Chapters Prologue:When The Saints Come Marching In
It had been several years since Tirek laid waste to Equestria, and its citizens were unhappy. They gave the Princesses several chances, the Nightmare Moon incident, the Changeling Conflict, Sombra's Takeover, but a giant centaur taking away all magic?last straw. The citizens of Equestria turned on Celestia and Luna, and began to consider rebellion, a way to get rid of the corruption, (or the neglect, depending on one's viewpoint) in their fair country.
The Wonderbolts, once a group of famous fliers who protected the Princesses, took over Cloudsdale, and made a dictatorship under the iron hoof of Spitfire.
The Magickalz, a gang of Unicorns named by its leader, the "Great and Powerful" Trixie, took over the Crystal Empire in order to use the power of the Crystal Heart.
The Fashionistas, led by Hoity Toity, took over Manehatten, the fashion-capital of Equestria, and threw lavish parties every night to flaunt themselves to the common-folk.
And last, but not least, the Changelings. Due to the weakening of Celestia's power over Equestria, she had few ponies helping her when Queen Chrysalis and her hordes attacked. The royal guard had mostly deserted her, and Shining Armor was with Cadence, trying to find a way to take back the Crystal Empire.
And so, Chrysalis took over. Night and day were now unbalanced. When Chrysalis wanted to gaze upon her kingdom during the day, she made the sun shine, and when she wished to view Equestria at night, she rose the moon.
Terror filled the hearts of Equestrian citizens, as their doubts of the Princesses came true.They could not protect them, and only Twilight Sparkle remained in control over the town of Ponyville, repelling it from those who wished to plunder it.
If something didn't happen, the four warring factions would destroy themselves, along with all of Equestria.
In the form of the Third Street Saints
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Location:Boss's Ship,Space
Time:A week after The Boss defeated Zinyak
Universe:Human
"The fuck you mean,'no'?" The Boss asked as they leaned forward angrily on their throne.
Kinzie, the Boss's hacker, looked up at them. "Time-traveling any further could cause a major rift in the time-space continuum, possibly causing the entire universe to fluctuate and self-destruct."
The Boss thought for a second,"Meaning?"
Kinzie groaned, How stupid can they be? Wait, don't answer that. "Meaning, it would fuck up things bad,"She said, acting as if the Boss had the brain capacity of a three-year-old.
"Thank you!"The Boss said, relieved she was speaking English. Wait...We just stopped Earth from being destroyed, what the fuck could destroy the "Time-space continunumum" anymore?
"And before, you ask, we saved the Earth, we didn't destroy its entire history," Kinzie said, answering them before they even asked.
Shit! They thought. How smart is this bitch?
The pair heard the entrance to the throne room slide open, and the Boss's second-in-command, Johnny Gat, walked in.
"Hey Boss, take a look at this." Johnny smirked as he walked up the stairs to the throne. He was holding what seemed to be a small wrist-watch in his hands.
"'Sup, Johnny?" The Boss took the device and examined it,"So, what am I lookin' at?"
Johnny shrugged,"Hell if I know, I thought Kinzie might know somethin' about it."
Kinzie took it from the Boss's hands and started tapping the screen. It came to life, projecting an interface upwards.
Johnny folded his arms and chuckled,"Heh, just like the movies, eh' Boss?"
"Just fucking like 'em." The Boss raised their eyebrow at the machine,"That still hasn't answered our question, Kinzie."
She sat peering at it,"I'm...thinking that maybe, and this is a long-shot, that this is is a multi-universe exploration interface."
"Understand what she's sayin', Johnny?"They looked at Johnny hopefully.
"Maybe. I think, and I'm not for fuckin' certain,"Johnny answered,"but I think she's tryin' to say this thing let's you travel to other universes. Jesus that sounded stupid to say."
The Boss snickered," Yeah, it fuckin' did."They stood up and turned to Kinzie,"So, put it on me, let's see if I have an evil twin somewhere."
"You mean a good twin?"She smirked.
The Boss rolled their eyes and sighed,"Whatever, just send me somewhere fun." They tried to take it from her, but Kinzie pulled it away.
"Uh-uh! Not yet!"
The Boss faked an offended look,"Uh! But why not?"
"I need to make sure I have a way to contact you, and a way to get you out when you need it."
The Boss growled,"When will it be done?"
"When I say it's done." She looked at the two,"Shoo, I need to work."
