Twilight's and Trixie's Rush Hour 2: Hellywood

by russgamemaster

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 3509

Twilight, Trixie, and Princess Celestia destroy the inhuman and one-dimensional King Hamdo in another martial arts adventure.

Another crossover with the anime Now And Then, Here And There, but unlike it, this is not a drama.

The sequel to NTHT - Twilight's short version and the deleted Sara Ringwalt in Equestria. Twilight and Trixie share flashbacks about a badly written oneshot that bashed a certain traumatized girl coming from the dictator King Hamdo's flying fortress, Hellywood. The oneshot was deleted for being bad and pointless. Princess Celestia tells them that the girl apparently came from a completely different environment than Equestria. Twilight, Trixie, and Celestia decide to check out Hellywood to see why the girl was willing to kill in what her twisted mind deemed self defense. They realize it's locked in a great crisis and fight Hamdo's traumatized lackeys.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-25 04:08:51 UTC

1 - Flashbacks

Twilight and Trixie shared flashbacks about their previous crossover experiences with the anime Now And Then, Here And There.

Twilight started, "I had to destroy a walking plot device to resolve a grim plot from a show called Now And Then, Here And There in minutes. This plot involved a tiny child protagonist and an evil overlord fighting over a water-creating girl for water. But unlike him, I managed to defeat the three huge mechanical critters that tried to steal the girl. Then I had to destroy the girl to stop more from coming after her. The kid only had a kendo stick and was up against three giants. Last time I checked, three giants are much stronger than an ordinary kid."

Trixie then brought up her OoC actions in another NTHT crossover. "The Great And Powerful Trixie ended up doing something she would not have done in her own show: Publicly demonstrate a mind-control curse, a torture curse, and a killing curse on a nondescript girl. And before I did all those to her, you hit her with the Expelliarmus charm and didn't even try to befriend her."

Twilight replied, "Yu? That white-bearded man?"

Trixie said, "Not Yu, YOU!"

Twilight asked, "Who?"

Trixie said, "YOU TWILIGHT!"

A confused Twilight wondered, "Yu or Me?"

Trixie continued, "Not Yu or Mi, YOU! AS IN PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE'S MOUTH?!?"

Twilight told her, "Well I would have tried to help a girl with mental problems if I hadn't been made OoC."

Then a third voice added, "Indeed you would have Twilight." This was followed by Princess Celestia teleporting in. "I had brought this girl here from another dimension because I wanted her to embrace the magic of friendship. But she was way too paranoid and willing to kill us in what her twisted mind deemed self-defense. Because she posed a threat to Ponyville, I had no choice but to turn her to stone after a disgruntled Trixie tortured her. Then Trixie shattered her with Confringo. Now I want to find out why that girl acted the way she did."

Trixie made a cute sad face when she realized that there was probably something she didn't know about that girl, and that the girl was disposed of like used tissue.

Twilight was also curious about the girl, willing to go to her dimension to find out what happened to her. Celestia set a blue gem onto the floor. "This gem is a Portkey, an object that teleports characters to other places when touched. I used this one to bring the girl from another dimension to Equestria. Now it's our turn to go where she came from."

Then Twilight, Trixie, and Celestia touched the gem with their hooves, getting surrounded by a bunch of flashing lights for a while before landing in a completely different place.

2 - The Zari-Bars orphanage

After the flashing lights stopped, Twilight, Trixie, and Celestia landed in a nondescript city called Zari-Bars. The skies were red instead of blue, showing that this was a desolate, dying world. Twilight remarked, "This can't be anything like Equestria! That sky usually means that something really bad has happened!"

Trixie added "To that girl Trixie killed, perhaps? Let's ask around and see what anypony knows about her."

Then they met a fat lady called Sis who ran an orphanage. Sis told them, "My Little Ponies! It's been forever since anything like these has EVER been seen here. I, Sis, am running an orphanage to keep children safe from the heartless and one-dimensional King Hamdo. That tyrant is burning down their homes, capturing them, and forcing them to fight for him. And he has never displayed any motives or backstory whatsoever. They've been psychologically broken by him to the point where they'll never move forward."

Twilight replied, "I was broken too, but I have bounced back. Friendship isn't always easy, but it is worth fighting for."

Sis replied "Fight Hamdo? You ca-"

Trixie made a Flutterrage face and yelled "SHUT UP!" She then turned Sis into a white ferret and bounced her up and down. "The Great And Powerful Trixie is nothing like those who have previously opposed King Hamdo. No, we're the ones who will destroy him. We're magical superheroes rather than ordinary child protagonists with no skills or superpowers whatsoever."

Then a redshirt named Soon walked in to see Trixie, Twilight, Celestia, and the bouncing ferret. "Ponies! Yay!" She started to brush the three ponies' manes and tails while Trixie was still bouncing the ferret around. "Glad you're here. I really miss my father, who was killed in Hamdo's base, Hellywood. Will you save the world for us?"

