Chapters Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Prologue, the New Hostess & Her Co-hosts.
It was night and only 2 lights were lit in the house on Pie Family Rock Farm.
"Hello audience! *Ahem!* Hello Audience! *Ah-ahem!* HE..."
"Trixie, the camera is now rolling!" Said Igneous Rock.
"...This is really embarrassing." Then she began blushing a bright red which then blended with her blue coat making it purple.
"Quick, take 2!" Said Cloudy Quartz.
30 seconds later...
"Great, hello powerful and Trixie, it's I! (Oh no, I fouled up my lines in front of the readers!)" Then tears began forming in her eyes.
"Trixie honey, why don't you go to the kitchen, take a napkin, and calm down."
"O-okay boss."
"Alrighty, hello everypony, don't worry, Trixie will be back after the prologue. Trixie is the new hostess as you can see, and we're her co-hosts. I am Igneous Rock, over there on the couch is my wife Cloudy Quartz, and the 2 playing card on the table are Limestone & Marble Pie. Yep, G.M. Berrow gave us official names in the chapter books. Also, Pinkie & Maud should be here soon. If you're wondering where Trahzo the author is, well he's in the attic ready to write the last 20 ships, making him the Spike shipping overlord, well at least that's what he says in his sleep ever since he moved in."
"Well, as our daughter and Alex Side always say, enough chit-chat, time is candy!" Cloudy Quartz said while picking-up a T.V. remote.
"Yes, now for that 1st letter!"
"Wait!" Said Limestone & Marble.
"What is it girls?"
"Shouldn't we list down the 80 previous ships before we ask for the 1st letter?"
"Yes! Great Idea to end a series, well at least till now, because as Trahzo told us prior, since he's waiting for season 5 to release new females whom he will choose to ship with Spike." Agreed Igneous Rock.
"Now, how are we gonna do this?" Asked Cloudy Quartz
"Simple, we're gonna do it chronologically!"
"Chronologically?"
"Yeah, you know, from the publish date?"
"Oh, we see what you mean now!"
Applebloom.
Rainbow Dash.
Fluttershy.
Trixie Lulamoon.
Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo.
Octavia Melody.
Pinkie Pie.
Lyra Heartstrings.
Applejack.
Rarity.
Zecora.
Sunset Shimmer.
Cherry Jubilee.
Diamond Tiara.
Lightning Dust.
Babs Seed.
Silver Spoon.
Eris (R63 Discord).
A.K.Yearling Aka Daring Do.
Princess Luna.
Queen Chrysalis.
Gilda.
Little Strong Heart.
Derpy Hooves/Ditzy Do.
Winona.
Opalescence.
Ms. Cheerilee.
Spitfire.
Twist.
Bon-bon/Sweetie Drops.
Coco Pommel.
Princess Celestia.
The Mane-iac.
Photo Finished.
Milky Way.
Flutterbat.
Fleet Foot.
Daisy Jo.
Suri Polomare. (She now has a new middle name, which is Buttonbelle.)
Berry Punch.
Ms. Harshwhinny.
Torch Song.
Mayor Mare.
Chickadee Peachbottom.
Nightmare Rarity.
Philomena.
Nightmare Moon.
Pumpkin Cake.
Dinky Do.
Chimera.
Crackle.
Princess Cadance
Screw Loose.
Pearl (Her canon name is now Cookie Crumbles)
Aloe Blossom.
Lotus Blossom.
Moon Dancer.
Barb the Dragon (R63 Spike)
Blossom Forth.
Screwball.
Twilight Velvet.
Charity Sweetmint.
Vinyl Scratch/DJ PON3.
Nurse Red Heart.
Cupcake.
Fleur De Lis. (Her canon name is apparently Fleur Dis Lee)
Flitter.
Autumn Gem.
Maud Pie.
Cherry Berry.
Lilac Sky.
Sunrise Spring.
Colgate/Minuette.
Jinx.
Roseluck.
Sunset Satan.
Pinkamena.
Rova (R63 Rover).
"Boy that was a-lot! I'm having a hard time just trying to remember!" Said Limestone.
"In any case, take the the 1st letter out of the pile of fan mail!" Said Igneous.
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.1: I don't Mind if You Bug Me in June.
"Trixie has returned, now then...1st up is Junebug!"
"Who's Junebug?" Asked Marble
"She was a one episode pony who appeared in Secret of My Excess. Spike tried to take her flowers but Twilight luckily stopped her." Answered Igneous.
"So, from that one encounter in the show, we're shipping her?" Trixie questioned.
"It's an unlikely shipping, but since Spike's the only guy she interacted with in the show...so yes!"
"Very well, I'll start the scene transition, then watch T.V."
"Hey wait, she made a background appearance in Leap of Faith!" Limestone interjected.
"Oh yeah well there's that."
"..."
"Are you okay?"
"Err...what would make you think that?"
"Well, it's just that now you're wasting my time. Either buy your flowers or get lost!" Roseluck told Junebug.
"Sorry, okay....uh...ooh, there are just way too many good new choices!"
Junebug was very giddy today, lots of new flowers at Roseluck's stand and from other lands no less, oh and if you cannot tell the difference between Junebug & Carrot Top/ Golden Harvest, then here's the difference, Junebug has a light streak in the middle of her mane. Roseluck was about to chase her away till Spike stepped in.
"Roseluck, I'd like 20 Pikmin Flowers, 14 Gracidea Flowers, 16 Boomerang Flowers, 1 Daphne, and 18 Heart Flowers."
"Coming right-up Spike."
"Spike, what the heck? I was just about to..." Then he closed he lips with 2 fingers.
"No, you were not, so I decided for you!"
"Here you go Spike!"
"Thanks." Then he payed her.
"Now here, accept this fine Boquet Junebug."
" *Gasp!* Y-you're giving these to me?" She was trying her best not to blush.
"Yep, now next time don't be so fickle okay? Later."
"Later..."
"Ooooooh, somepony's got a crush on Spike."
"I do not! He just surprised me that's all." Then a hoof tapped her on the back.
"Um miss, could you please LEAVE SO US NINTENDO FANATICS CAN GET OUR HOOVES ON THE NEW FLOWERS?!"
"Heh heh heh heh heh, sorry about that nerds."
As Junebug headed back to her home, she took a good look at her bouquet.
"(He was just helping me, this is not a sign of love Junebug, get that through your head!)...but why do I feel that it is? Oh..." Then she bumped into someone! "Oof! Oh, please excuse m..."
"Oh-no, it's my fault, I was the one running."
"...Y-your majesty!" Then she bowed her head.
"Please, raise you head." Princess Celestia told her. "Now help me find a place to avoid the popparazi, because oh dear me, here they come!"
"Celestia, do you like being Pink or white?" Asked Shutterfly.
"Princess, do you have feelings for Twilight, or Luna?"
"Princess Celestia, are you a molester or a troll?"
"Help me, please, and I'll give you whatever you want!"
"Okay, come with me!"
Soon they made it into Junebug's house.
"Princess!"
"Princess! Please come-out!"
"We're going to expose all of your truths, secrets, lies, personal life, and whatever else embarrassing you sun butt!"
Then Celestia closed the curtains.
"This is bad, they know I'm somewhere here!"
"Why don't you just teleport?"
"I made a bet with Luna for me to not use my magic! Now she's trying to cheat by sending these annoying flanks after me!"
"Oh, now that's mean! I guess some of Nightmare Moon is still inside her!"
"Yeah, the part that makes her an ass, now I'll give you an award for saving me, anything you want!"
"Well, could you give me some advice?"
"What kind of advice?"
"Romantic advice."
"Ooh, you have a crush on somepony?"
"No! Maybe!" Then she started nervously looking at her bouqet.
"Did this somepony give you that bouqet, and now your heart is misinterpreting it as a sign of love?"
"Exactly." Then she closed her eyes in shame.
"There,there, it's nothing to be ashamed of, I in fact misinterpreted Discord's bouqet as a sign of forgiveness & friendship when it was really his sign of love."
"So...what happened afterwards?"
"We became Marefriend & Draqonequess friend, of course! Soon, we became husband & Wife! You should have seen him when he was such a sweetheart, he made sure everything went right."
"Really, that's nice." Then she started feeling down. "..."
"Hey come now, I'm sure whoever this guy is, he's very sweet and will gladly have you. So, who is he?"
"Spike."
"Spike? Oh, I've gotta tell him!"
"DON'T!"
"Why? He's hopelessly in love with an abusive bitch, and anyone would be much better than her, she even called him poo! POO I SAY!"
"Please, just give me advise."
"Fine, now look, Spike is a good kid, he'd help anyone in a pinch, even if it's something dire. I basically know everything about him. For a guy like him, it's best to just be out with it, if he doesn't except you, he'll reject you in a way where you 2 still end-up as friends."
"You really think so Princess Celestia?"
"Yes, I know everything about Spike! After all..." Then she opened the front door and stepped out "...I am his mother!" Then she closed the door.
Junebug stood there speechless.
"Spike...you have such a great life! (Wait!)" Then she remembered what Celestia said about Discord and remembered what Spike did earlier. "(Like father like son I guess.)" Then she looked at the bouqet he put in a vase again, then remembered the words of Celestia "(Even if it doesn't work out, me & Spike will still be friends!)"
The next day...
"Wow Junebug, how nice of you to invite me to lunch." Spike complimented. "And you've chosen such a good place to eat as well."
"Aw thank you Spike, it's the least I could do after you helped me pick out the new foreign flowers, just look, me & this Daphne have now become close!"
"It was nothing, I'm happy to lend a helping hand every time. Besides, those Nintendo nerds looked like they were going to kill you any second, and I wasn't sure if any of them were bronies who'd protect you as well."
"Must you always become the hero?"
"Oh, so you'd rather let them kill you?"
"No, but it was nice of you still that I gotta repay you somehow."
"And what a repayment I received."
"Hello there, are you ready to order?"
"Yes, I'll have this!"
"And I'll have this!"
"Any drinks?"
"Tap water for both of us."
"Alright, I will have your orders right away! Enjoy your date Prince Spike."
Then the both of them got surprised.
"Hey, this isn't a date!" Then he looked at Junebug who was completely flustered at the mention of the word date. "You know this isn't a date right?"
"Actually...I wanted to tell you something very important."
"(No way...did she really get me here unknowingly on a date...and now she's...)"
"Spike, after what happened yesterday, I tried to make myself know that you were just trying to be a good friend, but the bouqet you gave me, my heart just couldn't stop me from saying it was your sign of love!"
"So...w-what your saying is, that you...are in love with me?"
"Yes...so please except me Spike, my heart is longing for your love!"
Spike felt that for some reason that maybe he should be her drakefriend. If you ask me, it's because they share the same voice actress. Then he smiled at her.
"Junebug...I am impressed, you put in a lot of effort to try and win me over, but you didn't have to do this!" Then he got up from his seat and went-up to Junebug.
"Spike..." Then he kissed her cheek.
"I am flattered by what you have just did, and you know, I'd love to be yours."
"Yay!" Then she gave him a hug.
"You know, there were a lot more species of foreign flowers...you want me to buy some more for you?"
"Yes! Yes! Yes! Let's get about 20 Ice Flowers, 25 Bomb Flowers, a Sunflora, a Roserade, 26, no 30 Butterfloras, and..."
Spike just smiled and listened as his brand new sweet heart rambled on!
"...Oh, we're back? Sorry, ahem! Get the next letter!"
Meanwhile...
"Excuse me ma'am, have you seen someone who looks like the one on this wanted poster?" Asked a robotic Spikerules302!
"No."
"Damn! Alright, good day!" Said Captain Veetrix, the new captain of the royal guard! "Where are you Panzerbrony? I'm ready to defeat you!)"
"Sir!"
"What is it Private?"
"I just received word that Trahzo is in this village over here on the map!"
"Good, go to Ponyville and tell Captain Deezutra!"
"Sir yes sir!"
"(Uncle Deezutra, the time has come for you to strike down your 2nd greatest enemy!)"
Author's Note
The Pikmin Flower, an actual flower that was crossbred a long time ago when you bought the Pikmin 2 soundtrack. Gracidea Flower, 1st appeared in Pokemon Platinum & Pokemon Movie 11 Giratina and the Sky Warrior. Boomerang Flowers, 1st appeared in Super Mario 3D Land. Daphne, an enemy that 1st appeared in the original Kid Icarus. Heart Flowers 1st appeared in The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword. Ice Flowers, 1st appeared in Super Mario Galaxy. Bomb Flowers 1st appeared in Ocarina of Time. Sunflora, a 2nd Gen Pokemon. Roserade, a 4th Gen Pokemon, Butterfloras, from Flower Town, a streetpass game for the 3DS. Damn, Nintendo sure has a-lot of flowers, I predict Mario Florist soon, where Mario crosses over with Gardening Mama, you get to find all of the flowers from all the big Nintendo franchises, fight all the flower based bad guys and catch all the flower based Pokemon. Flowers, flowers, flowers, oh wont Wysteria & Fluttershy be happy to play this game?
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.2: No, not Tyra Banks!
"Hello there guard, please take leave, I'll be in charge of this prisoner."
"Why thank you Surprise." Then as the guard left..."Here's the key Panzerbrony!"
"Thanks, heh, heh, they think they can imprison me because I aided in the great Trahzo's escape? Those fools, now, where's my jet?"
"It's right outside with the 'thing' ! Don't worry, the brand new subscribers are helping me out free everyone else."
"Good, now it is imperative that you free Black Kirin, Fatboi, and Blood Brandy next!"
"Roger roger! Roger dodger!"
Meanwhile...
"The next is...." Then Trixie began trembling "...Tyra, the R63 Tirek!"
"Holy shit we're doomed!" Commented Igneous.
Lady Tyra has taken over Equestria, and has taken a prize in battle! Namely Spike, the well, former assistant to the deceased Princess Twilight Sparkle! Oh, did Tyra manage to mold him into an acceptable Lord to rule by her side. She'd much rather have a dragon than the recently deceased Discord rule by her side. Dragons are intimidating, and just as monsterous as her. But she didn't just take him for that, oh-no, she also wants a monster so intimidating that it will strike true fear into everypony's hearts! A dragon centaur demon, now that is scary! The fire heat resistance and armor of a dragon, the magic of a demon, and the traitorous equine lower body of a centaur! A terrifying creature combination to behold! Spike at 1st rebelled, but after lots of disciplinary beatings, he finally submit & with his broken mind, caused him to fall for her, outta forced love, and hey, you know what "those certain" people always say, Love is Evol spelled backwards, but with an I instead of an O. Okay, so I added that last part, but you know what I fucking mean! Spike, even though all the training is over, he still fears the monster that towers over his teenage body, but he succeeds at not showing it.
