Crossed

by OneOverTwo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, Other, Equestria Girls
Length: 23119

Derpy has very vivid dreams, but they're so consistent that she has trouble telling what's real. Something happens that causes her further confusion. Perhaps everything is more real than she thought.

Derpy has very vivid dreams, but they're so consistent that she has trouble telling what's real. Something happens that causes her further confusion.
Perhaps everything is more real than she thought.

Published 2014-06-22 19:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-04 07:24:20 UTC

Is This Reality?

Author's Note

Fair word of warning: In this story I made Dinky and Amethyst Star Carrot Top's children. Not because I'm opposed to Derpy as their mother or anything, but because I think it's more convenient for the story that way.

Is This Reality?

Two ponies were standing around, one minding a market stall and the other just hanging out because she had nothing better to do.

“Carrot Top, do you ever wonder what’s real?” said the cross-eyed pegasus.

“No, Derpy, no I don’t,” said the earth pony.

“Oh… okay then.”

Derpy always pondered that question.

Derpy looked around herself. Pegasi flew thru the air on wings much too small to let them fly. Unicorns lifted objects using their mind. She even saw an Earth pony lift more than it looked like she should be able to, without exerting much effort too. Everything she saw around her she had been told was impossible or that it didn’t exist. Or had she? Maybe here was real and over there was the dream.

She guessed she wouldn’t ever know.

“So Derpy,” said Carrot Top, “What have you been up to lately? Seeing anyone?”

“What? Uh, no…” said Derpy.

“You’re going grey old mare someday instead of just a grey one. Heck, I’m the same age as you and already married with two children.”

“Sometimes I feel younger than I am.”

“That’s good, hold on to that. Does you no good if you mope around.”

‘I don’t know, teenagers mope around a lot,’ thought Derpy.

“Yeah,” said Derpy.

Things were suddenly silent. Carrot Top liked to ask that question every once in a while. She meant well, but she didn’t know of Derpy’s plight. The plight she never shared.

What was real?

“Mommy! Mommy!” said a tiny blond unicorn that was being trailed by an older purple-maned one.

“Dinky, Amethyst, you’re just in time to help me close up shop,” said Carrot Top smiling.

“Aw butts!” said Dinky, the smaller one.

Derpy couldn’t but have her spirits lifted at the sight of Carrot Top’s children, sometimes she felt like a second mother to them.

“Now now, don’t you want to help make things easier for your mother?” said Derpy.

Amethyst slid right on up to Derpy and wrapped one of her forelegs around her.

“Aw don’t mind her, she’s just in her lazy kid stage,” said Amethyst.

“And you’re in your lazy teen stage I bet,” said Derpy.

“Heh, maybe.”

Carrot Top turned her smiling face to Derpy.

“Want to join us for dinner again, Derpy?” said Carrot Top

Well she didn’t have anything better to do.

Dinner at Carrot Top’s always helped Derpy take her mind off things.
The entire family was there, the two daughters and the parents. The table was filled with a modest meal. Everypony had enough food for themselves and it was clear that the household wasn’t wanting for food. Derpy sat in between Amethyst and Carrot Top. Carrot Top sat across from her husband who was sitting next to their other daughter.

“-and that’s when we figured out the thing was out of ink!” said Written Script, Carrot Top’s husband, laughing.
He was the only one laughing.

“Um,” said Derpy, “if the paper was wet in the first place, doesn’t that mean you have another problem on top of that?”

Written Script’s chin fell to the table.
“Gee, I hadn’t thought of that,” said Written Script.

Carrot Top reached across the table to give him a gentle pat.
“So…” said Amethyst, “what did you do in school today, Dinky?”

Dinky puffed out her cheeks and scrunched up her face.
“Bluh! We just did boring stuff.”

“I’ll… take your word for it,” said Amethyst.

The table was silent, but that was only because nopony could think of what to say yet. Usually they were a lot more talkative; Derpy needed them to be or else her mind would start to wander.

“W-weather?” said Derpy.

“Oh, do you know what the weather will be like for the next few weeks? That’d be really helpful,” said Carrot Top.

Derpy answered in confidence, “Ye- no…” well she started with confidence.

“I know what the weather’s gonna be like,” said Dinky.

“Oh?” said Derpy and Carrot Top together.

“It’s gonna be butts!” said Dinky.

“You mean bad,” said Amethyst.

“It’s especially bad if it’s butts,” said Written Script.

Amethyst rolled her eyes.

‘Wish I could do that,’ thought Derpy.

“What makes it so butts?” said Derpy.

Amethyst looked grumpy. Dinky looked differently grumpy.

“It’s gonna- gonna be rainy,” said Dinky.

“Try not to stutter,” said Amethyst.

Dinky made an argumentative grunt.

“Some rain will be good for the garden,” said Carrot Top, “You don’t want mommy’s garden to dry out, do you?”
“I guess not,” said Dinky, ”Rain is still butts though.”

Derpy wished she could stick around here forever, but she had to be back home eventually.

Dinner at Carrot Top’s had ended and soon Derpy was alone in her house.
Having a place to herself was nice, but it didn’t help her tendency for her mind to wonder about her existence. She did everything to put her mind on something else from reading a book to smashing her head against the wall. It was a boring day for her, give her a break.

It wasn’t the usual time to do so, but she eventually resorted to trying to sleep.

Derpy went to sleep.

Derpy woke up.

She had been having the most vivid dream, if she had been dreaming that is.

It was still dark out; she had gotten up early.

Derpy went to the kitchen and poured herself something to drink.

“I hope I don’t feel tired when I go to school,” said the cross-eyed human.

“What are you doing up so late, young lady?” said Derpy’s mom.

“I can’t sleep,” said Derpy.

Derpy’s mom slapped her hand against her face.

“What am I going to do with you? You can’t sleep half the time and the other half you can’t wake up! Doesn’t help that you seem to be immune to both caffeine and sleeping pills,” said Derpy’s mom.

Derpy angled her head down dejectedly.

“I’m sorry,” said Derpy.

Her mom’s eyes widened then went back to normal.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m not mad at you. It’s just that sometimes it’s frustrating to deal with your sleep-related troubles,” said Derpy’s mom, “Now promise me that you’re going to hustle back to your room and try and get some sleep.”

“Okay,” said Derpy.

She had lied.
She did go to her room, but she didn’t try to sleep. She lied on her bed, looked at the ceiling, and thought about reality until it was time for her to get ready for school.

As They Get Answered, More Arise.

Princess Twilight was sleeping on the floor of Derpy’s cloud bedroom. Drool was pooling and seeping into the cloud.

Derpy was stirring and managed to get up. She was very confused about the sight on her left.

“Why is there a princess on my bedroom floor?” said Derpy.

“She insisted on staying the night when she couldn’t wake you up,” said Spike.

“... Why was she trying to wake me up?”

Princess Twilight suddenly jolted up.

“The other world!” said Twilight, “The one you see in your sleep!”

Derpy lifted her blanket to cover the lower half of her face.

“W-what about it?”

“I’ve been there,” said Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle explained her adventures in the human world to Derpy. She had been there just a few days ago. Some recent events suddenly became much clearer after that, though Twilight mostly glossed over the details in her explanation. Derpy told her that humans were called humans when it became apparent that she didn’t know.

“I’ll need to ask you a few questions to verify a few things,” said Twilight, “What is your Principal’s name?”

“Celestia,” said Derpy.

“The sports team captain is who?” said Twilight.

“Well it’s not like she’s the captain of all the sports teams, but you’re probably talking about Rainbow Dash,” said Derpy.

“Who won three crowns in a row?” said Twilight.

“Sunset Shimmer, who is a big meanie,” said Derpy.

“That probably covers ourselves for making sure our human worlds are one and the same,” said Twilight, “Now, I want you to fill out this extensive questionnaire.”
Twilight gave Derpy a clipboard that was holding a thick stack of paper.

After that awkwardness, Twilight managed to convince Derpy to come with her to the Ponyville library’s basement laboratory.

‘It’s not like I have anything better to do today,’ thought Derpy.

Vast machinery surrounded them. Everything was covered in wires, switches, and buttons. Beeping noises permeated the room. There was a machine that looked like you were supposed to hook up to a pony.

“I want you to strap yourself to that machine,” said Twilight pointing to it.

“That doesn’t really look comfortable,” said Derpy.

“Small sacrifices in the name of science,” said Twilight.

Derpy had been right about the machine’s uncomfortableness.
Twilight was carefully looking thru all the readings being printed out from it, she had been at it for at least an hour. Derpy thought so anyways.

“I’ve confirmed the readings and what I’ve found is very interesting,” said Twilight.

“What?” said Derpy.

“Everything is completely normal,” said Twilight.

“What?” said Derpy.

“Since your story seems to match up with mine, I have come up with a hypothesis,” said Twilight, “The condition is not detectable by normal methods.”

“Oh…” said Derpy.

Twilight took out a pen and a clipboard with plenty of paper in it.

“Please describe to the best of your ability how your two bodies two worlds situation works,” said Twilight.

“Um, well, um, it’s hard to explain,” said Derpy.

“To the best of your ability, please,” said Twilight.

“I don’t know what to say more than when one bodies awake, the other bodies asleep,” said Derpy “and that it’s dang near impossible to wake the sleeping body or drug the awake body to sleep.”

“That explains my inability to wake you up,” said Twilight, “Is there anything that will wake you up or make you sleep?”

Derpy thought long and hard and even came up with an answer of sorts.

“I usually fall fast asleep after a Thanksgiving dinner,” said Derpy.

“What’s Thanksgiving?” said Twilight.

“Nevermind,” said Derpy.

“I’m not sure if you’ll agree to this next request,” said Twilight, “but I want you to sleep in this scanning machine.”

“Absolutely not,” said Derpy.

Another day, another day at school. Derpy now knew that school was still halted for a few more days, but since she had nothing better to do she decided to go and see if Watermelody was still relocating instruments.
She was not disappointed.

Watermelody was carrying three flute cases in front of the school. She had reached the horse statue when Derpy called out to her.

“Watermelody!” said Derpy.

“Oh, um, hey Derpy. What are you doing here?” said Watermelody.

“Really I just came to see if you were still moving instruments around,” said Derpy.

“What~? Why would you want to see that?” said Watermelody.

“There’s no special reason, I just have a bit of a lack of things to do,” said Derpy.

Watermelody tried to snap her fingers, but didn’t quite succeed due to glove interference.

“Hey, I just had a great idea. Let’s go to your place,” said Watermelody.

“Okay?” said Derpy.

Though Derpy had refused to sleep in the machine, she still slept at Twilight’s. Twilight Sparkle herself was magically testing a bunch of frequencies at Derpy. She thought that maybe a certain frequency of sound could wake her up. It was pretty much a complete guess honestly. Twilight tested this on Derpy deep into the night.

“No Owlowiscious, I don’t need anzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,” said Twilight to her owl as she fell asleep on the floor.

Derpy’s mom was reading a book in the living room. She heard a loud thud noise.

“Swear word! that almost landed on my feet!” said Watermelody, “You don’t get to hold flutes anymore.”

“I don’t know what happened, guess I’m just not good at carrying stuff,” said Derpy.

The front door opened outwards.

“Swears! My elbow,” said Watermelody.

“Um, watch out for the door?” said Derpy.

“‘Thanks’,” said Watermelody.

In front of her, Derpy’s mom saw her daughter and a girl she didn’t quite recognize. The unfamiliar girl was having a hard time on her feet. It seemed that both had been hurt. On the ground were two flute cases. They were both very near the girl’s feet. Derpy was also
holding one.

“Oh my, I didn’t think you’d bring a guest over,” said Derpy’s mom.

She led them both to the living room. The room was decently sized, though it was obvious that you wouldn’t be able to fit a huge amount of people in it. Derpy and Watermelody sat upon the couch which was pushed up against two walls at a corner. Derpy was still holding on to a flute case, the other two had been left on the front porch. The television was large, but it looked just a bit old. A coffee table was at the room’s center, upon it was a vase containing three flowers and a book with a bookmark in it. Watermelody’s feet were also on the table.

“Do you two sweethearts want anything?” said Derpy’s mom.

“A turkey sandwich would be nice,” said Watermelody, “Give Derpy one too.”

Derpy’s mom went to the kitchen.

“Say your pleases and thank yous,” said Derpy, “Wait, why do you want me to have one?”

“So you won’t get jealous,” said Watermelody.

Derpy tried her best to stare incredulously at Watermelody, though given her crossed eyes it was a bit difficult for her.

“Don’t give me that look, you’re weirding me out,” said Watermelody.

Derpy continued her stare with more energy than before. Watermelody’s eyes were wide open and her mouth was as straight of a line as it could be. She did her best to back away from Derpy’s stare without getting off the couch or taking her legs off of the coffee table.

Then Derpy’s mom returned to the room with two very plain looking turkey sandwiches.

“I’m not sure what else you wanted,” said Derpy’s mom, “You could go to the kitchen and add a few things if you want.”

“Nah, I’m good,” said Watermelody right before taking a bite out of her sandwich.

Derpy looked at her sandwich. It was something she could only get in this world, even if she went out of her way to get meat items in the other world it would mostly be fish. Recently she had become very confused about the nature of her two realities.

‘I guess both are supposed to be real?’ thought Derpy.

“So are you going to eat it or what?” said Watermelody who had already eaten all of her sandwich

“Oh, um, right,” said Derpy.

She ate her sandwich.

Derpy fell asleep.

Author's Note

There's a reason she fell asleep, I swear!

Mystery's Misery Maintained.

Derpy woke up.

She was in Twilight’s guest bed. Twilight herself was snoozing on Derpy’s side.
Derpy poked her with a hoof.

“No… I don’t want to leave school mommy…” said Twilight.

Derpy would’ve rolled her eyes at that if she really could.
She then tried the feathers to the nose trick on Twilight.

“Ah! Choo~!” said Twilight.

She was bleary eyed and definitely tired.

“You’re awake?” said Twilight, “Does that mean my disruptive sound theory worked?”

“I didn’t hear anything…” said Derpy.

“That means it could go either way,” said Twilight, “I’ll have to play all the sounds I played tonight over again when you fall asleep again. Tell me, was there anything on the other side that might’ve made you go to sleep?”

“I dunno, maybe?” said Derpy.

“I’ll have to postpone my sound test then. Next time you’re awake, use anything that may have caused you to sleep before you would do so naturally,” said Twilight.

“Um, okay,” said Derpy.

Twilight walked over to her bed so she could get some proper rest.

“Oh,” said Twilight, “and one other thing.”

“What?” said Derpy.

“I need you to do something that might be a bit uncomfortable for you,” said Twilight.

‘Aside from that machine?’ thought Derpy.

“What?” said Derpy.

“I’m going to need you to talk to Sunset Shimmer,” said Twilight.

“Holy Carpentry! Is she alright?” said Watermelody.

Derpy had passed out on the floor. Her face was flat against the ground, her head had banged against the coffee table which it was under afterwards. The vase on it tipped over, pouring water onto the ground. Her feet were pushing against the couch, this combined with how solidly her face gripped the floor resulted in her rear sticking straight up.

