Of Magical Mushrooms, Blue Boxes, and Charished Childhoods

by MrWhatnow

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Doctor Whooves, Applejack
Length: 4634

4thwall breaking origin story for MLP, slight drug references, involves Dr. Who AND Dr. Whooves, HiE

A young man in high school has let his friend convince him to try mushrooms for the first time, but tripping near TARDIS-sized inter-dimensional rifts is never a good idea. Three guesses where they end up.

Published 2012-04-10 00:44:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-26 14:47:37 UTC

Chapter 1

"All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations."

-Kurt Vonnegut

"OK, but the Doctor said 'time can be rewritten,' and he's actually TRAVELED in time, so who're you gonna believe? Some author, or the man himself?" John responded.

"Dude, the Doctor isn't real, all his lines are just written by the people at BBC, and besides,in that episode with the Pandorica Rory just comes into existence as a roman he even ADMITS he doesn't fully understand it, remember?"

"Yeah, but remember that it wasn't even normal Rory that came back, it was just an imprint of her memories as part of the trap, so eventually there WAS an explanation for it." He retorted. We were walking home having our classic argument, predestination VS. free will, we often switched sides in it depending on what our moods were at the time. "And besides dude, the only reason you support predestination right now is because you failed that bio test this morning and you want something to blame it on."

I smiled, he was right of course but I wasn't going to give up that easy. "No, I support predestination right now because I am and always have been predestined to do so at this moment."
"That's complete bull and you know it"
"Yeah, ha, you got me dude I honestly think-" a screeching noise noise cut me off, "what's that?"
"Maybe it's the TARDIS."
"Not funny, seriously what the hell is that?"

It was getting louder, me and John turned around and saw the most beat-up gray Camry ever round the corner, and go toward us, it screamed to a halt a few feet away and the tinted windows went down just as a voice called out, "'Sup guys?" It said.

It took me a second and then I recognized who was speaking, it was Mike, Mr. "Get his hands on anything and I mean anything for a low enough price that you look the other way instead of trying to think about his methods", "Oh, hey Mike, I didn't know you had a car." He chuckled.
"I didn't, at least, not until last week when I finally made enough to buy it"
"Last week? ok, 1: how did you make enough for a car, and 2: where did you drive for a week so you couldn't show up in school?" (Mike was good, but he almost never made more than 300 or so dollars per week.)

He seemed a little annoyed at the 2nd question "Who are you, my mom?"
"No, I'm your lab partner, and one day I'm probably gonna run out of excuses as to why you can't show up"
"I don't believe it, you're way to good at BSing people for that to happen"
"Thanks, at least you got over your mono"

He looked at me, "I didn't get", his expression changed, "really dude? mono? you couldn't have said something like 'he broke his arm' or some crap?"
"Eh, I'm sure no one will care, anyway, how did you make enough cash to get a car?"

He looked around for a second before talking, "I got into a new field of business, selling some new stuff." He patted his bag, "speaking of which, you guys up for some fun?"

John spoke up before I got a chance, "Nah man, I got mad stuff to do" He turned to me, "Catch you later dude"
"Alright man, see you." He left.

Mike said goodbye and turned to me "You in?" he asked. I thought about it, it didn't seem like the best idea, but if I'm to trust health class than really shrooms are no more dangerous than alcohol, and it seemed like it'd be a pretty cool experience, eh what the hell, try everything once, right?
"I'm in."

Back at Mike's house I'm having second thoughts, hesitating with my hand over the bag. "You sure these things are safe man?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah man, had 'em before" he pops one into his mouth

"Alright, here goes," I eat one. Then we wait, after about 30 seconds I turn to my friend. "You sure these work? I don't feel any different."

"Yeah man, they work, you just have to wait a bit, wanna play CoD or something till it kicks in?"

"Sure."

It's been about 20 minutes and I'm getting kind of sick of TDM, ready to call it a day and go home I turn to my friend and see, well that's just it, I have no idea, he just looks weird, I look around the room and the colors seem to be shifting and forming weird patterns everywhere. The two of us stand up and wander around mike seems just as weird by stuff as meandwe keepwalkinganditalljustblursaroundand...