"(All of my friends are dead!)" He said as he walked down the castle that used to belong to princesses Celestia & Luna.
He has flashbacks of that horrific day, Twilight and her friends all thought they were able to win with the Rainbow Power, but Tyra absorbed that magic, and kept on absorbing until she began sucking out their life forces, and upon this discovery of this power, she used it to gain more power by absorbing the life from those who refused her will!
"(Lady Tyra...you beas....beautiful monster!) Nguh! Why can't my mind just express my hate for Tyra anymore? Grooouuaaaah!"
"Spike, are you feeling well my darling?"
"Yes, I'm fine!" He lied.
"Good, because despite you not having wings, we must create your horde my darling so you'll become as big as me! We'll go all over Equestria so you can have as much as you want till you're my size!"
"That sounds wonderful let's go shall we? (Maybe my greedy side can rebel her influence on my broken mind so I can finally break free!)"
So they took their leave and horded from the poor subjects. They couldn't believe that Equestria's final hero had betrayed them! They all now feared & hated Spike for forsaking them. Inside, Spike felt sadness and pain, but he still couldn't fight back! He grew & grew getting bigger as the hours went by till soon, he became a full grown dragon once again!
"So honey, you satisfied?"
"Graaaaaaaaaah! Spike want more!"
"Is..is that free will? Obey me!" Then she used her magic to force Spike to listen.
"Graaaah...yesssss dear!"
"That's a good fiance! Now come here and give me a kiss!"
"Yesss honey! (Dammit, and when my will was coming back!)"
Tyra & Greed Spike made out on top of his horde, then Spike grabbed her left breast and then eventually...he injected Tyra with what she needed to create an ultra powerful heir!
"That can't be good!" Said Limestone
"You said it! It's good that Tirek is male, otherwise if the show decided to take a dark turn with a female Tirek...oh my Celestia!" added Marble
*ding!* *dong!*
"Who could that be?" Trixie wondered as she tiptoed for the door.
"Careful, it may be the royal guard." Igneous whispered.
She slowly opened the door...
"Hi-yah family! I brought Maud!"
"Hello there." Maud said flatly.
"Oh thank goodness."
"Well, now that the gang's all here! Let's continue, next letter please!"
"Umm, you can just get it yourself you know."
"No, you 2 are suppose to do that!" Said Trixie
"Yep."
"Sorry dears."
"This sucks!"
"Yeah, we don't get a-lot of lines."
"Enough of this chit-chat! Next letter now!"
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
"Soarin, search the crash site, I want Panzer's body alive or dead!"
"Yes captain sweetheart!"
Then Spitfire blushed.
Meanwhile...
" *Huff!* *pant* (If only I had my tank)." Then Panzer bumped into a familiar face.
"Fox McCloud?"
"Who wants to know?"
"Someone who wants you to teach him the Landmaster Final Smash!"
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Sugar & Spice, the R63'd versions of Snips & Snails, and to be honest, they'd look helluva lot better as girls than boys! Trixie means, in G3 they were originally female!"
"Wait, I just realized something!" Cloudy Quartz interjected.
"What is it?"
"Since this is featuring ships 81-100, doesn't that mean this story will be one chapter short because of the double ship?"
"You're absolutely right!"
"Hey Trixie, look, the author sent you a letter!" Pinkie said.
"(Why is he being so lazy that he can't just come down & tell us?)" Trixie thought.
"So, what does it say?"
"Dear Ms. Lulamoon:
just like in the previous volume, there'll only be 2 double ships!
From Nathan Bryon Alcantara A.K.A Trahzo the Author!"
"Huh, well just begin the scene transition...now!"
Judging by the look on his face, Spike was...wait, why are we panning ou...oh my, let me say that again, judging by the look on his face, Spike was in fact enjoying where he was now! He didn't care that much if the 2 cute mares he was with were idiots, he actually was enjoying their attention.
"So Spike, what do you think we should do next?" Asked Sugar, or rather her big breasted version Sugar Lumps asked. She's usually drawn to look chubby but cute, with huge boobs.
"Yeah, please tell us boss!" Added Spice, yeah Spice has no big breasted version, most people draw her as having normal size, or flat. She's also drawn to look like an awkward mare.
Spike won a bet, where the losers must do whatever the winner says, but if you were to see the flashback, it looked like Sugar & Spice meant to lose.
"Hmm...well, are you 2 up to do something very embarrassing?"
"Are you kidding Spike? We're the queens of embarrassing!"
"Okay then, Sugar, Spice, we're going into the middle of town. Spice, you're going to put your head close enough to my crotch where others will think you're sucking me off! Sugar, you're going to sit on my lap and let me lay my hands on your lumps!"
"..." Then they began having 2nd thoughts.
"What's wrong? You did say the losers had to do what the winner says!"
"Fine."
"Okay."
Later...Oh, the position they were in as others passed by.
"Don't look Dinky!"
"How perverted!"
"How Spike got those 2 morons, to do something that's obviously to dumb even for them is beyond me!"
"Aww drat, how'd that lucky bastard get Sugar Lumps to let him grope her?"
20 minutes later...
"Wow, you girls really are the queens of embarrassing." said a very satisfied Spike. "Okay, you 2 can go now, I gotta get home!"
"Wait!"
"Hmm?"
"We want to go with you!"
"You girls want to walk me home? That's very nice of you 2."
"I'll take the left hand!" Declared Sugar.
"And I'll take the right!" Declared Spice.
Then both were giving cute smiles to him.
"(Damn, they're so cute! I thank my mother for letting me be with these 2 today.)"
A little later they made it to the castle.
"Thank you girls, I had a good time with you 2 today."
"Me too." agreed Sugar.
"Me 3." added Spice.
"Well, it was nice, see ya..." Then he was pulled over, then received a kiss from both. "What?"
"Now you know why we insist on hanging out with you so much!" Said Spice.
"Uh...so all those times back when we were kids...when the 2 of you would come over and ask Twilight if I could come out & play, then keep on pestering her to let me play? That was just you 2 trying to make me your man by using the childhood friend flag? Why couldn't you 2 have just asked me?"
"Because, back when we were kids you were huge ass!"
Then Spike thought back in his childhood.
"Oh, guess I was heheh." He said while scratching the back of his head!
"So, see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, babes! Seeing you've been this patient, impresses me." Then it was his turn to return their feelings. Then all 3 said their goodbyes, gave each other one last kiss, and went their separate ways for now that is. Meanwhile in the castle... "OH-NO!" Spike yelled.
"Spike, what's wrong?" Asked Twilight.
"I just accepted the roll to being the King of Embarrassing!"
"(Don't laugh!) Spike, sorry to burst your bubble, but that's a fitting title for you."
"Not funny sarcasm queen!"
Then Twilight blushed, and left. "(He sure is the King of Embarrassing alright, he just embarrassed me!)"
"Oh, suck it Twilight!"
"Hey, don't say such a mean thing about Twilight!" Pinkie snapped.
"Oh? Did Trixie strike a nerve? Well shut-up! You're only here to give Trixie letters, and that's all!"
"You want letters, oh I'll give you letters..." Then she got-up from her chair.
"Pinkie, no!" Cloudy tried.
Then Pinkie fired all the letters at Trixie with her party cannon, knocking Trixie out!
"Uh...somepony get the 1st aid kit! Don't worry reader, I'll be hosting for a while until Trixie wakes-up, Pinkie, go outside and cool down, Maud, give me the next letter."
Meanwhile...
"Come-on, you gotta try harder Panzer!"
"Okay, just give me one last Smash Ball, I think I'm close to mastering the Land Master Final Smash!"
Author's Note
Umm...please, I don't want to do a 3rd R63 in a row!
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Pony Alcatraz, a prison on an island, and 2 certain ponies are there waiting for their escape.
"Hello you 2, ready for your death sentences?" Asked the warden.
"Fuck off!" Black Kirin retorted.
"Yeah, you suck warden!" Fatboi added.
"I'm gonna miss those smart ass mouths of yourses."
Then everything blacked out right after the warden opened the door.
"What in the?" *WHAM!!!* Then the warden fell over. *grooooan!*
*THUD!*
"Hey guys!"
"Pinkamena?"
"No, I'm Surprise, the beta G4 Pinkie. Now come with me, I'm gonna get you 2 outta here!"
"How?"
"Boi are you an idiot! Didn't you hear me? I'm the Beta G4 Pinkie! I can do what I want, and now watch as I change this background into somewhere in Eastern area of Ponyville!"
"...Okay, thanks Surprise!" Then they both ran off!
"Okay Fatboi, you remember what we're suppose to do right?"
"Yeah, Trahzo wrote all the instructions in this paper I managed to smuggle into the prison. Step one, us, Blood Brandy, Panzer & Pinkamena are to meet-up at Ponyville, 40 paces southeast of Sweet Apple Acres next to a scarecrow wearing an NBA jersey!"
"..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................wow, that is very specific!" Black Kirin commented. "Also, why do you have the instructions?"
"Because me & Trahzo are both swordsmen, and it's that bond of warriors that made him give me these!
"Can't argue with that logic."
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Surprise?"
"Did somepony call my name?"
"Ooh, it's my beta!" Pinkie squealed in delight.
"Well, if you're suppose to be my daughter before well... my daughter, than okay! Begin the story!"
"Alright everypony, the moment you've all been waiting for...please give it up for the Wonderbolts!" The announcer well...announced. Oh, I just used the same joke twice bitches!
"Yeah! You go Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy cheered on! "Isn't this exciting Spike?"
"Heck yeah, I'm so glad I finally got my wings, otherwise, I'd miss such a great show!" Then he looked over to a big chair. "I just wish Twilight could watch along side us!"
"Aww, cheer-up Spike, at least we're all still here, just in separate ways." Fluttershy reassured.
"Guys, shh, the show's starting!" Said a white pegasus with a blonde mane.
"H-hey! You're Surprise, why are you here? Shouldn't you be getting ready for your show?"
"Nah, I was given some time off today."
"Is that so?" Spike said. "(Wow, I hadn't realized till now, but she looks like...Pinkie Pie, wow.)"
Then the Wonderbolts came out and gave the audience a spectacular show with Mario Kart 8's version of the Rainbow Road theme song playing in the background!
"Now, for the final event! Stamp those hooves if you're ready for it!"
Then everyone began stamping their hooves! The seats all roared at the upcoming finale!
"Alright, guess everypony's bodies are Reggie! Skyra, release the Flying Megalodon!"
You read it right, you may have heard of flying fish, and the Megalodon, but what would happen if the Megalodon was capable of flight?
"Now this seems dangerous! I'm shivering with fear!"
"Don't worry Spike, it's a trained shark!"
"Okay, hey wait a minute? How'd you know my name was Spike?"
"Who do I look like?"
"I see your point, but in any case, Surprise, can I sit next to you just in case."
"Why not, come here you cutie!" Then Surprise grabbed Spike and began cuddling him. That's when...
*Flash!*
"Ah ah ah! What a magnificent creature to behold! We certainly don't want anyone to let it free do we?"
Then the audience all started getting confused.
"Oh that's right, I have not introduced myself, I am...Dimentio, and I shall make this show even more spectacular with magic!" Then Dimentio raised his hands into the air and cut all the chains holding down the flying Megalodon! "Ha ha ha! You will all become this goliath's sea food! Ciao!"
*Flash!*
"Aah!" Everyone started screaming and scrambling!
The Flying Megalodon began pursuing everyone at random until it spotted Spike & Surprise!
"Oh crap!" Spike squeaked.
"Quick, get on my back!"
"But I can..."
"You're obviously new at flying, so no back talk now, and get on!"
Spike agreed, and the chase began! Spike gave Surprise a bit more speed by flapping his own wings at the same time as her's.
"It's gaining on us!"
"Don't sweat it, we're almost at my house."
"What do you have at your house?"
"You'll see!"
Soon they made it to Surprise's home, and quickly exited as they entered, but with a large flying battleship!
"Wow...you're just as random as her!"
"Of course, I could easily replace her as the new Element of Laughter! Now let's make some fish sticks!"
Then Surprise fired her Gatling confetti cannons! It wasn't enough, the Megalodon ripped their battleship to shreds and they fell and landed on a cloud.
"Well, Surprise, any last words?"
"I never had my 1st kiss!"
"Me too."
Then they looked at eachother with an idea
"You wanna do the kiss of death?" Surprise suggested.
"Why not?"
So as the Flying terror charged closer and closer, they pressed their lips together, and held it that way until the Megalodon came to end their lives.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!"
Then the Megalodon stopped on a hard dime because of the scary look of Fluttershy's *Stare!*. Spike & Surprise released and opened their eyes to see their savior.
"Mister, you got a-lot of nerve! Come with me, we're gonna talk about your living conditions, and I'll have a little chat with your trainer!" Fluttershy scolded.
Then the Megalodon agreed with a sad face and came with Fluttershy.
"Well, guess that sorted itself out I guess."
"I saw it coming actually."
"Yeah right Surprise, you may be just like Pinkie, but even she couldn't have..."
"Spike, oh thank goodness you're sa..." Then Surprise's tail twitched causing a flowerpot to hit Twilight and knock her out!
"I renounce my previous statement!"
"Good, now come here, let's kiss again!"
"(I'm making out with a celebrity! I'm such a lucky dragon!)"
Then Surprise fell over on her back, and Spike landed on her belly.
"After this, I'm gonna throw..."
"A party?"
"Hmph, you look so cute seeing how you're finally catching on!"
"That was one...interesting story (Sorry, but I don't wanna say weird, I don't wanna hurt Pinkie's feelings.)" Igneous explained.
" *Groaaan!* What happened?" Trixie wondered.
"You missed the 5th ship!"
"Well, now that you're all better...Pinkie Pie?"
"Fine, I'm sorry!" Then Pinkie held out her hoof.
"I'm sorry too, it's just that at times, rivals tend to make fun of each other."
"Well, now that, that's taken care of, send the next letter!"
Meanwhile...
"Shogun Deezutra! A message from your nephew Captain Veetrix!"
Then Deezutra read the letter, and like that, sped towards the train station!
"(You're going down this time Trahzo!)"
Meanwhile...
Panzer was finished with his training with McCloud. As he ran through the forest, keeping out of the guards' searchlights, he bumped into another familiar face!
"C-c-c-c-captain Falcon?"
"Yes! Now show me your moves because I'm gonna teach you the Falcon Punch!"
Author's Note
You may not have realized it yet, but a-lot of Nintendo references will be in this story.
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.5: Getting Sassed in a Flash.