The Boss pointed at the exit,"It's my fucking throne room, I shoo you. Go get to work, slave." They sat back down, arms folded, looking upward in indignation.
"Aww, fuck you,Boss." She laughed as she left the throne room.
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Location:Ponyville
Universe:Pony
"Oh Princess Sparkle, come out to pla-ay!" Called a changeling in a taunting voice, while the others fired the catapult.
The massive ball of rock flew violently into Ponyville's protective shield, creating a loud bang! From her castle-tree, Twilight Sparkle winced, as her head felt a sudden explosion of pain.
This had been going on for months, and Twilight was nearly to exhaustion. The only other time a pony had done something such as this, was when Sombra was being kept from the Crystal Empire with Cadence's magic. Cadence, however, didn't use it more than a few days.
Twilight had been at it for months, almost sleepless, but when she finally passed out from exhaustion, the other Ponyville citizens fought the gangs physically, until she had the strength to bring back the shield. Her mane was tattered and had patches, where she had ripped it out, hoping the pain would keep her awake longer.
Her eyes now had a gazed look over them, and the circles under them grew a darker purple than her coat. She hardly ate anymore, if she did, she would throw it back up anyway, and her ribs could be seen clearly, poking out painfully into her skin. She looked closer to death than even Granny Smith, whose time was coming, everypony could tell.
But Twilight kept strong, she had to. For Celestia, for Luna, for all of Equestria!
For all of her friends.
As the pain slowly subsided, she sat back up, used her magic to repair the damage made. Her horn sputtered, trying to find a source, any bucking source, to make magic from. Twilight never thought she would feel pain from using magic, but now, it was painful to simply pick something small up with it.
I can't do this anymore, I just can't! She thought, as tears started streaming down her emaciated cheeks,But what about Equestria, what about the girls?
She shook her and wiped the tears away with her hoof. She was right, she couldn't give up.
But...it hurts, and all I can hear anymore is SCREAMING, over and over again, SCREAMING FILLIES, crying as the gangs take over! I just can't bucking do this anymore!
There are fillies in Ponyville! Do you wish to see Apple Bloom scream for AppleJack? Hmm? Or Sweetie Belle for Rarity? I just know you'd love to hear Scootaloo scream for Rainbow Dash. Or maybe they wouldn't scream, maybe their throats would be slit in their sleep! I know it's hard, I bucking know it's painful, but they need us.
Damn. Since when did Twilight become so smart.
Oh, yeah, haha.
But-
No buts, we keep going.
Twilight often had conversations with herself such as this. As she used more magic, it took her sanity for fuel to keep it going. As seconds disappear, as does Twilight's grasp on reality, and her grasp on Ponyville.
Help had to come soon, or all of them would surely die.
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Location:Boss's Ship
Time:Two weeks after the defeat of Zinyak
Universe:Human
The Boss walked into Kinzie's workstation,"So, Kinzie, you finished with that 'universe travel' thingy yet?" She looked up at them.
"Almost...Just one more thing, and...done!" She handed to the Boss, smiling triumphantly,"Now, when you go somewhere else, we can talk, and you can escape if necessary."
"So... what kind of universes can I go into?"
Kinzie smiled, "Ones that are week in balance."
"So, something shitty, right?"
"Nope, something weak, as in unstable, fucked up." The boss stared at her expectantly.
She sighed,"There's a war going on, so the barrier keeping us out is weak."
The Boss patted Kinzie on the shoulder,"Thank you, Kinzie! Inter-dimensional travel and some fun on the side, sounds perfect." They put on the device.
"Welp, here goes." Suddenly a bright light flashed, and the Boss was gone.
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Location:Ponyville,outside Fluttershy's cottage
Time:Three months and four days since the takeover
Universe:Pony
The Boss woke up, lying flat on their face in mud, as rain poured down on them. They looked up, wiped the mud off their face, and saw some sort of animal coming up to them...a yellow pegasus with a straight pink mane.
Wait...what?
"Um...Mister, are you okay? It's raining, and when I saw the light, I thought you were struck by lightening. But when you got up, I realized that you're alive..."It said in a meek voice, approaching him slowly.
And it talks...well, I've fought fucking aliens and flown across a simulation with superpowers, so I suppose this isn't too strange. The Boss smiled at the horse.
"Yeah, I'm okay." It looked down shyly. They smiled nervously at her,"Are you okay?"
