Pirates of the Mare-ibbean

   "Right. So. We know the plan?"

   The only thing visible from the guard tower that morning was the sparkling blue Mare-ibbean sea, and the long, sandy piece of shore that led into it. Celestia had only just risen the sun, and the world as the Guards knew it was calm ad still.

   They were blissfully unaware of the blind spot in-between two of the lofty brick towers where two well-known ponies were digging their way carefully through the side of the fortified stone wall. Their tools made no sounds as they tunneled further and further into the already-sizable chasm they'd created.

   "You seem to be a bit of an expert at this," Dock commented. "You knew where the blind spot was and everything."

   "I did some calculations and mapped it out a bit three days ago."

   "Why?"

   "I was bored. Now, do we know the plan?"

   "Yup. Get in, sail out. Shouldn't be too hard."

   Pinkie's chisel broke through the inner wall with a light 'pop'. She giggled. She couldn't help herself. They'd finally broken through the wall. Dock worked with his friend to quietly tear the remaining bricks from their path. The new daylight shone from the aperture they'd created, blinding them briefly.

   Their eyes opened to a familiar, yet unwelcome sight: most of the stationed Guards were surrounding the breakthrough in a clean half-circle, their decorated rifles trained on the pair. Dock sighed, placing a hoof on his face.

   "What did you do, Pinkie?"

   "I may have made a minor miscalculation. Or two." She looked up at the Guards hazily, barely acknowledging their existence. "You know, you shouldn't bring a gun to a sword fight."

   One of the Guards opened his mouth as though to respond, but was quickly silenced by his superior. He was dressed in finer clothing, as was suitable for one in his position.  "Shh! She'll get in your head."

   "Oh, you've heard of me?" she asked with a dazzling grin.

   The captain in question remained stoic. "Silence, imbecile!"

   Pinkie stood and approached the captain, much to her partner's dismay. "No, wait, Pinkie, don't, we're... ugh." He stood, too, and lifted one of his front hooves to his face in frustration. "Yup. We're screwed."

   Pinkie was about the Guard's height, and she glared into his eyes. Then she yawned, and adjusted her hat. "I'm tired of the tough routine. Show me what you got."

   The Guard was experienced in dealing with tricky ponies. It'd be easier to get her out of the way before she did any damage. He placed the gun against her chest and fired.

   She shook her head, clicking her tongue. "Aww. Is the Guardie's gun not firing? Must be the..." She became very serious, and pushed the gun out of his hoof. "...salty sea air."

   The Guard opened his mouth in surprise. How had he forgotten what the air around here did to gunpowder? He'd just been stationed in the Bay. All the other Guards were hurriedly shooting their rifles, but the majority produced nothing but a clicking sound. One poor colt at the end fired, but it ricocheted off the wall in front of him and in a quarter of a second burrowed back into his skull.

   The other Guards took notice of this spectacular, bloody display, and dropped their rifles, drawing their swords slowly from their scabbards.

   Dock approached Pinkie, glancing around at the Guards with a murderous look in his eye, He finally began to speak. "You wanna know... how I got these scars?" he asked, pointing slowly to his badly burned face.

   The Guards surrounding them suddenly began breathing heavily, visibly afraid. For the first time they noticed who they were talking to - however, only one of the Guards had the gumption to say it aloud. "You're... you're Murdock..."

   Pinkie grinned and looked at the stallion next to her. "'Murdock'? That's your treacherous, fear-inspiring pirate name?"

   Dock didn't take his eyes off the stallion who spoke. He spoke with a monotone, as though he was unamused by the fear in the Guards' eyes. "It's my full name," he replied, before addressing the whole group. "A battalion of yours caught me in the South Seas. They destroyed me and my crew. Including my ship." He paused, letting his words sink in. "That's unforgivable." He pulled a short firearm (a pistol is saying too much) out of his greatcoat pocket and locked it to his hoof.

   The Captain of the Guard grinned. "You saw what happened to our rifles. Yours-"

   "-have been kept clean and dry? You're damn straight, they have." He raised his weapon to one of the Guards near the captain.

   Pinkie smiled and shook her head, lowering her friend's weapon to his side. "There's no need for that. They know what we can do. It won't be too hard to just walk over" - she demonstrated - "to over here, and take a ship and leave. It really wouldn't."

   Dock looked at her, and back at the Guards. He thought he could spare the miserable wretches, just because, just to be good for once... but then he thought better of it and lifted his firearm again, firing into the neck of his target, who fell to the ground, spluttering.

   None of the Guards now felt the courage to speak, with the well-known pirate brandishing a firearm in front of them. Except the Captain, of course; he hadn't seemed upset by anything that had happened so far. In fact, the young gray stallion had what looked like a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "And the other one's Pinkie Pie," he said. "Always a pleasure to have two wanted criminals gracing our presence. Charmed, I'm sure." His voice was absolutely dripping with sarcasm.

