Flirting is Too Much Treble
Octavia impatiently tapped her hoof against the soft grass with the consistency of a metronome. The dew-laden ground had been stomped down with a lasting imprint of her hoof, a feat that had taken twenty minutes to accomplish.
For maybe the hundredth time she looked around, hoping to Celestia that her student would be arriving soon. Her silent prayer went unanswered; there was no sign of Derpy Hooves anywhere.
Octavia sighed unenthusiastically, certain that the klutzy mare had forgotten their appointment; an appointment that Derpy had fought so hard to make.
It left her befuddled and perplexed as to why Derpy wanted to take up cello playing in the first place. There was no logic for a mail mare with a Cutie Mark of bubbles to even think about attempting to play such a refined instrument. Unfortunately, the word logic meant nothing to Derpy Hooves. The wall-eyed mare had pestered Octavia relentlessly over the past week for a private cello lesson.
At first she had been adamant, telling her friend no. Upon receiving this answer, the mailmare asked again and again, undauntedly wearing her down. Eventually, Octavia had to give in, and agreed to give Derpy one lesson in the art of cello playing.
“A private lesson,” Derpy had stressed. “It has to be private… please.”
Octavia hurrumphed loudly. Their meeting place was a secluded clearing at Ponyville’s lake, far from the main walking path and anypony else. A meeting place that Derpy had given to Octavia, specifying that she should tell no pony else about it.
It doesn’t get more private than this, she thought to herself.
Thoroughly bored with tapping her hoof, Octavia reclined from her current sitting position so her back was resting against her closed cello case. Being so far off the main path with no sounds, save the innocent mating call of the blue jay in the tree not far from her, was actually fairly relaxing. Feeling a tad daring, Octavia brought her forelegs behind herself and rested her head on them.
Wow… this is fairly comfortable, Octavia realized. She took a long breath of the fresh morning air. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Derpy doesn’t show up. I could lie here like this all day. Why, I might even loosen my bowtie.
Her lax attitude shattered as a mare burst through the bushes, carrying on her back a large instrument case. She was breathing heavily and her face was beat red from exhaustion
“I’m here,” Derpy panted, sweat pouring down her face. “Sorry. I'm so sorry for being late.”
“I should hope you are,” Octavia scolded, reseting her posture to its original posh nature. “I’ve been waiting for nearly half an hour.”
“Oh geeze, I’m such a featherbrain. I’m sorry Octavia, I really am. I understand if you don’t want to teach me anymore.” Derpy dropped onto the ground, teary-eyed, shrugging off her cello case with a thud.
Octavia immediately felt guilty for attempting to make her friend feel guilty. Looking into the sad, out of sync puppy dog eyes of the gray pegasus wasn't going to alleviate said guilt. “Don’t worry Derpy, I’ll still teach you.”
“You will?” Derpy asked, perking up.
“Of course I will,” Octavia assured her. “I said I would, and I’m a mare of my word.”
“Thanks Octavia.” Derpy glanced around suddenly. “Y-you didn’t tell anypony about this place… did you?”
“No of course not. You asked me not to. Uh… why exactly did you ask me not to again?”
“I just really wanted to keep the cello lesson private,” Derpy said. “As in, just the two of us. You and me... together... alone… in private.” Her cheeks were flushed red. Octavia assumed it was still from exasperation.
“Right,” she replied slowly. “About the lesson…” Derpy glanced quizzically at her. “Why exactly do you want to play the cello? No offense, but this almost seems like it’s coming out of no where.”
“Oh, well… uh… I…” Derpy stumbled over her answer. If Octavia hadn’t known any better, she would’ve thought her friend hadn’t been prepared to answer that question. “I’ve had this old cello for years in my attic and I figured learning how to play it was better than just doing nothing with it.”
Octavia shrugged, content with this answer.
She reached over and unlatched her cello case, the silver locks making a small clinking sound as she did so. The lid flew open, and the smell of polished spruce hit Octavia’s nose. She breathed it in happily, and patted her instrument with care.
Seeing this action Derpy also reached for her own cello and unlatched it. Octavia glanced over as Derpy revealed her cello. It was finely crafted, and obviously well cared for in its early years. Derpy was serious about learning after all. The gray pegasus reached to take out her instrument.
“Not so fast,” Octavia said. Derpy’s hoof froze. “I need to tell you the basics first before you jump right in.”
“Oh, okay,” said Derpy. She sat herself down on the ground like foals in kindergarten usually did. Her gaze locked onto Octavia, one eye looking right at her, the other… more or less.
