Chapters Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
Big Mac watches as his sister comes out of the room, and he promptly turns around, bucking her in the face. “What the hay was that for!?” Applejack whimpers.
Big Mac leans in close to his sister, still mad, but feeling a little better after hitting her, then harshly states, “I’m a colt-cuddler too ya know.” He sees his sister’s eyes go wide, tears welling up inside them, but before she could say anything, he turns around and stomps his way out of Ponyville General Hospital, easing his hooffalls as he makes his way through town. He sighs, knowing all too well that he shouldn’t have gone off on his sister like that, but he couldn’t hold it in. Not wanting to think about it any longer, he starts heading back to his home on Sweet Apple Acres, only to pause reflecting; he had shown the courage to tell his sister off the way he did, even after how she had treated the poor stallion, so what the hay? What the hay could go wrong with mustering the courage to finally talk to him? The worst that could happen would be getting outright rejected, or maybe even walloped up-side the head. So he turns, a new destination in his sights.
He walks down the streets of Ponyville, perhaps too familiar with the path to the stallion's home, he'd made this trek before, planing to do the same thing he was planning to do now. Left here at the ally, Left again after he exits, Right at the 'magazine' store, and Right again at the brewery. Up one street and Up another, and finally Down this street and Down that other. The perfect cheat to get him there faster. Finally, he looks up at the doorway, hesitant. He knew this house, he had stood at this door many times, but every other time he had given up, too scared, too unsure of himself to knock, but not this time, he knew what he was going to do, and so he knocked. The epitome of perfection opened the door, greeting him timidly. “Oh, hi there Big Mac, what brings you here?”
This was it, the moment he had always dread, yet the moment he was hoping for. He had to do this. “Well, I’d just kinda like to know if you would wanna…” he stammers, he has to get this out of his system, “go out on a date with me?”
“YEAH!” Exclaims Bulk Biceps.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to waste your.... wait, what?"
"I said 'YEAH!'" Bulk smirks, "but under one condition."
"Wha... what's that?"
Taking on the most adorable 'death stare' one could imagine, "You are under no circumstances to call me Snowflake, it's bad enough half the town does, I don't need anyone else doing it. You think you can handle that, Big Mac?"
"A... absolutely, Bulk Biceps that ain't a problem at all, but I ain't never heard you called that before myself."
"Well that's good at least, so um, I've got a bit of training to do to help supply rainwater, so how about we meet for lunch at the café sometime next week, Saturday work for you?"
"Eeyup"
"Alright, see you then." Bulk Biceps smirks, as he closes his door.
Big Mac just stood there for a couple seconds, dumbfounded. He acted like he knew I was coming, he ponders for a moment, then his eyes bolted open. At this rate, he might not even be back home for supper, but he had decided. He was going to have a few words with Fluttershy.
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
“Fluttershy, I know you’re here. I might not have noticed you if it weren’t for the fact that every time you try to hide from anypony you always forget to hide your tail too.” Suddenly the pink hair of her tail disappears, and Big Mac sighs. “Too late now, I already saw it.” He had walked from one end of the town clear to the other, and was most likely going to miss supper, he wasn’t about to give up now. He had even thought up a good plan of things to bring up to chastize her for going behind his back and telling Bulk Biceps that he liked him. Even though it turned out in his favor, it still hurt that she would do something like that. It wasn’t very kind of her.
“There’s no way I can convince you you saw nothing?” Fluttershy whispers timidly.
“Nope.”
“You’re just going to stay there until I come out, aren’t you?”
“Eeyup.”
“Oh, okay,” she concedes, crawling slowly out of the vase she had stuffed herself into in order to hide herself from the stallion whose secret she had let slip to the one he most wanted it kept hidden from, at least, on his own terms. “But could you do me one eency-weency little favor, that is, if you don’t mind?”
“Depends.”
“Oh, well I would like to ask you if you would kindly still be my friend and not hate me or never talk to me again for what I did, if you’d like. Would you do that, if it’s not a bother?”
“Eeyup.”
“Oh thank you, I would be very sad if you had decided in favor of that option, you’re a good friend. I’m so very sorry I went behind your back like that but I thought it would turn out in your favor, but I suppose your being here right now means it didn’t, did it?”
“Nope.”
“Wait, do you mean nope it didn’t turn out in your favor, or nope you were negating my proposition”
“The latter. Have you been spending a lot of time around Twilight lately though?”
“Oh yes, she has become really interested in linguistics lately, being surprised how it says that ‘proper’ grammar isn’t really proper, she said ‘it turns out the grammar taught in schools is actually rather arbitrary and just a few individual’s opinion over the matter, but it does have its place because it has already been drilled in people’s brains, and also it helps standardize communication between different dialects that might have different spellings simply due to pronunciation differences, which is why writing ‘ah’ instead of ‘I’ or spelling other common words other than perhaps a ‘eeyup’ here and there is not wise. It distracts from the content of a story with something you would completely understand as being the same thing in speech, making it unrecognizable in writing.’ Although I’m still not completely sure what that means, do you?”
“Eeyup.”
“Oh, I guess you always were much smarter than you let on…” She sighs inwardly, wondering why such a stallion had to be a colt-cuddler.
“Eeyup.”
“I suppose since you came here you had something to say to me about what I said to Snowflake?”
“Eeyup,” Fluttershy looks at him expectantly. “But it was kind of mean.”
“Well, the first thing wasn’t part of what I was going to say, bit it fits in right nice. Calling Bulk Biceps Snowflake when everypony and his brother knows he doesn’t like that isn’t very kind.” She winces at that. “Second off, breaking a Pinky Pie Promise to keep a secret that won’t cause harm to nopony is not very kind.” Her eyes widen. “Thirdly, hiding from somepony after breaking such a promise and keeping an explanation from them they deserve isn’t very kind.” Tears start to well up in her eyes. “Fourthly, being at home rather than out practicing with every pegasus else to prepare for supplying Cloudsdale with water isn’t very kind.” She starts bawling at this point. “Are you still truly able to bear the Element of Kindness?” Big Mac looks down on Fluttershy bittersweetly. On one hoof he feels better after telling her how he really feels, but on the other he feels bad about how it’s making her feel, and Angel is just making that hoof feel worse. “Look Fluttershy, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, it’s alright Big Mac. I asked you to tell me what you thought, and you did. It may have been a little harsh, but it’s true nonetheless, thank you for being honest.”
“Eeyup, though I suppose it’s about time I headed back home, maybe there’ll be some still-warm leftovers from supper.”
“Oh, well actually I was about to make dinner myself, would you like to join me?”
“Nope, I got an early morning tomorrow, Caramel’s coming over to help with some chores, and I wanna be presentable.” A smirk crossed his face.
“Oh, I thought you liked Sno… I mean Bulk Biceps”
“I do, though in truth I really like them both just about equally, it’s just, I can’t have the one, seeing as Caramel ain’t a colt-cuddler like me.”
“How did you find that out?”
Big Mac blushes sheepishly, “Sorry, but that stays between Mel and me.”
“Oh, okay, well, be careful walking home, it’s rather late out.”
“I’ll be just fine.” He says as he turns and walks out the door. He starts thinking about home, it was getting pretty cold out, and he couldn’t wait to get under his covers. Hopefully Applejack kept some supper warm for him. Oh buck! He’d totally forgotten about their encounter earlier today. He couldn’t go home tonight; he was too tired to face her again right now. He turns, deciding to give Mel a visit. He was glad Mel was such a good friend to him, he would never have expected anypony to still be friends with him after what had happened, let alone be so cool with it and brushing it off as if it were nothing like Mel did.
