Rectal Shreckage
The air was damp and chilly as Spring was just around the corner. "Come out we know you're there!" yelled Tirek, he was bent on an idea for quite some time. "Your time is over ogre!" he taunted the lord and savior.
"Now Tirek," Discord chimed in, "you can't expect him to come to you that way now do you?" Discord gazed at the red centaur thing that he called a friend. Discord poofed up the most vile drink in the known universe, Purple Flurp. The very presents of the drink sent chills down both of their backs.
"Well," Discord gulped, "bottoms up I suppose". He tipped back the can letting the horror rush down his throat, but it was too much even for the god of chaos himself. Discord spat out the Purple Flurp, it made a hissing sound as it hit the cold cement floor of the alley.
Tirek rolled his eyes at the fool, even he knew it was far beyond him to even try such an evil thing, Discords actions truly wondered him. "Well it appears the big fat ugly smelly dreck ogre isn't going to appear," Tirek rolled his eyes, this was the 12th night in a row that Shrek had not appeared.
"Oh well who really cares what that dreck as fuck ogre can do, we are both strong than he could even imagine," Discord hissed curling his talon hand into a fist. Tirek whipped his head back in laughter, he know the ogre lord wouldn't stand a chance.
"Ah yes that is true," Tirek mumbled as he kissed his metal, it was Jimmy Neutrons head, it gave Tirek hope and power. "That dreck as fuck ogre would shrivel up like a vile onion if he faced us!" Tirek shouted to no one but himself.
"Who you callin dreck laddie?"
The two turned around to see him, the all mighty ogre lord. His sheer glory blinded Discord and reminded Tiek how tiny his penis was. Tirek now felt sad and enraged at the same time. "This is my swamp!" Shrek shouted as he flung his dick at the two, Tirek managed to duck but it hit Discord and went straight through him. "Ghhk," Discord tried to yell for help in vain. Shrek's mighty shrock stuck out of Discords mouth. Tirek was now frightened, that could of been him.
"Fight me you smelly ogre!" Tirek shouted. Tirek waved his hand around creating a sword made of pure Farquaadium, the most dreck element in the entire multiverse! "Haha," Tirek cackled as he rushed the holy ogre. Shrek sung his huge ogresized shrock and shattered the sword. It sent shards flying everywhere, but the shards froze midair and flew at Shrek. Shrek summoned an onion force field that deflected all the Farquaadium shards and turning all of the shards into onions.
"Play time is ogre," Shrek said quietly as he brought all the onions together, Tirek watch as all the onions merged into 1 giant onion.
"Oh no," Tirek mouthed as the Mega super shrektastic onion was formed.
"GET OUTA ME SWAMP!" Shrek yelled as he threw the onion at Tirek, it was moving far to fast for anyone to hope to dodge. Tirek was hit head on and black out from the ogrediven onion. Tirek gasped as he awoke and got to his feet, but he was too slow once again. Shrek outstretched his hands and grabbed Tirek. "Play time is ogre!" Shrek yelled.
Tirek tried in vain to get away but it was useless, he prepared his anus. Shrek threw Tirek onto his mighty member instantly causing blood to gush from Tireks virgin rectum. "AHH OH LORD PLEASE STOP!" Tirek shouted as the pain was to intense for even him, but it was to late. Shrek thrust the rest of the way in ripping apart Tireks bowels and rectal walls with Discords horns.
"I'm going to cum laddie!" Shrek let out a mighty ogre roar as he shot his swampy semen deep inside of Tirek. Instantly Tirek began to bubble. "NO W-WHAT DID YOU DO?!?" Tire yelled as he bubbled away feeling a white hot searing pain rush through his body.
"My onion seed was too much for you laddie," Shrek said and he flexed his cock tearing Discord apart. Then in a thick green fog he vanished. Tirek withered away into nothing. Discord died. Justice was served.
One week passed before anyone noticed. Fluttershy came to the alley to pay her tribute to Discord. She began to urinate on the ground where Discords shredded remains lay. Discord was always into that kind of thing, but hey I don't judge. As the urine trickled into the mouth of the now decaying god his body began repairing itself. Fluttershy's pee was bringing Discord back form beyond the grave!
"Mmm," Discord signed as he stood up, "tasty so good". Fluttershy squealed as she saw Discord was once again living.
"Oh Discord I'm so glad you're back!" Fluttershy beamed as she rushed over to Discord jumping into his arms. From that day one Discord knew he would respect Shrek, and have casual sex with Fluttershy whenever he could.
*3days later*
Twilight walked up to Fluttershy's door to return some lotions she borrowed, Twilight felt if she used lotions maybe someone would want to bang her (it didn't). She was about to knock until she heard something from inside, it was Fluttershy's voice.
"Oh come on is that the best you got? My dead mum could do better, I can't even believe you consider that things a cock. Even fucking Twilight could do better! That clumsy, asocial, stuck up, egghead who will never get laid could do better than you!"
Twilight dropped the lotions by her door and ran home crying, she then cut herself, listened to cold play, and drank strawberry smoothies to numb her pain. She also shot up like 50 kilos of ketamine.
The end.
Shrek is love,
Shrek is life.
