Author's Note

Bored? Have some prologue!

The Pegasi Problem

I sat around with my friend, waiting for our third to show up. The young stallion before me had promised me a little help romantically, and now we were already half cocked waiting for the person to show up. But, he was paying for drinks, and I could never turn down a free drink. "So...how do you know this chick?" I asked, swirling around a shot before downing it.

My friend shrugged, "I knew her from way back. Point is, you speak the same language, and she's...well, she's easy."

I set the shot down, "Well I'm glad you have some confidence in me, prick."

My friend held his hooves up, "Sig, it's not like that. I meant she'll like you. She likes things that walk on the ground."

I cocked my head and leaned towards him, "Lith, the hell does that even mean?"

Lith scratched his head, "She was- she- dear Celestia.... She founded the uh- Earth First Movement."

"Oh...that sounds nice." I grumbled, looking around the rather green park across from the restaurant, "Seems like it's working."

Lith looked behind himself, staring out over the park before turning back to me. He looked a bit worried as a pegasus came by and took our glasses. "Yeah...I don't think we're talking about the same thing. Point is, she likes things that don't fly, and...she's not a big fan of- she uh- she likes humans, donkeys, cows--"

"Normal things, I get it." I ran my hand through my hair, tugging at it a little, "Like, ground based stuff."

Lith nodded, "That's a better way of putting it than, normal. Normal isn't exactly what she likes...she's very...particular."

I shrugged, the waitress bringing me another drink, "Thank you," I said, sliding her a ten bit coin. She took it with a smile and flew off to another table. "So, you never actually told me what she looks like. She speaks German, she's a green peace weirdo, and she likes ground walking folk. That really doesn't tell me much."

Lith tapped his hooves nervously on the table, "Look...she has trouble getting dates, you have trouble getting dates, you speak Sturmer, you speak...what did you call it?"

"German?"

"Yeah, like Sturmer. Anyways, I figure you two give it a shot, see if things work out, maybe go into something a little more serious down the line." Lith watched as I pounded another drink, getting pleasantly pickled.

I glared at him, "She's not like...a Nazi, or a dude...right?"

Lith shrugged, "I don't even know what a Nazi is, I know it's a human thing, but I don't--"

He was cut off by a shrill German yelp, "No! Pig, get off me!"

We both looked to the park, watching as a blonde pony in a pink dress was getting harassed by a griffon. Lith leaned over, "Oh shit...that's her...."

I watched as the Griffon wrapped their talons around her foreleg. I grew a bit angry in my half drunk state and started shouting in German, "Bird fucker, what the fuck!?" I pushed my chair aside and hopped the short wall that surrounded the outdoor eating area, "What, you don't understand, pig!?"

The griffon looked over to me, "Hey how about you mind your own--"

I crossed the street, charging over to the griffon. "Kurwa, you think this is funny!?" I yelled, busting out my Polish as well, "You want to put her down before you are hurt!?"

The griffon tossed the tiny German mare away, sending her running around and behind me, "Oh master, thank you, the bird is going crazy!"

It had been a long time since I had heard the word, meister, but it proved she was unapologetically German. I thought it was funny, this little mare was adorable, and fighting for her would be easy. White knight that I was, I stood off with the bird, matching them eye to eye. "Go on feather fuck...do something...."

The griffon's feathers poofed out, "Both of you are damn racists, and I'm not gonna put up with this crap!" He balled up his talon, taking a warning swipe at me, "Now back off--"

I cut the half-breed off, leveling my fist into his gut and crumpling him, "You think it's okay to just abuse someone in the street!?" I yelled, slapping the back of his head, "Calling people racist for no reason, the fucking balls on you!"

The griffon flattened out, leaving me with a cooing mare wrapping her forelegs around my leg, "Oh master...so strong, many thanks!"

"Shit shit shit!" Lith yelped as he ran over, "Sig, what the crapstick!?"

I looked over to him as he skidded to a halt next to the griffon. "What? If a girl screams for help, I'm going to help."

The blonde mare snuck out from between my legs, "Lith, mein' friend!" Her English sounded rather lacking.

Lith looked up at me, "Shit...Sig, you need to go!" He stood and turned to me, "Sig, Aryanne. Aryanne, Sig. Now get the buck out of here!" he stood up and started shoving me with his forelegs, "Take her anywhere else but her-- not down Feather Fall Street!"

I scratched my head as Aryanne wrapped herself around my leg, "But...it takes half as long on--"

"Not down Feather Fall!" Lith screamed, stomping his hooves, "now get the buck out of here before the guard comes!"

I shrugged, "...Alright...but I expect an explanation." I coaxed Aryanne off my leg and towards the strange path home.

"Wait, my master." She wiggled free and turned her flank to the KO'd griffon. "Swine," she dug her back hooves in and kicked some dirt over the griffon, "You are touch me...scum."