When he gets to Caramel’s house he knocks on the door, and Caramel lets him in. “You alright Big Mac, it’s late, why aren’t you at home asleep?” he asks the stallion.
“Well, I had a little fight with AJ today, and I'm really not up to facing her right now, you mind if I stay here at your place tonight?”
Caramel raises an eyebrow. “Sure Big Mac.” Caramel notices the stallion looking over to the kitchen, and realizes that if he hadn’t been home yet, he probably hasn’t had supper either, Big Mac wasn’t normally one to carry the money around to eat out, or even tend to eat out in general. “You hungry?”
Big Mac gives a toothy smile, “Eeyup”
“Tell you what, I get you something to eat, and you tell me everything that happened today.”
“Deal.”
Bulk Biceps closes his front door, watching Big Mac leave. Once he was sure he was out of earshot he started squealing like Justin Baleber fanfilly and bouncing so much you’d think Pinky Pie had turned white and grown wings and a certain other member. “Okay, okay, Bulky, calm down, you need to get to training so Big Mac will be impressed.” And that is just what he did.
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
Chapter 2: Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
It was dark. Light enough to see but too dark to see anything in color. Before him were some sort of bipedal winged creatures with such a disparity between the length of the hind and fore limbs that there was no way the creatures would ever tend to walk with all four limbs. Two spiral horns jutted from each creature’s head, and massive fangs seemed to mangle the flesh on their mouths. He couldn’t understand the words they spoke, yet he knew exactly what they were saying.
“El Omniciente nos desterró por darnos cuenta de Su tiranía y por this we will drag down his precious creations by tainting them, making them turn to evil, the wrong, the unnatural, like him!” The speaker turns and points a claw at him, staring directly into his eyes, staring directly into his soul.
Big Macintosh awoke with a start, a cold sweat dampening his coat. He was breathing heavily, his heart rate frantic. It was only a dream, he realizes. “What’s the matter Big Mac?” said the friendly stallion warm against his side.
“I had a nightmare.” Big Mac confesses to Caramel.
“Oh?”
“It was nothing.” He lies.
“Come on Big Mac, we’re best friends. I know you were disappointed when you found out I wasn’t into stallions, but I didn’t let that get in the way of our friendship and I never will. I mean hay, I’m a straight stallion and I’m letting a colt-cuddler sleep right up against me, that’s gotta say something” Caramel teases.
Big Mac smiles, calming down a little. Mel always seemed to be able to calm him down whenever he was too worked up. “Eeyup, you’re right.” He pauses to catch his breath, Caramel looking at him expectantly. “Remember what I told you about when I came out to my pa?”
“Yeah.”
“Well I dreamt about the place he told me about… The place he told me I was going. It was awful, everything hurt, and there were these monsters. One of them was addressing all the others. I knew what he was saying, er, well what he meant, and what he was talking about, even though it was in some strange language I’d never heard before, but partway through, it switched to my pa’s voice, talking in pony. He told the others that he wanted to bring down others by causing them to do evil or unnatural things, and pointed at me as an example.”
“Oh, Big Mac, I’m so sorry, that must have been hurtful.”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac sighs.
“Did you ever make up with your father before he, well… you know…”
“Nope,” He frowns, “in fact, we’d just had a big fight about it not an hour before.”
Caramel puts his arms around Big Mac, holding him tight. “Listen, you know I love you right? Not like I know you’d wanted, but as a brother, as long as I breathe I’ll be here for you, understand?”
“Eeyup,” he whispers gently, “and I’m glad for it, I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d have ruined our friendship by telling you how I really felt. Anyway, could you tell me; do we have enough time to go back to sleep?”
“We have plenty.” And with that, Big Mac gently fell asleep in Caramel's embrace, as did Caramel embracing him, and just as he was falling asleep, Big Mac thought to himself how much better this Friday had ended than it had started.
“Is that all you got, Snowflake ?” Rainbow Dash spat, “Don’t tell my you’re gonna pull a Fluttershy on me!” Bulk Biceps winced at Rainbow’s accusation; he couldn’t be that bad, could he? He puts all he’s got into this final stretch, he has to be better. Straining harder than ever, he sees the finish line in sight, with Twilight and that weird machine thingy that tells your wingpower. He’s almost there, just a little more, there!
Bulk Biceps starts to slow down, landing without falling on his flank this time. He looks at Twilight and Rainbow Dash, both of them with their eyebrows raised. “Not bad this time Snowflake, you managed to up your wingpower by two.” Dash complemented.
“Yeah!” exclaimed Bulk Biceps
“Alright, that’s everyone except Fluttershy,” Rainbow whispers that second part, “Go home, and get some well deserved rest, we still got more training to do come Monday if we plan to be the new record holders, and I plan for us to be the new record holders, so no slaking off over the weekend, got it?” She looks at everypony, ‘yeah’s and ‘woohoo’s echoing through the group, Bulk Biceps being no exception.
He watches as she leaves to go back to her home right above Ponyville. He turns, starting the not-so-short walk to his house. Twilight notices him walking, and goes up to him. “You have trouble flying on your own, don’t you?” she asks him.
Bulk looks down and mumbles “Yeah.”
“That embarrasses you doesn’t it, it makes you feel like you’re not as good as everypony else?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you really shouldn’t let that get to you, in fact; let me tell you about this unicorn mare I know. The first spell unicorns usually learn is the levitation spell you probably see used all the time, but then as we grow older, we usually learn more spells, mostly having something to do with our special talent. But this one mare, try as she might, she couldn’t learn any other spell to save her life, and that made her feel awful, like she was lesser.” Bulk Biceps nods to let her know he was following. “Eventually she realized that she shouldn’t let something that most other ponies do that she couldn’t get her down, and she started practicing that levitation spell day and night. She decided that if she was only going to know one spell for the rest of her life, she’d better know it well, and that’s just what she did. Last time I saw her, she was at the unicorn version of those heavy lifting contests you go to. She won the competition after having lifted the two ton weights up two hoofball fields in heighth, even I can’t come close to that. So what do we say, aside from helping every pegasus else out with this endeavor, that you stick to what you really can do, but make sure you try to be the very best. You think you can do that?”
“Yeah.” He said, a little more enthusiastically this time.
“So, um, would you maybe, want to go on a date after this whole supply thing is over?” Twilight beams, already sure of the answer.
“No.”
“Great it’s a… wait, what? Why not? Oh you’re dating Fluttershy aren’t you? I should have listened to Rarity.” She stammers dumbfoundedly
“No again, my barn doors just don’t swing that way Twilight.”
Aside from the fact that she could swear that was the longest utterance she’d ever heard him say, she was also quite surprised by its content. “Oh, I’m sorry, I guess I had ju—”
He cuts her off “Assumed that I was straight because I lift weights and have big muscles?”
“Yeah, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s alright, but do me a favor would you, there are two things I’d like everypony in Ponyville to know, so could you tell Rarity, one, that I’m a colt-cuddler, and two, I really don’t like it when people call me Snowflake.”
“Done.” She smiles to herself, oh how Rarity’s reputation precedes her. She walks off, leaving Bulk Biceps only two blocks before he finds himself home.
He walks into the door, grabs something small from the kitchen and heads down to the basement to his room. I’m too old to still be living with my mom, he thinks, munches his snack, and crashes on his bed falling asleep almost instantly. Tomorrow was going to be a long day of practicing and training, just his wings this time instead of everything else he normally trains.