The ponies said yes and threw the ferret into a background boy's pants, tickling him. Then the ferret bit him and crawled out of his leg. Afterwards, Celestia winked at Soon and turned the ferret back into Sis. Celestia then asked Soon, "Now what's your name?"

Soon said, "Soon."

Celestia said, "Not soon, now!"

Soon said, "I said Soon!"

Celestia replied, "Are you deaf?"

Soon said, "No, I can hear perfectly."

"Then tell me your name."

"I have told you! I'm Soon! And can you magical unicorns make the evil King Hamdo disappear?"

Twilight said, "Sure thing. I've defeated a dark winged unicorn, a god of chaos, a changeling queen, a phantom unicorn, and a magic-draining centaur with the magic of friendship."

Celestia told Soon, "I'm here because I brought a girl from this world to mine in an attempt to make friends. But she was too paranoid for that. From what I can tell, that girl was not the only one oppressed by that Hamdo guy. Just leave him to us three."

Soon said, "Thanks for your offer, but his forces are coming to raid this city and kidnap more children!" She grabbed an SNES Super Scope and ran out the door. As Twilight, Trixie, and Celestia followed her, they saw a bunch of child soldiers wearing yellow clothes. Soon said, "This is for killing my father!" and fired the Super Scope multiple times at the soldiers only to be shot down herself by a phaser. She exploded into a Megaman death animation.

5 - Celestia vs Elamba

3 - Child Soldier Fight

Twilight, Trixie, and Celestia asked the soldiers "So you must be Hamdo's forces. Why do you work for that monster?!?"

One of the soldiers said "Because he forced us to. He burned down our houses so we could never return. And he will never let us go. Because we have nothing left, we have to kill for him."

Twilight said "What I've got here is the magic of friendship, powerful enough to set anypony free!"

As one of the soldiers said "You can't destroy Ha-", Twilight zapped him with a laser beam, sending him flying backwards. The other soldiers shot at the ponies, but the ponies used barriers to brush off the lasers easily. Then the soldiers charged at the ponies. Celestia cast Confringo on one group, sending them flying. Twilight teleported behind one of the soldiers and kicked them. Trixie found herself exchanging punches and kicks with one of the soldiers before whipping him away with her cape. Then she threw her hat to knock down more soldiers before deflecting a wave of lasers with her cape. While zapping more soldiers, Celestia punched one in a group, created an explosion, and sent them flying. She then dodged sledgehammer swings from another before grabbing the hammer, spinning him around on it, and tossing him into some soldiers. Twilight then grabbed a soldier and did a metronomic man mash on him, smashing three others in the process.

After dodging another laser shot, Trixie cast Imperio on one of the soldiers and used him to shoot down a few others while Twilight shielded her and beat some others up. Then after Trixie dodged some more lasers, Twilight did a metronomic man mash on a soldier to hit some more others. Trixie then cast Avada Kedavra, killing a soldier. Twilight told her, "No Trixie! Don't kill them! They're doing this because they're..."

But then Trixie yelled "CRUCIO", causing three other soldiers to feel great physical pain everywhere.

Twilight said "STOP IT! CAN'T YOU SEE IT'S BOTHERING THEM? STOP IT! THEY'RE BROKEN ALREADY AND DON'T NEED ANY MORE OF IT! JUST KNOCK THEM OUT AND LET PRINCESS CELESTIA TAKE CARE OF THEIR BROKEN HEARTS!" She then kicked another soldier to the floor at the same time Trixie did it. "Well they all look the same to me!"

Then after more punching and kicking, Twilight, Trixie, and Celestia zapped the last of the soldiers, incapacitating them. After all the soldiers were down, Twilight said, "We've got to get to the bottom of this. Celestia, you should be able to fix their broken hearts and give them a second chance back home at Equestria. Trixie and I are going to Hellywood to take care of Hamdo." Twilight then turned Trixie into a ball to carry her to Hellywood more easily, then flew there with her. As soon as they landed on top of Hellywood, Trixie unrolled back into herself. With Twilight, she used a laser beam to cut a hole through the top of Hellywood, then they jumped through it to meet two more child soldiers: Shu and Tabool.

4 - Twilight and Trixie vs Shu and Tabool

Shu told Twilight, "You must be the one who destroyed the blue-haired girl known as Lala-Ru."

Twilight said, "Eeyup."

Shu said "I was never able to stop thinking about her after meeting her for less than a minute. I came to Hellywood in order to protect her from its forces."

Trixie joined in, "And guess what average joe? It landed you in this desolate dying world. IMPERIO!" Shu was now under Trixie's control, and she ordered him to tell her and Twilight everything he attempted.

