The Moon and I

Day 3

Entry 1

Today is Saturday, so I don't need to worry about work or anything like that.

I also remembered to take my meds, so that's good. Ideally no more fluttering.

This morning I went over to the bakery -- it's called "Sugar and Spice"; try to guess their motto -- and would have ordered a coffee for myself and a donut for Luna, but it was "closed until further notice" according to the sign on the door. I wondered why Jay, the owner, was out. Not much could keep him from running his bakery. I hoped he was okay. I ended up heading to the supermarket and bought one of those dozen-boxes of donuts with powdered sugar. Luna took to them, and I can't wait to show her the good stuff from Sugar and Spice.

I wanted to get a haircut -- I was starting to look pretty shaggy -- and walked to Joey's. The town was full of kids, as usual on a Saturday when school was out and chasing each other through the yards was viable, and one of them bumped into me as he played tag with another. The mom walked up to me and apologized before scolding her kid, but I told her it was okay; gods knew I've been hit harder before.

Joey himself was long dead -- the barbershop was founded in the 1800s, after all -- but his family still ran it. The kid giving me a haircut was pretty clearly new at it, and didn't do a very good job, but I tipped him anyway. Practice was how one improved and I might as well give him some pocket change, too.

I arrived back home to find Luna sleeping on Jitters. The dog looked tolerant enough, so I left her be, but she heard the squeal of hinges and woke up. She ran over to me, jumped on me, and said, muffled by her immaturity and my chest, "I love you, Daddy."

Daddy, huh? Was it wrong that my first thought was "I'm not your father" and my second was "and I can't be one"? And that it took until the third to realize that I'd already pretty much adopted her? I mean, she just kinda appeared, and I didn't even hesitate before treating her like the daughter I'd never known I wanted. Right then, I made a decision that sure as hell is gonna change my life. I decided that I could be a dad. "Love you too, Luna." She smiled and nuzzled me.

Also, she can talk, clearly. I wondered how much of my earlier explanation she understood, but decided that it was time for her to learn more languages. I'd read that kids could learn them until about age four, and hoped the same applied to foals. I've been talking to her in Italian, slowly, and she seems to be learning it. If I'd had someone to talk with, it would have been better. As it was, I just talked to her and translated what I said as I said it. I'll see in a few days if it's working.

There's also the issue of whether I should let the rest of the world see her. They'd probably treat her like a pet -- I mean, I did when she first got here. Maybe if I could find others, we could band together. Maybe "come out" together. I still don't know how to do that. I mean, Jay is trustworthy, for sure, so I could ask him for help, but I can't talk to him because his store is closed. There isn't really anyone else I trust in this town. The paranoia that once served me so we'll makes it really hard, and Jay only did it by not revealing something I'd told him in confidence and completely slammed. I get a feeling that it was so he'd not lose a customer, but I'm always cynical. Call it a character flaw.

I suppose I could talk to my boss, but he might think I'm crazy and I don't want to risk bringing Luna for the commute.

So many things to think about.

Anyway, I gently picked her up and set her down on my lap as I pulled over my sketchpad. "Wanna see what Daddy's working on?" She nodded enthusiastically and sat up as I pulled out a less gory drawing. It was a fairly simple landscape of a city in the distance, and she watched intently as I outlined the skyscrapers and drew in the finer details. It was fun to watch her follow the pencil with her eyes as it lay down new patterns, and I wondered why it was so captivating.

On impulse, I sketched myself and Luna, sitting together, looking at the city. She giggled when I finished and asked if that was her, and I told her it was. She turned around and hugged me again and I hugged her back. Then she asked if I'd drawn the whole thing and I said yes. She asked if she could see me draw one from scratch, so I flipped to a clean sheet and thought for a moment.

Luna had an idea. "Can you draw me?"

I laughed and said of course I could. I picked her up and sat her down on the table in front of me, saying that I needed to see her in the pose she wanted. She promptly rolled over and showed her belly. "Like this!" I laughed again -- gods, it feels good to really laugh -- and I complied. She lay there for a few minutes as I sketched her before her legs started drooping and she yawned. She struggled to keep her legs upright, and I told her we could keep going tomorrow, or later today. I'm actually writing this at about noon. When Luna -- I think I'll start calling her Lu -- wakes up again, I'll continue drawing her. I just took the time to write this down.

Also, I'm gonna not mention times when nothing happens. Once I've got a routine, I'll stop writing about it. He'll, there are bits here that don't really need to be written out. I won't get rid of them though.

She's starting to wake up. I hope that drawing turns out OK. It'd be pretty embarrassing if that offhand sketch of her turned out better than the real drawing.