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
Bulk Biceps stirs, waking gently from his sleep to the sound of birds chirping and the smell of sweet maple syrup and zap apple jam. He slips into his bathroom and starts the shower. After killing two birds with one stone with that shower, he dries off, and heads upstairs. “Good morning Mommy.” He says to apparently nopony as no one responds. “Mommy?” He questions, and still nopony answers, but as he gets to the kitchen, he sees a note and immediately goes to read it. It was in his mother’s hoofwriting.
Bulky,
Ms Redheart has invited me to join her for breakfast,
so I of course accepted, but you know how we can
get, so I might be gone all day again. Make sure you
eat breakfast, not only will it help you keep up your
workouts, but I also prepared your favorites special
just for you, and I’d be disappointed if you didn’t
eat any of it. Don’t strain yourself too hard today
though, I don’t want to see you hurt yourself
before Friday and be unable to help.
Love You,
Mommy
He smiles at the note. He always thought she needed some friends to hang out with, and about two months ago, she started hanging out with Nurse Redheart and a couple of the doctors from the hospital, sometimes even staying with them overnight. Sleepovers were awesome and he was glad she seemed to be having fun. But he wasn’t exactly having fun, he hated breakfast, even if these were his favorite breakfast foods, but it made Mommy happy when he ate it, and he has been noticing he’s been building muscle easier since she started making him do it two months ago, she said she wanted him fit and healthy to make her grandfoals someday. He may be a colt-cuddler, but he still wanted to sire children someday, not just adopt foals from Japony like all the others did.
Just as he finishes his breakfast, there is a knock at the door. He thought this was strange, because it was at the exact same time he had swallowed the last piece, which is almost too exact. But he brushes that thought away, and goes to answer the door. It's Pinkie Pie. “Well hi Sno— I mean Bulk Biceps,” She blurts out, “is Mommy Munchkins around? I brought her some balloons and cake so she wouldn’t feel sad.”
“No, she’s not home right now.”
“Oh, okey-dokey-lokey, well make sure she gets these whenever she gets back. Bye-bye!”
Bulk Biceps chuckles inwardly as the hyperactive pink mare bounces away. It was a nice gesture, and he’ll be sure to give them to her, but he just couldn’t fathom why she would be sad when she gets to hang out with her friends that often. But he couldn’t dwell on that now, he had training to do.
Unfortunately, in training his wings for flight, he was quite limited. His wings just happened to be smaller than those on that little filly Scootaloo, so wingups were out of the question, mostly what he decided to do was to fly as far as he could, as fast as he could, with as much weight as he could, he figured that’d help him be faster when he didn’t have the weight on him.
After four grueling hours of said workout, he's hungry. He fixes himself some beans and eats quietly. Feeling much better after getting something to eat, he was ready for his second round of training. He didn’t want to look lazy in anypony’s eyes, especially not a certain stallion's. That certain stallion was the only thing getting him through this training and practice, he hardly ever uses his wings, and working them this hard really made them sore so he had to have something to strive towards to get him through it.
Finally, four more hours later, he was done with the routine, surprisingly managing the speed he obtained yesterday while carrying an additional half his weight. The tuckered out pony grabs himself a third meal, noticing Mommy still wasn’t home. That made him smile. He liked it when Mommy was happy, and what makes a pony more happy than being with their friends? He goes downstairs and crawls into bed, letting his mind wander, his body rest, and falls into a rather pleasant dream.
Big Mac stirs, waking from a mostly restful night, still in Caramel’s embrace. Last night, he had spoken the truth, even though he had never admitted it to himself before, but he really was glad he had Mel as a best friend and not a lover, even if sometimes he wished it had certain benefits that it most definitely did not have. However, it was also sometimes fun to mess with him a little, and they both needed to get up anyway, so with a mischievous grin he startes his head towards Mel’s face.
“Don’t you dare.” Caramel turns to Big Mac, giving him an admonishing look.
“Well maybe if you’d get off of me I wouldn’t have to try something so extreme.” He chuckles.
“I thought you liked it when other stallions were on top of you.” Caramel jokes.
“If your little friend were in the right spot, I would.” They both look at each other and start laughing.
“Let’s go buck,” Caramel pauses, “apples on your farm. They won’t buck themselves you know”
“Eeyup.” He affirms with a toothy grin.
The two best friends get up, grab a bite to eat, and head out the door. As they walk towards Sweet Apple Acres, they walk past Rarity talking with a group of other ponies, no doubt gossiping the latest news:
“Wait, his name isn’t Snowflake?” One of the other mares asks, with utmost sincerity.
“Why, no, his name is Bulk Biceps, which I suppose does seem to be quite… fitting. Speaking of which, trying to fit somepony of his physique is hoofs down the worst thing ever! You should have seen how much material it took last time he had me fit him for a suit. At least he’s timely with payments though, sometimes the colts around here take months to even start payments, and then without fail pay the minimum every month. I would be happy to make cheaper items for them, taking less time, and using cheaper material, but these ponies insist on buying things they simply cannot afford.”
“I know what you mean, just last wee—” another mare started, but they had just passed out of earshot, though he liked what he had heard. Timeliness and money-management skills were good qualities to have, especially in a town like Ponyville, where disasters seem to happen left and right on nearly a daily basis. He’d seen far too many ponies tricked by their insurances, having to pay for damages out of hoof, and if you don’t plan ahead and keep an emergency fund you tend to be manure out of luck, and become easily indebted.
Caramel seemed to read his mind, and said, “Those aren’t bad qualities to have, are they? Tell me, is he good at bucking?” Big Mac glares at Caramel, “I mean really, you should ask him to help out on the farm sometime, with all those muscles, he oughtta be a big help. You might not even need me anymore.”
“Nope, dunno, eeyup, nope,” Big Mac responded, “I don’t think I’ll ever not need you, you’re my best friend, and everypony needs a best friend.”
“Watch it with the sappiness, best friend, in private’s okay, but be careful in public. You don’t know how many stallions have tried to get with me thinking our sexualities were reversed, and that I was wasting my time chasing you.”
“Eeyup, seventeen, you tell me every time it happens.” Big Mac grins.
“Actually it’s eighteen now for your information. Thunderlane came by my place not two hours before you showed up at my door last night.” Caramel informs him as they step onto Sweet Apple Orchards, and Applejack spots them.
“Big Mac,” she starts.
“Eeyup?”
“I just wanted to say…”
“Eeyup?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry to everyone, what I did was wrong, what I said was wrong, I know that now. I just, I just couldn’t get out of my head all the stuff that ma and pa always said. I took all their words to be truths, and here I’m supposed to be the Element of Honesty, and I can’t even pick out lie like that, I just feel awful. Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?”
“Eeyup.”
“So, are you two… well…?”
“Nope.”
“I’m straight for your information.” Caramel finally chimes in.
“Oh, so are you seeing anypony, Mac?”
“Eeyup.”
“What do you mean ‘eeyup’? Your first date isn't even until next Saturday, you can’t call that seeing somepony” Caramel butts in again.
“I can’t?”
“Nope” say Applejack and Caramel simultaneously.
“Oh, okay.” Big Mac concedes, “we need to get to work though, these apples aren’t gonna buck themselves, or each other.” The stallions grin, Applejack facehooves.
They get to work, by the end of the day, filling twice as many baskets as they hoped to, then part ways. As Big Mac crawls into bed, and drifts asleep, not knowing how he’s going to be able to wait a whole week, and falls into a rather pleasant dream.
Luna smiles, it isn’t all that often she sees two ponies sharing the exact same dream, especially one so, juicy.
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
Chapter 4: Or Hardly Working?
