Rhymes that Bind

Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle were walking down the road, headed to the clubhouse. "Did'ja see how pleased Twilight was with how mah potion-makin' skills have improved?" Apple Bloom said excitedly. Her friends nodded in agreement. "Later this week Ah'm gonna go get some more reagents from Zecora an' then—"

"Zecora? Don't tell me you're actually friends with that monster!" Diamond Tiara popped out from behind a bush with Silver Spoon in tow.

Apple Bloom gave Diamond Tiara the stink eye as she drawled, "Zecora's not a monster, she's a zebra. Are you really that much of a slowpoke that you—"

"I heard zebras are immortal," Silver Spoon interrupted, "and you can only kill them by tricking them into ending a stanza with one of the words that have no rhyme." The Cutie Mark Crusaders were stunned speechless. "Yeah, I'm surprised Zecora can even bring herself to be around a purple-maned orange filly like Scootaloo, since she's basically a walking deathtrap. Lucky for me I'm silver, so if she ever corners me I can just say, 'What color am I?' And Zecora would go, 'Silver...oh no!' And then KA-BEWM she bursts into flame!" Silver Spoon jumped into the air as she mimed a pony exploding.

The flabbergasted trio just stared in awe at Silver Spoon. "That-...that's not true!" Apple Bloom stuttered.

"Well you don't have to take our word for it, since you're friends with her you can just go ask her yourself," Diamond Tiara smirked, chuckling with her friend as the two walked away.

Back at the clubhouse, the three fillies had one thought on their minds: Could it be true?

"I think Diamond Tiara lied to us," Apple Bloom spoke up. The other two crusaders nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I mean lots of words rhyme with purple," Scootaloo scoffed nonchalantly.

"What? Name one!" Sweetie Belle shot back, eyebrow raised incredulously.

Scootaloo scratched her neck, unprepared to have her statement challenged. "Er well, I can name a whole bunch! Like blurple, kerple, herple, derple, gerple, lerple—"

"Now you're just making sounds," Sweetie Belle interjected, scrunching her brow.

"Fine, if you're so smart, rhyme 'silver' for us," Scootaloo said, gesticulating wildly.

Sweetie Belle cleared her throat and said, "Chilver." A moment of silence followed, and as Scootaloo was in the process of opening her mouth Sweetie Belle continued, "A female lamb. No I am not a dictionary, but I knew you'd ask and you can look it up if you don't believe me."

Scootaloo squinted at her white friend and slowly got up, walking over to the sparse bookshelf where they kept all their comics, coloring books, reference guides and one severely worn and weather-beaten dictionary. As she started paging through the tome, Apple Bloom asked, "Well, so what about orange?"

"Splange?" Sweetie Belle suggested. Apple Bloom frowned and shook her head. They sat in quiet contemplation, seconds turning into minutes. Scootaloo eventually rejoined them, having found the word she was looking for to her dismay.

"We're gonna have to ask Twilight on this one, girls," Apple Bloom finally sighed.

Arriving at the library, the Cutie Mark Crusaders found it was closed for renovation, so they left and went to Princess Twilight Sparkle's Friendship Castle™ (from $29.99) instead.

As they were leaving, Scootaloo paused to carve an inscription onto the side of the burnt down tree/library:

† Rest in pepperonis Golden Oak Library 5/10/14 nvr 4gt †

Arriving at Princess Twilight Sparkle's Friendship Castle,™ Twilight was standing outside supervising the delivery of a sofa from Davenport's Quills and Sofas emporium. "Hey girls," she greeted them warmly.

"Ohh, what an awesome sofa Twilight!" Scootaloo gasped excitedly, running up and jumping onto the cushions. The ponies from the moving company were none too pleased at that, nor when Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom ran up and jumped aboard as well.

"Now girls, get down from there and let them do their job," Twilight gently chided. "If you come inside I'm sure Spike could be persuaded to make you some of his famous nachos." The enticement of a treat did the trick, and soon the fillies were gathered around a table in Twilight's sparsely-furnished castle, enjoying piping hot Tex-Mex-Equex fare.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Our scheduled Twilight Time isn't for another few days if memory serves," Twilight mused, levitating a nacho laden with jalapeños.

In between bites, Apple Bloom gave Twilight the rundown, explaining that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had run their mouths again and made up some dumb story about Zecora that rubbed them the wrong way. "...An' that's why we wanted to come to you an' see if you *urp* knew if what they said was true or not. Pardon."

