. It had all been a blur, looking back, to when she set off until now. There was a faint fluttering noise as the ticket that had been weighed down by Celestia's parcel, was leaving the mailbag in the breezy high altitude. Noticing it too late, Derpy dove after it, landing in a heap as she tripped over herself, watching in horror as it disappeared over the edge of the cloud, fluttering down to the ground.

“Nooo! My ticket...!” She cried.

Picking herself up as fast as she could, Derpy leapt off of the cloud after it, trying to keep track of the ticket. Now that she knew who Vinyl Scratch was, and was in fact fond of her, she simply had to get it. This could be the last time she sees Vinyl for months. By the time she sees her again, she wouldn't even remember her, she thought. Landing upon the surface of Equestria, in the town of Ponyville, a rather eccentrically dressed blue pony sported a pointed hat. It had a design representative of the night sky, in purple, with a matching cape. She appeared to be playing with a bit of paper.

“My ticket! You got it for me, thanks so-” Derpy began.

With a flamboyant flourish, the pony swept her hoof through her cape, in Derpy's direction as she interjected.

“Why...This is the ticket of the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie!” She boomed.

For once Derpy felt like the most usual pony in the world as the pony stood with both her hooves in the air, her cape flowing behind her in the wind. Finally bringing her gaze down upon Derpy once more she sported a cocky grin.

“Trixie thinks that whatever Trixie finds, Trixie may keep. Who is to say that Trixie didn't purchase this ticket with her VAST wealth attained from her ADORING fans?” She said.

Derpy trotted in place with each of her hooves in quick succession, flattening the grass beneath her as she whined back.

“B-But Rarity gave me that! Vinyl Scratch really likes me now, I want to see her!” She cried.
“This is not the concern of the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie! Derp-eyed pony may beg Trixie all it wants and Trixie will allow it, for it amuses Trixie!”

This pony sure was a piece of work, sporting an ego too big for even her silly oversized hat. Even though Derpy certainly didn't like this pony so far, her best chance of getting the ticket was to fill that ego of hers. As the blue pony toyed with the ticket in her hooves, she levelled with Derpy, still beaming with inane glee.

“Well, does derp-eyed pony want the ticket or doesn't it? The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie hasn't got all day!” She boomed.

Derpy let herself fall onto her knees, playing into the strange ponies hands. She would have to see where this was going before she made any rash decisions. Besides, if she's half as powerful as she claims, however doubtful it was, Derpy didn't want to find out the hard way.

“GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie....May I have my ticket back please?” She asked.

With a ludicrously over blown laugh, Trixie raised her hooves into the air once more as if for dramatic effect, before replying to the increasingly bewildered pegasus pony.

“Trixie is amused by derp-eyed pony! But Trixie likes Vinyl Scratch and her filthy tracks!”
“Come on Trixie, please. She was really nice to me when I met her. I need all the friends I can get.” Derpy said.

“Derp-eyed pony will work for Trixie if it wants it's ticket. Trixie will take it to her show, where it will be her loyal assistant!”

From across the road, Derpy could hear the giggling of fillies. Turning to them, she spotted the Cutie Mark Crusaders bounding toward them. Scootaloo greeted Derpy with a warm hug as Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were carrying a banner, but they stopped when they saw Trixie.

“Oh Derpy! We heard you went all the way to Canterlot on a delivery. Wha...Is that a cutie mark?” She gasped.

The two other crusaders turned as soon as they heard that. Looking at the banner they made, then at each other, they hid it behind their backs.

“What's that you have there? Is that for me?” Derpy asked.
“Don't concern yourself with the Derp eyed pony or it's cutie mark! It has sworn eternal loyalty to the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie! It will come to Trixie's show! It's cutie mark reveals it to be the relatively average bubble pony!It is destined to meet with Trixie and perform with her the AMAZING bubble illusion!” Trixie exclaimed.

It didn't seem very likely to Derpy that her cutie mark was about being this ponies assistant. The three fillies looked at Derpy inquisitively as she merely shrugged in response. By this time she had realised there was no point trying to rationalise Trixie's behaviour. All she knew is this pony was clearly consumed by the persona she had created. As demeaning as it was, Derpy recognised the passion in her eyes and couldn't help but smile. As obnoxious as she was, she did have a certain charm about her.

“That's right Scoots, I'm going to help Trixie with her magic just now, you're all welcome to come and see.” She said.

The crusaders, by their expression certainly seemed concerned for Derpy, but the promise of their friend being in a show excited them. Derpy seemed to be doing fine, so they were pleased for her.

“Wow, a magic show? And your in it?” Applebloom asked.

Trixie merely smiled and posed proudly before her fans. Derpy got back onto her hooves again to trot next to her. If anything, it would certainly be an experience working for this most unique pony.

“When are you on? I wanna come see Derpy.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Yeah, me too, Derpy is a born star!” Applebloom chimed in.
“I wouldn't miss it for anything!” Scootaloo added.
“Trixie is sure the orange chicken and her friends mean 'to see the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie!' Trixie will be performing in an hour...With derp-eyed pony.” Trixie said.

After excusing themselves, Trixie and Derpy retired to her tent. Trixie sat upon a portable stool placed upon the grass, with her hooves placed upon her lunch table. Derpy simply sat next to her, wondering what went on inside the head of the pony sitting by her side. She seemed every bit as lonely as Derpy, despite her charade. Trixie pointed to the juice box by her hooves on the table.

“Trixie requires sustenance to prepare for her performance.” She plainly stated.

Ignoring the fact that Trixie could have easily gotten it herself, Derpy simply picked it up in her mouth and deposited in Trixie's waiting hoof. It was almost as if demanding menial tasks of others and building herself up was all she could do to make herself feel better.

“Trixie's hooves are tired, derp-eyed pony will rub them.” Trixie commanded.