Big Mac’s Biceps, Now in Bulk
Big Mac lifts his eyelids slowly, the soft morning light surrounding him. He really didn’t want to get out of bed just yet; he was having the best dream, and didn’t want to leave it quite yet if he could get back to it. Luckily for him, he remembered it was Sunday, which means he didn’t have to get up until at least noon, and he knew Applejack wouldn’t be bothering him either: She had walked in on something private on more than one Sunday in the past, and now he was never disturbed. Slowly, he closes his eyes, and tries to return to the dream.
Big Mac opens his eyes and in front of him is an unfamiliar landscape, with nopony in sight. “Bulk?” he calls, and again, and again, yet nopony answers him. Eventually, after looking around everywhere, he decides to look up. There he sees a dark pegasus, no, alicorn, silhouetted by the silvery moon behind her. “Princes Luna, where am I?” Big Mac asks.
“Thou art in our dream; thy name is Big Macintosh, no?”
“Eeyup, but you can just call me Big Mac.”
“Alright, Big Mac, let us explain to thee why we brought thee here.” Big Mac nods. “We have been watching thy dreams, or should we say nightmares, since our release from the moon, and from Nightmare Moon, at first, nothing seemed off to us, and so we attempted to intervene. Thy nightmare, however, was completely immune to our magic, and so we had neither a way to stop it, nor inform you of its difference, until now, that is, when thou entered into your dream.”
Big Mac’s eyes widened, remembering that course he took on Old Canterlot, and how ‘thou’ was singular informal, and how ‘you’ (or more accurately ‘ye’, ‘ye’ was a subject pronoun and ‘you’ was its object pronoun back then) was both singular formal, and plural, and since she had been referring to him with ‘thee’, that meant that ‘your’ was… “What do you mean our dream?”
Luna’s face softened, “My, thou art a clever pony, no?” Somewhere, at another time, in another place, in another universe, a dark unicorn stallion with a sandy blonde mane shuddered, and started looking around scared, fearing something bad was about to happen.
“Eeyup” Big Mac beamed.
“Well, then, let us get to the point.” Big Mac nods again. “Before we tell you why exactly we brought thee here, we would also like to inform thee that we will be sending a letter to Miss Twilight Sparkle today, and we would like thee to speak with her of its contents. At any rate, we assume thee returned to your dreams to reenter the dream thou enjoyed?”
“Eeyup”
“Thou cannot, however return to a shared dream, without all parties returning to it, and so had we not brought thee here the moment we noticed thy return, thou would have returned to thine agonizing nightmare. So awaken, as we will do so ourselves to send a letter through Spike, and go speak with Miss Twilight Sparkle.”
“Eeyup.” The world around him begins to swirl, with light encroaching on the darkness of the night, and the light swallows him whole.”
Big Mac opens his eyes. That could not have been a figment of his imagination, but even if it were, a gentle morning walk to the library wouldn’t be a waste, nonetheless. He walks downstairs, and grabs an orange? It seems his cousins are in town, no matter, he can see them later. He had a little purple unicorn to visit.
On his way there, he saw a certain white pegasus mare exiting the hospital. She didn’t look so good. “Hi Mommy Munchkins.” He calls out, walking up to her. “Are you okay?” he asks her.
“Oh? And why would a young strapping stallion such as yourself take an interest in how I’m doing?” She flirts.
“Well, you don’t look too good, and if you needed time to be with Bulk Biceps, I could cancel our date, I wouldn’t mind. I know what it’s like to lose your parents without a chance to say your goodbyes.” He says.
“Wait, my little Bulkie has a date? Let alone one with a stallion?”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac hopes at this point that he didn’t do ‘Bulkie” (hehe) a disservice.
“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter what your gender, if he’s happy, he’s happy, it’s just, I would have liked to have seen some grandfoals before…” She sighs and looks up at a surprisingly understanding face, and feels a little better, continuing, “At any rate, I still have a few years left in me, but, I feel like he should have a w- uh, spouse before trying to raise foals, you understand?”
“Eeyup”
“But don’t you dare tell him okay?”
“Eeyup… but… he doesn’t know? Isn’t it kinda…” he searches for another word, but doesn’t find one, “obvious?”
She chuckles “Well, not every foal can be born a genius. He thinks that I’ve simply made some friends out of the doctors and nurses, and that we like to have a lot of sleepovers. But please, don’t tell him, I’d rather I do it myself, if you don’t mind.”
“Eeyup, though, if I may…”
“Cancer.”
“Right,” Still curious, but not wanting to be pushy, he leaves it at that, “well I gotta be some place.” He says, then turns toward the library.
As he walks away, he hears behind him, “Don’t you dare think of cancelling that date though.” He smiles at that. He most definitely won’t, he thought to himself. Continuing on, he nears the library tree, and before he even gets close enough to knock on the door, it is opened magically.
“Come on in, Big Mac.” A friendly voice greets him. “Princes Luna relayed a message to me via Princes Celestia.” Walking into the library, Twilight’s home, he sees a table set with three teacups. “Have a seat.” Twilight beckons. He barely notices Rarity standing in the next room.
“Alright.”
“So I’ll cut to the chase. Luna’s special talent depicted in her cutie mark is not exactly about raising the moon, she only became able to do that after becoming a princess. Her special talent is, and always was, dream-seeing, just as Celestia’s is, and always was growing plants, of any kind. In all of Luna’s life, she has never seen any naturally occurring dreams that eluded her ability to persuade and shape the content of the dream itself. That said, she told me that on more than one occasion she has stumbled across what she called,” looking down at the letter, “‘artificial magically induced’ dreams, which are most commonly nightmares. She has absolutely no power over these. Normally, these dreams were overseen by unicorns during the duration. However, a powerful unicorn can enchant a gemstone with a dream ‘template’, let’s call it, that can have a specific target or not, but when close enough to whatever its target, when asleep, that target will normally be forced into the dream template cast into the gem. The more magical energy expended into the gemstone, the further from the gemstone the target can be and still be afflicted. She said that she has seen you have these nightmares on many occasions, when did you start having them?”
Big Mac frowned, he couldn’t have stooped so low as to have something like this crafted, could he? “About a month after I came out to my pa.” Twilights ears went flat against her head
“Oh, Big Mac, you don’t think…” Twilight starts.
“Eeyup. So is that why Rarity’s here, to help look for the gemstone it seems my pa had commissioned?”
“Why, yes darling, it is. Don’t you worry, I will do my best to help find this gemstone. Perhaps I should start with what you have on your person?” Rarity coos morosely as she steps into the room.
“Eeyup”
“Alright, here we go.” Rarity starts her gemstone seeking spell, one of the few spells that Twilight herself couldn’t manage to perform successfully. “Well, the only gemstone on you at the moment seems to be an enchanted gem in the center of your yolk, but the enchantment is a strength enchantment.” Twilight looks at her unsure, “Twilight you know as well as I do that being able to tell what type of magic is used is simpler than mere levitation, and almost all magic training a foal can get drills the feeling of each of these magic types into our heads.”
“Sorry, you’re right, so anyway, I suppose that means your room is our next target, but Rarity, maybe you should keep the spell going as we’re on our way, it might be hidden in town, with a bit magic put into it than most unicorns, we just want to be sure, okay.”
“Absolutely, so Big Mac, are you ready to head back to Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Eeyup”
“Twilight dear? This kind of spell would fall under illusion, would it not?” Rarity says not ten seconds after leaving the library tree.
“It would, why?”
“And would it, say, be possible to enchant lesser gemstones with such a spell, such as pyrite, or fool’s gold?”
“I suppose, but it would take a ton of it to do so.”
“And what if there were several literal tons of it?”
“Well yes, it would definitely be possible, but so much fool’s gold would not be quite so easy to hide.”