She nodded. The Boss just sat there,"Um...I'm getting kind of cold, and-"
"Oh my, I'm so terribly sorry, I didn't realize it was raining!" She said flying behind them and pushing them towards what was evidently her cottage.
Didn't realize it was raining my ass...at least she didn't try to kill me. What war was Kinzie fucking talking ab- The Boss looked down at their hands.
Well, hooves, actually.
"I'M A FUCKING HORSE?!" They yelled, making the horse squeak in fright , and fly back, hiding from them.
"Um...actually... we're ponies." She said as if being punished by a parent.
The Boss became dizzy,"What's the fucking,"They stopped, looked at their front hooves,Huh, I could have sworn I only had two of these, now there's four ,"difference?"They finished, slurring.
They then fell straight into the mud, completely unconscious.
Author's Note
Hope you enjoyed, remember to rate the chapter, comment the chapter, and follow or favorite if you want to see chapters similar to this one, see ya.
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Chapter 1:Walking on Hooves and Other Fun Activities
The Boss awoke to something slapping them across the face. They couldn't see that horse-ugh, "pony" doing something like that. She seemed too shy. But then again, they didn't think Dex or Julius would betray them either, so, who knows?
They opened their eyes to see a rabbit standing in front of the bed they were laying on. It was tapping its foot impatiently, a dickhead look on its face.
"What the fuck was that for?" The Boss asked angrily, touching where they were hit with their...hoof.
Oh yeah, that.
"Um...Kinzie? You, you there?" The Boss looked around the room, looking for a means of escape. There was a window, so they supposed if worst came to worst, they could jump out.
The rabbit frowned at them, probably wondering the who this "Kinzie" is.
"My name's not Kinzie, it's Fluttershy." The Boss jumped, flinging the demon off of them, as the pegasus, Jesus, that sounds stupid , from earlier walked in with a tea-tray.
Fluttershy? What a fucking name. Well, it could be something worse, like fucking, Sunset Shimmer or some shit.
"I know your name isn't Kinzie, um...Fluttershy. I, uh, I was talking to, um..."She put a hoof over their mouth and gave them an understanding look.
"I understand the need to talk to imaginary friends."She smiled,"I used to talk to them, too, before I found my animal friends."
You mean other horses? "Um, Kinzie's not an imaginary friend, she's-" She cut them off.
"I understand."She handed them a cup of tea she had just poured, And of course, grasping it with their fingers didn't work, so it spilled straight into their lap.
The Boss winced and grunted, and Fluttershy jumped up and set the tray down,"Oh dear, I'm so sorry, let me go get you a towel!" and she hurried out.
Why did she apologize for me spilling it? Maybe it's a horse custom or something. She came back in with some towels.
"I'm so sorry this happened,"she said, a look of intense worry on her face.
"Woah, woah,woah, Buttercup-" the Boss started getting out of the bed.
"Fluttershy."
They stopped and sighed,"Whatever. It's just some spilled tea! I'm fine." they smiled at her reassuringly.
"Still, it needs to be cleaned up."She handed a towel to them to clean up.
"Thanks, Fluttershy."She started cleaning the bed where it spilled.
She looked up at them as they dried off,"So you're royalty?" They turned towards her.
"Well, I killed an alien leader to get it,"She frowned at them,"but, yeah, I'm an emperor."
She stopped cleaning,"If...if you don't mind me asking, um...why hasn't anypony heard of you?"
And they say "anypony". Any more horse puns? Let me guess, is this place called Equo-Land? Fluttershy looked at the Boss, a serious look on her face.
"You're an emperor from a different land?"They nodded.
She narrowed her eyes,"Have you come to take the last remaining piece of Equestria?"
Well. I was close. "What? No? I came here to try out this."They showed her their hoof,"It's a device that lets me travel across universes,"That sounded stupid as-
"Oh, okay..."She said hesitantly,"I'm just glad you're aren't here to destroy us."
And she believed me. Okay. Trusting, but I have a feeling that she's the only person-shit! I mean, pony in this "Equstrya" to be so kind.
"And I'm not a horse-uh, pony. Well...I'm not supposed to be one." They looked down to their furry body. Why me?
The Boss decided that it was time to stop sitting on the side of the bed, and to take action! They would go outside, and face whatever horse-war Kinzie was talking about!
Then they fell flat on their face.
