Rider, King of Conquerers

by themultiversewatcher

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Anthro, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Zecora, Human, Princess Luna, Spike, Comedy
Length: 4613

I woke up in Equestria as Iskander (Alexander the Great), with no real reason to be there. Time for manly shenanigans!

After a freak accident, I wound up stuck in Equestria as Iskander. I need to get home, but I don't know how. I guess I'll just wing it.

Written just for kicks, which is the best reason. Keeps my mojo flowing, if you know what I mean.

Published 2014-06-25 00:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-25 00:10:04 UTC

Well, this was unexpected...

What the hell happened to me, I thought, Last I knew, I was at that convention. Getting up, I looked around myself, expecting to see people either standing there, watching me, or running to call 911 because a man got up from an obviously fatal accident. Instead, I was surrounded by trees and plants I'd never seen before. Looking down at myself, I was surprised to see I had an extremely muscular body. I sat back down to collect my thoughts.

Previous Day

"Hey, Zack," called my friend Karl, "Come on! Hurry, or we're gonna be late!"

It was the day of ComicCon, and I was to be Rider from Fate/Zero, while Karl was to be Waver Velvet, his master. I have been told that I look a lot like Iskander, what with my red hair and beard. I don't really have his musculature, but thankfully, the costume comes with fake muscles. The only thing I didn't have is the spatha. I was hoping to find it at the 'Con. After I finished getting ready, I ran downstairs. There, standing at the door, looking serious, was Karl, who had a completely new look. I couldn't help but smile at him, and we left.

"Thank God you're finally done," Karl whined, "I've been waiting forever!"

"Oh calm down, Karl...I mean Master," I said, giving him a huge Rider slap on the back, "We look grand!" I gave a hearty laugh, acting in perfect character. I'd been practicing.

We boarded the bus going to the convention center. We got a lot of awkward stares from the other people on the bus. Eventually, we arrived at the center. Upon entering, we were required to do a bag check to make sure we weren't carrying bombs into the building. Once that was out of the way, we were free to explore.

After a while, I came across what I was looking for: an exact replica of Rider's blade. So, I bought it. It was surprisingly well detailed, as though someone had forged it in a furnace.

Suddenly, a loud creaking was heard. It reverberated throughout the building. Looking up, I saw one of the lights that they have at the top of the building falling straight towards my head.

"Oh shi-" was all I could manage, as the light slammed into my head, knocking me out.

So, that's what happened, and now I'm stuck...wherever I am now. Feeling ready to move, I got up, grunting in the process. I paused. My voice doesn't sound like that. I tried to speak again.

"Well, this is certainly interesting," I said, surprised at the way my voice sounded. The deep, gravelly, manly feel of it just seemed...right, as though it was always meant to be. Suddenly, I got the feeling of being watched. Looking around, I could see glowing green eyes surrounding me. As soon as I noticed them, three huge timber wolves leaped out of the trees. They circled me slowly, as if wary of my next move. And then...they stood there. They didn't even try to strike. The largest wolf, the alpha of the group, walked up to me, and began wagging its wooden tail. Slightly stunned, I reached out my hand, and began petting the thing. It seemed so happy to meet me, and I smiled. I knew that I was going to like the new life I was given.

"Timberwolves don't just listen to anyone," came a voice behind me, "I must say, well done." I turned around. Behind me was a creature I'd never seen. I figured it was a zebra...probably. She was black and grey, with a black and white mane and tail. She had rings and bangles all over. She was wearing a brown skirt and shirt with a green triangular piece of cloth that hung off the right arm. It all gave her quite an exotic air. "Zecora is my name," she continued, "I would like the same."

"My name is Iskander," I said, deciding to go along with my apparent form, "It's nice to meet you, although the rhyming might be a little grating. I don't want to seem rude, but can you not do that around me?"

"I don't mind," said Zecora, "You certainly are blunt, you know. Come with me, this is not the optimal place to talk." With that, we turned around and headed to where I assumed she lived.

Eventually, we came to a small hut carved into a tree. The door didn't seem large enough for me to fit. However, I decided to give it a try. Miraculously, I managed to make it inside, even though I had to bend over in order to not hit the ceiling. Zecora dragged out a couple of chairs and placed them around a small table. She invited me to sit, and I obliged. Its not often you get invited into the domicile of an anthropomorphic talking zebra, but whatever.

"First things first," Zecora began, "I would like to know more about you. What species are you? Where did you come from? Why are you here?"