Despite her panic, Watermelody’s feet were still resting on the coffee table. This meant that when Derpy hit the table it didn’t get pushed ahead so much as it got turned. The wall next to the couch gained a small dent in it.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head… you,” said Derpy’s mom.

“Watermelody,” said Watermelody.

“Noted!” said Derpy’s mom, “But anyway, Derpy’s just having some sort of narcoleptic spell. She usually has them around Thanksgiving. Maybe it’s something to do with the turkey considering…”

“Derpy has narcolepsy?” said Watermelody.

“No, no, no, least not any type I’ve read about,” said Derpy’s mom.

Watermelody knit her brows.

“You should probably take your daughter to a doctor or something, miss,” said Watermelody.

“W-why would I want to do that?” said Derpy.

It was useless as Twilight had already fallen back to sleep.

“We’d better be talking about this in the morning…” said Derpy.

Lacking anything better to do, Derpy went downstairs and began reading library books.
Scanning the shelves she found Equestria’s version of Provoking Thoughts ‘Delusions of Reality’. Derpy decided against reading it.

‘I’m confused enough without all this psychological mumbo-jumbo,’ thought Derpy.

Daring Do turned out to be a bit too similar to the other world’s version to really hold her interest.
The Ponyville library didn’t seem to have its own comic section, at least not one that Derpy could find.
Finally she settled on a book called ‘Pepper Pie’s Big Adventure’.
The book looked fantastical enough that she thought it would make her forget about her confusion.

Derpy the human was being carried to a slightly beat up compact car by her mother and Watermelody. Watermelody was walking on her heels; It took seemingly hours to place Derpy in the car’s back seats.

“So… think she’ll be alright like that?” said Watermelody.

“Don’t worry, people in our family are tough little numbers,” said Derpy’s mom.

“It’s just, I don’t think we placed her in a very comfortable position,” said Watermelody.

Derpy was sitting on her left hand. Her head was leaning against the car’s left back-window. She had her legs crossed and her left foot was touching the right back-door.
Derpy’s mom looked at her with the rearview mirror before adjusting it.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Derpy’s mom, “but you are right about the fact that I probably should have taken her to a doctor, figure out what exactly is off about her.”

Watermelody just nodded.

They drove to the most convenient hospital. There had been a bumpy road in the middle of their journey.

“Does anything wake that girl up?” said Watermelody.

“Not anything I’ve tried,” said Derpy’s mom, “and believe me, I’ve tried.”

Princess Twilight Sparkle felt well rested, though it was still a bit late. She went down the stairs to discover Derpy leaning against a bookshelf and reading.
Derpy didn’t look the least bit tired.

“Man, Twilight, this book is way~ longer than I thought it would be,” said Derpy.

“Man?” said Twilight.

“Oh, sorry, slip of the tongue,” said Derpy.

Twilight gently moved closer to her mysterious subject.

“Aren’t you the least bit tired?” said Twilight, “You’ve been up half the night.”

“Nope,” said Derpy.

“Hmmm, I wonder if that’s a side-effect of your predicament,” said Twilight.

“I bet it has something to do with all the coffee I drank,” said Derpy, who by the way thought coffee was supposed to wake you up because it was so bitter, “Sorry for drinking all your coffee, by the way.” And yes, she drank all the decaff too.

Twilight was silent for a long moment.

“...I’m still not discounting the possibility.”

“This girls seems to be in a deep coma,” said a doctor, “Nothing seems to rouse her.”

Derpy was in a hospital gown, lying on a bed. A doctor had been carefully examining her sleeping form. The hospital was clean and drab, as they are oft to be.

“She’s just a very deep sleeper,” said Derpy’s mom, “She’ll get up any time now.”

The doctor gave her a confused look.

“If this is just a ‘deep sleep’, I think we might just have a brand new condition on our hands,” said the doctor.

Watermelody was waiting off to one side, rubbing her feet in an attempt to make them feel better.

“Maybe I can name it,” said the doctor.

Derpy’s mom gave him a disapproving glare.

“Af-after her of course,” said the doctor, “Anyway, I’ll want to keep her here. At least until she wakes up.”

“I’ll do it,” said Derpy.

Twilight scrunched up her face in confusion.

“Do what?” said Twilight.

“I’ll talk to Sunset Shimmer,” said Derpy.

She's Awake.

Derpy awoke in unfamiliar surroundings. She was in a hospital bed. The floor appeared to be very drab linoleum. In front of her a TV was playing some ads for something involving cars. Beside her was a bare night stand. The curtains on the window were drawn closed. Derpy noticed that her clothes had been switched with a hospital gown.

“AAAAA!!!” said Derpy.

“Oh, you’re awake,” said a doctor.

“Oh no! Oh no! I didn’t get horribly injured in my sleep again, did I?” said Derpy, “School starts tomorrow and it’s really important for me to be there!” said Derpy.

The doctor put on a bemused expression.

“You’re perfectly fine… physically,” said the doctor, “Your mom just took you in in order to find some answers to why you have sleeping troubles.”

“Has it really gotten that bad?” said Derpy.

“Pff, I dunno,” said the doctor.

Derpy faced him with an unamused looking stare.

“Anyway, your mother was only letting me keep you here until you woke up,” said the doctor, “but you should really come back here some time.”

“Why?” said Derpy.

“You’re a bit of a medical mystery,” said the doctor, “You’d make some sort of impact if you let someone study you.”

‘Sorry doctor, but right now one pony studying me is enough,’ thought Derpy.

“I maybe might consider it…” said Derpy.

A purple pony princess paced the perimeter of her bedroom. Derpy was nearby sleeping in the guest bed. The princess was trying to figure out a way to wake up a pegasus that was impossible to wake up. There wasn’t actually anything to really go on. She had had confidence in the specific sound theory, but that seemed to be a bust.

“Maybe I should continue with that hypothesis, but I’m not sure I’m not barking up the wrong tree,” said purple pony Princess Twilight Sparkle.

“I could try exposing her eyes to various types of light!” said Twilight Sparkle, “But that wouldn’t be very conducive to test since I’d have to hold her eyes open and that involves an expensive amount of eye drops.”

“Smell is probably actually the most effective sense to bother her into consciousness with,” said Twilight, “but I don’t have a convenient way to produce smells like I do for light or sound.”

“Who are you talking to, Twilight?” said Spike, waking up.

“Oh, um, no one,” said Twilight with a smile.

Watermelody and Derpy’s mom were sitting in the hospital’s waiting room. Derpy’s mom was reading an old magazine while Watermelody had her head thrown back in boredom and her feet on a chair that she dragged over. The area was empty of other people except for a rainbow-haired man who was sitting on the opposite side of the room from them.

“Ugh! I knew I should’ve charged my cellphone today,” said Watermelody.

“Oh quit being such a baby, there are plenty of magazines to read,” said Derpy’s mom.

“Pff, yeah sure,” said Watermelody.

An annoyed looking Derpy walked into the room. She was dressed back in the clothes she had when she had fallen asleep.

“So, um, waking up in a hospital was a bit of a surprise,” said Derpy.

“Yeah, my bad,” said Watermelody, “I convinced your mom here to have you examined.”

“Um. okay?” said Derpy.

“I mean, did you guys seriously not think of doing that before?”

“Um…” said Derpy.

Spike eyed Twilight before rolling his eyes and asking a question.

“So did anything come from the whole ‘sound theory’ thing?” said Spike.

“No Spike, only one frequency really had any effect and that was breaking glass,” said Twilight.

Spike smiled excitedly.

Twilight rolled her eyes.

“Okay Spike, grab one of the beakers that’s already broken,” said Twilight.

Derpy, her mom, and Watermelody made it back to the car. Derpy had just buckled her seatbelt when she remembered she had a question to ask.

“By the way, I need another tur-” said Derpy right before she collapsed into a slumber.

“‘Great’ it happened again,” said Watermelody.

Still though, they drove back to Derpy’s home.

Derpy snapped awake. She was in the library’s bedroom. On the opposite side of the room, Spike and Twilight were hovering over a pile of broken glass.

“Wow, that wasn’t as high pitched as I thought it was going to be though,” said Spike.

“Go get a dust pan, Spike,” said Twilight.

“Fine…” said Spike.

Derpy got out of bed and walked up to them.

“What are you doing?” said Derpy, “‘Cause I think it might’ve woken me up.”

“Aa! Oh you’re awa- wait really? I have got to run a few tests then,” said Twilight.

“Hold it off for a while alright? I still have to talk to Sunset,” said Derpy.

“Oh, right,” said Twilight.

Derpy stared at the broken glass still on the floor. She gestured to it and raised an eyebrow. Twilight stroked the back of her neck.

“Heh, the only thing to come out off the sound experiments,” said Twilight, “Though, if evidence holds true, it might be just what we were looking for.”

Answers Start to Dawn Upon Them.

Derpy was in the halls of her School. She was looking for a certain someone. A certain somePONY. That somepony was walking down the halls on her way to class, Derpy was luckily close by.

“Sunset!” said Derpy, “I need to talk to you!”

Derpy was suddenly pulled at her collar from behind.

“There you are!” said Golden Hazel, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Kerg- Gerk!” said Derpy.

Sunset had managed to get away from her at this point.

“Just because we had a bit of a surprise break, doesn’t mean our assignment isn’t still a thing,” said Golden Hazel.

Derpy pulled at her shirt collar, gasping.

“Heeeeeen!” said Derpy.

“Oh, oops, sorry,” said Golden Hazel as she let go of Derpy’s Shirt.

Derpy then ran off deeper into the hallways.

“Sorry Golden! But I’ve got something way more important to do right now!” said Derpy.

“Get back here you little… you!” said Golden Hazel.

Sunset Shimmer was having a boring time in math class. She had already completed all of the problems on the board and was just waiting for everyone else to finish. To make matters worse, all of the other students were being quite standoffish with her. Some glared daggers, others just tried to be as far away from her as possible. She was surprised she wasn’t expelled yet, especially in spite of the fact that it was obvious no one wanted her around. All of the desks around her were pushed to be as far away from her as the students in them could get, except for the desk behind her which was being used by the kid who usually sat right behind her as a barrier. To be honest, Sunset would do anything just to get out of this class.

And an opportunity presented itself.

“Sunset Shimmer!” said Derpy, “I need to talk to you!”

Sunset didn’t yet make a move to get up.

“It’s about Equestria!” said Derpy, “And its ponies.”

With that Sunset made a frantic dash to the doorway, even almost tripping over at one point. Almost.

“So,” said Sunset Shimmer with a half-lidded glare, “Are you just curious or what?”

“Ugh, I can’t believe I lost track of that little… little… her,” said Golden Hazel.

Golden Hazel was still wandering the school’s halls looking for Derpy. Ordinarily she’d be worried about the fact that she wasn’t in class, but due to her having completed summer school that year she was allowed an empty period.

“If you’re looking for Derpy, I think she said something about having to talk to Sunset Shimmer this morning,” said Watermelody, “I stayed at her place last night, in case you were wondering.”

Watermelody, on the other hand, was just playing hooky because she didn’t like her math teacher. And she guessed that she might have been avoiding Sunset too.

“Shouldn’t you be in class right now?” said Golden Hazel.

“Hey, you’re not the only one who plays hooky,” said Watermelody.

“I keep telling you, I’m not playing hooky!” said Golden Hazel, “I’m just reaping the benefits of Summer School!”

“Yeah, whatever,” said Watermelody, “Just don’t like my math class, I guess.”

Golden Hazel put her hand up to her chin.

“Say, where is your math class, Watermelody?” said Golden Hazel.

Derpy had led Sunset Shimmer a little ways out of the classroom. They were just far away enough that the class wouldn’t hear them unless they didn’t make any sound. Naturally, with Sunset out of the class, all the tension there was gone and all the kids in it were chatting; passing notes; and generally just being rowdy much to the chagrin of their teacher. Though the point of moving was so Sunset and Derpy could have a more focused discussion.

“I’m from your world,” said Derpy, “but I’m also from this world. At least that’s what I think right now.”

“How does that work? Do you have two bodies or something?” said Sunset.

“Yeah, I think so. Princess Twilight Sparkle wanted me to talk to you because you’d be able to help her study me on this side. I want to talk to you because I want reassurance of something,” said Derpy.

“What?” said Sunset Shimmer.

Tears welled up in Derpy’s crossed eyes.

“I- is it… are both worlds really real?” said Derpy, “All my life I thought for sure that one of them was just a dream.”

Sunset hesitated.

“...Which one?” Said Sunset Shimmer.

Derpy looked down and kicked one of her feet. She held her hands behind her back. She sighed.

“Either of them. To be honest both seem impossible…” said Derpy.

“Tell me something about the pony world. About Equestria,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“W-what?” said Derpy.

“Just tell me anything,” said Sunset Shimmer, “about Equestria.”

“Um…” said Derpy, “Donut Joe’s has good doughnuts? Well, the one time I went there anyway…”

Sunset gave a quiet laugh. It wasn’t rude or mean. It wasn’t even all that jovial honestly.

“You’ve convinced me that you’re real on both sides of the mirror,” said Sunset Shimmer.

‘Yeah, but I’m still not so sure I’ve convinced myself yet,’ thought Derpy. She was still crying a little.

Golden Hazel was trudging thru the hallways on a mission to find Derpy. She had Watermelody by the upper arm.

“If Derpy’s supposed to be in some class right now, why are you so insistent on finding her right now?” said Watermelody.

“The same reason I’m dragging you along,” said Golden Hazel, “If you’re going to skip class you should do it for a good reason like practicing ACT…”

“...So you don-” said Watermelody.

“TInG!” said Golden Hazel.

“So you don’t care about the fact we’re playing hooky so much as what our reasons are?” said Watermelody.

“Oh Watermelody,” said Golden Hazel as she patted her on the head, “I’m a true born thespian, as a pretender I wouldn’t expect you to truly understand it.”

“Yeah, a true born thespian. It’s a pity that the birth had so many defects,” said Watermelody.

“Grr, one day…” said Golden Hazel.

“One day what?” said Watermelody.

“One day I’ll- I’ll… shut up!” said Golden Hazel.

“Pfft, somehow I doubt that,” said Watermelody.

Now, the two had still been walking during the entire conversation. Golden Hazel had turned around to better glare at Watermelody however, so she didn’t notice as she bumped into someone.

Sunset Shimmer gave her a death glare. If looks could kill this look would kill all the other looks so it wouldn’t have competition in the field of killing with a look. The look instilled fear into Golden Hazel in any case.

Golden Hazel let out a high pitched “Sree,” that was surprisingly quiet.

You could tell just by looking at Sunset’s face that a plan of sorts was forming in her brain, though you’d probably mistake it for an evil plan instead of seeing that it was really more of a morally neutral one.

“You said you mistook each world for dreams,” said Sunset Shimmer, “I take it that means only one body is awake at a time.”

“P-pretty much…” said Derpy.

“Is there any delay between when one body falls asleep and the other body wakes up?” said Sunset Shimmer.

Derpy knit her brows in confusion.

“Not any that I know of, why?” said Derpy.

A diabolical looking smile spread across Sunset’s face. Derpy seemed to be sweating just a little.

“Because,” said Sunset Shimmer, “if there’s any delay at all, even just a second, we might be able to wake both bodies up at the same time.”