“All right then,” Octavia began. “The cello has four strings: A, D, G, and C…”
Derpy tried really hard to pay attention to Octavia’s lecture… but she was just so darn adorable that concentration was made impossible.
Derpy had been hopelessly in love with Octavia for almost a year now. The two had met three days following the Summer Sun Celebration. Octavia had come to the post office with a complaint about receiving somepony else’s mail. Derpy happened to be on duty that day, and had been infatuated with the cellist’s beauty on the spot.
Circumstance forced Derpy to run into Octavia over the next few weeks. Each time they’d managed a conversation, and before long they formed an acquaintanceship of sorts. Derpy was the one who took it a step further. She began taking other mailmare’s routes to stop by Octavia’s house, and sometimes purposely made errors so Octavia had to come into the post office to get them resolved.
About a month ago, Derpy had let knowledge of her crush slip out to her gossipy friend Carrot Top. The result was embarrassing, as practically overnight ponies found out about her crush.
Now, everypony at the post office knew it. As did the entire Weather Team. And all the girls down at Sugar Cube Corner. And pretty much the entire town. In fact, Derpy had found her crush to be blazoned to everypony from here to Canterlot, but there was still one pony who had no idea of Derpy's affections... and she was standing right in front of her.
For some inexplicable reason, Octavia Melody was simply oblivious to Derpy's crush. Despite her many attempts to work up the nerve to tell Octavia the truth, Derpy had always chickened out, but now was different. She had orchestrated this cello lesson to be the perfect opportunity to flirt with Octavia. If she could just see one sign that her friend might return her feelings, Derpy knew she'd have the courage to admit them.
For now though, she had zoned out, merely drinking in the raw beauty that was Octavia.
Her flowing black mane waved elegantly in the mid-morning breeze, and her purple eyes were so sparkly that Derpy got lost in them on at least two occasions. Eventually, one of her eyes came to rest on Octavia’s lips.
They sent a shiver down Derpy’s spine as she couldn’t stop fantasizing about kissing them. She could picture it now, she’d rush forward and take Octavia in a loving embrace, their eyes would meet and they’d stare into other’s gaze, hypnotizing each other slowly. Then Derpy would caress Octavia’s cheek ever so sensually with her fetlock before they would finally move to passionately kiss.
The power of her fantasy was so mesmerizing that Derpy slowly began to act it out in real life. Her eyes fluttered closed, and slowly she began to lean in. Her mouth puckered outward ever so slightly as her body shifted forward. She was going to do it; she was really going to kiss Octavia.
“Derpy?”
Her eyes snapped open, shock sending a jolt through her entire body. She flung herself backwards, landing her plot on the soft grass with a loud and reverberating, “Eep!”
Octavia was standing right in front of her, hooves crossed, and face scrunched up in annoyance.
Oh no, I blew it! Derpy realized with a start. What was I thinking, trying to kiss her like that? She doesn’t want to be my marefriend now; she never did. Just look at her, she hates me now! Oh, gosh darnit Derpy, why do you have to be such a pathetic featherbrain?
“I guess you were too busy sleeping to pay attention to my lesson then,” Octavia said crossly.
Sleeping? Derpy thought for a second. She internally gasped with relief. She didn’t realize I was trying to kiss her! This is great, I get a do-over! In the midst of her celebration, Derpy realized Octavia was talking to her.
“Oh, uh… I’m sorry,” Derpy said.
“I guess learning how to play the cello is just too boring for you,” Octavia said, clearly upset.
“No, it isn’t. I swear I was paying attention,” Derpy claimed, attempting to do damage control.
“Oh really?” Octavia dubiously asked, leaning in. “Then tell me… how many notes are in an octave?”
“Uhh… uh…” Both of Derpy’s eyes darted around in random, awkward directions as she struggled to think of an answer. “Eight?” She finally whispered, unsure.
Octavia narrowed her eyes, convincing Derpy that she was hopelessly wrong. “Lucky guess,” the gray mare breathed slowly. She turned away, allowing Derpy to sigh with relief.
“Well, since you were clearly paying attention when I was going over the basics, let's go ahead and get started.” Octavia said. “Grab your bow, and we'll start by tuning your instrument.”
She turned back to her own cello, picking it up out of the case. Derpy mirrored the action. As she bent down to pick up her bow, she got a brilliant idea.
Time to begin flirting.
With a flick of her hoof, the bow landed in the tall grass behind her case.
“Whoops,” Derpy called out, getting Octavia’s attention. “Dropped my bow. Guess I better grab it.”
“That would be wise,” Octavia commented.
Grinning wickedly, the gray pegasus bent down and arched her plot high up into the air as she began to grapple for her bow. She let it hang there, certain Octavia would be staring at her flank. She’d let the other mare get a good look in, before she’d turn around suddenly, and drop a clever line like:
“Do you like what you see?”
