The Perfect Plan Of Perfectness Full Of Perfection
Fluttershy woke up to a banging on her door. She mumbled to herself and got out of bed. She walked downstairs and opened the door. It was Discord. He instantly stared talking. "Do you want to go on a date with me? Ok! Be ready to go at 6:00!" He then vanished. Fluttershy stood at the door confused. Angel hopped up to her. Fluttershy tried to process what happened.
"I think I have a date tonight." She said puzzled. Angel looked up at her with confusion. Fluttershy was still shocked.
Before: Discord sat in the grass thinking. He wasn't thinking about anything specific. One minute he would be thinking about oranges and the next minute he would be thinking about space and time. Then he thought about Fluttershy. He then tried to focus on something else. It was four months after the Tirek incident and ever since then he had felt weird around Fluttershy. In fact he hadn't seen her since. Fluttershy some how made it back in to his head. He had apologized to her but he still felt something...weird. He knew it wasn't guilt. It was definitely something else. He just couldn't identify it.
He looked around at his land. Celestia had given it to him. He could do whatever he wanted to it. But every time he tried to do something it always turned out to be exactly the same no matter how hard he tried. It was irritating. He sighed and tried to make the land chaotic again. Didn't work. What was wrong with him. He banged his head against a rock out of frustration. Suddenly he heard flapping. He turned around. It was Derpy. "Why hello Derpy!" He shouted. Derpy looked his way.
"I'm busy Discord." She then flew off. Now he couldn't even annoy a simple pony. He grumbled. What was wrong with him? He made his thinking tree appear. He sat in it and got in to his thinking position. An idea came to him. He then saw a flash and Celestia appeared.
"Just the pony I was looking for." Celestia was wet and had bubbles all over her. And she was holding a rubber duck. Discord knew she had been taking a bath. He couldn't help but laugh. Celestia looked like she was going to murder him.
"I was taking a bath Discord!" Discord continued laughing.
"I need to get my camera!" He made a camera appear and he began to take pictures at a bunch of different angles. Celestia then blasted magic at the camera and it blew up in to pieces. Discord was quite shocked by her behavior.
"Enough games Discord. Why am I here?" Discord sighed. How was he going to explain this? He began to think hard about what he should say.
"I have lost my...no....I....no no no.....erm......" He continued to mumble. Celestia growled. He had interrupted her bath to mumble at her? She then had an idea. It was perfect. Discord would have all of his problems solved. She began to cast a spell. He horn began to glow. Then a blast of magic hit the ground and Luna appeared.
"What the buck?...." Celestia then laughed and disappeared in a flash of green. Luna looked at Discord. She knew exactly what her sister was doing. "CELESTIA!" She shouted. Then she used her magic to make Celestia reappear. "I am not going to deal with your problems all the time!" She then disappeared. Celestia stomped her hoof.
"Dang it!" She whispered. Discord watched the scene with pleasure. At least he was creating a bit of family chaos. Celestia grumbled and decided to solve the problem herself. She looked back at Discord. "Tell me what you need so I can resume my bath." Discord formulated a sentence in his mind. He then thought about what he was going to do. He had to make this as entertaining as possible for him. He grinned mischievously and got on to his knees. He began to beg.
"Oooooohhhh Celestia! Please help me! I have lost my chaotic way!" He then began to moan and groan. Celestia cringed and tried to block out the noise by using her magic and putting leaves in her ears. No good. Discord only got louder. Celestia yelled.
"OKAY DISCORD!" Discord instantly stopped. Celestia saw this calmed down. She lowered the leaves from her ears. Just as she was about to speak she felt wiggling in her ear. She froze. Then very carefully she used her magic to pull something out of her ear. She then lifted it in front of her eyes. A worm was floating in front of her. She dropped it and screamed. "EW EW EW EW EW!" She rubbed her ears with her hooves rapidly. Discord burst in to laughter.
"You...had...a...worm in your ear!" He then laughed even harder. Celestia stopped rubbing her ears and slowly turned her head towards Discord.