"Oh my! Are you okay, Emperor...um..." She started lifting them up, flapping her wings for help.
"Just call me the Boss, Shutterfly." They said shakily, legs wobbling. They then proceeded to fall forward, thankfully, however, this time they fell on their knees.
"Can you not walk because your legs are hurting, the Boss?"the Boss looked up at her exasperatedly. I just fucking said I'm not a horse, didn't she hear? Well, she also thinks I talk to imaginary friends, so I doubt she'd believe me on that one.
"No, Flootershy, I'm not hurt, I'm just used to walking on two legs." She giggled, making the Boss turn their head quickly towards her,"What?"
"Nopony walks on two legs!" she forced out between giggles, louder than usual. Though with this chick, that isn't saying much.
"Listen, do you have somebody," Dammit! ,"I mean, somepony who could understand what I'm talking about, like a fucking leader or something?"
"What does that word mean?" She notched her head to the right, a confused look on her face.
"Which one?"
"Um...the one that starts with an 'f'." Oh you have got to be kidding me!
"Do ponies not have cussing?" She gasped, then glared at him.
Well that's the scariest thing I've ever seen.
"How dare you use a swear word in front of my animal friends" She yelled quietly,"They're much too innocent to hear such awful things! Right, Angel?" She took the Floppy-eared death machine and hugged him.
From behind her back, innocent ol' Angel flipped the Boss off, a smug-ass grin on his face.
That little- She sat the rabbit down,"Have you learned your lesson about swearing, the Boss?"
"If you take me to whoever's running this shi-" She glared at them,"I mean, yeah! I'll never cuss around your..." Angel slid one of his paw-fingers across his throat threateningly,"'animal friends ' again. So, can you take me to your leader?"Take me to your leader? Wow, looks like Zinyak's getting to me.
She nodded, and smiled,"Of course, follow me." And started towards the door, until she heard another crash.
Mother.Fucking.HOOVES!
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Battered and bruised, yet determined, despite having to use Fluttershy as support, the Boss arrived at the front steps of the pony princesses's castle.
Is that supposed to look like a tree? "Um, is this it?" They asked. Fluttershy nodded.
The Boss looked around, up the towering tree, and saw the giant orb protecting them. Fluttershy noticed them looking at it.
"That keeps the gangs out..."She trailed off, a sad look on her face,"Twilight keeps it up with her magic. I-it's practically killing her!"
"I'm here to help Fluttershy." They smiled. What am I getting myself into? B-but, just look at her!
Fluttershy scuffed at the ground in frustration, but only made a cute little puff of dust.
Nobody could turn that sweetness down! Ugh... Jesus, I'm getting soft. "Can we go see Evening now?"
"Twilight."
"Yeah, that." the Boss smiled sheepishly, Fluttershy smirked, and motioned for the Boss to go in.
There was a doorknob. Normally, this would sound normal, but...
Hooves.
"Um, how do I open the door?" The Boss looked at Fluttershy expectantly, she looked at him strangely, and pushed it open. "Oh, um...thanks Fluttershy."
They walked into the dark treestle, and Fluttershy called,"Um...Twilight,"nervously, fearful of disturbing her sick friend.
The Boss just walked in, clopping their hooves as loud as they could,partially because they didn't want anyone to think they were sneaking up on them, and partially because they were more focused on not prat-falling than being quiet. Due to the darkness, they didn't see Spike the dragon, and tripped over him.
"Fuck!" the Boss yelled out in surprise. Spike put a forceful claw over their mouth.
"Shut up!" he whispered angrily," Twilight is concentrating on the spell, ya know? The one that keeps us alive ?"
"Sorry, I just didn't expect to trip over a fucking iguana!" they retorted.
Spike glared daggers at the Boss,"What did you just call me?"
They smirked at the dragon,"I called you an iguana ."
Spike growled,"What are you even doing here?"
Fluttershy waved at spike shyly,"We're here to see Twilight." The dragon assumed a solemn expression.
"Oh, hey Fluttershy!" he glared at the Boss,"Why does this pony need to see her?"
"They said they're from a different universe."
He raised his eyebrows,"A what now?"
"I came from the planet Earth."The Boss said.
"Look."they pointed at the device on their wrist,"This allows me to travel across universes. Believe me now?"