“Unless of course if it were about five miles below us…” She looks at Twilight, whose eyes open ever so slowly, like a progress bar showing the speed at which she was processing just what her friend was saying, until she fully opened her eyes in understanding.
“Twilight it took you twice as long to get her point as it did me, but do me a favor, and check to make sure that that’s actually holding the enchantment that’s bugging me. If it’s not avoidable, I’d rather know for certain.”
Twilight nods, and focuses, reaching out to try to touch the gemstone with her own magic, and her eyes betray what she finds, “Big Mac, I will try to see if there’s anything I can do to put up a barrier to block the enchantment, but I’m not so sure it’ll work, are you alright while I work on finding a way to stop this?”
“Eeyup, I’ve lived with the nightmares for years, a little longer won’t hurt.” Upon saying this, he keeps on going back home, leaving two empathetic mares behind him. He spends the rest of the day as usual, his cousins and siblings nowhere to be found, like nothing even happened, which to him, it didn’t, because nothing had changed, and he was going to have to deal with the nightmares again. A small part of him was actually okay with that, because it meant he could still hear his father’s voice from time to time, a voice he missed, despite their quarrels.
Bulk Biceps’ wings were killing him, and he expected as much, that’s why he packed so much training in yesterday, because he knew no matter how much he trained his wings the day before, they’d hurt bad today, because he never trained them. The only time he used them was when he had a family reunion in Cloudsdale, and even then, the second he got there, he landed on the cloud and walked the rest of the way. So he decided to just sit around all day, preparing himself mentally for this next week, having already done his best to prepare himself physically. Speaking of which, he is so hungry he could eat a horse, without even caring about the social ramifications. As he walks upstairs, he hears something, somepony and finally sees a smiling familiar face. “Mommy! You’re home!” he squeals as he tackle-hugs her.
She giggles, and says, “So when were you going to tell me you had such a strappingly hot date? How about this, you tell me all about it, and everything else that’s happened since I’ve been gone over breakfast; I want to hear it all.” He nods and wags his tail, then follows her into the kitchen, and spends the rest of the day catching up, including how Pinky Pie had brought cake and balloons, although, he still wasn’t sure why, but Mommy said it didn’t matter so he dropped it. He had the best Mommy ever.
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
Chapter 5: We'll Be Here All Week
Big Mac’s Biceps, Now in Bulk
This morning Big Mac had discovered that his cousins had not, in fact, come to town, but they had such a big harvest this year that they decided to send nearly a whole crate’s worth of “Oranges and Orange Accessories” as it said on the side of the crate. “Good morning Big Mac, see you later Big Mac,” Applebloom yelps, pastry-in-mouth, “I got some crusading to do before school starts!” He sighs, just being glad that nopony, besides Caramel, that is, knew the real reason he got his cutie mark and what it actually symbolized. After all these years he could still visualize the image of that tasty body paint all over Caramels body, partly marred by dirt that truly just happened to look kinda like apple seeds on his rear. Only he and Caramel knew that his cutie mark truly symbolized chasing stallions. It literally represented that his calling in life was being a colt-cuddler. Big Mac stops reminiscing about his foalhood, and gets to work on the farm.
Just as he had finished up his chores for the day, he notices Applebloom walking onto Sweet Apple Acres, with her head hung low. She spots Big Mac, and walks up to him and asks, “Big Mac, what’s a colt-cuddler? Diamond Tiara told me that being a colt-cuddler was a bad thing, and that you and Caramel were both colt-cuddlers. Is that true?”
“It’s one third true. I’m a colt-cuddler.”
“So that means Caramel isn’t a colt-cuddler?”
“Eeyup”
“And it’s not a bad thing?”
“Nope”
“So what is it?”
“It’s a stallion who dates and marries another stallion instead of a mare.”
“Why is that a bad thing, it’s not like it’s anypony’s business, is it? Why would anypony care?”
“Dunno, ask your sister.” He coolly states as his other sister walks up towards them.
“Ask me what?” AJ mutters, “If this is about certain changes when going up, Big Mac lost that bet. It’s his responsibility.”
“What? No. Big Mac told me to ask you why some ponies hate colt-cuddlers.” Applebloom retorts.
“Oh you are one sick, cruel and twisted pony, you know that.” She huffs at him.
“Eeyup.” He states, grinning ear to ear.
The rest of the day passes with nothing out of the ordinary.
“Clearly only one of you actually heeded my advice to practice. Good job Sno- I mean, Bulk, take a breather. The rest of you whelplings give me fifty wing-ups!” Rainbow creaks that last word, Spike glaring at her. “No offence to any actual whelplings out there.” She stammers, looking down at the young dragon (which dragons of age call whelplings) below her.
“None taken, at least it’s not like you said moltlet in front of a griffon.” Spike reassures her.
“Isn’t that the truth, I made that mistake once, ONCE! Gilda wouldn’t put out for a week!” Dash says, her cheeks beginning to turn a deep shade of red at the realization that everypony here heard her say that, and they were all looking at her. But then almost immediately their attention turns to a certain dark grey pegasus stallion.
“Damnit!” Thunderlane says, apathetic to the stares he was getting “And here I just bought you the tastiest flowers that set me back at least a week’s wage in bits, hoping to ask you out, only to find out you’re not only a filly-fooler, but also griffon-chaser. Not that I really care about that, except that it’s you, and I’ve turned down like a dozen mares because I was hoping you’d go out with me. Now what am I gonna do with these flowers.”
“Twilight could probably use some seeing as the stallion she’d had her eyes on for months is a colt-cuddler.” Spike says, immediately regretting the consequences of what he just said.
“Spike!” Twilight yelps, redder in face than Dash. Bulk looks sheepishly around, shuffling his forehoof in the dirt. Twilight was suddenly blinded by the sight of some very tasty smelling flowers in front of her face. “Wait, what—”
“That was pretty brazen of the brave little guy, seeing as you’re so good with magic that you could probably banish him to the moon without the use of those Elements. But he has a point. I mean, we both found out that the barn doors of the people we had a crush on don’t swing our way. Wanna grab a bite to eat after this?” Thunderlane raises an eyebrow.
“Uh, yea, sure, that’d be nice.” Twilight blushes.
“Alright, stop gawking everypony and give me those wing-ups.” Rainbow Dash scolds “That means you too Thunderlane.”
The rest of the practice goes just fine. After it was all said and done, Bulk Biceps watches as Thunderlane and Twilight walk off together, or rather, Thunderlane hovering alongside her. He turns and walks back to his house, ready to tell Mommy how his day went like every time she’s home when he gets home. He didn’t know what he’d do without his Mommy. He knew everypony had to die sometime, but Mommy wasn’t all that old, so he didn’t have to worry about that for a long time.
Big Mac grunts. It was Tuesday. The day was almost over, but that didn’t matter. Tuesdays never passed quickly enough for him. Ever since Granny Smith realized that she was getting too old to do the bookkeeping (and even before that, to tell the truth, he’s had to double-check the books for years) it fell on him to do them. Granny Smith had taken back up the book keeping after Pa died, and Ma fell ill, but now the torch had been passed on down to him. He hated it, not that it was hard or anything, just tedious. Sweet Apple Orchards produced thousands of apples a week, and only their buyers in Manehatten, Phillydelphia, Maripony, and Canterlot ever bought their apples in bulk. Ponyville was too small for any wise pony to open a grocery store, so they had to sell their apples in the market, just like all the other local farmers. It wasn’t bad selling in the market, but the damned RISER ponies (Royal Internal Service of Equestrian Revenue) requires every business to document where they got their revenue, including the names and dates, as well as how much was purchased, and the price of the products. He understood where they were coming from though, after all of the money laundering schemes that had been happening. He blames the donkeys. Even though that white powdery stuff that looked like sugar that they made from the ‘coca’ plant is not strictly illegal in Equestria, its import is heavily taxed, and those donkeys didn’t like how much they had to pay to get it across the border, so they snuck it in, sold it under the table, and tried to pawn off the earnings as “legitimate” earnings from some other company in Equestria.