"Slow down, please," I said, "I can answer your questions, but you have to give me time. I'm a human, I came from San Diego in the United States of America, and I want to go home. I don't really have any more information than that."

"I see," she replied, "There's not much I can glean from that information." I shrugged, showing that there wasn't much else I could say. "Anyways, you found yourself in Equestria. It sounds like you came from somewhere far away. I'm sorry about that, seeing as you seem to have amnesia. I know of a little town just outside of this forest. There is a mare there that can probably help you. If you take the path directly outside of this hut, then you can find your way there. But beware the leaves of blue, or the plants play jokes on you."

After leaving Zecora's place, I headed down the straight and narrow path. I ran into the blue leaves she spoke of after a few minutes. Warily, I skirted the plants, making sure not to fall in. I really don't want something like my voice getting higher or something like that. After passing that, I continued my trek. Eventually, I escaped the forest and headed to the thatched-roof cottages of the town at the bottom of the hill.

Once I entered the town, I saw all manner of strange anthropomorphic animals running around, acting as if they had places to be. All except one, a young looking girl. She had curly pink hair and a pink coat. She was wearing a yellow tank top shirt with frills on the top, poofy green short shorts, white and pale purple striped stockings, and small red shoes on her hooves. I decided to try to talk to her. She seemed like she knew things.

"Excuse me," I began, "But this town wouldn't happen to be Ponyville, would it?"

"GASP, a new pony!" shouted the girl excitedly, "Hi, my name is Pinkie Pie! Yeah, this is Ponyville. So, anyway, what's your name? I need to know so I can have a party for you so that you can be introduced to everypony! Oh, my gosh, this is so great!"

"Uh...I'm Iskander...um...I'm looking for one, uh, Twilight Sparkle? Do you know where I can find her?"

"Yepparooni! Just go down the street here and enter the tree library. She can be found in there. I hope you stick around long enough for your party!" With that, she cartoonishly ran off to a gigantic gingerbread house called Sugarcube Corner, as evidenced by the sign out front. I shook my head in exasperation, and continued on my way.

I knocked on the door of the aforementioned tree. I was not expecting the creature that opened the door. A small lizard was standing there, looking kinda tired.

"I'm here for Twilight Sparkle. Is she around?"

"Yeah, hang on a sec. Twilight! Some guy is here to talk to you!"

"Spike," said a voice from the stairway sternly, "It's not nice to call somepony 'some guy,' its...rude," the voice slowed down when the owner reached the bottom of the stairs. Standing there was a girl with a dark purple mane and tail with a light purple and pink stripe down the mid-right side. Her coat was a pale purple color. She was wearing a white dress shirt with a purple tie, a short, red pleated skirt, black stockings, and black shoes. On her head was a horn. Remembering what Zecora said, she was a unicorn. She was staring at me, wide eyed, with her mouth hanging open. I suppose I must be quite the imposing figure, what with my huge body, red cape, and leather armor.

"You wouldn't happen to be one 'Twilight Sparkle,' would you?"

"Y-yes. That would be me. Wh-who are you?"

"Very sorry. My name is Iskander. If you feel like it, you could call me Rider. Zecora said you'd be able to help me?"

"Oh...I'm very sorry...um...excuse me..." she stammered, "I suppose, if Zecora sent you, then I can help. However, I must send a letter to the Princess. SPIKE!"

"Already on it," said the small lizard, rolling up a scroll, and burning it with fire from his mouth.

"Hey," I said, "That's a pretty cool way to send a message, little lizard guy. Do you think you could teach me how to do that?" I asked, giving a huge belly laugh, which I thought sounded way cool.

"Sorry, but I don't think I can," said Spike, "And I'm a dragon, by the way, not a 'lizard guy.'"

"A dragon you say...Splendid! To think I'd meet a dragon. Today certainly has been interesting!"

"Riiiight," said Spike sarcastically, "You aren't as scary as you seem, though a bit coo-coo."

"Spike," said Twilight sternly, "Please don't give that stallion any reason to be angry."

"Angry?" I asked, "Why would I be angry? He's only speaking his mind. No one can call himself a man if he can't do at least that."

Suddenly, the little drake gave a big belch, spurting out a scroll. I picked it up and began reading aloud, "Dear Twilight Sparkle, it sounds like you've met an interesting character. I hope to meet him! I will, however be too busy to come and meet our guest. Things are quite hectic here, what with dealing with Discord's mischief a couple of weeks back. Sincerely, Princess Celestia."

"So...she can't make it, huh," said Twilight, crestfallen, "Excuse me, mister Rider, what do you need my help with?"

