Chapters Starswirl was apprenticed to the Grand Archmage, Dream Charmer, in a ceremony in the auditorium at the end of the term. Celestia remained a novice, and while technically that meant they weren't supposed to see each other, nopony really enforced those sort of rules, as long as you didn't get caught en flagrante. She would have given one of her legs to be in his section, under his discipline (she giggled at the thought) though of course Bluesteel Barb was a decent stallion and had mellowed considerably after a few months. However, the Grand Archmage exempted Starswirl from all leadership and teaching duties and assigned him to conduct his research in the teleportation section. His calculations were sound in the opinion of the Archmage, but the Academy made important decisions through consensus and that required more experimental proof, teleportation of objects, longer ranges, virtual experimentation in the Dream World, in which Dream Charmer was the greatest practicioner in history, and ultimately it would require volunteers other than Starswirl. He had been forbidden to attempt further self-teleportations until it had been approved for non-experimental use; he was considered too valuable to lose.
There was also the small matter of professional jealousy. Not every pony was enamored of this wündercolt . Several ponies thought that they saw flaws in his calculations and raised one objection after another. Sometimes the attacks were personal, with senior mages calling Starswirl an arrogant child, a jumped up novice, a mediocre talent who lucked out with a guess, or possibly who stole the idea.
Apparently, her Arcanokinetics teacher, an adept by the name of Comet Crash, was one of those who had a low opinion of Starswirl. His rank was intermediate between that of an apprentice and that of a full member of the faculty.
"Class, what is the key to proper application of kinetic force? Focus! Failure to focus can lead to unbalanced application of force, which can lead to disastrous consequences. It can lead to bleed-off, which reduces your effective force. It can, most dangerously, lead to internalization, which is not only often fatal, it is also disgusting. So when you are working with large masses or apply large deltas against a mass of any size, it is important to keep your focus. You may be distracted by things that are going on around you. Don't engage in conversations, and don't, seriously do not attempt parallelism. Lifting a bunch of small things is fine, but lifting more than one mass of 50 kilograms or more at a time is asking for it."
He levitated a piece of chalk to the blackboard, his black coat and silvery mane rippling slightly. "There are three areas of Arcanokinetics, two of which will be covered in this class. These are Force Projection and Levitation. The third, Teleportation, is insanely dangerous and only an Archmage with many years of experience would attempt it. That or an idiot." Celestia reddened. Everypony knew about her and Starswirl, but she kept her tongue in her head. She was cross, not having slept well. She kept hearing those giggles in the hallway all night, but there was nopony there.
"You know, that new apprentice Starswirl is said to have teleported and lived to tell the tale. I don't know if that makes him a suicidal moron or a damned liar." Celestia's jaw popped but still she said nothing.
"Of course, we could always get it straight from the pony's mouth. Novice Celestia was there after all. Tell us, did he actually teleport?" He leered at her.
She could not trust her tongue, so she just nodded.
"Well then, that settles it. He's a moron." The classroom was silent. Celestia may not have been the most popular of ponies, but she was known to be kind and hard working. The way the teacher was treating her struck them as just wrong. Not that anypony would dare say so, but there was no laughter. Then she head that that tittering laugh she'd heard before in the hallway and last night, whispering outside her door. Her head whipped around but none of the other novices were laughing. They just sat there, watching the horrible scene unfold.
Perhaps that encouraged Comet Crash to go on. "Of course, you could be a liar too. The apprentice liar and his lying filly friend" Celestia's blood ran cold and she struggled to control her wrath. "Maybe you both cooked it up together, and got your classmates to go along with it so you could get into the Academy. Because neither of you deserve it. Especially that jumped up novice coltfriend of yours. I don't know what sort of strings your mother pulled..."
"That does it! Shut the hay up, Adept!"
"It speaks! For a while there I thought I was speaking to an heroic sculpture. You know, the ones that are twice life sized?" He grinned at her furious blush. "You just sit there and take it, filly! This is my class and I say what I want and you nod and say, 'Yes Adept!' or you fail. Maybe I'll fail you anyway. That would be suitable, I let you get through the class all the way to the end of the year then fail you because I don't think you belong in the Academy. And then, you won't be in the Academy! You and that pint-sized..."
"I challenge you, Adept." Icicles could have formed on those words.
"Ho-ho! You know that students can't challenge teachers! I can have you suspended for that! I think I will." Comet Crash chuckled and the mysterious giggling in the back of the room continued, the rest of the students very much dismayed.
"You have deliberately provoked and insulted me, insulted my coltfriend, you've accused my mother of bribery, you've spent most of the class so far denigrating me in the most disgraceful and unprofessional manner, and I have done you no wrong. And you did it in front of all of these students."
"And I'll deny everything and these novices know better than to try to gainsay the word of an adept, don't you novices?" He looked at the seven other students in the classroom who were all looking like they wished to be somewhere else. A female voice from somewhere piped, "She challenged you for no reason! She's crazy! I think she's hearing voices!" Celestia controlled herself, knowing that the auditory illusion was only effecting her. She needed to find the source before she could act on it, otherwise somepony might we think she was mentally unbalanced. If it was indeed Comet Crash doing it, she needed to simply ignore it.
"A bully, and a coward. What sort of adept hides behind his robes when challenged by a mere novice?" She slowly and deliberately reached her hoof up to her horn and flicked it. All unicorns knew what that meant. Comet Crash immediately went from gloating to raging.
"Very well then, Novice! We'll settle this on the sand at midnight, alone!" That was completely against the rules; there were always seconds and witnesses to ensure that there was no cheating, that nopony got seriously injured and if they were that there was medical attention available.
"That suits me just fine, Adept."
"Now get the hay out of my classroom!" She stood up to her full height, scowled down at the adept, levitated her saddlebags onto her back and walked out of the room with as much dignity as she could, with the tittering laughter following her.
______
Midnight found Celestia alone, outside the Arena. She could not open the door herself. She heard hoofsteps from across the courtyard, and presently Comet Crash strode into view. "So, you showed up, eh? Brave... and stupid." He sneered as he opened the ward and mockingly bowed to her, allowing her to walk in first.
As she walked towards the center, relaxing her mind and thinking about her tactics just one more time, she heard the door click shut. Then she was slammed in the back of the head with heat and force. A sneak attack! She hit the sand, dazed and smelling burned mane. He's using fire in a challenge! She instinctively activated her body shield and felt several powerful impacts strike her They were almost powerful enough to breach the shield. If it wasn't for the shield... he's trying to kill me!
She spat blood and rolled to regain her hoofing and face him. "Oh, a body shield, well aren't we fancy! No matter! The Academy, the race of Unicorns for that matter, has no place for a freak like you!" He built power for a heavy strike.
That will breach my shield. She waited for his strike, then concentrated her force against it, using a powerful directional shield to deflect the blast. Then she felt pain in her side. How? Where? Her flank throbbed where the power bolt had struck her, unshielded, and she staggered. She looked around has he built up for another heavy force attack, then dodged as she saw another bolt coming in from out of thin air. He's got an invisible ally! Can this get any worse?
She had to think fast. She blasted down with a small amount of force and kicked up a lot of dust, then started moving. One disadvantage of her size was that it made her a big target, but if she was moving, perhaps Comet Crash would have to break up his strong attack into several weaker ones to hit her. She absorbed her directional shield back into her body and pranced around in as close to a random pattern as she could. She needed to let the dust settle.
Sure enough, instead of one big bolt, several small ones were fired in rapid succession, one glancing off her body shield. Then she saw what she was looking for; a coating of dust settled on her second opponent, and she fired a heavy blast right at it. There was a shriek as the bolt struck home and a small blue unicorn mare appeared as she was being thrown into the wall by the force of the blast. She hit it with a sickening crack and slid boneless to the sand as Celestia watched in horror. She wasn't even shielding!
A blast of heat and flame staggered her, some of it breaching her body shield, but her size and strength allowed her to roll with the force and the heat just crisped some of her coat. Meanwhile, blood started to flow from where the mare lay. "Hold! She's badly hurt!"
"Yes, and when you had her down, I saw you deliver the killing strike with my own eyes!" He shielded against her and turned his head, aiming at the downed unicorn, barely more than a filly. "She's weak anyway. Good with illusion, but she can't even manage to shield while invisible. I'll get a better one and you'll be executed for murdering her. A pretty good night for me, all in all." Power flared at his horn glowed, leveled at the helpless mare.
Too far, there's no way I can get there! Wait. Levitation, the application of force against an object. Quantum tunneling, the tendency for some particles to do things that are basically impossible. Overlay with precognition... In her mind she saw herself dying in a multitude of horrible ways: her atoms scattered throughout the universe; herself turned inside out on the sand, making inequine sounds as she bled at though from a million small wounds; herself embedded in the wall, causing a mass energy conversion that leveled the entire Academy and several blocks around; and many worlds where she stood on the sand between Comet Crash and his apprentice. She picked one of those and pushed herself through reality into it. Her ears popped.
Her shield flared as she deflected the strike high into the night. Comet Crash stared in disbelief, his shield pointed ninety degrees from where it should have been. "And that is how we teleport, Adept." Celestia blasted him with a restrained amount of force, not as much as she wanted to, smashing him in the head, knocking out several teeth and sending him to the sands.
"HOLD!"
The Grand Archmage strode into the Arena wearing her sleeping gown. Celestia immediately stopped casting magic and bowed her head. There was a flash and she went sailing through the air to land in a heap next to the dying mare.
"I SAID HOLD, BY THE MOON!" The red coated mare's flowing gold mane spun as she rounded on Comet Crash in a fury.
"A thousand pardons, Archmagister, but she has slain my apprentice!" Dream Charmer's eyes widened as she glanced at the blue form, then she looked back at Comet Crash.
"Explain!"
Comet Crash spat blood and bits of tooth onto the sands. "I couldn't find Clover anywhere, so I went out looking for her. As I was passing the courtyard, I saw a flash from the Arena. I knew there was no contest scheduled this late, so I ran here and opened the door, and Celestia was battering poor Clover. She was trying to surrender, but Celestia just blasted her down and threw her into the wall. Then she attacked me without provocation!"
The Grand Archmage glanced at Celestia. "And the burn marks?" Comet Crash thought fast.
"I admit I used fire to defend myself, Archmagister. She is very powerful and this was not in challenge, it was life or death." Celestia moaned and tried to get up. She was immediately locked in glowing red chains and a coffle covered her horn, preventing her use of magic.
"She must be a powerful, and capable novice, to have defeated an apprentice and an adept."
"Archmagister, please, this mare is dying!" Celestia tried to focus her eyes but her head was ringing from that last impact.
"And you killed her. I can read your magical signature all over her body. She wasn't even trying to shield." A small, gloating smile was barely visible on the black stallion's muzzle.
"I didn't mean to! I didn't know she wasn't shielding! She was invisible, archmagister! I was fighting a challenge with the adept and his apprentice struck me while invisible!"
"Lies, the rantings of a madmare, perhaps, Archmagister."
"Please save the apprentice, Archmagister! I don't want her to die! Please!"
There was something of desperate sincerity in Celestia's tone that softened the caustic reply that sprang to the Archmage's lips. "I cannot. She is too badly injured. She has massive internal injuries. A physicker team of two could possibly do it, but I cannot by myself, and they will never be here in time. And Adept Comet Crash here cannot physick. He has a block. I know, for I signed the exemption myself when he 'prenticed."
"Then let me help, please! I've read ahead in physicking. I can Delve for you!" The Grand Archmage's eyebrow rose skeptically in response..
"I think you've helped Clover quite enough already, Celestia."
"Please! It's not like I can hurt her any worse, is it?" Celestia's eyes pleaded with the Grand Archmage, who thought for a second and then shrugged. The manacles started to disintegrate.
"Archmagister! It's a trick!" Comet Crash looked agitated as he rubbed his swollen jaw.
"I appreciate your concern for my well being, Adept, but I'm pretty sure I can handle a novice, no matter how murderous. Very well, Celestia, delve." The coffle on her horn disintegrated and Celestia looked into the body of Clover. Broken, no, shattered ribs perforated her lungs, liver and intestines in dozens of places. Jagged edges stabbed dangerously close to her slowing heart. Shock due to blood loss was setting in and her brain was not getting enough oxygen. She needed the lost blood replaced in a hurry.
Dream Charmer took the driver's seat as the Mender, viewing the overlay from Celestia's delving, accepting the diagnostics she was providing, and stimulated the marrow in Clover's skeleton to start producing red and white blood cells at a vastly increased rate. She gathered moisture from the air of the arena and used to replace lost fluids. She started moving broken ribs, first the ones near the heart and then the others, binding them with heat, cauterizing and suturing dozens of wounds, nudging herniated intestines back into the abdominal cavity. Work progressed quickly, with Celestia doing what the Grand Archmage considered to be a highly competent job of delving. Soon, the patient started to stir, groaning with pain. Celestia, as the delver, was responsible for reducing nerve activity, and spent more of her effort suppressing pain messages to the brain as the operation progressed.
They didn't notice as a dozen other ponies entered the Arena. Comet Crash did though, and as several of the novices from his Arcanokinetics class filed in, he glared at them.
The Grand Archmage broke contact with the patient with a grunt, and Celestia closed her delve. Clover was breathing slowly and steadily. "Thank you, Archmagister. Thank you so much. Now please, I'm ready to be taken into custody."
Clover moaned, and opened her eyes. She looked up at Celestia. "Nice shot." Then she looked at the Grand Archmage, who's golden eyes regarded her with concern and curiosity. "Archmagister?" She glanced nervously at Comet Crash, who was looking at her with the promise of certain doom in his eyes. Then she smiled at him. And started to laugh.
"She's suffering from a concussion, Archmagister, and needs rest. Look at the poor filly!" Clover started to recover from her laughing and looked at Celestia.
"I'm sorry, Celestia. You should have just let me die. I deserved it, for all the things I did to you." Then she turned to Dream Charmer. "He made me do it, Archmagister. The illusions, waking her at night with whispers so she'd be short tempered, and just now trying to ambush her in the arena. He said he'd confine me to my quarters and withhold my stipend if I didn't do as he told me, and my kid brothers need that money to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies." She turned her drooping head to regard her master with unconcealed loathing.
"You are addled. Go back to your room and get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning." Comet Crash's eyes blazed death at her, while Celestia reached a hoof out to stroke her mane.
One of the newly arrived novices cleared his throat. "Pardon me, Archmagister. I'm Novice Wood Warden. This afternoon in class, Adept Comet Crash deliberately provoked this fight, and when Celestia lost her temper, he accepted her challenge after saying he was going to fail her no matter how well she did in the class. He also spent a lot of time making fun of your apprentice."
"Archmagister, these students are all in cahoots! This is a ridiculous pack of lies!" Comet Crash looked like he wanted to kill several someponies.
The Grand Archmage seemed as though she was barely keeping hold on her own temper as she looked at the black unicorn. "If that were the case, what is their motive, Adept?"
"Perhaps they don't want to have to take my class." Comet Crash started looking worried rather than just angry.
"So you are saying your teaching is so awful that a half dozen students conspired together, after one day of class, to discredit you by faking a fight where one of them was very nearly killed? And they cast a teleport spell as part of that deception to make sure it attracted my attention?" Celestia stiffened. "It is alright, child, but the signature is unmistakable."
She took a step towards the adept. "I think I know what happened here. You provoked Celestia, Adept. Then you accepted her foalish challenge. You and your apprentice attacked her when she arrived here. She came close to killing Clover because you put Clover in an insanely dangerous position, unshielded in the middle of a battle."
She shut down Comet Crash's incipient denials as her voice grew in power and she advanced upon him. "You decided to finish off your apprentice and blame the death on Celestia! She shielded your attack on your own apprentice by teleporting, taking a foalish risk, perhaps," the assembled novices gasped, "and then she beat your flank hollow."
Her face was now a mask of rage. "Words cannot describe the contempt I now feel for you, Comet Crash. There will be a full investigation, but for now you are to power down and..."
Before she could finish speaking, the adept grabbed an object from his saddlebag and threw it to the ground. There was a sudden wailing sound, like that of lost souls, and something like a black pit opened on the ground. There seemed to be movement within it. "A Tartarus gate!" Dream Charmer's eyes were wide with shock as Comet Crash leapt for it. As he vanished through the gate, he threw a final blast of black spite at his erstwhile apprentice, Clover. Then the gate vanished, leaving behind only a foul odor.
There was no time to shield. Celestia lurched forward over the weak blue unicorn and took the blast full in her side. There was pain, the world spun, and she felt very cold. Then all was blackness.
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Dreamweaver, or Celestia Goes to the Dentist
"Oh, hello! Who are you?" The disembodied voice rolled across a gray, empty landscape.
"I am Celestia. Who are you?" She looked around at oblivion.
"You know something? I'm not certain! I must be a product of your imagination! Or perhaps the imagination of that dark thing that is riding you."
"What dark thing?" Pain spasmed through her and she felt cold all over.
"That dark thing. Still, I don't think that thing has much of an imagination. It's mainly just hungry." The voice had a sarcastic, sing-song sort of quality about it. "If I were you, I'd try to get rid of it. Your friends are trying to help you, you know, but it has penetrated your heart and that seems to be a problem. Inconvenient things, hearts. I'm sure glad I don't have one!"
"I can't see you." She felt around but it was like trying to touch fog. Chilling but without substance.
"How could you see me if I don't even know what I am? Tell me, what am I?" The voice chuckled.
"How am I supposed to know?!"
"You're the one with the imagination, you tell me!" The voice was demanding and childish, infuriating Celestia.
"Fine! You are everything and nothing. You are all things that have never been and could never be. You are the living embodiment of chaos. You are a royal pain in my flank! And you have the power and the inclination to get me out of this mess!" She flailed around in the nothingness. "Alright?"
Delighted laughter rolled across the nothingscape. "HOW WONDERFUL! THANK YOU SO MUCH! Now, I just need a name! Can I have one? Pleeeeeaaase?"
She rolled her eyes. "Your name is Discord!"
"PERFECT! I was afraid you were going to make me some sort of pink, fluffy teddy bear named Mr. Boo Boo who grants three wishes and lives under a rainbow or something sickening like that, but this is going to be so much more fun!" The gray mist started to resolve, bulbous yellow eyes forming first, followed by a grinning, snaggle-toothed mouth, a draconic face and neck with mismatched deer and antelope antlers, bat and griffon wings, a snake-like body with the scales and fur of several creatures, equally bizarre upper and lower limbs, terminating in a fluffy lion's tail. Discord felt around himself with his paw and claw, smiled, glancing at his tail, and suddenly he was holding a looking glass, admiring his reflection.
"Celestia, I have to say, you have absolutely exquisite taste in madness! Hellooo, handsome!" He preened in front of the mirror.
"Thank you, now about this thing in my heart.,,,"
"Oh, the Nightmare? Psh! I am now the master of unreality and it is in my dreamscape! Hmm... what sort of visual would work well here? Ah ha!" He snapped his talons, there was a flash and suddenly she was leaning back in a dentist's chair, light glaring in her face, and Discord leaned foreward, a reflector shining on his forehead.
"What do you think you're doing? Oh!" The Nightmare writhed in her chest.
"Now, Celestia, my reality, my rules. You may well be my creator... my mother? Oh, how splendid! But even though I have the power and inclination to help you, you have to play the game first. And today, the name of the game is Celestia Goes to the Dentist!" There was another flash of light...
CELESTIA GOES TO THE DENTIST by Discord
Celestia sat up in bed, her jaw throbbing. Wait, what am I doing here? She went downstairs and there was a bowl of cold cereal and a note from her mother saying she had to work, one from her father saying he had to work and one from Luna saying she had run off to join the circus. This is a strangely irritating dream. Or perhaps it is a strange and irritating dream. Her tooth throbbed. Do you feel pain in a dream?
She ate her cereal and chewing around the throbbing tooth made it an unenjoyable chore. Mom should have made me some hard boiled eggs. She knows I have a bad tooth. There was another note on the table. "Don't forget your dentist's appointment!" The day is now perfect.
She headed off to the bus to ride to the dentist and there were no seats. Every time they hit a pothole it jarred her tooth, sending fingers of pain into her brain. The pony next to her smelled like he hadn't bathed in a week. She thanked the stars when she got off the bus. As it pulled away, it hit a puddle and she was soaked with muddy water.
"Argh!"
There was a little coffee shop next to the bus stop so she went into it, dripping. "May I use your bathroom?"
"Paying customers only, kid." The thicketset blue unicorn mare looked at her with a flat expression.
Celestia sighed and reached into her saddlebag. "A glass of milk, please."
"Ain't got no milk."
"Um, coffee?"
"Four bits."
"Four bits for coffee?" Celestia was shocked. It was usually one bit.
"Four bits." Celestia rolled her eyes and put it on the counter, her tooth screaming at her she clenched her jaw in frustration. The bits were scooped up and a cup of black coffee was presented.
"Now, where is your bathroom please?"
The waitress smiled. "Sorry, the bathroom is out of service." Then she turned and walked away.
Celestia stood there and counted down from ten to keep herself from blasting the coffee to atoms. Then she grabbed all the napkins in the dispenser, stuck her tongue out at the waitress' back and stomped out, slamming the door. She marched to a garbage can and mopped up all the water she could from her face and mane, depositing the soaked napkins into the can. She then went back and combed her mane in the coffee shop window, sticking her tongue out once more at the waitress as she poured the coffee back into the serving carafe and dropped the four bits into her apron.
Celestia walked the two blocks to the dentist's office, her tooth pounding with every step, her nerves frayed, her temper at a boiling point. She opened the door and a bell rang, somehow at a frequency that matched the throbbing pain in her jaw and amplified it. She moaned.
The receptionist looked up. "Have a toothache?"
"No, I'm here to get a hooficure!" she snapped.
"Oh, then you want Hoof'n'Buff, that's two doors down." The receptionist went back to filing her own hoof.
That tears it. "Now listen you, I've been in agony all day, I've been subjected to any number of indignities, I've been ripped off and laughed at and now you are getting on my last nerve! Of COURSE I have a toothache!"
"Oh." The receptionist shrank back in her chair, a tear forming on one eye. "The waiting room is through there." She indicated the door with a shaky hoof.
"THANK YOU!" Celestia tromped through the door. Then her perspective changed. The world spun and suddenly she was sitting at a desk.
Prima Dona looked down at her cutie mark. Ballet slippers. What a joke! Your cutie mark doesn't help you once you've had a spiral concoidal fracture of the distill tibia. Three jobs in three months. My savings are all gone. My no-account husband has left me. Can things get any worse? At least I can do my hooves here.
The bell rang and somepony moaned. "Have a toothache?" She tried to smooth the last little bit of cuticle.
"No, I'm here to get a hooficure!"
"Oh, then you want Hoof'n'Buff, that's two doors down." Third time today. The dentist really needs a new sign.
She looked up with a start when the yelling begin. "Now listen you, I've been in agony all day, I've been subjected to any number of indignities, I've been ripped off and laughed at and now you are getting on my last nerve! Of COURSE I have a toothache!" The enormous white unicorn with a muddy, wet mane had a crazed look on her face and truly looked like she had been through an awful day.
"Oh." Oh no. "The waiting room is through there." The immense mare stomped through the door, the room shaking. The door slammed behind her. Then the office manager buzzed. "Yes sir?" she said in a small voice, choking back tears.
Fired again.
The walk back to her apartment with the rent due notice on the floor and the pile of bills. The sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. The pain throbbing in her leg. The black cloud over her head, depression bearing down on her. Enough. Tonight.
She walked to the closet, and climbed up on a chair to reach the shelf at the top. She got down the rope. No point in putting it off. I have half a bottle of wine left. May as well watch the sunset.
No. Wait. I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!
It's been a good life, until recently. I really wowed them two years ago at the Poloshoi. The wine wasn't very good, but it did get the job done. The sun set, red rays painting the undersides of the clouds. Pretty. A good last memory. It took a while to figure out how to tie a noose. Easy enough to throw the rope over the rafter, crossing back and forth. That will hold my weight.
Stop... please! You can live with me and my parents! My dad can get you a job at the factory!
The rope was rough against her throat as she climbed on the chair. She watched as the glow of the sun faded into the purple horizon.
Nonononononono!
The chair went out from under Prima Dona's hooves. There was the sensation of falling...
Into a dentist's chair. Celestia was looking up at Discord through a tick veil of tears.
"By the moon! What have I done!?" she sobbed. "Please tell me that didn't happen!"
"No, Celestia. It was a game, remember? A lesson. It wasn't real, but that sort of thing happens every day, all over the world, to real ponies." Somehow, his immense yellow orbs were very sympathetic.
"It has to stop! How can I stop it!?" Tears flowed down the face, soaking her mane behind her head. "Oh, stars and moon!"
"By being kind to ponies, to all people of all species and races, every day, every chance you get, no matter how you feel. No matter what you think of them. This nightmare that is in your heart has a hold on your anger. You have to let it go."
"You're saying I can't get angry anymore? How is that possible?" Celestia's tears were drying.
"Oh, I'm not saying that, Celestia. I'm just saying you have to let go of the anger you always carry around. Your anger with your mother, your jealousy of your sister, and most especially your anger with yourself for being angry with your mother and jealous of your sister."
"I'm not angry with my mom! I'm over that! And I'm not jealous of Luna!"
"Then what is the nightmare holding on to? The anger that you carry around with you makes it easier for you to lose your temper with other ponies. Like I said, hearts are inconvenient. Have you ever visited your mother at work? Have you ever surprised her for lunch? Are you seriously saying you aren't jealous that Luna is your father's favorite? That she's beautiful, exotic and more or less normal sized, while you tower over everypony else and have a plain white coat?"
"That's none of your business!" The cold blackness in her heart froze her to her core as the words passed her lips. She was more frightened than she had ever been before. Tears broke over her eyelids once more as the realization struck home. "Yes, I am angry with my mother! I don't want to have anything to do with her! She almost killed my dad! And Luna took him away from me!! And how can I think these things about my own family? I'm such an awful pony..."
"Hold that thought. Now open up and say ahhh..." Discord leaned forward with ludicrously long forceps. He plunged them down her throat, the cold steel warm in comparison to the ice that consumed her heart. He grabbed something with them, and pulled. There was pain...
The End
Celestia woke up in the infirmary. Her parents were asleep in chairs next to her. Luna was curled up on a blanket on the floor. Starswirl was pacing, looking at a sheaf of papers. She felt very weak, exhausted. But not cold. Not at all. Everything that warmed her heart was here. She smiled and drifted back into sleep.
The dreams she had were a lot more normal than the Discord dream, except for one very strange one in which she was on a bus with everypony was looking at her, and she really had to pee, and everypony knew she did, and were all watching her as though they were expecting her to pee right there. Then she started to wake up, and she really did have to pee. As she roused herself, she heard the voices speaking in hushed tones, as though they didn't want to wake her.
"I've never seen anything like it, Dee. She recovered from a black bolt. She was at death's door for a day and a half. I head out to get some coffee from the break room, then come back and suddenly she's just sleeping normally." It was a voice she didn't recognize, but it sounded like an older stallion.
She heard the Archmage respond. "I was amazed she was able to hold on as long as she did. Maybe it has something to do with her size. She's very resilient, doc."
"I don't think so. It's almost like somepony did something while I was away, but Starswirl swears that it was just him and her family. You know there is nothing we could have done with a black bolt striking the chest. A limb, we can amputate, but the abdomen or the head... always fatal. Until now."
"Well thank the stars, whatever the case. But I have to go fetch the Mistress of Novices. When she wakes up, we'll do what needs to be done quickly. Her parents are still here, so we can fill out all the forms now." They're going to expel me! I suppose I do deserve it, dueling, teleporting, bad attitude in general. Maybe they're going to still my power! The thought of her losing her power chilled her almost as badly as the nightmare had. But at least I'll be able to spend more time with my family, even if I am virtually a cripple.
