The Witcher Pony

by Vilwind

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash, Other, Big Macintosh, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 3651

Big Mac had really bad day. Bad enough to hire a Witcher pony.

Every stallion in his life should do few things. Build a house. Plant a tree. Sire a son. Hire a Witcher.

Big Mac had really bad day. Bad enough to hire a Witcher pony.

What is a Witcher pony you might ask.
Its not what they are ... its what they do that requires explanation.
What they do?
They kill monsters.

Published 2014-07-09 23:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-14 16:23:03 UTC

Law of Surprise.

Law of Surprise

This was not a lucky day for Big Mac. To be honest it sucked. A lot. It was supposed to be a nice day.

Applebucking this season was over quickly thanks, to Applejack friends help, and it was still too early for zap apple harvest. Big Mac had more free time on his hooves then he liked. When Applejack asked him to deliver a cart full of Granny Smith baked goodies to one of their customers, he didn't object. Normally it was Applejack responsibility to sell and deliver farm goods, but Big Mac stepped in to help his sister whenever he could, moreover he know that she would spend this time helping her friends in one of their adventures or just have some quality time with them. Organizing things so his sister could spend some free time with them was the least he could do, after they helped so much during the Applebucking.

Big Mac knew of dangers that come alongside those deliveries. Some ponies lived in most bizarre places and dragging a cart full of baked goodies to them was not a stroll in the park. This however was not supposed to be one of those deliveries. His trek led him through hills and fields bathed in radiant light of the sun. Between him and his destination there were no big and scary forest filled with pony eating monsters. The only "dangerous" part would be crossing the Ghastly Gore.

Oh ok, Ghastly Gore was a dangerous place no doubt about it, but there were bridges build across it, a road lead around it so there were plenty of ways to avoid the dangerous slopes. Big Mac had options.

He could go through the train bridge that crossed the Gore. It was a very solid bridge made out of steel, so it could support heavy trains that run between Ponyville, Appleloosa and Dodge Junction. That wasn't a bad idea but it would extend his journey for two to three hours. Of course he could just take the road around the Gore but that would take even more time.

There was a third option. You might even call it a family secret. There was a second bridge across the Gore, bridge build by Big Mac grandfather him self ( according to Granny Smith). It wasn't a fancy - shmansy steal bridge. It didn't need to be. His grandfather build this rope bridge so he wouldn't need to waits time going around the Gore, long time ago before ponies invented trains. Now some ponies could argue that a rope bridge that old is not safe and to be honest Big Mac had his concerns when Granny Smith first showed it to him. That day he learned another family secret: "Earth ponies build to last."

After a very short consideration Big Mac decided to use his grandfathers rope bridge. Unfortunately for Big Mac there is a set of rules that trumps even the mighty proverb ( and magic that goes along with it).

This set of rules is called "Murphy's Law".

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

The ancient rope bridge of forefathers did not withstood the test of time and collapsed under the combined weight of red stallion and his cart of baked goodies. Fortunately for Big Mac his forefather foresaw this kind of scenario and build his bridge in the part of the gorge where a pony could land relatively safe. The key world here is relatively.

After a short moment when Big Mac pretended to be a pegasi, he was reunited with the earth. Unfortunately reunion proved to be to much for our brave "flyer", and he lost consciousness.

When Big Mac finally regained his consciousness the brightness of Celestia's sun was long gone replaced by dim glow of the Luna's moon. To be honest Big Mac was a bit scared for a second after he opened his eyes. He couldn't see anything. The slopes casted long shadows across the gore preventing even the little light, that the moon gave, from entering. Only after he gazed directly above him and saw the stars his fear left him.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he started to evaluate state of his own body. Lots of bruises, but no broken bones and no cuts. He wasn't bleeding, at least externally.

Concussion? Maybe.

Pain? Yes, but nothing he didn't experience before or couldn't handle.

His meditation was suddenly interrupted by a sound of something moving near by. He turned him self in that direction but couldn't see anything through the shadows. But what he couldn't see he could smell. Odor that strong could belong only to one creature. Timberwolves.

Big Mac shook his head and cooled his nerve. His eyes were still adjusting to the night but he could see shapes. There were no glowing eyes pointed at him nor could he see any movement. He perked his ears. He could hear only faint noises coming from direction of what looked like the remnants of his wagon.

Normally even a pack of Timberwolves presented no threat to a stallion like Big Mac. "Normally" being in bright day light, on an open field. Here in confines of a narrow ravine, odds were not on Big Mac favor.