"I wish to get home," I announce, "I'm stuck in this strange place without my friends or family. Zecora told me that you can help me out."

"Well, I certainly can try, although I can't make any promises. Where did you say you were from?"

"The United States of America. San Diego to be precise."

"Strange, I've never heard of either of those places before. Maybe if I can get the girls together, we may be able to help you out. But not today. Pinkie sent out party invitations for a Welcome to Ponyville Party at Sugarcube Corner. Must be for you, as you've never been here before. C'mon, you need to get changed out of those clothes and into something more suitable, and I know just the mare to help."

Twilight led me to a building that looked kind of like a carousel. It was called Carousel Boutique, and I kinda blanched at the name. It really was a terrible pun. After knocking at the door, a voice sounded behind it, as it began to open, "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique!" Out stepped possibly the most beautiful anthropomorphic horse I'd seen so far. Her coat was a brilliant white, while her royal purple mane and tail were done up in luscious curls. She was wearing a black turtle neck with a jewel just beneath the collar, a light grey skirt, black stockings with visible garters, and black shoes. "Oh, hello Twilight," she continued, "And...who are you? You look magnificent!"

"My name is Iskander," I said for about the thousandth time that day.

"Well...I love the way you look! So commanding, so awe-inspiring! I must make a line based on your style! Come in, come in. Any friend of Twilight's is a friend of mine."

"Um...shouldn't a lady give her name?"

"Of course! How silly of me. My name is Rarity Belle, but everyone just calls me Rarity. I must say, your name is a little odd, but it truly suits you. A commanding name for a commanding presence. By the way, what are you in need of?"

"We need some casual clothes for the party tonight," said Twilight, "Those clothes will only scare ponies."

"True enough. Come, Iskander, time to get you measured."

We walked into the building. It was actually much larger on the inside than out. All around, mannequins were set up, showing off beautiful dresses and dapper suits. Near the back stood a stage, perfect for showing off fashions to people, or ponies, as the case may be. I didn't need to be into fashion to know, this Rarity was the best of the best. I stood on the round table for measuring. A measuring tape began floating towards me, carried in a soft blue light. At this point, I wasn't really surprised by anything.

"Could you remove your cape please?" Rarity asked. I complied. "Oh, dear, what happened to your tail? You don't seem to have one."

"I...uh...don't have one." I said. I didn't know why I felt so embarrassed. I guess it was where she was looking, but I wasn't sure.

"Oh, well...that certainly is interesting. You get more mysterious as we go along. Your muscles are also something to be admired. Out of curiosity, how did you do it?"

"Well...where I come from, the bigger you are, the more you are admired. So, I just...exercised, and I became what you see now."

"Fascinating. Alright, I think your measurements are done. I can now get working on your new outfit."

"Can you take a request?"

"Absolutely, as long as overall design doesn't change. I had a particularly bad run-in with others changing my designs before," she looked pointedly at Twilight, who shrunk back a little with a sheepish look on her face. I looked between the two, and decided I really didn't want to know.

"I only want one design. It looks like this," I drew a picture of the Earth and put Admiral and some Japanese writing on top of it, "Its...from my home. It was from a show I saw."

"Well, its certainly interesting. I'll see what I can do."

A half hour later, Rarity came out of the back room.

"The dressing area is over that way," said Rarity, pointing to a round curtain in a small corner of the boutique. I entered the curtain. If it was a dressing room, it was certainly different. As I was changing, on the other side of the curtain, I heard giggling. Ignoring them, I finished getting dressed. I came out wearing a white t-shirt with my custom design on it, comfortable blue jeans, and large brown boots. Both girls gasped. I hoped it was a good gasp, 'cause I felt pretty sexy.

"You look great!" complimented Rarity, "It fits you to a T. By the way, what does that writing say?

"I'm...not really sure, to be honest. Its not exactly in my native language."

"Yeah," said Twilight, looking thoughtful, "It seems more closely related to Neighponese than Equestrian, although, its not the same. Even I can't read it."

"Regardless of what it means," I put in, "Its about time for that party, if I'm correct."

"Yep. Come on, let's go."

The entire building was hopping! The music was quite loud, though not loud enough to drown out a conversation. I was downing my fourth apple cider. I gotta give it to them, these ponies sure knew how to party.

"So," came a tomboyish voice, "You're the Iskander everyone is talking about?"

