A Song of Fire and Steel.
Chapter 1: The Devil Came For His Price
Another day that I have to be ready to lead on with lies, with a mind that that the superiors tried to fill with lies about freedom, honor and "democracy" in order to make the world safer. Another day that, even when I was surrounded by people, I still feel all alone and empty on the inside. My only company was the sounds of busting from the guns. And the only thing that could comfort me was the smell of the burned powder and the taste of alcohol roaming next to my toungue, travelling through my throat.
I wasn't born to think of anyone that my own reward and pride, and please the one who gave me that reward. It doesn't bother me live like this pretty much, maybe It was by the pathetic alcoholic slag that I was, that same as a stupid ostrich; I thought that just by bury my head on the ground all the problems would banish from my life.
I was wrong. They always stay to haunt you for the rest of your life, unless you have the guts to get them out from there.
As always on everyday, I sit on my couch, watching the T.V. with some beers next to me, as usual, and wait for my boss to call me so I can finish another day of job. And the rest of the day... do nothing than just wait for the next day to repeat the process.
And must of this is because... Before my marriage I didn't have any friends to hangout with. I have some friends but... They weren't exactly the kind of cool or good people to lunch, or even take a walk. But after my marriage, I though everything was going to be different, that I would have a nice house, a good job, a son to play with and give some father and son talks like in the movies and T.V. shows... I learned that life is a bitch from time in time, and it would punish you without recieving nothing in change.
Passing the years the love and care banish from our relationship, leaving nothing more than a trace of endless fighting... arguing... hating... I didn't know why, even when both of know where the drift of our relationship was going, there was something that keep us together. Something that even when we got to bear each other, we managed to get over it and continue with our lifes, faking that everything was ok.
Then I remember the reason of that, every time that I see her green, big, beautiful eyes... My daughter, Lily. From all my whole life, she was the only person who stand aside me everytime that I came home crushed and tired, always recieving me with a smile and affection when I needed it the most. And she was the only one that, even about my problem, she was the only one who forsaken me of my mistakes. I have to say that I loved her most than my wife, I loved more than anything and anyone that I could ever meet in my life.
But since I started working on "The Business", expecting that my life changed for good. It actually turned out to bad. It dehumanizes you. Nothing mattered for me, not unless I have my key to escape from hell. When I was tired, I drink. When I was stressed, I drink. And when I was pretty sure that drinking would banish my problems only for a moment until I recover myself and see that I just make a deal with the Devil that in the end everything would be much more fucked up... I drink.
Thanks to my problem, my life was reduced to nothing more than being a parasite on something that used to be my family. I was so selfish by never think about my daughter in those moments. Seeing her scared expression everytime it sees me barely able to stand, or yelling to my wife. And even when she forgiven my mistakes, I just keep going of being the same piece of shit, over and over again.
And now after a long time, the devil came to retrieve his price... One moment in one day, I was doing the same lame routine that I always do waiting the moment to die, ending up on some godforsaken place where I was pretty sure I would be use as food of the rats wandering around. And suddenly turning home I see how the few things that really should matter for me, banished from my life.
I couldn't handle a situation like that, knowing the fact that I wasn't able to survive without both of them. I didn't know where I could be able to gain will of life... But then I just turned my sight on the fridge... I have nothing to lose anyway, so I just restart the cycle. I didn't have a soul to burn anymore...
And now... After a lot of years ago, you will find me most of the times sitting on the couch watching T.V. depressed, drowning my problems. I was just so disgraceful to see. My clothes were dirty, I didn't shave my beard in years... I can't even tell the last time I take a shower. In resume, I was a waste of life.
But one of those nights, I was watching T.V. as always did, my cellphone ring while I was finishing a beer, I didn't put much attention to it until I swallow the last drop of alcohol on it... "The Boss" was calling. I was tired of this job, but looking at the expectance of life I have, I didn't have much options than just get over it.
"Hello?" I answered, expecting to do the same thing as always: Get called, recieve orders, get the work done... There is no rest in this job.
I just wanted to finish that cycle, atleast for a moment. But in those depressing days, I could only give to myself peace by putting a rope around my neck. But after so much... After so much punishment, everything was worth when I finally hear the words from him, those precious words that I just repeated over and over again, rolling my tounge repeating those words on my subconscious. Over and over again...