I felt a little guilty as she finished up and walked past with a proud and proper gait, "I uh...was that necessary?"

Aryanne hurried past me, walking towards Feather Fall Street. "Yes, the griffon needs to learn his place! Touching a beautiful earthpony should be a crime!"

I felt another strange sensation rumble in my gut, it felt odd for her to specify, earth, pony. I walked over to her, "Um...anyways, Lith said not to go down--"

Aryanne slowed, hugging my leg and nuzzling my groin, "Master, you smell nice. And Lith is scared, but with big strong master, we have nothing to fear!"

In my slightly drunk state I was growing proud from the constant praise. "I...sure, screw Lith. I'm not about to spend thirty minutes walking around in a giant circle for no reason!" I scooped up the mare, throwing her over my shoulder and making sure her pink dress clung to her and covered her flank.

Aryanne's voice went a bit hot, "Master...so forward." Her tail flipped up, nearly lifting her dress up. I kept a hand on her flank, holding her dress down, "Master...holding me, touching me, you barely know me...but you like Aryanne?"

I chuckled stupidly, "I am always a friend to...good looking people."

Aryanne giggled softly, letting me carry her ass forward over my shoulder. "Master is too good to little Aryanne...Aryanne will be spoiled, will need to be shown her place...."

I laughed softly as I turned onto Feather Fall Street, "Lith said you were a bit...perverse...was he wrong?"

Aryanne wiggled her rear, "Little filly Aryanne? No, but master saved me, and master deserves reward for his bravery."

Lith was right, this little mare was a kinky little pervert, and I loved it. What I didn't love was the growing presence of pegasi watching me walk with menacing glares. I did my best to ignore them, accidentally running into a pegasus mare in the middle of the street, "Hey!" she poked me in the gut, "You need to get out of here...and never come back!"

I met her glare, "Why's that!? You have something against me!?"

The pegasus glanced up at the exposed mare posterior on my shoulder, "With that in tow? Yes...now leave!"

I glared at her, shoving her with my knee as I walked past. Aryanne wiggled around before making a strange noise, "Bird!"

"She just spit on me!" the pegasus yelled, chasing after me, "Hey, look at me! Look at me you little shit!"

I reached my free hand back, flipping off the pegasus and quickening my pace. The crowd of pegasi were livid, wings flared out as the horde collectively stared me down. I made my way off of Feather Fall and onto my street, a small human community.

I slowed my pace, people's heads turning and a similar glare focusing on me as I walked towards home. Mutters and growls resonated from the humans, a few ponies staying calm. A melody of curses and a dance of middle fingers was aimed at me as I tried to walk home.

"What the hell? Everyone is acting so weird...." I muttered, "Do you know what's wrong?"

Aryanne patted my back with her forelegs, "No master, but...all this attention, it makes me blush...and big strong master's hands...they're so warm...so strong."

I walked up my lawn, the dull tan ponystyle home was as calm as ever despite the massive amount of hate now radiating off my neighbors. I hurried inside, locking the door behind me and setting Aryanne down. "Well...." I took a deep breath and watched Aryanne look around my rather dull entryroom, the pale white walls bare and uninteresting, creating a rather boring atmosphere for the square bare room. I ducked down to her, staring into her bashful blue eyes, "...Maybe this is sudden...but I could always spend the night with a pretty girl...why stop now?"

Aryanne looked away, "You spoil this little filly...master will have to punish naught little Aryanne."

I laughed huskily, "Little filly needs to be punished?"

Aryanne grew red, "Yes master...Aryanne needs to be punished...Aryanne has been a naughty filly and needs to be taught a lesson...."

I smiled wide, "Well...we will get started then."

I put my hand on her back, forcing her around, "Master...you're so rough...but naughty Aryanne deserves worse--" I cut her off, giving her flank a slight tap, her voice cracking into a high pitched whine, "Oooh master, harder for little Aryanne please--"

I stared at her sex, revealed by her excited tail. "Hold still little lady...." I slid my hand under her dress, "Little filly has a heart on her-- Holy shit that's a swastica!" I yelped in Polish, jumping back and slamming into a wall, "What the fuck!? Lith, you fucker, you absolute-- You set me up with a Nazi you fucker!"

Aryanne looked back, "Master is going to punish little Aryanne, please?"

I clenched up hard at the adorable fascist. "I- Is this why the pegasi were freaking out!? Why do you have a swastica on you ass!?"

Aryanne looked down to her flank, "Cutie Mark? Is the symbol of unity and strength, only true earth ponies know of it!"

I froze, "...Are you-- How do you feel about pega--"

Aryanne spun around, a look of pure rage on her face, "Birds! Filthy peasant birds! Not fit to wallow in the same mud as pigs!"

I looked straight ahead, "Lith...you fucking prick...."