***

I wake up in a daze hearing birds and feeling grass, I'm outside, how did I get outside? My thoughts are a complete mess, before I even open my eyes, ideas and flashbacks began to swirl around my mind, I shake my head, this actually does a little to help me think clearly. Ok, now I need to figure out what happened, going forwards from the previous (few hours? day? no idea) I was walking home with John, or Mike, no, it was John, aaaand what happened? Mike rode up, in a car, he has a car now, and he offered me... shrooms I think, yeah it was shrooms, we both ate one, and then, what happened next? Nothing, blank from then till now. No wait, we went outside, then I must have passed out from, something, probably in his backyard. I open my eyes and find myself looking up into the oddly humanesque eyes of a bright blue horse.

"HOLY SHIT!" I yell, and the horse jumps away from me just as I scramble away from it. I back up into a tree and start breathing heavily. Then something happens that I really hadn't expected, it spoke, or rather, it yelled at me.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" it (or I suppose she, judging from the voice) demanded of me.

"uh, uh" I stuttered, not sure what to think, now that I had moved away I noticed that her main was rainbow-colored and she had wings, "uh" (c'mon man, the "getting out of trouble" part of my brain took over, you know what to do, no excuse just turn it on them) "Wha-who, are YOU and what are YOU doing here would be a better question" I said as accusingly as I could,

Her eyes narrowed, "I am Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all of Equestria and future Wonderbolt." I rolled my eyes at her obviously well-practiced introduction and title.

I think for another minute and realize something, I'm probably still on the shrooms, I'm not entirely sure why but this thought calms me immensely, I then answer her, "Well Ms. Dash, My name is, well, I actually can't remember right now, which is really weird, but anyway it's nice to-" I stop as I am about to reach toward her for a hand-shake (hoof-shake, hoofhand-shake) when I look down at my hand, or, where my hand should have been, it was a hoof, I HAD A HOOF,

Rainbow was looking at me really weirdly. "Something wrong?" she asked.

I was stammering again, "uh, uh, ho HOOVES!" she seemed very alarmed by my yelling but I didn't take that much notice as I was far to busy noticing how I had changed, "I HAVE HOOVES, AND A TAIL, AND FOUR LEGS, and, and, no hands..." I said in horror, the calmness and comfort of thinking I was just hallucinating was gone, no hands, why didn't I have hands? I tried to stand and run but I only fell on my face, then everything started to fade to black

A/N: Well there you guys go, an intro chapter to the story, I kind of teased with the Dr. Who references and I apoligize for the lack of our friend The Doctor but I didn't want to really introduce him just yet, the next chapter will be in 2-3 days and will really get things started, all comments are welcome here.

Chapter 2

Laying down in a bed with my eyes closed, if feels firm, and odd like, like, I'm having trouble placing it, and then a smell hits me, it's a clean but chemical smell, the kind you get at hospitals...HOSPITALS! I open my eyes and notice the white curtain around where I'm laying down, I'm in a hospital, I start to remember the last few hours and things start to fall into place, Mike has a car, shrooms, Mike gave me shrooms and we tripped out and I either hallucinated or dreamed that about a talking bright-blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane and somehow I turned into a horse myself, that was fucking weird. I wonder how it went for Mike, Mike, I don't remember seeing hm with the horse and, oh shit, if I'm in the hospital, where's Mike and what the fuck happened?

I quickly sat up in the bed and felt incredibly dizzy from the sudden movement of blood (or whatever the hell it is that makes you feel weird when you lay down to long and then suddenly sit up), I recovered from that pretty quickly but then felt an even stranger feeling. It was almost like numbness but not quite as, well, numb, it was as though my entire body had been rearranged, and although everything felt there, none of it felt exactly, in place, it made my head hurt so I brought up a hand to rub it. And that's when I noticed that there I didn't have hands, and then I looked down at my body...

"HOLY SHIT!" I screamed. "WHY THE HELL AM I STILL A GOD DAMNED HORSE?!" I pushed myself out of the hospital bed and crawled under the curtain, then to the window, it was late in the morning. There was no way I was still under the effects of the shrooms after almost a full day. No, this was real, I was really a gray miniature horse in a crazy cartoon world, does that mean that the other one, "Rainbow Dash" was real as well? I mean, I was a horse, but I was charcoal gray with a white mane and tail, I'm pretty sure those are natural colors for horses. Real horses don't have rainbow-colored manes and bright blue fur, and Pegasi are imaginary, I mean, humans exist, but that doesn't mean someone couldn't hallucinate a neon-haired blue-skinned angel. My mind continued to wander and I became so lost in thought that I didn't notice that someone was coming towards the room until the door opened and a white mare with a pink mane and tail with a first aid symbol on her rump.