That’s perfect! Derpy thought eagerly to herself. Then she’ll totally blush, and I’ll giggle, and then I’ll be able to confess my feelings for her. She paused for just one more second before quickly turning around.
“Do-” she cut herself off there.
Octavia wasn’t looking at her plot. She wasn’t even close. That beautiful mare was engrossed with her cello, adjusting the little knobs at the top for whatever reason.
Angrily, Derpy swished her plot in the air a few times, her tail waving around seductively.
Nothing.
Not even a single glance.
Darn it, she berated herself.
“Did you find your bow yet?” Octavia asked, not even looking in her direction.
Derpy sighed. “Yeah, I got it.” She hastily scooped up the bow, and stood back up, disheartened at her plan’s unraveling.
I’m not beat yet, she consoled herself. There’s still an entire cello lesson to go.
Wiping away her disappointment, Derpy did her best to mimic Octavia’s cello playing stance. It was surprisingly difficult, and she found herself wobbling. Her teacher raised her eyebrow.
“You okay, Derpy?” Octavia asked.
"I'm fine," she declared, struggling to stay on her hooves now. Her forelegs flailed wildly in the air as she tried to maintain balance.
Octavia smirked, "Brace against your cello."
Derpy latched onto the instrument, using it to steady herself like a third leg. It worked, and she was able to stand.
"All right," Octavia said, still wryly smiling - an act that Derpy found adorable to say the least. "Go ahead and run your bow across the strings."
She complied, and dragged her bow across the four strings. The resulting sound was painfully grating, so much so that both Derpy and Octavia cringed. She smiled bashfully, certain she had screwed something up.
"Geeze Derpy," Octavia said. "When was the last time you tuned your instrument?"
"Uh..." She glanced the cello over. "Never."
The look on Octavia's face was one of pure mortification. "N-never?" she stuttered in shock.
Derpy receded behind her cello, fearful that she had just upset her friend and possibly ruined any chance for a relationship between the two of them. Instead of the rage Derpy was afraid of, Octavia calmly set down her instrument and walked over to Derpy.
The musician passively stood on her hind legs again, putting her weight on Derpy’s cello. At first the mailmare was confused, but then Octavia began adjusting the little black knobs at the top of the instrument, just as she had been doing to her own cello mere minutes ago.
“Okay, go ahead and play the A string.” Octavia told Derpy. A delighted shiver ran along her spine as Octavia’s breath cascaded onto her face.
“Uh… which one is the A string again?” Derpy half-whispered. Octavia rolled her eyes.
“I knew you weren’t listening to me earlier,” the cellist accused.
“Sorry.”
With her hoof, Octavia nudged Derpy’s bow until it came to rest on one of the four indistinguishable cello strings.
“That’s the A string,” she said. “Now play it.”
Derpy complied, dragging the bow across the string while simultaneously bracing her ears. She was surprised, however, when this time the cello played a much softer note than before.
“Wow, that sounded so much better!” Derpy exclaimed.
“Yeah, that’s the point of tuning.” Octavia grinned.
She moved onto the next knob on the cello, adjusting it and having Derpy play the next chord to make sure it was satisfactory. The next few strings required several minor adjustments, causing Octavia to keep going back to them. Derpy took note how her friend’s hoof would move towards the center of the cello after each adjustment, as if she expected to test the sound herself opposed to Derpy. The gray pegasus quickly formed an idea in her mind for another flirting attempt, one Octavia surely wouldn’t miss.
The knob for the C string was turned once again. With her criss-crossed eyes focused, Derpy was able to catch the subtle tensing of Octavia’s shoulder muscles as she went to pluck the string. She was faster than Octavia though, and placed her hoof on the string first. A mere second later Octavia’s gray hoof met Derpy’s.
“Hey... look at that,” Derpy squeaked out, her face exploding into a blush like a red firecracker. “Our hooves are touching. Isn’t that… something…haha...ha...”
Really? she chided herself. Octavia touches your hoof and you turn into some kind of idiot? Get it together.
“Oh, I’m sorry Derpy,” her friend said, retracting her hoof. “I didn’t mean to invade your personal space.”
Her blush receded only slightly. “It’s okay Octavia, you can invade my personal space anytime you want.”
It came off as way more awkward than she meant it to be.
Even so, Octavia still didn’t seem to comprehend the fact that Derpy was flirting with her. She merely raised her eyebrow and said, “Okay then, I just didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
Derpy grinned meekly.
How could she have missed that? The gray pegasus screamed internally. How?
