Magical Unicorn Mayonnaise
0-0-0-0-0
With the evening sun just beginning to set over the horizon, Trixie felt as if she, too, were reaching her end. The heavy weight of her wagon behind her creaked and groaned as she finally came to a stop, releasing her umpteenth grunt as she glowered at the outskirts of Ponyville.
It had been a while since her last show here, and it hadn’t exactly gone ‘well’. Considering that half of the audience that showed up was only there to insult her, Trixie was not necessarily optimistic for this performance, either. Her frown etched further into her face as she tiredly dropped the stops for the wooden wagon wheels, magically hefting them into place. She always had to watch the wretched things, the wheels were almost as likely to fall off as they were to keep rolling at the wrong moment.
The last time that had happened, she’d lost half of her belongings to a river that refused to give anything back.
But Ponyville had no rivers in the immediate area, there were no rabid timber wolves after her, and her pursuers had long since given up their chase. Trixie was bound and determined to make at least something out of her most recent shows. But as she threw a quick glance up at the moon and the tumbling clouds on the horizon, Trixie still wasn’t too positive that it would end well. She grunted to herself, latching the caravan door sharply closed behind her as she dropped tiredly into her makeshift bed. She was too tired to even wash up after the long and arduous travel, and blearily decided to put it off until morning.
“That’s right, come one, come all!” the colt she had (under)paid to announce her arrival didn’t sound nearly as enthusiastic as Trixie wanted him to be shouted, but ponies began gathering around her nonetheless. The cloudy skies from before had transformed into a bright and cheery blue, and the warm midday sun bounced happily off of Trixie’s enormous amount of glittering sequins that she had decorating the stage.
She readjusted her hat and threw her hoof out from behind her shining cape, dragging a polished performance that she had been practicing.
“Be prepared!” Trixie bellowed proudly, attempting to silence the chattering in the crowd. “Yes, prepare yourselves for the greatest show you’ve ever seen – the incredible, the magnificent, the great and powerful Trixie!”
“I called it,” came a familiar scratchy voice from the crowd. “AJ, you owe me five bits.”
“Yes indeed!” Trixie began to sweat a little as a few more of her crowd slipped away. “The greatest show in Ponyville, performed by Equestria’s greatest magician! Watch and be amazed!”
With a quick bolt of magic, Trixie fired up a wobbly swift spell on herself and simultaneously held up a single plastic hoop, leaping over the entire length of the stage – however, instead of landing, Trixie vanished in an explosion of confetti the moment she touched the hoop, rematerializing on the opposite side of the stage.
Of course, that was all part of the illusion. Temporary doppelgangers never lasted more than a few seconds, which was all the time Trixie needed to perform a trick such as that one. The applause she received was more of a polite and slightly bored round, only serving to heighten her panic. It wasn’t like her to start worrying until she’d lost nearly half the crowd.
Which really said something about her state of affairs when she was used to losing half of her audience in a single show.
“Only an introduction to the impressive and mystical powers of the great and powerful Trixie!” she lied boastfully, forcing a tense smile onto her face. The doppelganger had been the main act, and she had rushed it out in an attempt to placate the crowd.
“Well, alright then,” retorted some tan youngling at the front that she immediately vowed vengeance upon. “We didn’t come all the way out here for nothin’, did we?”
“One cannot rush perfection,” Trixie snorted, tossing her mane back proudly as she reached again for the magic. “Stand in awe as I dazzle you all with my next magnificent act!”
Her head might as well have been replaced with her rump for how swiftly she was talking out of her ass, and Trixie knew it. But she refused to let her potential fans slip away now.
The accustomed strain of using magic out of her level pressed heavily on her as she struggled to contain it, forcing it to take shape and form to her will. The glowing blue aura that sparkled with a deep sheen rose in a violent whirlwind beneath her, and she let out a proud laugh as her mission was accomplished. She could already feel the Radiance spell taking effect, one that she had studied(ish) for emergencies. A little modification like forcing anypony to see her to become smitten couldn’t be a bad idea, and as they all gawked at her in wonder, Trixie’s smirk grew. A few catcalls and whistles came from the suddenly entranced audience, mares and stallions alike that all couldn’t take their eyes off of her.