“Why would you want to do that?” said Derpy.

“Right now,” said Sunset Shimmer, “it’s mainly to make communication between the worlds easier, but eventually we might be able to exploit your unique trait to build a ga-”

Golden Hazel walked backwards into Sunset Shimmer. Sunset gave her a deadly glare.

“Sree,” said Golden Hazel.

Watermelody had decided to start walking backwards herself, but in the opposite direction.

“You’re screwed, Golden Hazel!” said Watermelody as she turned the corner, still backwards.

Golden Hazel grabbed onto Derpy at the upper arm and started running as fast as she could. Derpy had trouble keeping up and at one point she was literally being dragged, but managed to find her footing fairly quickly after that.

“Uh, see you later, Sunset!” said Derpy.

Sunset didn’t respond, but she did look annoyed at them and gave off a foreboding aura.

“Why are you trying to talk with that monster, Derpy?” said Golden Hazel.

“I wanted answers,” said Derpy in a mumble.

“A lot do from her, I’ll bet,” said Golden Hazel.

‘Not the same ones I was looking for,’ thought Derpy.

Author's Note

I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but... whatever.

The Somewhat Okay Journey.

Princess Twilight Sparkle sat in front of Derpy as she listened to what Sunset Shimmer had said.

“That would involve her being able to wake you up too though,” said Twilight.

“Maybe if the glass-breaker sound works I can try to tell her to look for sounds that break glass?” said Derpy.

“That could work, I guess,” said Twilight, “but I still have to actually test the spell.”

Sunset Shimmer paced around an empty room late at night. She thought of what needed to be done. She thought about the rare opportunity presented to her. She thought of home.

“If I need to wake her up, I should invest in smelling salts,” said Sunset Shimmer, “and some sleeping pills to put her to sleep.”

Sunset paused, realizing what she had just said.

“I mean make her fall asleep,” said Sunset, satisfied that she wasn’t trying to do harm, “If I need to.”

Another day had started in the world of humans. Derpy had decided to search for Sunset Shimmer, but as it was a weekend that mostly amounted to fruitless searching around town. She had checked the coffee and sweets shop, and asked Pinkie Pie if she had seen her. She hadn’t. She walked to the local pawn shop, but all that happened there was her somehow exiting with a weird contraption that looked like some kind of salad bowl with wires hanging off of it.

‘Why did I buy this?’ thought Derpy.

Derpy thought she saw a lead when she spotted Sunset’s cronies Snips and Snails. The two of them were rummaging thru a garbage can for some reason.

“Hey… you two!” said Derpy.

Snips and Snails turned their heads to face Derpy.

“Do you guys know where Sunset is right now?” said Derpy, “You work for her, I think.”

Snips’s eyes diverged and he spaced out as he looked into Derpy’s crosseyed gaze. Derpy wore an expression of annoyance. Snips then shook his head and returned to his usual state.

“Ahem,” said Derpy, “Again, whe-”

“What’s wrong with your face?” said Snips.

“What?” said Derpy, shocked. Generally people avoid mentioning her condition.

“Is it hard to see with your eyes like that?” said Snails.

“Yeah! Is it?” said Snips.

“Er… I gue- that’s not important right now, do you two know where Sunset is?” said Derpy.

“No,” said Snips.

“She just told us to find all the soda cans we can, so we are!” said Snails.

“Why?” said Derpy.

Snips and Snails stopped their rummaging and looked at each other. They turned to Derpy and Shrugged.

“Uh, thanks anyway… I think,” said Derpy right before she left them to do what they were doing.

‘What does Sunset need with soda cans?’ thought Derpy.

“What do you mean you don’t carry smelling salts?” said Sunset angrily to a cashier.

Sunset was in a Drugstore. The building was small and there was little room to walk around in. Every wall was covered with full shelves displaying product.

“It’s just something we’ve never stocked, you have to order from a specialty store if you want to get any o’ that stuff ‘round here,” said the cashier.

“Ugh!” said Suset right before she exited the store.

Sunset took a moment to stretch before walking home and coming up with a different way to get smelling salts. She stretched her arms outwards, hands balled into fists, and raised her arms to the sky.

“Ouch!” said someone who was hit in the jaw by this action.

‘Mom said to buy some aspirin,’ thought Derpy. Since she was going out already her mom had asked her to buy some and gave her some money for it, ‘I hope I have enough left over after buying that electric salad bowl thing.’

Derpy made her way to the drugstore and was very surprised when she was struck in the jaw right outside of it.

“Ouch!” said Derpy.

“Derpy?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Yeah, that’s me, don’t wear it out,” said Derpy.

“I… don’t think that’s quite how that saying goes,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Sorry, my brain’s a little rattled,” said Derpy.

Sunset brought a hand up to her face.

“Oh right, um, sorry?” said Sunset Shimmer, “That’s what I’m supposed to say, right?”

Derpy rubbed her jaw and tried to roll it back into place even though nothing was really out of place.

“Er, yeah,” said Derpy, she then remembered what Snips and Snails had been doing, “Hey, by the way. What do you need soda cans for?”

“I need metal to build a rudimentary device to monitor your brain when you sleep,” said Sunset Shimmer, “Any will do, I told them to get soda cans because those idiots work better with something to focus on. That and they’re a bit easier to reshape. I also need a way to attach it to your head. Originally I was just going to use an old salad bowl and some jumper cables, but that thing will do nicely.”

Sunset was pointing to the contraption Derpy had been swindled into buying from the pawn shop. Derpy suddenly realized that it looked an awful lot like the helmet part of Twilight’s machine.

“Uh, okay,” said Derpy.

“Great, we’ll meet at your house tonight and the next night,” said Sunset, “Tonight to set up the machine there and tomorrow night to ensure we get data.”

“Why can’t we meet at your place?” said Derpy.

Sunset became silent, she looked over to the street and sighed. She turned back to face Derpy.

“Trust me,” said Sunset Shimmer, “your place is better for this.”

And with that, Sunset walked away. Derpy stood there silent for a moment.

‘Guess I’d better go buy that aspirin now,’ thought Derpy, ‘Wait… does she even know where my house is?’

Derpy looked around saw no sign of Sunset Shimmer.

‘Oh well,’ thought Derpy, ‘Great, and now I really do have to take this thing home,’ referring to the item bought from the pawn shop.

Nonsense Tech.

Derpy was relaxing at home, she was just about to eat a turkey sandwich. The doorbell rang. Derpy’s mom answered the door.

“Another guest so soon?” said Derpy’s mom, “Derpy! It seems like your amount of friends is growing.”

Derpy put down the sandwich and walked to the front hall.

“Actually, miss, we were hoping to stay the night,” said Sunset. Apparently she really did know where Derpy lived.

There was another person with her, a purple boy wearing taped up glasses and suspenders. He had an atom symbol over one of the straps.

“I don’t know,” said Derpy’s mom, “you do have a boy with you.”

“Don’t worry ma’am, Atom here’s too weak to try anything,” said Sunset Shimmer.

Atom, as he seemed to be called, didn’t seem too pleased that he was being called weak. He didn’t retaliate in any way though.

“Well, I suppose it’s alright,” said Derpy’s mother.

Derpy had led the two visitors into her room. Atom began setting up some sort of frame made of old soda cans.

“Where’s that thing you had yesterday,” said Sunset, “Nevermind, I found it.”

She picked up the object sitting in the corner of Derpy’s room and carried it over to the other corner where Atom was setting up.

“Um… who’s that guy?” said Derpy pointing at Atom.

“Oh?” said Atom, “I’m Atomic Adam. You can call me ‘Atom’ for short.”

“...Why?” said Derpy.

“It’s cooler that way,” said Atom.

“How come you’re helping Sunset Shimmer?” said Derpy.

“I admit that I was reluctant at first to help the she-demon, the prospect of making first contact with an alien species was too great to pass up,” said Atom

“Okay,” said Derpy.

“As for why I need his help,” said Sunset, “I’m not yet completely familiar with how the physics of this world operate and some things that would work on my world might not on this one.”

“Huh,” said Derpy.

“And Done,” said Atom.

The contraption looked like a bunch of broken soda cans stuck together, except for the part that Derpy had bought from the pawn shop which stuck out from the rest of the machine like a sore thumb.

“So how does it work when it’s made of soda cans?” said Derpy.

“The cans are really more just there to hold all the wiring,” said Atom.

“They’re just cans because we have no budget,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“I had to sacrifice a laptop to make this thing,” said Atom.

“Don’t worry, he has several,” said Sunset when she saw Derpy’s look of concern, “Now, since we finished setting up the machine way sooner than expected, we just have to wait for you to fall asleep and hook it up to you.”

Derpy remembered something.

“Hey! maybe you don’t have to wait!” said Derpy.

“Hm?” said Sunset Shimmer, raising an eyebrow.

“I was just about to test to see if eating this would make me fall asleep,” said Derpy holding out the turkey sandwich before eating it.

“A turkey sandwich?” said Sunset Shimmer with skepticism.

“Wouldn’t it make more sense to use sleeping pills or something?” said Atom.

Derpy promptly fell asleep at the moment she completed her sandwich.

“Dang it,” said Sunset Shimmer, “I wasn’t quite done talking to her.”

Twilight Sparkle was sitting at the foot of her guest bed reading a book. To her left was a tall pile of books, some of which related to the guest sleeping in the bed while others were there for when she would take breaks from her studying.

She was reading a book about the history of eye-glasses when she heard a bed creaking.

Derpy woke up. She blearily looked about the place until she spotted Princess Twilight. A big smile crossed her face.

“Twilight, two things,” said Derpy, “Sunset’s setting something up at my house in the human world, and I found a way to make me instantly fall asleep.”

“That’s great, Derpy,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“I can only really get it in the human world though,” said Derpy.

Twilight pondered for a bit before speaking again.

“That’s a shame. I thought we could set up a rudimentary message system between the worlds,” said Twilight Sparkle, “but that can’t really happen if we can only reliably make you wake up in this world.”

Twilight’s head snapped up as if she had just remembered something really important.

“By the way, Derpy…” said Twilight Sparkle, “I think I should show you how the glass-breaking spell sounds, it would probably help you on the human side.”

Sunset Shimmer looked at the display again. Something was obviously bothering her, her brows were furrowed, her mouth stretched in a grimace, and her hands grasping at either side of the display; crushing two of the cans.

Everything the readings showed were simply awful and discouraging; everything the readings showed read that everything about Derpy was perfectly normal for a sleeping teenager.

‘Could she really be crazy thinking she’s a pegasus when she sleeps?’ thought Sunset Shimmer, 'No, that seems too unlikely to me.’

Sunset made a motion as if to throw the machine on the ground, but luckily it was heavy enough that it stayed in place.

Sunset walked over to Atom, who was messing around on his phone’s web browser, and the sleeping Derpy in her bed next to him.

“You said you had some smelling salts,” said Sunset Shimmer, “I think you should use them now.”

Broken glass littered the floor; pools of red liquid seeped into the wooden boards. It was an absolute mess in the library. Twilight Sparkle looked over the mess, distraught. Tears dropped to the ground like rain.

"I was saving that for later," said Spike, crying.

"Spike, you shouldn't hide things like this," said Twilight Sparkle.

"This is a dramatic for a broken glass of tomato juice," said Derpy.

"It was really good tomato juice," said Spike.

"I'm going to have to cast the spell again," said Twilight Sparkle, "listen carefully, Derpy."

Twilight Sparkle's horn lit up and the spell was cast. The sound produced was not very high pitched, but was rather a low rumbling noise. It was surprisingly quiet. Then it gradually raised in pitch and volume then abruptly stopped.

“Huh,” said Derpy, “Not sure I can describe that.”

“You’ll have to try,” said Twilight Sparkle.

Sunset Shimmer was kneeling at Derpy’s bedside, waving smelling salt in front of her. She was swishing it back and forth as quickly as she could as if doing that would make it work better.

“Why aren’t you waking up?” said Sunset Shimmer, screaming at the top of her lungs.

She held the smelling salts to Derpy, her hands shaking as much as the could get away with.

“Hey, easy now!” said Atom as he took the smelling salts from Sunset and put them away, “Exposing her to this for too long could be harmful.”

Sunset’s head smacked into Derpy’s gut, she slammed her fist down hard right in front of herself.

“Is this girl in a coma or something?” said Sunset Shimmer, voice muffled.

“It certainly seems that way,” said Atom.

It was hours before Derpy woke up in the human world again. It was noontime, the next day. She woke up to what was probably the most horrifying thing she had ever seen in her life. Sunset Shimmer was glaring at her just half an inch away from her face.
Derpy jolted up quickly.

“Ow!” said Derpy.

“Son of a…” said Sunset Shimmer, her head back and hands to her face.

Derpy had caused her and Sunset’s foreheads to collide. Atom snickered slightly when that happened.

“Blerg, why does my tummy hurt too?” said Derpy.

“Wow, Sunset, you hit her hard,” said Atom.

“Shut up,” said Sunset Shimmer, still rubbing her forehead. She turned her attention back to Derpy.

“You slept thru everything we did to try and wake you up. Including the bucket of water, the maximum volume radio put right up against your ear, and the smelling salts,” said Sunset Shimmer, “When we told your mom that you were still asleep after that onslaught she said that it was ‘normal for you.’”

“Yeah,” said Derpy, “I’m a deep sleeper.”

Sunset’s left eye twitched, her lips tried to move into a scowl, and she shook all over.

“Yes… I see… that,” said Sunset.

“Is there anything that can wake you up?” said Atom.

“There is one thing,” said Derpy.

Sunset perked up when she heard that. She was still shaking and she didn’t smile, but she let herself gain just the smallest glimmer of hope.

“WHAT IS IT?!” said Sunset Shimmer as calmly as she could.

“There’s this sound…” said Derpy.

Author's Note

Atomic Adam is also a background human, I shortened that name 'cause I felt it flowed better that way somehow. Anyways, he's the purple guy with glasses and suspenders.

Wake-Up Call

Silence permeated in Derpy’s room. It was an awkward silence. Atom was kind of just standing and waiting to one side while Sunset held her intense gaze on Derpy.
Finally, the silence was broken.

“Well?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“What?” said Derpy.

“The sound!” said Sunset Shimmer, “The one that can wake you up!”

“What about it?” said Derpy.

“What does it sound like?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Oh, right,” said Derpy. She tried her best to remember what exactly it did sound like.

“Ooooooooooooooommmmmeeee-” said Derpy doing her best to imitate the noise, including how abrupt the stop felt and the dynamics of what she had heard, “Also, it breaks glass.”

Atom adjusted his glasses.

“Well… judging by how my glasses still remain intact, I’m going to say that that’s not exactly the noise we’re looking for,” said Atom.

Sunset Shimmer gave him an unimpressed look. She was going to point out the obviousness, but decided not to dignify his statement.

“It’s a start,” said Sunset.

One month later:

Sunset Shimmer had visited Derpy every night playing recordings of sounds after sounds as she she slept. Derpy’s mom had be suspicious about the locked door, but decided to leave the issue alone. Sure the massive lack of sleep had hit her hard during the school day, often resulting in her falling asleep in class and such, but it was about to pay off.