"Hmm," -Twilight rubbed her chin with the tip of her wing thoughtfully,- "I'm sorry girls but I'm afraid offhand I don't know for certain whether zebras are unable to stop themselves from speaking in rhyme. Very few books exist on the topic of zebra culture and norms, and what books there are tend to contain a lot of bad information. I'm awaiting a large shipment of books from Canterlot that might have the answers you're looking for, if you can wait a couple weeks."

"A couple weeks?!" all three fillies shouted at the same time.

"Well, you could get it straight from the zebra's mouth and ask Zecora herself if you—"

"Thanks Twilight!"
"Will do, Twilight!"
"Thanks Twi', an' Spike!"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran out the door in a flurry of dust and pico de gallo, leaving Twilight alone as she finished her thought, "—want...to?"

Trekking through the Everfree Forest, Sweetie Belle looked around and commented, "Hmm, place sure seems a lot less scary than the last time we were here."

"Yeah, maybe the Tree of Harmony is working overtime lately," Scootaloo added.

"Shh, I think I see Zecora's hut up ahead!" Apple Bloom shushed them.

"Why 'shh?' We aren't sneaking up on Zecora, are we?" Scootaloo asked.
"Yeah, I thought she was our friend," Sweetie Belle piped up.

"Just in case," -Apple Bloom explained in a hushed tone,- "and remember yer 'safewords' girls."

As they stepped into the clearing, Scootaloo strode up to the door and knocked loudly.

"So much for the element of surprise," Apple Bloom mumbled.
"Is that one of the Elements of Harmony? Ooh, can I be the Element-Bearer of Surprise?" Sweetie squeaked excitedly.

"Ah, if it isn't Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. I hope this day finds you all well," Zecora beamed as she answered the door. "Please come in, make yourselves at home. I have fresh berries and honey comb."

"Er, no thanks, we just ate, an' this isn't rightly a social visit..." Apple Bloom spoke hesitantly. She repeated her tale of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon calling Zecora a monster, and of how the three of them balked when told that zebras could only be killed by uttering words that didn't rhyme. She went on to say that they'd visited with Twilight and had been told to just ask directly, and that's what brought them here.

Zecora listened patiently, her expression darkening the longer Apple Bloom talked. "You tell of words that destroy zebras, I see. And you thought to try them out on me?"

Apple Bloom looked aghast at the accusation. "Oh no Zecora, we didn't mean any harm! We just—"

"Ohohohoho," Zecora laughed loud and hard, dropping the angry façade. "Don't worry yourselves, for I simply jest. I know the goodness of your hearts, I must profess." Apple Bloom let out a sigh and wiped her brow, becoming markedly relieved to hear Zecora bode no ill will.

"If knowledge of zebras is what you seek, then perhaps I can show you I am no freak. It's true those words have been forbidden, but the reason behind the rule is long hidden. Shrouded in mystery is our strange proclivity, but it does not obscure some malign quality. A story my granny used to recount, told the tale of the King on the Mount...

"He hated the zebra kind with a passion, and cursed our flanks with stripes turned ashen. But the zebra folk did not object, in fact they found it quite perfect. So he tried another magic spell, plaguing the tribe with swarms of flies as well. But the zebra rejoiced light-heartedly, as the flies avoided our stripes quite unexpectedly.

"Finally, he tried an incantation, affecting in us this poetic fixation. But the zebras found this too to their liking, and all raised their voice and began to sing. The King of the Mount, his hexes depleted, resigned himself, soundly defeated."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders reflected on Zecora's tale, until Scootaloo's restraint eventually broke down and she asked, "So, zebras aren't monsters?"

"No, my little filly, that allegation was and is quite silly," Zecora smiled.

"So, you don't really hafta rhyme, you just enjoy doin' it, as part of yer heritage," Apple Bloom slowly reasoned.

"Tis true when young we all are taught, which words to say and which to not. But words have no power over us, unless we choose to make a fuss. Then it is a crime of choice, when zebras and ponies give up their voice," Zecora intoned solemnly.

"And saying the forbidden words won't make you burst into flame?" Sweetie Belle chirped quizzically.

"Not at all! Purple, silver, orange," Zecora said, dropping her usual rhyming scheme. The Cutie Mark Crusaders stared intently at the zebra, waiting with bated breath to see what would happen. Zecora let out a rich, hearty giggle and continued, "See? Nothing bad happened."

And then Zecora exploded.

The End