She fell back into light sleep for a short while, until she heard hoofsteps. She opened her eyes and tried to sit up. That's not happening!
"She's awake!" Her mother ran to her bedside. "Oh baby! How are you? How's my little filly?" Her mother looked like she hadn't slept in days and her face was puffy and reddish.
"I'm so sorry, momma." Celestia tried to raise a hoof to touch her mother's face as she came in to hug her, but she didn't have the strength. "I promise we'll spend more time together from now on."
"Oh, yes darling! As much as we can!" The bedsheets were quickly becoming soaked with their co-mingled tears as Press Force and Luna approached the bedside.
Celestia smiled broadly as she saw them next to each other, bedraggled and exhausted, eyes red from crying. Of course they're inseparable! That doesn't mean dad loves me less or Luna more, but Luna just needs him more. She's just a little kid, for crying out loud. How could I have been jealous of her? "Hey guys."
Luna reached up and put her hooves on both cheeks, a furious expression on her face. "Cellie, no more fighting demons from the pit of Tartarus, understand? Not without me, anyway! You can't have all the fun!"
"Sure thing, kiddo! Next time there's a demon to beat up, you'll be the first pony I call, promise!" Luna jumped up and kissed her cheek, then made way for her father.
"Honey..." he couldn't say anything else, he just choked up, and so did she and they were just crying together, him resting his head on hers, for about a minute until the Grand Archmage cleared her throat.
Press Force stepped back and she could see that Dream Charmer had been joined by Stellar Conjunction, the Master of Novices. He nodded to Star Gazer who nodded back; they were professionally acquainted as the green unicorn was also the Academy's foremost astronomer. His brown mane flicked as he turned his head to look at the Grand Archmage.
There was a clatter of hooves and a ringing of bells, and suddenly Starswirl appeared in the doorway. He glanced at Dream Charmer who nodded, then ran to Celestia's bedside and kissed her gently and quickly on the lips, just standing and holding her hoof, looking into her eyes. "Don't you ever almost die on me again, 'Tia."
"I'll do my best, Swirly." Dream Charmer cleared her throat once again, and Starswirl turned to face her, still holding Celestia's hoof.
"Novice Celestia, the entire Academy is grateful for your aid in rooting out the corruption and evil that had wormed its way into the faculty. That creature was no natural unicorn. Perhaps he was one once, but his soul was bound to the Pit. That's why he couldn't physick. He fooled me, well and truly, into thinking he had an arcane block due to a head injury he suffered in his youth. That has been known to happen, but I should have been suspicious. I apologize that I put you, Clover, and all the other students in danger." She bowed her head, briefly, then continued.
"Of course, you willfully violated multiple general orders that apply to all novices, and these violations cannot be ignored. You challenged a member of the faculty, no matter how demonic he may have been. You fought in the arena without a physick team. You fought in the arena, as a novice, and not for the first time from what I gather of your prowess. You came very close to killing Clover because of these actions. And you teleported, despite explicit instructions from me not to do so. I hope you understand that you can no longer continue in the Academy's Novice Program." Starswirl squeezed her hoof.
Celestia sighed. It was as she had expected. "I understand, Archmagister. I just hope you aren't planning on stilling me."
"Not if you behave, but don't test my patience." Dream Chaser glanced over at the Master of Novices. "What coursework is Novice Celestia currently enrolled in?"
Stellar Conjunction consulted the Book of Novices. "Archmagister, she is enrolled in Arcanokinetics, Physicking, Arcane Defense and one elective, Detection and Identification."
"And this represents the balance of her requirements for the Novice Program?"
"Detection and Identification is not required for completion, Archmagister, otherwise, yes."
"Very well. Physicking: she assisted in the operation to save Clover, and performed admirably. Mark her as passed." A quill flicked on the page. "Arcane Defenses: she defeated an apprentice and a Darkfoal, working together, on the sands of the Arena. Pass." A small scraping noise filled the otherwise silent room. "Arcanokinetics: she safely teleported in the middle of a battle with an active shield. Pass, with an asterix for insane risk-taking. Drop her from the elective; I'll teach her all she needs to know about identification and detection."
Celestia had a problem keeping her mouth closed. Luna's mouth swung agape and their parents eyed one another with a small grin. Starswirl was positively beaming.
"Celestia, contingent upon your parent's consent, since you are under the age of eighteen, I am offering you an apprenticeship. Unlike Starswirl, you will be working with novices, and working as a teacher, not a researcher. It appears that there is an opening in the faculty." The Master of Novices suppressed a chuckle. "You'll have two or three weeks to convalesce and receive apprenticeship orientation; if you need more we'll make arrangements. Your stipend will be raised to forty-five bits a week. You will receive training from me, personally, alongside Starswirl for twelve hours a day on Tuesday and Thursday and you will teach and manage a section of novices all other days." Starswirl grinned madly at her, and she did her best to return the sentiment. "You will be subject to my personal discipline, and you will at all times control that temper of yours. You will not teleport again under any circumstances, including saving your own life, mine, your sister's, anypony... a miscalculation could kill hundreds of ponies. You are still a filly, and your heart is in the right place, so I will forgive you just this once. If you do it again, I will still your magic, and no mistake." Her golden-hued eyes glittered with the threat. "Do you accept this apprenticeship?"
"Y-yes, Archmagister. I accept your generous offer, if my parents grant their permission." Am I still dreaming?
The Grand Archmage turned towards Press Force and Star Gazer. "Sir, madam, do you give consent to your daughter's apprenticeship?"
Press started to nod but Star Gazer broke in. "Promise... no, swear to take care of her first!" Mom!
Dream Charmer smiled and bowed her head, raising a hoof to her chest. "I, Grand Archmage Dream Charmer, of the Royal Academy, do hereby solemnly swear to do all in my power to ensure that no harm befalls Celestia while she is my apprentice. I will love her as I would my own daughter. I give this oath freely under the light of stars, sun and moon, and to this end I pledge the power in my body, the blood in my heart and my soul immortal." There was a pulse of power that swept the room and her eyes briefly glowed.
Celestia's family took a step back, except for Luna who was grinning from ear to ear. "Wow, that was cool!"
The Grand Archmage chuckled. "Yes, I suppose it was. But that's what you get when the Grand Archmage makes a sacred oath." She winked at Luna who winked back, and then raised her eyes to Star Gazer. Celestia's mother swallowed, then nodded assent.
Dream Charmer turned her head to Celestia. "We'll perform the apprenticeship ceremony when you are better. For now, spend time with your family, and rest. When you are well enough, the hospital will release you and you can convalesce at your home. We'll talk about your ordeal later, when you are stronger. For now, rest and enjoy your lovely family. But first, is there anything I can do for you, Apprentice Celestia?"
"Yes, Archmagister. I really, really need to pee!"
Everypony laughed, and the only pony who laughed louder than Luna was Dream Charmer.
Celestia had recovered fully from the Darkfoal's nightmare curse within a month. The doctors weren't certain why, and attributed it to Celestia's remarkable magical power. The dream creature she descried as "Discord" was obviously the result of a young imagination and a powerfully reactive immune system. Later, it seemed odd to her that when only three of her wisdom teeth came in, but that wasn't really all that unusual.
True to her word, she spent more time with her mother, which seemed easier now that she and Starswirl were officially a couple again and spent a lot of time studying together. They would frequently visit the Royal Observatory together to have lunch with Star Gazer, though she did seem rather distracted by her experiments sometimes. They also managed to get pick up Luna from school a few times and took her to the Royal Museum. She was especially fond of the classical weapons and armor exhibits. She stared at the phalanx of earth pony statues from the Battle of Thermapony exhibit, imagining herself standing with the 300 against the draconic invasion.
Now that she was twelve, Luna had started to grow taller also, but not at nearly the same rate as Celestia. She also seemed to retain something more of normal pony proportions, without the long tapering legs and neck that her older sister was blessed with. She was as tall as a full grown mare, while at the same age, Celestia was as as tall as a large stallion.
In some ways, this made her life more difficult than Celestia's. Adult stallions, and some mares, would sometimes approach Luna, assuming her to be an exotically beautiful adult when she was actually an exotically beautiful child. Most of them were surprised and politely bowed out of conversation when she opened her mouth, but there were a couple of stallions who didn't seem to mind too much about her age, claiming to want to be "friends", and one that seemed positively fascinated. That one grabbed her and kissed her and tried to get her to come to the park with him, but fortunately one of Press Force's co-workers saw them. They arrested him when he woke up in the hospital with four broken legs.
One time they went to surprise Star Gazer with lunchtime visit, only to find she was having an audience with Princess Platinum herself.
______
"So, Professor Star Gazer. You are certain?" Princess Platinum felt the sickness of fear growing in her stomach. The throneroom had been emptied except for a few necessary and trusted servants so that the recipient of the Solar Fellowship at the Royal Observatory could relate her latest findings. Torchlight glinted off polished granite and gem-encrusted accouterments of office.
"Yes, your highness. The last seven winters have been mild in comparison with the one that is coming. We shall have snow on the ground from September to May. Perhaps even into June. In the depth of the winter, it will be so cold that most of the apple trees will die. Ponies will freeze to death in their homes and livestock in the barns unless a great many preparations are made." The cream colored unicorn with the lavender mane regarded her monarch with a pitiless gaze that allowed for no possibility of error. She was certain.
"But the year after, it will be better, right?" Platinum ran figures in her head, wondering how many of her subjects would survive the coming crisis.
"No, your highness. This next year may be the last spring we ever see." The fear and horror in Star Gazer's hear only barely crept into her voice, but it made the Princess want to hide under her throne. Wake up and it was all a dream and here's the morning paper, your highness.
"So. This is it then? Can nothing be done?" The Princess stared at the Royal Astronomer, her white coat ashen under her silver mane, her garnet colored eyes wide in shock.
"To re-ignite a dying star? I am certainly open to suggestions, your highness." Tia's not even started high school yet. Luna is still in grammar school. They are going to die and I can't do a damned thing.
"Suggestions? Suggestions... I take it nopony in the Observatory had any suggestions." The monarch was weighing her options. Even faced with the ultimate disaster, this one did not go down without a fight.
"No, your highness. Some of them refuse to believe these findings, but the majority agree with me. Convection is slowing down in the star's heart. Our world will die in the next two years."
"Has the Academy been informed?"
"Discreetly, through Stellar Conjunction. We don't want widespread panic. The archmages have met and concur that the my observations appear to support my conclusion, but nopony has any idea of what to do.
"Then perhaps we should ask somepony who isn't in the Academy or the Observatory." She struck her staff to the ground. "Scribe!"
A dun colored functionary wearing the trappings of a royal scribe cantered up to the princess, a scroll case, pen and inkwell suspended in a field of red. "Take this down. People of Unicornia, a crisis unlike any other has struck our kingdom, our entire world in fact, and all unicorns must pull together to come up with a solution. We need a spell. A spell that will warm the sun so the sun may warm the world, our crops, and ourselves. Otherwise we will all be dead. Any suggestions are welcome. The Grand Council will convene at court tomorrow and every day until the solution is found, or until our sun dies, and we with it. There is no point in panicking. There is nowhere to run. We fight now against our doom, and we win, or we die. I expect all unicorns to do their utmost. If you are not able to work on a possible solution, work to support those who are. Until such time as the crisis is resolved, I declare martial law. Rioting, looting and the theft or destruction of food will be punished with summary execution. There will be no disorder. Signed into Law this day, Princess Platinum, Ruler of Unicornia, Defender of Magic, etcetera, you know the rest."
The scribe stared at her in utter horror. "You did write that down, did you not?" He nodded, his mouth unable to work. "Then have a copy made for each city, town and village in the kingdom, have it sent immediately, with a detachment of guards, and post it in the square. Read it aloud every hour for the next week. If anypony has an idea, they are to approach a guard and they will be brought here to court to present it. That means anypony, even if they are a child, even if they are a prisoner. Do you have a suggestion for a spell to re-ignite the sun?" The scribe shook his head no. "Then I suggest you help me find somepony who does."
"Yes, your highness!" The scribe finally found his tongue and ran towards the scriptorum at top speed.
"Perhaps a cup of tea, professor?" Platinum clopped her hooves together.
"Your highness, as you have decided on immediate public disclosure, may I please tell my family now? I don't want them to hear about it from the town crier."
"Certainly. There will be plenty of time for tea tomorrow, and the day after, until we produce a solution."
"Your highness gives me hope that a solution my be possible." Star Gazer bowed, tears in her eyes at the thought of having to tell her children. Press Force had already been told; she could not keep it from him, not when he begged to know why she had been crying herself to sleep. He had agreed with her that nopony else could be told and he kept himself cheerful for the children's sake.
But what if a solution was possible? What if somepony came up with a brilliant idea? But everypony knows that hope is the cruelest emotion.
How do people react to an official government announcement that the world is coming to an end? It depends on the individuals, one would suppose. So when rioting broke out, it wasn't that the entire unicorn race lost control of themselves; perhaps fewer than one unicorn in twenty joined in when the arsons, break-ins, robberies and the occasional murder broke out throughout Unicornia. The Grand Council was quickly gathered, but many of the strongest mages in the Academy were deputized in a riot control capacity.
Celestia was shocked, saddened and horrified when her mother came by the Academy with Luna and told her about the slowing convection in the sun's core, but it confirmed her and Starswirl's worst suspicions about the worsening winters. Luna was just of an age when she was able to come to grips with such things as the inevitability of death, but this was simply too much for her to take in, and she broke down in hysterics. Celestia physicked and sedated her to prevent her from hurting herself, and the Grand Archmage granted her permission to stay with her sister at the Academy for the time being.
When the riots broke out, Celestia was ordered to report to the Royal Guards and put herself under the command of Captain Thunderhoof. Grand Archmage Dream Charmer and Starswirl were required at the Grand Council along with the rest of the stronger theorists. Celestia was less of a precision instrument and more of a sledgehammer, and no good idea could save them if Unicornia was a burning ruin.
Celestia stopped a guardsman outside the castle. "I have to find Captain Thunderhoof! I've been deputized!" she yelled over the roar of carts moving, gates being raised and lowered and the general hubub of large numbers of ponies preparing for combat.
"He's over where the wagons are, miss! Just look for the biggest unicorn you... I mean, the second biggest unicorn you ever saw." He smiled sheepishly at her and ran off to report to his own officer.
She trotted to where there were a dozen wagons parked. They were flatbeds and right now they were being loaded with barrels and sandbags, as well as some food, medical supplies, ropes and other assorted militaria. There was indeed a very tall, handsome dappled gray unicorn with a pure white mane under his silver helmet directing the efforts of the loaders, ensuring that the right mix of gear would be available in each wagon. "Captain Thunderhoof?" The officer looked up. "I'm Apprentice Celestia, from the Academy! I was told to report to you!"
"Healer or Battlemage?" He had no time for small talk.
"Both! I'm the Grand Archmage's apprentice!" His eyebrows rose at that.
"Then you stay with me and do as I tell you! I'll brief you with the rest of the unit in five minutes, but right now we need to finish loading! I need three barrels of caltrops, three hundred sandbags, a physick kit, and two hundred feet of rope loaded onto each wagon!" Caltrops? Ew.
"Yes sir!" The barrels were quite heavy and the guardsponies were having some difficulty lifting them with the proper balance of forces. They were trying three-pony lifts and it was difficult to coordinate properly, so work was going slow. If one of them broke or spilled, there would be four-pointed spikes spread out all over the courtyard and somepony would get hurt.
Focus... The two hundred kilogram mass was no more than she had practiced with at the Academy. Well, not much more. Actually it was pretty darned heavy. But she retained her focus and accepted a bit of bleed off to ensure that she wouldn't internalize the work being done on the barrel. She pressed down and up and spread the force out on a broad base to maximize stability. She added power gradually because she didn't want to throw the barrel up in the air, just lift it, and she found she was easily able to manage. Up it came above the lip off the wagon bed, then she added a small vector to push the barrel over the wagon, and then slowly released. The wagon springs creaked. One down, thirty five to go.
The guards, including Captain Thunderhoof, stared at her in amazement. Then the officer nodded. "I think you may prove to be useful, Apprentice Celestia. Please carry on. You guardsponies, get to work loading the other gear and leave the heavy lifting to them whats can do it! Briefing in five minutes so hop to it!" He trotted off to deal with some other inefficiencies while Celestia methodically loaded barrels of caltrops and the other ponies loaded bundles of sandbags, rope, medical supplies, water buckets, whatever else they may need to respond to the emergency.
It wound up taking her six minutes, but the briefing hadn't started yet so she just stood at the back of the crowd. Thunderhoof walked up to the front of the group and created a map display using light illusion. Very detailed , Celestia thought with appreciation. "Guardsponies, we have roughly four hundred rioters in three major groups and small groups and individuals scattered around town engaging in petty crime. The largest group is here by the marketplace. There's looting going on there." An area lit up red. "The second group is here in front of the castle." A red zone was illuminated in front of the main castle gates. "They aren't looting, but they are in an angry, dangerous mood. Somepony apparently spread the rumor that the royals have known about this for years and are now just letting the general public know. These foals believe that to be true and they're engaging in sedition as well as rioting. This third area," a larger zone lit up, "has bands of ponies going around burning stuff. These ones have either lost their minds or have drunk to the bottom of their hard cider barrels after hearing the bad news."
"Guardsponies of Unicornia, I am going to order you to do some hard deeds today. Without public order, the Academy eggheads won't be able to come up with a solution to this problem and you will die, your friends will die and your family will die. You are fighting against anarchy for the survival of the world. May the stars, moon and sun grant us victory today!' There was a ragged cheer.
'When we encounter rioters, we will issue one warning. If the rioters do not disperse after the warning, you will attack them with everything you have. We are heavily outnumbered, so we stay together to try to gain local superiority. We use caltrops to close avenues of approach and funnel the mobs. Use the sandbags to build strongpoints. Stay close. The kingdom is under martial law and we will summarily execute any rioter we take on the spot. I don't care if it is your MOTHER out there! If she is rioting, show her no mercy." There was a growl from the assembled soldiers, and Celestia swallowed hard. What have I gotten myself into?
"There may be innocent ponies caught up in the mobs. Do your best to discriminate between ponies trying to get away and rioters trying to escape justice. We are all going to have blood on our hooves today. Let's try to make sure it isn't innocent blood. And the big girl here is on our side! DO NOT ATTACK HER! Because she'll knock your flank out if you try! Now! Form up by squads and go to your assigned wagon! Drivers, get hitched up! Lieutenant Star Spear! Make ready to raise the gate! Apprentice, come here and stand by me, I'll assign you targets of opportunity. You're going to be my heavy artillery. I hope it won't come to that, but... I think it's going to come to that." He looked up at the Lieutenant. "RAISE THE GATES!"
The Lieutenant sounded a horn and the winch started raising the gate. The first squad marched out and one could hear the crowd outside, yelling. Celestia accompanied the captain in front of the second squad. As she came through the gate, she saw a crowd of more than one hundred unicorns angrily protesting, holding up signs that read "TELL THE TRUTH!" "WHEN DID YOU KNOW?" and the seditious and metallurgically inaccurate, "TARNISHED PLATINUM!" They looked frightened, confused and angry.
"Apprentice Celestia, this is the group I need to handle with the most care. These ponies are not criminals, they are just frightened and upset, but they are potentially the most dangerous precisely because of this reason. I know a lot of those ponies. Mr. Apricot and Mrs. Hayshawl run the grocery store next door to my mother. They aren't dangerous by themselves, but any mob is dangerous. I'd like you to try to disperse them before we get involved." Additional squads were filing out and lining up, the soldiers looking worried and uncomfortable. They knew a lot of these ponies as well. And they were outnumbered two to one.
"Thank you for giving me this chance, Captain. I think I can take care of this."
A mob is a group of faceless individuals. If you want to break up a mob, give the members faces. She reached out and knew the names of a dozen ponies in the front row with a basic identification spell. She prepared the Voice.
"I AM CELESTIA, APPRENTICE OF THE GRAND ARCHMAGE, WHO EVEN NOW IS WORKING ON A SOLUTION FOR THE PROBLEM! RETURN TO YOUR HOMES AND STAY INSIDE UNTIL YOU RECEIVE WORD THAT THE STREETS ARE SAFE!"
A few dozen of the ones in the back started looking around, questioning the wisdom of even being here, probably not for the first time. The Voice commands attention and obedience from the weak willed and three unicorns detached themselves from the main group, heading back to town.
"MANY OF YOU KNOW ME! BUTTER SCOTCH! I SHOP AT YOUR CANDY STORE EVERY WEEK! WHY ARE YOU OUT HERE? AUTUMN DAY! WHO IS WATCHING YOUR FOALS? SILVERBRUSH, GO BACK TO YOUR PAINTING!" As she named each pony, she cast an illusion of light above their heads, singling them out in the crowd. The illuminated ponies looked around, startled and suddenly ashamed, almost naked in a crowd where they had previously been anonymous. The fight started to go out of the mob as ponies started moving away from the spotlights. Some of the others in the back who had been faltering turned and ran.
Celestia looked at the crowd and shook her head. She dropped the Voice and walked slowly up to the center of the group. They were no longer angry, just frightened. "My friends, why did you come out here? Did somepony tell you that the princess withheld information? I give you my word that she only found out yesterday. I know because my mother, the astronomer Star Gazer is the one who told her." There was an angry muttering in the crowd at that. "And I only found out last night, perhaps an hour before you did. My mother wanted to be positive of her findings before she went to Princess Platinum."
She walked around, addressing as many ponies as she could. "WHEN MY MOTHER TOLD THE PRINCESS ABOUT THE SUN RUNNING OUT OF FUEL, THE FIRST THING, THE FIRST THING THAT PRINCESS PLATINUM DID WAS ISSUE AN ORDER TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE PROBLEM WITH THE SUN AND ASK FOR YOUR HELP!" She stopped pacing as the crowd had gone silent.
"Why are you angry with her? She trusts you. She didn't keep anything from you. She needs... we all need your help. We all need to help each other. Please, go home. Protect your food and your property from looters. That's who the guards are going out to deal with, the ponies who are wrecking the city. But you are the princess' loyal subjects." The pony with the TARNISHED PLATINUM sign glanced down at it and dropped it in the street. Then all the other signs were discarded one after another and the crowd started to disperse.
Butter Scotch walked up to Celestia. "I'm sorry, 'Tia. I just didn't know what else to do."
She smiled warmly at him. "Then go make a batch of caramels, Butter Scotch. I love caramels. We'll get through this." He returned her smile and bowed to her, before turning and trotting home.
Celestia returned to the Captain who was beaming at her. "Thank you! That was very well done indeed! I wish I could 'prentice you myself, you'd make a hay of a cop!" She grinned at him, but then her smile faltered as did his when they smelled smoke blowing in from town. "Right. Company! MOVE OUT!"
The wagonwheels started to squeal and the guards marched to the second objective, the marketplace.
When they got there, it was a madhouse. There were dozens of ponies breaking into stores, stealing food, clothing, bits, bicycles, Celestia even saw two unicorns levitating a couch through a broken store front window. The shopkeeper followed them out, yelling and trying to use his magic to get the couch back. One of the thugs turned and shot him in the foreleg with a blast of power and the shopkeeper fell with a cry.
"First squad! Intercept!" Six big guardsponies charged after the couch thieves, who dropped their booty and ran for it. The sergeant stopped the squad and ordered them to open fire. One of the looters got around the corner out of line of sight but the other took a shot in the hindquarters and fell, stunned. The guards returned with him presently and dropped him in front of the captain. Similar scenes were taking place throughout the district. There was no organized effort on the part of the looters to fight the guards, only to escape with whatever loot they could.
In about fifteen minutes, the district was quiet. Celestia and some of the combat medics were treating the shopkeepers and other innocents who had been hurt. Several civilians had been killed before the guards got there. The looters were mainly young stallions, though there were a few mares. One of the mares had been caught with saddlebags full of foal formula and was begging for mercy, saying that she had only taken what she needed for her foal.
"Celestia, can you Delve?" She nodded and scanned the looter, then looked in her face.
"Captain, this mare has never foaled."
The mare spat at her. The spittle landed on her hooves. Celestia turned and walked away.
"Foal formula sells for twenty bits a can. It's one of the best things you can steal," Captain Thunderhooves said quietly as he walked up to Celestia. "Thanks for telling me the truth. You know why we have to do this. I'm not killing them, I'm keeping the rest of us alive."
"Yes sir." She swallowed, hard, her throat dry as sandpaper.
"Ropes!" The prisoners, their horns coffled, started screaming, begging, pleading, swearing as the guardsponies tied nooses and put them around their necks. The eleven prisoners were dragged to lampposts, storefronts with overhangs, trees, whatever was available, and they were hauled up to strangle horribly over the course of several minutes, kicking, pissing and voiding themselves. Signs that read "LOOTER" where hung upon their twitching bodies.
Celestia looked at the mare who had stolen the foal formula. She had a blue coat, green mane and tail, and her cutie mark was a candy cane. Her body twisted in the light breeze. Celestia bent over and vomited in the street.
"Time to be sick later, Apprentice. We still have work to do." The Captain's voice was husky. "THIRD AND FOURTH SQUADS, STAY HERE AND SANDBAG THIS AREA. SPREAD CALTROPS SO THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY IN AND ONE WAY OUT OF THE MARKETPLACE. THEN STAND GUARD UNTIL RELIEVED! THE REST OF YOU, MOVE OUT!" They marched towards the smoke, into the gates of hell.
The smoke was thick and there was the sickly-sweet smell of burning flesh. Screams could be heard through the pall, as well as laughter. They passed several bodies, twisted and mutilated. "Form echelon left!" cried the captain and the order was passed down. The first squad stopped and squads deployed to the left to cover a broad frontage. "Raise your shields and expect heavy resistance! Skirmish order!" The squads dispersed to reduce the chance of the same blast killing more than one guard. "Celestia, stay with me. Stay close! TROOPS, ADVANCE AT A SLOW MARCH!" The squads carefully crept into the gloom.
After a few minutes, the smoke thinned and more bodies were apparent. Some were mares who appeared to have been molested and then killed. Celestia was shocked beyond anger when she saw a young filly. Then there was movement in front of them. "HALT!" The Captain waved Star Spear forward.
The Lieutenant yelled, "This is the Royal Guard! You are hereby ordered to disarm and surrender yourselves! If you do so, you will be given fair trials! If you res--" A fusillade of force beams blazed from the smoke, several of them bouncing off Star Spear's shield, knocking him to the ground. A sergeant helped him to his hooves and he returned to the commander, a little shaken up. "There's your answer, sir."
"Kind of what I expected. Do me a favor and don't take any prisoners, alright?"
"Yes sir!" The Lieutenant saluted his Captain, nodded to Celestia and turned around. "FIRE AND ADVANCE BY ECHELON! ADVANCE!" Bright bolts of power flew out from the guards and struck into the gloom, many of them reflecting off shields or hitting obstructions, but some of them finding a target as evidenced by the cursing and yelling that followed. As one squad advanced, the one next to it fired. They would take ten steps, then level their horns to fire a volley as their neighbors advanced. Fire started coming from one flank and a trooper went down, smoking from the impact. His squadmates turned in the direction of the new enemy, and the line started to extend instead of advance. They were not in a good position, with no real idea what they were facing, but it was obviously a larger group than theirs.
"Celestia! We need to pull back before we get enveloped! Can you fire into that section to the right of the bank? That's where the crossfire was coming from!" She nodded and built up a large force attack, leveled her horn and thought about the little filly left dead on the street. A plume of pure white erupted from her horn that seemed thick as a telephone pole, the air screaming as it ripped its passage to her target. Whatever building the outlaws were firing from disintegrated into splinters. There were screams of agony and fear followed by a cheer from the guardsponies.