Sunset Shimmer had set up list number sixty-six of sounds and when that list got to sound UA (she had separated the sounds by sets of letters) something happened.

Derpy woke up.

Derpy was flying around the library. She had been stretching out her body after being cooped up inside the building for a long time. After a while she was satisfied with it and glided back down to the ground. Princess Twilight Sparkle was there to greet her.

“So,” said Twilight Sparkle, “Has Sunset been making any progress recreating the wake-up noise on her side?”

“Well things have been stead-” said Derpy right before she collapsed.

“I really hope that’s a good sign,” said Twilight Sparkle, nervously.

Derpy was bleary eyed and didn’t feel like getting up, though she was awake. She tossed and turned, rolled over onto her front, until she finally sat up as she scooted to rest her back on the headboard.

Derpy mumbled something unintelligible.

“It worked!” said Sunset Shimmer, huge smile across her face.

“It worked!” said Sunset Shimmer as she hugged Atom, who just stood there frozen and confused.

“It worked!” said Sunset Shimmer as she squeezed the breath out of Derpy.

“It! Worked!” said Sunset Shimmer in the middle of the room with her fists raised up in the air in celebration as she jumped a little.

“I see someone’s excited,” said Derpy.

Sunset’s face grew red. She stopped all that nonsense and coughed to compose herself. She brushed off the lower half of the front of her jacket.

“Ahem,” said Sunset Shimmer, “Now that we have achieved this step, I have some questions to facilitate the next step. What time do you fall asleep here and what time do you wake up on the other side?”

“I’m not sure,” said Derpy.

“Then let’s find out,” said Sunset Shimmer, “Atom, be sure to make a note of the time.”

Derpy had eaten a turkey sandwich on the human side and thus woke up on the pony side.
Princess Twilight Sparkle was drawing up scenarios for practical applications for advanced spells, she had been bored with nothing better to do at the moment.

“Twilight,” said Derpy.

“Gah!” said Twilight Sparkle as she dropped her quill, “Oh good, you’re awake. Does this mean you recreated the sound on the other side?”

“Yes, they told me to ask you something,” said Derpy.

“What?” said Twilight Sparkle.

“What time is it?”

Atom and Sunset were both writing down records for the day, making sure to list what sound was the one that woke Derpy up. Luckily there had been no glass in the room; the screen on the machine was plastic. Sunset pondered upon something.

‘Considering what makes her sleep, we’ll probably have to wake her up after waiting a few minutes...’ thought Sunset Shimmer.

“What should we do with all this science stuff?” said Atom.

Sunset turned around to face him.

“I guess we don’t really need it at this point, but I don’t think there’s any reason to remove it either,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Sure, I guess,” said Atom.

“It’s 4:34 a.m., why?” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Sunset Shimmer wanted me to let her know what time it was here when I woke up so she can compare it to what time I fell asleep over there,” said Derpy.

“Oh. It’s a pity we don’t have a way to make you fall asleep here then,” said Twilight Sparkle, “Because it’d probably be good for her to get her answer as soon as possible.”

“Yup,” said Derpy.

There was a long silence.

“So… read any good books recently?” said Twilight Sparkle.

“... I’ve read books recently,” said Derpy.

Silence once again filled the room.

Derpy coughed.

Twilight shuffled a bit and ruffled her feathers.

Derpy did her best to scratch a wing itch.

Twilight took in a long breath then let it go.

“Do you think my eyes being crossed has anything to do with my ‘unique situation’?” said Derpy.

Twilight shrugged.

Things went on like this for a while.

“I can’t take it anymore!” said Sunset Shimmer, eyes as wide as her face would allow, “I’m waking her up now!”

Sunset Shimmer played the recording of the noise, having to retry hitting the play button a few times due to being a bit overeager.

“I’m glad I remembered to stop wearing my glasses when I come over here,” said Atom, “Still not used to contacts though.”

Derpy shot up speedily. Unfortunately for Sunset, she had positioned herself over Derpy again; having forgotten what had happened last time.

“Ow!” said both Sunset Shimmer and Derpy.

They had collided at the foreheads. Sunset turned around and squat down, rubbing at her forehead to ease the pain.

“So… what time was it you woke up over… there?” said Sunset Shimmer, still rubbing at her forehead.

“Um… 4:34 a.m., I think,” said Derpy.

“You fell asleep at around…” said Sunset right before she gently bit a finger, “7:30 p.m.”

“Man, this has been really playing havoc with my sleeping schedule,” said Derpy in a whisper to herself.

Sunset got up, her head apparently feeling better.

“Tomorrow we’re going to try something odd,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Oh?” said Derpy.

“Tell Twilight to prepare to wake you up,” said Sunset Shimmer, “At the same time as we do it.”

Eager.

Derpy was anxious for what awaited her come nightfall, but there was still a day ahead of her before that would be able to happen.

The room she was in was dark, but the front of it had been made quite bright. Students sat at tables as they watched others perform up front.

“To me the wind falls down onto the ground. Yet not the hope of younger men be found,” said Watermelody as she said the final part of her group’s excerpt.

“Very good,” said the teacher, “Next group!”

Derpy, Watermelody, and Golden Hazel sat down at their table. Derpy had been sweating the entire time, partially due to nervousness; but she was also really heated. Watermelody reached into her bag and grabbed a water-bottle from it and drank. Golden Hazel put her hands behind her head while she smiled smugly. She would’ve put her feet upon the table, but she really didn’t want to get in trouble.

“Ha Ha Ha!” said Watermelody, “I’m glad we didn’t get that one, I’d laugh so hard that I’d never be able to perform it!”

“Ha! A true thespian can keep a straight face thru any performance, be it their own or another’s. They can laugh at that which is not jest as well as they can cry at true tragedy…” said Golden Hazel.

“Dang-ammit, I got her going again,” said Watermelody, talking over Golden Hazel’s speech.

“...Night nor Knight can be misunderstood, lest we make it so! Over fire and thru the snow, they…” said Golden Hazel.

“What so funny about a character wanting to end it all?” said Derpy, who was also ignoring Golden Hazel.

“Ehh, you’re not really getting the context, Derpy,” said Watermelody.

“...One does not! Simply walk into their role, but become it! Though one might imply walk it thou art to play such a beast, my father once told me…” said Golden Hazel.

“If you say so,” said Derpy.

“-mango,” said Golden Hazel, “My father, though a very wise man, was a bit over obsessed with the fruits.”

Watermelody gave her an odd look, but Derpy continued not to pay her any attention.

Derpy sighed.

‘This can’t be over soon enough,’ thought Derpy.

Soon lunchtime arrived for Derpy, She immediately tried to find Sunset Shimmer and converse with her. Unbeknownst to Derpy, Watermelody was following her a silently as she could muster.

THUMP!

Watermelody tripped over a stray bucket that the janitor probably left out or something. She released a long breath and slowly got up.

“Aw knuckle-sandwich,” said Watermelody under her breath.

She had lost sight of Derpy.

Derpy could forgo the lunch line as she had opted to bring a box lunch that day. Derpy scanned all the tables in the cafeteria, looking for any sign of the red and yellow devil: Sunset Shimmer. She spotted her sitting in a surprisingly empty area, to her surprise she could see a pink girl sitting with her.
Derpy approached their table.

“-and that’s why I’m not allowed to go into the pet store anymore!” said the pink girl.

“Why are you telling me this, Pinkie Pie?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“There’s a very important lesson in it for you,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Feh, this may be my fault somehow,” said Sunset Shimmer, grumbling to herself.

“Is this a bad time, Sunset?” said Derpy.

Pinkie’s eyes went wide as something really wide. She gasped in shock.

“Sunset made a friend on her own?!” said Pinkie Pie.

“Not really…” said Sunset Shimmer under her breath, “Go ahead and sit down, Derpy.”

Derpy sat across from Sunset. She set her box down slightly to her right.

“What’s with that box?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Yeah! That is a really funky looking box,” said Pinkie Pie.

Derpy rubbed the back of her head.

“Heh heh, this is the only container I had,” said Derpy.

It’s dimensions could be described as the width of two cereal boxes put together (the short sides next to each other, not touching face to face), but with the top half cut off.

“You know, when people say to bring ‘a box lunch’ this generally isn’t what they mean,” said Pinkie Pie.

“O… kay,” said Derpy, “Say, what happened to the rest of you guys?”

“What do you mean?” said Pinkie Pie.

Sunset Shimmer chose that point to lie her head down on the table.

“I’ven’t been seeing you, Pinkie, without your friends Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity with you also for a while recently,” said Derpy.

“Oh that, Applejack and Rainbow Dash decided to settle some sort of something and Rarity’s her friend Norman advice for male fashions,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Ah, okay,” said Derpy, “Wait… what about Fluttershy, the eco-girl?”

“I- I’m right here…” said Fluttershy, her voice barely a whisper.

“GAH!” said Derpy, “Oh man, I didn’t notice you there.”

“I’m sorry,” said Fluttershy, Derpy and many others always had to struggle to hear her when she spoke to them.

“Um… you don’t have to be,” said Derpy, “You do know that, right?”

“Oh, sorry,” said Fluttershy, her eyes flew open as she realized what she had just said, ”Oh no, I did it again. I’m so-”

Both Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie shoved their respective hands over Fluttershy’s mouth.

“We don’t want her to get stuck apologizing for being sorry again!” ineffectively whispered Pinkie Pie.

“That was the worst day of my life thus far,” said Sunset Shimmer, “But to be fair, part of that has to do with a cake exploding in my face.”

“I still consider that experiment a success!” said Pinkie Pie.

“Only because I didn’t like the type of cake anyway, Pinkie,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Well since it exploded, you didn’t have to eat it!” said Pinkie Pie.

“Is she supposed to be turning blue?” said Derpy.

Sunset and Pinkie both snapped their attention to Fluttershy.

“Uh oh,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Oopsss…” said Sunset Shimmer.

As they said that, they took their hands off the very recently blueish Fluttershy.

“I’m sorry,” said Fluttershy after she caught her breath.

“Fluttershy! You don’t have to apologize for almost-” said Pinkie Pie.

“Just let her have this one!” said Sunset Shimmer, a bit panicked.

Fluttershy went back to what she had been doing before Derpy’s arrival: poking her salad and maybe also eating it perhaps.

The other two turned their gazes towards Derpy.

Derpy looked back and forth between them, though they couldn’t really tell what with the eyes and all. She leaned in towards Sunset, one hand cupping her mouth for a whisper and the other resting upon the table so she could balance.

“Um… should I wait to talk to you about the thing?” said Derpy.

Sunset Shimmer pondered a bit, looking at the other two on her side of the table.

“I think these guys are familiar enough with the other world that there won’t be too much of a ruckus or anything, Besides,” said Sunset Shimmer, attention then shifted to Pinkie Pie, “We’re… friends, right?”

Watermelody searched the lunch room for any sign of that cross-eyed girl she knew. She scanned the room like at least three or so times before she found her target, but oh her target she did find.To her surprise, Derpy was also in the company of three other girls. Watermelody slid on up to their table and gathered information in the most reliable of spyly methods.

“What are you guys doing?” said Watermelody right around the time she tripped, catching herself by loudly slamming her hand upon the table.

“Ow, my hand,” said Watermelody.

“To what do we owe the pleasure…” said Sunset Shimmer, realizing that she didn’t actually know Watermelody’s name.

She decided to try to call her by name anyways.

“... Drama Notes?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“That’s not it, but you’re close,” said Watermelody.

“She was?” said Derpy, confused.

“The name’s W to the A to the T, several other letters, Wa- Ter- Mel -O- Dy!” said Watermelody

“That’s seriously your name?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Oh like what you came up with is any better,” said Watermelody, “As for why I’m here, I’m spying on my good friend, uh…, Derpy!”

“Wow! You’re the worst spy ever!” said Pinkie Pie.

“Thanks, my mother always said that I was naturally gifted that way,” said Watermelody, “Or was it that she was naturally gifted that I was that way…?”

“You’re welcome,” said Pinkie Pie.

“I- I’m not sure that’s really the correct time to say that…” said Fluttershy, whispering more or less to herself.

Derpy’s head jumped up then abruptly swooshed over to face Watermelody, doing her best to show her attention was now on her.

“Wait, why would you want to spy on me?” said Derpy.

“Heh, everyone knows that you’ve been hanging around a suspicious individual,” said Watermelody, “I want to know why!”

Derpy looked at Sunset Shimmer in a gesture searching for help. Sunset mouthed ‘She’s not in the know.’ to her, but Derpy couldn’t read lips so that didn’t really amount to much. Still, Derpy did keep mum on the ‘two worlds, one mind’ situation she was in when near Watermelody out of her own fear that something vaguely bad could happen.

“So what are you going to tell us, Sunset?” said Pinkie Pie.

Sunset looked up and slightly glared at Watermelody.

“I don’t feel comfortable talking about it with her around,” said Sunset Shimmer, who pointed at Watermelody with her head as she said the word ‘her’.

“Did you wet yourself?,” said Pinkie Pie, “Hey Everyone! Sunset’s emb- mmmblfmmf!”

“No, don’t you ever dare insinuate that ever again,” said Sunset Shimmer, who had quickly shoved her hand over Pinkie’s talk hole.

“You should really put your metaphorical filter on a bit more often, Pinkie,” said Fluttershy.

“Okay!” said Pinkie Pie, Sunset’s hand removed from her due to leaning her head back a bit, “As soon as I find out what that means.”

“So! Y’all’re keeping secrets, huh?” said Watermelody, “Secrets so secret that not even all of the secret keepers are in on the secret.”

“Sure seems that way to me,” said Pinkie Pie with a bit of a shrug.

Sunset paused and looked at Watermelody for a bit. Eventually she sighed and relented. She put her hands out, fingers spread like claws and hands brought close to her shoulders though not in a way that looked particularly malicious.

“Listen,” said Sunset Shimmer, “When we go over what’s been happening with Derpy and me, I don’t want you making noise. Come to think of it, Fluttershy, please cover Pinkie Pie’s mouth for the remainder of this conversation.”

Fluttershy was reluctant, but she did in fact do what Sunset asked of her.

“Derpy?” said Sunset Shimmer, attempting to get Derpy to explain things as she was pretty central to what was going on.

Princess Twilight Sparkle was studying Derpy as she slept. Twilight knew that the mare showed no signs of any abnormality that could be detected by any of the machines currently at her disposal, but she had a strong gut feeling that if given some substance to measure; the mare would appear quite different when compared to the average amount.

Unfortunately, Twilight did not know of any way she could make a new device to detect an unknown factor. So most of what she did regarding her problem amounted to, well, poking Derpy a whole lot. It was lucky for them that Derpy was such a deep sleeper, because if Twilight had agitated near anypony else like she was Derpy, it would have come off as quite rude.

Twilight was repeatedly hooking Derpy up to machines and hoping that what showed up as ‘normal’ before would change to be ‘abnormal’. She also experimented with using two or more measuring devices at once, this often required her to relocate Derpy’s slumbering body.

Twilight Sparkle had been very eager the night she was supposed to attempt waking Derpy up on her side at the same time as Sunset would try to on her side. It was an attempt to get both bodies to awaken simultaneously.