This is why the red stallion decided that picking a fight over a damaged cart was not a best idea and, taking advantage of the fact that apparently he wasn't spotted by the vicious forest predator, he started to back away.

His very logical and well laid plan was again attacked and brutally beaten by "Murphy's Law".

Big Mac hind leg nudged a pebble and removed it from under a bit larger pebble which supported a slightly larger stone ... A chain reaction occurred and a mini avalanche assaulted Big Mac from behind. Before he could react his legs were stuck under a thick layer of small stones. This entire scene didn't went unnoticed.

To Big Mac horror from behind the remnants of his wagon, head of a very surprised Timberwolf peaked up.

This was not a lucky day for Big Mac. On the other hoof the Timberwolf had expression of a filly that just discovered that Hearth's Warming Eve came earlier this year.

With one swift move the Timberwolf jumped upon the wreckage of the wagon and howled. After a second more then dozen howls answered. Some were distant some where close, but all indicated one thing the pack has been summoned.

Big Mac gulped. This was worst scenario possible. Not only was the entire pack of Timberwolves on the hunt for him now, he was immobilized.

Freeing him self from under rocks would be relatively easy if not for the fact that now his attention had to be directed unto the Timberwolf. The Timberwolf didn't attack, he just watched and evaluated from witch angle an attack has lesser chance to be parried or counter struck by red stallions massive hooves. He waited for the rest of the pack.

Time was not on Big Mac side. Staying here and fighting entire pack of magical-self-regenerative timber monsters was not a good option. Only chance he had now was to try and out run them. To do that he had to free him self from under those rocks. That required him to use his front hooves which opened him to any attack.

He had to risk it.

Unfortunately for Big Mac this Timberwolf was relatively smarter than his fellow "stumps". He saw the opening and attacked with ferociousness and speed that surprised Big Mac.

The red stallion saw the attack, but could not move in time to block it with his hooves. With horror he saw the jaws of the predator opening in front of his face, aiming for the throat.

To Big Mac surprise the killing blow didn't occur. In front of his eyes the Timberwolf head was struck by a large stone and shattered onto small bits of wood. Red stallion was struck by peaces of wood that moved still with impetus, but the magic that binded the beast was gone... temporarily.

In the silence that followed the demise of the Timberwolf, Big Mac heard slow and rhythmical trot. He assumed that whoever was coming was also responsible for the sudden but very well timed destruction of the Timberwolf.

Big Mac strained his eyes to see who was his rescuer. Although his vision have already adjusted to surrounding darkness he still had problems with seeing more then vague contours of approaching pony. At the moment Big Mac could see only that whoever rescued him was a stallion and most probably a Earth Pony.

The pony stopped near the ruined wagon and looked up, where he saw what was left of the rope bridge.

"You had a bad day, big guy?" Asked the pony.

"Eeyep."

After this short introduction and assessment of the situation the pony continued his trot towards Big Mac. Meanwhile Big Mac struggled to free him self from under the rocks that immobilized his hind legs.

Big Mac managed to free him self from under the rocks relatively quick, and turned around to face and thank the pony that helped him in his hour of need. He looked upon his rescuer and ... voice died in his throat.

Pony that stood in front of Big Mac was indeed a grayish Earth Pony, but at the same time he wasn't. First indicators were the eyes. Eyes that could belong to a cat or a reptile. Vertical pupils that faintly glowed in the darkness. Second were the scars. His torso and legs had more scars then a living creature was allowed to have. His face was marked by a deep vertical scar that run from his cheek up, until it meet his white mane. His mane was white, not silvery white but this kind of sickly color you can achieve only by total lack of pigment.

Big Mac considered him self to be relatively brave, and in control of his emotions. Thats why he managed to silence all instincts that yell at him, to run or/and scream like a little filly.

For few seconds both stallions looked at each other. Finally the grayish stallion spoke.

"This Timberwolf," he poked a small peace of wood at his hooves," managed to alert the whole pack of your presence. They are coming as we speak. Are you able to out run them?"

Big Mac considered this for a second. Speed was never his strongest feature. Work that he specialized in, required from him strength and endurance not speed. His body hurt and years of practice on the farm taught him to assess his strength properly.

"Nnope."

The grayish pony taxed Big Mac from top of his mane to the bottom of his hooves.

"Do you know who I'm?" He asked.

"Nnope."

"I'm a Witcher."

