All's Well that Ends Well
“Aww, horse feathers!”
Applejack huffed as she pulled her face into a frustrated scowl, craning her neck to look upwards at the narrow beam of pale moonlight that was barely sifting in. Her voice was carried up, echoing, by the circular walls of rough stone and brick. She was in the middle of searching for nooks and crannies in the old masonry through which she could fit her hooves in hopes of getting herself into a safe climb, a one way route out of the monotonous confines of stone that now encompassed the majority of her inanimate surroundings.
“Ohh, cheer up, Applejack!” Pinkie Pie replied from behind the farmer. The sudden outburst of her cheerful voice startled Applejack slightly, as the other pony had been uncharacteristically silent for some time prior. “Look on the bright side! What better way is there to become closer to a friend than getting stuck together with them in a well a day before Nightmare Night?”
Pinkie Pie’s voice was met with nothing but an irate mumble from Applejack, who’s search for purchase with her hooves only increased in intensity as she returned to her task. The somewhat narrow space was bad enough on its own, but the dank, mildew-smelling air wafting about in addition to having to share said space with another pony was almost enough to make things unbearable.
Not only was she bereft of her hat, which had been left at the foot of the well topside, and not only were parts of her coat now soaked through from the murky groundwater, but Applejack had been so busy and inattentive this time around preparing for Nightmare Night, that she’d actually listened to one of Pinkie Pie’s outlandish claims.
“Sure, a supposedly ‘magical’ wishing well pops up out of nowhere in a secluded corner of the park,” Applejack grumbled in response. “You find it and say it actually grants wishes, iffin’ you throw a small bag of bits down into it. What you had failed to consider, Pinkie,” Pinkie Pie’s grin faltered into a nervous smile. “Was whether or not the well would try to suck us in like a unicorn’s fancy telekinesis. Forgive me if I fail to see the bright side of things when we can barely even make out the moonlight from down here!”
While Pinkie Pie scratched at her mane sheepishly, Applejack put her frustrated lecturing to rest for the moment, as she found what could possibly be some good hoofholds in the walls. Rising to her hind legs, she probed the surface until she acquired the purchase she desired. “Pinkie Pie, how’s your climbing skills?”
Pinkie Pie grinned again, then shot up and moved to her nearest section of wall. Several Equestrian bits in the two inches of water submerging the floor clinked under her hooves. “Let’s see!” She started probing at the wall experimentally like Applejack, holding her tongue out in concentration.
With such slippery stones, Pinkie Pie might as well have been trying to climb a wall of soap. She lost her grasp in an instant and fell onto her haunches with a sharp “oof”, splashing a bit of water onto Applejack in the process.
“Blast it, no good.” Applejack sighed, wiping her eyes. She decided on a secondary idea. “Hmm, this well shaft is just narrow enough that it might work,” she cupped her chin in her hoof as she surveyed the masonry. “Pinkie, put your back against mine, we’ll just have to shimmy our way up and out with our hind legs. Ah’m not climbing and having you ride on my back, this ain’t no rodeo.”
“Ok!” Pinkie Pie agreed, turning to face the other side of the well and backing into Applejack.
“Now we’ll start on my mark, okay?”
“Ready!”
“Get your legs up…” Applejack planted her hooves firmly on her side of the well, and Pinkie Pie managed to do the same on the other. “Okay…now!” A second later, they moved in concert to haul each other up high enough to no longer feel the water beneath them. “Good! Again, keep it up now!” Pinkie Pie grunted in response, and the both of them gritted their teeth with determination as they made it even higher up the well.
The process of Applejack’s command and the synchronized movement continued for several more exhaustive seconds, until at last the duo had nearly reached the top of the well. Applejack was even able to get a whiff of fresh night air.
Unfortunately, that was exactly when Pinkie Pie lost her traction, causing both ponies to fall right back to the bottom with a painful thud.
“Oopsies! Sorry,” Pinkie Pie exclaimed sheepishly. Applejack was quiet for the moment, but the pool of water beneath them quickly bubbled and evaporated into steam as she pulled herself back up. Her teeth were gritted in fury, and her skin was dangerously red under her golden orange coat.
“Try. Again,” Applejack replied simply, with a dangerous voice. Her tone implied that a repeat of the previous failure would likely, and quite inexplicably, convert the hair of her mane into pure fire. Pinkie Pie made a sound like a scolded puppy, and put her back against Applejack’s again.
Were it not for the latter’s mounting fury, Pinkie would have jokingly remarked that with the steam in the well, it now felt like they were potatoes and carrots in a hot pot of vegetable soup.
