Pinkie Pie vs Conker

I DO NOT OWN Conker the squirrel all rights go to Rare/Microsoft
I DO NOT OWN Friendship is Magic all rights go to Hasbro

The fourth wall

The viewing point from which we viewers witnesses the adventures of our favourite characters

but sometimes characters "Know"

Know they are just a character

whether it be

Movies

comics

television

Cartoons

Videos Games

Pinkie Pie, Ponyvilles Premier party pony

"Really Author, alliteration"

Sigh "Conker the Squirrel, Rares ultimate one shot franchise"

"Your damn right"

"Are we going to do this until the fight"

"Probably"

"Just go Conker, go to Sugar Cube corner that's where the fight is going to be" click, clock "PUT THE SHOT GUN DOWN!"

"CAN I STAY!?"

"GO TO HELL DOUCHEBAG!"

"PUSHING YOUR LUCK AUTHOR!"

"GET IN THE CORNER AND YOU CAN STAY!"

"I PREFER WHERE I'M SITTING"

"Ok fine just let me work"

Conker the Squirrel

Conker the squirrel is a greedy, psychotic, alcoholic, sociopath. Although that's the negative side to his personality. Which is predominant personality. However he can be kind, heroic, and brave. He usually greets friendly individuals kindly. Conker started his history Kart racing with his buddy Diddy Kong. After that he goes onto his Bad Fur Day debut. Where we learn that Conker is a drunk. He accidentally stumbles the wrong way home, and ends up in an unnamed kingdom. Which he saves and takes over as ruler.

Now Conker, like many platforming hero's is highly athletic. Doing a twisting high jumps, and can hover slightly. By twisting his tail like a helicopter, yeah suck it Tails, he only needs one tail to fly. That being said he unlike his platforming counterpart Mario, he isn't really all that athletic. He only really has two jump variants. The standard jump, along with his high jump.

But for those weaknesses, he more then makes up for his lack of physical attributes. With his weapons, from from Frying Pan, Nail Covered Baseball Bat. And that's just his melee weapons. He also comes into battle decked out with guns. Yes I said GUNS. He comes into to battle, dual wielding MP5K sub machine guns. A stereotypical shot gun, and a bazooka. But that's not all, he also carries a pineapple grenade, chainsaw, and throwing knives.

As for weaknesses, first off he has an over reliance on guns. He's also slow, and fairly unathletic. Combine that with the fact that he's been in a single game in ten years. his alcohol abuse, and smoking. And the fact that he's fairly straight forward run and gun type.

"I Ain't letting a pony ruin my comeback though, so readers just forget all those weaknesses"

Pinkie Pie

Pinkamena Diane Pie, but for everyone who knows her, she's Pinkie Pie. She's the element of laughter, and friend to everybody. Pinkies family was a group of rock farmers. And up until discovering her passion, Pinkie Pie was miserable. But after rainbow coloured explosion awakened something deep within Pinkie Pie, joy. And since that day Pinkie has done nothing but spread joy, whether it be Pony, Mule, Bison. From party pony, to cross culture negotiator, Pinkie Pie will do anything to make a person smile.

Pinkie may look like an average everyday earth pony. But this pony is the ultimate, dont judge a book by its cover. Shes a fourthwall breaker for one, next up pretty much anything the plot needs her to be she'll be. She's insanely fast, able to keep up with Rainbow Dash, while it's true Rainbow wasn't going Rainboom speed. That puts Pinkie anywhere in between Mach one to Mach five. Her body is, for lack of a better term elastic. Able to coil, stretch, bounce, balloon, and she seems to have limitless energy. Beyond that she can also slow down her falling, hover, fly with only three balloons. Probally her most well known abilities are, her ability "Teleport" I use the term teleport loosly, since its not so much her teleporting as much as her just...showing up when ponies need her. She can also enter the black screen at the end of episodes. We have the famous Party Cannon. Pinkie pulls the party cannon from hammer space, then shoots literally a party. And while that may not seem very threatening, Pinkie had no problem weaponizing it. And she used to it to kick plenty of changeling ass. Lastly probally we have the the Pinkie Sense. It's a mysterious early alarm system utilized via a complex series of twitches. Now unlike the ability it references, the Spider Sense. The Pinkie Sense can be fooled, because something needs to happen to her once, for her to fully grasp what the Pinkie Sense is telling.

Pinkie Pie, if she has one weakness. It's her personality. She exetremely childish. And she doesn't understand when social norms. She finally resorts to fighting as a last ditch effort, prefering to make people smile over harming them.

