Princess Celestia Gets A Carrot Stuck in Her Nose
"Ah, thank you," Princess Celestia said as a waitress set down a silver platter in front of her. The waitress bowed and silently backed away.
"What are we eating today?" Luna asked. Celestia lifted the domed top off the platter.
"Salad," she noted, "and carrot cake, and carrots with ranch dip."
"All of these carrot related food remind me of a joke. Care to hear it?" Luna asked, taking some of the salad and dumping it into her own bowl. Celestia shut her eyes.
"Does it have outhouse humor in it, Luna?" She inquired. Luna grinned mischievously.
"Perhaps."
"Even if I forbade it, you'd tell it anyway, wouldn't you?"
"Yes." Luna crunched on a carrot and lettuce.
"Out with it, then," Celestia said. Luna swallowed and grinned.
"What is invisible and smells like carrots?" She asked. Celestia had already guessed, but pretended not to know.
"I don't know. What is it?"
"Bunny farts!" Luna proclaimed, pumping a hoof in the air. "Is that not funny, sister?"
"Hilarious," Celestia answered with a roll of her eyes. Still, she couldn't stop a smile from peeking out of the corner of her mouth.
"Try some of these carrots," Luna suggested between bites. "They're fresh and juicy!"
"Alright," Celestia agreed. "I will." Using her telekinesis, Celestia raised up a carrot. She closed her eyes in a royal was as she raised the carrot to her mouth and took a bite.
Her teeth closed down on air. Celestia felt a sharp jab in her nose.
"OH! HA HA!" Luna chortled. "THOUGH ART FUNNY, CELESTIA!" Celestia slowly opened her eyes and focused on her nose. A long orange stick poked out of it.
"AND YOU ARE CROSS EYED AS WELL!" Luna practically screamed at the hilarity. Celestia sat, staring at the carrot until something clicked in. Her panic mode was activated.
"OH MY CELESTIA THERE'S A CARROT STUCK IN MY NOSE OH MY GOSH OH MY SWEET CELESTIA OH MY GOSH GET IT OUT GET IT OUT GET IT OUT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Celestia screamed in panic. She flared her wings and shook her head wildly, which only made Luna laugh harder.
"THOU JUST... SWORE... ON HER OWN NAME!" She gasped out.
"LUNA! GET IT OUT GET IT OUT GET IT OUT!" Celestia screamed at her sister. "IT IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE GUARDS GUARDS GUARDS ROYAL EMERGENCY EVERYPONY COME HERE HELP HELP HELP HELP!" A hundred Royal Guards swarmed into the room.
"What seems to be the prob- Oh." The first guard cut himself off when he saw the very obvious problem. "How may we assist?"
"PULL IT OUT!" Celestia shrieked. "IT IS VERY TICKLISH AND IT BURNS!"
"BURNS?" Luna's laughter increased once more. "THOU THINKS A CARROT BURNS?" While she laughed, the guard, who happened to be an Earth Pony, cautiously stepped forward.
"Should I remove it with my hooves?" He asked.
"YESSSSSS!" Celestia accidentally shrieked. Luna laughed harder.
"I MUST FIND A CAMERA!" She gasped and flew out of the room, her flight shaky.
The guard nervously put two hooves on the carrot and tugged. Nothing happened. He pulled again. Nothing happened.
"Uh, maybe a unicorn could do a better job," he suggested, diving behind another guard. "You go."
The Unicorn guard stepped forward and enveloped the carrot in his telekinesis magic. He gently pulled. Nothing happened. He gently tugged. Nothing happened.
"Uh, maybe somepony else should try," he said. "I'm really tired."
At this moment Luna choose to return with a camera, still laughing like a lunatic.
"I HAVE RETURNED!" She proclaimed, swooping down to snap pictures of the next attempt to dislodge the carrot.
"STOP TAKING OUT OF CONTEXT PHOTOS, LUNA!" Celestia thundered. "IT BURNS!" Luna laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.
Each guard had a chance to dislodge the carrot. Sadly, no one succeeded.
Five hours later, Celestia still had a carrot stuck in her nose.
"I AM DOOMED!" She cried. Luna, who's laughing had slowed down a tiny bit, started laughing again.
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" She yelled, collapsing on the table. Her hood swept sideways and hit Celestia in the face.
"LUNA!" Celestia yelled joyously. "YOU KNOCKED OUT THE CARROT!" Luna didn't respond, she just kept laughing. And laughing. And laughing.
"Thank you!" Celestia picked up Luna in a hug. "You can have all the carrot cake as a reward!" Luna kept on laughing.
"Get... to... hospital!" She gasped out.
"What? Why?" Celestia asked.
"Died of... laughter," Luna replied feebly. She suddenly relapsed into her laughing fit.
"Should we help, Princess?" One guard asked. Celestia shook her head in response.
"Luna will be fine," she answered. "Could you summon the kitchen crew to clean up? And notify Raven that today is now Carrot Day, and she needs to write up an official proclamation."
"Yes, Your Majesty." The guard bowed and walked out of the room. Celestia looked at Luna, who was still laughing. I wonder if letting her endlessly laugh on the moon for another thousand years is an option.
~
Announcing the newest Equestrian holiday: Carrot Day! In honor of the Royal sisters, Carrot Day will take place each year on August 4th. Festivities are to include carrot themed foods, free bunny adoptions, and carrot themed decorations. Officially listened by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.
Author's Note
Luna laughing like a lunatic. Lol.