Panzer and Captain Falcon trained for hours until Panzer finally learned the Falcon Kick! That's when the guards showed-up to try and stop him! He had tazers pointed at him! That's when him and Captain Falcon teamed-up and started mowing them down, Panzer had finally successfully learned the Falcon Punch but was hit by 3 tazers!
*Zap!*
"Gwaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!"
But like a tank, he had the endurance to take it! Then Captain Falcon crushed a Smash Ball and took the last remaining guards out with his Blue Falcon Final Smash! After that, he ran to Panzerbrony to see if he was fine.
"Don't worry, I'm fine."
"Good, now take these with you!"
"Gloves? Why?"
"Do you want your hooves to burn?"
"No sir!"
"Good, now put those on. You are an Earth pony, the physically strongest of the core trio! Now go, they're waiting!"
Then Panzer ran off to meet-up with the others, once he was out of hearing range...
"Panzer, you and your friends will encounter the powerful fighters of the Smash Bros. Franchise this night! They will teach all of you great techniques, so be careful for these will be vital for your plan to stop the royal army from recapturing Trahzo!"
As Panzer was heading to the rendezvous point, he was able to meet-up with Black Kirin as he was exiting Sugarcube Corner.
Meanwhile in Dead Hooves prison.
"Psst!"
"Oh great, now I'm hearing things!"
"No you're not, it's me Surprise, I've come to get you outta here Blood Brandy!"
"...And how do you..."
Then with a clap of her hooves, they ended-up somewhere West of Ponyville.
"Well, guess I shouldn't doubt cartoon logic."
"Good, now you better get moving, you don't want to be late!"
"Okay!" Then like that, he was off!
Meanwhile on a train bound for the village that I was hiding in...
"Come-on out! Charizard, Typhlosion, Blaziken, Infernape, Emboar, and Delphox!"
*Pop!* x6
Alright, I know it's been a while since I last used you guys in a fight, but I want you guys to help me out in this one! What do you say, will you assist me?" Then they all blasted fire at him! "Good!"
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Sassaflash/Emerald Gleam...wait, isn't she Caramel/Chance-a-lot's girlfriend?" Trixie asked.
"Yes, but it seems there's a loophole to Trahzo's policy on cheating ships, they are girlfriend and boyfriend, not husband & wife." Igneous explained.
"Ah, I see, well I guess we can just begin the story now."
"Fuck you!"
"Oh come-on babe, she meant nothing to me!" Exclaimed Caramel.
"Yeah, that's what all the stallions say when they're caught cheating! You are no exception you shitty flank hole!"
"Hey, comeback, please, you know you can't survive without me!"
"I'll show you, next time, I'll be dating a prince!"
"Hahahahaha, just try your luck, but when it doesn't work out, you can come back, and when you do, I'll give you a large heaping bowl of I told yah so, for all 3 meals and snacks!"
Then Sassaflash did the pony equivalent to flipping someone off! Sassaflash had just moved into an apartment, and got all of her stuff out of her Ex-boyfriend's house, and he still has doubts that she will be dating a prince. Though, Sassaflash would show him! The next day she went down the market place ready for her job. She was in the middle of work till Spike came along.
"Hey, can I hide here?"
"Sure thing Spike, get under there!"
Then the CMC ran by.
"Spike, where are you? We still need to capture you for our dragon hunter cutiemark!" Sweeite Belle called out.
"Hey girls, he went that way!"
"Thanks ma'am!" Then they ran off again.
Spike got out from under the tent.
"Thanks Sassaflash, you really saved me there!"
"No prob, but now you must do something for me seeing that I have just saved your life!"
"Saved my life?"
"If those girls actually became dragon hunters, it would put an end to dragonkind itself! you owe me!"
"You're right, if they became dragon hunters...oi vey! that would be very scary! So, what is it that you want my heroine?"
"(Checkmate Caramel, and also, oh how life is so unfair because he's one of your bros before hoes!)" Sassaflash thought with an evil smile. "I want you to be my new boyfriend."
"What? I can't do that to Caramel, he's one of my pals before gals!"
"Don't care, I think you're wonderful, unlike that cheating Caramel! I regret going back to him when your friends' cutiemarks were swapped!" Then she pulled him in with her wings. "Anyways, you're still in debt to me, you gotta be my boyfriend now! So yeah, go and abandon your bro morals, I'll be the only one not to judge you!"
"O-okay, if you're not gonna judge me, consider us a couple!"
"Good, and you know what couples do?"
"Only in romance novels."
"Right, they ki..."
*Ding!* *Ding!* The bell rang.
"Excuse me lady, but could you please continue the conversation with your boyfriend later? Us Nintendo fans have been waiting for you for..." Then he looked at the girl behind him's watch. " 8 minutes and 38 seconds, can you let us buy the Nintendo Fruits 1st, than go back to what you were doing previously?"
Then Sassaflash looked at the long line she was holding-up, then blushed.
"Stay here Spike, don't worry Princess Twilight will understand if I explain what you've been doing all day."
"Okay."
So the day went on, Sassaflash sold many many Nintendo Fruits, such as Starf Berries, The Pokemon Tropius don't freak out, they will not eat Tropius, they'll eat the fruit that grows from it's chin! Dash Peppers, Sunseed Berries, and Miracle Fruits.
"And here you go, 12 Stamina Fruits, have a nice day."
"Well, I wish the opposite to you, yah unprofessional ass!" The Nintendo fan replied.
"(Dang, Nintendo nerds are sure a wide array of people.) Spike?"
Spike was sleeping.
"Aww, that's cute!" Then she woke him up. "Hey Spike, the Nintendo fans are all gone, we can finally go back to where we left off."
"Y-you were going to tell me what couples do. I assume you were going to say kiss, but that's only as soon as we hit 1st base, and we only started, we don't have to kiss now, we can just test this out."
'Spike, the loophole of that is..." Then she kissed him on the forehead like princess Peach does to Mario. "...that 1st basers kiss on the lips!" Then a smile appeared on her face. "Also, it seems about time for a break."
"W...what is it that you're getting at?"
Then Sassaflash pounced Spike, then the sounds of kissing could be heard, as Sassaflash put-up a on break sign on the counter. A little while after, they both got-up and Spike had lipstick all over his face, and for some really odd reason even I the narrator cannot explain, his ass!
"Wow, what an exploitable loophole." Spike said.
"Yep."
"Uh..."
"Oh, Caramel, hello."
"C-Caramel! Look, I'm really so..."
"Don't say anymore Spike. Wow Sassaflash, to think you were right, you're dating a prince. Spike, my bro before hoe, please take good care of this good mare!" Then he held out his hoof.
Spike smiled, then..."You know I will!"
Then they bro-hoofed then all 3 laughed the day away, and all shared some Juna Fruits.
"All that talk about fruit makes Trixie snackish!" Trixie commented.
"Oh, I recently bought some Perfect Pears, Double Cherries, and Apricorns." Limestone told Trixie.
"Ooh, Trixie will be back to get the next letter right after a short snack break!"
Meanwhile...
All 4 have made it to rendezvous point.
"So Fatboi what's the next step?" asked Blood Brandy.
"We gotta wait for Pinkamena 1st."
"Did somepony say my name?"
"Good we're all here." Black Kirin commented. "Now what's next?"
"Well it says here that a hologram of Wild Flower, who used to be known as Kabuto901, then Broken Kabuto901 to appear on top of the scarecrow which should appear riiiiiight aboooout now!"
"Hey there everypony, as your 1st objective for the night, destroy Spikerules302-a-tron 100,000!"
"But I thought Hunter Silva killed him!" replied Panzer.
"But in the end of Spike's Loyal Pet, the story featuring the 80th Spike ship, Shogun Deezutra had Spikerules302's body be reconstructed into a cyborg! Now it is up to you 5 to take him out once and for all! Dismissed!" Then the hologram vanished!
"Alright, guess we have a..." Then Pinkamena was cut-off.
"Oh, I forgot one more thing, Fatboi, your sword is inside the scarecrow, good luck!" Then Wild Flower,s hologram disappeared again.
Then Fatboi took the sword out of the Scarecrow and wielded it bravely like a great hero & warrior! As the item aquired theme from Super Metroid played in the background!
Author's Note
Here's an interesting fact, Caramel is actually a neighbor to Sugarcube Corner. Just so you know, Sassaflash was the pony who played Admiral Fairy Flight in Testing testing 1,2,3. My god, how did Caramel fall in love with a mare with that kind of voice? She also appeared as Cleopatra in Luna Eclipsed. Also, she was in the Wonderbolts Academy as one of the students. Oh, oh, oh, here's something else about her, she traded a pineapple for Amethyst Star's potato in Trade Yah!
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Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.6: Sunset's Friends Episode 1: Rocking Out!
All 5 where headed for the next train to where the Pie Family is until a ball of electricity flew by!
"What?" Then they looked to their left.
"Hey, I'm Ash Ketchum, and my Partner Pikachu here wants to teach you Black Kirin the Volt Tackle Final Smash.
Meanwhile...
"Ugh...how long is this damn train?!" Veetrix complained.
"Sorry sir, but it seems Deezutra's train will be there 1st and will be waiting for us as soon as he gets off at the train station." Said Spikerules302.
" *sigh!* "
Meanwhile in a prison in Las Pegasus.
"Yes! Be free the other guys who subscribed to Trahzo! Now come with me, we gotta take a train to the master!" Surprise told them!
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Lyrock? Isn't she an Equestria Girls Teen?"
"Yep, but hey, fans ponified her!"
"Why not? BEGIN!"
Sunset Shimmer returned but with her own mane 6 She called the Shimmer 6, which includes Lyrock, Flower Child, Watermelody, Sweet Leaf, and Mystery Mint! She found Twilight and her friends eating a picnic outside in the happiest looking fields.
"Hello Twilight Sparkle!"
"Sunset Shimmer? Welcome back to..." Then a magic hand slapped the bitch! "Ow, what was that for?"
"I may have learned my lesson, but I still intend...TO KICK YOUR ASS!!!" Then a 6-on-6 fight broke out and just for scripted bullshit, Sunset's gang won! "Yeah, eat it bitch! Also..." Then she looked at Spike. "...We'll be taking your little dragon!"
"Whoa! No! Twilight! Girls, get-up, please!" Spike said while trying to struggle out of the magic aura he was captured in.
"Here you go Lyrock, you get to have him!"
"Sweet, 'Ello dere little baby, vould you like to be a big boy and go on your 'irst date 'ith me?" Yeah, I imagine Lyrock sounding like one of those England Punk Rock girls!
Spike was really scared, sure he doesn't mind Tomboys, but...he thinks punk rock girls are nasty.
"So...what's the cute gentleman's name?"
"Sp-spike?"
" 'Ello Spike, am Lyrock! I'm the most punk rockenest mare you'll ever meet." Then she began cuddling the terrified kid.
"(No, stop touching me!)" Then the others began giggling.
"Hmph, it hasn't been 5 minutes and already Lyrock is flirting with some cute guy, typical. Girl, he's too young!"
Then Lyrock stuck her tongue out at Sunset.
"Come on, let's go 'ittle one, the concert for battle of the Bands begins in a few minutes!"
Spike didn't want to go with Lyrock, and by the looks of it, he might have to kiss her, and well in my opinion, even though I think Gothic chicks and Punk Rock chicks dress cool, I'd rather not have one as my girlfriend, and Spike is thinking the same thing. He tried to struggle out, but she was too strong.
"(Oh crap, I wish for freedom right now please!)"
Later...
"Hello out there music fans, welcome to the battle of the bands competition! Cheer for your favorite band and we'll tally your sound somehow! Now time for the 1st band!"
So the competition began, featuring bands such as Runaway Five, Ultimate Band, and Lego Rock Band! Boy, was the mood great because Spike was enjoying himself, he forgot he was kidnapped. He looked at Lyrock with a powerful feeling, poor Stockholm Syndrome boy. He then put his hand nervously around Lyrock. Lyrock felt his touch and tingled. She then grabbed Spike and began kissing him! Sure he was feeling disgusted, but he would soon learn to love it! Then Lyra came to the stand.
"Uh, excuse me miss, but what are you doing?" The announcer asked.
"Oh, I just want to say to everypony here that..." Then she gave Lyrock the stink eye! "...That mare in the audience is ripping off my name, and she will die!" Then Lyra jumped into the crowd.
"Whaaaaaaaaaa?'
*Pow!* *Pow* *Pow!*
"Hahahahaha, that ending was funny, give Trixie the next letter."
Meanwhile...
"Great job Black Kirin, you've learned how to use Volt Tackle! Now go, the train should be arriving by now!"
Then they go onto the next train to the Train station Veetrix's troop was stationed at.
Meanwhile...
"Finally, we can go..." Then Veetrix was cutoff!
"Sir, another train is headed here, sorry!"
"CRAP!"
"I wont take this bullshit, I'm gonna track down that train and bring it here! Then Spikerules302-a-tron 100,000 flew off.
Later...
"Multiple enemy threats detected, *Gasp!* "
*Flashback!*
"I'll defeat you and your little cards toooooooooooooooo!"
*Flashback over!*
"I'll freaking kill you Panzer!" Then he rocketed at the train!
*Crash!*
"It's that cyborg!" Pinkamena blurted.
"Wait, the next step says that we must defeat him with double Final Smashes!" Fatboi told them!
"Right!" They all agreed.
Author's Note
Runaway Five: Earthbound.
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Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.6.5: Train Battle, Spikerules302's Revenge!
"Let's blow the roof off of this place! Hyper Pulse!"
Then the train cart's roof and wall were blown away! Then as debris began falling, a certain unlucky guy landed on the train cart.
"Luigi?"
"Yesa, that's a me, and also, may I borrow Black a Kirin for a while?"
"But we need to do double final smashes in order to defeat that robot!" Replied Blood Brandy.
"Don'ta worry, he'll be-a back, it's gonna be a fasta tutoring!" Then he took Black Kirin to another cart.
"Aw-man, guess we'll be doing this without another final smasher." Fatboi said with worry.
"Don't worry your pretty little heads, I already know a technique and a Final Smash!" Pinkamena explained.
"I'll take your word for it, now let's do this!" Panzer said.
Meanwhile...
"No, no, no! In order to perfect the Super Jump Punch, you a gotta do a jump that's like an instantaneous pop!"
Now back to the fight. Fatboi ran in with his sword, but was countered by a boxing glove on a spring popping out of Spikerules302's chest! Then Pinkamena used her technique.
"PK Thunder!"
Then he used a lightning rod to absorb the PK Thunder!
"Here I come!"
He came charging at Panzer, but then Panzer countered with the...
"FALCON PUNCH!"
Then he was sent flying, then crashing into the next cart!