Princess Twilight Sparkle was really hoping, really hoping, that it would be a success.

Derpy cleared her throat.

“So,” said Derpy, “you remember Twilight Sparkle, right?”

“Sure,” said Watermelody, “Probably... Who?”

“The girl who won the last ‘Fall Formal’,” said Sunset Shimmer, “And do you remember when she grew wings?”

Watermelody brought her hand up to her chin and tapped her index finger a bit.

“Yeah!” said Watermelody, “Boy, that was weird.”

“It turns out Twilight was an alien pony princess from another universe who came here to retrieve a crown that was actually a super important mystical artifact that’s part of one of her realm’s greatest defenses from Sunny over here who stole it because she was jealous and wanted to take over Twilight’s planet, which Sunny is also actually from, by brainwashing a roomful of teenagers in a ploy allegedly designed to install her as the new head princess of Equestria, but Twilight was able to thwart her plans with the help of your’s truly; her friends; and the fact that the crown was loyal to its owner and not its bearer, in the end Princess Twilight Sparkle returned home while Sunny stayed here to learn about friendship and recently she’s made friends with Derpy there all by herself!” said Pinkie Pie in one breath, squeezing Sunset’s cheek when she mentioned Derpy.

Fluttershy had failed to really cover Pinkie’s pie hole.

“Don’t call me ‘Sunny’,” said Sunset Shimmer, giving her high-powered death glare to Pinkie Pie and saying the words in a way that made it clear to her that that wasn’t the only thing she didn’t like about what Pinkie said.

Well, clear if it hadn’t been for her being Pinkie Pie.

“That’s not really the point anyway,” said Sunset Shimmer as she forced Pinkie’s hand off of her face, “Please continue, Derpy.”

“Ahem, I live in two worlds,” said Derpy.

“Wow, so do you have; like; a spaceship or; like; a magic portal?” said Watermelody.

“No, do you remember when I told you that I wasn’t sure you existed?” said Derpy.

“What? You what? I don’t remember anything like that, and frankly I’m insulted that you doubt I exist,” said Watermelody.

“You’re missing the point,” said Derpy, “Besides, I’m pretty sure you exist, now,” said Derpy.

“As you should,” said Watermelody.

“I remember that you told me that what I was talking about didn’t matter,” said Derpy.

“That does kind of sound like me,” said Watermelody.

“... You told me that reality’s just more real, but this place isn’t any more real than the other place. I literally have two bodies, when one is asleep the other’s awake. Recently, with some help from Sunset, I’ve been able to make this body wake up or fall asleep. With Twilight’s help I was able to make the other body wake up, though not fall asleep.
Tonight we plan on trying to wake both bodies up at the same time,” said Derpy.

“Oh, well that’s boring,” said Watermelody.

“What? But it i-” said Pinkie Pie.

“What?! But we’re making contact with an alien species!” said Atom, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

Everyone but Sunset Shimmer jumped in shock at his appearance.

“You know, you’re sort of making contact with an alien whenever you talk to me, right?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“This is different though, these people aren’t displaced from their home,” said Atom.

“Yeah…” said Sunset Shimmer, who looked down and off to the side at that point.

“What’s with Tape Glasses over here?” said Watermelody.

“Actually, I’m Atomic Adam. Tape Glasses is the guy over there playing chess with one of the athletes,” said Atom.

“What’s with Atomic over here?” said Watermelody

“He helps Sunset run the machinery that she doesn’t fully understand,” said Derpy.

“Ah,” said Watermelody.

“We’re straying off topic, why are saying this is something boring?” said Atom.

“It doesn’t really help ME see another planet or alien location, now does it?” said Watermelody.

“Actually, a portal is the ultimate goal of our little project is to make a constant portal between this world and the other,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Cool! When does that happen?” said Watermelody.

“By our estimations, it won’t happen until the time of ‘not very soon from now’,” said Sunset Shimmer.

Watermelody smiled a bit smugly to herself.

“Be sure to tell me first when you finish that kickin’ intradimensional portal,” said Watermelody.

“She’ll tell you second,” said Atom.

Sunset Shimmer cleared her throat to bring attention to herself.

“Now that we’re done aggravating one another, let’s listen to what Derpy has to say,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“I kind of already said it,” said Derpy.

“Really? I wasn’t really paying attention, but you didn’t really say much,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Not much to say, I guess,” said Derpy.

“Wait!” said Pinkie Pie, “You mean you’re going to make a portal to Twilight’s world that’s open at all times?”

“That’s what we ultimately hope to accomplish,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Oh that makes me so happy, I could just hug your face!” said Pinkie Pie.

She made a valiant attempt, but she ended up hugging Sunset’s entire head rather than just her face.

“Mrmph,” said Sunset Shimmer, wearing a disgruntled face unseen by all.

‘The night can’t come soon enough,’ thought Derpy.

Soon enough, the night came. Derpy was told to tell Twilight Sparkle ready herself. It was decided that when Pony Derpy fell asleep, they would wait just a little bit. Then both sides would try to play the ‘wake-up’ noise simultaneously. Princess Twilight Sparkle played the noise at 6:35 a.m. while Sunset Shimmer played the noise at 9:32 p.m., for it seemed like the two worlds might not have been totally synced up timewise. From what they could tell, Derpy’s other body didn’t seem to immediately wake up when the waking body fell asleep.

After both sides had played to her, Derpy’s bodies both woke up.

“Did it work?” said Princess Twilight Sparkle to Derpy’s pony body.

“So, was the experiment successful?” said Sunset Shimmer to Derpy’s human body.

Both bodies screamed in agony.

Author's Note

Please read on...

Bad Things Don’t Happen.

Author's Note

Everything'll be fine, I promise.

Bad Things Don’t Happen.

Princess Twilight Sparkle did not like what was happening, not one bit.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” said Twilight Sparkle.

She heard Derpy’s wretched screaming only intensify as she heard each word Twilight say.

“The subject is suffering harshly,” said Sunset Shimmer as she gazed over Derpy’s quivering form, “She may be suffering from overstimulation due not being used to being conscious in both bodies at once.”

“This is all my fault man, all my fault,” said Atom as he sat on the floor, knees brought close to shoulders.

Sunset only rolled her eyes at his behavior and turned her attention back to the girl who seemed to be suffering from an intense pain.

Though Twilight did not hear Sunset’s guess as to what was causing Derpy such agony, her first instinct was to cast a spell that cut Derpy the pony from all sensation.

The bodies stopped their screaming.

Derpy the human got up, still shivering.

“Am I dead?” said Derpy, “You know… over there.”

“From what I heard, it would’ve had to be a mercy killing,” said Sunset Shimmer.

Derpy shivered a bit more intensely for just a second.

“I suppose you’re right,” said Derpy, tear rolling down her face as if her eyes were raining clouds, “I just wish I could’ve told Carrot Top and her family what happened.”

“Hey,” said Sunset Shimmer, kneeling down and putting her hand on Derpy’s shoulder, “It may not be the most convenient, but the portal in the horse statue will still open. You’ll still be able to tell them, you just have to wait a bit.”

Sunset Shimmer did not know who Derpy was talking about, but she felt like she had to comfort her. After all, this experiment had been her idea. If anything, she should’ve been the one doing what Atom was doing.

Sunset kept her faculties though, but even so, she felt worse than she ever felt before in her life.

“Yeah, you’re right,” said Derpy, wiping her tears and snot though clearly still distraught.

It was at that moment Twilight Sparkle decided to remove the spell she had cast on Derpy. Fortunately, Twilight made sure that Derpy was put in a place where there wasn’t a lot of stimuli. Derpy the pony was suspended a few feet in the air by a simple frame with a platform and most assuredly blindfolded. Her limbs were all held in place, but all with enough freedom to move around a bit. Twilight had decided to still magically numb Derpy the pony’s tactile senses. She had soundproofed the room Derpy the pony was in.

Derpy’s ears, however, were working at full capacity.

“Derpy, can you hear me?” whispered Twilight Sparkle.

“Princess Twilight?” said Derpy.

“What about Twilight Sparkle?” said Sunset Shimmer, “Look, I’m sure she had a good reason.”

“Should I speak a bit louder?” whispered Twilight Sparkle.

“Yes, I can barely hear you,” said Derpy.

“Um, okay?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Is this fine?” said Twilight Sparkle, her voice now; though a tad quiet; easier to hear than a whisper.

“Yes, talk like that,” said Derpy.

“I don’t quite understand what you’re saying,” said Sunset Shimmer, “I hope you didn’t lose any cognitive functions when your other body died.”

“Is pony me dead?” said Derpy.

“No, why would you think that?” said Twilight Sparkle.

“I guess we don’t really know if that’s true,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“I lost all feeling in my pony self,” said Derpy.

“Oh, that,” said Twilight Sparkle, “Sorry for giving you such a spook.”

“It’s entirely possible that that body just entered a coma like state for some reason,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“I cut off all sensation with a spell, it was the only way I could think of to make you stop being in agony,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I’ve since stopped the spell, but I still felt that I had to hamper your senses a bit. I made sure to numb your pain still.”

“That’s good,” said Derpy.

“Well, I mean, there’s still a ch-” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Shush, Sunset! I’m trying to talk to Twilight!” said Derpy.

“What?” said Sunset Shimmer.

Atom looked up.

“Wait… so it was successful?” said Atom.

Two teenaged girls were walking thru the residential areas late at night.

“I’m tellin’ ya, Golden Hazel, I lost a french horn around here by Derpy’s house,” said Watermelody.

“You know where Derpy lives?” said Golden Hazel, “Are you extorting her now?”

Golden Hazel didn’t have any idea why Watermelody would want to find french horn that she had dropped, especially since she seemed to be relocating instruments to random places over the surprise break, but she did suppose that she didn’t really know what Watermelody was up to.

"Oh, just because I tried to blackmail Starlight that one time I'm always trying to do it to everyone I meet, huh?" said Watermelody, "I learned my lesson when she blackmailed me right back!"

"Don't say that as if you're proud of it!" said Golden Hazel.

An agonizingly pained sounding scream rang out thru-out the area, it continued on.

"Gads, my body hurts just listening to that. Where is that coming from?" said Golden Hazel.

Watermelody's eyes widened when she realized something.

"Oh no," said Watermelody, "that's coming from Derpy's house!

“Hey, a thought occurred to me,” said Atom, no longer whimpering; but still curled up on the floor.

“What?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Shouldn’t her mom have heard her agony?” said Atom, pointing at Derpy.

“Oh mom? She’s out,” said Derpy.

“Why?” said Sunset Shimmer.

Derpy just shrugged.

“Argh! This so frustrating!” said Twilight Sparkle, “I can only hear what you’re saying, and not anything the humans you’re talking to say!”

“Gee, sorry Twilight, I just don’t know what I can do about that,” said Derpy.

“What are you apologizing to her for?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Wait a moment,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I have an idea!”

“What?” said Derpy.

“I said why a- Wait, you’re talking to her, aren’t you?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Okay Derpy, when I say something; I want you to say it at the same time I do,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Just don’t use any big words,” said Derpy.

“I’ll try,” said Twilight Sparkle right before she coughed to clear her throat.

“Sunset Shimmer, this is Twilight Sparkle, I’ve gotten Derpy to speak with me synchr-” said Twilight and Derpy.

“-onously with me,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“sync- syn- chro-...” said Derpy at more or less the same time as her, “Twilight! I said no big words!”

“Oops, sorry,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“I’ve gotten Derpy to talk with at the same time as a way to speak to you quickly,” said Twilight Sparkle, “You should probably do the same.”

“Right,” said Sunset Shimmer, “Ready, Derpy?”

Derpy nodded her head.

“This is Sunset Shimmer. Now that we have opened direct communications thru the subject, what do you think our next course of action should be?” said Sunset & Derpy.

“Why do you call her a subj-” said Twilight and Derpy.

“-ect,” finished Twilight Sparkle.

“Hey yeah! why are you calling me a subject?” said Derpy, giving Sunset a bit of a glare.

Sunset Shimmer sighed and put her hand over her face.

“Force of habit, I guess,” said Sunset Shimmer, “Listen Derpy, I’m sorry. It’s technically true, but I guess saying it like that is a bit insensitive.”

“Apology accepted,” said Derpy.

“... May I please speak to Sunset Shimmer now?” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Oh sure thing Twilight,” said Derpy, who then waited just a bit for Twilight to once again speak.

“I think that you should take her to horse statue portal and see if we can do anything further there,” said Twilight and Derpy.

“Alright. You’re in for something special tomorrow at school, Derpy,” said Sunset and Derpy.

“You didn’t have to say that last part, Derpy,” said Sunset and Derpy.

“Oh, oops,” said Derpy.

Suddenly the door slammed open.

“Twilight! We heard a scream all the way across town,” said Carrot Top, “I’m really surprised there aren’t more ponies here investigating, honestly.

“Carrot Top?!” said Derpy. Not only was Carrot Top there, but her equally concerned family was with her, though Derpy couldn’t see that.

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that,” said Golden Hazel.

“Oh great, it’s Drama Letter and Watermelody,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“That’s Dodo Brain and Watermelody, thank you very much,” said Watermelody. She was promptly smacked in the back of her head by Golden Hazel.

“That’s Golden Hazel and Doodoo Brain, thank you very much,” said Golden Hazel. Watermelody just grumbled while she rubbed her head.

Carrot Top, Written Script, Amethyst Star, and Dinky all noticed that Derpy was suspended and bound with a blindfold on.

“What?!” said Written Script.

“We heard terrible screaming coming from Derpy’s house and came as soon as we could,” said Watermelody.

“I didn’t know you were like this,” said Carrot Top, making sure to cover Dinky’s eyes, “Uh! Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Though you should really invest in sound proofing.”

“Ooh, you found somepony; a princess no less,” said Amethyst Star, “Be sure to invite us to the wedding!”

“She made us stop for ice cream on the way,” said Golden Hazel.

“What?! This isn’t what it looks like!” said Twilight Sparkle.

“I would hope so,” said Written Script.

“As soon as we could,” said Watermelody.

“Everyone shut up!” said Derpy, “You’re overloading my brain with all your chatter.”

“Sorry,” said all on both sides, though the sides weren’t quite matched up with each other.

“Twilight, I can’t see a thing,” said Derpy.

“Me neither!” said Dinky, prodding her mother’s leg in an attempt to remove it from her face, “It’s butts!”

“Atom, blindfold my human form heavily,” said Derpy, “Do your best to make it so that no light passes thru to my eyes.”

Atom went and grabbed a bunch of Derpy’s shirts, favoring the ones that seemed thicker to him, and started wrapping them so as to cover Derpy’s eyes.

“Sunset, explain to Golden Hazel and Watermelody what happened, I’ll do my best to explain to my pony friends,” said Derpy, “Twilight, remove the blindfold please.”

Sunset Shimmer led the two dramatically inclined humans out of Derpy’s earshot.

“Alright,” said Twilight Sparkle, shortly doing as requested.

“What’s a human?” asked Dinky, “And who’re you talking to?”

“That’s a good question, Dinky,” said Derpy, “I can’t really describe what a human looks like well, but if it helps you can think of them as aliens that walk on two legs and have graspers on their front limbs.”