Spike snickered,"Nope." His demeanor darkened as he walked to the front door and held it open, pointing out. "Now if you would be so kind, please leave. Twilight needs to concentrate, and talking to you two would break it, and cost her valuable energy." The Boss tried to say something but Spike interrupted," I know you want to talk to her, but you'll thank me tomorrow morning when you wake up alive." He shut the door behind him quietly, leaving the Boss and Fluttershy out on the steps.
"Great," the Boss said, sarcasm dripping off their words,"That was useful."
Fluttershy sniffed,"I miss Twilight so much." The Boss softened and sat down next to her.
They wrapped their arm around her shoulders kindly and smiled at her,"I know. Listen, I came here for a reason. I came here to kick the asses of some motherfuckers, and you know what? I'm going to." They stood up, a fire in their eyes.
"What do you mean, the Boss?"
"Just Boss, Fluts, just Boss," they pulled her up quickly, and she followed them as they stomped towards the town, spirits high. They looked back at her,"You mentioned gangs taking this place over earlier. We're going to take your home back, Fluttershy. I need some help, though. You have some other friends other than Twilight, right?"
"Oh of course, there's Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash." She smiled at the thought of her friends.
The Boss smiled at the thought of new recruits," So, which one would you say is the best at fighting?"
She pondered upon this,"Rainbow Dash and Applejack are both very good fighters."
"No one is a better fighter than me!" A raspy voice rang arrogantly.
All of the sudden, a blue flash flew by and landed in front of them.
Rainbow hair? Why do I have a feeling that she's-
"You're new here aren't you? Well, then that means you haven't heard of the awesome Rainbow Dash! I'm the best flyer in all of Ponyville!"
Fluttershy smiled shyly,"I say in all of Equestria."
The Boss smiled at the brash pony,She is exactly what I need for the Saints. This chick is almost a female pony form of Johnny!
Rainbow continued with her self-advertisement,"And someday, I'm gonna join the...nothing." the fell at the thought of what she wanted to join.
"Who do you want to join, Rainbow Dash?" the Boss tilted their head, and Fluttershy waved her hooves, trying to stop them.
"The Wonderbolts."Rainbow said, anger in her eyes,"Those traitors ! Princess Celestia trusted them, Cloudsdale trusted them, Equestria trusted them!"she quieted, feelings of betrayal evident by her expression," I trusted them."
Fluttershy hugged Rainbow and nuzzled her, "It's okay Rainbow. They don't deserve somepony as wonderful as you." Rainbow smiled at Fluttershy gratefully.
"Listen, not to interrupt the romantic moment between you two," the Boss said, smirking. The two jumped away from each other and looked away, blushing.
"But I need some recruits for the Saints."
The two of them looked at the Boss curiously. "What are the Saints?" Rainbow asked.
The Boss smiled,"My gang. Listen, I need someone who knows what's going around here to join me, so we can take this place back from the Wonderstrikes, and all the other gangs."
"Wonderbolts ,"Rainbow corrected.
The Boss rolled their eyes,"Does it matter? All of the gangs are gonna be nothing more than a memory, so if it's Wonderbolts, Wonderstrikes, Wonderfuckers, it doesn't matter to me, because I'm going to kill every single person, or pony, who swears loyalty to someone other than the Saints."
Rainbow Dash had a motivated look on her face, and she smirked at the Boss,"Where do I sign?"
The Boss hoof-bumped her, and started walking towards the middle of the town."We're going to need more than that, though."
The Boss looked towards a brightly-colored pink pony bouncing around, making jokes. That is one crazy fucking horse. I like it.
They looked back to the two mares,"We need more ponies, because we're not stopping with this little town. We're taking over this entire fucking country."
Author's Note
Hope I did well, I tried. Thank you kindly for all you do.
When the manure hit the fan, it was Pinkie Pie who kept all the ponies going. With her jokes, pranks, and generally happy attitude, she kept everypony happy, and gave them hope that someday peace would return to Equestria.
The only pony Pinkie had a problem with keeping happy was herself. The other ponies had the opportunity to feel scared, sad, pessimistic, but Pinkie had to be happy and bouncy for everypony. On the outside, she seemed oblivious to the terrors of the world, but on the inside, she was more afraid than any of them.
The only life Pinkie had lived was a life filled with happiness, laughter, friends, and most of all, parties. But laughing away your fears only works while you have enough air. Eventually, even Pinkie would be fearful and depressed, for Equestria was gone, the princesses were gone, parties were gone.