"I'll SHOW YOU A WORM DISCORD!" She then used her magic to pull out all of the worms in the dirt. Discord looked up at the giant mass of worms floating above him. He leaned down.
"Please don't kill me with worms. And isn't this a bit extreme? I only laughed at you. And I was hoping to die from old age or something like that....." He looked at Celestia then the worms with fear. Celestia was a dangerous and scary pony sometimes... Celestia then shirked a battle cry and pelted the chaotic spirit with worms. Discord tried to dodge them but they all hit him with deadly accuracy. Within a few seconds he was buried under a pile of worms. He lifted his head out and spit worms from his mouth. Celestia's rage went away and when she saw Discord she began to laugh. Discord frowned. "Ha ha ha. Real funny Celestia." He said sarcastically. He then made the worms disappear with a snap his paw. "Now let's focus on my chaos problem."
"Oh....right....." A moment of awkward silence passed. "So....You know what! You are coming with me to a counselor. " Discord glared at Celestia.
"Last time I went to see one of those I turned crazy and ended up as a statue for a thousand years!" Celestia ignored him and used her magic to teleport them. Discord entered a dark void. He felt like he was falling. This always happened when he was teleported against his will. It happened a lot so he was pretty used to it. He then saw light and reappeared in a dull office. "Oh no...." Bad memories happened in offices like this one. He shivered. Celestia glared at him.
"Stop being and idiot and talk to the pony. Maybe he can actually help you Discord." Discord grumbled and sat in the chair right in front of the pony's desk. He braced himself for bad things to happen..
2 Hours Later
"DISCORD YOU IDIOT!" Celestia screeched. Discord ignored Celestia and continued to formulate his plan.
"So I like Fluttershy. But that would never work. She's a different species and not immortal so there is a huge problem. But not for long.. I shall bring her out on a date and make it as terrible as possible! Then she will never want to date me ever and I will never be able to date her! Then I shall move on and my powers shall return...." Celestia put her hoof up to her head. She tried to help Discord and give him advice. Now this happened. She tried to help him.
"Discord that's a terrible plan!" She yelled. But Discord was in his own world and couldn't hear her.
"My perfect plan of perfectness full of perfection!" He then looked around. "Well I have a certain pagasus to ask out on a date!" He then vanished. The counselor looked at her.
"I tried to help him." Celestia just groaned and walked off.
Another Ingenious Plan That Doesn't Quite Work Out
Fluttershy still stood by the doorway confused. She had a date with Discord?! She was extremely confused. As she fed her animals and did her other chores she tried to figure out what she should do. Maybe tell her friends? No. Celestia knows how they would react. She couldn't even imagine it. Though she did know Pinkie would say something random. Then she remembered something. She had been planning to go have a picnic with her friends today.
Fluttershy decided to stay home and figure everything out. This was all very confusing and weird. This was difficult. Her mind was a huge mess of words and thoughts. What was she going to do? She checked the time. It was 8:03 AM. About ten hours until her date. She shivered at the thought. Discord was a good friend but to be in a serious relationship with him is like trying to imagine yourself dating...... well Discord! It was just to strange to compare to anything.
Then there was knocking. Dread filled Fluttershy. What was she going to do? She then looked at the clock. It was 9:00 Time had gone by quick. To quick. She was supposed to meet up with them thirty minutes ago. She then raised her hoof to her head. She should have told her friends that she wasn't going to show up for the picnic they had planned. She trotted up to the door and slowly opened it. When there was enough room she stuck her out. It was all of her friends. "Eeeyp!" She quickly slammed the door. She then heard Rarity.
"Darling, what's wrong?" Fluttershy thought about what to say.
"Erm...NOTHING! EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY OKAY. NO REASON AT ALL TO BE SUSPICIOUS. HE HE. ITS NOT LIKE I HAVE A DATE WITH DISCORD OR ANYTHING!!!!" She then face hoofed herself. Now they were definitely worried. Probably for her sanity. She then heard pounding on her door again. Twilight spoke.