Shu said "After talking to Lala-Ru on a smokestack, I fought the same three giant robots that Twilight did in an earlier Now And Then, Here And There crossover. But I only had a kendo stick. I couldn't even scratch their armors or do much damage to any of them. Then they took me back to Hellywood, where I was chased by the child soldiers you incapacitated earlier. Then I was captured, tortured, and forced to join the child army! I can't do much to save the world or Lala-Ru."

Twilight said, "That's because I destroyed Lala-Ru. And you are no chosen one. If you just ignored her, you wouldn't have landed in Hellywood."

Shu said, "WHY YOU..."

Then the second child soldier, Tabool, said "I enjoy killing and I'm going to rise up the ranks and claim Hellywood myself!"

Trixie told him "The Great And Apologetic Trixie learned the hard way that pride comes before destruction. Twilight and Trixie aren't going easy on you because you're children. We're going to pretend you're mares. Mares with perfect bodies that we'd love to read books with."

Then a fight broke out. Shu charged at Twilight while wildly swinging his kendo stick, but Twilight teleported out of the way and let him hit the wall. She then lasered him in the plot and jumped to dodge a laser shot from Tabool's NES Zapper. Trixie hit Tabool with her cape and punched him a few times before being knocked aside by Shu. Shu thrust his kendo stick at Trixie, but she used her magic to wrap her cape around it while holding the cape. She then did a metronomic man mash on him and threw him at Tabool, knocking Tabool aside. Twilight and Tabool shot at each other a few times, then Twilight used the Expelliarmus charm to disarm Tabool and steal his Zapper to shoot him with it. Then Tabool got kicked again and blew up upon hitting the wall.

Shu said "Get out of the way you two! I'm the one who's going to take care of Hamdo!"

Trixie said "NO! Princess Twilight Sparkle and the Great And Powerful Trixie will do it! And YOU can't even protect a girl!" Then she started spinning him on his stick and then let him hit Twilight with it, who was shielding herself. Shu's kendo stick exploded and he got a splinter on his hand.

Shu yelled "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Then he tried to punch Trixie, but Trixie shoved her hat onto his fist and used it as a cannon to throw him into the wall.

Then Trixie told him "CRUCIO!" and he started to feel physical pain everywhere without showing any psychological injuries. "Two-dimensional? Apparently he's never shown any signs of mental trauma. Twilight has before, but she's clearly bounced back from it, which is what matters. And one more thing. AVADA KEDAVRA!" Shu got blasted by a green bolt, fell through the wall, landed on a taxi, and exploded. "DAM. He ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3. Now Twilight, let's make sure Hamdo won't be in it either."

Meanwhile, Princess Celestia was fighting one of the child soldiers who got up from the previous battle.

6 - King Hamdo's last stand

5 - Celestia vs Elamba

The soldier, Elamba, started to give Celestia a motive rant. "You were told that we were broken by Hamdo in order to do his bidding, and you STILL beat us all up?!? Well I have no reason to trust you. My sister was eaten by animals, and now I have neither a home nor a family. Hamdo took them away, and I can never get them back. Now I have no choice but to kill for him. Prepare to die!" He pointed a spear at her and shot a needle at her, but she countered the needle with a fireball that incinerated it. When Elamba got set on fire as well, he stopped, dropped, and rolled. Then he charged at her with his spear, but she sidestepped. He thrust at her, then she dodged it, grabbed it, and slammed him into the floor.

Celestia tried to talk him out of obeying Hamdo. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to! And you're just going to hold on to that trauma instead of moving forward? Look at my student Twilight. Her spirit was broken, but she bounced back. And you won't because you've lost everything you had?!?"

While lying on the floor, Elamba said "Blah blah blah. I've tried to get rid of him myself. I sent assassins, including Soon's father, to take out Hamdo, but they were effortlessly shot down. Now there's no hope for any of these child soldiers." He got up and began throwing rocks at her, which she dodged while surrounded by fire. Upon grazing him, she set him on fire again.

"Hamdo won't be there forever. Just leave him to my superpowered friends Twilight and Trixie! They just beat up one of his slaves and threw him out of Hellywood."

But Elamba refused to believe her. "Th-that was Hamd-" He ended up talking to a forehoof to the face, flying to the right.

"No. I know that Twilight and Trixie are special, and that they would be much more likely to save the world than an ordinary human child." She then charged her solar beam while dodging more needles, then unleashed it upon Elamba, incapacitating him again. "I come from a much better world than yours: Equestria. It's not desolate like this one, and it's worth making friends and fighting for friendship even if it isn't easy!"

At this point, Twilight and Trixie met King Hamdo himself. He tried to pull out his gun, but Twilight disarmed him with the Expelliarmus charm which also sent him flying. Then he pulled out a double lightsaber upon landing.