"That'd be me, yes," I replied, turning around. There stood a girl with wings. Her coat was a light blue color, reminding me of the sky on a clear day. Her mane and tail were a bright rainbow color. She was wearing a blue tank top with white straps and tight-fitting shorts with a golden stripe down the side, showing off her very athletic body.

"Well," she said, "What do you say to a drinking contest?"

"Right now, I want to enjoy my party and not get piss drunk. Maybe later, though," I replied. Frankly, I was curious as to how much I could imbibe in this body. Back home, I was considered kind of a lightweight when it came to alcohol.

"That is too bad," she said back, "Maybe we could compete in something else. You seem pretty strong. If you don't want to drink, then maybe we could arm wrestle."

I thought about this for a few moments, and decided I didn't have anything to lose.

"You're on!" I said. We locked arms. "Three, two, one, go!"

The battle only lasted a moment. Using all the strength in my arm, I slammed her hand down hard enough to break the table.

"Wow!" the girl exclaimed, "You're pretty strong! Not many can say they beat the Dash! Oh, shoot, did I forget to introduce myself? The name's Dash. Rainbow Dash. I'm the fastest flyer in Equestria and a shoo-in for the Wonderbolts."

"The Wonderbolts?" I asked.

"You don't know about the Wonderbolts? They're only the best fliers ever! They're a branch of the Equestrian military, although they do shows for ponies all over the country."

"That sounds pretty cool. If you are the fastest, why don't we have a race later?"

"You don't have wings," Dash said, "How are you supposed to race me if you can't fly?"

"Oh, I have a way, don't worry about that."

"Sound's like someone's a mite ambitious," said a voice with a southern drawl, "Only truly confident ponies ever ask Dash for a race." Walking up to us was a girl in a brown jacket, a skirt with a black belt with a large gold buckle, boots, and a stetson. She was wearing a strapless, sleeveless white shirt under the jacket that exposed her belly button and hugged her rather large breasts. Her coat was a tan color, while her hair was a straw-blonde color done up in ponytails. "The name's Applejack, though everyone calls me AJ. It's a pleasure to meet ya, Iskander."

"Same to you, AJ," I said, shaking the hand she was offering, "You know, I have ways to beat her at her own game."

"Well," said Dash, "Those are big words. I hope you can back them up. Come on and show me!"

"Alright then," I said confidently, "Let's get outside and do it. Give me a sec though, I have to get my sword first."

Walking to the corner where I had left my cape and armor before the party started, I pulled out the spatha. I walked back to the girls.

"All right, I'm all set," I said. We exited the building and walked to the top of a hill just outside of town.

"I hope you're all set," said Dash tauntingly, "Nothing is faster than I am, so this is your last chance to drop out."

"No way. We're here, and I don't want to be seen as a wimp."

"Hehehehe, if you're sure..."

Swinging my sword, I cut a swath of lightning. As Rainbow stared wide-eyed, out of the electricity came two bulls, surrounded by lightning, dragging around a huge war chariot. The chariot was a red color, while the bulls were black and red. Along the sides were large sword-like blades that looked sharp enough to pierce anything that got in their way. I got into the back and grabbed the reins.

"I'm all set," I said matter-of-factually. To be honest I don't quite know what exactly I did to summon the Gordius Wheel, the war chariot, but whatever I did, I did it correctly. Rainbow shut her mouth after realizing it was open. Her expression changed from amazed to determined almost immediately.

"First one who makes it to my house and back wins," said Dash, "Its the one on the cloud."

"All right, let's go."

"Ah'll be the referee," said AJ, "So, if y'all're ready. On your marks, get set, go!"

We took off simultaneously. I left tracks of lightning, while Dash had a trail of rainbows behind her. I started pulling ahead. I made sure to start to turn early due to the horrible cornering that the chariot had. Reaching the cloudhouse, I was already almost turned around. Dash had fully caught up, and was completely ready to pass me. She put on a burst of speed, outpacing me completely. I finished my turn, and gave the reins a crack. I felt the acceleration on my face, the wind whipping over my exposed arms. The exhilaration was enough to make me laugh. At this point, I didn't care about winning. As we were reaching the finish line, I began catching up again. Passing by AJ, we slowed down enough to stop. Getting out, I walked over to Dash.

"Wow, that was AWESOME!" she shouted, "You were amazing! I totally won, though."

"Actually," said AJ, "It was a tie. I still can't believe someone almost beat Dash at racing."

"I went easy on him."

"I don't think so," I said, "You're the kind of girl that cannot fathom defeat. You would never risk losing, no matter who you were facing. However, I think that this victory goes to you, most definitely."

"No, you caught up to me. That wasn't my full speed, though."