Entry 2

The drawing came out alright. It's not my best piece, but I don't exactly often draw adorable little ponies asking for belly rubs. After I finished, I did give her some. It felt cruel not to. She loves them.

I can see myself changing over these days. Around Luna, I'm not as worried. I didn't flinch when the mailman announced I had a package at the door. Honestly, I think it's a change for the better. I'm becoming a better person to be a dad.

I let Luna open up the package. Inside was a stack of comic books, from... my boss?

There was a note tied to the front. "Get well soon; everyone else is lazy as hell." Yep, that was Dave, alright, always being pragmatic while showing he did care. It was half the reason I stuck by him instead of taking a higher-paying job somewhere else. That and the boss liked me there; I could pretty much do as I pleased as long as it was legal and I got my work done.

The comic books were, go figure, the My Little Pony comics. Well, now I had an incentive to read them. They might hold information about Luna that I could use.

Huh. How would I explain that to Luna? That we had a TV show and comics and an entire fandom that loved ponies, but didn't know they existed?

A few might actually worship her. That would be fun. I 'll make sure it doesn't go to her head, of course, but it would be awesome to be privy to the birth of a religion.

I sighed and looked at Luna. She was staring out the window, probably at the cars passing by. I followed her gaze and saw that I was wrong, and looking at a man walking up the path to my house. I jumped up and pulled Luna back. She'd been peering out from under a curtain, so the man probably didn't see her. All I could see was his silhouette, so I couldn't tell.

He knocked on the door and shouted something. I was busy instructing Luna not to make a sound in my closet until I said she could, and apologized for being so rough as I put her inside.

I walked back to the door and opened it slightly and saw the mailman, coming for the second time today. He wore a sheepish grin and held out a tablet. I smacked my forehead; I'd forgotten to sign for the package. I did that and he thanked me, then walked back to his truck. I took Luna out if the closet and she hugged me and asked if the man was bad and if she should hide.

I thought for a moment before saying that she should try not to be seen unless I said it was okay, but that it wasn't that the man was a bad man. She accepted that without questioning and nuzzled me. I'm glad her horn isn't sharp or she'd disembowel me every time she did that.

Actually, her horn is going to get really sharp, if the comics are anything to go by. I read the first one with Luna asleep on my stomach and me not wanting to move the adorable little filly. Thankfully they were in arms reach of the door.

I needed to take my meds, though, so I had to gently put her on the bed. She grumbled but stayed asleep and I took the pills, then smiled and snuggled into my chest when I picked her up again. I pulled out the unfinished Space Marine sketch and kept working on it. I was carefully drawing the Chapter insignia on the marine's armor when Luna poked her head up and asked, very innocently, "What's that, Daddy?"

I flipped it quickly and replied, "It's something you shouldn't be seeing at your age."

She asked why I didn't want her to see it, and if she'd done something wrong, so I spent the better part of ten minutes explaining that no, she'd done nothing wrong, and it was just that Daddy was trying to shelter his little filly from the worse things in the world until she grew up enough to realize that good things existed, too. She thought for a moment as I marveled at my word choice -- "my little filly" -- and suddenly realized that I've changed a lot more than I'd thought.

I'm happy, though. Even if I'm not myself, I'm happy. I guess that's all that matters.

Anyway, by then it was clear Luna wanted to go outside. I told her to stay behind the house and, if she did fly, to stay below the height of the wall at the back. She nodded solemnly before breaking out into a grin, calling for "Doggy", and galloping out into the yard. I dragged a chair and my sketchpad out and kept working on the drawing.

I was so engrossed in that that I didn't notice Luna take flight until she giggled and said, "Daddy, look!" I did and my jaw dropped. She slowly drifted over to me and only made it halfway before she got too tired and fell. I was there to catch her, though, so she didn't land too roughly.

I hugged her tight to my chest as she panted, face flushed with effort, wings sagging. She smiled though and started to laugh. "I did it!" I nodded and nuzzled her and told her how proud I was. We'd been out there longer than I had thought and the sen was maybe an hour from setting. I carried her to bed and she rolled out of my arms onto it. I started to go back to my chair, where I was sleeping last night -- I had decided to let her have the whole bed -- but she called me back over and asked if I would sleep with her.

It took a massive force of will not to cringe at that phrase and remember it was someone who was, at most, three saying it.

I ordered a few of those books for little kids to teach them to read for her. I really hope she can't yet, because that'll be embarrassing and make her feel humiliated. I'll ask her tomorrow.

Tonight I remembered to put a diaper on her. She looks embarrassed when I do but doesn't protest.

Anyway, I should go back to bed. I don't want Luna to wake up and wonder where I've gone.

Again tomorrow.