Beginning to wonder what her job description was specifically, Derpy however walked back around the table to take Trixie's hooves into hers. The extent of her knowledge of this treatment was simply from watching the spa pony do it to her. Not entirely sure what she was doing, she squished the stumpy appendage within her hooves grasp. It, like the rest of Trixie's body was a brilliantly bright blue colour. Whatever Derpy was doing, she managed to produce a slight groan within the other pony.

“Trixie thinks derp-eyed pony is good at this. Trixie wonders if derp-eyed pony works in Ponyville spa?” Trixie managed to ask.

Her hooves were fairly clean Derpy found as she worked on them, only noticing a slight scent about them. Turning her attention to Trixie once more, she shook her head.

“Not really Trixie. But shouldn't we be talking about the magic we're doing?” She asked.

Trixie placed the juice box down and stretched her fore hooves behind her head. She groaned as she stretched, crossing her hooves as she did.

“Derp-eyed pony should worry about Trixie's GREAT and POWERFUL hooves and leave the magic to her. When Trixie wants something on stage, Trixie will use derp-eyed pony. Trixie will perform the magic.” She said.

Trixie looked down, almost surprised as the unbelievably kind pony continued to do what she said. She went through assistants fairly regularly and she figured she may as well get a hoof rub out of it before this one left. She pondered quietly as the mare worked on her hooves how things could have went if she wasn't just working for her. She may have made a great friend, or even more.

“Trixie thinks she is beginning to like you, Derpy. Trixie hopes Derpy will perform with Trixie more” Trixie said.

Derpy noticed for the first time Trixie had actually used her name, which she was certainly pleased to hear. Her hair was tickling Trixie's hoof, so Derpy brushed it aside with the rest of her golden mane. Today she wouldn't truly discover what it was like to be on stage, but it would be worth it just to be there and to earn her tickets back from Trixie to see Vinyl.

“Come now Derpy, Trixie had magic to make!” She said.

Trixie and Derpy left the tent to start to put props onto the stage. When it was time for the show Derpy couldn't help but wave at the crowd as she came out, the Cutie Mark Crusaders cheering for her. Throughout the show Derpy was sawn in half, levitated in a giant magic bubble and disappeared using magic. It was a great success, with many ponies cheering for Trixie and Derpy's own fan club cheering for her, now holding up the banner they had been making. It featured a big picture of Derpy flying with her mailbags on her back, with the words “Cutie Mark Crusaders” written over her. Also, Derpy's recently obtained cutie mark had been added onto her thigh. As soon as she saw it, Derpy leapt off the stage next to the little fillies, nuzzling them affectionately.

“Derpy! Come back over here so Trixie can give you her next WONDROUS location in her MARVELOUS tour!” Trixie yelled.

Derpy at this point was placing Sweetie Belle into his mail bag. She fit perfectly, as did Applebloom in the other. Scootaloo rode on Derpy's back, her little wings flapping in anticipation.

“Sorry Trixie, I made a promise. I'll see you around!” Derpy yelled back.

Trixie looked on as Derpy began to trot away with the fillies. The most obedient assistant she ever had and more notably, the closest thing to a friend she ever had. For once she was speechless. Applebloom gasped as the unpredictable pegasus pony began to trot and build to a gallop, leaping into the air with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Sweetie Belle held the banner on Derpy's side so it fluttered on the wind behind them. Applebloom looked down at Equestria as it began to grow distant below them. As a land pony, she would never normally experience what flight felt like, the wind blasting through their hair. Scootaloo held onto Derpy's back as she flapped her own little wings in excitement. All three of the crusaders squealed in excitement as they enjoyed the spontaneous unscheduled flight above the clouds.

“We were so right to choose you as our mascot Derpy! Your the coolest pony we know!” Scootaloo yelled over the wind.
“I love the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Trotting through life, through everything, together!” Derpy yelled.

After the adrenaline rush and the giggles passed, Derpy merely hovered gently in and out of the aether, so everyone could enjoy Equestria from a pegasus eye view.

“I can see Canterlot from up here. That's where the princess lives right?” Applebloom asked.
“That's right. She's nice. She has good muffins and gives great hugs too.” Derpy answered.

Scootaloo couldn't begin to imagine why Derpy would know know that, but assumed Derpy was just talking about a dream or something. Only just realising what she had said, Derpy was certainly hoping nopony took it seriously, giggling to make it seem like it was a joke. They flew around the skies until she thought it might start to get dark and probably time the fillies got home. Derpy took them down and back to their headquarters at the tree house. All of the ponies thanked Derpy for the ride as they jumped out of her mailbags and off of her back.

“Did you know, Sweetie Belle, a really famous unicorn pony is coming to Ponyville tonight?” Scootaloo said.
“Oh yeah, that's right. She was called DJ PON3 I think.” Sweetie Belle replied.

Instantly, Derpy Hooves heart sank. She had just remembered that she had forgotten to pick up the tickets to the Club from Trixie even after doing all that work for her. She turned to her filly friends, saying her goodbyes, trying to seem as happy as she was just moments ago.

Special talent (Final chapter)

Chapter 6:

It would seem that she would just have to go home too. Trotting away slowly, Derpy looked up into the sky for the patch of clouds she liked to enter Ponyville from.

“The night is still young, Derpy.” Derpy heard.

Turning to her right where she heard the voice, Trixie trotted towards her. She was holding the ticket in her hooves. Derpy gasped and quickly trotted over to her. Trixie held the ticket too high for Derpy to reach.

“Derpy can beg for the ticket, so Derpy can see Vinyl.” Trixie said grinning.

Derpy looked up at the ticket, looking a little disappointed as Trixie held it out of reach.

“Heh, Trixie is just teasing. Is Derpy sure that Vinyl is just a friend? Derpy sure did a lot today to make sure Derpy can see Vinyl again.” Trixie said

The two ponies trotted in the direction of the grand function hall as Trixie gave her the ticket, Derpy trying to think about what Trixie had suggested.