"Shield, quickly!" The Captain concentrated all of his force forward and Celestia did as well. There was a massive onslaught of power from dozens of angry unicorns that peppered their position. "Damn, there must be over a hundred of them!"
Celestia cast a very general area identification spell. "Closer to two hundred, sir. Mainly concentrated to our front and to our right but there are ponies moving out to our left and right further back. I think they're trying to surround us."
"This wasn't just a mob! They lured us out! Somepony planned this! If we're taken out, a force like this can take the castle!" More bolts of power light up their shields. "Pull back and laager up!"
The drivers got together and started tipping their wagons over, forming a defensive position at the end of the street. Six of the wagons went over, spilling caltrops and sandbags into the street. Celestia and Captain Thunderhooves pushed the clatrops into piles, giving the retreating guards ponies a path to fall back into the relative safety of the laager. Three guardsponies remained behind in the street. The captain looked grim. "I just wish I could see something!"
"Sir, I can fix that but they'll be able to see us too!"
"That's OK, they can wipe us out firing blind; we need to know where they are so we can kill them before they do that!"
There was a river that flowed past the town and Celestia could see a bend of it from her position, so she scooped out a large ball of water weighing several hundred kilograms, moved it over the worst of the fire, and dropped it. Steam started issuing forth and there was a loud hissing. She did this several times from behind the cover of one of wagons and soon all the fires in this section of town were out. The air was still smokey and full of steam, so she pushed a mass of clear air from over the river through the town. The smoke started to thin out and then the could see the bulk of their opponents.
A brown unicorn with a black mane and an eyepatch seemed to be the center of attention. A dozen shields were raised to defend him at that part of the line by ponies who were under the line of fire. Other ponies flanked, opening fire on the laager as he directed. As the smoke cleared, his eye caught sight of Celestia and he ordered a storm of fire at her. No less than fifty unicorns started pounding her position, none of them as powerful as a well trained novice, but sheer numbers made it very dangerous. She ducked behind a wagon.
"He's good! I think he's got us!" Celestia's heart sank as the confident Captain essentially told her they were going to die in a very matter-of-fact tone of voice. Part of one of the wagons exploded and splinters rained down on several of the guardsponies. "We'll never make it back to the castle! There's no way to breach that defense, no even with your power, Celestia! He'll just wear us down with numbers. You did well, kid. Really well." He looked very sad. "I'm sorry I failed you."
Celestia thought about the unicorns back at the castle. If the Princess knew about this, she could send the whole Academy out to deal with these bandits, but there was no way to get a message to her. Maybe if I teleported, surely Dream Charmer would understand... no. I swore, no matter what, not to teleport. Not even for Luna's sake. She thought of that filly, used by the bandits and left for dead... except this time it was Luna. NO.
She felt a wash of cold run down her spine, and suddenly she wasn't frightened anymore. She wasn't angry, she wasn't worried. She was a machine. She looked at this as an Arena problem. The goal was to apply sufficient force to incapacitate your opponent by breaching his shield or avoiding his shield altogether while preventing him from breaching your shield. Direct fire and main force favor your opponent heavily, so subtlety, or something like it, was called for. Examine the resources available. Thirty seven guardsponies, ten wagons, six on their side and four upright, twenty-odd lengths of rope, a thousand empty sandbags, twelve barrels of caltrops which haven't been spilled yet...
"We aren't dead yet, Captain." Celestia glanced over the laager and marked a reference spot with her horn. Then she popped her head over and shot a regular bolt which bounced off the large shield, ducking the return fire. She looked at the Captain. "A hundred yards, give or take?"
"Just about. What are you going to do?"
"Tell the guards to keep their heads down." She stared at a barrel of caltrops on one of the upright wagons for a few moments, then concentrated. A caltrop, approximately five hundred grams of iron... After about ten seconds, she levitated the barrel and it started to rise. She pushed more power into it and it moved faster up and out, until it was flying over the middle of the battlefield at a good clip. It sailed towards the brown stallion who said something and the shields in front of him were redoubled by his regegade mages.
The barrel sailed over his head and the ponies in the mob started to laugh at Celestia's poor marksponyship. Then she nudged two heavily enchanted caltrops together, causing an arc flash in the center of the barrel.
A magical arc flash is one of the worst things that can happen in a magical enchantment. You did not want two enchanted objects to come into physical contact unless both of them had completed closure. You especially did not want two enchanted metal objects to come into contact when one had a positive charge and the other a negative charge. "Ah won't 'ave to wrat a lettere 'ome to your parens, yes? Ah will jus' put whats left of you en ze envelope...'
When the two caltrops touched, they vaporized, expanding to 67,000 times their solid volume in a few microseconds. Millions of watts of energy were released in an instant. Caltrops in the center of the barrel melted and the barrel burst with the force of a thunderbolt. The renegade's shields, pointed ahead instead of up, intensified and contained the force of the blast rather than defended against it. Molten metal and burning splinters moving at supersonic speeds shredded and incinerated dozens of the bandits closest to the leader, which included most of the officers.
The intense light of flash blinded many of the bandits and also two guards who poked their heads out to see what was going to happen, but fortunately they were far enough away that their eyesight recovered after a few hours. Two of the tipped wagons were knocked over onto the guards huddling behind them, but there were no serious injuries caused. Eight buildings were destroyed and more than forty damaged. The shrapnel killed and wounded ponies up to fifty yards away from the blast. Caltrops and pieces of caltrops were found in streets a half mile away.
Of the brown stallion himself, nothing was ever found. His body had been converted into a gas by the heat and pressure.
Celestia could barely make out the shouting coming from the guards over the ringing in her ears, but the look on their faces was astonishment, vast relief, and something close to... worship? A moment ago, the guardsponies had been facing a well-led force with confidence, a plan and a five to one advantage. Suddenly, they faced a panicked mob with no leaders, a ruined plan and perhaps a three to one advantage.
"Holy horseapples, Celestia! What did you do?!" The Captain rubbed his ear with a hoof. "Remind me not to get on your bad side! COMPANY! FORM LINE, FIRE AND ADVANCE!"
The final butcher's bill of the day was seven guardsponies killed and a dozen seriously wounded. The eleven looters hanged in the square were joined by forty eight stunned and wounded bandits who tried to surrender. There were a hundred and two bandits who never got the chance to surrender. A few dozen escaped, but it was unlikely they would be able to cause any more trouble.
The fires were doused and injured civilians and guards were cared for. The dead guardsponies were loaded into the wagons and brought back to the castle with honor. The dead bandits were burned in the crater that marked their leader's strongpoint. And on the march back to the castle, the guards sang dirty songs and cheered for Celestia and Thunderhooves. But one cheer, one of very ancient origin started to be repeated above the others eventually, with Thunderhooves joining in.
"CELESTIA! IMPERATRIX! CELESTIA! IMPERATRIX!"
"Captain, your report is quite disturbing." Princess Platinum leaned forward on the throne, speaking to Thunderhooves in private audience. "To think, an organized rebellion, right here in the Capital! You have our eternal gratitude for putting it down, but it seems obvious that this required considerable planning. There is obviously somepony who was waiting for the moment to strike!"
"Yes, your highness, and I don't believe it was the pony with the eyepatch. He and his crew were mercenaries, from what intelligence we've been able to gather from the bodies and the interrogations before we strung the survivors up. If one of the officers had survived, you could have spared them in return for information as to the source of the money that hired them, but the Grand Archmage's Apprentice sort of made that impossible." Thunderhooves grinned like a skull on a spear.
"Yes, about that. So you are saying that if it wasn't for this Celestia, that the Royal Guard would have been cut down like wheat and the castle would have been largely defenseless in the middle of a rebellion?"
"Best damned war mage I ever saw, your highness. Some of the boys actually started hailing her as Imperatrix. It's been a very long time since THAT happened." He failed to mention that he joined in on the march home.
"Indeed. And you say she dispersed the crowd in front of the castle simply by shaming them?" The grey-coated, silver-maned mare leaned back, put her elbow on the edge of the throne and scratched her chin. Her platinum and sapphire crown sparkled in the torch light, complimenting her sapphire eyes.
"It was something to see. And she's just a kid! She's not even cutied yet, your highness!"
"Perhaps her cutie mark will turn out to be a massive explosion. Still, this certainly deserves an award of some sort. Oh, and you and your men did splendidly as well, but I appreciate you giving credit where it is due."
"Technically, your highness, if a pony is hailed as Imperator or Imperatrix, they are supposed to receive a Triumph." His eyes danced merrily.
"What does that entail, exactly? Our ancient Roanan history is a little rusty, Captain."
"A parade, where she rides in a gilded chariot to receive a laurel wreath from you, with the public lining the streets praising her and a slave whispering in her ear to remind her that she is just a mortal." He grinned. The princess was kind and wise, but she was a bit on the staid side.
"That seems a bit much, and we haven't had slavery here for few hundred years. And none of our gilded chariots would be big enough, from what we are told. Do you think she'd settle for a medal?"
"I'm sure she won't think she deserves it, your highness. She's very shaken up right now. I sent her to bed in one of the guest rooms, but she needs to talk to somepony when she wakes up. I'm an old vet and I've never seen anything like what happened out there. She personally killed at least seventy-five ponies, and probably closer to a hundred, but there isn't enough left of them to be able to count individuals." The princess gasped and put her hoof to her mouth.
______
Knock knock!
"Celestia?" The voice was female, cultured and unfamiliar. Good. I don't want to speak to anypony I know right now. I don't want anypony to see me.
"Come in!"
The door opened and Princess Platinum entered the room. Celestia sat up in the bed with a start and started to clamber out to make a curtsey but the princess stopped her with a gesture. "Get back in bed this instant, young filly! Oh, by the moon!" Platinum was shocked, not only by Celestia's size, but by the smell of smoke, the grime, the bloodstains on her coat and most particularly by her red, puffy face, where she had been sobbing uncontrollably into a pillow. "Forget what we just said! You need a bath this instant! Get up, come on!" The princess waved for Celestia to follow her as she walked out of the room.
Celestia got up, momentarily too overwhelmed to be depressed. The princess addressed her as she led her through the castle. "Captain, we mean, Major Thunderhooves was discussing with us whether to give you a parade or just a medal, but we suspect that a hot bath is the reward you truly crave!"
"You are a wise and benevolent ruler, your highness!" Platinum chuckled and started yelling for the maids to draw a bath. It was then that Celestia realized that the princess had led her to her private chambers. She stared at the general opulence; full length mirrors, walk-in closets, a canopied four-poster, and everything in silver and white marble, it took her breath away. "Your highness... you do me too much honor!"
"Oh piffle! Look, now that we're in my chambers, call me Platinum. I seem to owe my kingdom and my life to you, and that makes me rather grateful. And to tell you the truth, I need somepony to be friends with and it seems to me that you might be a good friend to have. And in any case, there's only one bathtub in this castle that you'll fit in."
"Your, er, Platinum... I haven't been able to fit in a bathtub since I was twelve." For a moment, the horrors of the day were banished as troops of maids brought buckets of steaming water into a chamber next to the royal bedroom. "It's been showers and spongebaths since."
"That simply will not do!" The princess walked into the royal bath, gesturing for Celestia to follow. Celestia did so.
I died in that battle. I died and went to bath heaven. Everything gleamed. The marble floor gleamed. The silver mirrors gleamed. Even the mares standing by with soap, brushes and towels gleamed. But the thing that gleamed with the most gleaming gleamingness that ever gleamed was the enormous porcelain bath full of gleaming... um... steaming hot bubbly water.
"In you go, Celestia!"
She looked down at herself, realizing how little she herself gleamed at the moment. "Y... Platinum, I think I need to take a bath before I can get in that tub." Platinum's laugh rang off the walls and even the attendants were having a problem keeping their faces straight.
"You go ahead and soak for a few years. Lavender and Sandalwood will get you clean and dry when you are ready and then, if you please, come meet me in the throneroom. And there you call me your highness and I'll use the royal we and all that nonsense. Ladies, I would like for her to be most presentable." The ladies-in-waiting bowed and smiled as Celestia gingerly dipped a hoof into the hot water. Hot... but not too hot. She eased herself in. Oh holy moon! As she lay back and the filth and matted blood started to lift out of her coat, as her mane floated free in the sweet bubble bathiness, as the heat of the water penetrated stiff muscles, accentuated by the finest bath salts and oils, Celestia involuntarily released a moan of ecstasy that echoed in the chamber. The attendants giggled while she blushed, and then Platinum poked her head back in and grinned. "Bathgasm? Happens all the time!" Then she disappeared while Celestia submerged herself from embarrassment.
Press Force bowed to Princess Platinum. "Your highness." He backed away from the smiling princess and Star Gazer approached the throne.
"Your highness." Platinum nodded as she curtsied. They were well acquainted, but this was after all, a formal occasion. She reached behind and guided Luna forward.
Luna looked up at Princess Platinum with wide eyes. "Your highness."
Princess Platinum smiled down at her cheerfully from her throne. "What a charming child, and so tall! Goodness, I've never seen a blue coat so dark and fine. Come here child, let me touch your mane." Luna took two steps closer to the throne and Platinum reached down to stroke her head. "Your hair is most fine as well. I am certain that in a few years, you will have stallions lined up court you."
"I hope so, your highness. That would mean you will have fixed the sun."
The Princess did not lose her smile. "Of course we shall, young one. Have no doubt. You will be fending off swains for years to come."
Luna smiled for the first time since she heard the news of the sun. "Thank you, your highness. Why do we call you 'your highness' anyway? Is it because your chair is so high up?"
The room was silent until Platinum started to laugh, then the rest of the crowd joined in, Luna's parents doing so with great relief. "That is precisely the reason, Luna."
Sandalwood stuck her head into the throne room and whispered to a page. The page trotted over to the throne and nodded as the princess looked towards him. She cleared her throat. "Now, if everypony will please get to their places, it appears our guest of honor is recovered from her ordeal. Major, please come stand beside the throne." Thunderhooves trotted over and took up his position while Celestia's family lined up to the right. A cordon of guardsponies lined the approach to the throne on both sides. Dozens of other unicorns from notable families filled the room.
Sandalwood ducked out of the throneroom and then opened the door fully. The page cleared his throat. "Announcing the Ladies Sandalwood and Lavender, and Celestia, Hero of Riverside!" He slammed a staff against the ground and the two ladies-in-waiting entered, followed by Celestia. Her mother gasped when she saw her and there was a general muttering in the room. Even Princess Platinum was taken aback.
Where before ponies had seen an overly tall, pretty and somewhat geeky teenager, this creature who strode into the throneroom was regal, imposing, relaxed and quite frankly, stunning. Celestia had never worn makeup before, and now with her painted lashes emphasizing already large and beautiful eyes, a hint of rouge bringing out her fine bone structure, her mane expertly coiffed and woven with rosebuds, her coat curried to a creamy consistency and her tail brushed until it shone, walking with her head high and proud as Sandalwood and Lavender had instructed her, she seemed an entirely different pony. Far more mature and possessed of a beauty which seemed not of this world.
The effect on the guardponies, who already deeply respected her and were grateful to her for their lives, was electric. "HAIL CELESTIA!" cried one of the sergeants, his eyes glistening with tears, his heart and soul at that instant lost entirely to devotion to this singular unicorn. His mates picked up the cry. "HAIL CELESTIA! CELESTIA IMPERATRIX!"
The gathered nobility applauded politely, hoove clopping together. Some of them applauded more than was strictly necessary, with cries of "HUZZAH!" "BRAVO!" " WELL DONE!" and one very heartfelt "YOU SHOWED 'EM!" which boomed from the throat of old Baron Silverlocks, a retired Colonel of Hussars who once ranged with his regiment against dragon incursions. Most of the nobility, however, did what was required for politeness sake and no more, for one out of concern that they would be making too much of a previously unknown commoner, but also because they were adding Celestia to their political calculus and it was difficult to scheme and make a ruckus at the same time.
Platinum could not help but wonder if this really was such a good idea. A hero to rally the ponies was certainly a very important political asset, but when she saw how the guards were looking at Celestia, the worship in their eyes, she felt a stab of alarm. No, that's just jealousy and beneath me. This child has no ambitions of her own and has as good a heart as has ever beaten, from all reports. But somepony else, perhaps the Iron Barrels or the Goldleafs, will certainly try to use her, to turn her. Just look at her. She looks like a goddess, mind like a steel trap and she certainly inspires loyalty. But she is still a naïf, a child in the political woods; she doesn't know the depths of treachery that the nobles are capable of. I must yoke her to me, for the good of Unicornia. This is no time for factionalism. And I must know who the traitors are...she will help me there if she's as quick witted as I think. I have to make sure the guards and I see eye to eye on all this. Right now, she has the momentum even if she doesn't know it.
Princess Platinum rose from her throne and applauded as well. "Celestia Imperatrix!" The noise from the nobles swelled as the calculations changed. Major Thunderhooves allowed himself a small smile; the princess didn't stay on top by being a dummy. "Celestia, we give thee leave to approach the royal throne." The formal mode of address, and the minimal imperative to still assert her authority. Smart. Let's see what else she has planned.
Celestia approached the throne at a stately pace, her head held high, almost eye level with Platinum from where she sat three steps up, and when she was at the bottom step, stopped, placed her left foot forward, and bowed her neck so that her muzzle nearly touched the carpet. She stayed there for a full three seconds, until Princess Platinum spoke. "You may rise." She did so, relieved that the ladies-in-waiting had spent a half hour rehearsing the proper forms with her.
"We are deeply grateful to thee, Celestia, for thy bravery and brilliance at the battle of Riverside. Thou hast saved the lives of our guardsponies, for which we cannot thank thee enough. These bold stallions mean more to us than the royal jewels. In token of the esteem in which we hold thee, we present thee with this small token of thanks." A page approached, his magic supporting a black velvet pillow upon which a thick band of gold, inset with a massive sapphire, rested. "This torc comes down to our treasury from ancient times, and is purported to have belonged to Ponyeidus of legend, the first unicorn able to speak with the pegasi, who ended the Peloponnysian War peacefully, and was given this by the grateful ponies of Marethens. Come closer, so that we may adorn thee."
Celestia walked up two steps and then assumed a seated posture so that the princess could reach her neck. Ah. Forced into a very subordinate position indeed! She doesn't even know this is deliberate. Thunderhooves looked around at the room and saw nobles whispering to one another. Gallop Goldleaf isn't talking to anypony; his plans are already set. But Dressage Ironbarrel is chatting up a storm. That strongly suggests that the families haven't already decided together how to deal with Celestia. Good. She's safest if they think her wholly loyal to the princess.
Princess Platinum used her magic to levitate the four pounds of gold but reached around Celestia's neck to attach the chain with her hooves. On most ponies, it would have been nearly a breastplate; perhaps the ancient heroes were larger than life after all, for it seemed to fit Celestia like it was made for her. There was even a leather lining thoughtfully riveted to the back of it to keep it from rubbing the coat of the breast.
The princess kissed Celestia gently on each cheek and looked into her eyes. "Thank you for saving us all," the princess whispered quietly. "We will talk later in private, but for now the show must go on, my dear." Celestia nodded silently. Platinum backed up to sit on the throne and then it was time for Celestia to speak. "I thank you, your highness. I did only what was my duty."
"We are gladdened that thou doest thy duties so capably. In further recognition of thy fealty, loyalty and capability, we grant thee Green Bend manor and the village of Ryeville from our demesne in fee simple." Celestia's eyes widened at that and her mother gasped. Even Major Thunderhooves was taken aback. A hubub of whispered conversation swept the room; fee simple meant that the property belonged to Celestia outright and there was no tax or rent due to the crown. Only the most trusted and loyal ponies would be granted such independence and in practice only the most ancient families held property in fee simple. "Arise, Equesse Celestia. We give our assembled gentry and peers leave to welcome thee to their society."
Ryeville... who does she border? Thunderhooves thought furiously and looked around the room as the audience applauded, many of them dumbfounded, but none moreso than the honoree. He bespied a pretty white unicorn, petite and delicate with green eyes and a golden mane who was blushing furiously and applauding without much enthusiasm. Glitterhooves! An old family, once with a large estate but which had been forced to sell off much of its land to the crown after a series of poor investments several generations back. A fee simple on her border means that, unless Celestia is uncommonly greedy, rents will be much cheaper on farms in Ryeville and she may lose a fair number of earth pony farmers willing to leave their traditional haunts for lower taxes. So, a rival, but a weak one and from all accounts too proud to be an effective schemer. This grant also means that the acclamation of Imperatrix has been formally accepted. She will have only one duty to the crown; to provide and lead troops in battle.
"We are done with the formalities now, my friends. However, we do have one small task for the newest member of our court before the festivities may commence." She clopped her hooves together. That's my cue, thought Thunderhooves. He levitated a bag of coins taken from what was left of the bandit command post in front of the princess. "This gold was taken from the treasury of our late enemy. Equesse Celestia, you are a sorceress of considerable talent. We ask that you take it and hold it, and do what you can to scry the source for this blood money. We know it will probably take you several days to determine the origin of the coin, to sort out the chain of ownership. Once you have an answer, you will let us know. We do this publicly to give the traitor or traitors one chance to save their lands from escheatment. Their heads are, of course forfeit for the lives they have cost us, but this would spare their family from impoverishment."
The room was utterly still, the nobles looking at each other in shock. "Oh, did you not realize we knew of the treachery? That one or more of you conspired to buy the throne from blood-soaked mercenary hooves?" The princess rose and glared around the room, silently. "There were survivors who talked, at least until the major here hung them." Thunderhooves glowered at the assembly. "But ponies in pain are apt to say things that may not be true to spare themselves further suffering. Therefore we will ask that the one pony we know for certain is innocent and loyal determine the truth of this matter for us." She smiled at Celestia. "Won't you, my dear?"
"As my princess commands." Celestia bowed her head, shaken and uncertain exactly what the princess meant. Gold was not like something created by or worn by somepony; it did not retain much of an impression from previous owners. But the nobles probably don't know that. Somepony may either confess or attempt to steal it. Or give themselves away in other ways, their hoof being forced. Perhaps... Her horn glowed and the muttering increased as she quietly cast a location spell upon the gold and the bag. She would know exactly where it was over the course of the next week until the spell wore off. "There, the glamour is set. As you say, your highness, it will take time for the overlaid impressions to be sorted, but that will start the process. I will start work in earnest tomorrow, by your leave." There was a convenient pocket sewn into the leather lining of the torc; she stuck the purse into that.
"You have our leave and our thanks, most loyal friend. Now, everypony else, enjoy yourselves. I even call upon the guilty parties to do so; everypony has a right to a hearty last meal, don't you think?" She clopped her hooves and ushers came out with tables and chairs, setting up a buffet. The assembled peers spoke quietly, much more subdued now than they were at the beginning of the evening as they considered the treachery, the battle and the hero who now was covered with honor and was so obviously the princess' favorite.
The evening was a multicolored blur to Celestia. She remembered meeting dozens of nobles who congratulated her, most of whom would not have deigned to notice her only a day before. Silverlock seemed genuine enough, gruff and insensitive but utterly himself, when he spoke of admiring how she had "blasted the bloody blighters to smithereens." She shuddered at the memory of the battlefield. Don't think about it. Compartmentalize. That's what her father had suggested. Easy enough to say.
She rolled in the bed and wrapped the blankets around her body. It was cold, even in the castle's guestrooms.
"Hey! Gimme those!" The blankets whipped off her body and she felt the mattress bounce. She rolled over and was face to face with her grinning coltfriend.
"Swirly, we can conserve heat better if we stay together under the blanket." His eyes glittered as he threw the covers over both of them and snuggled up close to her. She sighed, placing a foreleg over him and drinking in his warmth.
"Maybe we should present that as a recommendation to the Academy. All ponies will be required to sleep in one pile under a giant blanket." He waggled his eyebrows, looking up at her.
Celestia giggled. "You know, lover, there are even better was to generate heat."
"You don't say?" He leaned forward to kiss her on the lips, then slowly worked his way down her neck. She reflected that the one thing that in particular was unfortunate about their mismatched scale was that he could not kiss her on the lips while making love to her. Can't have everything , she thought, as she lay back and closed her eyes.
______
"No Starswirl, we are not going to propose mandatory, heat-generating orgies to the Academy, you ridiculous thing!" She stroked his mane as his beard tickled her chest, their love-sweat already cooling on their bodies.
"Why not? It's the best idea yet! At least it would be something that would have some practical short-term benefits!"
"And what will happen to the poor earth ponies and pegasi and griffons and dragons and all while the unicorns are bucking merrily away?" Celestia lazily tickled his ear with a hoof.
'The more the merrier, I say!" He chuckled as he ran his hoof up and down her happily exhausted body. "Of course, that means we need a REALLY big blanket!"
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, especially when the king of the dragons shows up to bone you in the ass with a penis the size of a war galley."
He lost it, laughing helplessly, and shortly thereafter she joined him. They giggled for a bit until they calmed down, but when Celestia called out, “Ramming speed!” Starwirl pounded on the pillow with tears running down his cheeks, unable to breathe.
______
A few hours and several lovemaking sessions later, there was a knocking on the door. "Tia, dear? Are you awake?" Her mother's voice.
Celestia whispered urgently. "That's my mom! What are we going to do?" Starswirl's response was to kiss her and turn invisible. She heard some hoofsteps, saw a curtain move and then he was safely hidden. But this whole room smells like dirty sex! "Just a minute, mom!" She opened two windows, pushing the naughty air out of one and pulling in fresh air with the other. The bed was a hopeless disgrace, so she just pulled the covers up and hoped for the best. Then she ran to the door and opened it.
"Good morning, mother!" Celestia's smile seemed to light up the room like a rising sun.
"Hello darling! Are you through hiding your coltfriend?" Star Gazer's eyes smiled impishly.
Celestia blushed vermilion, and her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. "Why mother! Whatever do you mean?"
"Actually, I came here looking for Starswirl; he's nowhere to be found and we need him for the Council. And in any case..." she gestured towards the coatstand where the belled hat languished and Celestia put her hoof to her forehead with a groan . "'Tia, you're old enough to do what you want. Your cutie mark is delayed for some reason, and that means you can't get married yet, but I'm not going to stand in the way of two unicorns in love over a technicality. Now, pull that young reprobate out of whatever closet he is in, get showered up and come down to the Council. Somepony has brought forth an interesting suggestion that may buy us some time, at least!"
Starswirl dropped his invisibility spell and ran out from behind the curtain. "Star Gazer! What? Who?"
Celestia's mother shook her head. "Just get cleaned up and get down to the throneroom, dear colt. You too 'Tia. Don't keep the princess waiting, please." She winked at them, then turned around, closing the door behind her.
"Well, um..." Starswirl blushed from the tip of his head to his toes.
"Shower, now. And no foaling around this time!" Celestia grinned. "We can foal around later!' She kissed him and ran off to the guestroom shower, laughing.
______
When they got down to the throne room, Princess Platinum raised an eyebrow at Celestia and allowed herself a small smile. They bowed and Starswirl ran to the cluster of desks where mages were speaking urgently to one another. There was one pony who seemed very much out of place; Clover, the blue coated apprentice who Celestia had almost killed in the Arena. She was wearing shackles and there were two serious-looking guardsponies flanking her as she stood speaking to several archmages.