3 - Child Soldier Fight

6 - King Hamdo's last stand

As Hamdo cowered in the corner despite having a double lightsaber, Twilight exclaimed, "It's over Hamdo. Trixie, Princess Celestia, and I have taken out all your child soldiers. We're here because we unsuccessfully attempted to befriend a traumatized girl from your kingdom.

Trixie joined in "Eeyup. Everypony hates you, and Princess Celestia is fixing the damage you've done to them. The Great And Powerful Trixie and Princess Twilight Sparkle are about to destroy you. How the hay did you become king anyway?"

Instead of laughing maniacally, Hamdo yelled "G-get away from me! Because this environment is desolate and dying, only the worst of humanity survived, which allowed me to rise to power. I didn't care about my child soldiers' lives anyway, so I didn't mind you beating them down. They were also easy to corrupt, and I banked on others' hesitation to beat up children. But let me guess...You pretended they were men?!? Don't you have hearts?"

Twilight said "I've got one right here. It's got even more powerful magic than my horn. And you're the one with no heart."

Trixie added "Trixie's got a heart too. Twilight managed to soften it, and not only do you have no heart, but you're also completely one-dimensional. So here's your reward for breaking your own soldiers. IMPERIO! CRUCIO! AVADA KEDAVRA!" She shot Hamdo with three bolts, but he was wearing a special helmet that prevented the Unforgivables from affecting him. "Let's get physical."

Twilight and Trixie shot at Hamdo more times, but his double lightsaber deflected their shots. Then Twilight teleported behind him and literally kicked his flank. As he slid forward, Trixie hit him in the face with her cape, which was charged with magic energy. Then their weapons clashed for a while. Twilight joined in by charging a pipe with magic and pummeling Hamdo from behind. But then he used the Force to push Twilight backwards. She then grabbed the wall, jumped off it, and threw a box at him. He then threw his weapon at Twilight, who dodged it easily. Trixie swatted, punched, and kicked him. "Why'd you throw away your own weapon?" Them Hamdo made his weapon fly back to him, but Twilight dodged it again. As soon as Hamdo's weapon turned on again, Trixie shot him backwards with his own Zapper. Then they used their telekinesis to fight over the dropped lightsaber. It span around in the air, then Twilight made it hit Hamdo.

"You want your weapons back? Well here you go!" Twilight knocked Hamdo to the ground, then Trixie reared up and thrust her forehooves at him, spontaneously causing explosions to erupt on his body. He began to cower with an ugly face and childing whining.

While focusing a laser beam on Hamdo, Trixie taunted "You're on fire now! The Great And Powerful Trixie could do this all day if she wanted to!"

Twilight told her, "Trixie, get to the point already!"

Hamdo pushed Trixie backwards with the Force, then both Twilight and Trixie did the metronomic man mash on him. "Since you're paranoid and one-dimensional, let's put you out of your misery. HYPER LIGHTSPEED THUNDER MEGAZORD PONY WRATH EXPLOSIVE DIFFINDO Z-SABER GIGASLASH!" They hit Hamdo really hard with the lightsaber and he flew through the wall.

As Hamdo fell to the floor outside of Hellywood, Princess Celestia caught him and lit him on fire while levitating him and transmuting the carbon on his body into stone. "Everypony, I know you're all tired of King Hamdo's tyranny. I know you can move on, because Twilight and Trixie just defeated him! I'm holding him right here so you can watch him disappear for good!" Then Twilight and Trixie focused their magic into Hellywood's laser cannon and fired it at Hamdo, who literally exploded.

As the smoke cleared, Twilight and Trixie remarked "Oh, you know he's dead. Now let's go home. We won't be needing this anymore." They then activated Hellywood's self-destruct sequence and escaped via generic video game platforming. Upon reaching the outside of Hellywood, Twilight and Trixie jumped off. While Twilight just flew downwards, Trixie took off her cape and used it as a parachute to float safely to the ground. Then Hellywood exploded behind them.

Then they were met by applause from the child soldiers they had beaten up before. "They did it! They destroyed Hamdo and Hellywood and saved us all! WOOHOO!"

Celestia also agreed to give the former child soldiers a new home at Equestria, and then she teleported them back there with Twilight and Trixie. Once they saw lots of multicolor ponies walking around, Celestia said to the ex-soldiers, "This is Equestria, a perfect place for friendship. The ponies everywhere have natural friends, and now that Hamdo's been destroyed, there are a lot of doors open for you. I can't wait to get friendship reports from you as you keep moving forward and get friends!" She was met with a lot of thumbs ups.

Twilight then wrote, "Dear Princess Celestia, thank you for joining me on another action adventure with Trixie to destroy a one-dimensional tyrant. A little hope goes a very long way. And there's always more to strangers than meets the eye."

The end