“Neat,” said Dinky, “Can you get your leg off my eyes already, mom?”

“Not until I can be sure you won’t be tainted until you’re at least thirteen,” said Carrot Top.

“This is butts,” said Dinky.

“Are you going to answer her other question?” said Amethyst Star.

“Yeah,” said Written Script, “I’m so confused.”

“Man, I’m so confused,” said Atom, “I guess that’s what I get for only being able to listen to half a conversation.”

“Shut up, Atom! I’m trying to explain things to my friends here!” said Derpy, “Anyway, I was talking to humans who are helping me with my situation. Carrot Top, do you remember all those times when I asked you if you ever wondered what’s real?”

Carrot Top stopped and thought for a bit, her younger daughter still trying to escape her grasp.

“Yes, I always answer no,” said Carrot Top.

Derpy smiled in that at least looked melancholic.

“I asked that because in my dreams I go to another world that seemed just as real as this one,” said Derpy, “The world would seem impossible from your world’s perspective, and your world seems impossible from say the guy sitting in the room with my human bodies perspective, but both worlds turned out to be real.”

“You live a ‘dual life’ then, huh?” said Written Script.

“Carrot Top, please slap your husband in the back of his head,” said Derpy.

“Can do,” said Carrot Top, slapping him with the leg not covering Dinky’s eyes.

“Aw butts, I thought mom’d need to use her right hoof to do that,” said Dinky.

“Nope, dad’s on her left,” said Amethyst Star.

“Butts,” said Dinky.

“Today we able to make our first big break-thru,” said Twilight Sparkle, “We now have immediate contact between the two worlds.”

“I hope you get to visit me there soon,” said Derpy.

“Our ultimate goal is to construct a portal that connects the worlds,” said Twilight Sparkle, “but I don’t expect that to happen very soon.”

“So… are you two in a relationship then?” said Amethyst Star.

“Sorry, I just don’t find interest in such a relationship with Derpy,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Dang, and I really liked the idea too,” said Amethyst Star.

“I’m going to send a letter to ask Princess Cadance to send over the mirror portal today,” said Twilight Sparkle, “You’re all welcome to observe the experiment.”

“We might take you up on that offer,” said Written Script.

Sunset took Watermelody and Golden Hazel into the kitchen. It was small, but functional. The kitchen consisted primarily of the stove and the refrigerator. There was also a pantry and drawers next to the stove. The room was just big enough for Sunset, Golden Hazel, and Watermelody to all fit in the room without having to touch each other… if they didn’t move their arms too much.

“Okay,” said Sunset Shimmer, “We already explained most of this to Watermelon D.”

“Her name is Doodoo Brain,” said Golden Hazel.

“Watermelody!” said Watermelody, “I don’t have any Ds in my name.”

“Yeah, it’s spelt W-A-T-E-R-M-E-L-O-Y,” said Golden Hazel.

“...Shut up,” said Watermelody.

“As I was saying, Watermelody already knows most of this so…” said Sunset Shimmer.

Sunset Shimmer and Golden Hazel both looked expectantly at Watermelody.

“What?” said Watermelody.

“Tell us the thing, Watermeloy,” said Golden Hazel.

Watermelody gave her a dirty look.

“Fine,” said Watermelody, who looked to the side to help herself remember, “I didn’t really pay attention to any of the boring parts, but I think the gist of it is this: Derpy’s got two bodies or something and also there’s something about waking them, her? up. Also one of them’s like some sort of alien or whatever, maybe… Oh! and they want to build a portal from her body but can’t, but they really really want to.”

Sunset Sighed.

“I guess that really is the gist of it,” said Sunset Shimmer, “but we plan on making a portal with the help of data gathered by our research of the subj- Derpy. Not to make a portal from her directly.”

“...Cool?” said Golden Hazel.

“If you really want to, you can look at Atom and me try to compare Derpy with the horse statue,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Cool!” said Watermelody, she smiled expectantly at Golden Hazel.

Golden Hazel let out a heavy sigh.

“I’ll go get the picnic baskets,” said Golden Hazel.

“You’re the best,” said Watermelody, smug closed mouth grin still on her face.

“I sure am,” said Golden Hazel as unenthusiastically as she could.

Inside and Outside.

It was the daytime. Sunset Shimmer, Derpy, Watermelody, and Golden Hazel went to the horse statue that was a closed gateway to another universe. Atom was there too.

It was a weekend, fortunately, so they could get away with messing around near the statue without being called to class and punished for playing hooky in such a visible spot. Derpy was blindfolded and had to be led, for while she didn’t have the best sight in the world, she wasn’t really used to experiencing the world blinded.
After the third time she bumped into a tree she had to hold Atom’s hand for the rest of the journey.
After the fourth time, she also had to hold Golden Hazel’s hand. Golden Hazel’s other hand held a picnic basket filled with food one might find in such a storage. Watermelody planned for them to consume the stuff in it while they watched Sunset Shimmer conduct experiments with Derpy.

“Man, I can’t believe Derpy bumped into all four trees between where we met with her and here,” said Watermelody.

“I can’t believe I have to hold her hand AND the picnic basket,” said Golden Hazel, who gave Watermelody a dirty look.

“What can I say, Golden, you’re real handy,” said Watermelody, eyes closed and with a shrug.

Golden Hazel gave her a dirtier look.

“We’re here,” said Sunset Shimmer.

The five teenagers stopped in front of a modest horse statue.

“Derpy, get over here,” said Sunset Shimmer, “Now, if you remember, the portal is really in the part the horse stands upon and not really the horse statue.”

“Right,” said Derpy.

Watermelody and Golden Hazel, who was able to release Derpy’s hand after she helped bring her over to Sunset Shimmer, had set up a modest picnic. Atom decided to sit next to them ‘til such a time as he’d be needed.

“First thing I want you to do, Derpy is put your hand on the base of the statue while you touch the mirror on the other side, can you do that?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“I’ll ask Twilight,” said Derpy, “Sunset wants me to touch both portals at once!”

It was rather late on the pony side of things. Princess Twilight Sparkle, Derpy, Carrot Top, Written Script, Amethyst Star, and Dinky were all gathered around a fancy looking mirror. Princess Cadance got it to Twilight as fast as she could, she was a good friend like that.

“It’s rather late, Dinky, maybe you should go to bed,” said Carrot Top.

“No! This is important! I can tell ‘cause you’re all anxious for some reason that I don’t know!” said Dinky.

Carrot Top decided to relent for once.

Derpy was still suspended, but she could see the room she was in. She looked at the mirror, she had never seen the mirror before. She had often seen the horse statue when she was traveling the school, so it was jarring for her that the mirror portal looked so different from it.

‘I guess that doesn’t matter too much,’ thought Derpy, ‘Still a point of interest though.’

“So what’s with this mirror anyway?” said Amethyst Star.

“It’s a portal that opens every thirty moons to another universe,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I went there once.”

“...Neat,” said Written Script.

‘Why do I keep bumping into trees?’ thought Derpy.

“Right now I’m trying to see if the mirror currently exhibits any behavior uncommon to a mirror when the portal’s closed,” said Twilight Sparkle, “Such as anything other than reflecting light.”

‘Oh good, we made it to the statue,’ thought Derpy.

Princess Twilight Sparkle poked and prodded the mirror for a while and everypony just stared at her work. It looked very flashy all things considered, but it didn’t end up amounting to much.

“I conclude that it is unlikely that the mirror exhibits behavior abnormal for mirrors while the portal remains closed,” said Twilight Sparkle.

She attached a machine something to the mirror.

“What’s that thing?” said Amethyst Star.

“Oh that?” said Twilight Sparkle, “It’s a device that reads magical signatures, I thought that I might as well install it now. When the portal opens, I plan on taking a reading with the device.”

“I take it you’re the type that likes to get things out of the way as soon as possible then?” said Written Script.

“Right,” said Derpy.

“Hmmm,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I’m not sure about that…”

“I’ll ask Twilight. Sunset wants me to touch both portals at once!” said Derpy.

“It’s technically only one portal, there’s just two-” said Twilight Sparkle.

“You know what she means,” said Carrot Top, who gave Princess Twilight Sparkle a stern look.

“Right,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I guess you could do that.”

Derpy put her hand up to the base of the statue. Then her hoof was put against the mirror. Derpy punched, or kicked depending on how you look at it, herself in the face. She promptly fell down and her forelimbs were removed from the portal.

There had been a subtle glimmer that appeared when Derpy put her hand against the statue. It disappeared when she stopped touching it. She was not expecting to accidentally punch herself in the face, but when her pony self’s front leg was placed on the mirror it somehow shot thru to the other side unchanged and it collided with Derpy’s human face.
Derpy’s human forelimb did also make a trip to its opposite universe, but it sailed harmlessly under her pony body’s torso.

“I wondered if anything would happen,” said Sunset Shimmer, “Didn’t really expect anything like that to happen though.”

“Are you alright?” said Atom after he got up and kneeled down at Derpy.

Derpy just nodded while she lied down on the ground.

Watermelody had laughed when Derpy interdimensionally punched herself in the face.

“It’s not funny, Watermelody,” said Golden Hazel.

“Pfft, you never appreciated real comedy,” said Watermelody.

“What? It’s your taste for commoner’s comedy that makes it so you’ll never live like a true thespian,” said Golden Hazel, left hand over her heart and right arm extending out for dramatic effect.

“If being like you is how to be a ‘true thespian’, I’m glad I’m a fake one or whatever,” said Watermelody.

“Okay, but I’ll need to rest a bit first. My face really hurts,” said Derpy, presumably to one of the ponies on the other side.

“Grrr, you just don’t know how to appreciate things properly,” said Golden Hazel.

“Trust me.That wasn’t the case on the other side,”” said Derpy, probably still talking to the ponies.

“No, that’s your problem. We’ve been over this,” said Watermelody.

“Why you…” said Golden Hazel.

“Shut up and get over here you two,” said Sunset Shimmer, “I want your opinion on whether Derpy is fine or not.”

“Sorry, I don’t swing that way!” said Watermelody.

She got smacked in the back of the head by Golden Hazel.

“I hate that joke,” said Golden Hazel.

‘Did Sunset know this would happen?’ thought Twilight Sparkle.

“Wait!” said Twilight Sparkle, “That should’ve given me a reading on the portal’s magical signature! If I can replicate it, I might be able to make a copy portal! With Sunset’s help we might even be able to make one that acts like it’s always being touched by Derpy!”

“You sound awfully excited,” said Amethyst Stat.

“You’re right, I’m probably getting ahead of myself,” said Twilight Sparkle, “Derpy, I’ll need you to activate the portal again.”

“Okay, but I’ll need to rest a bit first. My face really hurts,” said Derpy.

“But that weird monkey arm didn’t even touch you,” said Written Script.

“Trust me,” said Derpy, “That wasn’t the case on the other side.”

The four other teenagers were gathered around and hovering over Derpy, who was lying on her back right in front of the horse statue.

“You are talking to ponies on the other side, right?” said Sunset Shimmer, “Not just babbling nonsense?”

Derpy nodded her head.

“So what were you talking about exactly?” said Atom.

Derpy held up a finger telling them to wait a moment. She crawled back to the base of the statue and placed both her right forelimbs to it. The glimmer was back.

A book had flown thru the portal. Then something else flew thru right after it did too.

“Um...Hello?” said Twilight Sparkle.

Coming Thru.

Princess Twilight Sparkle stood there, back in the universe she was second most familiar with out of all the universes she had ever been to. However, she was still in the body she was the second most familiar with instead of the one she was third most familiar with. She still wasn’t quite used to her wings.

“Um… Hello?” said Twilight.

Atom picked up the book that had flown thru the portal.

“What’s with this?” said Atom.

“Heh heh, I was just testing to see if something other than Derpy could go thru the portal while Derpy was touching it,” said Twilight Sparkle, her hoof rubbing the back of her head, “Then I got a bit too eager when it worked.”

“Understandable,” said Atom.

“Weren’t you human-looking last time you were here?” said Watermelody.

“She was here before?” said Atom.

“Yeah, can’t you hear? She sounds just like the girl who won at the last ‘Fall Formal’ event,” said Watermelody.

“I never really heard her speak, really,” said Atom.

“Um, to be honest, I was kind of expecting the portal to change my appearance again,” said Twilight Sparkle, “Then again, I probably should have expected this when I saw Derpy’s hand pass thru to my side unaltered.”

“Twilight Sparkle,” said Sunset Shimmer, “I hope you realize that we’ve stumbled upon quite the unlikely break-thru today. Especially given your successful trip thru the portal.”

“Sweet Celestia, you’re right, Sunset,” said Twilight Sparkle, “And if I can make good use of that reading I got, we might even be able to create a new portal to here!”

“I hope you’re not getting ahead of yourself, princess,” said Sunset Shimmer.

Atom looked at the book he had picked up.

“Pepper Pie’s Big Adventure?” said Atom, “Can’t say I’ve ever heard of this.”

“Looks kind of interesting,” said Golden Hazel.

“It’s a lot longer than I thought it would be, but not bad,” said Derpy, “Sorry guys, I was talking to the people on the other side. Excuse me, I need to focus on talking to the ponies.”

Derpy crawled to an area where she wouldn’t intrude on the humans’ conversations.

Watermelody stared at the book Atom was holding.

“What’s wrong, Watermelody?” said Golden Hazel.

“I feel like I’ve seen that book somewhere before,” said Watermelody.

“Impossible, this book is from a different dimension,” said Atom.

“Still seems familiar somehow,” said Watermelody, she took the book out of Atom’s hands and opened it somewhere in the middle while flipping it turnways.

“Hey!” said Atom when she did that.

“You really need to learn to ask people to hand you things when you want to look at them,” said Golden Hazel.

“Pfft, there’s no guarantee they’ll let me handle them if I do that,” said Watermelody, “This way, there’s a hundred percent chance!”

“Yeah, think there might be a reason people might not want you doing that?” said Golden Hazel.

Watermelody looked to the side and tried to think.

“Nope, can’t fathom one,” said Watermelody.

“I hate you so much,” said Golden Hazel.

“Where did the princess go?” said Dinky.

“I think she said something about this mirror being a portal to somewhere,” said Amethyst Star.

“I think she went after the book she dropped,” said Written Script, “but she fell in as she was reaching for it.”

“This isn’t the time for jokes, dear,” said Carrot Top.

“Aw dang,” said Written Script, “and I had some good ones too.”

“No he didn’t,” said Amethyst Star, whispering to the side as if to say it to somepony else. Even though there wasn’t any pony else there.

“I think they’re funny,” said Dinky.

“Oh no! My dear sweet little sister, they’ve gotten you! If only I could have saved you from the horrible joke demons! But alas, I was too late,” said Amethyst Star.

“Actually, I think you’ve been snagged by your father’s ‘horrible joke demons’ to a much greater extent than Dinky has,” said Carrot Top.

“... shut up,” said Amethyst Star.

Carrot Top closed her eyes and shook her head.

“Just like your father,” said Carrot Top.

“It’s a lot longer than I thought it would be, but not bad,” said Derpy.

“Huh?” said Carrot Top’s family together.

“Sorry guys, I was talking to the people on the other side,” said Derpy, ”Excuse me, I need to focus on talking to the ponies.”