Celestia thought back to her recovery from the black bolt. She had been told that Clover was convicted of conspiracy to commit murder, a crime which usually carried the death penalty. Much to Celestia's relief, at the insistence of Dream Charmer, Clover had instead been sentenced to ten years imprisonment, and instead of her prison being the dungeons under Platinum's castle, she was to serve out her sentence in the Academy at the rank of novice. Her brothers were also brought into the Academy to work in the kitchens, though the youngest was too young for any labor beyond being the object of widespread adoration, a job for which the plumb-colored foal was eminently well-suited. The Grand Archmage considered herself as being ultimately responsible for the Darkfoal infiltrating the Academy and threatened to resign if her wishes in the matter were not respected. Princess Platinum granted the request; Clover's circumstances were indeed, exceptional.
Celestia approached Princess Platinum and curtsied, less formally than when she had been presented the day before. The royal reached out and touched her on the shoulder. "Please stand, my child," she said quietly. "I understand that you have been keeping one of our kingdom's keenest minds occupied on matters other than the problem at hoof." Celestia started to stammer an apology, but the princess cut her off. "No, no; you both deserve some happiness, stars and moon know. From this day forth, when court is in session, you shall both be in attendance unless you have otherwise been instructed."
Celestia bowed her head. "Yes, your highness."
Platinum smiled prettily, her silver mane shining in the torchlight. "Now, while those eggheads work on their magical solution to the sun problem, do you have any revelations about the political problem facing us?"
"The coins are still here, your highness." She tapped her torc, whispering. "Perhaps the conspirators know that it is a bluff. Or..." she paused, considering. "Could it be that the nobles are not involved? The money came from elsewhere?"
"That is a possibility. Nonetheless, whoever it is may have spies watching us even now, so let us continue with the deception. Is there anything you could tell us that would force the enemy, be they traitors or foreign agents, into hasty action?"
"I cannot tell you the source of the gold, your highness. But I am able to tell you the name of the pony who made the purse." Platinum's eyebrows raised. "It was made by the dressmaker Measure Legscye. She works in Whitherville."
"This bluff of ours bears good fruit! Excellent work, Celestia! It may be a dead end, but who knows what information this dressmaker will be able to provide us with!" Platinum was smiling. "Now for us to poke the anthill." The princess cleared her throat. "Major Thunderhooves!"
The guard commander trotted to the throne. "Your highness?"
"We command you to bring us the dressmaker Measure Legscye of Whitherville. She is to be questioned. Do not arrest her if she comes of her own free will, but do what you must to bring her here quickly and safely!"
"Your will is mine, your highness." The major bowed, glanced at Celestia and then cantered off to prepare the orders for his detachment.
"Now, my dear, shall we see what our academics propose?" Celestia moved the position Platinum indicated, to the left of her throne, facing the massed desks and blackboards of the mages. "Archmagister, what have you for us?"
Dream Charmer approached the throne, bowing deeply. "Your highness, it seems that Clover's suggestion bears considerable merit. It is not a permanent solution, but we calculate that it should give us five years of good harvests, after which solar activity will no longer be sufficient, even with this approach. Would you allow her to present the idea, your highness?"
Platinum nodded. "As you wish, Archmagister." Clover walked forward and bowed as gracefully as her manacles would allow; part of her sentence was to be chained and under guard when off academy grounds.
"Your highness, thank you for your clemency earlier. And Celesta, you saved my life twice. I can never repay you."
"You may yet do so, child. Impress us." Platinum sat, unsmiling, though Celestia could not keep a small smile off her face.
"Your highness, my proposal is to use a grouped mass spell to levitate water into the air above Unicornia in such a way as to create a lensing effect. It would require a great deal of water; several million gallons, I think, which would be angled between the sun and the kingdom. We use arcanokinetics to retain the water in a lens shape. Would you allow me to demonstrate, your highness?"
The princess nodded and one of the guards used his magic to remove the coffle from Clover's horn. She used her magic to take a sheet of blank paper from a stack on a nearby desk, set it on the floor, then took a torch from a wall sconce, holding it several feet from the paper. "Here is Unicornia," she said, indicating the paper, "and the torch is the sun." She glanced at a pitcher full of water and drew approximately a cup from it, moving the globe in a silvery nimbus of magic to a position in between the torch and the paper. Then she concentrated and the globe flattened out into a disk that was thicker in the middle than the edges. The light on the paper brightened in the center and dimmed at the edges. "It will be warmer at the center of the focus and cooler outside the focus, your highness." As she spoke, her concentration lapsed and the lens thickened, the focus shrinking to a pinpoint, which smoked and then burst into flame.
"Oops!" She doused the paper with the water lens, blushing. "Sorry, your highness. As you see, we would have to be very careful about keeping the lens properly focused."
"Clover, that is a very clever idea! Well done! Archmagister, what would be required for this solution to be effected, and how many acres could be warmed?"
"Your highness, initial estimates would require us to have one thousand unicorns working for six hours in order to move the water into the air before sunrise each night to form and stabilize the lens, and then about five hundred unicorns working in shifts keeping the lens airborne and in position until sunset. It would be easier to drop the lens in the west and reform it in the east than to move it back and keep it airborne. The first year we should be able to raise the average daily temperature by fifteen degrees over an area of twenty thousand acres, which will cover all of Unicornia as well as the earth pony freeholds. By the third year, we will no longer be able to warm the freeholds, but that gives them two more years of survival, after which we hope they would establish farms in your demesne and fallow lands held by the nobility. After five years, we will no longer be able to raise the temperature within Unicornia over a large enough area to make a difference, but that gives us four more years to develop a permanent solution."
"That's an awful lot of labor, Archmagister. A third of our workforce will be dedicated to this project! Is there any way to make this more efficient?"
"Your highness?" Celestia broke in politely. "There is already quite a bit of moisture in the atmosphere. Perhaps if the pegasi condensed atmospheric vapor, that could reduce the amount of time needed to form and stabilize the lens, freeing up those unicorns to work on the long-term solution as well as supportive economic activity." The Grand Archmage pursed her lips and nodded thoughtfully.
"That would give the pegasi a role, which is both a good and a bad thing. They can be a fractious lot, but if they felt they had a part in the solution, well then, at least they'd be inside of the tent pissing out, rather than the other way around." Celestia's and Clover's eyes widened at princess' analogy, but they said nothing. "Clover, for your suggestion, I grant you pardon and release from your sentence, if Celestia accedes to such, being the victim of your conspiracy." Celestia nodded immediately, so Platinum went on. "So be it. It is our decree that Clover be granted full and complete pardon. Archmagister, you shall form the project team immediately. It is our will that all of your requests be honored without question. You have free access to our treasury. No unicorns will be exempted from service to the solar lensing project save those who are too young, old, ill or crippled to be of aid, as well as those actively serving in our military. That includes the nobility, Archmagister. If you get any arguments, refer them to us and they shall be set aright."
"Your highness, we shall begin planning immediately, but we will need to start coordinating with the pegasi as soon as possible. We should also tell the earth pony freeholders that we will not be able to support their farms for more than two more years. That may not go over well at all; it is possible we will not be believed." Dream Charmer curtsied and returned to the cluster of desks, taking Clover with her, speaking in a highly animated fashion.
Princess Platinum turned her head to Celestia. "Tell me, child. Do you know the cloudwalking spell?"
Celestia looked at the cliff's edge with dread. "Starswirl, this first step looks like a doozy."
"Don't worry, honey. It's the same spell we practiced at ten feet when we walked on that fog bank. You cast it once and you can walk on clouds for twenty-four hours. I'll go first." Starswirl disappeared off the edge of and a horrible scream echoed, trailing off in the distance. Celestia ran to the edge to see Starswirl sitting on the cloud, wearing a cheesy grin.
"Seriously?" The look she gave him could have melted lead.
"When am I ever?" Her deathgaze bounced off his armor of coltish charm.
"Well then," she said, stepping down carefully, testing her weight several times, onto the small cloud which sat there, stabilized by Starswirl's arcanokinetics, "you can just forget about that little experiment you wanted to conduct during the trip up to Stratosopolis." His face fell.
"Oh baby, come on, I was just messing around a little!" She hmphed and sat down on the cloud, ignoring him as he added a vector to his arcanokinetic web to get the cloud moving. Cloudriding was not something commonly done because it was a slow ride; you can only push a cloud so hard before it starts to break apart, so while the unicorns could technically fly, it was at a slow walking pace and you needed favorable winds or still air to get anyplace. "You know I love you!"
"Guess it's going to be a long, slow, awkward trip." She polished her hoof, scowling at nothing in particular. "For some reason, the thought of my lover hurtling to his untimely demise does not fill me with amour."
"Well, you know it is going to get pre-t-ty cold up here when we get to altitude."
"Fine by me. I brought a blanket." She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a colorful afghan.
"Room for two?" Starswirl endeavored to make puppy eyes.
She glanced at his cutie mark, a whirling galaxy of stars on his toned flank. "Mmmmm... I dunno. Maybe. It depends. What's in it for me?"
"Well, um, I read about this thing I was thinking maybe you'd like me to try, in a um... gentlecolt's publication." He showed all his teeth.
"What?! You read those things?" She flushed, slightly disturbed.
"Only for the articles! And you know, some of them are pretty interesting."
"Just how many of those articles have you read?" She was getting a little angry now. What is he doing, hoofing off to pictures of Miss Neighvember?
"Let me tell you what I am going to do under that blanket." He leaned forward and whispered in her ear and she turned bright pink.
______
"Wow. That was certainly... sophisticated. And very nice, sweet colt." She lazed, her back on the cloud, looking up at the heavens while a steady breeze wafted them slowly towards the pegasi's cloud capital. She kept an eye out for possible intruders. We don't want to be interrupted in the... wait... again?
______
"I didn't know I could do that! Come here and kiss me, prince of my life! On my mouth this time!"
He obliged, smiling through his mussed up beard. "I could do that all day!"
"You better not or else I'll be rather too relaxed and pliable to be an effective diplomat." She grinned. "Though I feel as though I should reciprocate."
"Huh? How?"
"Well, I read this article in Cosmoponyton..."
______
By the time they docked their cloud at the Stratos lower level, they were wearing enigmatic little smiles, snuggled up to one another under the blanket, and the pegasi were not quite sure what to make of it.
"Commander Hurricane, the unicorns are here!" An amber coated pegasus with a short cropped gray mane shouted up what looked to be a tower of solidified cloud. It was rather warmer here in the cloud than they had expected; perhaps the body heat of all the high metabolism pegasi in what was effectively a floating castle contributed to the ambient temperature being more tolerable.
A black figure with a white mane leaped from the top of the tower and dove straight at them, causing them to jump back a couple of feet. It stopped inches from the cloud surface and settled with a final flap of ebon wings. "Hi there! I'm Commander Hurricane! Welcome to Stratosopolis! Or just Stratos, for short." The stallion's pale blue eyes held no guile.
Celestia cleared her throat. "Commander, I speak with the voice of her august highness, Princess Platinum of Unicornia. She sends her royal greetings to you and to your..."
The pegasus broke in impatiently. "Yeah, yeah, all that diplomatic crap. Who are you and what do you want?"
Celestia wasn't sure whether to be insulted or amused, but seeing how she came as something of a supplicant, she smiled and bowed her head. "I am Equesse Celestia, of Green Bend. My traveling companion is Starswirl. We have come regarding matters of considerable import which may be better discussed in private."
"Well, ya see here Lady Celestia, we don't have any secrets here in Stratos. What you see is what you get. I'm the commander of the military because I got elected on account-a-because I'm the best flyer and the best tactician and that's all that matters up here. So we don't have any back-room dealings. Anything you have to say, you say in front of the Epistates and whatever decision she makes, they'll put to vote in the Boule for ratification and then that will go to the Ekklesia for approval when it is next in session. Unless the Bouletai say it requires the passage of a new law, in which case it needs to go through the Hellaia before it gets presented to the Ekklesia . Now really, before you go and start complaining about how cumbersome the system is because that's what you oligarchs always do, that's just the way it is and there ain't no changing it so... you're ambassadors, you will be received by the Epistates . But if you are even a little hungry after your trip, I would recommend you get something to eat, because you're going to be getting an earful. The Fleetfeather tribe have the prytany for another two weeks, and today the Epistates is Grey Wind and she can talk your wings off. No offense."
Celestia's mouth moved but she wasn't able to get any words out. Starswirl gaped at Commander Hurricane in amazement. Finally Celestia was able to get over the feeling of disorientation brought about by the rapid fire introduction to the mechanics of direct participatory democracy, and was able to speak. "But... but we thought you were in charge."
"Oh, I'm in charge of the military alright, for another four months. My actual title is Strategos , by the way. When my term ends, I'm thinking about running for Superintendent of Rainbows, or maybe I'll just volunteer for one of the Archon positions; it'd be great to be the Archon of Games. It will be time to let somepony else run the show; if other pegasi don't have the chance to lead, when I'm gone there won't be anypony who can do it. I'm just another pegasus, like everypony else. If I ruffle enough feathers, the Ekklesia can recall me on a majority vote and I'll step down. I know a good Estiatoros , with the best dolmades! Come on!"
The couple followed the brash Strategos , their heads spinning. "Why didn't the princess say something about this?" whispered Starswirl.
"She did say their form of government was incomprehensible, but I think she believes Commander Hurricane is actually the power here." replied Celestia, quietly.
"Too bad he doesn't agree with her!" They both giggled and then they got to another cloudbank with a hole in it. It was very difficult to make out the layout of this place.
"Here ya go! Silver Dart's place! Finest eatery in Stratos! Well, at least I think so. Come inside!" The black pegasus led the way and they found themselves reclining on exceptionally comfortable cloud couches in front of a low cloud table. The smell was incredible; Celestia and Starswirl looked at each other in surprise. "Silver! Three plates of dolmades please!"
A pale grey pegasus poked his head out. "Hurricane, what are you doing, bringing unicorns in here?" He gave the two a dirty look. "I run a nice place! I don't serve barbarians!" The two unicorns were astounded and looked at the Strategos in shock.
"A misunderstanding. Excuse me please." Hurricane stood up and walked straight to Silver Dart, pushing him into the kitchen.
The two sat uncomfortably looking at the other pegasi who were sitting around eating and looking at them. Commander Hurricane's voice was muffled by the cloud wall between the kitchen and dining area, but the words could be made out. "You are going to go out there and apologize to those two perfectly nice unicorn diplomats who just dropped by for a bite to eat before going to present themselves to the Epistates and you are going to serve up three delicious plates of stuffed grape leaves or I am going to rip off your pinion feathers and shove them up your arse, you bone-brained booby! I would stand back and watch them blast you right to Tartarus if you weren't the best chef in Stratos!"
"Hey, Strategos, I am not one of your flycolts and you can't order me around! It's those damned unicorns who are cooling down the sun and driving up the prices for everything from grape leaves to olives to ouzo! So take your magical friends and get the hell out of my place!"
"Silver, I am not ordering you. I AM THREATENING YOU!" There was a thump followed by the sound pots and pans crashing and some indistinct yelling for a few seconds. "I AM NOT MAKING A PRETENSE OF BEING A LEGITIMATE AUTHORITY! I AM SIMPLY GOING TO BEAT YOU UNLESS AND UNTIL YOU DO AS I SAY, GOT IT?"
A few seconds later, Hurricane came back into the dining area. "I cleared it up. He's got this ridiculous idea that unicorns have been draining the sun of its energy to power their spells and that's why its been getting colder. That's an unfortunately common misconception here. Ah, there you are Silver Dart. I believe you have something to say?"
The grey pegasus carried a tray with three plates of rolled up leaves, placing them on the cloud table. He muttered something indistinct that may have included the word sorry, looked at them sullenly through a blackened eye and turned around, heading back to the kitchen before the two unicorns could gather themselves sufficiently to reply.
"Now, please, eat." The general reached down and picked up a rolled, stuffed grape leaf and shoved it in his mouth, closing his eyes and smiling as he chewed.
Celestia and Starswirl shared another glance, shrugged at one another and did likewise. They were hot from the oven, and the olive oil on the leaves combined with onion, fennel, pine nuts, brown rice, dill, and parsley to create a gastronomic experience simply not available in Unicornia, the land of potatoes and carrots.
"Oh my sweet moon! This is incredible! What is in it?" Celestia forgot all about the recent insults and just savored the tangy, sweet chewiness. Starswirl said nothing but immediately downed a second one.
"I'm no chef, but we trade a lot with zebras for the olives and grape leaves. They hire us out to do weather work, same as the earth ponies do. I know we get our rice from the freeholds as well as the fennel and onion. We get around, you know." He smiled as he ate his third. "Now, would you like some wine to wash that down? Silver Dart! Ouzo! "
Celestia enjoyed the warm feeling in her stomach that the ouzo brought on. It was wine, but very strong. It was so strong that the locals cut it with water, though she wondered if Starswirl had used enough water as he weaved slightly up the avenue as they were led to the Pnyx . That was what the Strategos called the pile of cloud upon which the Boule and the Ekklesia would speak and deliberate. It was set up rather like an amphitheater, with a mounding of cloud in the center for the speakers to address the masses who would sit on bench-like ripples of cloud in a bowl shape fully surrounding the central mound.
"All of this, we built in memory of Marethens, which as you know was destroyed by a hurricane seven hundred years ago. So these are but shadows of the distant past. Our Demokratia , on the other hoof, is as strong and unchanging as ever!" There was a ring of pride in his voice as he led them up the slope. Within the depression, hundreds of pegasi sat speaking with one another in small groups. At the base of the concavity, a group of ponies ringed the Pnyx and one pony sat upon it, above the others, listening to them argue. "And there is our illustrious Epistates herself, fresh off the rain farm. That is why our system works as well as it does: one day, the council is chaired by the son of a wealthy merchant, the next day by the daughter of a rain farmer. Everypony gets a turn in the barrel and if you are unfair to somepony, they may well have the opportunity to be unfair to you the next day. Sure, it gets a little loud sometimes..." the argument increased in volume considerably as they closed on the Prytenais , the tribe which led the council for a bit more than a month, in this case the Fleetfeathers.
"Grey Wind, this cannot be permitted to continue! Starchaser and his family have deliberately been redirecting the thermal updrafts into my rain farm for the past two weeks!" A pale gold pegasus with a purple mane gesticulated at a group of pegasi who appeared to be a family group, all with similar dark brown and reddish coloring. "You're a farmer! You know how hard it is to condense properly with that kind of disruption!"
"Epistates, " said the oldest of the family, presumably Starchaser, "there is nothing deliberate or malicious in what we are doing. We are simple cloud herders. We have a contract to take condensed product from Moon Dancer's farm and deliver it to the Strawberry Sunshine freehold and the prevailing winds require us to herd the clouds to the south of Skyscape's farm. And that means a little updraft gets displaced to the north. It can't be helped and it is clearly legal under the Aeroluvial Rights of Bypass of Cloud Herders Act as passed by the one thousand, three hundred and ninety second Ekklesia ."
"Bah! It's more than a little updraft; my condensate is down eight percent! Moon Dancer is my main competitor for northern freehold rain contracts and she deliberately contracted with Strawberry Sunshine at a lower rate so that you would disrupt my operations and you know it!" Skyscape was turning orange in the face with frustration and anger.
"That's none of my business and it's a legal contract!" Starchaser too was growing darker in his coloring.
"Gentlecolts!" Gray Wind, a deep gray pegasus with a pale blond mane and golden eyes clopped her forehooves together to get attention. "This is clearly a matter for the courts. Let the Hellaia sort this out!" The parties stopped arguing and started grumbling. "Next!"
Commander Hurricaine stepped forward. "Epistates, I come with a foreign embassy!" Gray Wind's eyes widened as she took in the unicorns and got rather excited.
"An embassy! Oh, lucky me! I thought it was going to be the same old farmers versus herders arguments all day!" She did a little happy dance atop the Pnyx as Celestia and Starswirl tried to stop themselves from chuckling. She got control of herself and settled down. "Forgive me, I am sure there is a more decorous way to greet our foreign guests."
"We were well met with Ouzo and good cheer, Epistates. " Celestia smiled and bowed her head. "I am Equesse Celestia and this is my companion Starswirl, We bring greetings from the court of Princess Platinum of Unicornia to the ponies of Stratopolis." Starswirl also bowed, though perhaps he teetered a bit on his hooves.
"Oh, please, no bowing." Gray Wind blushed slightly as they rose. "We don't do that sort of thing here. We're all equal under the sky. I welcome you to Stratopolis, and I hope you'll forgive our informality. Didn't learn a lot of courtly manners on the farm, I fear." She smiled warmly at the two and Celestia found herself liking this pony immensely for some reason. "So, what brings you two up here? We haven't seen a cloud-walking unicorn in years. I gather you aren't here to talk about the weather."
Starswirl blinked. "Well, actually, that's exactly what we came to talk about. It is rather important that we inform our neighbors of our findings and the solutions we are working on."
"Really? You figured out what's going on sun-wise? Well, that's a relief! I should really call the Boule together so that you can address us all in council and we can form an opinion. Excuse me." She jumped up in the air and flew about thirty feet up. "HEY! I NEED AN APARTIA FOR THE BOULE , NOW!"
"For what?" rang out a voice from the benches.
"FOR ME BEING EPISTATES AND CALLING FOR AN APARTIA , THAT'S FOR WHAT!"
There was some grumbling at that, but rules were rules. The conversations broke up as members of the Boule approached the Pnyx , sitting in the first few rows and others sat further back. "Manebraker, can you get me a headcount?" One of the other Fleetfeathers counted the ponies in the first few rows.
"Still about twenty short of an apartia, Epistates. " The pale blue pegasus had a black mane and dark purple eyes, and his cutie mark was a black cloud with a thunderbolt. A weather warden , thought Celestia. Thunderkickers and cloud busters. "I'll go see who I can round up. Come on, guys! Let's hit the taverns first." Other members of the Fleetfeather tribe followed him into the city.
"Sorry Equesse, this may take a little bit to get a group big enough to legally make a decision." Gray Wind smiled at her as they waited. "Are there other unicorns as tall as you? I hope you don't mind my asking."
"No, not at all. I am the tallest unicorn anypony can recall having seen, and please, just call me Celestia. I wasn't born an Equesse or anything."
"Really? Were you elected?" The Epistates leaned forward on her cloud cushion.
"No, it was a grant for services rendered to the crown. There's been some trouble recently and I helped get things under control." She swallowed, not really wanting to go into the story. "I'm really just an apprentice mage."
"Well, you certainly don't seem haughty and arrogant like those snobs who came through here last time, demanding that ponies m'lord and m'lady them all day. The Boule almost threw them out! No wonder your princess sent you instead! And I love your jewelry! Goodness, that's exquisite!" Celestia smiled and nodded, quietly thanking her. "Oh, here comes the angry mob! OK, get up here on the Pnyx with me." The unicorns complied, Celestia more steadily, perhaps. "The way this works is I will introduce you, you will say your part and stand down, and then anypony else who has something to say will be able to speak until I bring an end to the discussion and call for votes on any proposals that may have been made. Strategos , would you care to stand beside the embassy? Your presence will as always add to the significance of the discussion."
Commander Hurricane smiled and stood next to the two unicorns on stage. Starswirl looked at him, slightly blearily. "Hey, that wasn't bad; she didn't talk our wings off!" The Strategos scowled at him. "Not that I have any wings."
"What was that?" Grey Wind frowned at the general. "What did he say?"
Hurricane stuffed his hoof in Starswirl's face. "Oh, nothing. It's the lad's first time trying ouzo, is all."
"Celestia... what did he say?" The Epistates glared at the Strategos .
She pinkened slightly. "Just that you could be a little long-winded is all. Nothing mean."
"Oh... I know where THAT'S coming from! You're still sore that I walloped you last week at the symposium on The Clouds. " She grinned at the black pegasus.
"You never did! Aristoponies was paying homage to Trotcrates, not mocking him." The commander turned his nose up and looked away, disdaining her argument anew.
"Ha! That's why the politics all came my way! He was lampooning Trotcrates, why can't you see that? I mean, he wrote that part where Streflyades was masturbating under a blanket while Trotcrates was trying to get him to meditate for flying out loud!" The proud stallion would not budge. "Hurricane, look, I realize that you like both Aristoponies and Trotcrates, but they didn't like each other!"
He snorted. "It was constructive criticism and I bet Trotcrates was in the audience laughing with everypony else!"
"Excuse me! Is THIS what you called an apartia for, Epistates? " One of the Bouletai at the base of the Pnyx stood up, a bag of ouzo in his hoof. "If so, I'd like to get back to destroying my liver." The crowd laughed.
"We'll talk later, OK?" she said softly.
"OK," he replied softly and smiled at her. Ah , thought Celestia.
Grey Wind cleared her throat. "Citizens of the Boule of Stratopolis! We are graced this day with an embassy from Unicornia! Equesse Celestia and Starswirl are here to bring us news of import regarding the condition of the sun!" That silenced the hubbub in the crowd. Even the portly reddish pegasus who had spoken earlier put down his ouzo to pay attention. "I ask that we give them attendance and consider their words carefully! We will then have time for debate and discussion before rendering our decision as to whatever our response, if any should be! Equesse Celestia, Starswirl, you are granted the right to speak before the Boule . Please give us your news and proposals, if any." She backed away, leaving them at the center of the Pnyx .
Starswirl whispered to her. "You go ahead, I'll do projections if you need them." She nodded.
"Good pegasi of Stratopolis! Princess Platinum of Unicornia sends greetings and good wishes on behalf of her ponies! We rely most heavily on your rain farms for our sustenance, and maintaining good relations with you is of paramount importance to her highness!"
There was muttering among the crowd and a smattering of short-lived applause. She suddenly realized how vulnerable she felt, standing, surrounded by what looked like a few hundred strangers. She mastered the rising panic and continued.
"The astronomers at the Royal Observatory and the mages at the Royal Academy have been working on the problem of the recent cold weather. Solar output is down two percent in the past four years, and the trend is not improving. Observations of sunspot activity are pointing at a slowdown in convection activity." Starswirl used his illusory magic to display a flat projection of the sun's convection action, showing heat from the core as red arrows moving to the surface turning to blue arrows as cooler material sinks. As the display progressed, the thickness of the lines was reduced and the speed of the circular action slowed. "This means less of the heat from the core is making it to the surface. That means less heat for the world and it isn't going to get any better. Our planet will become a snowball. And then as convection drops and pressure drops, the star will contract due to gravity."
The image pulled away, showing a glowing ball which got darker and shrank. "We have a theory that once this happens, the pressure at the center will start the convection process again, but at much higher temperatures due to the higher density. That will cause the uppermost layers of the star to expand far beyond its current size." The star suddenly swelled up and became a deep red color. "This may happen in two or three hundred years; we aren't sure. But nopony will be here to see it. By that time, the world will have become so cold that the atmosphere will have frozen."
You could have heard a pin drop. Then all hell broke out as pegasi started screaming, shouting questions, cursing, calling her a liar and generally running around. Gray Wind was on her knees, hooves to her face, sobbing uncontrollably and Commander Hurricane stared at her in utter horror.
"But we have some ideas!" She shouted to try to stop the chaos, but her voice was lost in the mayhem. The drunk pegasi in front threw back his head and drained off his remaining ouzo in a stroke. A group of three pegasi started throwing apples and assorted junk at her, screaming that she was trying to destroy the city. "Quiet everypony!" Bedlam raged.
"I SAID QUIET!" The Voice boomed out, knocking several pegasi closest to the Pnyx to the ground off the back of their benches. Hurricane and Gray Wind covered their ears in pain. Even Starswirl looked at her in dazed amazement. She had never used the Voice at that volume before. It sounded like mountain sneezing or a giant dragon roaring for order. Apologize later, lead now. "NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, I ASSURE YOU THAT WE HAVE SOME IDEAS!"
The pegasi sat back down, shaken and worried, but no longer panicking. "We have one idea that can buy us five years of good harvests, and we need your help. We can use that time to come up with a better, permanent solution. All the best minds in Unicornia are fully invested in solving the problem with the sun, I assure you! We all want to live!"