   "You forgot the 'Captain'," she said, from behind the group.

   "Nonetheless," he continued without turning, "you've got quite an impressive bounty on your head."

   Dock snickered.

   The captain sighed. "Where's she gone?"

   Dock grinned. The captain smiled to himself as he noticed the pirate made the fatal mistake of lowering his gun. "Gone, indeed. Well, I think I'll just follow her out-"

   The captain lunged forward in a fluid movement, followed by the rest of the squadron, and placed his sword firmly against Dock's neck. "I don't think you'll be following her anywhere but hell." He called behind him, "CROSSBOWS!"

   Dock bit his lip and reached for his sword, but his hoof only grasped at thin air. He gasped, and instead pulled his firearm up to the captain's face, but it was batted off his hoof by another member of the guard.

   The captain smiled. "One down, one to go. CROSSBOWS, IS SHE DOWN?!"

   A voice echoed across the courtyard. "She's... she's blocking the arrows, sir!"

   The captain's eyes opened wide, and he turned to the scene playing out behind him. It was true; the pink mare was standing on the maindeck of an impressive galleon, giggling and snorting while deflecting high-speed arrows with her sword... and another.

   She laughed and held the stolen blade in the air. "Looking for something, Dock?" she asked teasingly as she bucked another arrow away from her.

   "Damn!" the captain cursed, and looked back to his prisoner. "Well, twenty thousand bits for a galleon isn't bad."

   As Dock was being forcefully shoved into the back of a reinforced carriage, he cried behind him to the harbor,  "DAMMIT, PINKIE PIE, I SWEAR I'LL FIND YOU AGAIN!"

   Pinkie giggled again, and, as she sailed quickly away, shouted back, "It's CAPTAIN Pinkie Pie!"

----------~€~----------

   She turned from the shore and laughed to herself. She'd be back... much, much sooner than Dock would think. She'd just let the guards rough him up a little, and then she'd swoop in and save the day, and let everypony including him know that she was the better pirate. By far.

   She looked back to the sea... it was beautiful in midday. Its curling and crashing waves, the reflection of the sun on the water, the periodical stillness. She sighed, and snorted again. Murdock. Stupid.

   Before she knew it, she'd hit turning point, and hopped around the ship frantically, securing the hull-ropes and turning the mainsail so her newfound galleon would make it safely back to Cobbled Cove. Speaking of, what was her newfound galleon? Once the ship had been prepared for its change in direction, she leaned over the side of the ship to check its name. The Levd)3ao7 55. Hm.

Oh, no, wait. She flipped her head, changing her viewpoint drastically. The S.S. Lovecraft. Hm. Nope, that wouldn't do. She made a mental note to rechristen it when she returned to land.

   Speaking of... she could see the rocky coast appear in her view.. "Land ho!" she shouted to herself, and collapsed in a fit of giggles. Cobbled Cove was where she was planning on picking up her crew, even if they wouldn't stay long. She needed a bunch of ponies to order around because it made her feel like a captain. Plus, you know, she needed help with the ship.

   Cobbled Cove had been a grouping site for pirates and the like for decades. The high, rocky cliffs on either side formed a large, open-mouthed cave in the very middle, as though it were keeping both cliffs upright. 'Business' of all kinds went down there, from planned assassinations to recruitment to fencing. It was a paradise for those working against the law.

   Everypony knew her name there. Well, duh. Everypony on Earth knew her name by then. But there, it was spoken in whispers, as though she were a member of the League, like Dock.

   Oh, another bad subject. If her look-like-a-hero plan was gonna work, she'd have to get a crew and get back to the Guard base before the rest of the League did. The League would be furious at her if they found out she deserted a fellow pirate.

   The ship beneath her hooves lurched as it came to a rest above the rocky, sandy shores of Cobbled Cove. She looked off the portside and saw a flickering firelight glowing form the mouth of the cave. Somepony was home... let's hope they were in the mood for a robbery.

   Before she could recruit her crew, though, she had to retreat to the hold and see whether there was any leftover cider.

----------~€~----------

   The whispers and laughter being volleyed around the cave were cut short by the intrusion of a certain infamous pink mare. As per usual, her greatcoat was hanging low, a veritable arsenal of stolen weaponry dangling at her side, and her tricorn hat was perched at a dangerous angle on her bright, curly mane. She was walking towards the group with a light, woozy stagger.

   She spoke before anypony else did. "Afternoon, ladies and gentlecolts!" she nearly shouted into the cave. Her voice dropped as she whispered into a random pony's ear, "I took care of your guards out front."

   The pony in question scowled, but said nothing. This failed attempt at a pirate had one good quality: she didn't kill without reason. Or with reason. She didn't really kill at all. The guards were probably outsmarted, tied up, and thrown somewhere.