“What was that all about?” said Amethyst Star.

“Yeah, what was that all about?” said Dinky.

“Oh, my human friends were just talking about the book Princess Twilight threw thru the portal,” said Derpy.

“What book was it?” said Written Script.

“Pepper Pie’s Big Adventure,” said Derpy.

“Huh,” said Written Script.

“What the hyummins doing now, Derpy?” said Dinky.

“I don’t know, really, I’m blindfolded on the human side,” said Derpy.

“Why?” said Dinky.

“Because…” said Derpy, “Now that you mention it, the pony body is probably the one that should be blindfolded…”

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty,” said Written Script.

“Go get my blindfold,” said Derpy.

Derpy, now blinded on both sides, removed the blindfold on her human half. She saw Sunset Shimmer talking to Princess Twilight Sparkle. To her amazement, Princess Twilight Sparkle was still a pony. She walked over to them.

“Twilight, why are you still a pony?” said Derpy.

“That’s actually what we’re trying to figure out,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“We think it might be your touch activating the portal, but not all the way,” said Twilight Sparkle, “We’re really not sure on the details though.”

“The short version is: The portal can let things pass thru it when you touch it, but it won’t change a single thing when things go thru it,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Okay,” said Derpy.

“Also, I think we might have a working duplicate portal by tomorrow,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I might need to clone your DNA though.”

“Me too,” said Sunset Shimmer, “It needs both bodies to work.”

“Gee, it won’t hurt. Will it?” said Derpy.

“We just need some of your hair and mane,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Or your spit,” said Sunset Shimmer, “but we’d prefer the hair.”

“Anyone and anypony got some scissors?” said Derpy.

Mystery's Misery Maimed OR The End.

Derpy was still hugging herself, eyes closed.

“Hey Sunset,” said Derpy, who then spoke out of both of her mouths at the same time; more noticeable since she was now in the same room as herself, “can you blindfold one of my bodies?”

Sunset picked up the blindfold and put it on Derpy’s human eyes. Derpy was confused as to why she chose to put them on that body, but she decided to roll with it. Derpy’s pony body still felt numb, that helped her not feel too much which confused her senses horribly. Her human body lifted her pony body up and effectively gave herself a piggyback ride.

“I feel tall,” said Derpy, “I’ve got to show this to mom,”

She went out into the open world towards home. Luckily she could see where she was going, she only bumped into trees twice.

Sunset looked at the portal. There was something she knew she needed to do.

Derpy had gotten strange stares on her way home, but she didn’t care. She even waved a hoof and a hand at people who turned their heads her way, ignoring any effects that that might cause. When she made it to her house she rang the doorbell.

Her mom opened the door.

“Hello?” said Derpy’s mom, “Derpy?”

“Hi mom!” said Derpy, “This is kind of related to my sleeping problem.”

“Really?”

“Remember when I told you about my recurring dream?” said Derpy.

“No, I don’t really remember that happening,” said Derpy’s mom.

Derpy rubbed the backs of her heads.

“I guess it was a really long time ago,” said Derpy, “Then again, maybe I told my other mom and not you.”

“Other mom?” said Derpy’s mom.

“The mother of this body,” said Derpy, pointing at her pony body.

“I see,” said Derpy’s mom, “What is that thing anyway?”

“I’m a flesh and blood creature thru and thru,” said Derpy, “Well, I guess creatures might be more accurate.”

Derpy’s mom poked Derpy’s pony cheek.

“Quit it~!” said Derpy, she couldn’t really feel it; but seeing it still bothered her.

“You certainly feel alive,” said Derpy’s mom, “What exactly did you do to yourself?”

“This is all of me, I’ve always been like this, ” said Derpy, smiling, “I’m just feeling a lot closer to myself than ever before.”

“This’d make you a lot more famous than a simple weird sleeping condition,” said Derpy’s mom, who couldn’t resist petting her daughters pony body all the while.

“Yeah,” said Derpy, “probably.”

Sunset Shimmer entered the library.

“Gyah!” said Spike in shock.

“Hello, Spike,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Sunset Shimmer?” said Spike, “What are you doing here?”

“I just need to write and send a letter,” said Sunset Shimmer.

Sunset took a piece of blank paper from the table and a quill that was apparently for recording lab results. Then she wrote her letter. It did not take her very long.

“Now how do I send a letter to Princess Celestia,” said Sunset Shimmer, pondering to herself.

Spike hesitated before he decided to tell her.

“I could send it to her,” said Spike.

Sunset looked over to him and, after a moment, gave him a small smile.

“Thanks,” said Sunset Shimmer as she handed him the letter.

Spike took a look at her letter. He turned his head back up to question her about something, but she was already gone when he did.

The letter wasn’t very long, barely a sentence.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I’m sorry.

-Sunset Shimmer

Derpy decided to try and go find Watermelody and Golden Hazel before heading back to the portal. She packed two plain turkey sandwiches and explored the town.

“Hey Derpys,” said Watermelody.

Or she would’ve if she didn’t immediately run into the two people she was about to look for.

“It’s a good thing you didn’t punch her in the chest like the last person who opened the door before you could start knocking,” said Golden Hazel.

“I said I was sorry, Golden Hazel, geez,” said Watermelody, “When are you going to get over it? that was, like, months ago!”

“Who even knocks on a door by punching it anyway?!” said Golden Hazel.

“Pfft, the kind of girl who shows doors who’s boss, that’s who,” said Watermelody.

“Ugh,” said Golden Hazel.

“Um, what are you two doing here?” said Derpy, “Not that I mind, I was just about to look for you.”

“We came here looking for you ‘cause Sunset said you were heading here when we didn’t find you at her place,” said Watermelody.

“I don’t think that was the answer she was looking for,” said Golden Hazel.

“Well it’s the answer I’m giving her,” said Watermelody, who then crossed her arms and turned around.”

Golden Hazel looked at the sight standing before her. Watermelody turned her head back just enough to get a good look at it too.

“So, you’re really beside yourself now,” said Golden Hazel.

“More like atop herself,” said Watermelody.

Derpy let out a giggle.

“Come on, we can talk about things on the way back to Sunset’s,” said Derpy.

Sunset just sat by the portal, looking down. She sat and contemplated what had become of her. She lifted up her head when she heard the doorbell.

“But I wanted to-” said Watermelody.

“Not with the way you knock,” said Golden Hazel.

Sunset Shimmer opened her front door.

“What do you ALL want?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“We were just keeping Derpy company at this point,” said Golden Hazel, “Ta-ta~!”

“Goodbye Sunset,” said Watermelody, who then said something a bit strange as she left, “I need to see if the school band is still planning to march.”

Sunset arched an eyebrow.

“What was that about?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“I don’t know, but I feel that it might explain some things,” said Derpy.

Princess Twilight Sparkle was writing down notes of her findings on dimensional travel, intent on sending the other Princesses something about it.

“Knock knock,” said Written Script, “We’re here to check on Derpy again.”
The rest of his family was also there.

“She sort of left, she was taken off with,” said Twilight Sparkle, “By her self.”

“Huh?” said Amethyst Star.

“Well I’m back now!” said Derpy, “Sort of.”

Derpy arrived at the library as her human body, blindfold now back on the pony.

“What is that?!” said Carrot Top.

“It looks weird!” said Dinky, “I like it!”

Dinky went up to Derpy, walked in circles around her to get a good look from all angles, and generally gawked at her appearance.

“You’re tall!” said Dinky.

“Yes, but I’m not really all that much bigger than I am as a pegasus,” said Derpy.

Dinky gasped.

“You’re Derpy!” said Dinky.

“Indeed I am, little Dinky,” said Derpy.

“Why do you look like that, Derpy?” said Carrot Top.

“I showed my human friends what I look like as a pony, so I thought it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t show my pony friends what I look like as a human,” said Derpy, “This is just what humans look like.”

“Can I touch it?” said Amethyst Star.

“I think calling her it might be a little rude,” said Written Script, mumbling.

“Sure you can,” said Derpy, “High five!”

Derpy raised her hand in the air and waited. Amethyst Star and the rest of her family just stared at her in confusion.

“Oh right, you wouldn’t know what that is,” said Derpy, lowering her hand.

Amethyst Star was still waiting in front of her. Derpy decided to go with a handshake instead.

“Your claws are so soft,” said Amethyst Star.

“They’re not claws, they’re hands,” said Derpy.

“Why?” said Amethyst Star.

“Because they’re so soft,” said Derpy.

“Can I ride you?” said Dinky.

“Dinky!” said Carrot Top.

“Sorry!” said Dinky, “May I ride you?”

Carrot Top was about to say something, but she was preemptively interrupted by Derpy.

“Sure, Dinky, why not?” said Derpy.

Derpy picked up Dinky and gave her a piggyback ride. Dinky held Derpy’s head firmly while she walked around the room, both giggling all the while.

Derpy eventually finished playing with her little pony pal and traveled back thru the portal. Off to the side she saw Sunset apparently moping and sulking, but she had something she wanted to do.

Derpy took the turkey sandwiches she had packed and ate them both, one for each mouth. While it wasn’t really the best thing for her herbivorous stomach, she really really wanted to know something.

Derpy wanted to know what it was like to dream.

“Man the torpedoes,” said Watermelody, biggest captain in the royal navy.

“You wouldn’t,” said Carrot Top with Golden Hazel’s voice.

“Trust me, she would,” said Amethyst Star.

They were all in a huge boat. The boat looked like a row boat except giant.

“No one argues with a giant,” said Watermelody, biggest captain in the royal navy.

She then fell over. Sunset Shimmer was on the back of her neck dressed like a pirate, not a captain though still obviously a pirate, she was wearing a pony version of Atom on her back. Except what was on her back was obviously an off-white backpack, but for some reason Derpy still perceived it as a pony Atom.

“I don’t waste my time arguing,” said Sunset Shimmer, but with Twilight’s voice coming out of her as well as her own.

“The sewing contest is almost over!” said a voice Derpy didn’t recognize.

“Oh no!” said Derpy, “I’ve only got eight seconds left, but I’m still boiling the first batch of pancakes!”

“Don’t worry!” said Pinkie Pie Fluttershy, “With this watch you can stop time!”

Derpy activated the watches function.

“Cool, how do I make it start again?”

Pinkie Pie Fluttershy couldn’t answer because time was stopped.

“No~!” said Golden Hazel as she realized what she had done.

“I told you that you would mess this up,” said Derpy, seemingly to no one because she was alone in a room writing letters.

Dear Rainbow Dash,
U

your friend, Derpy

Derpy wiped her brow.

“Fyew,” said Derpy writing letters is tiring, I should get some rest.”

Everything started exploding, but Derpy still calmly went to bed.

Derpy woke up.

“I am never doing that again,” said Derpy, still using both mouths to speak, “Sunset! I need another turkey sandwich!”

It was a brand new day in Ponyville. Derpy went to work, thankful that Twilight had dispelled the numbing spell since she didn’t need it any more.
Derpy’s human body was fast asleep, the previous awake/asleep dichotomy of her two bodies restored.
Derpy felt great, she was truly sure of herself and her surroundings.

“Good morning Ponyville Post!” said Derpy, “and I just can’t wait to say good morning to Canterlot High ‘tonight’.”

Everything was just really real, you know?

Author's Note

Now that I've finished, I would really appreciate some feedback on how well/poorly this was pulled off and what could be improved upon.

Please~.

Are We Human?

“Forsooth! Yonder windowed cav- Derpy wake up!” said a girl with green hair and a red beret.
Her hair was probably her most distinctive feature, it looked like half a watermelon had been placed on as a helmet or something.

“Buh?” said Derpy.
She hadn’t really been sleeping so much as she was spacing out, but it wasn’t really prudent to point that out.

“Having problems with insomnia again?” said a girl with curly orange hair, wearing a white scarf.
Derpy had once mistaken her for a human version of Carrot Top. but once she actually met her it became clear that she wasn’t.

“Yeah,” said Derpy.

“I know what that’s like,” said the green haired girl, “Well not really, but I listened to a song that I’ve been told was about insomnia once.”

“That is so helpful, Watermelody,” said the orange haired girl flatly.

“Whatever, Golden Hazel,” said Watermelody.

They were practicing for an assignment in drama class, at least Derpy was pretty sure that was what was happening. She was never very good at the class, and she had been lucky(?) enough to have two of the most serious players in the drama clique.
She feared she’d be heavily looked down upon due to her tendency to forget lines, characters, plot, and what play they were doing.

‘I really should’ve picked a different elective,’ thought Derpy.

“And it’s forthwith not forsooth,” said Golden Hazel.

“Oh yeah? Well I have the script right here!” said Watermelody, “And it clearly says ‘forsooth’!”

“What? Mine clearly says ‘forthwith’!” said Golden Hazel.

The two stared at each other. Then they looked at the other’s pages and back to theirs.

“Teacher!” they yelled.

‘They seem to bother each other more than notice me,’ thought Derpy.

The Fall Formal was tonight. Derpy thought it was going to be another ‘Sunset Shimmer wins by default’ type of event, but there was a new girl out strutting her stuff and declaring her intent to run for princess.

‘It’d probably be too much to hope for,’ thought Derpy.

Eventually the event actually happened. It turned out far different from anything Derpy had thought would ever happen in this world.
Shimmer losing to another was shocking enough, if pleasantly surprising, but what happened afterwards was the real jaw-dropper.

‘Everyone always thought she’d turn out to be some sort of demon,’ this was Derpy’s last thought before the big gap between them everyone would seem to have later.
The first memory after that was seeing six girls already changed into something similar to, but not quite human. Half of them had wings while the other half had less obvious differences, it was clear something was different about them.

‘I… I guess I’ll ask around later what that was,” thought Derpy.

The afterparty had been really confusing.

Derpy had fallen asleep. Derpy woke up.

‘My dreams don’t usually have magic in them,’ thought Derpy, ‘At least not in the way it just did.

Derpy got ready for work. She ate breakfast, put on her ‘uniform’, and went out the door.

“Mail!” said Derpy at every stop she stopped at.

“Oh hey, Derpy,” said Spike the Dragon when she reached the library.

“Hey,” said Derpy, “Say… do you have any books on dreams?”

“Sure, why?”

Derpy rolled her head around. She turned her face left and right.

“Ummm…,” said Derpy, “I had a really weird dream last night,”

“What was so weird about it?” said Spike.

Derpy pressed her forehooves together and knit her eyebrows.

“It’s kinda hard to explain,” said Derpy.

Spike rolled his eyes.

“I’m pretty smart, I’m sure I’ll understand it if you explain it,” said Spike, the grin on his face was trying to be smoother than smooth (it barely achieved smoother than sandpaper).

“Well…” said Derpy, “okay. Imagine a creature that’s sort of like a monkey or a bear, I guess? Well, you’d have to throw in a seal or dolphin in there too… for hairlessness.”

“Uh huh,” said Spike.

“Er, in my dreams, I’m one of them,” said Derpy.

Derpy bit her lip and tried her best to look off to the left with her eyes.

“Wait…” sad Spike to himself.

“That’s really more of a recurring dream, I go to school in them. Not that this dream was really any different like that, but there was something extra weird about it. I saw Twilight grow wings!” said Derpy.