If that's it, then Ponyvilles premier party pony, might just have a part of one

"Right..."

"You Sugar Cube Corner"

"Right I'm off to kick ass and chew bubble gum, you better get this right author"

And with that...The Combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all

A Puffy pink mane and tail, bounced around the kitchen of Sugar Cube Corner. She ate a rainbow sprinkled cupcake, as she trotted towards the front of the shop. Suddenly the front door was blasted down. A large cloud of smoke billowed into the sweets shop, Pinkie giggled loudly. "You know it was open right?"

"Shick, shock" A Figured walked out of the cloud. It was small, had a large bushy tail. He came out wearing thick black glasses, blue jacket with yellow accents. He wore blue shoes with yellow tips, and white soles. He had a grey shot gun it his side. "I Have come to chew bubble gum, and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum"

"Here have some of mine" Pinkie dug into her mane, and pulled out a cube of pink gum.

Conker aimed his gun straight at "It's a movie reference"

"Oh...So do you want gum?"

FIGHT

"BANG!" A Hole was punched in the door behind were Pinkies head had be milliseconds prior. The Pink ponies neck was stretched to the right two extra feet. Conker quick led dropped his aim to her body "Bang" But Pinkies body was already rocketing towards her head, avoiding the powerful shotgun blast. "Bang" Pinkie bounced quickly, as the squirrel fired his Shotgun. Pinkie dove behind the sweets counter.

"Eat this my little pony!" Conker pulled a large green grenade. He tossed the grenade, and jumped behind a table.

"BANG" Sugar Corner shook from the force of the explosion. "Ahhhh right, awesome author kee..."

"BOOM" A Flurry of streams ending with a cake smashed into Conker sending him flying into the wall, his shot gun flew out of the window behind Conker.

"Right... quotation marks Teleporting Quotation marks" Conker groaned.

"Oh oh oh oh oh this is fun!" Pinkie was vibrated and bounced "Another doozy!" Conker whipped out two smaller guns. Pinkie rocketed to right, bullets spraying into the wall behind her as she moved.

"Author slow her down" Conker growled as he sprayed in the ponies general direction. Pinkie disappeared behind counter.

"Over here silly!" Whipped around, and was instantly met with a pink head smashing into his his own. His guns flew to the side, clattering to the ground. Conker quickly pulled his spiked bat out, and swung wildly. But the pony had already gotten out of range.

"Bang!" Conker flew back, he quickly flipped a table as Pinkie fired a second shot at him. The Table and Conker slid slightly. "Geez that ponies annoying" Conker quickly pulled out his Bazooka. "Eat this!" He bellowed.

"BOOM!" The rocket flew straight towards the pony, as it grew closer the pony ripped open a large black hole. Which the rocket entered into harmlessly.

"Well shit" Conker swore. "Looks like I have to pull out Betsy" He dug into his sweater, and pulled a chainsaw twice as tall as himself With vicious teeth. He charged the pony, Pinkie just bounced in place. At five feet Pinkies front hooves shot forward. She quickly ripped a hole in the air.

"Dammit" Conker was racing straight at his rocket. He tossed the chainsaw, and slid to a stop. "BOOOOM!" The the chainsaw was destroyed, and and Conker was tossed back from the force of the explosion.

"I Call bullshit on Pinkie redirecting my weapon author. Didn't you just do that with Rarity and Steve?" Conker was head was hanging in a black hole "Ahh crap, I want a second fight" the Black hole closed, instantly decapitating Conker"

Pinkie bounced out a black hole. She cast a glance around the destroyed building "The Cakes won't be happy"

WINNER

Honestly Pinkie Pie is the one character in MLP I can't find a fair fight for. Its ridiculous how hard it is find a balanced fight for this party pony. Either she wins, or gets floored. I can't find someone just as powerful as her.

Conker had more then enough killing power to end Pinkie Pie at any moment. That being said, he had very little to contend with her physically. Her Natural bouncing run, and jog made her much harder target to connect with. Combine that with her super speed, and her ability to "Teleport". So Pinkie was able to counter Conkers main strength. Conker could do very little to counter Pinkie Pie, other then keeping a cool head under the insanity Pinkie brought. He couldn't keep up with her speed, her ability to enter the black space gave her the element of surprise at every opportunity. Finally while Pinkie didn't have much killing power, really when she has the ability to completely control the fight. All she needs is the Party Cannon to end the fight.

NEXT TIME

A Yellow twin tailed boy walked forward "So I here one of your friends beat Metal Sonic"

A Shorter chubby figure laughed "That's Rainbow Dash for you"