"Don't make us have to blow your door down." Fluttershy swallowed with fear. She knew she would have to tell them. She walked up as slowly as possible to the door. She then reached her hoof out and opened the door. Her friends barged in. Applejack was the first to speak.
"Now why didn't you tell us you wouldn't show up?" Fluttershy tried to speak but Twilight then interrupted her.
"Its not like you to just not show up." Fluttershy yet again tried to speak but Rarity interrupted her.
"What the matter dear? Trouble with Angel? He has always been a tough bunny to deal with." Fluttershy tried to speak but the ponies were all asking her questions. She couldn't take it anymore.
"I HAVE A DATE WITH-" She then stopped herself. What was she thinking? She couldn't tell them. They would drive her insane. All the ponies looked at her with confusion. Then Pinkie spoke.
"Discord woke you up in the morning and asked you out on a date tonight and you need help!" All the ponies looked at Pinkie.
Applejack spoke. "Pinkie that's crazy talk!" Applejack then looked at Fluttershy. She could tell she was hiding something. She was the element of honesty. "Right? Or are ya hiding somethin?" Fluttershy lowered her head.
"Its true." She said in a almost sad tone. All the ponies gasped.
"How did you know that?" Twilight asked. Pinkie rubbed her hooves together deviously.
"I spy on all my best pony friend in the morning!" Twilight shivered at the thought. The other ponies ignored it because Pinkie was just crazy like that and they were used to it. Then the looked back at Fluttershy.
"So...yer on a date with Discord?" Applejack asked. Fluttershy nodded. "Well then we have to make this the worst date ever!" The girls looked at her with confusion. Applejack sighed and began to explain. "If we make this a terrible date then Discord will never want to go out with her again! And datin Discord would just be weird. And wrong. Very very wrong." The ponies nodded in agreement. Then they looked at Fluttershy.
"That is if its okay with you." Twilight said. Fluttershy thought about this for a moment. It would be really weird to date a friend. Especially Discord. She nodded.
"I shall make you a dress out of dirty rags!" Rarity yelled.
"I will cast a spell on you to make you disgusting!" Twilight shouted.
"Ah will get some old sweaty towels to use as deodorant!" Applejack said.
"I can zap you with lighting to make your mane and tail crazy!" Rainbow dash said enthusiastically. Pinkie pie said nothing. What could she do? Fluttershy felt uncomfortable about this. She was the element of kindness. And it wouldn't be very kind to ruin her first date and possibly Discord's first date. But what else could she do? Dating Discord would be insanity. She sighed and let the girls work. This was going to be a long day. A very long day. Rarity rushed home to collect all of her dirtiest rags and pieces if cloth to sew together. Applejack ran off to get her old sweaty towels she uses after a long day of work. Twilight began to cast her spell. Rainbow dash prepared a cloud. She smiled evilly. Pinkie pie just sat there and watched. It was pretty entertaining.
A few hours passed by and the girls were done. The once beautiful nature pony was a wreck. He mane and tail stood up in all directions. She wore old dish rags poorly sewn together. Applejack had rubbed her towels all over her making her smell awful. All the girls put their hooves up to their noses. And Fluttershy was constantly doing something gross because of Twilight's spell. She was perfectly hideous. And all done an hour early. The girls smiled at their work. Then just like that they left. Fluttershy then ripped the dress off. She couldn't ruin this date. It wasn't right.
She quickly took a shower and groomed her mane and tail. That took thirty minutes. She then quickly sprayed perfume all over herself. She couldn't smell bad either. That took another ten minutes because she had to borrow perfume. She couldn't own any because it was poisonous to her animals. She had to hurry. She quickly ran to Lyra's to borrow a dress and get the nasty spell removed from her. Another twenty minutes went by. She was ready. The only thing different about her was the light red dress she wore. It was very simple. She then rushed back home and waited for her date with Discord.