"What are you doing on the floor? Get back into bed before you hurt yourself", She said as she rushed over and started to help me up.

"Ugh, my head hurts", I complained. 3 times I failed to keep my balance while attempting to stand. On the fourth try, I managed to get it right, but I was still rather wobbly as I awkwardly made my way to the bed. Part of me kept wanting to stand like a human, and I was grateful enough for this mare's help, and spent so much mental effort on just my balance, that I tried not to think about my situation and mental health, however, that subsided when I got to the bed and laid down. "Thank you, um, this may sound odd but, who are you, where are we, and how did I get here?"

She smiled kindly and then responded, "I'm nurse Redheart, and you're in Ponyville General Hospital. A pegasus-pony named Rainbow Dash brought you here after you passed out in the ever-free forest, she said you were acting strange, so we decided to give you your own room. You seem to have taken a blow to the head, and she said you couldn't even remember your name. And then you started staring at your hooves and screaming, we did an examination and they seem to be fine, in fact", she somehow picked up a clipboard with her hoof, then read it "You appear to be completely fine, aside from your apparent case of amnesia and slight dizziness"

I looked at her, I didn't have amnesia, but then again I didn't really feel like telling her about where I'm from so I decided to play along, at least until I knew more, "Um, yeah, I can't seem to remember anything and, wait, did you say pegasus? you know pegasi aren't real, right?"

She seemed taken aback, "That's an odd thing to say, coming from a pegasus like yourself..."

"Wait, what? Lady I may be a talking horse-"

"Pony"

"What?"

"You're a pony, just like me, except for your wings, which make you a pegasus."

"Ok, whatever, talking pony, but I'm sure as shit no pegasus"

The swear didn't seem to bother her specifically, she only seemed to be confused (maybe ponies don't curse, or maybe she wasn't expecting it), but she did seem to be slightly annoyed, "For Luna's sake, look at yourself if you don't believe me." I listened to her and slowly turned around, not wanting to re-experience the shock that caused my "hands-to-hooves" outburst.

"Oh my god, I've got wings" I turned and looked at her, "Wings, I, have, wings"

She no longer seemed annoyed with me, she actually looked rather concerned, "Oh dear, I've heard of bad cases of amnesia before but never somepony actually forgetting what they were, ca-can you move your wings?"

"I'll try." I said. I tried to feel them, it was odd at first, there didn't seem to be much blood-flow in them, like they were asleep, and the feeling afterwards was even stranger, as though you had an extra arm or leg or something and just found out, but not, they were, my wings, so much a part of me that trying to imagine not having them, even after just getting them, was like trying to imagine losing my legs. I stretched them out and gave one powerful flap that sent me into the air, then glided over to the door and landed. "Ok, those work", I said, not even trying to hide my grin, this was freakin' awesome, and on top of flying, I noted as I maneuvered them around, they seemed to be almost a dexterous as my hands were, hmm, if this was the price of being able to fly, yeah, I could deal with that.

"Oh, well I see you're not having to much trouble with flight there. As I was saying, you seem to be perfectly healthy, aside from your amnesia and you don't seem like a danger to yourself or others, so it's time for you to check out."

"What, just like that? This town is completely foreign to me, where should I stay? What about money?"

"Well, I hear a yellow pegasus-pony named Flutter Shy is renting out an extra room in her cottage, it may be on the edge of town but it should do until you can get a house of your own, as for work..." she looked like she was checking out my ass (or I suppose I would call it a flank, as I was a pony now) and I was slightly worried she might suggest I do her for cash or something, not that she was entirely unattractive, but the idea just seemed really weird, as I had just become a pony yesterday (last night?) and the thought still felt a bit like bestiality.

"HEY! What are you doing?"

"Relax, I'm just looking at your cutie mark, do you remember what a cutie mark is?"

"No."

"It's a design on your flank (wow, totally called it) that signifies what your special talent is, but I'm not entirely sure what flames are supposed to mean"

Hmm, I thought, flames, well I've always been pretty good with pyrotechnics, but I'm also a decent survivalist, so it could represent camp-fires. "I'm not sure either", I responded, "Are there any jobs that don't require some predestined specialization?"

"Well the town's weather team might be hiring and since you already know Rainbow Dash you may be a likely candidate, and the apple family may be needing some extra farm-hooves for the harvest, so I would suggest starting in one of those places, you got all that?"

