[Story/Chapter Tester]

by The Grey Pegasus

[5A] Notes

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Astral Audacious; An Alicorn's Account

[X]-General Story Notes

Outline:

We shall respond to Obs's challenge. Because fuck him for posting Fortresses too quickly. We shall take the following two prompts: Alicorn OC and 7th Element of Harmony. And with it, we will totally not win, but we'll try anyways because supposedly anything is possible.

okay /rant

Astral Audacious is an alicorn. Physically, at least. He was born as an accidental alicorn. Originally, however, he was going to be a simple unicorn. Then he somehow got wings. Perhaps his mother got struck by a spell or something while he was still in the womb.

The story is inspired by Forrest Gump (irony, I never finished that project).

His story will begin with him walking into Crystal's place to get a portrait painted of him. From there, she will begin asking him about his life as she draws and paints parts of his body.

Stardust will be in the story in a painting. Could possibly segue into Astral's soldier segment.

Anyways, to keep the outline short, the first part will be told in flashback form until it reaches the current point. Then he mentions the seventh Element and how for some reason, it's actually dangerous. And the last part will focus on later events.

Yup. That's how we're going to give the contest a shot.

... Astral Audacity?

Current prompts taken: Alicorn OC (WITH RED AND BLACK), 7th Element, Romancing a main character (sort of?)

Rough word count goal: 10-15k (... that's actually the max allowed)

Current estimated word count total: 3k

Estimated final word count total: 11k (Chapter 1)

Current point: Horn

Plot points:

Walk into shop/home

Converse with Crystal

Introductions

Go downstairs to start painting

Crystal - basic alicorn form

Astral - story about his birth and early life

Crystal - horn

Astral - story about youth to maturity

Tea break

Astral notices Stardust's portrait ("He's smiling.")

Segues into his military story

Crystal - wings

Astral - death of his pegasus friend and why he can fly

Stardust comes in (?)

More story

7th Element


Maybe mentioning trying to become royalty (because everyone suggests it?)

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List of other characters

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-Pinnacle Point

-Radiant Ray Redshift

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Random Plot Points, Chapter 1

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"Huh. There's a grin I've hardly seen on a military portrait before," Astral commented, looking at a painting of a grey pegasus. Said pegasus wore a beret, a uniform with medals, and a smile that almost broke the regality/formality of the work.

Crystal chuckled in return. "Oh, that's Stardust. He can't help it if he's forced to look at me for the length of time it takes to paint a portrait."

"Hm?"

"He's my coltfriend. Have you ever had a marefriend, Astral?"

"Yeah. Yeah..."

(Segues into life event)


"And those wings. Beautiful wings you have. I've rarely seen wings with a variance of color from coat color. Red streaked feathers. Where have they been? Where have they flown?"

Astral's face grew solemn. "My wings weren't always like this. I already told you that before. But there's a lot to them. I wasn't born with any red; not even in my mane. The red in the feathers and my mane? Those were my best friend's..."

(Segues into life event)

--

"You know, sometimes I wondered why it didn't also spread into coat color."

Crystal scoffed. "How did you imagine it, red stripes? Maybe if you were part zebra. But if you want my honest opinion? Be glad it didn't. That would be a visual nightmare. An eyesore." She peeked out from behind the easel. "But the red highlighting your mane and feathers? It's nice, a solemn and noble reminder of a friend."

-

"Don't get me wrong- I admire the red highlights in your mane and feathers- a solemn and noble reminder of a friend- but there does exist such thing as 'an eyesore'. You? You're fine as is. No need for any excessiveness."


Went to Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, met Twilight, and so on? (and Twilight dies of- uh- disease?)

--

GUUUUUMP

--

DEFINITELY TAKING THAT PART OF THE PROMPT UP

... SOMEWHAT

--

Spoiler: Twilight gets pregnant and dies of AIDs later.


Military career- goes to guard around the Northeast Passage. Somehow finds the 7th Element, Justice.

God... that's lame.

I shall see if there's a better alternative. Or ask the Writer's Group.

--

Quick list of Elements:

Magic/Friendship

Honesty

Loyalty

Generosity

Laughter

Kindness

--

Other ideas!

Patience

Tolerance

Persistence


Will get teased about Twilight only being around Astral to study him academically.


"Hey, if you like the sky so much, why don't you just fly up there? Oh, right, you can't!"


"Just ignore them, Astral," Twilight grumbled.

"I know, I know."

"She's just playin' you, Audacious! Just watch! She might be able to figure out how fix those wings of yours, but when she gets famous for it, she'll leave you for some better stallion!"

Twilight turned, furious. "I would not!"