After ten grueling hours, he was almost done, just one more number to add. They were one bit short of what they should have had, but a single bit out of these thousands really didn’t bother him, and it wasn’t like he was over either. The RISER didn’t like when they were over, but tended not to mind if it was under 100 bits, their policy being to ignore anything under .01% of profit or 100 bits, whichever was larger. This, however, had only happened at Princess Celestia’s behest. She would rather see a small amount like that be smuggled in illegally, than to hurt the businesses under her rule. Besides, the largest company in Equestria still only had about a 1,500,000, which, by the Apple’s standards was quite a bit, but compared to the whole of the Equestrian economy, was really not all that much, and that business was smack dab in the middle of Canterlot, and everything it does is watched closely by the royal guard.
“You’re all a bunch of slackers!” Rainbow Dash lamentes. “We only have two more practices until the big day, tomorrow and Thursday. Could you at least bring your a-game tomorrow? I still want to beat the record, don’t you? Dismissed!” The tired pegasi wander back to their respective homes, Bulk Biceps being no exception. He wanted to quit so badly, but he can’t. He will not let Big Mac see him back down. A little birdie had told him that she heard Big Mac telling Applebloom he was gonna come watch. Well, actually the little birdie told Fluttershy, and she translated for him. He didn’t understand pigeon. Mommy had made him take a course on bluejay in school, but that’s all the bird he ever learned, and he still wasn’t too great at it. Once he gets home, he eats, and tells Mommy that day’s events, and then went to bed early, two more days to prepare before Big Mac watches his performance.
If Big Mac was going to work, he preferred manual labor, It left him to his thoughts, and let his mind wander. Monday, after Applejack had a talk with Applebloom, she had come up to him, and given him a big hug, and asked him, since he said Caramel was straight, if he had a colt-friend. He divulged, telling her about Bulk Biceps, and how they have their first date on Saturday. She then told him that he should go watch the pegasi refill Cloudsdale’s reserves, that way she could go too, maybe she could get her cutiemark in tornados or storm watching or something. He decided that she was right, or half right. He should go and watch, but there was no way he was going to let her go anywhere near there, she was too small, she’d be sucked up by the winds, and he didn’t want to have to worry about her safety. She had moaned and complained, but he was adamant, and she accepted.
He was kinda looking forward to watching Bulkie (hehe, he just couldn’t get over how cute that nickname was, way better than Snowflake) fly. For the life of him he couldn’t remember ever seeing Bulk fly, or even use his wings for anything like most pegasi do. As the day’s workload came to pass, he stays out in the field working on getting at least one more day’s worth of work in. Normally he spent Fridays putting in two days’ extra work so they have enough stock to not have to work the weekend unless Caramel was helping that Saturday. But since he was out of town this weekend, and he wanted to spend Friday watching the tornado, he had five days’ work to do between today and tomorrow.
“2.3? 2.3?! That has to be some kind of mistake! I worked so hard!” Fluttershy says, clearly distraught.
“Fluttershy, that's a huge improvement!” Twilight commends.
“You did awesome, Fluttershy” Rainbow Dash chimes in.
“No, I didn't. I thought I'd gotten over my nerves, but they still got the best of me! There's no way I'll fly with 10.0 wing power tomorrow! Even Bulk Biceps reached 10, and he can barely even hover like me.” She decries.
“Yeah!” Bulk Biceps beams, not realizing the nature of the conversation.
“So you won't fly with 10.0 wing power. Every bit counts!” Dash adds.
“How would you feel if everypony else was flying with 10.0 wing power and you were flying with 2.5?” Fluttershy retorts.
“Actually, it was only 2.3, and– ow!” Spike starts, before being slapped upside the head by Twilight, clearly not getting it either.
“Well, uh... I'd feel... um...” Rainbow stutters.
“Exactly! Humiliated!” Fluttershy cries, “I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash, I just can't do it!” she finishes before flying off, feeling humiliated.
“It's okay, Rainbow Dash, you've still got plenty of wing power for your tornado. You'll be able to lift tons of water up to Cloudsdale!” Spike consoles.
“Yeah!” Bulk exclaims, tuning the rest of the conversation out deciding to go ahead home, before Rainbow Dash ends the practice officially. He knows they’d not be doing anything else today, and he wanted to keep his sleep up. There was only one more practice session left before the real thing.
Big Mac had managed to squeeze in an extra one and a half days’ work yesterday, so he had to get in another two and a half days’ work today, the same amount he managed yesterday, so he wasn’t worried. He also wasn’t worried about three little fillies being anywhere near the tornado. Before he went to bed last night he had asked Zecora if she would be willing to watch them for the day, and show them how to make some of the safe potions with safe ingredients that she had learned growing up as a zebra in her zebra homelands, paying her in advance for the price of the ingredients.
He had a strange gut feeling that that was what those three should be doing, and of course he had asked permission for them, though he didn’t know Sweetie Belle’s parents so he had asked Rarity for permission, and, well, the orphanage was glad to keep Scootaloo out of their way. He hated those ponies, and he seriously wanted to go adopt her himself. While he knew it would be hard, and those three could get dangerous when together trying to get their cutiemarks, having knocked down the barn twice, he’d rather deal with that than try to keep turning a blind eye to the orphanage’s antics. Unfortunately, the law mandates that single ponies can only have one adopted child. When their parents had died, Applejack had applied for emancipation, successfully, so Big Mac could adopt Applebloom. Granny Smith wasn’t allowed to legally adopt because the government determined that she was unable to care for a child, so he had to do it himself. But maybe, just maybe, if this thing with Bulk Biceps turns out good, he can get married a little early in their relationship so he can adopt her, but he couldn’t get his hopes up to high. He finishes work around midnight, and goes in for some much needed sleep.
This was it, the big day. Yesterday had gone without incident, and he was glad for it, after that practice he felt ready. Bulk Biceps adjusts his goggles, ready for flight. He hopes they can manage the tornado with so many ponies down with the feather flu, but he couldn’t worry, he had to focus on doing his best. He looks around, hoping for any sight of a certain red earth pony. The most interesting thing he sees, however, is Rumble asking Twilight something, she thinks about it, and nods. He still doesn’t see him, and it’s time to start.
Every pegasus takes off, and starts the tornado. Hehe, spinney spinney spinney, Bulk thinks to himself, this is fun. Uh-oh, this isn’t working, this isn’t fun anymore, he thinks, it’s scary. Suddenly, all the pegasi are thrown out of the tornado. This wasn’t fun anymore. He’s rocketed out of the tornado, scared, hoping he wouldn’t hit a tree, when suddenly, he slowed down, he’d landed in something warm, something hard, something muscular, something red. “Big Mac?” he asks, gently being released from his embrace.
“Eeyup.”
“I’m glad you were here to catch me, thanks!” he smiles, blushing.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac smiles back.
“No! One more time! I've gotta know we gave it our all! If I'm going down, I'm going down flying! C'mon, ponies, let's make this happen!” he hears Rainbow Dash yell.
“Yeah!” he shouts in agreement, looking back at Big Mac, both smiling like idiots. Suddenly he hears the horn calling for them to start one more time, he averts his gaze from Big Mac, and flies back up as macholy as he can to start the tornado once more.