“But Trixie she is just a friend. She was really nice to me, she stood up for me and protected me.” Derpy finally said.
“Vinyl certainly does seem like a nice catch...” Trixie remarked.

Making their way to the doors of the function hall, Derpy passed by the pony bouncer, flashing her ticket. Derpy looked back at the pony who had been kind enough to walk her there. A familiar wicked grin met her face as she produced her own ticket to show the bouncer. Derpy was awestruck that the pony would have the nerve to place so much value on the ticket when she had one of her own. It was clear that Trixie had spent the whole day simply amusing herself with Derpy.

“What's that look for? Don't act like you didn't have fun with Trixie!” Trixie said.

Derpy shook her head and returned Trixie's mischievous smile with a smile of her own as they entered the club together. The hall was decorated with blue fluorescent lights as Derpy descended onto the main dance floor. To their surprise, nopony was to be seen. That is apart from the pony standing in front of a huge amplifier.

“Vinyl! You doing good?” Derpy asked,
“Brilliant Derpy! We're going to tear this place down.”
Vinyl Scratch, flaunting her usual wild blue hair and eccentric purple tints made her way towards Derpy and her friend, raising her hoof about to Derpy's eye level. Simply looking at it, Derpy tilted her head.

“You never bro hoofed a pony before?” She asked.

Trixie then picked up Derpy's fore hoof and clopped it against Vinyl’s, smiling at her.

“Kinda expected more ponies to come here, Vinyl. What’s going on with that?” Derpy asked.
“Well it's the same reason it's so silent in here Derpy, I'm still setting up. I told my bouncer only to let you in and anypony else that seemed to be with you. Speaking of which, pleased to meet you...?” Vinyl said.
Trixie scoffed at the idea that a pony hadn't heard of her before. Vinyl just looked right back at her with a blank expression.

“It's Trixie, the GREAT and POWERFUL. Anypony would think I was in deep space!” She said.
“...Heh, you fell for it. Of course I know who you are! I think I saw you in Canterlot when I was buying some hardware. Deep space huh? What I wouldn't give to get a gig in deep space, scratch some beats for some alien ponies.” Vinyl replied

Derpy meanwhile was looking at the equipment that stood by the dance floor. Pacing around to her Disc Jockey booth, Vinyl summoned Trixie over to look too.

“What we have back here, is our LCD music visualiser which will turn all our tunes into sweet background effects. These are our speakers that'll be carrying the brunt of our tunes. But then when we turn around, we have our mixer, cross fader, turntables and of course our vinyls. On the other side of this little booth is my brutal bass cannons. Like all good artillery, fully loaded to totally obliterate any poor ponies we put in front of them! It's going to rock!” Vinyl explained

Vinyl had the impression that she had lost the ponies somewhere along the tour, especially Derpy who was fiddling with a curious device off to the side of the room. As she prodded it with her hoof, it began to whirr, releasing a stream of bubbles into the air. She gasped and followed them up into the air, trying to catch them as the machine continued to unleash them.

“Trixie can hear ponies outside. Trixie wonders if Vinyl Scratch is ready for them..!” Trixie challenged.
“DJPON3 is always ready to lay some beats down! Now put that bubble machine off would you? It might take a while to loosen these ponies up enough until their on your awesome wavelength Derpy.” She said.

Trotting over to her booth, Vinyl fiddled with her vinyl collection to find something to put on. In mere minutes, the ponies had began to trot onto the dance floor. They were dressed in zany and brightly coloured clothes, some even wearing the stripy socks that are a craze in Manehatten at the moment. Some of the ponies carried glow sticks in their teeth or wore them around their neck. Vinyl let the hall fill out a bit before she tapped her mic and put it on.

“Good evening mares and gentlecolts! You've arrived at DJPON3's dubstep drop zone! Are you ready to be consumed by the power of music?!” Vinyl yelled over the mic.

As the last of the ponies entered the hall, they cheered back at Vinyl in anticipation. Vinyl placed the record onto her turntable, placing the needle upon it and fading it in. Some lax and melodic electronic music started to play, the ponies on the dance floor swaying and trotting in place. Trixie had walked over to the middle of the dance floor and had began move rhythmically to the beat. Derpy on the other hand was looking more nervous, looking up at Vinyl, unsure of what to do with herself. Vinyl called her over and she jumped up on top of her booth. Turning the mic off for a moment to talk to her.

“This is probably your first time right?” Vinyl asked.
“...Yeah. I don't know how to dance.” She replied.

Letting out a familiar cackle, Vinyl moved her hoof across the dance floor, indicating the ponies before her. Some were simply jumping up and down, and others simply looked like they were going to fall down.
“Does it look like ANY of these ponies know how to dance? Here, I'm about to drop some bass through my girls here, watch me knock them over like bowling pins!” Vinyl said.

The track filling the dance floor began to build in pitch and it started to buckle and distort. Just as it reached it's peak, Vinyl activated her bass cannons and they thumped out sounds so low and loud that it seemed to cause the floor to shake. Then Vinyl used her hoof on her turntable in combination with the mixer to distort the bass savagely. Keeping her hooves busy in her booth, Vinyl played with the melody of the track and the thump of the bass to match the rhythm flawlessly. Derpy watched in amazement as her friend controlled the music, Vinyl enjoying her awe struck expression. The other ponies were lapping the music right up, stomping the dance floor hard in time with the track. As Derpy looked upon her friend in the booth, she could tell she was totally lost in her creative flow, her hooves working the intricate panel instinctively. The music got louder and deeper as it went into a second drop, Derpy leaping up as the bass hit her. After she was over the initial shock she couldn't help but giggle as Vinyl had the track screech and stutter, making all kinds of indescribable noises over it.

“Looks like your starting to feel it! This Derpy, is doing it is what I mean when I say, filthy!” Vinyl yelled from behind her booth.