“Behold!” Trixie tossed back her cape. “No other can dazzle like OH MY CELESTIA!”
Trixie quickly discovered why she had become the subject of such focused attention all of a sudden, and it wasn’t because her spell had worked. Or rather, it had worked, but certainly not in the manner she expected it to.
She also did not expect the raging erection knocking between her legs, which she was swift to clamp her favorite hat down over in embarrassment. It seemingly sprouted from where her clitoris had previously been, protruding painfully with an eager, almost cheerful little upward curve.
“Show’s over!” Trixie squeaked, drawing backward into the curtains and magically closing up the entire portable stage as rapidly as possible. Her face was burning furiously as she caught her breathing and gawked in horror at the fleshy addition between her legs, which bobbed merrily with every step.
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!
Trixie anxiously attempted to touch the speckled, healthy looking member, still in shock and certain that it was simply a very fine illusion that would vanish at any second. However, the protrusion remained, and felt quite firm and warm to her touch. Sensitive, much more than she expected it to be. She slowly slid a hoof down the shaft, unable to look away from her own tender and severely unwanted penis.
“Stop playing with it!” she scolded herself aloud, shaking her head hard and immediately dusting off her poor hat, which had a dribble of something sticky and white just on the inside that she didn’t want to think about. Why was it so sensitive?
An equally unwanted banging came at her door, and she screwed up her eyes in concentration as she tried again to magically remove her new meat stick.
“Go away,” Trixie said more loudly. “The show is over, a little easily remedied accident is all, please don’t sue!”
“Aw, shucks, I ain’t gonna sue. Just lemme in, alright?”
Trixie’s ears perked up nervously at the rustic tone, and she warily peered out of her shades to ensure that nopony else was trying to barge in. With a creak, she opened her door just a crack to peek at the guest with a frown.
“Long time no see,” Applejack grinned.
“Oh, Celestia, it’s you,” Trixie’s look of annoyance turned to one of despair. “Look, I’m just trying to make a living here, you don’t have to go chasing me out with torches and pitchforks-”
“Alright, I’m just gonna cut to the chase.” The farm pony tossed back her braided mane with a serious look leveled at the unicorn, who was attempting to hide all but her face behind the door. “I came out ‘cause I was curious what all the ruckus was about and I saw that you got yourself –”
“A new hat, yes, it’s very nice,” Trixie deadpanned.
“A great big stiff cock,” Applejack’s grin widened, and Trixie shifted uncomfortably. Partially from the look she was giving her, and partially because the longer that she looked at the farm mare’s rosy freckled cheeks, the more optimistic her magic-fueled boner became.
“It’s an illusion,” Trixie shifted awkwardly, feeling something hot rising up and poking her in the belly. There was simply no way that it was her new member, it was even bigger than most she had seen and why wouldn’t it go down?
“Uh huh,” Applejack said in a clearly unconvinced tone. “That’s why you’re hiding it from me.”
Trixie scowled, but Applejack only clucked her tongue.
“Look, how ‘bout this…” she began with a tilt of her Stetson hat. “You seem like you could use a friend in this particular situation. How about you let me on in, and I’ll see what I can do t’help you out?”
“Oh, please,” Trixie rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the painfully throbbing sensation that kept prickling at her every time Applejack’s eyes met hers. “Unless you’ve suddenly sprouted a first horn, I don’t know how you’re getting rid of my second one!”
“Well…” Applejack scratched her chin animatedly. “I’ll bet we could wear it out for you.”
“You-you’re serious,” the unicorn balked at her.
“Look,” Applejack’s eyebrows furrowed. “I can understand if you wanna take care of it yourself, so I guess I’ll just skedaddle…”
“Wait!” Trixie nervously called out after her as she walked away, not spotting the hidden triumphant little smirk.