The tuning was over with before too much longer. Derpy was hardly focusing on it anymore. She was desperately trying to come up with a new flirting strategy. Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice when Octavia finished.
“Ahem,” Octavia said with a fake cough. Derpy was pulled back into reality.
“Huh? What?” She whipped her head around, before realizing her teacher was back at her own cello, ready to play. “Oh. Sorry.”
Octavia sighed. “Well, now that I have your attention, why don’t we start with a simple progression.” She effortlessly allowed her bow to dance across the cello strings, creating a beautiful sound with only three notes. “Now you try.”
Derpy executed the maneuvers she’d seen Octavia perform, but instead of the flowing melody, hers came out choppy and malformed. She winced at her own incompetence.
“This one should be easier to play,” Octavia told her. She began gracefully sliding her bow across the strings. The resulting melody cascaded upon Derpy’s ears. Blood rose beneath her cheeks again, taking her mind away from her previous failures.
As she watched Octavia play, a small breeze running through her mane. Everything about her seemed flawless. The gray pegasus felt her heart beat fast just watching her friend concentrate on the music.
“You’re beautiful,” Derpy whispered loudly.
The music abruptly ended, Octavia freezing in mid note. Derpy’s blush deepened as she realized she’d spoken instead of thinking. A cold sweat also broke out on her forehead.
“W-what was that?” Octavia asked, her face compressed into a look of disbelief.
Letting her mouth hang open for just a second, Derpy stuttered, “Y-you’re music. I-I said you’re music is beautiful.”
Octavia smiled warmly. “Oh, thank you. Did you want to try playing it now?”
She bit her lip, fearing what might slip out, and nodded reluctantly. Her bow wobbled as it approached the strings. The first two notes came out flawless, and Derpy smiled, hoping Octavia would be impressed. Then everything fell apart. Her bow slipped to the wrong string, playing a completely different set of notes. She tried desperately to fix it, and only ended up making it worse. Defeated, Derpy simply stopped playing.
I guess impressing her is out of the question.
“Sorry,” she whispered to Octavia. The response was a shake of the head.
“Don’t be sorry, Derpy. That was a very good first try.” Octavia moved to set her cello down. “Here let me help you.”
Octavia approached casually, took Derpy’s hoof in her own, and began moving it to show the proper way to play the chord. She should have been paying attention, but Octavia touching her just brought back her blush. Then Derpy got a new idea for flirting.
“Okay, I think I understand this part,” she said, waving the hoof that held the bow. “But what do I do up here?” To specify, Derpy indicated the hoof that was wrapped around the neck of the cello.
“That’s an easy one Derpy. I’ll show you.” Keeping the one hoof on Derpy’s bow hold, Octavia shifted around behind her, and placed her other hoof right on Derpy’s to guide it. Their hooves danced along the upper part of the cello, pushing down on the strings to create brand new notes. Her face beet red, Derpy smiled to herself. This was the perfect position to lean back into Octavia’s forelegs and have them wrap around her. There was no way her klutziness could mess this up.
Derpy shifted her weight towards her back, slowly falling into Octavia’s body. As she let go of the cello, Derpy suddenly remembered how impossible it was to balance on two hoofs.
Both mares crashed to the ground in a heap.
“Ah! Derpy, what is wrong with you?” Octavia asked, smushed between the ground and a very embarrassed pegasus. “Why would you do something like that?”
“I’m sorry!” She exclaimed, rolling off of her friend. “I’m so, so sorry! I’m such a big, fat, stupid, featherbrain!” Derpy began sobbing, tears streaming down her face. There was no way Octavia was going to forgive her for this one. She’d almost been crushed for pony’s sake! “I… I…” Derpy could finish her own sentence before she began weeping.
“Derpy, it’s okay,” Octavia said after sitting up and catching her breath.
She sniffled. “It is?”
“Yes,” Octavia assured her. “I promise I’m not mad at you. A little irritated perhaps, but not mad.” She scooted closer to the crying pegasus. “Look, I know you probably think you’ll never be a good cello player, but you will. It’s only your first lesson, so don’t feel bad about making a few mistakes.”
Derpy couldn’t respond. Octavia still, somehow, couldn’t see what Derpy was trying to do. She was still under the delusion that they were here for a music lesson. No amount of flirting was going to change that, she realized. There was only one thing that would break through Octavia’s obliviousness.
“Do you want to keep going with the lesson?” Octavia asked.
Tell her no, Derpy thought. Instead tell her the truth, you coward. Tell Octavia you love her!
“I…”
Say it!
“Yes. Let’s keep going.” Derpy said. They both stood up, all the while Derpy cursing herself.