As the night went on, Vinyl continued to place dubstep records on for all the ponies, adding her personal touch to each one. After a while, Vinyl pointed Derpy towards her bubble machine, which she put on. There was a whoop of excitement as the bubbles began to flow out of it, the other ponies bouncing up and down playfully as if they were fillies. When they were between tracks, Vinyl asked Derpy over again.

“I think it'd be a cool idea if we made you a special mix for the next track! All I need you to do, is say your name, something you like and I dunno a dedication or something.”Vinyl said.

Derpy thought for a moment. She'd love to be a piece of music for everyone to dance to, but she could feel the huge pressure of having to follow Vinyl. Derpy moved closer to the mic Vinyl was holding and spoke into it.

“Uhhh... My name is Derpy Hooves... I like hugs and muffins and nice ponies... And mummy” She said.

To Derpy's surprise, the mic didn't seem to transmit her voice through the speakers. Instead, it seemed to record onto Vinyl’s other turntable.

“Listen up everypony, the Derpy Hooves has kindly offered to sing for us!” Vinyl said.

Derpy didn't remember actually saying she was going to sing, and was growing increasingly nervous as Vinyl began to build a beat from scratch. After a few reps of the beat, just as Derpy was about to come in, she heard her own voice over the speakers.

“Muffin...Derpy muffin... Nice ponies... My name is mummy!” The recording said.

Derpy listened in horror as Vinyl played around with the recordings, mixing them about, messing with the pitch and making her skip like a broken record.

“D-D-D-Derpy Hooves. Hooves. Hooves. Nice pony likes hugs.” The recording said.

Vinyl made her voice match the beat she was making and made it seem like she was singing using the pitch. However she hadn't noticed it's effect on Derpy, who was getting very embarrassed She cut the track and looked concernedly at her friend. As the two ponies met each other gaze, the track died down, revealing what was the sound of a room full of laughing ponies. Tears filled Derpy's eyes as she began to flee the hall.

“Derpy, come back!” Trixie shouted.
“...Derpy! Their not laughing at you, but with you!” She yelled after her.

However Derpy wasn't laughing, and was in fact fleeing straight out the door. Jumping straight over her booth, Vinyl galloped out of the gig after Derpy, Trixie following right behind her. Derpy had flown into the air, flying blindly as tears filled her eyes. Trixie and Vinyl tried desperately to keep up as they saw her fly over the dangerous Everfree forest. Completely unable to see, Derpy found herself connecting with a solid object, a humongous griffin as it flew back to its nest. She was so small compared to it, the giant beast barely even felt it. Whacking into it's side, she lost control completely, helplessly trying to slow her rapid descent with her wings. She tumbled in the air and hit the ground, hard, a sickening snap reverberating around the clearing. Derpy screamed out in pain as she convulsed on the ground. Both wings had snapped on impact with the ground, sending startling jolts of pain up her spine. Now on her side, she was crying uncontrollably, lying in the clearing amongst the moonlit grass.

“Why...? Why am I different....” She sobbed to no one

Her useless wings hanging pitifully as she painfully sat up, she could see a pond a few feet from her. She trotted slowly and painfully towards it, looking into it and seeing herself reflected in it. Her eyes seemed to be looking at two completely opposing directions as usual. She wiped away her tears from them, the last few drops falling into the pool, making little ripples. As the ripples cleared, she noticed the reflection of what was a full moon. She knew a mare that had felt alone for a long long time, much like she did for most of her life. Desperately, Derpy got onto her little knees and gazed up at the actual moon as she could see it in the sky. She held her fore hooves together, trying to talk through the sickening pain in her back.

“Princess Luna, Goddess Luna... How do you do it? How do you cope with feeling alone...” She sobbed.

Looking back into the pool she sighed, drying her eyes completely with her hooves. The night sky somehow seemed to flow and dance in the reflection, a pair of eyes forming within the galaxies. In fear, she turned around to see that the dark mare, wearing the night sky itself in her mane, loomed over her.

“That's it, little pony, the look of absolute terror in your eyes as you cower before us... Don't pretend you are any different to those who fear Nightmare Moon.” Luna spoke.

Derpy was a little afraid, but she shook her head, bowing lower towards Luna. She bent down as low as she could, to kiss Princess Luna’s hooves. Princess Luna noticed the blood trickling all over her subjects spine and wings, shattered bone piercing her tender flesh. With the slight glow of the horn of the alicorn, the wings fell numb, their bones instantly repairing themselves by the power of the Goddess. Derpy gasped as she felt it, her wings now able to move again.

“Thank you, thank you so much, Princess...” she said, still kissing.

“So you would have us believe that there is still a pony who loves us? You claim that you bow to me out of love and adoration and not because I could break every bone in your body in a second with my horn?” Luna asked.

Derpy stopped for a moment and looked up at the huge alicorn. She would believe readily that the magic this winged legend was capable of that and far worse.

“No, Princess. I know you wouldn't do that. I know you're just Luna and the dumb stories about you are all just from mean ponies.” Derpy said.
“Yes... We felt that you were different. We knew that you knew what it felt like to have a pony judge you based on stories and how they look.”

Derpy flapped her newly repaired wings as every ounce of the shattering pain had disappeared. She stood upright before the Princess with an empathetic smile.

“...But there are a lot of nice ponies too. Ponies that see past what you look like. Ponies that like me better than I like me sometimes. Sometimes I can't see the good in me, like right now I mean...” Derpy said.
“Come now, child, what is it that is on your mind.” Luna said.
“All the other ponies have a special talent. All I can do is derp around and weird everyone out. What do bubbles have to do with any of this?” She said.

Luna sits by Derpy's side, raising her hoof, to point at the pool they sat by. As she pointed at it a thousand multicoloured bubbles slowly erupted from it, frothing over the edges of the pool. One of the bubbles approached Luna and she caught it with her enchanted hoof, simply sitting between the two ponies as Derpy gazed into it.