“Yes?” Applejack blinked innocently, turning on the spot.
“Do-do you really think you can help me get rid of… this?” she asked awkwardly, eyeing down at herself behind the door.
“Well, I’d sure be remiss if I didn’t even try!” Applejack said optimistically.
Trixie sighed heavily, peering about for any other potential disturbances before tugging the door open another few inches and silently waving her inside.
Applejack whistled appreciatively in the dim light, taking in the sight.
Trixie continuously tried to kick one of her back legs out as if it would help hide her massive speckled boner, but it only served to throw her a little off balance.
“Will you just quit staring at it already?” she barked in humiliation. “I just want to get this-this abomination off of me, I’m a busy mare!”
“Well, I’ve probably gotta suck it…” Applejack hummed aloud, drawing closer for inspection.
“What?” Trixie flinched as Applejack’s soft touch surprised her. Her upturned hoof slid ever so slowly down the nodding head, propping it up.
“That’s how it goes in those dirt cheap Celestia-awful ‘adult romances’ all the time, ain’t it?” she chortled. “Ah, my Granny’s got a whole bookshelf of those, couldn’t stand a single one of ‘em.”
“Don’t pull!” Trixie hissed in equal parts surprise and sudden pleasure as a spark zipped up from the base of her throbbing penis and tingled its way up her spine. “Careful, you redneck-”
“Do you want my help or not?” Applejack asked flatly, looking up at her without releasing her.
“… Yes. Sorry.”
“Good to hear,” she grinned again, her face a mere inches from Trixie. “Now point that meat tube over here.”
“Poi- what?”
She did not get the chance for an answer, as Applejack’s mouth was full. Trixie moaned more loudly than she expected to as Applejack’s inexpert tongue wrapped around her head, stickily licking back and forth across the slit.
“... This is still only the third strangest thing that’s happened in here,” Trixie breathed shakily after a moment, her legs mysteriously wobbly as Applejack’s warm lips worked their way further and further down the shaft. It vaguely occurred to her that the mare really should have been gagging by that point. But it wasn’t like Trixie was going to admit that she was impressed by anypony else, and so remained silent.
Trixie let out another pleased moan as she felt herself touch the back of Applejack’s throat, a small part of her mind desperately wondering how she managed to get into this situation. The rest of her, however, was quite intent on getting further inside the eager farm pony. Applejack slurped greedily at her length, using her tongue to slither across her base as she took it all the way in the back of her throat, giving Trixie a dirty wink as she did so. The unicorn released another pleased hiss as she struggled to keep her hips in place, the overwhelming urge to thrust predominant in her mind.
“Nope,” Applejack said a little breathily as she withdrew (to Trixie’s silent disappointment), wiping a thin sliver of drool from her smiling lips. “Still on you. Guess we should try something else.”
“Maybe… maybe I have to g-get off first…?” Trixie gulped.
“Hey, it’s your spell,” she shrugged.
“Of course it is!” Trixie said with a burst of pride. “Do you think any other mare could have given themselves such a massive erection?”
Much to her surprise, Applejack slowly nodded.
“Different story for a different time,” Applejack grinned, placing her two front hooves onto Trixie’s small bed with impatient zeal. “Maybe if you show me that you know how to use one of those, I’ll tell you my lil’ secret.”
Trixie found herself positioning herself as if in a dream behind her, chewing her lower lip in concentration as she carefully positioned the tip against Applejack’s slit. She quietly noted that she was already rather wet, even more than Trixie was.
“… You really are loving this, aren’t you?” Trixie asked with a self-satisfied smirk as she slid her aching dick up and down her, using one hoof to spread her flanks a little more and peek at her winking anus.
“Yeah,” Applejack nodded hungrily. “Come on, don’t make me wait…”
“Oh?” Trixie teased her, grinding her needing erection against her clit instead, sliding it all the way down between the farm pony’s teats and back up in a hypnotic rhythm. “Well, you’re rather eager to get some, aren’t you? Are you really that excited to take it from a mare?”