"Yeah, I think so, well I guess I'll be going now, bye."

"Exit is just down the stairs to your left, bye now."

I thought to myself as I left, Well that was pretty informative, what was that she said about a weather team? Could it have to do with meteorology? Why would something like that not require any special training? Eh, guess I should check it out, who knows? Maybe it'll be cool, it certainly sounded more interesting than working on a farm. And with that, I stepped outside, ready to make a new life for myself (at least temporarily) in this new world.

Chapter 3

As I walked out the door of the hospital into Ponyville I felt the hot sun beat down on me, the day was just beginning, I was in a town that had multiple open job opportunities (pretty big for someone just turning 16), and likely a place to stay until I got things sorted out. Well, I thought, looks like this isn't too bad. And that's when it hit me, or rather, she, hit me.

“Look out!” I heard from somewhere, likely up above.

“Whaa?” was all I could get out before, seemingly out of nowhere, a blue comet with a rainbow trail slammed into me and knocked me to the ground with such force that looking back on it, I'm surprised I didn't have to turn around and recheck into the hospital right then and there. I slowly and shakily got to my feet, err...hooves, and looked at the pony now laying on the ground who had done this, it was that pegasus, Rainbow Dash, eh, at least now I wouldn't have to take the time to find her. "Hey, are you alright?"

She jumped up and snapped at me “Hey buddy, watch where you're going will ya?”

I was taken aback, “Watch where I'm going? YOU'RE the jerk who decided to dive-bomb me while I was walking out of a hospital. Who even does that?” She immediately got right in my face and started yelling.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?! IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE HAY-BRAIN, I AM RAINBOW DASH, THE FASTEST FLIER IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA AND THE ONE AND ONLY KNOWN PONY TO PERFORM THE SONIC RAIN-BOOM! SO DON'T STEP TO ME OR I'LL KICK YOU'RE FLANK SO BAD YOU COUGH UP A PIECE OF MY HOOF! GOT IT?!”

This is not going well, I thought, I should probably say something to try and calm her down, “Whoa, just chill out for a second, okay? I’m not trying to catch any trouble here alright?”

“I will NOT ‘chill out’, buddy, I’m kind of in a hurry here, I have to visit somepony I found in the woods who was, according to Nurse Redheart, so scared he went into a psykotraumata-whatever. So get out of my way. NOW!” So she was on her way to visit me? Damn, now I feel kind of bad, guess I should tell her who I am.

“Oh?” I said. “What does he look like?” She answered me hurriedly.

“He’s a charcoal-grey pegasus with a white mane, fire for a cutie mark, and…He’s, you.” She glared at me and I grinned.

“Yeah, I just checked out. I seem to have no problems at all, you know, except for being a completely unknown stranger and having no belongings or memory of who I am, that is. Speaking of which, I wanted to ask you about something.”

She responded quickly, “No. You’re not staying with me, so leave that thought out of your head, alright?”

“Umm, okay, that wasn’t it though; Nurse Redheart told me a pegasus named Flutter Shy is renting out a room in her cottage. My problem is that I’ll likely need some money for that, as I will for other things later on, the nurse also told me you were in charge of something called the “Weather Team”. Is that right? Because I’d like to know more about it, particularly if there’s an opening.”

“Oh, sure, basically the Weather Team is a group of pegasi who control the town’s weather and makes sure farmers and stuff get enough rain.”

“Oh, that’s interesting, umm, I, is this the part where you tell me I’ve got the job?” I looked at her with a mixture of hope and the closest thing to my charming smile I could achieve while still having a pony’s face.
She laughed before answering me, “No, it’s not, even if it was you wouldn’t get paid for a few days, don’t worry though, Flutter Shy is a friend of mine and she’ll have no problem helping a down on his luck pony out, especially, a good-looking friend of mine, just be warned, I don’t know you too well and you seem a good stallion, but if you do anything to hurt her, just remember what I told you before ‘bout my hoof, her cottage is down that road, (she pointed towards a dirt path away from town) but I’m gonna need to see ya tomorrow before I can say whether you can be in the weather team, be at town hall 1:30ct got all that?”
“Yeah, sure, thank you so much for all of this, Rainbow”, I said appreciatively.
“No prob dude, and call me Dash, see ya tomorrow for the ‘interview’, umm, have you remembered your name yet?”
“No, but, call me Blaze for now, I’ll think of a last name for myself later”
“Okay Blaze, goodbye for now”
“See you later” I set off towards “Flutter Shy’s” cottage.