“A bubble, Derpy. You like them don't you?” She asked.
“Yeah I do, but that isn't a talent! I love muffins too, that means just as little.” She said.
“And why do you love muffins?” Luna asked.
“I love muffins because they are squishy and they taste good...” Derpy said.
“Very good, now what about bubbles exactly?” She asked.
“...I don't know. I don't know what a bubble is, but I know it makes me excited. They make me happy, but I don't know why.” Derpy answered.
“Then it seems to me you have more in common than you think. I could tell you what a bubble is and why it's properties stimulate you, but if you gave that description to a pony who had never saw bubbles, would it justify it?” Luna asked
“...No, they'd have to see it for themselves... I don't have to understand it. Ponies don't have to understand me. And if I explained myself to them, it wouldn't help.” Derpy said.
“I think you're beginning to see. One does not need to understand something to be touched by it. Your cutie mark is a stream of bubbles. You, like the bubbles are a wonder of nature, a truly special pony, that you may only appreciate if you don't try to understand it. If you need to explain a bubble to someone, they will never understand, just like you. What we are talking about, is the essence of all magic. Your special talent can't be understood, only because it is the most special of all. Stop worrying about it and live your life, because what makes you special has been with you since you were a filly. Your friends don't understand you, but they don't need to any more than they need to understand bubbles. They love you deeply, they care for you and they appreciate you and that is all that matters.” Luna explained.

Derpy was quiet for a moment as she tried to keep up with the philosophical ponies words.

“I'm just Derpy Hooves... You either get me or you don't... My special talent, is being special.” She said.

Luna smiled at the young pony as she finally got what she was trying to say.

“How did you get so smart Princess? I could never have worked that out...” Derpy said.
“You did work it out, child. I just agreed with you...Oh and a millennium on the moon gives you time to contemplate such things. Even if for a moment you felt like you would be better off alone, it couldn't be farther from the truth. Be proud, Derpy Hooves, you're radiance is potent enough to rehabilitate this stubborn Goddess...” Luna said.
“Your sister really misses you.” Derpy said.

Luna then lowered her horn to Derpy and used its power carry her onto her vast dark back. Derpy leaned forward, holding some of Luna's mane, startled that she was riding one of the rulers of Equestria.

“And we're going to go and see her...I miss her too...Right after we see your friends.”

Luna's horn glowed as she looked around the Everfree forest, amongst the thousands of trees and the calls of the animals that lived in it. With a small squat, the Goddess flattened the earth beneath her causing a shock wave that devastated the nearby trees as she sprung straight into the sky at an impossible height. Hanging on tightly to the Princesses mane, it seemed to stabilise her and keep her on her mount as she crashed through the air, landing softly on the ground. Sure enough, she landed just short of two grumbling ponies trudging up a weedy hill.

“Trixie can't believe she's risking her life for a mere assistant in the Everfree forest!” Trixie said
“You can't fool me with that! She's a lot more to you than that, otherwise, why would you be here?Looks like somepony is learning about friendship... Or is it love?” Vinyl teased.

Trixie gave a mortified look to Vinyl, who just laughed playfully, that is until she saw derpy at the top of the hill on top of Luna.

“D-Derpy... Do you realise your riding on top of... Our Goddess?” Vinyl asked.

Princess Luna then reared back onto her back hooves with her fore hooves in the air.

“Why are you not bowing before the GREAT and POWERFUL Princess Luna!?” Luna joked.

The ponies all giggle amongst themselves, even Trixie managing a bit of a titter as the Princess did her best impression of her. The Princess brought the other ponies onto her back, the three of them sharing an affectionate hug.

“You know the ponies in my gig... They were just enjoying themselves...I thought you were too. I'm sorry.” Vinyl said.
“Trixie is sorry she called you derp-eyed all day and made you rub her hooves.... As fun as it was.” Trixie said.

“Don't worry guys... I know Vinyl you were just trying to have fun with me and I shouldn't have reacted like that. Trixie...I don't feel bad about my eyes or quirkiness any more. And I kinda like girly stuff like that sometimes.” Derpy replied.

As the three ponies traded stories in the moonlit night, the Goddess it all belonged to carried them across the sky to her and her sisters home in Canterlot.

“Trixie hates how it is so late, and nopony gets to see her greatness as she rides on Princess Luna herself!” Trixie said.
“Trixie can put a hoof in it before we do it for her.” Luna answered with a raised brow.

As the Ponies approached the castle gates, the same two guards from Derpy's first visit were back at their posts. Vinyl looked down at the pair and gave them a wicked grin, as they both looked decidedly rattled by the sight before them. Every guard moved out of Luna's way without a word as she returned to her sister. Pushing open the door to Celestia's break room, the surprised Princess met Luna's eyes. The three ponies jumped off Luna's back as she approached her sister and held her close to her, embracing her lovingly. The two Princesses back together again, the three ponies enjoyed the sight of them nuzzling each other from the floor as they bowed to them. Eventually both alicorn turned to the mortal ponies and Luna spoke up.

“This little pony, sister...Was the one that made us realise that we had to come back to see you. Derpy Hooves has made it possible for us to try friendship once again.” Luna said.
“You may all rise. Derpy Hooves, come and stand with me...” Celestia commanded.

With Trixie and Vinyl remaining behind, Derpy got back onto her hooves, gazing upon the profound beauty of the pure white and black Alicorn, infinitely humbled in their majesty.

“I thank you, little pony with all of my heart for giving me the chance to make amends with my beautiful sister. For your efforts, you will be featured on the front page of the Equestrian magazine, as Ponyville's new mail mare. I will submit an interview to the press, proclaiming that you are one of my most special and trusted mares in all Equestria. My ponies were all created with free will, so I cannot stop the mean ponies, but this column will make them think twice! Also, Trixie and Vinyl Scratch, you will receive a special gig in my royal function hall for supporting Derpy.” Celestia said.

The three ponies trotted in place in applause and excitement as the Princess gave each pony their own respective feather in their cap. Kisses were given gratefully to each princess on their hooves as the two sisters smiled proudly down at them.