Big Mac looked at him surprised, and blinked. Is that supposed to mean something?

"Do you know what a Witcher is?" The grayish stallion continued.

"Nnope."

"Witcher's are monster hunters ... for hire."

Big Mac blinked again. Monster hunters for hire. Ain't that convenient.

"Are you interested in rendering my services?"

"Eeyep."

"Can you afford two thousand bid fee?"

Big Mac blinked... twice. Two thousand gold bits!

"Nnope."

Somewhere in the distance pack of Timberwolves howled. Their were on the hunt.

The Witcher pony sighed and chewed a curse.

"I don't work without a payment, thats a Witchers rule.... but there is an exception. Do you know what law of surprise, is?"

"Nnope."

"I can forgo your payment for services rendered, if you will grant me whatever unexpected thing you encounter when you return home. Do you agree on those conditions."

Whatever unexpected thing I encounter when I return home. is very unorthodox payment. It can be anything. Big Mac considered this proposition for a while.

"Eeyep."

The Witcher pony looked at Big Mac again and there was sadness in his eyes.

"Ok. Lets go. Stick close to me.'

Both stallions went into the shadows and darkness of the gore. Where fangs and claws, where death awaited them.

Author's Note

Welcome dear reader. Thank you for spending your time with me and my story.

This Witcher crossover is not based (entirely) on the game. As you might have guessed I'm Polish and both Witcher Saga and MLP have a very special place in my heart. For a long time I waited for a good ( or decent) Witcher / MLP crossover. Unfortunately none came. So finally I decided to create my own story that combined both worlds.

Sadly my ability to express my self in English is somewhat ... a hell... I know my grammar sucks so does my spelling. Therefore any constructive criticism and help with editing are welcome.

Big Bad 'Timber' Wolf.

Big Bad 'Timber' Wolf.

"I have such big eyes, to better see you with," growled the Big Bad Wolf resolutely. "I have such big claws to better grab you and embrace you! With me everything is big, I will thoroughly convince you of that soon. Why are you looking at me so strangely, my little pony? Why don't you answer?"

"I have a surprise for you." The Witcher smiled.

Pony Tales and Folk Stories

Rainbow Dash wasn't a happy pony. Not right now, anyway. While her friends were having fun at Twilights first official "New Castle/Library slumber party", she was stuck on Night Weather Patrol duty. She tried to wriggle her self out of it but unfortunately there was no way around it. She couldn't find or force somepony else to replace her. Every pony who was responsible enough to perform this task had better excuses then 'I want to go and party all night with my friends', to bail this night from the patrol duty. Derpy Hooves volunteered, but Dash decided that a night of good fun was not worth the risk of a tornado devouring the town in the morning. Not that the Night Weather Patrol was a difficult task. The night patrol was needed only in short time of Zapp Apple harvest. During this time of year winds and clouds from the Everfree were dangerously close to Ponyville. The Weather Teams decided long time ago that during this period weather has to be monitored constantly to ensure that the weather anomalies were limited only to Sweet Apple Acres. Even at night time. Thous the Night Weather Patrol come to being.

The Night Weather Patrol duty was "The Worst Thing" that could happen to Rainbow Dash. It was booooring, dull, uneventful, opposite of awesome but at the same time it was necessary and she know it. Rainbow Dash wasn't a drama queen, like certain marshmallow pony, she know what her duty trumps 'Pinkie Pie fueled party'.

Still she decided to perform 'the patrol' outside Ponyville. This way she could safeguard the town better and... would be less exposed to the sounds of awesome party that the rest of girls were having.

"I hope the Zapp Apple harvest comes faster this year" mumbled Rainbow Dash to herself as she made tenth lap around the outskirts of Ponyville. As if on queue she heard a thunderous roar.

Rainbow Dash know that the first sign of Zapp Apple harvest was Timberwolves howling. You cant consider your self a Ponyville citizen without hearing it at least once. Rainbow Dash know it so good that her imitation of it was just awesome . Thats why she know that this was no simple Timberwolf howling to the moon. This was a roar of a predator on the hunt. What was more worrisome was that this roar didn't come from the Everfree.

Without thinking on the consequences Rainbow Dash rushed in the direction where the roar came from. She was on a 'patrol' after all. Her job was to prevent "Everfree anomalies" from "disrupting peaceful lives of Ponyville citizens". So theoretically her action was justified. She was still patrolling. Don't argue with Rainbow Dash logic.