Stupid featherbrain, you wrecked it. You'll never get another chance like that. Face it, you’re too scared to ever tell Octavia the truth.
Returning to her own cello, Octavia picked it up and positioned her bow to play it again. She glanced over at Derpy silently expecting the gray pegasus to do the same. Continuing to bottle up her feelings of sadness and failure, Derpy reached for her own instrument, which had clattered to the ground. With a heavy sigh, she began practicing once again.
Octavia wanted to believe that the lessons were going well, but she couldn’t do that when Derpy continued to fail every time she tried to play the cello.
They’d been practicing for hours now with no progress. It wasn’t her friend’s klutziness that was inhibiting her, which surprised Octavia. Instead, Derpy was horribly unfocused. She found that very odd, seeing as how Derpy was the one who wanted the lesson so badly. Could her lessons be that horribly uninteresting? And if they were, why hadn’t Derpy just left by now? It wasn’t making any sense to her.
Her friend tried and failed yet again to duplicate her song - one that consisted of only three notes this time. With a frustrated sigh Derpy let her bow drop to the ground, before defeatedly falling down herself.
“Don’t give up yet, Derpy,” Octavia encouraged. “I know you can get this.”
“Yeah, sure,” came her reply. Feeling a little sympathy for her friend, Octavia set down her instrument and took a seat on the grass by Derpy.
“What’s going on with you?” She asked, earning a confused glance. “You practically beg me to give a cello lesson, and now you’re acting like you don’t want it. Whenever I try to explain something or show you what to do you just stare off into space. Why? Do I bore you that much?”
“No,” Derpy said hastily. “Octavia you could never bore me. You’re smart, and kind, and you talk about your music with so much passion that sometimes it leaves me speechless.”
“Oh,” Octavia replied softly. She hadn’t expected something so… flattering. “Well if I’m not boring you, then what is it?”
“I…” Derpy sighed. “I never really wanted to learn how to play the cello in the first place.”
“What?!” Octavia screamed. The gray pegasus flinched. “Then why in Equestria did you ask for a private lesson?”
“Because I wanted to spend time with you,” Derpy said. “I wanted us to be alone for a few hours because… I really like you Octavia, and I just had to tell you that.”
“I see,” Octavia replied. “Derpy, you didn’t need to lead me here under false pretenses.”
Derpy’s crossed eyes blinked. “I didn’t?”
“No of course not. I like you too.”
“You do?!” Derpy’s face exploded with elation. Before Octavia had a chance to react, her friend tackled her with a massive hug. “You really like me?”
“Of course,” Octavia said with a little laugh at Derpy’s enthusiasm. “We are friends after all. How could I not like you?”
Upon hearing this, Derpy stiffened. “F-friends?” She asked, voice cracking.
“Absolutely,” she replied. The hug suddenly ended, Derpy withdrawing from her. A disheartened look covered her face, confusing Octavia. “What’s the matter?”
“Sweet Celestia, how can one pony be this oblivious?” Derpy asked to nopony in particular.
“Oblivious? Derpy, what are you talking about?”
“Octavia… I, uh…” The gray pegasus bit her lip, clearly nervous about what she was going to say. Octavia raised her eyebrow at her friend. Derpy exhaled a long, shaky breath.
She leaned close, at first making Octavia think she was going to hug her again, but paused, clearly still nervous.
“Derpy, whatever it is you need to tell me, you can say it.”
“Okay,” Derpy replied, still a little shaky. She shut her eyes tightly. “Octavia, I love you.”
Silence.
Her mouth opened as she attempted to say something, but no words formed. Derpy didn’t wait for a reply. She seized the opportunity and pressed her lips against Octavia’s.
Her pupils shrunk to the size of marbles as the kiss deepened. Derpy wrapped both her forelegs around her, hooves digging into her dark mane. Their lips wrestled for several more seconds. Octavia was too shocked to do anything but blink.
Eventually, Derpy needed to breath, and she ended the kiss. Octavia was a statue, unable to move. Derpy’s out of sync eyes widened with anticipation. “Well?” she asked.
“…”
“Octavia?” Derpy asked.
“…”
Derpy shut her eyes, but not before a single tear escaped. “I understand.” Hastily, the gray pegasus packed her cello back into its case, and locked it. She took one last look at Octavia, who still could not move. “Goodbye,” Derpy said. “I’m sorry if I just ruined everything.”
As Derpy left, Octavia’s brain finally started working again. Her eyes blinked several times, and she was able to close her still buzzing lips. Still unable to comprehend what had just happened, Octavia stared off in the direction the gray pegasus had left.
“D-Derpy?”