"Now's our chance Panzer!"
"You got it Pinkie!"
Then they both crushed a Smash Ball! Pinkie did the Mario Finale, and Panzer did...
"LAND MASTER!"
Then they fired the shit out of the train cart Spikerules302 was in! Soon, the Land Master dissolved, and Black Kirin was all done with his training.
"Aw crap, I missed it! You know, I was really itching on using my weapons, but then your plans all get ruined by a sideki..." Then a pillar of energy shot out from the top of the cart! Then an animatronic sound said...
"Initializing back-up adaption energy!" Then fired an energy field capturing and suspending Pinkamena in the air!
"Pinkie!" Panzer cried.
"Ready for round 2?" Then he flew right at them with aid by 5 jet boosters!
"I got this one!" Then Black Kirin used the Super Jump Punch which echoed through out the night with a really loud ping! "Hey, I got a gold coin!"
Then Spikerules302's left hand turned into a Plasma Cannon, then fired a shot! Then Fatboi blocked with his sword, then absorbed the energy and sent it back with a slash blast!
*Boom!*
Then Blood Brandy drop kicked him!
"Enough, these attacks are nothing!"
Then missiles started shooting out of Spikerules302's mouth and into the air!
"You're in for it now, because I'm gonna blow this whole train to smithereens to end it!"
"This battle will end by our will!" Then Panzer and Black Kirin crushed their Smash Balls. Black Kirin then entered the Land Master's cannon, and then the Land Master fired, and hit Spikerules302-a-tron 100,000, blowing him up!
*Boom!*
Then the head landed on the cart! Then with what ever last energy he had left...
"Everything and everyone will one day will be destroyed, but will also eventually bring reconstruction! So mark my words, I will return!" Then he powered down. Then Pinkamena was freed from the force field. Then the missiles stopped immediately and just began falling.
"Blah, blah, blah with that one! Alright guys, take these firearms, they're obviously going to have a large military force to stop us, but their only gunman is Captain Veetrix!" Black Kirin told them!
"Oh, hold-on let me take out the steps.......ah-ha, next step, make sure Panzer fights Veetrix!"
"Alright, we'll just gang-u..." Then Blood Brandy was cut-off.
"Alone!"
"Oh..."
Then they all just sat and waited on whatever remained of the seats. Then Toon Link woke-up.
"I just wanna thank you all for choosing my train for all of your traveling nee...MY TRAIN! What happened!?" Then Toon Link began crying.
Meanwhile...
*Knock!* *Knock!*
"I'll get it!" Said Cloudy.
Then she opened the door.
"Who are you?"
"Hello Ma'am, I'm Fancy Pants, I believe Trahzo has something for me."
"Oh yeah that's right!" Then she closed the door on him, then came right back. "Here you go!"
"Thank you, good bye." Then Fancy Pants left. "(Yes, now I have all I need to bring you back, my dear Fleur!)"
"Trixie is wondering what';s taking you so long to bring her the next letter!"
"Shut-up, it's coming!" Maud replied.
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
"Next is...Macareiner, the R63 Big Mac, well that sorta makes sense since these 2 were the 1st 2 male characters, then one day people started doing yaoi ships, but anyway, Trixie thinks the only other story who has done this ship between Spike & the R63 Big Mac was Spike's Gals by Spikerules302. Anyways, let's begin the story!"
Spike had just made it to Sweet Apple Acres to help out with the new farm animals!
"I'm here guys, don't worry!"
"Howdy Spike, so glad you could make it!" Said Applejack. "Could you help Macareiner with the Sleepy Sheep? They keep-on jumping around, which is very dangerous, because they might touch somepony and cause them to fall asleep, and I already am having problems trying to make Emboar and Grumpig not fight!"
"Will do A.J. you can always count on..." Then he slammed into a Moo Moo. "...Me!"
Then as the Moo Moo fell over..."Granny, a bandage for Applebloom! *Slam!*
"....Oh-no, I'm so sorry Applebloom...wait a minute...yes! With the leader out of commission, I don't have to worry about the CMC for a while! Yes!" Then Spike victoriously ran off. "Freedom!"
The Farm had a big variety of animals, and wow where they much more fun than the regular everyday versions! There were Cluckbooms, Mareeps, Moinks, oh my! Blazikens, Cuccoos, and they even have a bunch of Gogoats to! If you think having these many animals is impossible well you can take it up with the Moblins! Soon, Spike made it to Macareiner, the farm's big beauty. Spike then greeted her.
"Hey Mac!"
"Spike, I told you, it's Maca, if you cal me Mac, it's as if you're calling me a boy."
"Sorry, buddy, let's just get to work."
"Good, go pick-up that rope, and gloves, if you touch a sleepy sheep bare, they'll make you fall asleep."
"Yes Ma'am!"
Then Spike managed to get the jumping Sleepy Sheep tied down. Then Macareiner pulled out the sheers and sheered the sheep.
"Phew, finally, thank goodness you came to help us Spike."
"You're welcome, but why did you guys buy so many of these creatures?"
"..."
"Fluttershy asked you to buy them with money she left so when she comes back from vacation tomorrow, she can collect them, right?"
"Eeyup."
"Of course."
"Well, wanna help me with mah other chores?"
"Sure!"
So they spent the day doing a big list of chores, they enjoyed each other's company a whole lot, it was as if they were made for each other, and were almost finished, they had just one more chore to do, and it was in the barn. Spike and Macareina had just opened the door and that's when they saw it! Rarihick and A.J. making out on a pile of hay! Macariener saw that Spike was shocked and decided to chew out them both.
"Applejack! I thought we agreed that kissing was forbidden in the barn! Also Rarity, remove that offensive get-up! Do what I told you 2 now, or I'll be forced to use violence!"
"Let's go babe, Macareiner gets scary when she gets this way!" Then they ran out, and Rarihick's clothing flew off.
Then she put a hoof on Spike's shoulder.
"You feeling fine boy?"
"No...I just lost my only chance at romance."
"Spike, if it means anything..." Then she lifted his chin-up. "...what we've been through today, has proven that you aint no boy to me, you're a big strong man!" Then she rubbed her nose against his. "And don't you forget it!"
"Are you sure?"
"Fuck eeyup, you assisted me in chores that a creature with your non-muscles couldn't do."
"Gee, thanks!"
Then they began laughing.
"Sugar, come here & gimme a hug, I'd actually want you as mah bo."
"R-really?"
"Yeah, I think you're great! If I was a boy, we'd be close like brothers!"
"That's cool...but since we're different genders, we can be together." Then he hugged her!
So Spike and Macareiner held each other close and lied on a hay bail. She then puckered her lips.
"H-hey, I thought kissing wasn't allowed in here."
"I'm the one who made that rule, so I can break it whenever I want."
"You crooked cop." Then they kissed.
"Who here actually wants to date Big Mac?"
Then no one said I.
"Yeah, he maybe handsome, but he isn't a conversationalist! Get Trixie the next letter!"
Meanwhile...
"You're all kicked out of my train, better have fun walking the rest of the way to Canterlot! That's what you get for destroying my Train, furthermore..."
"No wonder Link never speaks." Commented Blood Brandy.
"Guys, a side step says that we have to tie-up Toon Link and hijack his train if he starts lecturing, and used the enclosed rolls of duct tape!" Said Fatboi.
"Trahzo sure thought of everything, let's get him!"
Then they ambushed Toon Link, tied him up with the tape, and left him there in the middle of nowhere!
"Next stop, Canterlot! Full steam ahead!" Commanded Black Kirin.
Then Toon Link struggled to free one of his arms because they at least had the kindness to leave his equipment with him, and the Master Sword was just a few inches away from him.
Author's Note
Sleepy Sheep: Paper Mario
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Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.8:Sunset's Friends Episode 2: A Leafy Sweetie.
Then the train finally arrived, and all 5 were locked and loaded!
"Everypony, take cover!" Veetrix commanded
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BAN BAN AKAZA BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!*
About 40% of the guards were too slow to raise their shields or shield spells and were killed from the onslaught! Then the unicorn guards and guards with cannons, and bows launched a counter strike!
"Guys, we need Veetrix to fight Panzer alone!" Fatboi reminded them.
"Hey, I was just wondering...what about Toon Link's Train?"
"Just leave it to be destroyed, we can catch a ride on the next train!" Replied Pinkamena.
"Oh right."
Meanwhile, Link finally managed to get himself free!
"Those jerks are going to get it!" Then he used the whistle to summon his trusty steed Epona!
"MASTER LINK!" Then she pounced him! "Oh Master Link, now that we can talk, I can fnally tell you I love you!" Then she began giving him sloppy kisses on the cheek.
"I love you too girl, but come-on knock it off, we got thieves to chase down!"
"Okay, but a little more!"
"Ah, hey come-on that tickles, and you're getting my head-and-neck area all wet!"
Soon Epona backed off, but Toon Link was all washed off, but then they were off!
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Sweet Leaf, another EQG Teen."
"Isn't she the one with the sunhat and hair as green as leaves?"
"Also, according to the wikia, no not wikipedia, that she's known as unnamed girl #9."
"Weird, but anyway, begin the story!"
Spike and Sweet Leaf have just left the hospital.
"Poor Lyrock." said Spike.
"I know, it's not her fault that she had no idea who Lyra was."
"Totally, but at least she went to jail for assault!"
"Yep, but now you'll be with me today!"
"Yay! So what are we going to do?"
"We're going to a save the flowers rally!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, that horrid Filthy Rich wants to bulldoze an entire 78 acres of flowers for one small building, and one that isn't even necessary!"
"What would that be?"
"A cigarette factory!"
"What? How dare he? He's going down! Seriously, doesn't he know how many ponies die from smoking?"
"Yeah, but apparently when he made this announcement, I heard him whisper everypony in this town are morons!"
" *GASP!* We'll show him who's the moron!"
"Yeah Spike, let's go!"
So they made picket signs, got a-lot of hippies and others to assist them, and were off! They had just made it in time to stop the bulldozers.
"What in tarnation is going on here?!" Filthy Rich complained.
"Sorry boss, but these guys refuse to budge!" Said the stallion manning the middle Bulldozer.
It certainly was a huge group of people who were against his decision. Those included Gym Leaders Erika, Gardenia, Cilan, and Ramos.
"(Oh-no, celebrities are in there, but I refuse! I WANT MONEY!) Run 'em over you idiots!"
"Bu.."
"Do it, and I'll give 3 billion bits!"
"Right away sir! Let's do it stallions...and one mare!"
Then they began going at maximum speed, chasing everyone! But luckily the Gym Leaders brought their Pokemon with them!
"The one who gets the mare with the dragon will be payed double!"
Then they all stopped and then turned their attention towards Sweet Leaf and Spike.
"No, this is not good!"
"Spike, if it means anything, I actually think you're the cutest guy I've ever met!"
"Thanks."
"Yeah, just thought I say that before I die!"
"Well Sweet Leaf, I think you're as beautiful as nature itself!"
"Aww thank you!"
They ran and ran until they made it to a cliff!
"Well, guess this is where it ends I guess!"
"Yep...thanks for spending the day with me cutie."
Just then, the cliff collapsed, dropping everyone into the ocean, but that's when Spike and Sweet Leaf were caught by 2 Vine Whips, and were safely dropped back on the flowery field. Then Sweet Leaf began to tear-up.
"The fields are ruined." She said, while feeling down trodden.
"Don't feel bad about it Sweet Leaf, we can always grow it all back!" Then he gave her a hug to comfort her.
"You're right Spike." Then they looked into each other's eyes, then kissed.
"Hey!" Shouted a familiar voice!
"Fluttershy?"
"Don't you dare rip off my flower loving and Kindness, luckily I had Dr.Whooves bring my previous lives here to kick your ass as well!"
Then Gen 1's Posey, and Gen 3's Wysteria appeared, and all 3 jumped at Sweet Leaf who got real frightened!
"Are all of Sunset's friends getting an ass kicked ending?"
"Well, according to this letter from the author...yes, all 5 of her friends are going to get their asses kicked!" Pinkie answered.
"Huh, okay then, get Trixie the next letter."
"..."
"Didn't you hear Trixie? Trixie said get Trixie the next letter!"
"Oh, I heard yah, but what I did not hear, was please!" Replied Maud.
"Please give me the next damn letter you silent fuck face!"
"hey, don't you dare say anything mean to Maud!" Then Pinkie got really mad and knocked Trixie out again! This time with a party grenade she got from Cheese Sandwich.
"Well, guess that's my que to be the host while she's knocked out. Pinkie, give daddy the next letter."
"Okay daddy!"
Meanwhile...
Veetrix and Panzer shot at each other, while running across the city! Bullets echoing in the air...
"Grapple barrel! Get over here!" Then he got Panzer, then punched him real hard, sending him flying a few feet! "Give-up, you may have defeated me last tine, but I will not back down again! I am Equestria's Best Shot!"
"You...can go take that title, and shove it in your dick hole!" He replied.
"This is where you die Panzer, and I will show no mercy!"
"I think you got it all reversed! So you're the new captain of Celestia's Royal Guard, I don't give any fucks!"
Then a beat began playing, and their weapons turned to microphones!
"Wh-what's this?"
Then Vinyl arrived with her entourage. "Boys, this is an Epic...Rap...Batlle!" She answered.
Author's Note
Can you spot the Ban Ban Akaza in the multiple Bangs?
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Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch. 8.5: Epic Mlp Oc Rap Battle! Panzerbrony vs. Veetrix Desmurta!
"EPIC OC MLP RAP BATTLE! PANZERBRONY VS. VEETRIX DESMURTA! Begin!"
Veetrix:
"Outta my way Trahzo's whore
Panzer:
"Good try on your 1st move, but please dude.
Veetrix:
"You're gonna die here, then I'm going after your pink friend!
Then an aura started generating from his body.
"This victory is gonna be a breeze!
Then the aura blasted right at Panzer, sending him flying a few inches!
Panzer:
"Pinkamena is going to be fine, so just shut-up!
Then a much stronger aura generated from Panzer!
"What the..."
"If there's one more thing I'd have to say.
Then the attack sent Veetrix flying through 45 buildings!
"Ooh, I don't think Captain Veetrix will be standing-up after this!" Commented Vinyl.
"I won, whoa! But no time for celebration yet, I gotta stop the Shogun!" And like that, he ran back to meet-up with his friends.
As he rushed back to his friends, he didn't notice a Luna watching him from afar!
"(That's it, lead me to my horrid replacement!)" She thought vengefully. "Trixie Lulamoon, I'll show you who's moon is the best in Equestria by the end of this night!" She yelled to the sky.
"Luna, how many times must I tell you to stop showing your "moon" to ponies?" Said Celestia.