I was walking down the path, thinking to myself about, myself, why couldn’t I remember my name? I could remember everything else, my friends, the ‘shrooms, how we used that fake I.D. to get drunk after going outside and did that hashish and- what? My mind had just been wandering, and I seem to have remembered why I had so much trouble at first, so drugs were to blame eh? I didn’t really care at that point, I had strangely gotten over the shock far quicker than I expected to, a quote rang out in my mind “your mind is always your most powerful weapon”, and maybe it’s good for other things as well, I finished in my mind.
Thoughts kept floating through my head, how about that Rainbow Dash, huh? Now THAT was an odd one for you, reminds me of those colonist girls when the shipments get delayed, ha, some part of me wants to make a witty pun about weather and dripping and sky-falling liquids. She flips out at me one minute, refers to me as a good-looking friend the next, and now she’s gonna try and help me find somewhere to stay AND get a job. What was with that warning anyway, she’ll beat me up if I hurt Flutter Shy? Clearly a close friend of hers, but what would make her so protective? It may have to do with her living so far away from town, I think in reference to my throbbing hooves and legs, wait a second, why aren’t I flying? I realize.
Well, I thought, no sense in walking, and I might as well practice my flight control if I’m gonna try to control the weather tomorrow, controlling the weather, what an odd job I wonder if-CRASH! OW! I should really pay attention to flight first, before trying to multitask.
“Okay”, I said, “time to do this for real.” I stretched my wings out and gave them a single, powerful flap which propelled me briefly into the air, as if I had jumped. I decided to start with running and jumping first to give myself momentum, this would have been so much easier if I had seen one of those village pegasi take off from the ground first. I backed up a little, started running, then sprinting, then leapt and started flapping my wings, I was doing it! I was flying! Flying out in the open like this was a far more amazing experience than a single flap in a hospital hotel room. I was actually going rather high, so I straightened out my wings and began to glide. I noted that by shifting my shoulders slightly I could lock my wing joints into place so I could rest them while still keeping a decent altitude.
I started to experiment with tilting my wait and wings to steer, and had that down in no time, was flight this easy for all pegasi to learn? No, it couldn’t be, it had to be like walking, I could just do it quicker because, I guess I just got landed with a body that just happened to be at the same stage of development proportionally as I had gone through as a human, that made sense right? I should remember to ask Dash about it later, or, wait. Isn’t the mare who’s room I’m about to rent a pegasus? I guess I’ll ask her when I get to her house (or cottage, I think the nurse called it), I should probably ask more about money as well, what’s it called, how it looks, it’s worth in relation to things. Thinking about the money started to make me think about government, I was wondered how Equestria was ran, how big it was, what surrounded it. ‘Maybe there’s a librar-’, my thought were interrupted by a loud, grating, but somewhat familiar noise. Like, like, LIKE PIANO WIRE SCRAPING AGAINST A KEY!
“No. Fucking. Way.” I said to myself, but nonetheless looked up, there it was, the TARDIS, the actual, honest-to-god, straight-outta-the-Whoniverse, TARDIS. Or just a crashing British police box that happened to make the same sound, some terribly pessimistic part of me thought. Oh well, either way I should probably stay just a little bit away until it hits the ground, which can’t be long now I thought. I landed on the path, stood still, and watched as the TARDIS, still spinning and making the intense little “brakes-still-on” noise. Until, CRASH! It landed in the grass just beside the path a short distance away with enough force to make a small crater and let me feel a not-entirely unexpected tremor.
I quickly rushed towards it, just as I was getting close the door opened and who else but doctor #11 stepped out, looked at me, and called out my recently thought-up name for myself.
“Blaze! There you are.” He looked back into the TARDIS. “Michael, I found Mr. Flare-happy”
I heard Mikes sarcastic voice from inside, “Oh, very good and it only took this box of yours what, six tries?”

Update

umm, i'm sorry everyone, and I realized I still haven't delivered much on the "4th wall breaking" or "origin story" part of my description part yet, but idk about this, I thank and apoligize to whomever you were that liked this, but I have another story posted (and a third one written in a notebook of mine which I'll post when I find it) and they seem to have much more potential, I'm gonna cancel this, sorry.