   She walked over to the fire-circle, around which was seated a motley crew of individuals, ranging from those with great titles to those virtually unknown. She looked around scrutinizingly at the group, eyeing them lazily one-by-one. The silence was deafening.

   Finally, she began to speak again. "I want a crew. I have to take care of a few things on my to-do list, and I need a few ponies to help me get the job, um, jobs done."

   The group just stared at her, although the general mumble of voices had begun again.

   She sighed. "I figured it'd take more than a question to recruit anypony in this stupid place. Alright, three hundred gold bits a pony. Any takers now?"

   One stallion in the back, whose body was covered with intricately cut coat patterns, was finally pushed to speak. "Nice try. We all know you've not a penny to your name."

   She grinned. "No, but with great fame comes great wealth. Plus, there's a little something on my to-do list that'll score m- us quite a bit. Literally," she chuckled, noticing her accidental pun. "But, of course, plan discretion is limited to my crew. And that fancy hunk of a galleon I have sitting out there."

   A crafty, well-traveled young fence spoke up. "You haven't had a ship for years. You lie."

   "How does everypony seem to know about my life? I'm mad that this pirate stuff is so complicated." She sighed. "The only way to find out is to take me up on my offer."

   "Or, I could just walk out that cave and look for myself."

   "Then you can say good-bye to the guards," she said, without batting an eye.

   The dark blue stallion looked back at her, trying to keep the fear from his eyes. He hadn't ever been very learned in pirate gossip, but he did know that this pink pony was infamous for a reason, and that Larky, a guard on duty, was one of his best friends. "You wouldn't."

   "Would you test my bluff, boy?" Her stare stung his heart.

   He thought for a second, weighing his choices. Without a sound, he walked over to the place at the fire circle where Pinkie was sitting, and stood behind her, avoiding the gaze of the other pirates. Another two colts, one wrapped partially in a thick cloak and the other with multiple piercings, walked over to the slowly-forming crew. Then followed a light yellow mare and a tall, thin, sharply-dressed older stallion. They knew a lucrative opportunity when they saw one.

   After a few minutes in the deadly silent cave, Pinkie had amassed twelve very different individuals, all standing behind her, ranging from uneasy to stoic and silent. The othe few dozen ponies in the large cave were looking on with anticipation. Which pony would join her ranks next?

   Most of the older, more experienced pirates refused to follow the pink mare. They knew that anything a pony so well-placed in the League was planning on doing was dangerous beyond reason. The last trip she'd been on ended with half a ship out of an armada's worth and three ponies left. The rest were either killed or about to be.

   She looked around at her mildly shocked audience and grinned, then turned on her hooves and walked out of the cave, head held high.

   Her and her impromptu crew turned collectively, a few conversations beginning to start and a few shouts of laughter echoing around the high walls. The crew was beginning to get familiar with one another.

   She stopped dead and turned, facing the crew and looking them over quickly. Most were slightly taller than her, one was almost afoot taller than her. She began to recite a memorized, oft-spoken speech. "We are joined together by currency. But we are all pirates."

   Some ponies who also knew this part of the Pirates' Code by heart began to recite it with her. "We are bound together by a brotherhood that far surpasses that of our true brothers." The speech was digging into many of the embarrassed ponies' memories, as they began reciting the code by heart. The idea of an upcoming... whatever they were doing was giving some of them a rush.

   "It is this bond that keeps us together, and keeps us loyal. We swear to the League itself that mutiny and abandonment are the last things on our minds." It was becoming a chant now, as the newer pirates were beginning to pick up on the speech.

   "We will fight together! We will win together! And we will follow our captain to the end!" The speech ended in hollers and shouts of excitement, some originating from Pinkie herself. She adjusted her hat clumsily and turned to trot briskly with the other ponies around a huge rock-spire where the stolen ship lay hidden.

   Most of the crew stopped when they saw the galleon. It was indeed quite impressive. Pinkie galloped up the ramp to the balustrade and shouted down, "I don't care about your names! I'll call you by color! Here we go, my friends!" she finished as the crew boarded the ship noisily, making it rock slightly from side-to-side.

   She began calling out orders. "Maroon, on belowdeck handling cannon one! Turquoise, you're up here on sails! Puce, I want you on sails with him! Greenie, harpoon and grappling hook! And Yellow..." she paused, looking at one of three mares in the crew including herself. Her face was still hidden by a veil. "...You can be my first mare. I trust you."

   "Thank you, Captain," she replied in a small voice.

   "Call me that again, First Mare."

   "Captain?"

   She sighed happily, and licked her lips, tasting the salty air on her tongue as the ship was unmoored from the sand and she took her place behind the wheel. Not a familiar face in the crew... just like it had been before. Just the way she liked it. It was good to be back.