"No, I didn't mean my flank sister, I just meant..."
"I don't care, just don't disturb my slumber party with my son!"
" 'kay, I was just going anyway! Goodnight, and I hope Spike takes you up on your offer for next in line."
"Good luck on making Trixie look at your moon!"
Then like that, with an unamused face, Luna flew off in the night to find Trixie!"
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Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.9: Ponytron...Yeah, I couldn't think of Anything Clever for this Chapter Title!
"Next is...who's Ponytron?" Asked Igneous
"She's a fusion of me and my friends, here's a link of to picture of what she looks like." said Pinkie https://derpicdn.net/img/2012/12/27/194116/large.png
"Holy crap that's scary! Begin the story now, I'll be in the bathroom, throwing up!"
Twilight's greatest creation yet! Yeah right, she just wanted to give Spike a playmate since she and the others will be gone for a month, settling something in Saddle Arabia! So, why not create something in the science lab just for him? A creature who'll love him, a creature who'll always be by his side, a creature that she knows Spike will love, and love Spike back. So, she decided to create a clone, that is a fusion of her, and her best friends! So, when the day came for their month long departure...
"Bon Voyage on your trip!"
"Did somepony call me?" Asked the actual Bon Voyage, the Pegasus version of Bon Bon, no not kidding, that's the name of the Pegasus version of Bon Bon from Hurricane Fluttershy.
"No!"
"Okay, Let's go Skyra." If you watched the Sonic Rainboom Episode, then you'd notice a pegasus version of Lyra, and that was Skyra, well that's her name according to the wikia.
"Spike."
"Yes Twilight?"
"I don't want you to be all alone in the castle."
"Twilight, I don't need a babysitter, besides, I can always talk to the guards, and the owl."
"Oh, I'm not hiring a babysitter, I made you a little friend in my laboratory! Oh Ponytron!" She called.
Just then, a multicolored monstrosity appeared before Spike!
"Spike, this is Ponytron, so it can be as if we're all still here!"
"(AAAAAAAAH MONSTER!) Hello there." He said nervously "(I am so fucking scared right now!)"
"Hello Spike, I always wanted to meet you! I'm so happy!" Then she tried to hug Spike, but Spike then started running, and she gave chase in circles, just like in the Episode of Kirby Right Back At Yah: Pet Peeve, when the robot dog chased Kirby around. Soon, Ponytron caught Spike and hugged him in mid air.
"Aaaaaaaw, what that's so precious."
"Twilight, help!"
"I'll see you in a month!" Then Twilight kissed Spike on the head, and left to go meet-up with her friends.
"We're going to have loads of fun!" She said with sparkling eyes.
So Spike managed to get himself free, then ran like hell!
"Ooh, are we playing tag? Well, here I come Spike! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Then she went after Spike.
In just seconds, she was flying next to Spike.
"(Oh Celestia no, she's caught-up with me! Guess she's got Rainbow's speed.)" Then Spike started booking it with everything he's got, then Spike looked to his left. "(Fucking Crap! She's still next to me!)" Then Spike tripped, and Ponytron stopped on a dime to pick him up.
"Okay, I think tag is over seeing that you got injured."
"Injured?"
Then she pointed at the cut on Spike's knee.
"Come-on, let's go home to put a band aid on that!" Then Spike got on her back and they were flying back to the castle, but Spike didn't notice the devious face Ponytron was making
Meanwhile...
"Hey Twilight, I know that whole playmate thing was nothing but Bullshit! So tell us, what's the real reason you gave him that thing?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"Oh, so you've caught on! Okay, I was thinking that maybe I can have an heir, with that cute Flash Sentry guy, but then again, I didn't want to go through having a kid in me for 9 Months, and I might accidentally eat a strange dish with something I'm critically allergic to! So getting to the point, I've realized I already have a kid, but unfortunately no-one would want to date him! Rarity, do not lie, I know you're not into him!" Then Rarity blushed. "So I created something that will love him just because."
"So why'd you make a fusion of us? That's what I don't git!" Applejack asked
"Well you see, all 6 of us are Spike's closest friends, and with that kind of knowledge, made me think hey, why not make something that that resembles all 6 of us? I mean look at this laptop of mine, it says that we're all 100% compatible but yet we're not into him! So I took away that thought, when fusing our minds together!"
"So what you're saying is that the fused version of us is basically 600% compatible?" Said Applejack.
"Yep, she's more than perfect for Spike, and I'm proud!"
"Even so, I'm still 20% cooler! than Ponytron!" Added Rainbow Dash.
"Also, I've taught her how to rape Spike!"
"What?" All 5 gasped.
"What do you expect? I'm Molestia's Best Student! heheheh!" Then she took a drink of her coconut. "I need Spike to be in love with her, and what faster way than breaking his mind?"
Meanwhile, Spike was running around the castle trying to avoid getting captured by the guards Ponytron mind controlled into doing her bidding!
"Dammit Twilight, how come every scientist has to make a crazy monster?"
Then Owlousicous dived at him, but Spike countered with a simple bitch slap!
"Comeback Spike, I want that virginity of your's!"
"Fuck off!"
They battled it out in this chase, Spike dived, jumped, slid, doing everything in his power to escape her! Even so Spike was doing a really good job for a while...it was inevitable for Spike to be captured! Spike then entered the throne room!
"Ooh, this looks like a lovely place to make babies in!"
"Ah!"
Ponytron closed all exits shut with her magic, and levitated Spike to his throne, then used her magic to bound him down!
"No escape handsome!" Then she nuzzled him.
"Please Ponytron, don't do this!"
"Sorry Spike, but you must know that I'm the only pony who'll ever have romantic feelings for you." She told him while rubbing 2 certain scales, and once Spike's 2 minispikes were stiff enough, Pontron rode him like a well....like a horse!
"Raped by a monster, Trixie wonders how Beauty and the Beast felt when that happened to her! Ha, ha, ruining fairy tales for the win! Now give Trixie the next letter."
Meanwhile in Canterlot, Veetrix got-up after being defeated!
"Panzer...you're not going to get away!"
Meanwhile on the new train the 5 took, a certain elf hero & red caped Italian man walked-up to Fatboi.
"Mario & Link?"
"Hello Sir Fatboi, I'm here to teach you my Triforce Slash Final Smash, and my friend Mario here wants to teach you his fireball technique!"
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Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.10: Sunset's Friends Episode 3: A Presious Flower
Veetrix had just made it limping to the train station, he was shocked by all the poor guards who died!
"Poor Samuel, he was born alone, and then dies still with no family! Devin, you were so young! Mike J. Roberts, you were suppose to retire tomorrow! Emanuel, you were going to finally propose to that candy shop mare, and she was such a sweet heart! Takahiro & Takatora, I still can't tell you apart! Johnny F Cock, you were the wildest fighter even though you were so fucking fat!" Then he heard groaning. "Huh?"
"C...Captain!"
"Baggy Slacks?"
"T...tell my son Baggy Packs, that I'll be with him in spirit as he graduates university!" Then he closed his eyes.
"No, Baggy, we can tell him together, please! Wake-up! Please! Oh wah hahah, my poor men!"
"Veetrix!"
"Princess Luna?"
"Let's go! I'll heal you back to full health as we chase down those damn monsters!" Then she used a healing spell! "Let's go!"
Veetrix mounted her, no get your brain out of the gutter, not in that way you moron, besides, Veetrix is a married man. Then they left.
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Flower Child, ooh, she's cute!"
Then Cloudy Quarts gave Igneous the stink eye!
"Whoa honey, you know you're my true love right? I only think she's cute, like our daughters."
Then she smiled and kissed his cheek.
"Oooooh, what happened?"
"You got your ass kicked again!"
"Well, I'll be hosting again, so PLEASE begin! Are you happy now Maud?" She then shot her the hater face.
Spike had just left the hospital again, after the incident in the last episode, where Fluttershy along with her G1 & 3 incarnations kicked Sweet Leaf's ass! Yes, those 3 were sent to jail, but Wysteria was given much more time in jail just because she's G3. Spike walked through the Ponyville until suddenly, flowers began flying past him, he a,most got smacked in the face by a Hoppip and a Flabebe! He then looked to his front and dropped his jaw! It mus have been the lighting, but in any case, the mare running towards him, chasing the flowers was looking very elegant!
"Spike, help me get the flowers."
"Oh-sure!"
They managed to get back all of the flowers that were flying through the breeze.
"Here you go! That's the last of them Flower Child."
"Thanks Spike, you're such a sweet heart!" Then she kissed his forehead.
Spike then felt a good shiver. He still has Stockholm Syndrome everyone! Anyway, just before Flower Child left...
"Wait, where are you going?"
"Why I'm opening a flower stand."
"You may want to have me sit next to you, that way your business can become big enough for a whole 5 month's rent on your apartment."
"Hmm? How would your presence do that?"
"Trust me."
"Well we've only known each other for 3 days, but I guess you can help out, you little cutie!" She said as she tickled his chin.
So Spike assisted with her business, and just because Spike is the son of Twilight Sparkle the Princess of Friendship, attracted a-lot of ponies to her stand! They sold tons of flowers. Soon they finally closed shop.
"Wow, look at all of this money! Thank you Spike!" Then she gave Spike a great big kiss on the lips! "So, wanna come to my place tonight?"
"Ye..." Then he was cut off!
"Hey bitch! I aint gonna let you rip me off! So I brought my husband Dr.Whooves, and his mistress Derpy to kick your ass!"
"Oh-no you don't Roseluck, I will not allow another one of my friends to get hurt!"
"That's just the Stockholm's Syndrome talking kid! Dinky, please play with Spike, while we cause a-lot of off camera violence!
"Okay mommy!" Then Dinky levitated him and ran off to the park.
"Your flank is mine!" Then they all jumped at Flower Child!
"Yikes, getting beat-up by Derpy & Dr.Whooves? Brutal! Now please get Trixie the next letter!"
Meanwhile...
"Excellent Sir Fatboi, you executed our attacks perfectly, good luck, and watch out for the Toon version of me, he's coming after you guys to kick your asses!"
Then they left our heroes, and as soon as they left, 2 familiar faces walked up to Blood Brandy. Hey, I'm Falco Lambardi, and this sissy looking angel next to me is Pit!"
"Hey, I do not look like a sissy!"
"Your mommy Palutena picked out the girlyest looking fashion for you!"
Then Palutena called.
"Hey, he just called me your mommy! That gives me a great idea! I'll call you later, son!"
"Wait what? Lady Palutena, wait! Drat! Also, Falco, quit calling me girly, I look cool in this fashion!"
"What kinda fashion statement is that? Weak looking men?"
"I'd love to listen to this argument questioning Pit's manliness, but why are you here?" Asked Blood Brandy.
"Oh, I'm here to teach you the Falco Phantasm, and Pitiful Unmanly Dressed Man here wants to teach you the 3 Great Sacred Treasures Final Smash!"
"Okay that's it! I'm going to kick your tail feathers!"
Author's Note
Hoppip: Gen 2
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.11: Surfing on my Turf!
Pit was then smashed out of the train!
"Ooh, he was suppose to teach you a Final Smash, maybe the next guy will teach you. Anyway, come at me as I teach you the Falco Phantasm, and as a bonus, I'll also teach yah the Fire Bird!"
"Sweet!"
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Surf & Turf? Who are those 2?"
"They're those valley girl ponies who cut in front of Fluttershy in the episode Putting Your Hoof Down!"
"We're in trouble now! Just begin the story!"
How come nobody likes Pit? Is it because of the fact he can only fly once a day for 5 minutes or something? In any case, I actually like him because of how he's a weapon master, and the dialogue in his game is hilarious! The final boss battle even had some great dialogue. Pit! Hades! Pit! Hades! Pit! Hades! Piiiiit! Hadeeeeees! Achoo! Excuse you! Damn man, if funny dialogue like that doesn't make you like him, then too bad for you! So any way, Spike had just entered himself in the surf competition and is determined for victory! Because the grand prize, Is a cruise around the world for 3! he plans to have him, Twilight, and Rarity go on that cruise because of his love for both! And also, it's a month long cruise with free everything! He intends to spend this month to finally win over Rarity's feelings once and for all! He feels like he can win, for he's surfed plenty of random times, and his pines make him more arrow dynamic that the other competitors! He was about to meet-up with his friends after signing until suddenly...
"What do you think you're doing little dragon?"
"Surf & Turf, it's pleasure to see you to!"
"Cut the crap boy! That cruise is ours!"
"That's if, you can beat me!"
"Aaaaaaaw, he thinks he has a chance at beating us!" Said Turf.
"Listen here shrimp, this beach is our turf! So you better back down or we'll crush you!" Threatened Surf!
"I do not scare easily bitches, so yeah, back off! (This is my only chance to make Rarity mine, and I refuse to let anyone stop me, especially those 2 annoying ass bitches!)"
"We gotta do something Turf, every time we intimidate a threat, they always bow out!"
"I guess it wont work this time girl, looks like we gotta cheat!"
"Yeah, and let's not forget, it's an anything goes match!"
"Fuck yeah, now let's do this!"
So the competition began with and so many were taken out, but Spike's burning will, made him stay strong! That's when, a Sharpedo jumped at him! Spike countered and punched it's nose! Then Sharpedo retreated to it's Pokeball!
"You girls, are you seriously trying to kill me? Fine, if it's a fight you want, than bring it!"
"Blah, blah, blah! Surf, catch this!" Then Turf threw to Surf, a chain saw! Surf then struck Spike's board, and Spike took the chainsaw, threw it into the wave, then froze Surf where she stood with a surprise kiss! Then Spike laid Surf down on the board she was on.
"Surf!"
Then Spike jumped to the board Turf was on, then froze her as well with a surprise kiss! Guess you could say he's as cool as the Ice dragon Kyurem! So Spike won the surf contest, and the prize, unfortunately, Twilight & Rarity got sick being splashed by so much water! Spike then felt disappointed about that fact! Then, he thought of something, so the free cruise wouldn't go to waste.
"Hey Surf & Turf?"
"Yeah?"
"Here, you can go-onger the cruise, the 2 I wanted to bring got sick."
"You're really giving us these tickets?"
"Yeah, my original plans were derailed, so it seems that this time the bad guys win!"
Then before Spike turned, his left arm was grabbed by Surf, and his right Turf.
"Huh?"
"Come with us Spike, it'll be fun, and also..." then they put their lips on his at the same time by having them take a side on his lips each. "Also, that's for what you did to us earlier! So, you feeling like it?"
"...sure."
"Good, we'll see you tomorrow at the docks!" Then after they went their separate ways..."Huh, instead of a beautiful pony like Rarity, I instead got 2 cute ponies."