She glanced and noticed that the Strategos was now kneeling beside Grey Wind and holding her hoof while she sobbed quietly. She nodded at Starswirl who drew a side view of Unicornia with the sun above it. "The Academy has a plan to increase the amount of heat that reaches the surface by concentrating it with a lens made of water, suspended above the farmlands. This will allow for good harvests for the next five years, by which time we hope to have a permanent solution in place which will allow us to return to our normal lives." The projection showed the lens focusing the rays of the sun on the farms and their fields ripening.
"We need your help collecting that water, roughly two point three million gallons a day, at a location centered fifty miles east of Unicornia and the freeholds. Hundreds of unicorns will be stationed there for sunrise, to stabilize this lens and keep it in position as the sun tracks to the west throughout the day. We calculate that this will take roughly one third of our workforce, every day. We could raise the water from ground sources, but that would drain rivers and lakes and it would also require our workforce to double, and those unicorns won't be able to work on the long-term solution. Therefore, we need the pegasi and their atmospheric expertise for this solution to function. We need to cooperate more closely than ever before. We plan to start the operation in three days if you are able to commit to this. Thank you for your attention and consideration." Starswirl's shut down his light display and they stood quietly, ready to answer questions.
Grey Wind had recovered sufficiently to speak. "D-do you think that might actually work?" she asked, quietly and shakily.
"As long as we all work our hardest, yes. I have absolute faith it will. Because the alternative is unthinkable." Celestia reached out and touched Grey Wind on the cheek, wiping away a tear, while Hurricane supported her. "Now what?"
"Now the Bouletai will line up to address their fellows in turn from the Pnyx and either speak in support or opposition to your request, or they may simply ask questions. After each speaker is finished, you may respond." She sniffled. "Some of them may say cruel or stupid things. Do not lose your temper, Celestia. And thank you for telling us this news. Even if it turns out there is nothing we can do, at least we can start doing some things we always meant to, but never made time for." With that, she kissed Commander Hurricane on the cheek and looked fondly into his eyes. "I could not die beside a finer stallion."
Tears ran down the Strategos' cheeks. "Nor I a better mare. Now, here come the arguers."
The first to mount the Pnyx was a narrow shouldered, bony white pony with shabby feathers and a mop of a black mane. "I am Vector Sliderule and I tell you what the unicorns ask for is outrageous! That is two thirds of our total rain farm production! It will beggar our farmers to give the water away and have it wasted so at the end of the day. They must raise the water themselves from ground sources. At any rate, they must do so for their own survival, so there is no need for us to be involved. We will benefit whether we help or not, and in any event, will not the farmers still need rain?" He stepped aside to a smattering of applause.
Starswirl cleared his throat and walked to the center of the platform. "Pegasi, if you do not aid us, there will be a much smaller chance of us finding any permanent solution! As we said before, it will take double the labor for us to raise the water ourselves, and not only is it self-defeating to choose such a course, it is lazy and selfish! I have always been told that the pegasi of Stratopolis were hard-working and fair! Is this true?" He stepped back to the side, applause for his statement being somewhat louder than for Vector Sliderule, who nodded to him and returned to the center.
"The pegasi of Stratopolis are indeed hard-working and fair, but is it fair to deny hard-working earth pony farmers who have already contracted with us for the water they need for their farms?" There was a decent amount of applause for this position as he returned to the side of the Pnyx.
Starswirl took center stage and held up his hoof, thinking furiously. "Ah. Instead of simply disposing of the water at sunset, unicorns could continue to support it, and break it up into smaller quantities that can be pushed to the farms by pegasi at the end of the day, there to be delivered as contracted. It means extra work for the unicorns and that he delivery of the water be delayed until evening but it seems like a better use of resources." He stepped back to loud applause and some whistling. Vector Sliderule looked thoughtful, pursed his lips and nodded, conceding the argument. He returned to his seat.
"Well done, my love!" Celestia whispered.
"Do I get a reward?" He smiled in his saucy, boyish way.
"Yes actually, I read another article the other day... oh, here's the next one."
A pale green mare with a long blue mane stood atop the mound. "I am Maney Cloudpusher, and I ain't got a lot of education and I don't understand none of what they just said about conventions and all, but I can tell when somepony is lying, and for sure, they're tellin' us the truth. I don't know if what they just said is the best solution for the problem, but I know its been getting colder and they believe they can help. That's all I have to say, thank you." She stepped down to a smattering of applause as Starswirl and Celestia smiled their thanks.
The next four ponies either voiced support or minor objections to the plan, which were addressed by Celestia and Starswirl. During this time, the amphitheater filled up, both the lower ring for the Boule and the outer ring for observers. Word had gotten out that something important was being discussed and pegasi of all colors, shapes, sizes and ages now filled the place, at least a thousand. They chattered with one another in urgent discussion, passing notes which Grey Wind identified for her as politics, short messages and thoughts for each one to consider. She had to admit that despite her earlier skepticism, this method of decision-making gave everypony a voice, and if it required a lot of wrangling to get things done, it seemed like a better way of getting to the heart of the matter than the backroom dealing of the unicorn nobility, where your rank often spoke more loudly than your ideas.
Then she realized that the next three pegasi set to speak were the ones who threw fruit at her. A tan pegasus with a gold mane and blue eyes glared at her and Starswirl with ill-concealed loathing. He strode to the center of the Pnyx. "Pegasi, citizens, ponies of Stratopolis, I am Stern Cloudbreaker! These unicorns have come here to frighten us into giving away our freedoms! These oligarchs, " he spat the word, "these kneeling, bowing, scraping, royalty-worshipers, hate our Demokratios! They fear us, and they should! When the ponies they oppress on their estates, who break their backs with labor so these few can live in golden splendor, see how free ponies live, they would rise up and throw down their castles! I do not believe a word they say, and neither should you!" He stormed off, to a small amount of applause, immediately to be followed by a reddish mare with a silvery mane and piercing green eyes.
"I am Sunrise Shadow and I support Stern! We cannot trust oligarchs! They bring no proof, only theories and magic! " She spat down into the cloud at her hooves. "Why would the sun suddenly stop functioning? I wonder if they had anything to do with it?!" She also stormed off to sit and glare at the unicorns next to her ally. The third pegasus however, looked at them as if he wanted them dead on the spot. He was tall, lean and a deep gold in color, with a richly flowing fiery mane.
"And I am Thunder Stormtrotter. You all know me." He spoke with a voice like liquid gold and the crowd listened intently. "I have no doubt; none! that the unicorns are behind this! They are our enemy! They wish to be our overlords, to command the weather as though it was another of their craven slaves! They have been using their magic to block the rays of the sun!! " There was a murmuring at that, a disturbingly strong muttering among the crowd that caused Celestia and Starswirl to look at one another in worry.
Thunder Stormtrotter continued. "This is their endgame; to force us into their service, and then use us to break the freeholds of the earth ponies! Did she mention that her plan only allows for two years of harvests at the freeholds, after which the earth ponies will be forced to give up their freeholds and become tenants, licking the hooves of the unicorn masters?" He grinned at them triumphantly as Celestia and Starswirl stared in amazement. How did he know about the problem with the freeholds? "Is this not so, Equesse? " His voice was filled with mockery.
She stepped forward, shaken, realizing that he had the crowd at this point. "The sun will not produce enough light in the third, fourth and fifth years to warm the freeholds as well as Unicornia, but we've two years to work on a solution that will preserve the freeholdings." Her voice was not as strong as she would have liked.
"And after two years, lo and behold, there will BE no solution!" Thunder Stormtrotter raised his hoof as his voice rang out. "The poor, free earth ponies, they will have to move onto the lands of the unicorn nobility and royals and start paying rents! And then, after five years when you start allowing the sun to shine again, their land ruined, the freeholders will have no choice but to remain tenants, serfs in all but name, for the rest of their generations!" He slammed his hoof down into the cloud, kicking up puffs of vapor. He was truly a formidable speaker. "And we left with no independent farmers to sell our services to, just you tight hoofed unicorns, squeezing us for every drop of rain you can!" There was a low, angry roar from the crowd.
Celestia was close to tears as Starswirl stammered out, "It... it isn't like that! That would be madness!"
"Ha! Madness for us to go along with your plan! This has been a long, slow act of aggression against the ponies of Stratopolis and the freeholders below! Well, it is time for us to wake up! I say we deal with these aggressors the way our ancestors would have!" There were cheers and applause. "I say we reply to this aggression by declaring WAR! " There was loud and sustained applause. No, no, oh sweet moon! What have we done to deserve this? Celestia was close to panic. "I say we take these two so-called ambassadors, spies really, and cast them off the clouds to break upon the free lands below! And then prepare our squadrons to strike against the enemy, unaware that their plans are foiled! And I say we do it NOW! " There was a swelling of applause and cheers that was sustained for a few seconds, but then started to fade.
Celestia looked to the crowd which had suddenly gone silent. There were ponies standing up, old stallions and mares, grey-maned, wrinkled, some walking with crutches, all of them heading to the Pnyx. Some from the Boule seats, but many from further back. "Now I say! Take them by the horns, my friends, that they may not ensorcell us! Commander Hurricane, why do you stay your hoof? Is not the will of the Boule appar.. uh..." then he too saw the elderly ponies ascending the speakers' platform. All the other ponies who were waiting in line had helped them up and then gone to sit down, except for a couple who stood by the most feeble of the elders, supporting them.
"Grey Wind, what has happened?" Starswirl looked around, barely able to comprehend that the angry, bloodthirsty mob of one minute ago was sitting in respectful silence.
"It is the Areopagus, the Court of the Ancients. They are addressing the Boule as a body. This is unheard of."
One of the judges walked towards Thunder Stormtrotter, who was staring in shock, all of his plans blown to rhetorical ruin. "But grandfather, I am not yet finished speaking." The old light brown pegasus had casts over his eyes. He was plainly quite blind.
"Yes you are, my grandson." he said in a warm, kindly and soft voice that was full of love. "These are not the unicorns that killed your mother, my daughter. You cannot even see what they have brought with them. I am as blind as a moonless night, but even I can see that Equesse Celestia bears the torc of Ponyeidus itself. Do you not, my child?"
"I do, sir." This old pegasus seems to wear wisdom like a tailored cloak, she thought.
"And how do you think I know this?"
"Because somepony with good eyes described it to you?" He smiled at her answer and nodded.
"See? Nothing spooky or mystical about it. Not that part, anyway." With that cryptic remark, he turned from her and faced the Boule .
"Friends, we have no authority to direct policy, so we merely give what we believe is the best advice we can. These unicorns come here with the truth in their hearts. Believe what they say, and do what you can to aid them as best as you can. Tonight, I would have them as my guests, and while I would not have a symposium, I would understand if others wanted to attend dinner with us. You all know how large my hall is, so please work it out among you who would come. I also invite the Epistates and the Strategos. And of course, my esteemed colleagues of the Areopagus . Tomorrow, it would be a good idea for there to be an emergency meeting of the full Ekklesia. Not that I can order such, but I think it would be helpful at this time. Thank you all." There was polite and universal applause around the Boule and in the back benches.
He turned as the rest of the elders returned to their seats. "Equesse Celestia, I am Strongwing the Fearless. It is very good to know you."
Strongwing leaned back on his cloud couch as a servant refilled his wine cup. "And so my friends, as you can see, the influence of commerce with earth ponies and unicorns, as well as other races, over the past thousand years has changed the pegasus language forever! We only ever use the older forms of words, such as Strategos ," he bowed his gray head to where he knew Hurricane was seated, "when in formal settings or discussing concepts such as democratic governance, which of course may not have equivalents in the trade speech which has grown out of ancient unicorn and earth pony tongues."
Hurricane flexed his wings and smiled at Gray Wind, who was reclining next to him. "We've started to use terms such as 'Commander' in day-to-day conversations. Our ponies spend so much time dealing with you groundies, no offense," Celestia nodded, smiling, "that it's just become easier to use the trade speech here. Even our names very different from those of our ancestors." He grabbed another piece of karydopsomo , a bread filled with walnuts, and dipped it in honey before stuffing it into his mouth and munching, making sounds of delight.
When I'm princess, a pegasus chef for certain! Celestia idly mused as she ate another forkful of delectable salad loaded with the indescribable feta . Starwirl sat next to her on his cloud couch and patted his belly, then let loose with a sudden belch, covering his mouth belatedly and apologizing as she giggled.
"No need to apologize, young unicorn. I shall inform my chef that you approve of his cooking!" Strongwing smiled and bowed, and then Hurricane released a stronger, well formed belch, causing the elderly pony to smile even more broadly, touching his hoof to his forehead. Gray Wind joined in, doing credit to the chef as could be expected of a farmer's daughter. Then Celestia realized that they were all looking at her expectantly, Starswirl with his saucy grin. Oh yeah?
Celestia exhaled, then opened her throat and swallowed a considerable quantity of air by expanding her diaphragm while not inhaling. Then when she was sure she was ready, she released said air, and used the Voice as she did so.
The resulting belch was audible three blocks away. Bits of cloud rained down from the ceiling where they had been shaken loose. Strongwind shook his head in amazement as all conversation in the room stopped and everypony turned to look to the source of that gargantuan, resounding eructation. Starswirl picked himself up off the floor as he had fallen off the couch in surprise, then he started to turn beet red.
Maybe that wasn't such a good idea... Celestia was starting to feel acutely self-conscious when the chef came charging out of the kitchen, sauce all over his front from a pot which may have been knocked over due to Celestia's over-exuberance. He ran up to her and stood in front of her, plainly shocked.
Then his face split open in a broad grin and he cried, "Opa!" The assembly all took up the cheer, "opa!" ringing out all around as somepony started enthusiastically strumming a tambouras while the others stood, clapped and started dancing. The chef kissed her on both cheeks, getting some sauce on her coat and joined in with the dancing as Commander Hurricane rose from his couch, saluted her gravely, then winked at her with a grin. Gray Wind and Strongwing were laughing heartily and clapping with the music and of course Starswirl was on his back on the floor again, laughing himself breathless, holding his stomach while kicking his rear legs in the air.
A group of the dancers came over and surrounded her, lifting her couch and suddenly she was hoisted up above the dancers, swirling and bouncing and trying hard not to fall off, while laughing almost as hard as Starswirl. The room spun around and she had to use some magic to stabilize her inner ear so that she wouldn't get nauseous. After a few minutes, they put her back and the dancing resumed with some close-in aerobatics providing a breathtaking impromptu indoor airshow. Watching the pegasi spin around on one another's wingtips was exhilarating; she had no idea why they didn't crash into one another, but they managed to perform one amazing maneuver after another.
Finally Strongwing stood up and called out "Opa, opa!" The dancing and music stopped and there was cheering and applauding, making Celestia wonder exactly what that word meant, and bags of ouzo were hoisted. Strongwing took his own bag and toasted Celestia. "Fillies and gentlecolts, I give you Unicornia and Equesse Celestia! Stin oraia zoe! "
"To the beautiful life!" cried a few dozen pegasi as they dashed back their drinks. Celestia bowed, blushing and rose herself, her own bag of ouzo before her.
"To my host, Strongwing, to his aerobatic guests, and to his glorious kitchen!" Then she tossed back her ouzo, the heat running down her throat as Strongwing inclined his head and the chef bowed deeply before her. Then the old hero turned to his guests.
"My friends, we are here to discuss some serious matters, but I am very glad that our friends from Unicornia realize the importance of eating, drinking, dancing and loving. Without these things, life is not worth the living, and our world would not be worth the saving. Now, let us set aside our food and drink for the time being, and take up our politics . It is time for us to get to business." He sat back on his couch and a servant standing next to him picked up a sheaf of small note papers and a quill. Celestia noticed that she and Starswirl also had a small sheaf of notepapers and a quill; one of her host's servants must have brought them out during the dancing.
"Celestia," began Strongwing, "thank you for joining us. The purpose of this little party is to allow us to come to a consensus informally, before the Ekklesia is called. This will allow factions to form around a variety of opinions so that we'll have to spend less time building power bases and more time with the necessary wheeling and dealing to come to a decision. You've made your case, very well, before the Boule this morning, despite the machinations of my grandson." Celestia gave a sideways glance towards Thunder Stormtrotter who reclined in a corner with his two cronies. His power play had been defeated, but he still had the standing to be heard. His influence was, however, much diminished.
"Only because of your intervention, honored sir. Umm..." she continued to look at the glowering trio, "they wouldn't really have thrown us off the cloud, would they?"
"I'm sure that was purely rhetorical." Strongwing frowned and the three plotters all suddenly found something interesting to look at in their ouzo. "They were just trying to get the crowd riled up to establish a bargaining position for their skeptical faction. I normally wouldn't have intervened, because it would never have gone that far. But we don't have weeks for the usual drama to play out. You see, Cloud Striker is my niece. We made sure that she won the contract at the Observatory." Celestia's eyebrows rose at that bit of news. "We knew what your mother had been working on. These kids just hadn't been read on to the program, until now." She looked back at his grandson who was staring at them, mouth agape, then returned her gaze to the blind ancient.
"Wait, you've been spying on us? On my mom!? "
"Of course, that's what nations do, you know. We don't have magic, but we do have eyes everywhere. Well, almost everywhere. Everypony needs pegasi for weather control and transportation. Don't be scandalized, it's a two-way street. You unicorns have your own ways of gathering information. I'm sure the Earth Ponies do too, though we haven't quite figured that out. Its almost as if once in a while, one of them does something impossible." He shrugged. "But that isn't possible, is it? By definition." His blind eyes smiled.
"I suppose not. What happens now?" Celestia leaned forward on her couch.
"We talk. I'll start. Everypony, in my opinion, what the unicorns have told us is true, verified by our own intelligence. I can see no other course than cooperation and support for their project. I think the only thing there is to talk about is who works what shifts and how we work out our delays with the freeholds and our noble unicorn customers. Our enemy here is not one another; it is time. If any would care to dispute this opinion, kindly speak now."
The room was silent. Strongwing allowed the silence to continue for a full minute before nodding. "That much at least is settled. Now, I recommend that the farms and herders dedicated to this project be chosen by lot." To that, the answer was a confusing hubbub as various farmers and factors argued for exemptions due to a variety of hardships, demanded tax relief or suggested that Unicornia pay a premium to make up for the inherent inefficiencies. Many notes were passed from one guest to another While this was going on, a servant came in from the kitchen and whispered to Strongwing. He frowned, then whispered back as the servant scribbled a note.
The servant, a white pegasus with a turquoise and white mane, walked the note over to Celestia. She smiled and thanked him, and read the politic. It was written in an exceedingly fine and small hand.
"Measure Legscye's life is in danger. A plate of Saganaki will be served to you. Eat the first piece on the left. You will become violently ill from eating all this rich food, and will have to retire early. The illness will pass and then my servants will take you to Whitherville tonight."
Celestia's eyes widened and she showed the note to Starswirl. A second servant came by with a plate of fried cheese. A slice on the left was set aside from the others. Celestia turned to Starswirl with a sickly smile and shrugged.
He rolled his eyes. "The things I do for love." He took the slice and bit into it.
______
"Uuuuugh."
"I'm so sorry baby, I'll make it up to you somehow." They laid in the back of a chariot, pulled by two pegasi. She wasn't quite sure why the chariot itself flew; perhaps the pegasus craftsponies had some way to imbue their flight magic in the structure of the vehicle. Starswirl looked up at her, green in the gills. "You can't upchuck again. There can't be anything left." He rolled over, leaned his head over the side and proved her wrong.
He rolled back and looked up at her miserably. "It was supposed to pass. It isn't passing. I'm passing. Away. Slowly. Write on my tombstone that... urrp!" He rolled to the side again and vomited again.
"How do you spell that, exactly? Oh I'm sorry I can't help it, you've been a bad influence on me." She smoothed his mane and wiped his mouth and beard with a napkin while he looked daggers at her.
Over the next half hour or so he did recover, at least to the point where he could stand and appreciate the ride. The moonlight painted the world silver and black as the raced under the stars. It was a far more exhilarating ride than the slow cloud up to Stratos. Strongwing had promised that the Ekklesia would send an embassy to Unicornia with its decision, and that the decision was at this point a foregone conclusion. But he also confided in her that they knew the rebellion in Unicornia was not finished with the Battle of Riverside. She would never look at a low-flying cloud the same way again. Privacy would only ever be indoors, and maybe not even then if what he said about unicorn and earth pony intelligence gathering was accurate. We live in a world full of spies!
Even with all his information, Strongwind had no idea of the identities of the rebels, just that it seemed that an outside agency was somehow involved. He promised to pass along any relevant information and hugged her before doing something strange. He tapped her gold torc and said the word "thyreos" after which the metal seemed to grow warm. She felt somehow safer, though she couldn't explain why. He smiled and kissed her on both cheeks, then ruffled the miserable Starswirl's mane before sending them to his garage and the waiting chariot.
So now, here they were, zipping along at breakneck speed over the treetop at night. It was hard to see their pegasi escorts; they were very dark colored, though their eyes were a luminous yellow. And their pupils were slits, like a snake's, which disturbed and intrigued Celestia no end. Still, they seemed to have excellent night vision as they ran a smooth course, nape-of-the-earth.
The forest started to thin, and Starswirl pointed out a group of rooftops to their left. The chariot slowed as they came in for a landing on a flat pasture about a quarter mile from the village. "Equessse Sselesstia, the road is fifty yardss up ahead. Sstrongwing ssaid the desssmaker iss in a shop on the north sside of town." The sibliant speech of the pegasus seemed odd, and getting out of the chariot, Celestia realized that the chariot itself was very hard to see, even at a short distance. Then she looked hard at her escorts, who were similarly hard to see. Bat wings? What!? "We trusst to your disscretion, Equessse. Sstrongwing ssaid that our interessts are clossely aligned." The forked tongue of a snake hissed at her through pointed fangs and the deep blue-black coat of the pony seemed to drink in the moonlight. Her coloring is very similar to Luna's. "We are nightwings. Mosst poniess do not know of our exisstensse, and we would be in danger if found out. Our hisstory is not a happy one, and we are few in number. I am Moondark, and thiss is my brother, Midnight Sstar." They both bowed their heads, luxurious dark manes and long tails flowing in the light breeze.
Celestia and Starswirl bowed their heads in return and then looked at one another uneasily. Starswirl spoke up first. "I am Starswirl. Sorry that I was indisposed earlier, but it was part of the deception. Thank you for taking us so far, so quickly. You are excellent fliers. And your secret will be safe with us. You honor us with your trust."
Both nightwings smiled, their sharp fangs gleaming white and disconcerting in the moonlight and Moondark replied, "A nessessity. You are the only unicornss who know of uss. Sstrongwing found uss oprhaned as foalss and ssecretly raissed uss ass hiss children. Our parentss were killed in a cave-in, but Sstrongwing heard our criess and dug uss out. He wass ssearching in the mountainss for that artifact that you are wearing right now." He pointed a hoof at the Torc of Ponyeidus.
Midnight Star suddenly started shaking. "Brother! What iss it? A vission?" Moondark caught him as he fell, and laid him gently on the ground. The seizure was mild, more of a shaking fit than grand mal , and the nightwing's eyes started to glow a bright silver. Celestia and Starswirl looked on, amazed and concerned. "He hass the gift. Three times before he hass sseen a thing and it hass been true, though it may be difficult to interpret. Brother! What ssee you?"
The silver-glowing eyes shone like the moon and laid themselves on Celestia. "I ssee a burning ssun with wings! I ssee a dark ssister and a plasse of honor under the moon! And I ssee three heartss of isse leading an army of foalss!" He sighed and his eyes returned to their normal luminous yellow, and the shaking subsided. "What did I ssay? I can't remember!" His sister told him as she helped him up. "What doess it mean?"
Moondark looked to Celestia. "It meanss nothsing to me. Do you have any ideass, Equessse? It sseemss that you carry more than a little fate with you."
She looked down, thoughtfully. "As to the burning sun with wings, that must be the project that the pegasi will be helping us with. Did Strongwing tell you?" They nodded. "Could that mean it will be successful!" She smiled brightly and hugged Starswirl. "Do you think so?"
He hugged her back. "I hope so. It should work, at least for a while, but the wings suggest that the cooperation of the pegasi is truly essential. Still, it is foalish to put too much faith in a prophecy; they're notoriously mysterious." Both nightwings nodded.
Celestia turned back to the bat-winged ponies. "And I have a dark-coated sister. Her name is Luna at that means Moon in the ancient tongue. Perhaps her fate is intertwined with yours. When we get the chance, I'll introduce you, if you like. She is young, but I can't think of anything that would make her happier than being let in on a big secret." The siblings' eyes widened at that. "And as far as three hearts of ice leading an army of foals, maybe that means that there are three conspirators leading the rebellion against Princess Platinum. That may also be useful to know."
"Equessse, we will confer with father Sstrongwing ass well," Midnight Star gave Celestia a deferential look. "Ass you can well imagine, he iss wisse in many wayss. If he thinkss that bringing your ssisster into Sstratoss to meet uss iss a good idea, then we will look forward to it. Now, we musst go. The ssun will risse in a few hourss and we musst be ssafely under Sstratoss when that happenss. We are blind in the daylight. We will return tonight and wait for you. If you wissh us to pick you up, make a light with your magic in the night and sshine it in the air. Flassh it three timess, twisse. If we do not come, we cannot, but we will do our besst. And pleasse, do not reveal uss to anypony. Our appearansse is, as you know, horrible, and poniess will lassh out when afraid."
Celestia's eyes widened. "You appearance is not horrible!" She walked to them and laid her cheek on Moondark's neck, then did the same for Midnight Star. "You are both beautiful and brave! And I would be happy to think of you as my friends."
Moondark stood silently for a moment, as a tear ran down the cheek of his sister. "Even our father never ssaid we were beautiful. He ssaid we would be frightful in the eyess of otherss, but he loved uss and ssaw uss for who we were insside. But he never ssaid we were beautiful. Do you mean that?"
"I swear it upon the sun, moon and stars!" There was a pulse of power, and Starswirl gasped. The nightwings both smiled, tears freely running down Midnight Star's cheeks, though her prophetic brother seemed made of sterner stuff.
Midnight Star was decidedly more loquacious. "And you are gloriouss, Equesse, a hero of the ancient age reborn. It iss a great honor to be your friend. Now we must go." They both bowed deeply and took off with the chariot, rapidly disappearing into the night.
Starswirl walked up to her and stroked her mane. "They are right. You are glorious."
She laughed. "You're just trying to get laid." He grinned in return.
"Don't blame a guy for trying." His eyes were warm on her.
"Tempting as the thought is, we have to get to Measure Legscye before the conspirators. The guards from the capital should be here in the afternoon to collect her, so let's get to her place and make sure she's secure until then. Come on!" She trotted forward to the road and he followed after, his eyes taking her in in the moonlight.
"Glorious," he whispered.
"Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm... la, da da da da..." The pink earth pony hummed tunelessly around the broom in her mouth, her pale yellow mane shaking and glinting in the early morning sunlight as she swept out her shop. Measure Legscye, you have to learn the lyrics to that song some day...
The small, tidy store was nestled between a bakery and chemist's shop. Today was a good day; the chemist was downwind. The leggy mare inhaled deeply and the aroma of fresh bread filled her nostrils. Beats the smell of a clindamycin suspension any day of the week. She wrinkled her nose at the memory the odor of dirty socks. Dirty socks worn by dirty diamond dogs digging in the dirty dirt... She chuckled at herself as she pushed the small pile of collected dust out the front door, the breeze picking it up as it blew towards the chemist's.