"It's true," added AJ, "She can go so fast, she can create a sonic boom. It is really cool."

Dash and I shook hands. It was, after all, a friendly competition. I dismissed the chariot, and we headed back inside. Immediately inside the building, I was greeted by a soft voice that I almost missed.

"Excuse me," it said, "I saw that race against Dash just now. I was wondering...um...could I possibly see the bulls pulling your chariot? I noticed that they seemed rather distressed."

I turned around to see two huge greenish-blue eyes belonging to a yellow girl with wings. She was yellow colored with long, soft, light pink hair. She was wearing a green, sleeveless turtle neck, blue skirt, white stockings with blue ribbons near the top, and green shoes. I just couldn't resist the amount of cuteness that this girl oozed.

"Sure," I said, slightly taken aback.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said demurely, "You don't have to."

"No, no, its all right. Come on."

We went back outside, and I brought the bulls out without the chariot attached. The yellow girl walked straight up to the closest one, and began petting it. She then lifted up its hoof, checking out the bottom. The bull shifted its weight, allowing her to make sure it was fine. She continued her checkup, checking all the hooves. She began checking out its hindquarters, making sure to reassure the beast that she wasn't going to harm it in any way. After finishing that part, she walked up to its head and began checking its teeth. I watched, in awe of how careful she was being, and how compliant the bull was being. She finished the first one and moved on to the second one. She repeated the process, being careful to make it feel comfortable. When she was done, she walked back up to me.

"If you don't mind," she said, "I would like to see them for a little longer. I'm just going to take them to my house. They need to be cleaned and have a full physical checkup. Oh, I almost forgot. I'm Fluttershy. Its not every day that I get to see such magnificent animals. Thank you."

"Don't mention it," I said, impressed at how professional she was, "I'm Iskander, the new guy. This certainly is an amazing place. Thanks for the offer, I'm sure they will love you."

She smiled at me. I felt glad that I could trust her, because, frankly, I'm not really sure how to take care of a bull, and I had two of them. I walked back inside and began enjoying the party.

The party was winding down. As more and more ponies left (that's what they kept calling themselves), the music died down slightly. It was then that Dash and I decided to do that drinking contest she had proposed. We decided that the rule for the contest was that we would slowly increase the alcoholic content of our drinks. Applejack provided the drinks, while Twilight kept score. We began with a light drink. After downing it, I couldn't feel any difference. As we continued increasing the strength of the drinks, I began seeing a small blush on Dash's cheeks. I was also feeling the effects.

"You're pretty good," she said, slurring her words slightly, "Holding down your liquor like that."

"Heh, so are you," I replied. We continued the contest in the now almost empty building. The only ones that remained were the girls I'd met. Fluttershy had returned from bringing my bulls to her home.

Finally, after many drinks, all four Dashes fell out of their chairs.

"Oh, dear," exclaimed Fluttershy, "I'd better get her home. It's not safe to drink and fly, after all. Goodnight, everyone."

"Goodnight, Fluttershy," everyone answered.

"Come with me, Rider," said Twilight, "I think you're ready for bed. I'll put your bed next to the bathroom, seeing as your hangover is going to be really really bad."

We left Sugarcube Corner, with me leaning on Twilight's body, ignoring her grunts of displeasure at having to carry all my muscle home. Entering the tree, she sat me down near what I suspected was the bathroom door. Twilight went upstairs, and came down carrying a twin-sized bed in her magical grasp, with Spike helping her.

"It's going to be too short to fit you," said Twilight, "So I'm going to expand it with magic. It might not be perfect, but it should be comfortable enough."

The bed was once again enveloped by her magic, growing slowly to a bed that I could reasonably sleep in. After getting ready in the bathroom, I lay down to get some sleep, and get over the drinks I had that night.

Author's Note

This, right now, is the longest chapter I've written, other than that one story I wrote for English class. You probably noticed I cut Zecora's rhyming scheme fairly early. I really didn't want to spend hours trying to put that conversation into rhyme. As I said, this story is just for shits and gigs, and, as such, I don't guarantee frequent updates. Not that I've shown the capacity to do that before. :twilightsheepish: Also, for a story done for fun, it possibly has the most thought and effort put into it than any of my other stories.

Here is Rider's Theme to celebrate

Rider (Iskander) looks like this

Waver Velvet

Rider's everyday shirt

Rider's spatha

Gordius Wheel war chariot

Bulls

Zecora looks somewhat like this

Mane Six look like this (and so does everypony else in this fic)