Harmony was gone.
Pinkie bounced around the vegetable stand, (if you could call the blackened potatoes and rotten lettuce vegetables), laughing and joking in the hope of making the sales-pony smile. The stallion's face, however, remained solemn, and a hint of jealousy glimmered in his eyes at the happy pink pony.
If he only knew her pain.
While she was in the middle of a particularly funny joke about a walrus and dental-floss, when she saw Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy approaching.
They were following another pony, one she'd never seen before. Well at least this pony didn't need to be made happy! There was a smile on their face like she hadn't seen since the rebellion's beginning.
"Hey, a new pony!" she yelled in their face loudly, excitement extremely evident,"What's your name? What's your name?"
The Boss was taken aback at Pinkie's intensity. Insanely energetic...I guess she'd be good for the Saints. , "My name is the Boss, and you are?"
"My name is Pinkie Pie! We need to throw you a welcoming party!"at the sound of the word 'party' her poofy mane flattened.
Um, what the fuck just- , their thoughts were interrupted by her mane popping back up, and her smile returning, Well, that's creepy as fuck.
"Listen, Pinkie Pastry, I don't need a party. I want to know if you'll help me with something."
She smiled,"Sure, what do you need help with? Sword-fighting, wrestling, cupcake-making," Rainbow Dash shuddered at the thought of cupcake-making,"Tuba-playing, hoof-wrestling-"
The Boss cut her off by putting their hoof in her mouth,"Slow down! I need somebo- somepony to join my gang. I already have Fluttershy and Lesbo-Hair, and I need some more-"
They heard Rainbow Dash growl from behind them,"What do you mean, Lesbo-Hair?"
They snickered,"I need some more help, Pink Pal. Together, we can take back Equsra. How's it sound?"
At that, the sales-pony from earlier finally laughed,"Take back Equestria? You aren't going to be able do that."
The Boss looked around Pinkie,"What was that, asshole, I think I heard a challenge."
He smiled,"It was a promise. Those gangs are too much for a rag-tag group of ponies to take on. Especially with a little bitch like that Fluttershy with ya."
Pinkie, Rainbow and the Boss all got in defensive positions.
The Boss took the normal approach,"Shut the fuck up about Fluttershy."
Rainbow took the wrong approach,"Boss, what do you mean, 'Lesbo-Hair'?"
And Pinkie, after months of having to be happy and make people laugh, finally snapped. "The buck you think you are, talking about my friend that way, you bucking piece of manure? I ought to go to your bucking mother's house, get a bucking fork, come bucking back to this manure-stain on the food industry, and shove it up your bucking PLOT!" she then turned around and bucked him straight in the face.
While the Boss, Rainbow, and Fluttershy gasped at the outburst, the stallion simply stumbled back, and smiled a bloody smile. "You shouldn't have done that."
All of the sudden, Twilight Sparkle's magic-shield went down. All of the ponies looked up in horror, in exception of the sales-stallion, whose smile became even larger.
"Twilight fell asleep," Rainbow said, looking back at Twilight's castle, crestfallen.
"Yup." said the sales-pony, as he began to change color and morph into a hideous insect-like creature," And here comes the calvary!"
Suddenly, thousands of changelings erupted from Canterlot, heading towards the now defenseless Ponyville.
Almost defenseless. I'm here, aren't I? The Boss thought, staring up to the bombardment, grinning. "Well, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, here's your chance to prove yourselves."
Fluttershy tapped the Boss's shoulder, timidly," Um...How?"
The Boss chuckled darkly,"We're gonna kick some ass."
As a changeling flew straight in the Boss's face, they threw it on the ground, and bashed its skull in violently.
A disgusted look fell over the mares, except for Pinkie, who had already taken action with her party cannon.
"Lesbo, Fluttershy, come on!" the Boss yelled angrily as they they bucked a changeling away. Rainbow Dash snapped out of her stupor, and began to fight as well. Fluttershy was clearly trying, but wasn't making much progress by kindly asking the changelings to stop.
Suddenly, a series of wubs! began to sound out, as brightly-colored lights shot at the changelings.
The Boss stomped another changeling's head and the ground,"Who the flying fuck has a dub-step gun?"
Pinkie refrained from shooting her balloons of death, (the death part was fireworks inside of them!), for a moment to reply,"It's actually called a Bass-Cannon."
Rainbow looked up from the changeling ear she was biting off to yell,"Does it really bucking matter right now?"