Once in formation he drops the macho look, and focuses, putting in his all. It starts to break up again, he hopes Big Mac’s there to catch him again, but suddenly, a green and pink blur starts spinning around too, Fluttershy? This time the venture was a success, and when they finished, everypony was congratulating her. “Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can really fly!” He joins in for a few rounds, but then turns, looking for his warm savior. Big Mac was nowhere to be seen.
Somewhere in the middle of the dangerous Everfree forest, a certain hut lights up brightly, a brief flash emanating from the inside. The flash subsides, and all that’s left is the squealing of three little fillies, two of whom were blank flanks.
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
Author's Note
In the dreamscape, Luna speaks in Old Canterlot, outside the dreamscape, Luna speaks modern Pony.
Chapter 6: Hungry
Big Mac’s Biceps, Now in Bulk
That tornado really was something, Big Mac thinks to himself, as he starts walking back home. He was glad Zecora agreed to keep those three fillies overnight. He was tired, and he just wanted to go to bed. Once he gets back home, he does just that, and lets sleep take him once again. Once again he found himself in a nightmare, and awoke in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, but he still didn’t mind getting to hear Pa’s voice again. He went back to sleep, this time, no dream in sight.
He was woken in the morning by what felt like a blast of magical energy wash over his hooves. All ponies could sense magic that was strong enough including earth ponies. Unicorns felt it in their horns, pegasi felt it in their wings, and earth ponies felt it in their hooves. While the blast felt strange as always, everypony in Ponyville had gotten used to the feeling once Twilight moved in. Nonetheless, he was awake now, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, which was just as well, seeing as it was only a half an hour before he had planned on getting up anyway.
Big Mac trotted downstairs surprisingly refreshed for having missed a half hour of sleep. Once in the kitchen he notices Granny Smith had already finished breakfast. He didn’t even know how hungry he was until he saw the food. “Now don’t you even start chowing down until your sister gets to the table, ya hear?” Granny says. “You can tell me exactly what you have planned today. A little birdie told me you have a date today. It was one of Fluttershy’s star chorus members to boot. So tell me a little about her .”
‘By Celestia’s soft slappable flank,’ Big Mac says inwardly, ‘I was not prepared to have this conversation today.’ He smiles nervously, trying to back away, when Granny pulled him back by the ear, using that powerful innate magic of hers (he wishes his innate magic was like hers, he was just unnaturally strong) that she uses to uproot weed trees with her hooves, like she could grasp it like Spike grasps things. “Alright, alright, I’ll tell you about my date!” She raises an eyebrow, urging him on. “I have a lunch date today, at the café, with a pegasus.” She still has a raised eyebrow. “But, my date… my date ain’t a mare, it’s a stallion.” He squeezes his eyes shut, expecting her to hit him just like Pa did when he came out, or at least start yelling. He feels a hoof on his side, and flinches, ready to take the hit, when he feels her other forehoof on his other side, like she was hugging him. He cautiously opens his eyes to see that she was, in fact, hugging him. “You don’t hate me, or think I’m disgusting?” He ponders aloud.
“Of course I don’t! Why would I?” Granny asks with a look of mild confusion on her face.
“Well, Ma and Pa did. Pa and I had a fight almost right before he… and Ma wouldn’t even let me in her hospital room for fear of bringing in any more ‘sickness’.” Big Mac confesses.
“That’s why you never visited her? And is that why you two were fighting? I’m so sorry Big Mac, if I’d have known, if you’d have just told me, I’d have slapped my boy to high heavens, and had a serious ‘talk’ with his wife that would have included a searing fire-poker.” She sighs, “I bet they told you that I’d be just as disgusted, or more so, didn’t they?”
“Eeyup” he admits quietly.
“Well at least that’s all behind us now, right boy?”
“Nope”
“It isn’t? Why not?”
“Pa commissioned an apparently powerful unicorn mage to enchant an entire vein of fool’s gold under Ponyville to give me nightmares about hell, and how I’m supposedly going there. Twilight just found that out, and she told me she’d work on a way to fix it.”
Granny’s eyes soften at that, “I had no idea sweetie. Now you two go ahead with breakfast. I’m gonna go over to Twilight’s and ask her a couple questions about this vein. And make sure you are nice and presentable for that date, I don’t want you looking like a slob on your first date with Bulk Biceps.” She then turns and walks off. He’d not seen her this spry in years, especially to take a trip to town on her own, but he didn’t question it.
“Eeyup.” He agrees. Once she was out the door a ways it dawned on him that he’d never told her Bulk’s name, and that causes him to grin. She already knew, it seems.
“Uh, Big Mac?” Applejack asks
“Eeyup?”
“Is what you said about Pa, and that pyrite true?”
“Probably, and eeyup.”
“So there is a big vein of pyrite under the town that’s enchanted to give you nightmares about going to that Hell place Pa was talking about, shaming you for being a colt-cuddler, and you’re mighty sure that Pa had it commissioned, but there’s no way to know for sure?”
“Eeyup” he says sadly
“Well then I’m glad Applebloom never really knew either of them. Now what’s this about a date?” she asks with a half-cocked smile.
“Well I’ll tell you over breakfast.” This morning was going great, he hoped the rest of the day fared the same.
“You got it.”
“Bulkie, wake up sweetie, you want to have plenty of time to get ready for your big date today, don’t you?” Mommy called down the stairs.
“Yeah!” He calls back up. He decides to wait for his shower until closer to the time for the date, so he’ll be freshly clean, but early enough before it that he’ll be dry for the date. Walking upstairs, he smells something yummy. He could get used to breakfast if he could always wake up to a warm breakfast, instead of just cereal. After the tornado last night, he was hungry too. “Thanks Mommy.” He says between mouthfuls.
“Now I do not want you eating like that on this date today, okay? And I also don’t want you ordering a big meal. Order something small, and don’t eat it all in one go. You want it lasting the whole lunch. That way you won’t look like a pig. Okay?”
“Okay Mommy.” He says over the three pancakes he had already stuffed in his mouth.
Big Mac looks down at the measly salad he had ordered. He was glad he ordered second though, if he had gotten the meal he wanted, and Bulk would have still gotten a small salad, he would have felt like a pig. That unfortunately didn’t change the fact that he was hungry though. He had forgone his normal between meal snack, because he knew he was going to a restaurant, which was something he didn’t do very often. “So how’s Mommy doing?” He says, trying to break the ice, and then starts freaking out internally, what if Bulk was angry he only used her first name?
“Oh she’s great, she’s hanging out with her friends at the hospital today, and she told me she might be sleeping over for two nights. I’m kinda jealous actually, she gets to hang out with her friends more than I do.” He chuckles.
That revelation hits Big Mac like a brick. He really didn’t have any clue as to the nature of these ‘sleepovers’ did he? He had to quell the urge to tell him though, Mommy was right, it would be best she tell him herself. Would he even believe someone else telling him that? He finishes his salad quietly, listening to Bulk go on about Mommy. He was so hungry, that he started eyeing Bulk’s salad jealously.
FLASH
After a blinding light dissipates, he looks to see Princess Celestia standing there, with her mane looking almost like it was on fire. “Are you Big Macintosh?”
He gulps. “Eeyup… ma’am”
“I’m sorry that I had to interrupt your date, but I need to let you know something, and ask you to do something, okay?”
“Eeyup.”
“First of all, your sister and her two friends are just fine, and they received their cutie marks this morning, almost simultaneously, as well. However, due to the nature of their cutie marks, and their special talents, I have decided that it is not only safer for them, but also everyone around them if I take them for a while, and teach them to control their abilities. They could wreak more havoc than they ever have with these abilities if they don’t learn to control them, or possibly even kill somepony. I hope this is acceptable.”