She shivered as she put the broom in the corner and closed the door. It's colder than usual this morning, she thought as she grabbed and donned a white woolen hat and scarf from a peg on the wall. Well, the sun is burning out, apparently. Unless somepony comes up with a bright idea, we'll all be ponycicles next winter!
She forced that disturbing thought to the back of her mind as she fiddled with the clothing on her ponnequins, adjusting a fashionably flared skirt here, cinching a bodice there, until she was satisfied with the display. Then she walked into the back of her store, laying out her patterns, cloth and the sewing boxes she had organized by job type. She hefted her namesake legscye, a tool used to properly mark cloth for fitted foreleg sleeves, and made sure it was sized properly for the dress that had been ordered. A size four, for Banana Nutmeg. Check.
There was a soft noise behind her, and she whirled around, shears in her hoof. These connected, quite by accident, with a rather surprised earth pony dressed all in black, wearing a mask over her eyes. She shrieked as the blades sliced deeply into the soft tissue between her nostrils, bright red blood erupting from her muzzle.
Measure shrieked back, the blood splattering her face and hooves, and she dropped the scissors. The intruder groaned and placed a black sack she had in a saddle bag over the wound, applying direct pressure as tears streamed down her face. "I'm so sorry! Oh gosh, let me get a doctor!" The would-be kidnapper was making whimpering noises, putting her muzzle in her air as she tried to staunch the flow, staggering and falling back onto her haunches, tears streaming from her eyes.
Measure ran out the front of her shop and barreled straight into Starswirl. The two went down in a jingling, bloody heap as Celestia came around the corner. "Starswirl! Stop fooling around!"
She gasped as he extricated himself from Measure, blood sticking to his beard and face. "Oh honey, are you hurt?"
"I'm fine, babe." He looked at the pink earth mare, with blood spattered all over her front. "What happened to you?"
She shook her head. "I'm fine. The blood isn't mine; there's a mare in the shop who's badly hurt. I'm off to find a doctor!"
Celestia's heart fell as she jumped to the wrong conclusion. "You aren't going anywhere! Who sent you!? Who do you work for!?" Celestia lowered her horn, threateningly.
"What, who me? I work for myself. What is all this about?" The mare backed up fearfully as Celestia's horn glowed pink and a nimbus shone across Measure's features. "What did you just do!?"
Celestia looked chagrined as the identification spell did its work. "Sorry, Ms. Legscye. I thought you were the assassin." Measure's eyes widened as she realized she had been magically identified by a unicorn mage. A huge, white mare with pink mane and tail.
"Equesse Celestia?" Celestia still wasn't used to being recognized throughout Unicornia, but she had a rather distinct appearance, after all.
"Please, don't." Celestia reached down to lift the earth pony from her curtsy. "We don't have time for that now and anyway, it's all nonsense. I'm really just an apprentice mage. But we have to get you out of here!"
"Well, first we need to get a doctor for that... assassin you say? Why would somepony want to assassinate me? I'm a dressmaker, not a politician!"
"And I ab dot an athathid! I'm a kitnapher!" The pony in black stood shakily in the doorway as blood dripped down her neck and chest. "Ad we butht go now! Dey cub!"
The three ponies in the street stared, uncomprehending. "Dey cub! Dey... bah!" She trotted up to Celestia and let the black sack fall to the ground, blood oozing afresh. "Heal be blease! We are all in danger!"
The wound, though bloody and extremely painful, was actually shallow and superficial. No delving was necessary for Celestia to cauterize the split capillaries and suture the sundered flesh between the earth pony's nostrils. "Oh! Thank you, that was fast! You're good, aren't you?" Celestia murmured something dismissive of the praise as the earth pony reached up and removed her mask. Pale blue eyes blazed over a still-bloody gray muzzle as a fluffy golden mane burst free of its confines. "I was sent here to take Measure to safety, but now it looks like I'll have to rescue you too!"
Starswirl scowled as he exclaimed, "What do you mean, you have to rescue us? From what, exactly?"
Celestia reached out with her magical senses, searching for a threat. Her mane almost stood on end and she gasped as she felt daggers of ice enter her mind. Stars, the power! She whirled around, a moan of despair leaving her throat as she looked upward. A ragged black line drew itself across the blue, clear sky and the temperature seemed to drop twenty degrees in a second.
"From that! Quick, take hold of my cloak, all of you, and close your eyes! Keep them closed; hurry!"
Celestia was terrified. The others were frightened, but she knew the cold, dark minds that regarded them, that prepared to destroy them, to drink their lives. She had identified their enemy. Wendigos. A word to frighten foals and conjure nightmares. We're in a ghost story.
A head, like a pony's but elongated and narrow, ice blue with a white mane entered the world through the tear in the fabric of reality and turned to look at her. Dead eyes, black and empty as space, regarded the party. No, not empty; they were full of hatred... and hunger.
"Close your eyes! Grab her cloak, now!" Celestia had no idea what good it would do, but the identification spell had confirmed that this strange gray earth pony was at least a real pony named Cookie Dough. But there was something odd about her, something off. And there was certainly nothing Celestia herself could do about the wendigo. The grand archmage must be informed; maybe she'd know what to do about it.
She closed her eyes and grabbed the trailing black cloak of Cookie Dough. Starswirl looked at Measure and they both shrugged and did the same. "No peeking!" Cookie Dough seemed to be moving somewhere. "If you open your eyes before we get out the other side, you'll wind up in the nuthouse! Or at least highly eccentric." She reached for what looked like a crack in the doorframe, and then everything sttrrreeeetttttcccccchhhhhhheeeeeeeedddddddddd oooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttt..............
Celestia didn't know what was happening, but it felt as though she was miles long and only a few atoms thick. Strange lights shone against what she thought of as her closed eyelids. A hoof that was a piece of spaghetti a city block long gripped a cloak as solid as interstellar gas and she was pulled between spaces, around corners, through cracks in the earth and capillaries in the roots of trees. Or so it seemed; her eyes were squeezed shut.
"Wwwwweeeeee aaaaaarrrrrreeeeee ccccoooommmmiiiinnnnggggg iiiiinnnnn! Hhhhhoooollllldddd ttttiiiiggghht!" With that, there was a popping sound and Celestia felt like she was being built up from strands of thread and woven back into the tapestry of her own body. She opened her eyes. They were in a cellar, and it was cold and dark, the only light coming from a small oil lamp. In the wall behind them, there was a crack. We came through that?!
She shook her head and shouted at Cookie Dough as Starswirl and Measure blinked and stared in amazement at their surroundings. "What are you?!"
The gray pony smiled broadly at them all. "I'm a Weaver, of course. And we've just been through the Loom, your h-- okay, right?" She looked briefly confused, then shook her head and grinned in a slightly mad manner. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have to clean up a bit. Still have to keep an eye on you for now, though." With that, she backed up into the crack on the wall, her body seeming to squeeze into the tiny space until all that was left was an blue eye on the wall which stared at them under long lashes. The trio returned the stare, mouths agape. The eye winked at them, merrily.
Starswirl was the first to break the silence. "Well... this is seriously weird and creepy, but I think we know how the earth pony spy network functions now."
"What the hay is going on around here!? Is this some kind of crazy dream or something?" Measure Legscye felt around herself, muttering, "I really have to stop eating Haytalian food before going to bed."
"Putting aside this unusual incident," Starswirl said, motioning to the eyeball on the wall, "do you have any insight as to what we were fleeing?"
Celestia shivered, and not from the cold. "Yes. But I want to talk to Dream Chaser first, just to make sure I know what I'm talking about. I don't want bad information to get out." She made a small head motion towards the blood-spattered Measure who was kneeling, looking at the eyeball, which seemed to think it was in a staring contest with her. Starswirl nodded grimly.
Measure made a startled grunt and backed up from the wall as Cookie Dough, now clean and divested of her black costume, popped back into the room, her eyeball snapping back to her head, rocking it back sightly. "Miss me? Except for my eye?" She winked and smiled, still vibrating slightly like a soft rubber ball that has just finished bouncing. Celestia and Starswirl shared a look.
"Oh come on, don't everypony thank me all at once here!" She reached back into her puffy golden mane and from somewhere, pulled out a pitcher of water, a wash basin and some towels. "Maybe you should get cleaned up first, Measure."
"Umm..." Celestia was still at a loss for words when speaking to this... Weaver... whatever that meant. "Could we maybe get an explanation or something?"
"Well... no, not really. But you can have some cookies." The impossible mare reached back into her mane once more and pulled out a big plate of hot chocolate chip cookies, released it to float in mid-air, and then quickly reached to a location just outside of Celestia's peripheral vision, retrieving a set of table and chairs that obviously weren't there before and moved them under the cookie plate, which dropped onto the table with a clatter.
"I, I, ah..." Celestia sputtered. "I really don't want any cookies, thank you, though I appreciate the offer. What I really would like is..."
Cookie Dough cheerfully interrupted her, "Cake! Of course, how could I forget? Sorry!" She slammed her face down on the table and somehow managed to fit the entire tray of cookies in her mouth. She made a loud swallowing sound, and the platter was plainly visible as it expanded her throat to five times its normal width, hitting the floor with a clang as the bottom of Cookie's belly rebounded when it reached her stomach.
"Hey, just a..." Starswirl was dumbfounded. "How? Why? Where?" He dabbed lightly at his beard with a wet towel, absently noting that Cookie Dough's blood tasted rather like strawberry jam.
She ignored him, smiling broadly at Celestia and reaching once more into her mane. She produced a rather large and elaborately decorated white cake, placing it on the table. Cookie Dough shook her head and four plates flew out to land in a stack. "Yellow cake with creme vanilla frosting and raspberry filling!" She pulled a cake knife out of nowhere and started serving up.
"Wha... my favorite!" Celestia couldn't resist licking her lips. Of all her vices, cake was the most irresistible. If it was yellow cake with creme vanilla frosting and raspberry filling, she really didn't care where it came from. She salivated. "Do you have any coffee up there, by chance?"
"I always keep some stashed around in case of a coffee emergency. Which happens to me every morning, for some reason." She swept away her poofy golden tail and a silver coffee service appeared as though it had been there the whole time. Celestia grinned as a deliciously calorie-laden plate was deposited in front of her.
"Celestia, how can you eat cake at a time like this?" Starswirl looked at her in confused outrage as Cookie Dough poured a steaming cup for the Equesse.
Celestia's horn glowed and her saddle bag opened. Napkins and silverware floated out to complete the four settings. "With a fork, my dear. I hope you don't think me uncivilized." She giggled and then closed her mouth around a mouthful of pure delight.
"So, Weaver, please explain to me, just one more time so I understand, exactly why we have a member of the aristocracy of Unicornia, a warmage no less, and her lover, the stallion who reportedly invented a safe teleport spell, in the basement of the Freehold Chancellery?" The tan stallion wearing chain and plate and armed with a shortspear stood in the door, switching his gaze between Cookie Dough, Celestia and Starswirl. Several other earthponies, including the Chancellor, goggled at Celestia over his shoulder, torn between fascination and abject terror.
"Sure thing, Captain Ironbutt!" Cookie Dough grinned maniacally.
"Ironflank, if you please, Weaver." The powerfully built warrior was rapidly approaching maximum exasperation, but his voice was a study in self-discipline, Celestia noted. "Captain. Iron. Flank."
"But it sounds much funnier that way! Oh, alright. So what were we talking about? Oh yeah! This morning, I picked up some really bad juju jangling up the warp and woof, in the form of eldritch and malign interstellar beings, hungry ones, moving through the loom with the intent of killing Measure Legscye here," she gestured at the seamstress with a dazed look on her face, "for some reason that I don't understand at all but they must be pretty desperate to get her if they risked opening a direct gate, but anyway when I got there she surprised me with a very effective scissor slash and disabled me for a bit and then went out her front door and I followed her and she was talking to P... uh, ponies, these two ponies right here, Equesse Celestia and Starswirl, who apparently had come to rescue her too and I wonder how they knew she would need rescuing and why they'd have an interest but moving right along, I couldn't leave them to get frozen by the Wendigos because they're kind of important but I can't tell you why, Weaver's Prerogative you know, and anyway it would have been really mean of me not to help them so after Celestia healed my wounds I shuttled all three of them with me back to the safe room because I needed to go to a place I knew really well that was far away and secure, and then we got cleaned up and had coffee and cake and oh yeah I ate a whole plate of cookies!" Her mad grin widened.
Celestia marveled that she hadn't needed to breath throughout that entire statement, then regarded Ironflank as he frowned and tried to parse through the massive run-on sentence. "I think I heard Weaver's Prerogative in there someplace, didn't I?"
"You betcha, Captain Ironbutt!"
Ironflank sighed, then turned to address the Chancellor. "Weaver's Prerogative , Chancellor Pudding."
Bread Pudding rolled her green eyes, shaking her straight, coal black mane. "I hate Weaver's Prerogative ." The white earth mare wore a grim expression and turned to briefly consult with her fellow politicians, and they took turns glancing at Cookie Dough and Celestia. "I suppose we had better receive them properly then. I beg your pardon, Equesse, but this is highly irregular."
"That is an understatement, Chancellor." Celestia allowed a small smile. She hadn't known many earth ponies personally, but given that they were either farmers or menial laborers in Unicornia, they had a reputation as being simple, stolid and hard-working. It seems that the Freeholders were rather more sophisticated than Princess Platinum's court gave them credit for, insane Weavers aside.
"Please accompany us upstairs, Equesse. It's a bit more comfortable in the Assembly Hall." She smiled, but to Celestia's eye it was a wary smile. All of the earth ponies with the exception of Cookie Dough, had a similar expression, but Ironflank gripped his spear tightly.
These ponies were absolutely terrified of her. Why? She glanced at Starswirl who returned her worried look. "Very well, Chancellor." She walked forward, followed by Starswirl and a confused Measure Legscye, with a pronking Cookie Dough bringing up the rear. She ascended a spiral staircase, ducking her head and twisting her neck in a rather undignified manner, until she got to the landing at top of the stairs. The door was opened and she again ducked to get through the threshold.
She found herself surrounded by a dozen earth pony guards, spears at the ready. They all looked worried, as though they had been expected to fight a bolt of lightning or a raging fire with nothing but their spears. Celestia wasn't worried; her body shield was up. May was well be pleasant about all this. It isn't their fault. "Hello, I'm Celestia."
The guards stared. They were all large, powerful stallions, and she towered over them. She could swear that she heard somepony's knees knocking as the rest of the group filed out behind her. Until Chancellor Bread Pudding came up the stairs, the guards never stopped looking at Celestia.
"Oh, by rock and soil, stand down. It's not like you could actually do anything to her. She's not going to kill anypony," Bread Pudding gave Cookie Dough a hard look, and continued, "I don't think. So break it up."
The sergeant of the guard caught Ironflank's eye, and the captain nodded almost imperceptibly. "Yes, Chancellor. Right you lot, back to your posts. Except you, Broadhoof, you stay with me." An exceptionally large and heavyset reddish pony grunted and stood to the side while the rest trotted back to positions around the large hall, glancing suspiciously at the unicorns as they did so.
"Well now, this is a pretty mess." The Chancellor led them to an oval table where one chair was raised above the others, and turned around to sit it in. "Please sit down. Can I get you something?"
"I think we're all pretty full," Celestia said, taking a seat immediately to the right of Bread Pudding. Starswirl sat next to her as Cookie Dough led the still bewildered Measure Legscye to a seat on the other side and then sat herself, apparently fascinated with the grain of the tabletop.
Starswirl nodded. "I really don't think I could eat another bite. Cookie Dough basically stuffed us full of dessert."
Bread Pudding nodded. "I figured she had, but I wanted to be polite. Anyways... there are a lot of questions here. Where to begin? Ah. What is your interest in Measure Legscye here, and why do you suppose these, ah... Wendigos you say... were after her as well? That isn't a coincidence. Ah, there you are!" A small, slender mare had come running up to the table, bearing several thick books in her saddle bags. "Pretty Smart, I need you to take notes and do some of that advising that you're so good at."
The mare smiled in response to the praise, exposing perfect white teeth, and Celestia realized that she was staring. Beyond all doubt, this was the best looking mare she had ever seen. The lines of her coffee colored flanks and neck were exquisite, and her amber eyes shone like liquid gold. Her auburn mane and long, silky tail almost shimmered in the torch light. She practically glowed with wholesome good health. Even her cutie mark was lovely; a red quill and crystal inkwell rendered in exquisite detail by whatever agency of destiny it was that emblazoned pony flanks. And despite all that, Pretty Smart appeared absolutely unconcerned about her appearance. There was an ink smudge on her perfectly symmetrical face under one eye, and that only seemed to make her all the more endearing. Her hooves looked much as Celestia's had, before she learned of the joy of the hooficure. Her mane and tail were just naturally groomed somehow; the hairs out of place managed to form complementary waves that no stylist ever envisioned.
"Yes, Chancellor, but if you will pardon me for a moment..." Pretty Smart turned to Celestia and performed an elegant curtsy. "Good evening, my lady, and welcome to the Freeholds." She looked up at Celestia, the whites of her eyes showing under the irises in a way that seemed somehow erotically submissive, causing the unicorn to briefly doubt her sexual orientation. "I am Pretty Smart, the Archivist. If you require anything of me, it is yours for the asking." Anything? Celestia, stop, what are you thinking?
"What is all this, Pretty Smart?" barked Bread Pudding. "That's a fine way for an appointed official of the Republic to behave, like you're some kind of bowing peasant!"
Pretty Smart stood and addressed the Chancellor. "Madame Chancellor, it is protocol according to the Treaty of Five Timbers, that the most senior member of the nobility of Unicornia present in a peaceful gathering in the Freeholds be rendered appropriate honors according to the customs of Unicornia by all save for the Head of State."
"That treaty is five hundred years old!" The Chancellor's eyes bugged out in surprise. "What is that, some codicil to part seven, paragraph three or something like that? How could you know that?"
"Oh, just a little research, Chancellor." Pretty Smart allowed herself the indulgence of a small smile without appearing smug. "I would prefer not to risk a diplomatic incident or worse for the sake of a few ceremonial niceties." She returned her gaze to Celestia, and her eyes fell on the torc of Ponyeidus. She blinked in surprise, but said nothing.
"Archivist, I can assure you that such niceties are wasted on me, no matter how gracefully performed. I'm just an apprentice mage, really." Celestia nodded her head and smiled at the beautiful earth pony. "But I thank you for your courtesy." Pretty Smart stood and nodded in return before walking to take a seat beside the still disoriented Measure Legscye.
Starswirl leaned over to Celestia and whispered, "You are blushing, my love." She swallowed but made no comment. Starswirl chuckled softly and sat back.
"Now that the ah, formalities have been observed, Equesse, perhaps you could explain exactly what you were doing going to fetch Measure Legscye at the same time she was being attacked by these... things?" The Chancellor arched her eyebrows and sat back in her chair.
"With all due respect, Chancellor, Measure Legscye is a citizen of Unicornia, and we were within our borders." Celestia leaned back in her chair as well, looking down on the assembly with what she hoped was an air of confidence.
"True, but she's now in the Freehold and as an earth pony, by treaty, she's entitled to the protection of the Republic." The Chancellor glanced over at her archivist, who pursed her full lips thoughtfully, but said nothing.
Starswirl looked at Celestia, who nodded to him, and he spoke. "Chancellor, she has not applied for sanctuary, nor is she a fugitive from justice, so I doubt that would be applicable. And we only knew that she was in some sort of danger; we received some intelligence that there was a threat against her, but that was all we knew."
Bread Pudding sighed. "A pair of wizards rushing to the rescue of a seamstress living in a border town based on some rumor of a threat? Why? Why not leave that to the guards or the constabulary?"
Celestia answered, "She has information, possibly important information. In fact, given the Wendigo incursion, I'd say it may be vitally important. But it isn't the sort of information that we could go around sharing with everypony else. We just wanted to ask her some questions, but it seems like we..." she sighed, "... like I underestimated the danger she was in."
"And is the danger she finds herself in somehow related to something you may have done or said, Equesse?" Pretty Smart raised an eyebrow. Sharp, isn't she!
Celestia lowered her eyes. "Yes. And I am very sorry," she said, looking at Measure, "that I exposed you to danger. I assumed that whatever was to come, I would be able to handle it, and I was wrong. If it wasn't for Cookie Dough, " she nodded in humility, "we'd all be dead now, I should think. Or worse."
"Yeah, pretty much," replied the Weaver with equanimity.
Pretty Smart cleared her throat. "Perhaps we should ask Ms. Legscye if she requires asylum. The terms of the agreement are not that the Unicornian earth pony need be a fugitive from justice, but just that she have a reasonable concern for her safety in Unicornia."
The Chancellor nodded. "Indeed. If she does not, then we have no grounds to interfere with The Equesse questioning her." She turned to look at the seamstress. "Measure Legscye, do you request our protection, or would you prefer to cooperate with Equesse Celestia?"
Measure Legscye looked at Bread Pudding, then Celestia, then the Chancellor again before answering, "It was snowing on the third plane of Tartarus, but it was snowing fireflakes. Isn't that strange?"
The Chancellor stared. "What?"
"Every graph with a minimum degree of three contains a simple cycle whose length is a power of two." Spittle showed on Measure's lip as the Chancellor tilted her head, trying to make sense of the words.
"Hey, that's graph theory!" Cookie Dough looked scandalized. "You peeked! I said no peeking!"
"The stars sang to me and I had to see the music." The seamstress looked at a space about a hundred yards past Cookie Dough's head.
The Weaver sighed. "She's a peeker alright."
"So... I take it that means she's not in any shape to provide us with our information," Starswirl said ruefully as he looked at the mad seamstress with pity in his eyes.
"She'll settle down in a few weeks. Or at least I did, when I first peeked. She'll be fine!" Cookie Dough grinned from ear to ear. "I needed an apprentice anyway."
Pretty Smart scribbled as Bread Putting put her head in her hooves and moaned, "Oh no... not another one!"
Celestia fidgeted as Cookie Dough examined Measure Legscye. This is going on for a bit longer than is socially comfortable, I think. And it's... weird. Why would it be necessary to comb out the unfortunate madpony's hair and check the comb for... what did she call them, superstrings? When the Weaver found one, she grinned and touched it to her tongue. Gross! "Yep, that's a keeper!" And then she seemed to toss the invisible mote into her own wild mane. What the hay? She looked over at Chancellor Bread Pudding, who smiled sympathetically, shrugging silently in keeping with the Weaver's demand for complete silence during this "potentially dangerous procedure." Apparently there was a risk of antimatter, whatever that was supposed to be, being emitted by the mane of the unbalanced novice Weaver, and that would be "very, very, very..." Cookie Dough had repeated the word at least seventeen times, "...bad."
Weavers... this is news to us unicorns. And to the pegasi too, unless they were withholding, and I don't think they were. She thought back to Strongwing's intimation that once in a while, the earth ponies appeared to be able to do things that simply weren't possible, to know things that were not knowable. He had an idea, but nothing specific. I wonder how long this has been a secret? Impressive, considering that it appears to be common knowledge among the Chancellery staff, at any rate, and that's a fair number of ponies. Hmm... maybe this won't be news to Princess Platinum. It's not like she's necessarily sharing all of her intelligence with Starswirl and me. In fact, I hope that she knows, and the Chancellor knows she knows, because otherwise we may not be allowed to leave. Yes, she could certainly do a lot of damage, but earth ponies and strong and hardy and given enough numbers, they could take her and Starswirl down. Perhaps their fearful behavior earlier was just to give her a false sense of confidence. But they certainly seem very nice.
Cookie Dough tossed the comb up into the air above Celestia's line of vision, and when she looked up it was just... gone. She looked over at Starswirl, who closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief, muttering something about abuse of the Hoofenberg Uncertainty Principle. "Okie dokie! Or maybe that's Cookie Dough-key! Ha ha! All done! For now anyway, but I'll need to keep combing out her mane over the next few weeks to make sure we don't have an uncontrolled high energy event." She stopped for a moment, a look of pure mischief in her eyes, then spoke with relish. "I guess I have to groom her for her new position. Ha!" She exulted as the assembled ponies groaned.
Celestia recovered quickly. "I suppose that means we can't bring her with us back to Unicornia, at least until she doesn't pose an existential threat, right?" Cookie Dough nodded, smiling. "And it will be a while before she is able to communicate anything that we mere mortals can understand, correct?"
Cookie Dough started to nod again, then stopped and stared at Celestia, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Yeah... mortals."
Celestia blinked, nonplussed. "What? I was making a joke, sorry."
"Suuure you were." The eyeballs continued their scrutiny, bulging slightly from between slitted eyelids. Celestia looked around, mystified and somewhat worried. She was rescued by Chancellor Bread Pudding, who cleared her throat, distracting the Weaver.
"Cookie Dough, I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it. Of course, we have another problem. Equesse , you and Master Starswirl here are in possession of information about the existence and capabilities of earth pony Weavers. I won't mince words; ponies have been killed in the past in order to keep this information secret." Celestia swallowed as Starswirl's eyes widened. "But of course, it won't come to that in this case." She said something under her breath which may have been "If that were even possible," then continued out loud. "If all ponies, indeed all races on the planet, are under threat from these Wendigos, " Cookie Dough turned, smiling, and nodded at the Chancellor enthusiastically, "and our expert here confirms this, then we have no choice but to ally with you until the threat has been dealt with."
"Thank you Chancellor; we were hoping to secure such an alliance. In fact, Cookie Dough here managed to speed up our timetable as well as saving all of us." Celestia breathed a sigh of relief and smiled broadly. "I can't tell you how happy this makes me."
Bread Pudding nodded, smiling in return. "Necessity makes the best allies. However, as you have our deepest, darkest secret in hoof, I really need something in return. Several somethings." Pretty Smart leaned over and whispered in the Chancellor's ear. "Yes, yes, I'll ask about that too. Now, Equesse, there are some questions I have for you about the Battle of Riverside, where you made your debut, as it were. We have a fair amount of information from a variety of sources, and let me assure you, my earth pony informers are universal in their high opinion of you. You are known to be kind, honest and brave, and you are also well regarded by Platinum and the rest of her inner circle. You have something which we earth ponies see as being lacking in unicorns in general and by the unicorn nobility in particular. Humility. See? You are blushing furiously already." Celestia could feel her cheeks burning even as Starswirl smiled warmly at hearing that he was not alone in his estimation of her.
"I'm not really... I'm not a hero, if that is what they are saying. The battle was awful. I never want to see another one. I never want to hurt another pony as long as I live." Starswirl leaned over and stroked her mane as tears ran down her cheeks, and she turned and smiled at him. The blackened face of the mare hung for stealing foal formula swirled in her thoughts, as always when she recalled Riverside. For some reason, that one was the worst.
Bread Pudding smiled sadly and nodded. "The truly great do not see themselves as such, Celestia. And I realize it will be painful for you to recount the battle, but my intelligence is unclear as to how exactly you managed to win. All I heard was that a mage of great power defeated a much larger force of unicorn mercenaries, killing and wounding most of them and scattering the rest in an instant with a single spell. Some sort of mighty explosion. We know well that unicorns can beam magical power at targets, and skilled mages have more subtle spells, but we've never heard of a spell generating an explosion at a distance. What did you do?"
Her voice was hollow as she replied, "I did what I had to. It wasn't planned. The guards had brought barrels of caltrops which are used for crowd control and area denial, " she hoped she recalled the military terminology correctly, "and when we were pinned down and were being surrounded, I cast enchantments on two of the caltrops in the center of the barrel, polarized so that one carried a positive charge and the other a negative. I left the enchantments unenclosed, levitated the barrel over the enemy command post, and then pushed the two caltrops into direct contact." Cookie Dough winced. "The magical arcing vaporized the two caltrops, turning them into iron gas and most of the rest in the barrel into molten metal. The expansion of the gas in the enclosed space of the barrel created an explosion that sprayed the molten metal at high velocity in a radius of about 60 feet and threw caltrops on the outside of the barrel a quarter mile. They don't know exactly how many ponies I killed because there were so many body parts everywhere."