“Thanks for helping me understand myself better, I feel much more confident!” Derpy said.
“Thanks for the spot in your castle, your majesty...” Vinyl said.
“...Trixie has learnt at least a little humility, if nothing else.” Trixie added.
“Yes, Trixie, it's a more valuable asset in a mares character than you will ever know I'm sure. But we are all different, and we love you too the way you are.” Luna replied.
“Now ponies, I will arrange for a ride for you back home. I'm sure your mother Derpy will be quite concerned about you by now. You'll have quite a story for her wont you?” She said, with a soft laugh.

Derpy nodded, a final bow dismissing themselves from the castle as the two princesses clearly had a lot to discuss. Having been granted wonderful rewards by the Princesses, Derpy, Vinyl and Trixie left the Princesses gratefully. They were escorted by royal guards to the castle entrance, where Celestia's carriage awaited them, drawn by two brilliant white regal Pegasi, whose job it was to escort the Princess. Ascending into the carriage, the ponies sat on the seat with each in the others arms. The pegasus ponies then began to move the carriage, gathering speed to take flight.

“Well Derpy, this is it I guess. I've had a rocking time with you kid. I really hope we bump into each other sometime.” Vinyl said
“Trixie is very grateful for the gig Trixie received thanks to Derpy. Trixie may not be able to get you as Trixie's assistant, but Trixie hopes to see you at Trixie's show.” Trixie added.
“Don't worry, I'll be around, whenever there is mail to be posted. Or muffins.” Derpy answered.

Now that Derpy was to be featured in the Equestrian magazine with an article featuring the princess, she knew that she would be cemented in the worlds hearts for the foreseeable future.

A different sort of pony

Chapter One:

Her face lay on it's side upon the soft pillow, it's squishy texture supporting her cheek. Her hair lay in streaks of gold atop the plush quilt that kept her warm, her breathing at a relaxed pace as she slowly came around. Her eyes opened to the goddesses morning light, as it passed through the fluffy cloud floor, reflected from the surface of Equestria. She used her fore hooves to push off onto her knees which sank a little into the springy mattress as they took her weight. Stretching to the heavens, she arched her back, letting out a delicate moan. Derpy Hooves loved to sleep, because she could escape into the world of dreams. Anything was possible when she flew the never ending realm of white space, where she could be whoever she wanted to be. Sooner or later though, she had to wake up, back to a reality where everything seemed far harder. She felt by comparison rather helpless in this world, where she could barely take care of herself.

“Derpy dear? Are you up?” Derpy's mother asked.
“Yeah mummy, I'll come down soon!” Derpy replied.

Pulling her legs across the bed, she sat on the edge of it, her hooves dangling into the cloud floor. As her hooves touched it, the cloud swirled around them as it's softness caressed them. Her hooves plunged into the cloud as the pegasus pony dropped onto the floor. With her magically light touch, her pegasus status allowed her to cross it as the cloud particles danced. Opening her bedroom door she strolled through her home to where she heard her mother, the dining room, which appeared to have a bowl of Derpys favourite cereal on the table.

“Morning angel, you have a nice sleep?”

Derpy smiled at her mother and nodded, still feeling a little groggy, but well rested. She knew she owed a lot to her mother as she couldn't begin to imagine how she could cope without her support. As she sat down at the dining table, she idly noticed her thigh, which still bore no cutie mark. Her mother noticed the change in Derpy's expression as she poured milk on her cereal.

“Derpy, is there something the matter?”

Derpy fiddled with the spoon in the cereal, the crunchy wheaty morsels swirling around. She liked to think they were pegasus ponies racing one another.

“Well, I really don't know why I don't have a cutie mark yet. I'm a mare now mummy and my flank is still blank.” Derpy explained.

Derpy brought the spoon to her mouth moodily, letting the wheat ponies fall into her maw, devouring them.

“Your cutie mark... That's something you have to work for dear and it doesn't come easily. If you ask me, I think you need to experiment a little.”

Derpy swallowed the next mouthful the milk within the soaking ponies leaking upon her tongue.

“I know that mummy, but I don't think ponies really understand me.” Derpy replied.

Spooning the mushy ponies into her munching teeth, Derpy finished off the last of her cereal, holding the bowl up to sip the milk from it. When her gaze was now longer obscured by the bowl, her mothers shining yellow figures concerned gaze met her.

“Derpy I know you have trouble sometimes, but you are a beautiful pony, both inside and out. You just need to keep at it and everyone will see that in the end.”

Trotting leisurely around the table, Derpys mother produced a comb from her bag. She took Derpy's hair into her hooves and began to run it's teeth through her daughters hair. As she had just woke up, there were a couple tugs and uneven hairs.

“Thanks, mummy. I'll try again today.” Derpy said.

As Derpy's mum finished combing her hair she ran it through her tail a few times for good measure. The hair in her tail was dense, long and sleek. It didn't take much work to get her looking neat, but her mum enjoyed grooming Derpy so she was thorough.

“That's a good girl, I wish you all the best.”

Derpy turned to her mother and gave her a hug before she set off. Trotting along casually across the cloud layer she gathered speed for take off. Cantering now her hooves made broad sweeping steps as she opened her wings. By now at a full gallop she could see the edge of the cloud layer as she began to slowly flap her wings, spreading out gracefully at her sides. Her hooves by now were barely touching the cloud layer as she began to rise into the air. Passing the very edge of the cloud layer she gazed beneath her as Equestria made itself visible beneath her suspended hooves. Now in full flight she began to bank and turn downwards, cutting through the clouds as she descended through the atmosphere. The familiar town of Ponyville was now visible and Derpy turned so she was descending towards it. She flew over Sweet Apple Acres farm and gently lowered her altitude to prepare to land in the town plaza. Her wings fully extended, she glided on the air current, her hooves held out in anticipation of impact with the earth. Her front hoof touched the ground and Derpy found herself tripping over it, landing with a thud on her back. With her hooves in the air and her wings spread either side of her, Pinkie Pie appeared to peer down at her from behind.