A few more seconds past, and they were making progress up the well shaft again. Applejack was so determined to escape the well-turned oubliette, that she almost didn’t notice something peculiar about the surrounding walls they were scaling.
“Hey AJ, I thought we were halfway up the well, by now!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, frowning. “What gives?”
“Huh?” Applejack answered. She looked up for a second with a frown, and finally registered what Pinkie Pie had. The walls of the well seemed to stretch upwards unnaturally far, as if it were actually getting deeper. “It’s probably just the exhaustion making us hallucinate. Ah say, just keep moving!”
“Okey…ungh…dokie.”
“We’ll be out of here in no time!”
Everything began shaking slightly as the duo continued to ascend. An angry, baritone muttering rung around them, the gravelly voice’s words incomprehensible and menacing as if they were coming straight from Tartarus. Applejack and Pinkie Pie halted instantly, their eyes widened and their manes standing on end. Both remained still, as the muttering stopped. The well was silent for several heartbeats, save for Applejack and Pinkie Pie’s own wary breathing as they struggled to determine the source of the voice and whether something was somehow lurking in the darkness of the well with them.
Their rapt listening turned up nothing. Only the sound of the breeze from aboveground did anything to break the silence. And then the shaking returned.
“Ahchoo!”
Pinkie Pie and Applejack screamed as they both lost their grip at the same time, instinctively curled up together in fright, and fell back down to the bottom of the well.
“Land sakes! What was that?” Applejack cried out, separating herself from her friend.
“I dunno somepony must have sneezed but it wasn’t us!” Pinkie Pie rambled without pause, suddenly turning jovial again in a way that only she could. “I think the well might be pulling a prank on us.”
“You’re really not helping, sugarcube! You think this here well might be haunted?”
Pinkie Pie scratched her poofy mane again. “Actually, I think it might have a mind of its own.”
Applejack frowned skeptically and was about to rebuff the theory in favor of ghosts, when the baritone but indiscernible mumbling returned. She deadpanned at the thought that Pinkie Pie may in fact be correct. “Shoot. Well, if it does, you don’t suppose we could convince it to, Ah dunno, let us out?”
Shrugging, Pinkie Pie stepped on a few bits that were still occupying the now dry well bottom. The clinking of the coins gave Applejack a new idea. “The bits! Quick, help me bury the bits!”
Unsure at first of what the farmer was doing, Pinkie Pie started collecting some of the bits into a pile. When she finally caught on, she grinned from ear to ear. “Ohh, it is a wishing well. Why just throw the coins down into it, when you can dive in and actually put them near where the magic is! Great idea, Applejack!” Applejack murmured back, busy digging a small hole in the floor of the well shaft with her hoof.
When Pinkie Pie pushed the pile of bits into the hole, a golden light suddenly emanated from it. A small portal enveloped the gold and then vanished, and the baritone voice of the well belched loudly.
“Uhh, Ah think it just did something,” Applejack remarked uncertainly, looking back up at the top again.
“Sounds like somepony was hungry,” Pinkie Pie replied.
A hearty chuckling broke out, and both earth ponies suddenly felt the same force that had pulled them into the well exert itself again, this time in the opposite direction. Applejack and Pinkie Pie yelped in surprise as they were unceremoniously hefted straight out of the well and aboveground, where they landed, sprawled on the ground awkwardly.
As soon as she felt the grass, Applejack looked around ecstatically, breathing in the fresh air and retrieving her hat. Pinkie Pie, having pulled herself up, turned and grinned at the well.
Applejack collected herself and noticed that her friend was still staring at the well. “Hey, Pinkie?” Pinkie Pie turned to grin at her. “Uh, sorry for snapping at you earlier, sugarcube. Ah just can’t stand cramped spaces n’ all. No hard feelings?”
“Of course not, silly! Our wishes are about to be granted!”
“Come again?” Applejack deadpanned.
The well began glowing with a golden aura as a mist of purple magical energy built up in the surrounding area. As the two mares watched in awe, a dozen barrels of fresh zap apples materialized on either side of the well, and torrents of candy began spewing up out of the well’s opening like a geyser or a ruptured water main.
When the flow of candy stopped, the magical mist and the entire well vanished with a rather rude flatulent noise, leaving nothing but a plain stretch of grass now covered in pieces of candy.
“So what was the whole deal with that well, anyhow?” Applejack asked, dumbfounded. “That’s one of the weirdest things Ah’ve ever seen.”
Pinkie Pie looked up as she starting pecking at unwrapped candy like a chicken and smirked. “You're telling me.”