"Sweet girl, we just got ourselves a free cruise, and a lay!"
"Trixie really doesn't like their accents, get Trixie the next letter please."
Meanwhile...
"Great job on learning both of my moves! Now I must be off!"
Then after Falco left...
"Hello, I am a random Pokemon Trainer and my Greninja here would like to teach you Blood Brandy, his Night Slash Final Smash!"
"Cool, I'll be just like Strider Hiryu using the Ragnarok!"
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Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.12: Sunset's Friends Episode 4: The Melodious Theater!
"...Ngh!" Veetrix was feeling extreme pain in his head!
"Captain Veetrix, are you okay?"
"Ghhh"
*In his head!*
"Veetrix, here, take my Beast Ganon Final Smash!"
"Also, here, take my Bowser Bomb Technique!"
Then the voices in his head stopped, and he then felt like shit
"Luna, please heal me again!"
"Fine. (What happened?)"
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Watermelody! Ooh, I think we got ourselves a brand new Watermelon Pony, sorry Blossomforth, now begin the story!"
Again, Spike had just left the Hospital
"If this keeps up, there will be a rut!" Spike joked. So he went home to lay down on his bed, and read his scripts.
*Knock!* *Knock!*
"It's open!"
Then the door opened to reveal Watermelody.
"Hey Spike."
"Oh, hey Watermelody."
"What's that you got there Spike?"
"Oh, just a few of my Scripts I've written myself."
"Ooh, you've written a few Scripts? Lemme see! I was in the Drama club back in Canterlot High."
"Sure, here you go!"
"Ooh, this one's good." Then she took another one. "This one's good too!"
She read through all of his plays, such as The Boy Who Cried Velociraptor, Paper Sonic the 1000 Year painting, Big Time Flush, Hi Mule Musical, etc. etc.
"All of these are great Spike, how come you never had these published to the Ponyville Theater?"
"They don't care who I'm connected to, unless I'm 21 or over, the ponies at that theater still see me as a kid, so that's why I never had these published!"
"Well, let's show 'em what a boy your age can do! You have the money for a big production now right?"
"Yeah you're right! Hey, Shaggy Fur!"
"Yes Prince Spike?"
"Get the staff! Time for a play!"
"Yes sir!"
So Spike and Watermelody got to work on choosing which play they should act out, until they finally agreed on one! They hired actors & actresses, they made posters, they hired ponies to sell concessions, hired a young teenage colt to sell tickets, hired Applebloom to make sets, had Scootaloo on organizing the dancers, and Sweetie Belle on the singers! Soon,all their efforts would be put to the test later, on this night! The more they planned, the more they realized they were made for each other.
"Spike, how're you feeling?"
"Nervous as Tartarus!"
"Oh, well here, let's rub noses for luck!" Their lips were so close.
"Thanks, but don't worry, I'll just count to 10, and I'll be just fine! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! There, now I'm fine, ready to go out there and make a great show of it?"
"Yes, I will not let you down Spike!" Then She kissed his forehead, which caused him to shiver! But like last time, it was a good kind of shiver!
Watermelody went out there and showed the audience how amazing she was as an actress in the play: Pon, Ponn, and Ponny's Big Picture Show! Where she played Pazz! As Spike watched, he felt a twinge of jealousy as Watermelody and the Stallion playing Tevin were doing the big romantic scene, but calmed down after she threw his bike at the tree. Oh, and just so you know, there's actually this one student in my Highschool named Tevin
"You did great!"
"Thanks Spike!"
"Much better than rehearsal!"
"Thanks! So...I wont be back in a while."
"Wanna fool around?"
"Fuck yeah!"
So then sex happened under the stage as the play went on! But since this doesn't have the sex tag, I will not be describing it! I'll just say that they had sex! Thankfully, Spike had a chance to climax before Watermelody had to return for the next scene! Soon, the play ended, and everypony, no literally everypony gave standing ovations! Clapping, cheering, whistling, clopping! Yeah, there were a few weirdos in the audience clopping instead of clapping.
"Get out there Spike, they love your play!"
After the clapping stopped, Pony Peter Griffin got into a last clap contest with Pony Cleveland. Spike entered stage right.
"Thank you everypony, it means so much to me that you love my play! So, Silver Script & Written Script, what do you jerks think of my scripts now?"
The both of them were speechless, which caused everypony to laugh.
"Good. all of this took so much time, but i put a-lotta love and heart into making this play a success! Now everypony, give a rousing round of applause for the pony who assisted me the most on this! Watermelody!"
Then as everpony clapped, it then stopped as Blossom forth jumped onto stage.
"Watermelody? More like stealing my title as watermelon pony! Hold still as I kick your flank, you rip-off!" Then she jumped at her!
"Again? Come-on!" Then the audience laughed again. 'No, this sin't part of the play, are there cops & doctors in the house?!"
"Wow, beat-up in front of the whole of Ponyville, Trixie wouldn't like that to happen to her, then again I embarrassed myself twice. Now get Trixie the next letter!"
Meanwhile...
"What's taking those guys so long? Eh, guess I can take a little nap." Deezutra said to himself
Then the train with the 5 arrived and they didn't even notice Shogun Deezutra as they walked by him, to meet-up with Trahzo!
"Next step, have Pinkie, Pinkamena, and Surprise touch each other." Said Fatboi.
"Wait, wont that cause some sort of paradox?" Asked Black Kirin.
"Maybe, but we must do what Trahzo says!"
"But where's Surpr..."
"Surprise!" The said mare shouted.
"Aah! Dammit, don't scare me like that!"
"Don't be such a crybaby, besides, I brought all of the subscribers with me, and they're all itching for a fight."
"Oh, here it says that all of the Subscribers except Wild Flower have to guard the house!"
"What's Wild Flower suppose to do?" Asked Pinkamena
"...hug Trahzo."
Then everyone fell over like in anime, when someone says something stupid enough!
Author's Note
Since Spike wrote a play in Testing Testing 1, 2, 3, I was just thinking that maybe he's written more, but not a lot of people liked them!
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Veetrix & Luna finally made it, and met-up with a napping Deezutra.
"UNCLE!"
"Veetrix & Luna? Hmm? Nephew, tell me, why are you crying?"
"I lost all of my men! I lost friends!"
"Don't cry child, their deaths were not be in vain, for they fought hard! That counts!"
"B-but I abandoned them just to be defeated by Panzer!"
"It was a personal thing between you and a formidable foe, I understand, I had to abandon a bunch back when our world was being destroyed, but I was able to defeat the monster who ended it all!"
"You really think I can beat Panzer?"
"Yes, now let's go!"
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Smarty Pants? But she's a doll, you know what? Never mind, let's see how it'll work."
One night, Twilight decided to take out her childhood toy. I say toy, because she only saw Shining Armor as a friend, Spike was just her slave, Princess Celestia was her teacher, and Princess Cadence was her babysitter! Yeah, those 3 weren't your friends even though they all loved you, what a bitch! Anyways, she took a good look, remembering all the good times they spent together, then she cuddled it!
"I wish you were real."
Meanwhile in Canterlot Princess Celestia was just about to go to sleep until she heard her Number 1 Student's wish.
"Just this once Twilight, I'll grant your wish because you make me the proudest mentor ever." Then she had her horn create a super powerful flash! "Oh great force of Equestria that allows life & magic, please give this doll the ability to live just like other ponies!"
Then a flash as bright as a supernova flashed, causing a golden aurora!
"Have fun with your new friend Twilight!"
The next day, Twilight woke-up to 2 smiling faces! One belonged to Spike, while the other one belonged to...
"S-Smarty Pants?"
"That's right Twilight!" Then she gave Twi a hug
Yep, Smarty Pants turned into an average sized mare, with her doll form's cutiemark, eye color, fur color, Mane & Tail style, and shorts. To add to this, she is very smart, because as you can see, it's evident that she tutored Spike, allowing him graduate University in only 10 seconds flat, fast enough to see Twilight wake-up.
"Yay, my wish came true!" She then returned the hug! "So, do you wanna play?"
"Sorry Twilight, but now that you're all grown-up, I'm now gonna spend my time with Spike, until he becomes all grown-up! Then, it's the next kid in the Sparkle Family."
"(Well, I did try to hand her down to the CMC it would make sense seeing her as a hand me down heirloom!) Oh, alright! Have fun Spike! But would you like to hang out later?"
"Totally Twilight, you're my best friend, but you know, I want to know Spike better, because it'd be very awkward if we lived in the same home, but weren't close!" She said while nuzzling Spike without warning. Even though, he still hugged Smarty Pants back. Then they all heard a grumbling.
"Tee-hee, guess it's time for breakfast."
"Come-on Smarty, time for you to learn how great food is!"
"Yay, sounds like a wonderful experience!"
So Spike made breakfast.
"Aaaaah, do I love making food for lots of people! For ladies, Daffodil pancakes, with a glass of orange juice each, for moi, Assorted Gems, and finally for the Owl, bird seeds and worms!"
So they all dug in, but Smarty Pants didn't like the taste of Pancakes, and was very curious about Spike's gems. She stared straight at him drooling. Spike then took notice.
"Something wrong Smarty?"
"Can I have a gem?"
"...sure." Then he gave her the gem. "Once you finally give-up trying to crack it, I'll..." Then he heard hard crunching!
"Mmm.......gems are yummy!"
"Well, guess I'm now making to 2 bowls of Gems instead 2 plates of pancakes every morning."
"Hey Smarty Pants, you sure you wanna eat gems? I don't think eating gems is safe for ponies, and I don't think eating something as hard as rocks is safe for your teeth."
"That's future Smarty Pants's problem Twilight!"
"That's the same thing Spike told me when I was visited by future Twilight causing me to go paranoid and ignore my parental duties."
"Great minds think alike." Spike said, while laying down the 2nd bowl of gems next to his seat.
"Yay, I get to sit next to Spike!" Then she hugged Spike again, without warning, and then ate one gem at a time while cuddling Spike. That's strange right? Usually it's the doll that gets cuddled, but since the toy is alive, guess the shoe is on the other hoof!
After breakfast, Spike finished his chores so he could enjoy his time with Smarty Pants. They spent the whole day talking about him, since Smarty Pants used to be a toy, she doesn't have that much about her. Though, she did learn a-lot about Spike, his secrets, hopes, dreams, etc. etc. mother fucking etc.! And after making her own analysis in her head, his eventual confession will lead to something rather horrible! So, thinking back to everything she learned, allowed her to find a way to make him fall for her! Even though they have only just met, she would just love to have him, and experience more things she hasn't done before, and yes, I mean those things.
The Next Day...
"WOW! HOW DID YOU FIND THIS AMAZING PLACE?" Spike was having a figurative orgasm because they were in was a cave lined with glistening crystals.
"I just wanted to you know, give you an award for taking the time for me to learn about you, also you have no idea how hard it was finding this place!"
"And what an award you gave me!" Then he gave her a big hug, and didn't notice her blush.
She let him eat and eat until she found it was a good time to call for him.
"Spike?"
"Yes Smarty Pants?"
"I found a nice hot spring over there when exploring, you wanna take a dip?"
"A crystal cave with it's own secret hot spring? Of course!"
Smarty Pants lead Spike to the hot spring.
"Holy moley, it's huge!"
Spike then jumped and made a huge splash!
"Smarty Pants, what are you wai..." Then he cut himself off as he watched Smarty Pants slowly take her shorts off, yeah ponies don't normally wear clothes, but there was something about what Smarty Pants was doing that made him want to cover himself down there. "Hot damn!"
"What was that Spike? (Got him!)"
"Oh, nothing!"
"Okay, hope you don't mind me removing my shorts, I don't want to get them wet."
"No, go ahead! (No boners don't do it!)"
Smarty Pants lied on her back, pulling off her pants and was giving quite the show for the little guy.
"(Her, her vagi...oh-no my boner did it!)"
After that, she gently went into the hot spring.
" *Sigh!* That feels so good on my skin. Come here you!" Then she pulled him to her! "Hmm?" She pretended. "Is that what I think it is?" She then put her hoof down to have a feel. "Huh, sure feels like it."
"S-Smarty Pants, st-st-stop, if you keep it up, *hard breathing!* "
"Sorry Spike, but after reading the pornographic material under Twilight's bed, I felt great curiosity to experience how sex feels, that's why I brought you here." Spike would've said something if it hadn't been for Smarty Pants cutting him off with a french kiss! "Doesn't this feel great Spike? Getting lucky in a crystal cave's hot spring."
Spike had no complaint, so Smarty Pants just returned to what she was doing, the both of them, alone, in a quiet & hard to find cave! Well, it wasn't that quiet any more from their moaning.
"Ooh saucy! Okay, give Trixie the next letter please!"
*knock!* *Knock!*
"I'll get it!" Said Cloudy Quarts. "Oh, it's great to see you again Surprise, and I see you've brought Pinkamena with you!"
"Hi sorta mom, hey Pinkie, let's touch!"
"Okay!" So they all put their hooves together, and then a great power was given to Panzer, Black Kirin, Fatboi, and Blood Brandy!
Meanwhile...
"Hello, have you seen the man in the wanted poster?"
"No!"
"Okay then, have a good night!"
"Boy, this village is bigger than I thought!" said Veetrix.
"Yep, but one of these houses is bound to have Trahzo!" Said Deezutra.
"(I better find them 1st, and show Trixie how a real host does it!)" Luna thought. "(Oh, and I better arrest Trahzo once I find them...that's important I guess.)" Luna thought.
Author's Note
The title is suppose to be a play on words on the Dahlai Llama!
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.14: A New KIND of Crazy!
Panzer, Black Kirin, Fatboi, and Blood Brandy were given great power!
"What has happened?" Asked Blood Brandy.
"Oh that's simple, you guys can now execute the final smash anytime you want without the use of a Smash Ball!" Answered Pinkamena.
"Wait, we can but you can't?"
"I'm not a main hero sorry guys!"
"Oh, next it says that Pinkamena has to stay here while we go out and have out big duel with Luna and Veetrix as our final step." Said Fatboi.
"What? We're not going to fight Deezutra?" Gasped Black Kirin.
"Trahzo wants to take him!"
"Damn! But what if their next battle does the same thing in the last volume?"
"It says here that it will work out afterwards!"
"I hope the last of that paper is right!"
"It hasn't been wrong before." Said The next door neighbor "Oh, and can you guys spare 2 and a half cups of some sugar?"
"Well, let's have some of the muffins in my bag! Eat-up guys, this next part may be our final battle!" Said Black Kirin.
"Ooh, I'll have the double fudge muff..." Then Blood Brandy's hooves where slapped.