"Dashie, using the incorrect title of something is wrong at all times. All times."
"She's right, Rainbow." The Boss was interrupted by another attack. When the poor creature made its crucial mistake, the Boss accidentally blew out a burst of magic, shooting it back.
"Holy shit, I have a laser-horn! Fuck yes!" They started shooting at changelings with it,"Pew pew, pew pewpew!"
Rainbow dash groaned,"Are you seriously being that immature right bucking now?"
Pinkie started pewpewing herself,"Come on, Rainbow, it's fun! Pew pew! Pew pew!"
Rainbow Dash shook her head,"I'm surrounded by idiots." she then Karate chopped a changeling making a "HWA! HYAH!" in good measure.
Pinkie then suddenly grabbed the Boss by the tail, prompting the Boss to nervously ask,"Um...Pinkie?"
"Hold it, Bossie, just doing something I've done with Twilight before."
"Does that involve creepy lesbian horse sex?"
She began to spin the Boss like a mini-gun, and magic-bullets began to shoot the changelings even faster.
"THIS IS ENOUGH VIOLENCE!" hissed a voice in fury. Pinkie Pie dropped the Boss, sending them crashing to the ground.
Every changeling and pony in all of Ponyville witnessed a terror that day. One they could never have seen coming.
Flutterbat.
"Come my babies, enjoy your meal." Flutterbat said, as suddenly, thousands of bats flew in screeching loudly, and pulsated themselves upon the town.
"Dine only upon the changelings. Not the ponies, for they are our allies."
The changelings figured that it was about time for them to get the hell-out-of-Dodge, and all flew away quickly, being chased by the bats. The slow changelings were caught, and had their blood sucked out of them.
The Boss watched on in horror, thinking, Note to self:Do not mess with Pinkie Pie, and do not mess with Fluttershy.
The shield went back up, and they heard a voice ask quietly,"What in the hay goes on when I fall asleep?" Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and the returned-to-form Fluttershy all ran and group-hugged the purple pony who asked the question.
"Oh, it's so good to see you, Twilight, we've all missed you!"
"I've missed ya egghead, hasn't been the same without you."
"I missed you so absotivily much! We all did, Twilight! We should throw a party!"
Twilight smiled,"We can have a party later, Pinkie, first I want to meet our new friend."
Pinkie appeared on top of the Boss's back in such speed, they swore she'd just popped up there,"This is the Boss! They're the leader of the 5th Street Alter-Colts, and we're gonna take back Equestria!"
Twilight raised her eyebrows and smirked,"Of course he will, just like I'll get another good night sleep sometime." she turned back towards her castle, and walked back, her head down.
"Hold it, Twilight Sparkle," the Boss called. She looked back at them sadly, and turned around to see what they had to say.
"I am the leader of the Third Street Saints, and I am from a universe ruled by humans." They said. Twilight gasped at the word human . They continued"You see, Twilight, I started out shy, worse than even Fluttershy, and were against all of the odds. I took over a city, lost it, took it over again, became a celebrity, took over another city, fought terrorists, became fucking president , took on aliens, and became emperor of the universe! If I can do that, I know I can take this place back."
Twilight chuckled,"You see, I have heard nothing from your long-drawn speech except empty promises. You cannot do all of those things. Nopony can." she started to walk away again.
Rainbow Dash stopped her,"Wait! Look at what the Boss, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and I did together. What all Ponyvillians did together."
Pinkie Pie smiled at Twilight tenderly,"As a town, we all banded together and fought back. We do it every time you pass out."
Fluttershy finished their sentiment,"All we need is somepony to help us take the fight to the offensive. And the pony who can do that, is the Boss."
Twilight's eyes began to moisten,"So, you believe in them that much?" they nodded,"I trust my friends more than anypony. If Applejack and Rarity approve of them as much as you do..." she nodded at the Boss,"We can try what they want."
The three mares cheered aloud, and Pinkie whispered in Twilight's ear,"Plus, I've heard from Luna that the Saint's colors are purple, so that's a plus for you!"
Twilight frowned,"How does Luna know that?"
Pinkie smiled,"Evidently you've never spent any time with Luna! She loves video-games!"
Twilight looked on in wonder as the Boss, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy headed towards the Carousel Boutique, being led by the bouncing Pinkie le Pew.
Author's Note
Well, enjoy.