After Rainbow Dash flew over Sweet Apple Acres, she slowed down her speed. She was best flyer in Equestria but she knew her limitations. Although the sky above her was clear and both stars and moon give some light, missing somepony from up above was certainly a possibility.

She heard a roar again that assured her that she was going in the right direction, although that roar sounded differently. Rainbow Dash never heard a Timberwolf to give a roar of pain, but if it did it would sound just like this.

Finally she spotted two ponies running over a hill. Despite the large distance and dim glow of the moon, Rainbow Dash could recognize one of them as Big Mac. There was no mare in twenty mile radius of Ponyville that would not recognize Big Mac.

Big Mac and his companion halted their gallop on top of the hill. Rainbow Dash would only suspect that they started to argue. She of course doubled her speed to close the distance between them as fast as she could.

She didn't beat the half way to them when she noticed that Big Mac started running down the hill in her direction, leaving his companion on the top of the hill alone. What was even more wared was that the hill next to them started to grow. Rainbow Dash blinked not believing her own eyes. The hill assembled it self growing larger and larger. After a few second, enormous Timberwolf stood atop of the hill next to Big Mac companion.

Rainbow Dash header from Spike and Applejack about King Timberwolf encounter, but she never seen one. this wooden abomination was ten times bigger then the pony that stood in front of it. When it finally roared the force of the sound wave almost knocked Rainbow Dash from the sky.

Rainbow Dash didn't blame Big Mac from bailing out. The beast was huge and best action against creatures like those was to out run them. Thats why she was surprised to see the that brave but definitely stupid pony on the top of the hill, didn't started to run with Big Mac, but he attacked the big scary wooden wolf.

At first Rainbow Dash wanted to ask Big Mac what was going on, but now she decided to fly directly towards the top of the hill and save that crazy pony, from certain death. She estimated that she will be in range to swoop in and pull him out of danger in a minute or less. She didn't had altitude necessary to perform Sonic Rainboom. None the less she soared the night sky with all the speed she could muster.

As her body gained speed her senses heightened and tunneled on the task that was in front of her. Her vision locked on the pony that was fighting the King Timberwolf. Fighting and ... winning?

Whatever this pony was doing his attack were causing pain to the King Timberwolf. One of the giant wooden legs of the monster simply blow up, staggering the beast for a second before the leg reassembled it self. That however left an opening and with simply impossible speed the pony run up the other leg of the Timberwolf and attack the neck of the monster. It almost took the beast down. Rainbow Dash couldn't see exactly what that pony did but two thirds of the wood that created beast neck simply stopped being attached to the Timberwolf and fall on the ground. The pony didn't stop on that and bucked the monster in the jaw with impetus that pushed him away from the beast. With a backflip and somersault he landed in front of the King Timberwolf.

This whole action took less then ten seconds flat. Who ever this guy is he is almost as awesome as I'm. Almost.

The Timberwolf however was less impressed and attacked even before his neck reassembled it self. To Rainbow Dash surprise the giant beast moved quicker then she expected it to be able too. Its claws swiped everything in front of him with speed and force that made a swooshing sound but the pony wasn't there any more.

With a powerful jump the brave but crazy pony dodged Timberwolf claws and simultaneously attacked again. Unfortunately for him the King Timberwolf saw this attack.

The time slowed for Rainbow Dash as she closed the distance. Against the background of the moon she could see both combatants clearly now. The King Timberwolf with open jaw prepared to snatch the pony in mid air as he descends upon the monster. The brave pony him self, his face showing determination and concentration on the fight, with one hoof straightened in attack pose, a sword levitating in front of him, and second hoof hiding something that looked like a cracker.

Rainbow Dash knew she will not gonna make it in time.

She could see the pony perfectly flying right into the jaw of King Timberwolf and said jaw slowly closing it self behind him.

And thats when the unexpected happen as the weakened by the previous attack jaw simply broke under the sheer force of the impact with the pony. The brave pony fell down with the wooden debris and again landed with perfect backflip and somersault.

King Timberwolf blinked surprised, and thats when his head exploded showering every thing with wooden debris. His enormous body shattered and disintegrated into an avalanche of wood and timber, and the brave pony that just slew a mighty beast was right in the way of all of it.

He was probably making peace with his maker when Rainbow Dash unceremoniously grabbed him and pulled up into the stray sky.

As she soured into the moon she looked down straight into his eyes. Some how the vertical pupils were no surprise to her after witnessing that fight.

"You are one CRAZY pony!"