"No, you'll have the citrus muffin! I heard what you mumbled about Pinkamena on the train! She is not an insane killer whorse!"
"I said Mitsuzane is the worst!"
"Well too bad, you're still getting the citrus!"
The smell of the muffins caused me to enter the living room!
"Hello everypony, I'll be taking this Oreo muffin, and go back to typing, good luck on your final battle!"
"Thank you master, and good luck on your upcoming showdown with Deezutra! Have a good night now!"
"You too, and also, please give this teddy bear Veetrix!"
"Wh-why?"
"It's a surprise!"
So after snack time, it was time for the 4 to head out!
"Those guys all seemed very nice! Now I can finally read this letter next is...Fluttermena?"
"Yes, back in Magical Mystery Cure, when the bronies saw Fluttershy with Pinkie's cutiemark, it created Fluttermena, and since Rarity had Rainbow's cutiemark..."
"Okay, okay, okay! Trixie gets the idea, just begin the story!"
"Om nom nom! Wow Fluttershy, you may have Pinkie's cutiemark, but you still make some pretty good baked goods! Om nom nom!"
"Thank you Spike, you're always so sweet to me!"
"I could say the same thing about Fluttershy! Mmm, these cupcakes are so good, just look, a marshmallow filling!"
Then the door slammed opened!
"Girls, have any of you seen Rarity?"
"No Twilight, what happened?"
"She's missing, she didn't leave any sign of where she was going."
"Oh, she told me where she went." Said Fluttershy."Rarity wanted me to tell you guys that..." Then she began tearing-up..."She said she decided to use the The End Spell!"
Then Twilight gasped and Spike stopped eating and dropped his muffin.
"Was being the weather mare really that stressful?"
"Yes! Oh Rarity, she thought all of it should just end and she decided to end it herself!"
"No! It can't be true!"
"I couldn't do anything to stop her! So, she used her spell to die!"
Then the 2 began crying and held each other close. Fluttershy stood by while she watched Twilight and Spike hugging, causing something within her to become enraged. So enrage, that she crushed the cupcake next to her.
"(Dammit, Spike was suppose to hug me!)"
So as the days went on, one by one, they all mysteriously disappeared, she fed Spike the cupcake versions of them until She and Spike were the only ones left!
"They're all gone!" Spike lamented.
"Don't feel bad Spike, you should know, that good old Fluttermena is here to comfort and protect you!" Then she hugged him.
"F-fluttermena?" Then Spike began stepping backwards. "Didn't P-pinkie Pie used to call herself Pinkamena back when we were all lying to her?"
"Yep, and let's not forget, she was really insane!"
"But how did..." Then he directed his eyes to Fluttershy's cutiemark. "...gasp! Th-the cutiemark! It's your cutiemark that turned you into a...g-get AWAY FROM ME! I WONT LET YOU KILL ME! I'm gonna burn you to ashes, vengeance for all of the poor ponies you've killed!"
"Aren't you forgetting? I got the reality bending powers of Pinkamena, so I can defeat you right here, right now!" Then she grabbed him, and knocked him out with a chloroform filled handkerchief!
48 Minutes later Spike awoke to find himself tied down to the wall.
"Hello there my love!"
"Fluttershy, or rather Fluttermena, even though it's too late to stop you, please let me go! Please spare me!"
"Don't worry Spike, I have always had a soft spot for you." She said while walking to him in a sultry way. 'You wont meet the same fate like the others! You wont become a murder victim, like all those others who stole your attention from me! No, were are going to be married, and I got your ring right here, and once we do, you wont be a rape victim! Oh Angel!"
Then Angel came in with the other animals looking like a justice of the peace.
"Dammit Angel, I thought we were friends!"
Then Angel stuck his tongue out at Spike, assuring that they were not friends in anyway!
"Enough of this, time for me to get married to Spike! Then after we become husband and wife, you'll pay your attention to me!"
"Even the quiet one's could lose it! Get Trixie the next letter!"
View Online
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.15: Sunset's Friends Episode 5: Minty Breath Kiss!
"Next is...oh, and we've made it to the final episode of Sunset's Friends! Where in this one, Spike will be shipped with Mystery Mint! Begin the story now!"
You already know the building Spike exited, this is the 4th time he left it!
"Damn. This is getting worse! Who's next? Sunset? Or oof!"
"Oh, sorry Spike!"
"That's okay Mystery Mint."
"Good, because Sunset Shimmer just got beaten-up by Trixie and Twilight!"
"Then that means you're the only one left!"
"I know it's bad!"
"I wont let them get to you!" Then he embraced her, with worry.
"Don't worry Spike, I can take care of myself! So, wanna catch a concert later?"
"Okay!"
"Good, pick you up late!" Then she kissed his forehead.
Later...
"Okay Twilight, I'll be seeing you! Don't wait up!"
"What do you mean Spike?"
"Well, I'm going to hang out wit Mystery Mint at the rock concert!"
"No you're not!"
"What do you mean?"
"Spike, you were kidnapped and now you have Stockholm's syndrome! I wont allow yo to be with the enemy!"
"I do not have Stockholm's Syndrome!"
"Oh yeah? How come you've been kissing them consecutively? At least that's what the assailants tell me!"
"I don't need to explain that to you mom!"
"Spike! You are not allowed to leave!"
Then Spike continued on.
"Spike! Where do you think you're going mister? You-you get back here right now!" Then she followed him out the door. "Y-you get back here right now!" Then She stopped at the front lawn as she yelled at Spike to stop. "You better not get on Mystery Mint's back, don't you purchase those tickets! Don't you find your seats! Don't you sit dow...oh, you are so grounded when you get home!" I hope you people were able to get that was a family guy reference!
Meanwhile at the concert, Spike and Mystery Mint were banging heads! The music was so intense! Soon, they made it to the heavy metal portion of the concert! Where a great youtuber known as Pellek came to sing his Metal medley of every last Pokemon Opening from classic to XY, his Metal medley of every last Power Rangers Opening, from Mighty Morphin to Super Megaforce, his Metal version of Let It Go, and many many more Metal songs! The crowds roared because of his amazing voice!
"Dang this is my 1st time listening to Heavy Metal! Is really this awesome?"
"Yeah! Why haven't you heard this before?"
"Twilight says that Heavy Metal is horrible!"
"Oh just forget that lamer for tonight!"
"You know I will, for music this powerful!"
Then Spike and Mystery Mint took a good look into each other's eyes, as Pellek began singing the theme song for Pokemon Black and White Adventures in Unova!
"Mystery Mint, you are awesome!"
"Really?"
"I kept on being told that I have Stockholm Syndrome, but they're all just being crazy! Listen, you guys have shown me the funnest week I've ever had!"
"Thanks Spike, that's very sweet of you, if we were all here, your face would be smothered in kissing marks, in short seconds. Well, guess I'll have to do it myself! Come here you!"
"Whoa!"
Spike didn't fight back as she covered his face with lipstick.
"I like your minty breath." Spike complimented.
" *Giggle!* Thank you!"
Then after Pellek finished singing his Pokemon medley, he was about to announce what he was going to sing next until suddenly Minty from G3 appeared.
"Hey I'm Minty and I brought Charity Sweetmint, and Colgate with me to kick Mystery Mint's ass for ripping off our names!"
Then they jumped at Mystery Mint.
"CRAP!" Is what echoed when Spike shouted in great annoyance.
"And that's the end of the Sunset's Friends saga, now bring Trixie the next letter!"
Meanwhile...
Our 4 brave fighters stood against 2 royal guard captains and the Princess of the night!
"Uncle, go-on ahead, we got this!"
"Good luck Veetrix, you can do this!" Then he boosted past them, Blood and Black tried to stop Deezutra, but where blocked by Luna's force field!
"Your opponents are us!"
"Guys, let's do this! Black Kirin, you're with me while we fight Veetrix! Blood Brandy & Fatboi, you take on Luna! We can win!"
"Right!" They all responded.
Author's Note
Subscribe to Pellek: https://www.youtube.com/user/pellekofficial
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
"Here I go!"
"Let's do this!"
Then Black Kirin & Panzer used their techniques. 1st Panzer sent Veetrix flying with a Falcon Punch, then Black Kirin sent him flying with the Super Jump Punch! Then began shooting at him with Golden revolvers, that's when Veetrix used the Bowser Bomber!
"Hey, that's Bowser's move! How'd you know learn that?"
"I don't know, a pain in my head had me learn it! Now, take this!" Then he fired a net at Panzer, but Panzer dodged!
"Do you think something's wrong Black Kirin?"
"Yeah, there's something different about Veetrix, but we can't let that bother us right now!"
"Aaah! The pain in my head has come back!"
"Now's our chance, he's open!"
Meanwhile...
"Next is... Mane Goodall! Oh she's the vet from Secret of my Excess! Begin."
"Hello Mane Goodall!"
"Ah, hey there Princess Twilight, and Helllllloooo Spike! *Giggle!* "
"Yeah, Spike feels sick, and I'm not sure what's wrong, so seeing that you learned about dragons from your expedition with Zecora, makes me think that you may know something about what's wrong with Spike."
Then Spike shot a naughty grin at Mane Goodall, and she returned it.
"I'm afraid that you may have to go outside while I give Spike a check-up."
"Okay, be safe Spike." Then she left the room, then Mane Goodall locked it.
"Good, now Spike honey, get on the counter."
"Yes Doctor." Spike got on top of the counter, and both shot naughty grins at each other.
"Let's see if there's anything wrong with your mouth. Turn and cough!"
He turned his head and coughed, then Mane Goodall licked his cheek.
"Good, now let's see inside your mouth! Say ah."
"Ah!" Then they began frenching each other while feeling-up their backs. Spike's hands then decided to let him travel farther to her flank. Mane Goodall & Spike explored each other thoroughly and then fought for dominance until they both began losing breath and broke apart.
" *pan!* *pan!* Alright, next I'm gonna have to check your temperature, lift your chin." Spike did as she commanded, and then she gave him a hickey! Then Spike returned it with a tiger kiss.
"Now, let's listen to that heartbeat."
Yeah, this part is not kinky, so shut-up!
"Let's see your motor skills." Then she go on his knees, and began grinding Spike's knees against her...cat, if you know what I mean. "Mmmph, thick and scaley, your reaction movements are normal. Now, let's see how your reproductive organs work."
Hours later, the door opened with both Spike & Mane Goodall looking real sweaty.
'Oh Spike! What is it doc? Is something wrong with him?"
"Can't say for certain, you may want to have him come over tomorrow, don't worry, this will all be free of charge!"
"Oh thank you doc, let's go home Spike...hey why do you smell funny?'
"No reason."
"(I'll be seeing you tomorrow stud!)" Mane Goodall thought while heading back to her office.
"Wow, too intense, just look everyone here is breathing heavily."
"Trixie, think you can do this without your co-hosts?" Asked Igneous.
"Why?"
"..."
"Oh, I see! Go-on ahead."
"Thanks Trix, now let's go honey!"
"You don't have to tell me twice!" Then they rushed to their rooms!
"Oh my Celestia, I can here the clopping of the pie sisters, and the sounds of Igneous making passionate love to Cloudy! I'll just wait for the Meanwhile, then go give myself a hot shower."
Meanwhile...
"Aaaaaaah!"
"What's wrong with this guy?"
"MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Where's that maniacal laughter coming from?" Asked Fatboi.
"Look!" Black Kirin pointed out!
"Hello, I'm the Master Hand!"
"And I'm the Crazy Hand!"
"We have taken this man over because we love making people suffer, which is what we're going to do to you 5!" They said in unison.
"Master, you take that side, and I'll take this side!"
"Very well then Crazy!"
"Guys! If you free me! Then I'll back off!"
"Ooh, he has some free will left!"
"Crazy, let's crush that last bit of free will!"
"Splendid idea!" Then with 2 snaps!
"Are you all ready to do this?" Asked Panzer
"Yeah!" They all replied.
"Kill them our fighting Polygon team!"
"You 2 Metal Mario! Go get them!"
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
"Here we go guys! Landmanster!" Then Panzer began shooting down the fighting polygons!
"Volt Tackle!" Then Black Kirin alternated between hitting the Master Hand & Crazy Hand!
"Triforce Slash!" Then Fatboi trapped Mario in a Triforce seal and began slashing Metal Mario multiple times! "Now it's your turn Blood Brandy!
"Night Slash!" Then Blood Brandy launched Metal Mario into the air and his silhouette imitated Strider Hiryu's Ragnarok!
Then Luna crushed a Smash Ball!
"What? Princess Luna, you know a final Smash?"
"That's right, now here I go! Negative Zone!"
"What? How come you have the negative, Ooooh, I get it, it's because just like how Luigi keeps on being ignored by Nintendo, you're the sister that Hasbro keeps on ignoring! That's clever writing Trahzo!" Fatboi said, breaking the 4th wall!
"Now's our chance guys get those 2 hands!"
"Here Panzer, take a machete! Let's cut off their fingers!" suggested Black Kirin!
"Agreed!"
*Shing!* *Shing* *Shing* *Shing!* *Shing!*
"Nooo!"
"Oh look, it's Master Nub, and Crazy Nub!" Luna joked.
"Let us end this!" Then Fatboi shot a fireball finishing Crazy hand, while Blood Brandy used the Fire Bird to end the Master hand!
"Graaaaaaaaaaah! This isn't over!"
"Yeah! We'll be back in Super Smash Bros. 4!"
Luna then walked over to Veetrix.
"Oh my goodness, captain Veetrix, your hands!"
"Don't worry, my aunt is a scientist, she'll make me some mechanical ones! Also, I'm a man of my word, so yeah, I'll back off you guys and Trahzo! Luna, do you still want to stop Trixie? This volume is almost over, we're at the 2nd to last ship!"
"Darn! Very well then, guess we're heading back! Have a good night all of you!'
Then they went back to Canterlot.
Meanwhile...
"Next is...Lily? Ooh, she's pretty cute, she's that pony who scares easily, link to her Youtube video should be in the author's notes of this chapter! Oh, and speaking of chapters, begin this one now!"
Lily was at the bar drinking with Berry Punch! They drank until she was knocked out! Then being an ass, Berry used Lily's wallet.
7 hours later...
"...Ey..."
"...Ey....get u..."
"MIss, WAKE UP!"
"Ah! Wh-what happened? How long have I been out?"
"You've been out for 7 hours, and it's closing time!"
"Wh-where's Berry Punch?"
"Your friend bailed after she used your bits to pay for the drinks!"
"(That bitch!)"
"Come-on, I gotta go get home so the children don't egg & tepee my house, or worse!"
"E-egg & tepee..oh no, you don't mean!"
"Yeah, it's nightmare night! So come-on, scram!"