There was silence around the table until a slightly green Chancellor Bread Pudding swallowed loudly and said, "Thank you for that information."
Cookie Dough stared at her, amazed. "How much did the barrel weigh?"
"About three hundred pounds." The Weaver whistled.
"Yes, she's basically as powerful as the Grand Archmage when it comes to raw magical force." Starswirl patted her hoof and continued, "She sort of flattened an Academy Mage who tried to shut her up when she was in the sixth grade."
That seemed to revive her somewhat. "He got me angry, Swirly. Yelling at you like that... he was acting like a brute." She smiled and patted his hoof back, the horrors of the battle retreating to the back of her mind.
Pretty Smart piped up, "Why was he yelling at Starswirl?"
Celestia turned to face her. "He had just crafted a safe teleport spell and Obsidian Spark was trying to impress upon him how unsafe that was."
The gorgeous earth mare was confused. "Wait, what? How old was Starswirl when he figured out the teleport spell?"
The Equesse stroked her lover's beard. "Twelve, like me. He had just demonstrated it that morning when Obsidian showed up to collect him and take him to the Academy. He's the brains, I'm the brawn." She chuckled.
"You're just as smart as I am, honey. You just aren't as mathemagically inclined. You however, could overpower me, and I would be helpless. Utterly helpless." He grinned as a small growl escaped from his fillyfriend.
Pretty Smart was blushing when the Chancellor harrumphed. "Please, you're going to scandalize my assistant. We'll give you a room once you've answered a few more questions." Pretty Smart blushed even brighter at that, and Celestia had to admit to herself that if there was anypony she'd ever consider sharing Starswirl with, it would be this one. Life in Platinum's court had, after all, opened her eyes to certain things, particularly through conversations with the princess' gossip-laden mares-in-waiting. Perhaps fortunately, for all of Pretty Smart's intelligence, she was hopeless when it came to reading body language. Starswirl, however, raised an eyebrow, earning a scowl from his lover.
"Yes, yes, I'm sure Starswirl here was just trying to lighten the mood. So, what other questions have you?" Celestia focused on the serious business at hand, ignoring Starswirl's hoof under the table.
"Two more. First, we've heard some rumors about a giant lens that would be used to concentrate heat during the day, allowing crops to grow as they once did. Naturally, we are interested in this, but we've also heard that this will have a significant impact on freeholder contracts with cloudherders and rainfarmers. Could you expound on that?"
Starswirl raised his eyebrows at Celestia questioningly, and she nodded. The table lit up as Starswirl cast a series of illusions, recreating the presentation that they showed to the pegasi. Starswirl spoke and the earth ponies received the alarming information with a quiet stoicism, quite the opposite of the hysteria that greeted them in Stratopolis. The exception was Legscye Measure, who gazed at the illusion, smiling, muttering something about pixels, whatever they were.
Starswirl wound up the presentation with an animation showing the impact of the the coming winters first without and then with the lens. The glaciers built up on the table by year two without the lens, and cold seemed to permeate the room as the ponies around the table contemplated the end. Then with the lens, the first two years seemed almost normal, though the glaciers built up around the lands inhabited by ponies. By the third year, the ice crept in, and Bread Pudding couldn't help but notice that the ice built up faster the further away from Unicornia you were. By the fourth year, the freeholds were buried under twenty feet of snow. By the fifth year, it was a hundred feet and the lens, now thicker and concentrating heat in a smaller area, was barely able to keep half of Unicornia itself unfrozen. By the sixth year, it was over.
"So... five years, and only three years for the freeholds?" she asked glumly. Pretty Smart was stricken, and even Cookie Dough seemed subdued.
Starswirl nodded soberly. "That's the best we can do; solar output is dropping too fast. According to our model of star lifespans, the sun is close to the start of a red giant phase. It's almost out of fuel."
"So the Wendigos aren't causing this? It's just natural?" Pretty Smart was utterly dismayed. "So even if we work together to drive off the Wendigos, what's the point? What can we accomplish except to draw out the end?"
Celestia cleared her throat. "We don't know, but we'll have more time to think of something. And we'll all work together. The unicorn that came up with the idea for the lens was in prison. Princess Platinum has ordered the Academy to entertain any suggestion from anypony."
"Except maybe from a darkfoal," muttered Starswirl.
"A darkfoal? What's that?" Bread Pudding titled her head as Pretty Smart covered her mouth in horror. "Smarty?"
"A legend. A myth. A scary story from thousands of years ago. But if they actually did exist, they'd be the natural allies of the Wendigos."
Celestia stared at the archivist. "Why?" Her voice was small and frightened.
"In the Hyperboran Codex, darkfoals are known for opening portals. Mostly to Tartarus, but elsewhere as well, and they do so in order to make contracts with demonic forces. They seek power, long life, forbidden knowledge... a darkfoal is a pony willing to make great sacrifices for personal gain, and frequently that involves sacrificing the lives of others. The tales speak of unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies, but also other species of ponies; mythological ones like sea ponies and breezies and even stranger things called crystallines and changelings , so you can see how the Codex is considered by scholars to be a mythological bestiary and not a history." She lowered her hoof slowly to the tabletop. "It seems like an odd sort of joke to make, Master Starswirl."
Celestia smiled grimly. "He wasn't joking. A darkfoal tried to murder me in the Academy a few years ago. The archmage stopped him and he jumped into a Tartarus Gate."
Cookie Dough nodded thoughtfully. "Makes sense. I'm not the only pony who can read the warp and woof of the universe, you know. There are a great many threads that cross with yours, Celestia. Cut that thread, and a large chunk of the fabric could unravel. That would create opportunities for certain... entities. They could move through the hole left in the fabric. That would be bad." For once, she seemed totally serious.
Celestia noticed that Starswirl was staring at Pretty Smart with his mouth hanging open in amazement. "Swirly?" He didn't respond, so she tapped him on his forehead. "Anypony home?"
He blinked, then said in a shaking voice, "You've seen the Hyperborean Codex? You've read the Hyperborean Codex!? "
Pretty Smart swallowed, still trying to take everything in, and responded, "Well, yes, it's in the archive. Do you want to look at it?"
"The Grand Archmage would give her left forehoof for a copy." His eyes bugged out of his head and his skin darkened, his bells jingling with pent up energy. "The last copy we had at the Academy was lost in a fire six hundred years ago. So yes, I'd like to see it now, please." His intensity was... disturbing. I wish he'd get that worked up about me, thought Celestia. That must be a sexy codex. She giggled quietly as Starswirl practically vibrated.
The Chancellor held up a hoof. "Let's get back to this question of darkfoals, attempted murder, Tartarus Gates and the Wendigos, please. And then, back to the rain issue. Could the darkfoal and the Wendigos be connected?" Starswirl shook his head to clear it and seemed to get control of himself. Barely.
Celestia nodded, steepling her hooves in front of her muzzle. "Certainly. The timing could be coincidental, but a darkfoal, who can flee this world for Tartarus, and who knows where else, could escape a dying star. Perhaps he made a deal with the Wendigos to bring them here in return for his own survival."
Starswirl looked sour, having been denied his book. "Heh. Maybe we should make a deal with some interstellar horrors of our own to save the sun," he said sarcastically. The, two remarkable things happened; Cookie Dough started twitching uncontrollably, but not all of her, just her mane. And Measure Legscye looked straight at him, perfectly lucid, and smiled.
She opened her mouth to speak. "Something like that." Then Cookie Dough launched herself at the seamstress and tackled her, knocking her off her chair.
"No, no, no! Bad apprentice! You have to be mysterious and inscrutable! It's the rules!" The Weaver looked particularly deranged, her eyes bulging and her mane dancing to the beat of some unheard music.
Measure smiled up beatifically at her, despite the rough handling. "Sorry, I'm new."
"Right. What can the observer know about a particle?" The senior madpony continued to hold her apprentice lunatic down on the floor.
"Position or momentum, but never both. The degree of precision with which one property is measured is inversely correlated to the degree of precision with which the other property may be measured." Measure smiled as Cookie nodded. The rest of the ponies at the table waited patiently for this Weaver moment to pass.
"And what happens if they know precisely both properties simultaneously?"
"They can't know both." Measure looked confused. "It's impossible."
"They can if you tell them." Cookie Dough smiled patiently while Measure absorbed this.
"But how can we know both if it isn't possible?" Measure's eyes crossed with concentration.
"Because, silly , we're impossible too! Wait a second..." Cookie reached her hoof into Measure's mane and pulled out what appeared to be a rubber chicken. "Oh, very nice! This will definitely be useful someday! I'll put it someplace safe. You're emitting all sorts of cool stuff, aren't you?" She seemed to stuff the chicken back into the apprentice's mane.
"That tickles!" Measure laughed loudly and somewhat maniacally.
"Alright apprentice, you have to start taking your impossibility seriously, understand? You are not to speak to anypony except for me, got it? Not until you can explain to me, in the context of harmonic analysis, why one cannot at the same time localize the value of a function and its Foalier transform. Got it?"
Starswirl's brow wrinkled. "Foalier transform? Are you two actually talking about applied quantum archanics?"
Measure turned her head and opened her mouth to answer, but Cookie Dough shouted, "Zip it!" before she could speak. Her hoof moved quickly across Measure's mouth, there was a very odd sound, and something metal, sort of like a strip of very fine chainmail with a metal tab hanging off one end, could be seen closing her lips together. Measure made some outraged, muffled sounds, but then she nodded and fell silent. "That's better. Now let's get back up, this is undignified." Cookie Dough helped her back into her chair and sat down. "Alright, shall we continue our little discussion?" Mesasure sat next to her, her face a mask of resignation, the odd contraption dangling the glinting metal tab from the corner of her sealed mouth.
Celestia's mouth hung agape. "How?"
Chancellor Bread Pudding just waved it away. "Don't even ask. We gave up trying to figure it out centuries ago. Now, about the rain contracts..."
"Madam Chancellor," interrupted Pretty Smart, "given the gravity of the situation, I think it's safe to say that all contracts and other commercial agreements will have to be suspended until the emergency is concluded. Or we're all dead, whichever happens first. We need a command economy."
Bread Pudding have her archivist a sidelong glance. "The freeholders would string me up like a piñata and beat me like it was their cuteceañera." Celestia and Starswirl looked at each other, mystified by the reference.
"You could activate the Emergency Powers clause. Then they'd have to do as their told. At least for six months until the mandatory vote, and then they'd be committed anyway."
"And after six months, when I'm no longer the Chancellor? When Dirtflanks takes over and calls for an indictment against me for malgovernance and other high crimes? All the farmers who lost on their existing contracts will line up to take a bite out of me."
"When and if Minister Worthyshanks were to challenge and win the office, you would still have friends in the Holdstead. Do you really think they could convict with two thirds? And does it really matter, since the alternative is arguing about it until it's too late?"
Bread Pudding sighed. "You're right, as usual. You prepare the edict and I'll prepare for the fallout. Now, Celestia, what about if it takes more than two years to figure out how to fix the sun? I saw what happens in year three; we'll be refugees by then. Where will we live? What will we do for food when the freeholds are under ice?"
Celestia smiled. "In year three, you can start moving to my estate. Fifteen hundred acres are being farmed right now, but I have four thousand acres of fallow pasture and eight thousand or so of woodland and swamp."
"And you expect us to become your vassals? We're the free ponies; we're not very good at bowing and scraping." Cookie Dough nodded and Measure Legscye tilted her head, nodding as well, as the metal dangling thing closing her mouth jingled quietly.
"You can have the land outright. I'll keep title to the land currently being farmed, but I'll sign the rest over to your freeholders. You just have to be willing to feed unicorns and pegasi with the produce."
The Chancellor was taken aback. "Now, that is generous."
Celestia shrugged. "It's not like I'm doing anything with it anyway."
"We'll need to start clearing the forest and draining the swamp right away if we want to plant in year three." Pretty Smart chewed becomingly upon her lower lip. "But even if we can get everything plowed and planted in time, that's only about ten percent of the arable land in the freeholds. It's a good start, but we'll need a lot more. Are the rest of the unicorn nobility going to be so generous?"
"Princess Platinum said she'll give up half her demesne, fifty thousand acres. That's sixty two thousand acres; more than half way."
"Very good. But what about the other fifty eight thousand?" The Chancellor glanced at Starswirl who was still staring at the Weavers.
"Oh, well, that's sort of why we need Measure. She can help us find who the traitors are. Then Platinum can cut off their heads and give you their land." Starswirl didn't stop to think about his words; he was obviously still caught up in the implications of applied quantum archanics. Celestia, however, stared in horror.
"I wasn't told about that, darling. It seems a bit... ruthless?" Starswirl recovered himself and blushed.
"Oh, well... sorry, but you did know what was going to happen to the traitors if they didn't turn themselves in. Princess Platinum announced it at your award ceremony. She just mentioned to me that if the earth ponies needed it as an inducement for their cooperation, I could offer it."
"And you decided not to tell me?" She looked hurt, rather than upset.
"The princess suggested that I not talk about it in front of you. Besides, we were supposed to have identified the plotters before we started negotiating with the earth ponies. It wasn't like we planned to use the land as a lever to get them to help us get the information out of Measure." He smiled weakly. "Sorry, I'm sort of improvising here."
"So, we help you find the traitors behind the Riverside assault and we can have their estate or estates, eh?" The Chancellor eyed the apprentice Weaver. "What information do you need out of her?"
Celestia, still looking hard at Starswirl, reached into her torc and pulled out the purse from the hidden pocket. "We need to know who she sold that to."
Cookie Dough shook her head. "Nothing doing. She's not saying anything to anypony except me until I say otherwise."
Pretty Smart banged her hoof on the table in frustration. "So YOU ask her!"
The Weaver crossed her eyes. "Duh! Hold on, we need some privacy." She pulled out a palette and paintbrush from her quantum mane, quickly painted a door in the wall next to her, opened it and dragged Measure in behind her. The door slammed with a squishy sound as the paint continued to drip to the floor.
Starswirl and Celestia looked at the wall, slowly turned to look at each other, their mouths hanging open, turned to Bread Pudding and found they couldn't say anything. The Chancellor leaned back in her chair, put her forehooves behind her head, kicked her rearhooves up on the table and said, "Welcome to my world!"
Author's Note
Apologies for the massive delay. I seem to recall an episode totally exploding any chance that this could have had to hold to canon and I was really trying so hard to keep it in bounds, I just lost heart for a while. But now, alternate universe. Why not?
WEAVER'S PREROGATIVE!
Wait, I started writing this in 2014?
God, I'm old.
It was cold this morning. Again. It seemed that every morning was cold, every year colder, but she was only twelve and in sixth grade, so maybe she had been born in a warmer period. Celestia shrugged as she stepped off the school bus, and as always Swirly tagged after her. She smiled and rump-bumped him with her blank flank, and she being very much larger, he was forced to sprawl his legs to avoid going over with the vast weight of books in his saddlebags. Her triumph was short lived, however, as one of the cobblestones at her feet peeked up a few inches to trip her, nearly sending her into a faceplant. "Oh, you're so dead!" Starswirl laughed as she charged at him in mock anger. She was an instant from colliding with him and tried to stop, realizing too late she underestimated her considerable momentum and was about to crash into her friend, possibly injuring him.
The geek and the freak, that's what the ponies called them. She was bigger now than every stallion who taught at the school. She was almost tall enough to qualify for the Royal Guard, if she was a stallion and six years older. Despite her size, she had delicate features, large eyes, wonderfully tapered limbs, a long graceful neck and a flowing mane and tail; the picture of femininity, scaled up to twice normal size. Doctors didn't know what to make of her; she seemed perfectly healthy. Luna was large for her age as well, but she was still no larger than at least a few of the other fillies and colts in her class. Now, all of Celestia's mass was clumsily trying to change direction as she bore down on Starswirl.
There was a flash, and then she was passing through the spot that Starswirl had been. She whirled around, astonished to see him behind her, grinning saucily. The rest of the class getting off the bus was looking at the two of them in stunned silence. "Did you just port? "
"It sure looks like it, 'Tia!" He was immensely proud of himself.
"How? Only six unicorns in the history of the world ever learned the Teleport spell and they were all archmages!"
"Well, it's really simple, it just involves combining levitation with the quantum tunneling effect. We can talk about it after study hall." She gaped at him.
"You idiot! The Hoofenberg uncertainty principle killed three of those archmages!" She started crying. "Never do that again! Don't you ever do that again! You're my best friend and you could have killed yourself! Don't you know what you mean to me?"
"No, I don't. Why don't you tell me more?" The hyper-confident nerdling grinned and walked slowing towards her, bells a-jangle.
Her hoof whipped around and smacked him in the face, sending him to the cobblestones, his hat sailing to land in a clanking heap. "This isn't some kind of bucking joke! I love you, you brilliant moron!" Her eyes were bright red and her face was wet with a sudden flood of tears and her whole massive body was shaking.
Starswirl shook his head and slowly came to his hooves. "I..." He worked his jaw, blinking tears of pain from his eyes. "I'm sorry 'Tia. I love you too, you know that. I've loved you from the minute I saw you." Her anger was now combined with guilt and she started sobbing in earnest. "I should have just told you, instead of showing off like that. I worked out a compensator for Hoofenberg. A layer of prognostication associated with the spell terminus allows the mage to choose between alternate universes prior to the collapse of the quantum state. I just need to be able to see the target location in order to apply the compensator."
Celestia's sobbing calmed as other ponies started to gather to listen to the conversation. "Wait," she sniffled. "You are telling me you've worked out a safe teleport spell? That's one of the three keystone spells the Academy has a permanent grant for, along with time travel and transmutation, the three T's. There are dozens of grown up unicorns making that their life's work, and you worked it out after finishing your homework?" Her anger and guilt were forgotten as she absorbed the implications of what her coltfriend, now mutually and publicly acknowledged, just told her.
"It's not like it takes a long time for me to do my homework, 'Tia." He winked at her over a reddening cheek.
"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to slap you like that, you just scared the hay out of me!" She reached down and stroked his mane. "Please forgive me."
"Nothing to forgive. I just hope you forgive me." His hoof reached up, tenderly touching hers as it laid upon his neck.
Ballast Blast, a grey with a white mane and a stone quarrying cutie mark spoke up from the crowd. "I'm not sure whether to be amazed or to throw up! Why don't you two get a classroom?" The rest of the group started laughing and hooting, some of them who really understood what was going on applauding, when Celestia bent down and kissed Starswirl lightly on the lips. "Wooo-hooo!" went the crowd as the bell rang.
Later in the day, while they were in biology class, Celestia and Starswirl were summoned to the principony's office. Madame Sternruler wore a stony expression on her charcoal face, as she said, "Starswirl, I was informed by no less than five ponies that you teleported in the yard today. Is this true?"
"Yes ma'am."
"The casting of any form of magic beyond simple levitation and translation on school grounds is an expellable offense, as you well know. And Celestia, I was told that you hit and then kissed Starswirl in the yard afterwards. Is this true?"
"Yes ma'am." Fear began to creep into Celestia's innards as she looked down on the stern school matron.
"Fighting and physical displays of affection are both expellable offenses." She let that sit on the two miscreants for a few moments. "However, this is a first offense and you are both excellent students. Letters will be sent home to your parents and this behavior will not be repeated on school grounds. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes ma'am!" the young lovers said in unison.
"Very well." Madame Sternruler cleared her throat with a whinny. "Given the exceptional display of spellsponyship given by Starswirl, I have contacted the Academy and a representative is on the way." There was a knock on the door and Madame Sternruler rolled her eyes. "Mages and their sense for dramatic timing." She concentrated and the door opened the door for a tall jet black unicorn stallion, with black mane and purple eyes.
"Hello, Madame Sternruler. Hello children." He paused, momentarily taken aback by Celestia's appearance, but continued. "I am Magister Obsidian Spark. Starswirl, is it true that you worked out teleportation from first principles?"
"Yes, sir."
"You know how dangerous it is, don't you? Archmagister Vermillion Heat, a mage with seventy years of experience, teleported himself into a wall thirty years ago and the resulting explosion blew up a wing of the Royal Academy that they only finished repairing when I became an apprentice, thirteen years ago. Seven other ponies were killed and dozens were injured and the repairs cost half a million bits. So, NO MORE TELEPORTING!" Starswirl jumped as the Voice blasted him. "DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"
"But sir..."
"BUT ME NO BUTS. NO MORE TELEPORTING." The cowed student nodded, backing up to the wall.
"Magister?" Celestia looked down on the stallion who was busy intimidating her coltfriend. The mage looked up at her.
"Celestia, do you think you have something to add to this conversation?"
"Yes sir. I was very upset with Starswirl as well, but he showed me his Hoofenberg compensation calculations at study hall and it looks like a very sound solution to me."
"Hoofenberg compensation? I'm so happy that a sixth grader is satisfied that her coltfriend has solved a problem that has eluded the finest minds at the Academy for centuries! Now, be silent young filly! Your mother may be the new Fellow at the Observatory but that doesn't pull any weight with me!" Obsidian Spark's purple eyes flashed angrily.
"I will not let you bully Starswirl like that. His solution is brilliant. See for yourself!"
"I SAID BE SILENT!" The mage's horn glowed purple and Celestia felt tendrils of power clasping her jaw shut. Now she was mad.
The room flashed pink and the mage found himself immobilized, overwhelmed by the sheer strength of the giant unicorn filly. His eyes shone with sudden apprehension as he realized he was not the unicorn with the most magical power in the room. He was not even in her league. He tried to counter the spell but it was like trying to stop a waterfall with his hooves. Starswirl's eyes went wide as he saw Celestia glowing with power, her mane and tail flowing in the invisible breeze of the spell's backwash, her eyes fixed with steely resolve on Obsidian Spark.
Starswirl's saddlebag popped open and his notebook sailed out, glowing pink, to open in front of the face of the struggling black unicorn. "READ!" Madame Sternruler, hiding under her desk, wondered at a filly who had the power to use the Voice, the voice that commanded weaker wills to obedience. Obsidian Spark, somewhat offended that she had the power to pin him as well as parallel cast on the book, and having no choice, looked at Starswirl's calculations. After a few minutes, he stopped resisting, utterly absorbed by the mathematics. Celestia gradually reduced her hold on him, eventually releasing him. He was now overpowered by the impossible brilliance of Starswirl's calculations.
"The equation balances." He looked at Starswirl and then 'Tia in wonder. "It balances. I can't believe it. And you, young filly, need to learn a little something about respect for your elders. Even when we are acting like flank hats."
"I'm sorry sir, I have a bit of a temper sometimes. I just can't stand to see ponies get pushed around, is all."
"Yes, yes, I'm sorry. I thought I was dealing with a smartflank colt who knew just enough to be dangerous. But you're rather more than that, aren't you, Starswirl? You too, Celestia. You could knock a castle wall flat if you wanted to. And you aren't even cutied yet. I wonder how much power you will have when you are fully grown... I don't know anypony who is not an archmage who could go hoof-to-hoof with you in the Arena, even now, though you have a lot to learn about subtlety." He shook his head. "Madame Sternruler, you can come out now."
The principony emerged from under her desk. "Celestia! That was a shocking display!" The white unicorn blushed.
"It's alright Madame." The jet unicorn gave Celestia a sidelong look. "I am unhurt, which just shows you how powerful and well-controlled your student is. She was able to handle me, ME, like I would handle a foal having a tantrum. I am by no means the weakest of the Academy mages. And she used the Voice, untrained. How are her grades?"
"Straight As. And no disciplinary problems before this."
Obsidian Spark nodded. "I thought I was only going to return to the Academy with one prodigy, but it appears I have two on my hooves. That is, if their parents consent."
"Oh thank goodness! You two will be somepony else's problem now!" Madame Sternruler winked as she saw the smiles spreading on their faces.
"Novice Celesta! Once again, I find myself reminding you that as a novice, you are to speak ONLY when spoken too! You are not to look an apprentice in the eye unless they are addressing you! You are not to make unsolicited suggestions to apprentices, and under no circumstances are you to cast a spell without proper authorization do I make myself clear!?" Apprentice Bluesteel Barb swaggered, his pale grey coat and dark blue mane flashed in the light streaming through the windows in the dormitory.
"Yes, Apprentice." I could squash you like a bug, magically and physically. Celestia had shocked the Academy board when they measured her magical potential. Only the Grand Archmage herself had greater raw power. Of course, she had a great deal to learn about application, but that was what she was at the Academy for. That and to stay close to her Starswirl. She was very disappointed to learn that she and he were put onto two different course tracks. There was talk of him being apprenticed immediately to the Grand Archmage directly, but self-taught as he was, he was still lacking some fundamentals of the college-level magical curriculum. Celestia, on the other hoof, went into a remedial program; she had tremendous power, but relatively little skill. We can see each other after hours, when we both have free time. That translated into about four hours a week. She couldn't help but grimace at the thought.
"Are you making faces at me, novice?" The irritating little stallion pushed his muzzle into her chest, looking up her nostrils. "Or are you just unnaturally ugly as well as unnaturally large?"
"You little jerk!"
"Novice Celestia, you did not answer my question, you spoke in a disrespectful tone and you failed to address me by my title! Do you think that you are above the rules because you are powerful? Because your mother works at the Royal Observatory? Do you think you are better than I am, Novice Celestia?"
"Yes, Apprentice. I do think I am better than you." The other novices who were watching this exchange aghast took a few steps back, expecting lightning bolts to spark between the two.
"Hmph. Perhaps, Novice, you would care to prove that? In the Arena?"
"But Apprentice, novices are forbidden to fight in the Arena."
"They are also forbidden to talk back to apprentices. Or are you all talk and no guts?" Why the little...
"I challenge you, Apprentice!" Her eyes blazed with anger.
"Excellent! I happen to know that the Arena is free right now. All of you! To the grounds, now!"
The apprentice and his assigned novices trotted to the walled off and warded designated dueling area. He tapped his horn on the door and the ward dropped, the defensive spells which lined the walls becoming active. "You novices head for the bleachers. Novice Celestia, to the center of the sands, if you would be so kind." Bluesteel Barb sneered.
"It will be my pleasure, Apprentice." Celestia raised her head and cantered gracefully to the middle of the Arena.
"A challenge has been issued and accepted! Let no more harm be done than needed! Let all scores here now be settled and friends reconciled!" Bluesteel intoned the ceremonial words and Celestia wondered as his demeanor entirely changed. For once, he spoke without sneering or belittling. The words sounded quite sincere, reverent even. "You are authorized to cast whatever spells you may have picked up here and there in sixth grade. Now, LAY ON!"
Celestia immediately raised a shield as did Bluesteel. His shield seemed weak to her, so she sent a bolt of power at the center. Instead of trying to stop the bolt, he turned and deflected it and it blasted into the wall behind him. Smart.
Bluesteel responded with a bolt of his own, which came in high. It was a weak thing and Celestia allowed it to strike her shield directly. He fired a second shot immediately after, this time low, and much stronger. A feint! The first bolt had caused her shield to raise slightly, leaving her left forehoof exposed. She slammed her shield back down but some of the force had squeezed in underneath, numbing her hoof. She smiled grimly. Two can play at that game!
She fired a bolt high and waited for him to deflect, then she did something she hoped was unexpected. She released the power of her shield straight ahead, and it crashed into his, staggering him. "A shield bash! Impressive, but I know that technique, and you are now undefended!" He threw a powerful bolt at her chest.