“I’m not gonna beg for you, if that’s what you’re expec~ting,” Applejack wriggled her rear at her with a giggle, shifting her tail a little more out of the way. “I’m the one doing you a favor here, you know… hurry up and put it in already.”
“You know what you have to call me first,” Trixie said smugly, penis poised patiently against her pussy.
Applejack let out a quiet sigh, looking back at her from between her legs.
“The Great and Penisful Dick-sie?” she snorted.
Applejack yelped as she felt a sudden fullness where she wasn’t expecting it, leaving her marehood woefully unattended.
“Close enough,” Trixie grinned as she thrust hard into Applejack’s ass, making her moan loudly beneath her. “What, is this not where you wanted it?”
“Close enough!” Applejack said in a displeased tone, but did nothing to stop bucking her hips back against Trixie in ecstasy as her walls clamped down tightly on her.
Trixie’s hoof slid down to Applejack’s cutie mark, slowly sidling to cup one of her teats as her other hoof gripped her shoulder while she gave in at last to the carnal burning in her belly. The craving in her roared in satisfaction as she squeezed hard into Applejack’s surprisingly tight crevice, and she soon found herself panting hard against her back.
She feverishly reached for the magic once again, wildly wondering why in the world she ever wanted to get rid of something that felt so good. Her hips thrust hard in time to Applejack’s, her desire to reach deeper growing with every little delighted moan that Applejack fearlessly let out. The mare’s clit began to scream at her for release, her hoof between her legs incapable of bringing her to the climax she so desired. But Trixie was bringing her to one, even though it wasn’t how she expected.
To Applejack’s surprise, she found a similarly shaped, slightly glowing transparent stallion’s penis floating mystically in front of her face without warning.
“Well?” Trixie smirked, eyeing her creation as she focused magic on the levitating creation. “It’s not going to suck itself, farm mare.”
Applejack hesitantly opened her mouth in front of the glowing stallionhood, letting out a hot breath against it as she covetously began to suckle the tip. The moment she did so, Trixie shook in pleasure and gave a satisfyingly loud sigh as she fondled her, her thrusts increasing in intensity.
“Ah! I-I feel that!” Trixie moaned, hips bucking sporadically as she drew close. “Oh Celestia, oh Celestia, oh Celestia – it-it’s like having my mare cock sucked while I’m fucking you…!”
Applejack couldn’t quite answer, but instead shivered as she worked the shaft with all her might, now knowing that Trixie would feel it as well. The mere thought of being stuffed so ravenously from both ends made her excited, her quavering gyrations against her clit drawing her ever swifter to sweet release. She gasped in ecstasy as she came hard, her back arching as a lightning bolt rippled across her skin.
“Here it comes…!” Trixie grunted, face scrunched in focus as she spread Applejack’s rosy ass again, thoroughly enjoying the sight of her own plump dick riding in and out of her as she came. Trixie felt a bizarre, wondrous sensation of intense pleasure as she came, her vision finding spots for a couple of moments as she spurted one long stream after another into Applejack’s rear entrance.
Applejack collapsed quivering onto the small bed, and Trixie did the same shortly afterwards.
“D-don’t move too much,” Applejack breathed, still riding the high. “Leave it in. It feels really good…”
“It’s still not vanishing,” Trixie said without a hint of remorse, weariness hanging unexpectedly on her shoulders. She didn’t think that she had ever climaxed like that before, and certainly never so much. She could still feel her juices slipping dirtily down herself as Applejack stickily squeezed her, only serving to excite her again.
“Maybe we can find another way to get rid of it…” the farm mare said after a little while, wiggling pleasurably back against Trixie.
“Maybe not just yet…” Trixie answered with a content grin. “Trixie likes.”
“Oh, your name is Trixie?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘OH YOUR NAME IS TRIXIE?!”
0-0-0-0-0
Author's Note
Staying as 'complete'.
Unless you really, really want another chapter where Trixie learns the joys of autofellatio in front of an entire crowd.