“I don’t think you were there for that,” said Spike.

Derpy smacked herself in the face.

“I mean in the dream,” said Derpy.

“Oh,” said Spike.

“But she was what I was, that creature,” said Derpy.

“Uh…” said Spike.

“she gave powers to all of her friends too, I knew that Dash pretty well actually. Also she walked thru the horse statue-” said Derpy.

“Rainbow Dash walked thru a horse statue?” said Spike, Derpy thought she sensed some sort of hope or something like it in his voice.

“No, Twilight walked thru the statue. More like below it really, but she was the only one able to go thru! Heck, I even tried to go myself,” said Derpy.

“...Right,” said Spike.

“What do you think it meant, Spike?” said Derpy, she resisted mentioning how she had trouble distinguishing reality. The two states seemed absolutely real, but they were completely different.

“Well I’m not one of those dream analyze… guys, but I’m sure Twilight would want to know about this,” said Spike.

“I’ll be sure to tell her then,” said Derpy with a smile.

Derpy left to deliver what was left in her bags.
“Yeah,” said Spike, “I’ll tell her too.”

Derpy was long gone at this point.

Author's Note

In case it wasn't clear that this is an Equestria Girls based fic, this is that thing I just typed.

Watermelody (who I also put in the cover art) & Golden Hazel are both background humans from the "drama clique" who appear in the movie.

Mystery Manifests to Her.

Princess Twilight Sparkle was reading a book in her library tree.

“Twilight, Derpy sort of knows about the other world,” said Spike, “You know, the one we went to recently.”

“What?” said Twilight Sparkle, ”How?”

“She ‘sort of’ knows about it,” Spike then told Twilight what Derpy had told him earlier.

“She dreams of it?” said Twilight.

“I guess,” said Spike.

Canterlot High School's hallways were unusually empty. Empty except for Derpy.

‘Did I somehow miss a holiday?’ thought Derpy.

Watermelody walked into the hallway dragging a piano. Luckily for her, The piano was on wheels. It was a simple one, small enough to put inside a classroom without taking it over anyways.

“Derpy? What are doing here? Everyone’s got a few days off to recover from that thing,” said Watermelody.

“Really?” said Derpy. She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, ”Wait… then why are you here?”

Watermelody’s eyes darted back and forth. Sweat started to form on her brow.

“Um… Uh… I’m moving this piano… for reasons,” said Watermelody.

“Okay…” said Derpy.

An alicorn and a dragon stood in front of a peculiar house in Ponyville. It was a house on the ground, but it seemed to have a small cloud house growing out of its side on the second story.

"Are you sure we should break in to Derpy's house?" said Spike.

"This could be a scientific break-thru, Spike, it'd be a crime not to study this possibly unique subject," said Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Derpy didn’t know what to do with the rest of her day. She had planned it around the fact she would be in school that day. Eventually she decided to sneak into the school’s library and browse the books.

She stayed for hours. She even read thru all the released Daring Do books.

‘I wonder what it would be like if those adventures were real,’ thought Derpy.
After she ran out of both Daring Do books and read most of the comic books in the library she started to aimlessly wander the along the shelves. Derpy noticed a book that was askew compared to the others in its row.

Upon the books cover she could read the words “Provoking Thoughts” in a very large print and below those words she read “Delusions of Reality” in a smaller albeit still rather large print.
Curiosity overcoming her, Derpy picked up the book and began reading it.

"I can't believe we're doing this, " said Spike.

Spike and Twilight were in Derpy's house. They were in the ground-touching area of the house.

“Knowing pegasus traditions, the incongruous cloud part of the house is probably the bedroom,” said Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Derpy’s house was eerily empty on the inside. There were no personal decorations on any of the hallway walls. When they reached her room, Twilight found the few signs that somepony actually lived in the house. There was a picture with Derpy and all of her friends in it, it seemed that it was made of three separate pictures placed next to each other, Carrot Top was in it twice.
The other sign of life was the life herself.
Derpy was fast asleep in her bed.
Twilight entered the bedroom. Spike tried to enter the room, but backed out when his foot fell thru the cloud floor.

“Time to wake up a mysterious pegasus,” said Twilight.

Closer examination of the book revealed that ‘Provoking Thoughts’ was the name of the author, a woman from Fillydelphia. The book talked about how reality as we see it was merely an illusion and how other worlds exist on the very same plane of as this world. Derpy couldn’t bear to really finish it, she sat cross-legged on the ground when she started her read. She remained there and just stared off into the distances, contemplating her situation.

A loud thump echoed thru the nearly empty library.

“Swear word!” said the voice of Watermelody.

Derpy snapped out of her stupor and went to check to see what happened.

“Ugh, I thought transporting the piano would have been harder, but at least that had wheels!” said Watermelody.

Derpy approached where the sound had come from and tried to absorb the scene in front of her.
Watermelody was sitting on the ground and clutching her right foot. To her left there was a tuba case resting in a position that clearly showed that it wasn’t purposefully set down that way.

"Did you just drop a tuba on your foot, Watermelody?" Said Derpy.

"N-no," said Watermelody.

Watermelody stood up and lifted the tuba from its awkward position. She tried to walk while keeping her weight off of her right foot.

"Are you gonna be okay, Watermelody?" Said Derpy.

" Yeah sure," said Watermelody.

Derpy tried her best to stare at the limping girl carrying an evidently heavy tuba.

"Why are you moving instruments anyway?" said Derpy.

"Uh um uh, no reason..." said Watermelody.

Twilight poked the sleeping Derpy with her hoof.

“C’mon, wake up,” said Twilight.

Then she tried using her wing to tickle Derpy’s nose. When that didn’t work she tried yelling in her ear.

“Wake up!” said Twilight.

Then she tried vigorously shaking her.

“I, uh, I don’t think she’s going to wake up!” said Spike.

Twilight removed herself from Derpy’s bed, slumped, and let out a sigh.

“Yeah, you’re right, Spike,” said Twilight, “We’ll have to stay the night!”

Spike cupped his face in both of his claws.

Watermelody and Derpy were both sitting just a few feet from the library’s entrance. If there had been anyone going in, they’d have been trampled on. The Tuba was resting next to Watermelody in a more or less intentional orientation. Watermelody herself was wet with sweat and out of breath.

“I’ve been thinking, Watermelody,” said Derpy.

“Why… would you want… to do… that?” said Watermelody.

“Sometimes I... I’m not sure what’s real, ya know?” said Derpy, “I see the sunrise from both sides, both sides.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Watermelody, “That you have a counterpart in Asia or something?”

“Closer,” said Derpy, “and farther.”

“I always wonder what is. And I’m not sure you exist,” said Derpy.

“Gee, thanks,” said Watermelody.

Derpy had a nervous smile on her face.
She let out a weak, “Heh heh…”

Watermelody tried her best to look serious.

“Listen, about whatever it was you’re talking about,” said Watermelody, “It doesn’t matter, does it?”

“Huh?” said Derpy.

“Well, I mean, reality’s just more real,” said Watermelody, “Ya know?”
Derpy said nothing, but to herself she thought, ‘No.’

Author's Note

Added Princess Twilight Sparkle to the main characters list as she'll be a bit prominent from this point on.

Twilight Does Very Little Really, But Neither Does Anyone Else to be Fair.

Twilight Sparkle decided to do one last thing before she went back to her home and began making her side of the new portal. She decided to make talk with the humans.

“Um… hi there,” said Twilight Sparkle when she trotted on over to the group of humans messing around with her book.

“I still swear there’s something familiar about this book,” said Watermelody.

“Give it a rest, Watermelody, we don’t care anymore,” said Golden Hazel.

“I just wante-” said Twilight Sparkle.

“I care,” said Watermelody, pouting.

“... I just wanted to talk to you for a bit,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“What about?” said Atom.

“Oh nothing in particular,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I just wanted to get to know your culture a bit better.”

“There’s not much culture here,” said Golden Hazel, rubbing Watermelody’s hat down on her head while pushing it over her eyes.

“Hey!” said Watermelody, “Ffuf- pfuh puh, Takes one to know one!”

“She even admits it of herself,” said Golden Hazel, “She’s wrong about the part that equates her to me though.”

“Grrr,” said Watermelody right before she pounced on Golden Hazel, throwing them both to the ground.

“Eeek!” said Golden Hazel as that happened.

Princess Twilight Sparkle paused for a moment to look at the two tussle. Well, they didn’t really tussle so much as Watermelody lied on top of Golden Hazel while Golden Hazel called her fat but couldn’t seem to retaliate otherwise.

“Are you all like this?” said Twilight Sparkle.

“I sure hope not,” said Atom, “So, what sorts of advanced technology do you have?”

“Ooh! Our society just invented something grand!” said Twilight Sparkle, “We now have trains that can go up to thirty miles per hour!”

“... Up to?” said Atom, “... im… pressive.”

“I know, right?” said Twilight Sparkle.

“We have trains that can go up to two hundred miles per hour,” said Atom, “Not many though.”

“Trains can go that fast here?!” said Twilight Sparkle, “Wait… surely our measurements known as miles are different.”

Atom shrugged.

“Maybe,” said Atom.

“I’ll really need to look into the technology here,” said Twilight Sparkle, “And make some conversion charts.”

“Suit yourself,” said Atom.

Princess Twilight Sparkle looked back at Watermelody and Golden Hazel, they were still doing what they were doing when she last looked at them. Twilight decided that it was time for her to go back and start work. But first she picked up her book and realized something. She concentrated at it really hard before giving it to Sunset Shimmer.

“Um, goodbye all of you,” said Twilight Sparkle, turning back to all the humans.

“Goodbye,” said Atom as she left, “I just talked to an extra-dimensional being! Eee!”

“You talk to me all the time,” said Sunset Shimmer, who had snuck up behind him.

“Y-you’re different,” said Atom after he was done being startled by Sunset.

Sunset Shimmer just gave him a serious questioning look.

Time passed. The next day (in Ponyville) Princess Twilight Sparkle put the finishing touches on her side of the portal.

“Twilight, I think I should really let one of my bodies sleep,” said Derpy, “I kind of can’t sleep at all right now.”

“Hold on, Derpy,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I just finished the first ‘Derpy-Port’.”

“Derpy-Port?” said Derpy.

“Yes, a new kind of portal named after you,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I was able to replicate the magical signature of the mirror portal and infuse your DNA to the surface of the intended ‘doorway’.”
Princess Twilight Sparkle had been rubbing her hoof along the so called doorway as she spoke.

“If it’s finished, why isn’t your going thru it?” said Derpy.

“Sunset, hopefully, isn’t done with her side yet,” said Twilight Sparkle, “Which reminds me, I need you to contact her so you can tell her that I’ve finished my side.”

“Alright,” said Derpy, she then (on the human side) got up and went out of her room to retrieve her phone from where she kept it in the living room.
She looked thru her contact list until she was on ‘SunsetShim’, her phone only gave her ten characters before it ran out for contacts, and she selected to call her.

“What?” said Sunset Shimmer when she answered the phone.

“Twilight told me to tell you that she’s done with her side,” said Derpy.

“She’s probably wondering why I’m not done yet,” said Sunset Shimmer, “It takes longer to clone things with science, though I guess we don’t really need to clone your hair, do we?”

Derpy heard a voice that seemed to be where Sunset was that she couldn’t make out what it was saying. It sounded like Atom.

“Yes,” said Sunset Shimmer, “What I’m going to do is just take part of the lock you gave me and I’ll affix it to the intended surface.”

“Say, don’t you need to enchant something with the portal whatever to make this work?” said Derpy.

“Yes, but Twilight did cast a spell on this book,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m talking to you on the phone,” said Derpy.

“Oh right, she gave me the copy of ‘Pepper Pie’s Big Adventure’ that she threw thru the portal,” said Sunset Shimmer, “It has a spell cast on it that should copy the traits of the statue somewhat. The plan is to open a somewhat shaky portal at first so that Twilight can get over to this side and properly open the portal here.”

“Why didn’t we stay near the horse statue and mirror so that that wouldn’t be a problem?” said Derpy.

“We couldn’t really construct the proper containing frames there,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Well why didn’t Twilight go back home, take the readings of the portal’s signawhatever, go back to the human side and give you something properly stable?” said Derpy.

“I don’t know, she probably didn’t think of it,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Then how come I could think of it?” said Derpy.

“Maybe you’re smarter than her,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Oh,” said Derpy, she put down her phone, “Twilight, Sunset says I’m smarter than you!”

“WHAT?!” said Twilight Sparkle.

After maybe an hour Sunset Shimmer felt that she could say that she was done with her side. This was mainly because her hand fell thru the portal when she was done applying bits of Derpys hair on and around the book.

Sunset Shimmer dusted herself off.

‘That’s probably enough of a message to tell her to come over now,’ thought Sunset Shimmer.

“Ack!” said Twilight Sparkle, barely avoiding getting hit by a human hand, “I suppose that’s my cue.”

Twilight Sparkle went thru the new portal and came out the other end.

“I am SO relieved that worked,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Make it stable, princess,” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Right,” said Twilight Sparkle.

The first new portal was fully built on both sides. The portal was constant and stable. Now all that needed to be figured out was what needed to be done next.

“I can go tell the other princesses what I did, but how are you going to inform this world’s leaders about the portal, Sunset?”

“It’s not a perfect plan, but it’s a plan,” said Sunset Shimmer, “I’m going to tell the internet that I have a portal to a magic pony world in my room.

“No one will believe that,” said Atom, “even though it’s true.”

“I’m sure someone will investigate, even if they are just planning to mock me or send me to the loony bin,” said Sunset Shimmer, “Oh how I can’t wait to see the look on their face when I actually do go thru the portal.”

Atom and Twilight wondered if getting a shocked look was the real reason Sunset decided to go about telling the world the way she did.

Maybe.

Princess Twilight Sparkle returned to the library.

“I’m back,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I’ll need to have Spike take a letter when he wakes up.”

“Hey Twilight,” said Derpy, “There’s something I really want to do.”

“What?” said Twilight Sparkle.

Derpy told her.

“Okay, just let me move the portal to the basement and take a few more mane samples,” said Twilight Sparkle, “Safety reasons.”

Sunset Shimmer and Derpy were walking to where Sunset lived. Derpy had called her again and said that she needed to be near the portal.

“Why do you need to be near the portal right now?” said Sunset Shimmer.

“Let’s just say that I really want to get to know myself,” said Derpy.

“Twilight,” said Derpy, “I’m at Sunset’s now, push me on thru.”

Princess Twilight Sparkle did as she was told to do and the pony Derpy was sent to the other side.

Derpy saw herself emerge from the portal. Sunset fully realized what Derpy meant about getting to know herself, but she had guessed as much.
Human Derpy walked over to Pony Derpy and knelt. She had to see herself. She had to see herself both ways.
Human Derpy removed the blindfold on Pony Derpy. She screamed while she tried to hold in her agony and forced herself to look. She did her best to look at herself. She saw the truth, she was finally certain. She closed all four eyes tight. Derpy hugged herself, and she hugged back.

Derpy weeped.

“It’s real,” said Derpy, her bodies still held tightly together and her eyes tightly shut, “Everything is real.”