“Oh it's you Derpy! Haven't seen you in a while. The landing gear there still giving you trouble?” Pinkie joked.

Derpy rolled onto her hooves so she could stand and nopony else would need to see her crash landing.

“Oh um...Yeah. Never mind that Pinkie. Say, that looks like a lot of sugar, you need a hoof with it?” Derpy offered.

Pinkie glanced at the couple of big bags she had been lugging around this far and quickly nodded.

“Yeah, it's a real workout, Derpy! If you don't mind, that'd be really neat of you! We need to get these to Sugar Cube Corner. I can't make cupcakes without sugar!”

Derpy nodded, taking Pinkie's other bag in her teeth, swinging it over her back as she walked with Pinkie.

“So you just out for a stroll today?” Pinkie asked.
“Well I'm trying to find out how to get my cutie mark. It's really embarrassing not having one at my age.” Derpy explained.
“Oh, right I see that. Well if you wanted too you could come help out at the factory? It might help you find out what your best at Derpy!” Pinkie said.
“If your sure that's okay Pinkie.”

Pinkie took Derpy down to Sugar Cube Corner where they had to drag the bags of sugar into the basement. Derpy hovered in the air and placed the bag next to Pinkie. Derpy's nose began to sniff lightly into the air, as it picked up a pleasant aroma.

“Mmm what's the really nice smell Pinkie?”
“This, Derpy is my latest batch of blueberry muffins! Seeing as your a fellow muffin enthusiast, you can help taste test this batch!” Pinkie offered.
“Yes please Pinkie Pie, I cant wait to try one!”

Derpy licked her lips as Pinkie placed one into her hoof, the smell wafting into her nostrils. Her mouth opened to reveal her strong teeth, which slid through the plume of the muffin effortlessly. The batter broke apart in her mouth as her tongue found the subtle tartness of the blueberries. It tasted heavenly and Derpy's expression matched that of a pony in bliss.

“Good then Derpy?” Pinkie asked with a broad smile.

Derpy rose onto her hind legs with the muffin in her maw, nodding vigorously. Suddenly the muffin flew out of its wrapper, loosened by Derpy's nodding as the soft cake flew across the room. It landed in a large vat, which Derpy quickly flew over to. The vat was mixing strawberry sauce, and the half eaten muffin was being strirred and broken up amongst it.

“Pinkie, I'm really sorry!” Derpy cried.

Pinkie peered into the vat as it's contents were ruined by muffin and as what was left of the muffin began to clog the machine.

“Well...We've never tried THAT recipe before...Derpy I have to fix this, don't worry about it, it's okay...” Pinkie sighed.

Derpy hung her head as she turned to leave, knowing full well that Pinkie was upset even if she didn't yell at her. It would seem that baking wasn't Derpy's thing. Just then she spotted Rarity walking across the road, turning to her. Rarity took Derpy's hoof in hers and greeted her with a hopeful smile.

“You can help can't you? I'm designing a new ensemble for Vinyl Scratch's tour in Ponyville and I cant do it on my own! You simply must empathise with my plight!” Rarity begged.

Derpy looked rather startled by the ponies erratic display. She knew Rarity was a passionate pony when it came to her trade, but it escaped her what use she could be.

“Rarity I really don't think I could help with this. I don't have much of a...Delicate touch.”
“No, no, you have to understand, there's no possible way anypony could mess this up...That is to say I'm absolutely confident in your abilities!” Rarity continued, now dragging Derpy.
“Well uh...If you put it like that, how can I say no?”

Rarity took Derpy into her design workspace across the street in her own home. Derpy noticed bits of material sprawled all over the place with large sketches of beautiful dresses adorning the walls, attached with tape. Derpy in fact almost tripped over what was in the middle of the room, that appeared to be a broken tailors dummy. It was slashed all over and its head and one of its hooves had come straight off it's body. A fluffy white cat appeared to be curled up on top of the dismembered dummies body.

“...Opalesence seemed to like my tailor pony a little too much. She appears to have claimed it for her own and I can't use it as she has left it. Yes dear, that's why you are here.” Rarity explained.

Derpy looked blankly back at Rarity as if she didn't understand what she was implying.

“I dunno what you mean Rarity, what does that have to do with me?” Derpy asked.

Rarity at this point appeared to be gathering pieces of material that she had been stitching together, levitating it with her magic off to her side. She turned with the clothes in front of her, approaching Derpy with them.

“Dont worry, you don't have to understand, you just have to stand there...And...”

Before Derpy knew what was happening, Rarity had placed a top on her that had more sparkles and frills on it than Derpy had ever seen. Lifting Derpy's hooves she placed a lemon coloured denim skirt on her with matching leg warmers. Derpy was beginning to feel rather uncomfortable having clothes shoved on her. Rarity placed her hoof about Derpy's face as if to pose her head. Just then there was a knock at the door.

“I wonder who that could be... I simply have to find a sign to put on the door when I'm busy creating art.” Rarity complained.

When the door opened, Rainbow Dash flew past her in a blaze of blue. She then promptly started to help Derpy get the clothes off of her.

“Rainbow Dash, what on Equestria do you think your doing?!”
“More to the point, what do YOU think your doing with Derpy? I saw from the window as I flew past. She isn't a doll for you to dress up, she's a pegasus pony who belongs in the sky, on an epic adventure!” Dash replied, angrily.

Derpy simply sighed as the two of them argued over what was to be done with her. She simply paced out of Rarity's house as they did so, leaving the last leg warmer by the door. In a few brief moments Dashie had flown back to Derpy's side and now hovered in front of her.