"No please!"
"What's wrong with you?"
"I frighten easily!"
"Don't worry, the scares are for fun, now if you can kindly... GET OUT!"
Then Lily was booted out of the bar!
"Okay Lily, remember...they only scare for fun...they only scare for..." Then she bumped into a child dressed like Buneary.
"Aaaaah!"
Then she bumped into a child dressed like Lola Bunny.
"Aaaaaaaaaah!"
Then she bumped into a child dressed like a Star bunny
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Then she bumped into a child dressed like a Polof!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Then she bumped into a child dressed like a Bunnelby!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Then she bumped into a child wearing a bunny hood.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Then she bumped into Rarity!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah witch!"
"Darling I'm not a witch, I'm a bad fashion...drat, she's gone!"
"Nah Rarity, you're always a witch!" Joked Applejack.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Yeah Rarity, you are pretty witch like." Rainbow added.
"Rarity, you are a true wi..." Then Pinkie was cut off.
"Okay okay okay! I get the point! I may not be that good of a pony, but please shut-up!"
Meanwhile Lily ran into the Everfree Forest after being led through her fear of many non-scary bunny costumes, well The Rabbids are pretty ugly looking. Then she entered the castle of the 2 sisters! Then made a hard stop!
"Oh my fucking Celestia, damn it! If only I wasn't such a coward!"
Then she heard the sound of eating somewhere, which caused her to stiffen her entire body.
"Eep, what's that!" Then like in horror movies, she slowly followed the sounds of chewing, closer and closer did the sounds begin getting louder! Then after turning the corner, she entered the room where the munching was.
"Huh?"
"Sp-spike?"
"Lily? What are you doing here?"
"I got drunk, then passed out, then got kicked out, then all of the scary bunny costumes and Rariwitch scared me all the way here! Then I heard the sound of something eating another something, then I found you!"
"Well, since you're here already, let's just hang out here! I already made my tribute to Princess Luna, in fact, she'll be here in a few hours to hang out! So come-on, sit down and have some candy!" Then he handed her some Rare Candies.
"Thanks Spike.' Then she rushed to Spike's side, and hugged him hard.
"Hey. don't hug me so hard, I might upchuck a rainbow!"
" *Giggle!* Sorry Spike, I'm just so scared."
"Hey, I used to be a coward to, but Twilight would help me learn how to not be so scared when I was a toddler."
"I was a difficult time for me, my parents were always working, I spent my days with a babysitter, so I never had them to teach me how to not feel fear!"
"Aaaw, come here."
Then they hugged more.
"Thank you Spike for comforting me in my time of need."
"Hey, I'm always willing to help!"
"Hello Spike, I have arrived!"
"Oh, hey aunt Luna."
"Oh-my, what's this I'm seeing?"
"It's not like that, I was scared towards this area!"
"And now you're cuddling my nephew."
"Wh-what? Oh my apologies, I had no idea this was your nephew!"
"No need, I like you whoever you are."
"The name's Lily! I'm the biggest coward in Ponyville."
"I like you too Lily."
Then she blushed.
"(Wow, the scariest time of the year, and I'm spending it with royalty. I feel so lucky.)"
So they discussed things, and hanged out, had some star candy, and even made some wise crack about their own friends. Lily felt no more fear and appreciated the attention Spike was giving her.
"Well, this has been fun, but I must go now! I bid you all ado!" Then Luna left.
"So, want me to walk you home? I aint going home till the sun rises."
"No,let's sleep together, please!"
"Eh, why not stay there!"
Then Spike swept all of the wrappers into a trash can, and arranged the pillows into a bed for 2.
"Okay, I got everything set."
"Thank you Spike good night!"
"Good night Lily, thanks for keeping me company."
Then Lily & Spike went to sleep, only Lily waited till Spike was in a deep sleep.
"Thank you Spike for keeping me safe from fear!" Then she gently put her lips on his, you know like how Luna from Sailor Moon kissed that sleeping guy in the ice movie!
"Aaaaaaaaw, how sweet, now I'll just go get the next letter, because it seems they're still clopping and banging in their rooms!"
Meanwhile outside...
"So, this is the house Trahzo is hiding in!"
Then all of the subscribers jumped out of the ground like ninjas! Deezutra pulled his sword out of it's sheath.
"Charizard, Typhlosion, Blaziken, Infernape, Emboar, Delphox, ready for this?"
Then they all roared assuring him that they are ready!
"Good! Now let's go!"
Author's Note
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enJCw0sNaBI
Buneary: Gen 4
Rare Candy: Pokemon.
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
"With a chapter title like that, I think I know who's next, so let's see if my guess was right....Eeyup, Mulia Mild from the Mmmystery on the Friendship Express.
*Boom!*
"Whoa! I sense an intense fight between the subscribers and a powerful warrior! Begin the story while I watch the chaos!"
It was a starry night in Ponyville, and we pan the camera to a museum!
"Alright Mr.Bang Stick! Do you understand what to do?" Asked Mayor Mare.
"Yes, alls I gotta do, is sit here all night, and if I get tired, take a sip of this coffee so I don't fall asleep in case somepony tries to steal the diamond of Selective Elegy!
"Hmm...okay, good luck, and remember if you let anypony steal the the diamond, you're dead meat!"
Then after the Mayor left, Bang Stick fell asleep! Then a ninja mule snuck in then stole the diamond!
The Next Morning...
"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!"
"Wh-what?"
"Bang StiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"
Meanwhile...
"Ooh yes, another prize stolen by the Passionate Ninja! I didn't even have to use my blade! Muahahahahaha!"
"Hey shut-up!" Said the neighbor in the next apartment.
Then a knocking came to the door. Mulia Mild then opened the door to reveal Spike.
"Ready for your daily exercise?"
"Spike, you don't have to do this, I'm perfectly capable of doing things myself, I don't need a nurse, I can just tell them you helped me, and you can along with your day."
"No can do Mulia, I have ponies watching me, and I really want to do this. I gotta make it up to Ponyville somehow after my 2nd greed filled rampage!"
"Didn't everyone forgive you?"
"Yeah, but I felt like I got off to easily, that's why I'm doing this!"
" *Sigh!* Fine, come in, and help me with my stretches, then we can go to the park. (Hmph I'm sure touching the old skin of my naughty parts will scare him out!)"
So Spike unknowingly did many lewd things to Mulia's body.
"(Wow, this boy isn't freaking out! He's holding my hind legs up while not noticing that my head is so close to his...)"
"So Mulia Mild, did you hear that the Diamond of Selective Elegy was stolen?"
"Was it? That's horrible!" She replied while Spike was helping her do the splits!
"Yeah, I heard that it was The Passionate Ninja who stole the Diamond. To think that a very notorious thief would be here in Ponyville, a small town!" Spike said while trying to straighten her back by bear hugging her.
"Ooh, not so hard Spike!' That's what she said.
"Sorry Mulia, but the trainers told me that I gotta do it real hard!" Do it real hard, that's what he said.
"(Oh Celestia, what a man, he doesn't care that I'm old, that he's doing these touching me in so many places!) *Moan!* "
"Hmm?"
"Oh, what? Nothing!"
"Okay then! Now that the stretches are over, let's go outside!"
"No, I don't feel like going, but you can still help me!"
"Okay, what's next?"
"Massage me in my bedroom, there should be some lotion in the bathroom."
"Okay."
"(This ought to scare him outta here! Also, I better hide this diamond!)"
So she put the diamond under her pillow, she was going to put it in a safe, but Spike opened the door inconveniently!
"Hey Mulia, I got the lotion."
"Good, and now, start with my flank, then you can continue with my hooves (Run screaming in 3, 2, on...)" Then Spike got his claws on here flank.
"(Ooh, sweet Celestia! That feels good.)"
Mulia had to bite her lip to prevent herself from moaning.
"You okay Mulia?"
"Yes, don't worry!"
"Oh, alright, now I'll go back to bleck!" Spike was cut off by a pleasure filled Mulia!
"Please, you could help me a whole lot if you give it to me, and give it to me good!"
"Why not, you're still very graceful looking even though you're very old!"
Then the diamond fell out of the bed, and Spike picked it up.
"Hmm...so you're the one who stole it! Guess you'll have to be punished!"
Then they went under the sheets and I'm sorry for grossing you guys out if I did!
There was no-one paying attention because there was virtually no-one in the living room!
Meanwhile outside...
"Hello, Trixie here, thanks for joining us for this probably final volume in the Pimp Spike's Swag series, now let us witness the final battle between Trahzo & Deezutra!"
Deezutra blasted away all of the subscribers! Then Trahzo emerged from the roof! Deezutra tried to do a slash blast but his sword transformed into a microphone!
"What?"
Then a beat started playing from out of nowhere.
"You ready to do this?"
"Bring it!"
"Hold it, Trixie will be hosting this Epic Rap Battle!"
Author's Note
Sorry about this, but I really felt like featuring one old lady in this volume! So from the wise words of Nintendo's Satoru Iwata: "Please understand."
View Online
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
Ch.18.5: Epic Mlp Rap Battles! Deezutra Vs. Trahzo 2!
"Epic Mlp Oc Rap Battles! Shogun Deezutra Xargashio vs. Trahzo the Author of this story, begin!"
Deezutra:
"I've finally found you Trahzo!
Trahzo:
"You'll be doing nothing!
Junebug:
"Hey it's me Junebug,
Deezutra:
"Don't bring my wife into this!
*BOOM!*
Tyra:
"You wanna mess with Tyra?
Deezutra:
"You were beaten by toy promotions!
*Boom!*
Sugar:
"Oh, it's over for the Samurai!"
Spice:
"Go sit in the corner and cry"
Both:
"We're gonna give you a double dip of pain!
Deezutra:
"Silence Tweedle Dumb sisters,
*BOOM!*
Surprise:
"This isn't a party, but Surprise is still here!
Deezutra:
"So you say you're the OG Pinkie!
*Boom!*
Sassaflash:
"You never been sassed before meeting me!
Deezutra:
"Gosh I cannot tell you and Helia apart!
*Boom!*
Lyrock:
"Time to rock out!
Watermelody:
"This will be a dramatic win!
Mystery Mint:
"Your beat down is gonna be very cold,
Flower Child:
"We're the Shimmer Six,
Sweet Leaf:
"So go and fear our might!
Deezutra:
"Lyrock, you're a punk rock whore!
*Boom!*
Macareiner:
Yee-haw, Sweet Apple Acres biggest sister,
Then she looked at the audience and said "Eeyup!"
Deezutra:
"Do you know who are you even talking to?
*Boom!*
Ponytron:
"Time to go autotune!
Deezutra:
"Eww, you're such an ugly bitch!
*Boom!*
Surf:
"I'm gonna kick you to the roof!"
Turf:
"Then I'm gonna kick you back down with my hoof!"
Both:
"The samurai are all gone!
Deezutra:
"I'll bring the samurai back!
*Boom!*
Smarty Pants:
"I..."
Deezutra:
"Excuse me, you're a toy, so don't even talk!
Fluttermena:
"It's time for another killer Fluttershy!
Deezutra:
"Get away you knockoff!
*Boom!*
Mane Goodall:
"Are your Pokemon feeling fine?
Deezutra:
"Go have sex with Spike the dog!
*Boom!*
Lily:
"I..."
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Then Lily ran away screaming!
Mulia Mild:
"You don't wanna mess with this old gal!
Deezutra:
"I'm the best Samurai in Equestria,
*Boom!*
Trahzo:
"Ooh, I see you've taken all 20!
Then I jump off the roof!
Deezutra:
"Come-on, you could have had a great life!
We were about to attack each other until suddenly...
"STOP!"
"Princess Celestia?" They both froze, then looked to their left.
"Captain Deezutra, I have removed Trahzo from the wanted list!"
"What? Why?"
"He just shipped my darling son Spike with 100 girls, he deserves divine immunity as the Spike fan God!"
" *Sigh!* Yes Princess!" Then he turned his head to me. "Trahzo, if I see you make one mistake, you better say your prayers, but for now..." Then he held out his hand.
"Sweet, looks like we're now friends!" Then I gave him a hug. "See you later, and tell Zerena I said hi!"
Then everyone said their goodbyes and went their separate ways for now...once Season 5 has me obtain enough females for the 5th volume!
Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.4: The Final Showdown of Trahzo & Deezutra.
*Cough!* *Cough!*
"So, what's wrong with him doc?"
"He has a disease that's incurable, and will kill him!"
"What?" The mane 6 gasped.
"Oh Spiiiike! Captain Deezutra, do you have any magic that can save him?" Rarity pleaded.
"Yes, I do!"
"Well use it!"
"Okay, Doctor, open that window!"
Then after the doctor opened the window, Deezutra focused hard to allow his spell to take full effect!
"Love of 100 Miracle, go!" Then the mane 6 noticed that their hearts were glowing!
"Deezutra, what's going on?" Pinkie asked.
"This spell is a Miracle spell! It requires 100 females who are in love with the same guy to perform, and by looking at those glowing hearts of yours, I guess you're 6 out of the 100 out there! Just look at those lights flying into the window!"
Then the lights all poured into the room, and then cascaded onto Spike!
Lights of love from all over Equestria! While Spike was being cured, the females who saw what their hearts were doing, drove them to follow where the light was leading them to! Then after the lights stopped.
"Doctor, now go take another look at Spike!"
"...Gasp! He's all better!"
"Spike!" Then all 6 jumped at him, and gave him kisses!
"Well, guess he's all better now, and I will not charge you Princess Twilight, now have a good day!"
Then as they exited the hospital...I recommend playing the Nyan Koi opening or the Cat Planet Cuties theme for this next scene in the background...
"Hi Spike, we love you!" Said the 94 female characters standing before Spike.
"Wait! I have a great idea!" Deezutra blurted out.
"What would that be darling?" Asked Rarity.
Later...
"Okay everyone, smile!" Then he took the picture of Spike and his harem of 100!
The End!
Meanwhile in another world...
"Yes, we have all I need to bring back Fleur! Thank you for helping me with this Xeenam, I promise to pay..." Then Fancy Pants was stabbed in the back!
"Foolish Fancy Pants, I only did this so you can help me with my plan to bring back the Queen of Infinite Suffering!"
"Y..you..traitor!"
"Yeah, but hey, I never cared about your mission to revive your dead wife in the 1st place! I did say I'd have you 2 reunite, but then again, that had a double meaning!"
Then Fancy Pants died in a puddle of his own blood!
"Alright, now I can bring back my Queen, and with her power, I can finally kill Shogun Deezutra, and turn this world into a haven for demons!"
Then the screen faded to black.
To be continued in War of the 100 Ships!