"Twilight, sit down, they're not worth your time."

"After all, what else could the Princess's student hope to do to get attention? What're you gonna do? Call in Princess Celestia to stand up for you?"

"Buckin' bookworm!"


(Aftermath, present)

"You... really did. You actually impaled him with your horn."

"I nearly killed him, too. And even then, Twilight and I couldn't just leave someone to die. At least, I couldn't. Not when it was my horn that did the damage."

--

"If Twilight wasn't the Princess's student, I would've been expelled right there. Maybe even a court trial."


(Aftermath, flashback, Twilight)

"I... I'm sorry, Astral. I don't think we should see each other anymore. It... just causes more problems. And it's a really important time in my life. I... I should focus on my studies more. Focus more on learning the curriculum. There'll be time in the future for theories and experiments. But right now, I should focus on the things that will take me on that path."


(Aftermath, flashback, Celestia)

"Astral Audacious, you are fortunate to be with Twilight Sparkle, my personal student, whom I trust very much. Were it not for her, your sentence may be much heavier. As it is, considering what Twilight has told me, you have done little wrong. Yet it is still a gravely serious subject. I advise you to see Twilight no more after this night.

"I will commend the way you handled yourself, however. I might recommend you to the Royal Guard after you graduate. The Royal Guard needs good ponies, Astral Audacious. Perhaps, as you defended yourself and Twilight, you could be counted on to defend Equestria."


(Northeast, getting attacked)

The griffons came over the border and attacked us.

Really, it's why we were there in the first place. To ward off griffon aggression.


(Getting his wings)

"Quick... take my magic."

"What?!"

"I... I don't think I'm going to be needing it much longer."

"No! No, you'll be fine!"

"It's ge- getting really bad..."

"Bu-besides, how am I even supposed to do it?"

"You're smart, Audie, figure it out... I know you can..."

"Magic cancellation atmosphere! Something might go wrong!"

"I don't have anything to lose. And besides... we're right next to each other, plus it's the transfer of magic, right? You're not creating it. So it's different, right?"

"I-I don't know!"

"Audie... Audie... are the... are the griffons going to take this place?"

I shook my head. "No, they'll never take this... We're still... still in Equestria."

"Then... at least I know I'm still home."

He was audibly giving his final breaths, and I decided it would be best to honor his final request. I conjured up a spell, feeling it through, and to my surprise, it worked.

I felt new life in myself. I felt something new in my wings. Power.


(Short time later)

I looked down the battlefield and saw a cannon prepping to fire. From my spot, it looked like it was pointed right at us. "Move! We got to move!"

I just reacted. All that was going through my head was that we might be right in its line of fire. I dragged them along in my magic and just lunged forward.

Where we were standing was immediately obliterated by an explosion. We were breathing heavily.

"What the... what the hay?!"

I looked around- we were far enough from it that we were all alive. And it only took a split second.

Everyone looked at me.

"Astral... can you fly?"

I hesitated to respond. "I-I-I think I can. Now."

"Wha-... how?!"


'Cloud storage business' - using airships?

Gets into studying astronomy?

--

(Between Radiant and Astral)

"You know, after I finish my time with the Royal Guard, I'd like to get into the cloud business."

"What?"

"Oh yeah. I've talked to some ponies in Cloudsdale. Cloud delivery. Cloud storage. Good business."

"Huh."

"What about you?"

"I was thinking of going into astronomy, like my dad. You know, just be up high, look up at the stars."

"Is part of it because you can't use your wings?"

"What?"

"Oh, don't take what I'm saying the wrong way. I'm just wondering if you want to be an astronomer so you could be 'in' the sky because you can't fly. I heard that the observatories near Canterlot are so high up on the mountain peak that they're above the cloud layer. Almost like you're flying."

I considered what he said. "Maybe."

"Well, once we get back, you're free to tag along with me when I get into the business. Just floating along on an airship, day or night. Would be handy having a pegasus with you to clear the clouds. Airships have a lot of surface area up top. Set up your stuff there. Lots of stuff you could do on an airship flight."


(Optional segment)

"Your father- astronomer or astrologer?"

"Well he initially studied astrology, but he became an astronomer- he's an open-thinking, scientific kind of guy. Runs in the family."

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Random Plot Points, Chapter 2

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(Twilight, on reminder of their relationship)

"We were just... stupid teenagers back then, Astral."

"And you used to tell me how you knew about love because Cadance always took care of you. I knew you, Twilight. You didn't make any mistakes."

--

"Well, now we can be stupid adults," Astral said with a slight grin. "Chasing an old romance that didn't deserve to die out."

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