“Derpy, you cant let people just use you like that! Your a pegasus pony, like me!” Dashie said.
“...Not like you Rainbow Dash. You're super fast and super cool. You're flying skill is unrivalled in all of Ponyville.” Derpy said.
“Heh, I see you've been reading my posters. But that doesn't mean you can't be like that. You should go to flight school and get some help. Heck, they used to call me Rainbow Crash before I passed my exams in flight school.” Dash explained.

Derpy looked up at Rainbow Dash, although it was hard for her to tell as her eyes were quite lazy and never seemed to look the same way. Derpy remembered a dream she had a few days ago where she actually could fly and keep up with Rainbow Dash, accelerating at mach speed. Derpy then all at once hugged into Rainbow Dash.

“Derpy rainboom!” She exclaimed.

Dash blushed at her fans warm embrace, wriggling a little to get out. She had an image to keep up.
“I'm err... Glad to hear you like it Derpy. Well...I wish you all the best! Tell them RD sent you!” Dash finished.

Later that day Derpy had arrived at the reception of the school of flight where she was greeted by a magenta pony with a shocking pink mane.

“Welcome to Cloudsdale's school of flight. Are you looking to enrole or are you a drop in student?”
“Oh uh...I think I am a drop in? RD sent me. It's Derpy Hooves.” Derpy said.
“I see miss Hooves, please go to assembly cloud 4 if you would. It's the hall to my right, second door on the right.” She said.

Derpy thanked the receptionist pony and trotted her way through to the door she was told to go to. She could hear voices beyond it and she wasn't keen on interrupting a lesson. All eyes would be on her and she hated that. Regardless, she opened the wooden handle and trotted inside, where indeed a group of young ponies eyes now laid directly upon her. Also an inquisitive looking mature pony with glasses and a silver mane caught her eye.

“I-I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt.” She said shyly.
“Not at all, young pegasus, this class will be a sampler of what our school can offer. Please, sit with us...Miss...?”
“Derpy Hooves sir, pleased to meet you.”
“And I am First Class, a stand in for Lightning Crash, who has a bad cold. Now lets get started shall we?”

Derpy Hooves joined the rest of the class, most of which were younger than her, which made her feel a little silly. At least she thought that they wouldn't be much to compete with if they had only just started flying. Just then she noticed Scootaloo of the Cutie Mark Crusaders rushed up to her.

“Oh hey Derpy! You still don't have a cutie mark either?

Derpy shook her head, looking rather embarrased.

“Don't worry about it, I think it's cool. I wanna have you as our mascot for the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

Derpy smiled and nodded, not wanting to talk too much seeing as she was already an intrusion in the class and didn't want to disrupt it further.

“Now class, what we have here is the hoop course. We'll be flying in formation around the figure eight course. You will fly through each hoop, rising and lowering in the air without touching the hoops. Now this might seem difficult, but the hoops are about a metre in diameter, so even a novice could clear this with ease. Derpy, please go to the front and lead the formation as you are the oldest student.” First Class said.

Derpy's ears lowered as a whole ton of pressure was just placed upon her. There would be no mistaking who the klutz was if she messed up because everypony was behind her. On his instruction, Derpy advanced to the mark as the leader of the formation. In her usual way she advanced from a trot, to a canter to a gallop until her hooves left the ground, towards the first hoop. She cleared it easily, her wings folding at the right time to get through. She then gracefully banked around the bend, swooping down to get through the lower hoop, clearing it too. After a lap however Derpy was beginning to get dizzy and was looking around to see where the next hoop was. Unfortunately each of the ponies before her crashed into her, causing a pony pileup. They plummeted to the cloud layer and landed softly in a heap of flapping wings and groans. First class shook his head with his hoof on his face as the ponies struggled off of a dazed Derpy.

“Ugh the dumb mare with the derp eyes clipped me. Cant you see out of those lazy things?” One pony said.

Derpy was looking more embarrassed than ever and almost felt like crying she was being treated so meanly. Scootaloo jumped atop Derpies back and stood defiantly over the other filly.

“How DARE you say that to her you horrible pony! Derpy is a really cool pony and really kind to us Cutie Mark Crusaders so you can just button it!” She yelled.

“Well said, Scootaloo. You adjust your attitude kid or your enroling papers might get lost in the post.”

Derpy had noticed by now that First Class had a letter on his flank, so he seemed to be from the post office.

“Now we're going to try it again. Not you Derpy, we're going to have a chat. Please, come with me.” First Class said.

Derpy's heart sank as she saw First Class move into the hall, following behind him. Scootaloo looked back at Derpy as she left the cloud, concerned she was getting in trouble. First Class turned to Derpy as she closed the door behind her, looking rather sheepish.

“Now Derpy, Dash mentioned your arrival about a half hour ago. She knows you've been having trouble fitting in and she speaks very highly of you. Now because your precision flying leaves a little to be desired, I don't think we can help you here. Regrettably, with the greatest respect, your vison is impared slightly through no fault of your own.”

Derpy felt like she was sinking into the cloud floor she was standing on, feeling smaller and smaller with every word. She knew he wasn't trying to be mean, but this was just another one of the many things she had tried to do and failed.

“But Derpy, Dash is a very respected pony among the ponies of Ponyville and I have a good feeling about you myself. This is why I'm going to give you a chance, to be a mail mare.” He said.

Derpy flapped her wings and jumped up and down in glee. Her few visits to Ponyville had actually paid off. It would seem that Rainbow Dash had grown close to her and really wanted to see her makes something of herself.

“Of course! I'd love that! Thanks so much Mr Class!” Derpy cried.
“Glad to hear it Derpy. Now I have some ponies to teach, but I'll expect to see you at cloudsdale post office, first thing tomorrow morning. Oh, and you'll need these.”

First Class opened a locked case he had propped up against the door. He took out from it a broad leather band with two pouches on each side. He placed it on Derpy's shoulders with a smile and a pat.

“These are your new mail bags. First thing, alright? You'll be on a work trial and if you do well, you'll be the new mail mare of Ponyville!”