It struck her center-of-mass and bounced off ineffectually. His eyes grew wide. "A body shield? We have been reading ahead!" Body shields were useful for defending oneself from all directions but generally could not stop a powerful attack because they did not concentrate power against single axis of attack. Unless, of course, you had a great deal of power relative to your opponent, as Celestia did.
She charged him, shielded, invulnerable to anything he could hit her with with given his power level. Having three times his mass made her a serious physical threat and the arena rules did not distinguish between physical and magical attacks. Generally speaking, magical attacks were a lot more effective than physical ones, but momentum is momentum. He rolled into the sand to the right as she barreled past him. The novices started cheering for her and he gave them a dirty look.
"Stars and moon! This is getting ridiculous." Bluesteel rolled to his hooves as Celestia got turned around for another charge. Suddenly, her hooves went out from under her and she crashed to the ground, the wind knocked out of her. He sideswiped the dust under my hooves!
The sand kicked up in the air glowed blue and she found herself shackled by warm glass manacles. She could not get to her hooves. The apprentice stallion charged forward and placed his hoof on her neck, symbolically claiming victory. He was breathing hard, and he bent over to speak to her quietly as the manacles collapsed back into dust.
"When I am through training you, Celestia, you will be the terror of the Arena. But remember, power isn't everything. You fight intelligently and inventively. You learn quickly. But you have to treat me with respect, the same way as any other novice, understand?" She nodded. "Good. Now I'm going to go back to acting like a horseapple. Nothing personal. When we're both apprentices, we can be friends, but until then I am in charge and you will do as you are told. Understand?"
"Yes, Apprentice," she said in highly respectful tones. He stepped back as she stood up, and bowed her head in acknowledgement of his victory.
He leaned forward whispered, "And I'm sorry I called you ugly. You are anything but, but it's my job to teach you to control yourself, so I will push you, belittle you and injure your pride until there is nothing left but a novice ready to be taught, the same as these others. I went through the same hell when I was a novice." He winked at her and turned away to face the others.
"The challenge is won! The lesson has been taught! The score has been settled! Now get back with the rest of that sorry lot and pay attention!" Celestia trotted past, her head low, genuinely humbled and thankful that she was being taught by this goodhearted stallion and joined the rest of the novices who made room for her on the bleachers, giving her sympathetic smiles.
"Novice Sterling Asp! What did you observe during that confrontation? That is, if you were able to keep track of what was going on!" Steelblue Barb scowled at the shaking novice and Celestia allowed herself a very small, almost invisible smile.
Author's Note
Am I suddenly writing a Harry Trotter book?
I hate everything about Enchantment. I hate objective analysis. I hate material bindings. I hate encasement. I... well I guess I kind of like empowerment. But I absolutely despise closure. Novice Celestia pondered the small silver bell in front of her, thinking of how many ways she could blast, incinerate, melt, slag and vaporize the cursed thing. Another bell rang and she winced. Just me and Swiftfeather left now. Better get this over with.
Objective analysis: it's a silver bell with a silver clapper and a wooden handle. There are approximately six ounces of silver and three ounces of wood. Binding to wood, lift; binding to bell, shake. I could just do this with levitation so easily. Any unicorn can. This is a pointless exercise; the enchanted item is worthless. Encasement of the field within the boundaries of the object... existing potential magic was drained leaving it ready for empowerment. Empowerment... Celestia's horn glowed faintly as a tiny fraction of her magic flowed into the encased bindings. Now closure. The tricky part. Leave a space in the encasement for the thoughts of the actor to reach the binding. Small enough to keep the power in, large enough to allow thoughts to pass...
The bell shot across the room to strike the wall with a thunk and fall to the floor dented, a chunk of plaster landing atop it. The class giggled. Professor Objet D'Art silenced them with a glare and admonished them with his Prairisian accent. "Classe, may I rememberz you zat Celeste es fifteen years of aje, et you es aiteen ou nonteen, yes? The enchante es tres defacile pour, uh, for the fillies et colties, yes? So le patience, si'l vous plait." He walked over to her desk with another bell. "Ah 'ave more bells, so many bells, yes? You es tres belle, so you 'ave trois bells, eh?" He chucked, putting the third bell of the day on her desk.
"Celeste, you canno' allow les pense, eh, the thoughts, yes? Not the thoughts that interrupt, eh? Concentrate! He is the five steps, eh? But make him one thought. Clarify. Be precise! Relax, et un pense. Maintenant... um, now, yes. You can do him, yes? And I 'ave more bells, so many!"
She couldn't help but laugh, and that cleared her thoughts.
A silver bell with a silver clapper and a wooden handle, approximately six ounces of silver and three ounces of wood to which I will bind wood with lifting, bell with shaking, and encasing a field within the boundaries of the object to be charged with 20 watts, leaving a gap of two microns at the top of the handle...
Pop!
Celestia looked down at the undestroyed bell. The professor looked at it and it rose ringing in response to his thought. "Excellente! Ah told you you could do him, eh? Easier on the janitors too, eh cherie?" He smiled and walked over to help Swiftfeather, while Celestia regarded the bell with satisfaction.
I wonder what we'll get to enchant next?
______
Celestia almost skipped down the hallway to her next class when she heard the whispering. "Look at her. They won't be able to find a gown for graduation, they'll have to get a circus tent!" She whirled around. There was nopony there. That's strange. Am I hearing things? She turned back and heard giggling. She stopped and turned around again. "Auditory illusions? How childish and cowardly. Show yourself!" Silence answered her. "If you have a problem with me, you know where to find me." The empty air tittered. Hmm... I need to learn how to identify the source of a spell. It's one thing to have an enemy, it's another to have one and not know who it is.
Celestia turned right and trotted down the hall, wondering who she'd offended. A few minutes later the bathroom door opened and a small filly with a blue coat, a blue mane and a guilty look on her face walked out and headed down the hall in the other direction.
______
At dinner that Saturday, Starswirl sat with her family, preparing to enjoy a large salad. It was summer, and fresh food was available. Her mother's fellowship allowed for the occasional splurge now, and Celestia also received a stipend as part of her scholarship, most of which she sent home. Luna laughed at Starswirl's hat when he showed up. "Why do you wear that thing?"
"My father gave it to me, Luna."
"If my father gave me a hat like that, I'd never wear it!" That was an outright lie, Celestia thought. If her father gave her a hat like that, she'd sleep in it if she thought it would make him happy. "So what's the real reason?"
Starswirl smiled sadly. "I know he meant it as a joke. He gave it to me for my sixth birthday and I promised I'd wear it until I saw him again." He got quiet and looked at Press Force, who nodded gravely. "I never saw him again, Luna. He was killed in a carriage accident that day."
Tears sprung to her blue eyes. "Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry Starswirl!"
"It's OK, Luna. It was nine years ago."
"Cellie, why didn't you tell me?"
"Do you want me to tell you every sad thing I know, Luna?" Celestia looked down at her little sister fondly. "If you don't need to know something, and there's nothing you can do about it, why should I want to burden you and make your world sadder than it has to be?" Star Gazer looked up sharply at her, but then looked back down to preparing the meal.
"Well, I think it's very honorable of you, Starswirl, to keep your promise to your father. And it doesn't look silly now that I know why you wear it. I think it makes you look handsome." Luna wiped her eyes and smiled. Starswirl grinned his irrepressible grin and looked at Celestia.
"Well, even I know one doesn't wear a hat when eating." He took the hat and levitated it over to the coat rack, where it hung with a merry jingle.
Celestia looked at her coltfriend. "Are you trying to grow a beard or something?" She giggled.
"Yes, actually. Dad had one."
"Oh. Sorry. But Starswirl, you aren't your dad, you know." Celestia worried about his attachment to the memory of his father. It was one thing to remember somepony, but it was another to make your life a shrine to them.
"Dinner is ready!" sang out Star Gazer, ending the conversation.
______
After helping clear up the meal, Celestia and Starwirl went for a walk. A chill breeze blew up and Celestia shivered. "Swirly, it's cold."
"I know." He moved in beside her, warming her flank.
"It's July." They kept walking slowly from lamppost to lamppost.
"I know." Starswirl conjured a small flame to warm them on their walk.
"Swirly, I'm scared." She stopped and turned, looking down at the colt.
"Me too." He stepped in and kissed her and suddenly she was neither cold, nor scared.
For almost an hour, Celestia floated in paradise, all troubles forgotten as she was suspended in sensual, delicious warmth unlike anything she had ever experienced. How do you get to be a princess anyway? When I'm princess, I will dispense with a throne room and hold court tubside. Taxes will be paid in bath beads and my royal scepter will be the backscrubber. I think I can feel the water getting cold. Or less than perfectly warm. I suppose that means it's time to get back to the real world. She sat up in the tub. "Lady Lavender? Lady Sandalwood?"
"Yes, Lady Celestia?" the two ladies-in-waiting responded together. Lavender was a light shade of purple with a rose colored mane, while Sandalwood was tan with off-white hair.
"Oh, just Celestia, please. I'm no noble. Gosh, that's awkward, isn't it?" The highborn unicorns tittered sweetly in unison.
"Lady Celestia, you are in the Royal Bath and the Princess has instructed us to attend you." Lady Lavender smiled gently as she spoke. "I assure you, that makes you enough of a lady for us. Please just call us by our names, there's no need for titles here."
"Well, that's very kind of you, thank you both. Could you please hoof me the scrubber and soap?" They giggled again.
"No, silly. It's our job to bathe you. Are you done soaking then?" Lavender started to soak a scrubbing brush.
"Bathe me? That seems rather... intimate." She was already red from the warmth, otherwise she night have blushed.
"I assure you, we will be entirely professional. If that's what you want." Sandalwood winked at her as she leaned over to soap up a sponge. "We could get in with you, if you like. We can get better leverage that way." Celestia's eyes widened in alarm.
"Sandalwood! Stop that this instant, you are frightening her!" Lavender splashed water at Sandalwood who took a scoop of bubbles and deposited it on Lavender's nose in retaliation. All was quiet for a second and then all three mares started howling with laughter. As they got their chuckles out, Lavender started scrubbing Celestia's back and Sandalwood started doing her mane.
Sandalwood stopped laughing. "Moon and stars, is this blood?"
"Not mine, at least I don't think it is." Celestia stopped laughing too, and absently started playing with the bubbles.
"Anything you want to talk about, honey?" Lavender moved over to the other side of her back.
"Did you guys hear that big explosion this morning?" They both nodded. "That was me," Celestia said in a very small voice.
"You were in the battle? You're that mage that everypony is talking about? The one who k..." Sandalwood fell silent, continuing to rinse Celestia's mane.
"The one who saved us all from the mercenaries, is what Sandalwood was going to say," Lavender purred as she felt Celestia stiffen. "The one who was so brave at the Battle of Riverside? I think that's what they're calling it. And look at you, you're a filly. A bit on the large size, perhaps..." the lady-in-waiting started to massage Celestia's back and suddenly she stopped feeling guilty and sick and just concentrated on the incredibly delicious pleasure-pain sensations that Lavender was evoking with her magically enhanced massage in her tired, stiff back muscles. "...but so accomplished for one so young!"
Sandalwood finished with her mane and started cleaning the filth that remained in her hoof cuticle. "You know, Celestia, my friend in the guard told me that you saved all their lives out there. Except for the seven that..." She checked herself, silently cursing her tongue. "And that you are the most powerful, bravest and most quick-thinking unicorn he'd ever seen." She moved on expertly to the next hoof.
"I... I appreciate that, but really I was just making it up as I went along. If I had realized... I should have scanned the area before we went in. We could have fallen back, gotten reinforcements. Captain... I mean Major Thunderhooves would have been able to come up with a better plan. I could have softened them up from long range, or maybe even scared them away. Do you know how many ponies are dead because of me? How many buildings I destroyed? Homes and businesses gone forever?" She started crying. "I'm no hero, I don't deserve this!" Tears started flowing freely and she started to take great gulps of air.
Sandalwood slapped her on the cheek, hard, and Celestia was so shocked she stopped crying.
"Now you listen to me, filly! Self-pity is a luxury leaders cannot afford! If you hadn't been there, all of those guardsponies would be dead, including Honor Sharphoof, who is my lover and you aren't going to tell anypony because it would be a delicious scandal; the princess would be dead, we'd be raped and probably killed from what Honor said of the brigands' behavior, our families would be ruined and the Academy wouldn't be able to finish working on the sun problem, so the world would be doomed. So don't you DARE feel sorry for yourself! Could you have done better? Yes, and I'm sure you and the Major will spend many an hour discussing how to improve your tactics in the future, but Honor swears that you are the only reason we're all alive in a nice castle with our supposed virginities intact so you WILL accept whatever honors Platinum gives you with a smile and a wave. You wave like this, by the way." She demonstrated the noble wave, twisting her hoof with a big plastic smile on her face.
Lavender leaned in and spoke quietly. "Sandals is right. The unicorns out there are terrified of what is happening, and having a hero is just the thing they need. You can inspire them or you can hide from the limelight and blame yourself for not being perfect. It's your choice, and I'm glad it isn't my choice, but if it helps any, I think you're a real hero." Then she kissed Celestia lightly on her tender cheek and it took much of the sting away.
Celestia stopped crying and let the expert bathmares attend her, relaxing and enjoying herself considerably, only taking a facecloth to wash her own hindquarters. Then she stood so they could finish her tail and fetlocks. She looked down at the filthy water and Sandalwood tut-tutted. "You weren't kidding about needing a bath first! We need to do a rinse." Lavender used her magic to pull a plug out of the bottom and Celestia watched, fascinated by the dark spiraling water as it went down the drain. She had never seen a tub actually hooked up to plumbing before. Then she looked at the filth that remained in the tub.
"Great jumping manticores! Did all that come off of me?"
The ladies-in-waiting looked over the tub rim, made disgusted faces and nodded at her in unison. "Yeah." Then they looked at one another and said, "You're cleaning it!" Then they all laughed as Lavender rang a bellpull summoning more maids with water buckets.
After a few minutes, some younger mares, barely more than fillies, entered the chambers bearing two water buckets each. The oldest one spoke as they all curtsied and bowed. "Sorry, m'lady, they aren't warmed up proper yet."
"Sorry, Celestia, looks like a cold rinse." Sandalwood accepted the buckets from the maids and started levitating them down at the side of the tub.
"Not necessarily." A wooden bucket with a rope handle, approximately 1 kilogram of wood and 50 grams of rope, to which I will bind wood on the interior surface with heating one liter of water, encasing a field within the boundaries of the object to be charged with twenty watts for ten seconds through ambient absorption on the exterior surface, leaving a gap of two microns in the center of the round bottom piece.
Pop!
"What did you do?" asked Lavender, as the bathmares and one maid who stayed behind stared at the bucket.
"Miss..." Celestia looked at the maid.
"Just Pennywhistle, if it please your ladyship." She curtsied. Sandalwood stopped Celestia from correcting the maid; the filly would be confused enough by recent events.
"Pennywhistle, look at the bucket and think of it being full of hot water."
The maid looked at her skeptically, then shrugged and looked at the bucket. In a few moments, bubbles started to form on the bottom and sides and as they rose to the surface, steam emerged from the bucket. At the same time, ice crystals formed on the sides of the bucket and the floor as the heat was absorbed from the surrounding environment.
"Cor! I mean, sorry your ladyships, but goodness! That's hoofy, isn't it?" She kicked the bucket lightly to crack the ice surrounding it and levitated it to Sandalwood, who smiled and poured it onto Celestia's back.
"Oh! Too hot! Let me take that down about five degrees..."
After about five minutes the maid went downstairs, whistling happily and carrying six enchanted bathwater buckets, one of which was marked "REALLY HOT." The ladies-in-waiting were toweling Celestia dry and she felt cleaner and more relaxed than she could remember. Not just clean on the outside either. Something about being pampered by and having a conversation with these two charming mares cleansed her soul as well.
They walked Celestia to the vanity and the highborn unicorns gathered assorted currycombs, perfumes, powders and other mystical beauty gear with which she was unfamiliar. "Darling, when was the last time you had a proper hooficure?" Sandalwood looked at her hooves critically.
"Not since the battle." They giggled. "Actually I've never had a professional hooficure. My mother would do them when I was little but I've just taken care of it myself with a hoof file since then." Sandalwood pouted.
"One should never do one's own hooves. You can't see what they look like and your angle is all wrong. Allow me?" Sandalwood quickly filed off the burrs and rough bits, then buffed and put a lotion on them. "A touch of hardener." Then she went into the princess' drawers. "And some clear lacquer." She applied the hoof polish with practiced strokes and they shone brightly in the sunlight streaming in from the balcony.
As she was working, Lavender was currycombing Celestia's coat, and the sensation was delightful. Then she finished and started to comb her mane in long, loving strokes. Celestia decided she really liked these two.
"So Sandalwood..." The lady-in-waiting looked up in response to Celestia's query. "Honor? I'm sorry, but he seems so... doofy. He's brave as all hay, but..."
Sandalwood grinned and went back to applying polish. "It's not his brains I'm attracted to, you know. He's sweet, kind, funny and he has other... attributes." She blushed as Celestia and Lavender started laughing.
Lavender spoke between giggles. "Now you must tell all..."
"Celestia! Luna! It's time to wake up! Rise and shine! Breakfast in five minutes!" The unicorn sisters yawned and sat up next to each other in bed. Mother was making haycon and eggs and the smell was creeping up the stairs of the row house, reminding them of their empty stomachs, which warred against the call of the blankets on this cold morning. But no matter, it was a school day and no amount of pleading, begging or lying could possibly save them.
"Race you!" Luna bounded out of bed with the boundless energy of a preschooler. Celestia, however, had learned the art of treachery as any grammar school student who survived to second grade must. The door slammed, the knob glowing with a pink nimbus. "Hey, no fair!" Luna turned, outraged that her sister would stoop to such low tactics. Again. As usual.
Celestia rolled out of the bed, shook her pink mane and combed it at the vanity with five economical strokes. She then sent the brush flying at her kid sister, who scowled but did not flinch, knowing full well that her big sister would never actually strike her. The brush stopped short of her head and she grudgingly bent her neck to allow her mane to be untangled. As usual, it took more than five strokes. More like twenty.
The older, pure white unicorn sighed, despairing of her little sister, whose dark blue coat and mane were so lovely, distinctive and utterly unkempt without the strictest of supervision. Many unicorns had white coats, but nopony had the midnight blue of Luna. "You know what mother said, Luna. We must always care for our appearance. We may not have the fine jewelry, collars and shoes like some of the other fillies at school, but that's not an excuse to be ragamuffins. Besides, don't you want to look nice for Father?"
Luna brightened at the mention of her father. "Oh yes, please! Do you think I should wear a ribbon?"
"Yes, what a lovely idea! How about one of these white ones?" Luna nickered happily as Celestia made a bow to hold back her luxurious mane from her face. All it took to change her from a hellion to a princess was to suggest that Father might like to see her looking her best. At least for ten minutes.
"Now quickly, downstairs!" Celestia opened the door and Luna bounced out to the hallway and down the staircase to the living room, galloped past the couch and charged into the kitchen, followed by her serene older sister.
"Hello. my little one!" Press Force, a large, jet black unicorn with a grey mane and tail reached over to his youngest with his good foreleg to pat her on the mane. "Don't you look pretty this morning?" Luna looked so pleased with herself that it was a wonder she didn't explode with self-satisfaction.
Celestia entered the kitchen at a more sedate pace and smiled at her father. "Good morning, sir." She could not help glancing at his crippled right foreleg, the one that had been crushed at the factory when one of the other lifters allowed their attention to lapse and a steam piston weighing several hundred pounds came crashing down, nearly killing him. Luna was too young to remember that day, but Celestia would never forget it, her powerful dada lying in a bed while physicians in lab coats argued about amputation.
"Don't you sir me, young filly! Come here and give your old sire a kiss!" Celestia obeyed happily, pecked him on the cheek and sat down at the table across from Luna.
"Hot stuff coming through!" Star Gazer was cream colored with a lavender mane and tail and was referred to, by Press Force at any rate, as a great beauty. She was certainly the most attractive mare at the Royal Observatory where she worked, as she was the only mare, where the old stallions spent their time cataloging stars and searching for asteroids. It had been her voice at the bedside that had made the deciding vote. Celestia remembered it clearly. "I know it is more dangerous, but my husband would want you to try to save his foreleg. He wouldn't want to live as less than a full stallion."
How she hated her mother that day, but upon reflection, it worked out, and her father was able to work, though not as a force lifter anymore. He now worked at a desk, tracking the receipt of rolled steel and the production of parts for steam engines at Pipe & Fitting, LP. It didn't pay as well, but he wasn't a total cripple on the dole and Celestia knew he would have wasted away like that. She forgave her mother when she was old enough to understand her decision, but it had strained their relationship to a degree. "May I help you, mother?"
"No, thank you 'Tia. I've got it," her mother sang. The serving plates of haycon, eggs and crispy home fried potatoes, as well as the plates for their meals, the serving spoons, silverware and drinks, coffee for the adults, milk for the children, spiraled in and onto the table as a lavender glow suffused the room. The meal was set in an instant with nary a drop spilled nor a potato overboard. Star Gazer could not lift nearly as much as Press Force, or at least as much as he had been able to lift before the accident, but she could manipulate multiple small objects simultaneously, which made her very useful to the Senior Astronomer at the Royal Observatory of Unicornia. Her fine control allowed her to adjust instrumentation nearly twice as quickly as her co-workers. Of course, with two fillies, she wasn't able to work the late hours that some of her peers did, and that left her working in the solar studies experimental section. It was somewhat important, Celestia thought, but not where the real night time action was.
The meal was, of course, delicious. Celestia had thought before that her mother could make a good living as a cook, a singer, a juggler, an actress, practically anything. She was gifted and graceful and intelligent, and all she wanted to do was stay cooped up with some old stallions in an observatory, taking photographs of the sun, tracking storms and recording sunspot activity. As if that was a matter of life and death.
"Momma," said Luna around a mouthful of eggs. Her mother hushed her and told her to swallow first. Luna complied and continued, "There is a new colt at preschool. He's a pegasus. I didn't know pegasuses could go to school with unicorns. He's funny looking without a horn and with those weird wings and he can't even fly and I think he has cooties like the unicorn colts do."
Star Gazer frowned at her youngest. "Luna! First off, the plural is pegasi , and there's nothing wrong with being born a pegasus. That must be Cloud Striker's son, Cirrus. She started working at the Observatory last week and we were lucky to get her. She ensures that we have clear skies for our observations and that is very important. And he does not have cooties, and neither do the other colts. I hope you are being nice to him!" Luna shrugged and continued eating.
Press Force's eyebrows went up. "They hired a weather warden? This late in the year? They must really be stretching the budget for that!"
"We had to make some cuts, but we needed to be able to observe the storm activity through the entire two week cycle and that was the only way. And she's nice enough. A little brash and pushy, you know how wardens can be. But she gets the job done, that is for sure!"
"Well, if the Academy and the Council think it's worth it... I know that pegasi eat like nopony else, with their metabolisms! And the earth ponies already pay wardens very well to keep the rains regular. With two bad winters in a row, I'm sure that the demand for sunshine in the day and rain at night is higher than ever!"
Star Gazer smiled and swallowed her mouthful of haycon. "That's why the Academy has been looking at the solar program so closely these days. We want to determine if the sunspot cycles are predictors of weather patterns. That will help us forecast the weather for the earth ponies, and our forecasting is the primary revenue generator for the Observatory. Pegasi can keep it dry or make it wet locally for a short time, but they can't control temperatures or large scale weather patterns." Forcused Force nodded.
Celestia listened closely, barely tasting her food as her parents spoke. So, the behavior of the sun determines the weather? That makes sense. And if you can tell what the weather is going to be like, you can tell the farmers when to plant so that frost won't kill their crops! I guess my mom's work really is pretty important!
The family finished up and Celestia and Luna went to wash the dishes. Well, Celestia washed while Luna played with the water, and made bubbles, but she was trying. Then it was time for everypony to head off to work and school. Celestia kissed her family goodbye and went off to the schoolbus stop, while Luna went with her mom to be dropped off at Foal Follies and her dad put his brace on and limped to the bus going to the factory.
The bus driver clip-clopped up, pulling a long yellow carriage filled with noisy colts and fillies. There was only one seat left. Ugh. Not that Starswirl guy! What a weirdo! Celestia reluctantly planted herself next to the class nerd and sighed. He didn't look up from the book he was reading. Rude. Typical. "The Mechanics of Solar Convection" is more interesting than I am. Wait a minute.... "Starswirl?"
Starswirl, a short, thin colt with thick glasses and a rather unusual hat with bells on it, looked up with a start from his book, jingling. "Ce-Ce-Celestia? You know my name?"
"Of course I know your name, you hoofhead! Why wouldn't I know your name?"
"Uh, because you've never spoken to me before and you're the prettiest filly in the class and uh, oh gosh..." He turned bright red under his gray coat.
"Did you just say I'm the prettiest filly in class? Really? Um... thanks! That was sweet!" She blushed a bit too. "Nopony except my parents ever said I was pretty before. I'm just another white unicorn, nothing special."
Starswirl shook his head, his denial jangling. "No, no that isn't true. You're v-very special, Celestia. You're not only the prettiest filly, I've n-never seen you bullying anypony or cheating or talking out of turn to the teachers. You helped Summer Rain up when she tripped in the cafeteria last week. You took the blame for breaking the tank in Mrs. Hoofworthy's class when I know it wasn't you, it was Curry Comb who wanted to see the iguana and you were afraid he'd get suspended."
"You were watching me?" Celestia felt a little creeped out.
"Well, I'm an observer. I can't help it. And you are the prettiest filly in class." He ventured a shy smile and she giggled. "Celestia, you're good. I don't mean good at something, though you are good at plenty of things, but you are good in your heart. You're a good pony. And I like you."
"You LIKE me?" Celestia's jaw almost hit the floor.
"Yes." He looked her right in her eyes and she looked and saw that his eyes were a warm amber behind the thick lenses. Warm, kind, honest... wait, what the hay is going on here?
She waved her hoof in front of her face to cool herself down. "N-now Starswirl, I mean, um... thank you... that's very sweet. You're a very nice colt." She swallowed. "Um... I like... you...r... hat?"
He smiled and jingled. "Thanks! My dad gave it to me!"
"But what I really wanted to ask you about was your book. Isn't that a college textbook?"
"Well, yeah... I want to study solar mechanics and I thought I already finished all the prerequisite work, but the math in this is a little beyond me. Maybe you could help?"
"How in Unicornia could I help?"
"Um... really?" He closed the book and showed her the cover. The Mechanics of Solar Convection by Star Gazer.
"My mom wrote a book!? I didn't know! I thought all she did was take pictures and try to predict the weather!"
"Your mom is one of the leading astrophysicists in the Kingdom and she knows more about solar physics than almost anypony. Say, could I meet her some time?"
"Starswirl, we've known each other five minutes and you want to meet my parents?"
"Well, you are the prettiest filly in class!"
"And you're a charmer. When did this happen? Did you ever even speak to a filly before?" Celestia was practically breathless from his bravado and courage.
"Well, I figure I may never get this chance again, so I better put my best hoof forward. Besides, you're such a good pony, if I make any mistakes you'll forgive me." He smiled again, looking her directly in the eyes, furiously blushing.
"I'm not. Not good. Not special. Stop looking at me like that. I'm not the pony you think I am. I didn't even know my mother wrote the book you were reading. What kind of daughter am I?" Celestia wiped tears away as the bus came to a stop and she got up.
She then realized the entire class was looking at her. Her and Starswirl. And you could hear a pin drop. Then one of the fillies in the back started to giggle. The giggling spread and became laughter. Somepony started singing "Swirly and 'Tia, sittin' in a tree..."
She fled the bus crying.