Finally regaining his senses, “Eeyup, if you think they’re a danger, but if you so much as harm a hair on their heads…”
“It is bold of you to say such words to your Princess, but understandable. Now what I am actually commanding you to do is this: Go to the orphanage, and wait for Sweetie Belle’s parents there. Once together take all the children there to Sweet Apple Acres, feed them, bathe them and keep them from harm. I caged the caregivers there, but didn’t have time to lock the cages magically, only physically, so they may be able to escape. If they so much as take a single step onto Sweet Apple Acres, kill them. I have warned them that that would be their punishment if they were to do so, so do not feel bad.”
“Eeyup, I wouldn’t feel bad anyway, those sick excuses for ponies deserve it, but if I may ask, why is nopony looking at us funny, and what are their cutie marks?” Making note of the fact that it seems the only ponies who even knew the Princess was there were himself and Bulk.
“Nopony is looking at you because I cast a Keller ward. Keller wards make ponies both deaf and blind to what’s going on inside the ward. As for their cutie marks, do you know who Shining Armor is?”
“Eeyup”
“Okay, that’s perfect. Sweetie Belle’s cutie mark is identical to his, save there is an image of a spring on top of the shield. Scootaloo’s cutie mark is identical to my own, with a phoenix burning in magic fire on top. Applebloom’s cutie mark is identical to Twilight Sparkle’s with a zebra-striped mortar and pestle on top of it. It is rare that cutie marks are so complex, and even more rare that part of the complexity looks identical to another pony’s cutie mark, and to tell you the truth, that’s not the only thing that scares me, but right now I can’t afford to let anypony know. I have to go inform Sweetie Belle’s parents now, so if you’ll excuse me.”
“Eeyup,” In a blinding flash, the princess disappears. He calls over the waitress, and orders the meal he actually wanted. “What?” He asks as he sees Bulk looking at him funny.
“If you were hungry, why didn’t just get that?” Bulk asks.
“Cause you got something small and I didn’t wanna look like a pig.”
“I only got something small because Mommy didn’t want me to look like a pig myself.” At that they both chuckle. “You know, the orphanage isn’t exactly empty, would you like a fourth set of hooves?”
“Eeyup.” With that, the waitress brings out his meal, in a goodie bag, he pays, and they walk off briskly towards the orphanage.
Big Mac and Bulk Biceps arrive at the orphanage, seeing Hondo Flanks and Cookie Crumbles standing outside. Big Mac knew them, but, they couldn’t be Rarity’s parents, could they? “Um, hi Hondo and Cookie, you don’t happen to be Sweetie Belle’s parents, do you?”
“Yea, we are, you didn’t know that?” Hondo questions.
“Nope, y’all sound and act nothing like Rarity, and since Sweetie Belle is Rarity’s sister, I had no clue.”
“That’s understandable dear, but, before we gather the orphans, Celestia was in a hurry and told us that you could tell us what Sweetie Belle’s cutie mark looks like.”
“Do you know the captain of the guard Shining Armor?”
“That guy on all the recruitment posters?”
“Eeyup, Celestia told me it looks just like that but with a spring on top of it.”
“Yeah,” Bulk exclaimed, “but those kids in there need us, lets help them.”
After a brief dumbfounded look on the two unicorns' faces, they of course never heard Bulk Biceps say anything other than yeah ever, they nod, and they round the kids up and bring them to Sweet Apple Acres. Granny Smith was delighted to help whip something up for all the children.
By the time all the children were cleaned up and fed, Princess Luna had already risen her moon. They decide to set up makeshift beds in the barn for the children, and Hondo and Cookie offer to stay up to watch the children. Big Mac accepts this offer, and leaves them to it, walking out of the barn with Bulk. “It’s kinda late, and the walk back to your house is kinda far, would you like to stay here tonight?”
“Yeah! I’d like that. Don’t think that means anything is gonna happen between us tonight though.” Bulk jokes.
“Nope.”
They walk into the house, and Big Mac takes Bulk Biceps up to his room, both of them joining under the covers laying side by side, touching, but nonsexually. Big Mac doesn’t get to hear his father’s voice tonight.
Luna frowns in frustration. Next time she goes to the dreamscape, she needed to bring a recording crystal, Tia would love this. She knew she did.
“No need Lulu. I will most definitely remember this. It’s gonna last me for weeks. Tell me though sister, when you saw what this shared dream was about, why did you stay?”
“Why didst thou?” Celestia glares at her sister, clearly not in the mood, or well, not in the mood to deal with her snarky comments. “This is the stallion I told thee about whose dreams are plagued with nightmares that I cannot influence.”
“Interesting.”
“Why is that?”
“He is also the eldest sibling and legal guardian of Equestria’s newest—” At this point Celestia is cut off, being pulled out of the dreamscape. Curious and wary, Luna exits herself.
Big Mac and Bulk Biceps wake gently at the same time, cleaning themselves up, separately, before checking in on the foals. Big Mac notices how tired and disheveled Hondo and Cookie look. “Thanks for watching the foals, we got it from here, you two are tired, why don’t you two head over to our guest room, I’ll show you two where it is, if Bulk can keep an eye on the foals for just a minute?”
“Yeah!”
“Oh come on Big Mac. I’ve had enough after-poker drunken all-nighters I should remember the bed I’ve slept in dozens of times.” Hondo says, Cookie rolling her eyes.
“Except the only bed you’ve ever slept in in that house was mine.” Big Mac smiles wide, Hondo’s cheeks go red, and Cookie looks between them furiously. “I’m kidding.” Big Mac lies, and lets the pair walk off, Cookie thinking that he was kidding. His favorite night was the one where Donut Joe had stayed over too. Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to reminisce. It seems like one of the unicorn colts may be staying around here more often. He had been one of the older foals that was helping put away the hay they’d been laying on last night, and lo and behold, the flank that had been blank not ten seconds ago now adorned an image of baled hay. “What’s your name?”
“Bundle Grains, sir.” The boy says.
Big Mac nods and trots back to where he was standing. Before he gets back to where he was, he sees a royal guard pegasus, so he walks outside, unsurprised to see a Princess at his farm, given the circumstances. What did surprise him, however, was which Princess it was. “Hello Big Mac,” Luna calls, “are the foals okay?”
“Eeyup.”
“I brought a few volunteer guards to watch the children at the orphanage until we can get things straightened out. Celestia told me that the creatures previously running the orphanage said you’d wanted to adopt Scootaloo?”
“Eeyup, but now one other too.”
“As you wish, tell me their name and I will have this guardsman draw up the paperwork for you, you’ve done more than enough for these foals already. You can go ahead and let him stay here as well if you wish.”
“Bundle Grains”
Luna nods, as does the pegasus handling the paperwork. Turning away, he goes to Bundle and tells him the news. Teary-eyed, Bundle tackle-hugs Big Mac, and the rest filed alongside Luna and the day-guard accompanying her. “Do I have to call you Daddy now?” Bundle asks.
“Nope, you can just call me Big Mac, like everypony else.”
“Do I have to work on the farm?”
“Nope, but it’d be nice. Baling hay normally takes us a whole day, but you did it in ten minutes, not to mention that cutie mark that just showed up on your flank. Come to think of it, I think we need to find Pinky Pie so we can plan your cute-ceañera. Bulk, you think you could find her and send her back this way, and if you wanted , come back yourself.”
"Yeah!" Bulk Biceps exclaims, and at that, Big Mac smirks, turning to Bundle and bringing him inside.
Big Mac's Biceps, Now in Bulk
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