"We have another job for you and your platoon," I sighed and listened what the men was going to say.
But I already knew what he was going to say, so I just didn't put much importance on it, and so; I picked a can of beer while holding the cellphone, and waited to the cycle to start again...
"Our client preffer to stay in cover and be only reffered to him as "Mr. Pack". The comunist party of China are supporters of a mafia, that their main incomings are from the market of slaves, fugitives of the North Korean dictatorial regime.
"You need to reunite on the South Korean border outpost, more details will be given there. For now, you must flight to South Korea on December 13. You are on your own to find a way to Korea, being by boat or being by plane. You must get there before the time ran out," He ordered me, while I was changing channels and not putting pretty much attention to the call.
I was surprised that this time somebody required our service not for a selfish manner as cleaning an oil plant raided by some people of the desert, wanting to please their wallets baptized Allah by killing innocent and manipulating their media to say that was for good or religious reasons because our people desecrate their land, or stuff like that.
Part of it was truth... But still, I was expecting a big reward for such a mission like this that required, otherwise: invade a country.
It was the season of the christmas holidays, and being such a depressive and sad time of the year, where the pressure and greed that massacres with no mercy; people that had the curse to live a life with a family of greedy scavengers, or not "having the luck" to even have that, I expected that my reward was worth it.
"Daniel, I know you and your squad were working on this for a far long time, now it's time to pay you back for your loyalty. All of your squad are going to be reunited with their respective families before the mission get started, same as you," I take a drink from my beer, I don't give any interest of what the others were going to do, I just cared about what I was going to recieve...
But for what he said, it could only mean one thing... Two things that you need to know from my boss, things that even on his anonymity, you could still learn pretty much about how his mind work.
First of all: He Is an ass when you don't make the work exactly how he ordered to you. And I don't wan't to remember that poor lad that joined us, trying to find easy money like the punk he was, and tried to do the work on his on way. And after that; he casually had an accident. Or atleast it was what the media said. I can tell you that was a lie because; I was the one who had to do the dirty job.
And second and last point: He is very generous if you are loyal and make the work exactly opposite, by not doing what that kid did. But still, he has the whole universe against him.
Well... I don't know if I'm able to talk for the population of this dimension, but I'm sure about that: if he put a feet on this place, somehow, I'm sure he would be hunted down by every criature or living being on this map.
"You will reunite with your daughter on days: 10, 11 and 12 of December, on Manhattan, New York. You will reunite on this direction..." After those words... I get shocked, I put my beer on the table in front of me and my T.V. and distracted by the idea of seeing her again... My mind just blown in that moment. I don't see her really often since I worked on this "business".
Everything just teared appart after that, and a snowslide of problems came. But all of that stuff didn't matter anymore to me, I was finally able to see my daughter, after so much.
I turned back to reality, and I heared as much as I could of the instructions given, and after he finished talking I thanked him. I mean, I know I said before that if i got the chance to put my hands on his neck, and finish his life; I would do it with no remorse. And I know that by the time limit it would be nothing more than just two or three days.
But making something like this for me.. even if it was just two days with her, It would be more than enough to make me the most happiest man ever in this world, and it could bring me some peace in my life too, for a while atleast. But atleast I would have an excuse to loose that rope on the ceiling.
"Daniel-" He said before hanging out the call. "-Yes, sir?" I answered.
"This is important, so; make no mistake. There is a lot of money on the reward on this contract, don't screw it." After that, the call ended.
That last words left a bad taste of mouth, but my mind was centered on the stuff that I needed to get ready before I left. Stuff like take a shower and arrange my appearance. And buy a present for my daughter.
I remember how that night go... I backpacked some stuff before leaving that pigpen where I used to live, and I was ready to see my daughter. I prepared some stuff for her, I know she likes an animated serie called My Little Pony: Friendship is magic.
I knew a bit from that show, because I found, in one way or another, publishing from it. And because my daughter Lily used to love it, and so we liked to watch the series together sometimes when I wasn't drunk at all. Call me crazy but... I actually liked it.
I know how you will react: "¿How can an adult like me could like a show made for children?". Well... You have to see it, so you can believe it.
I liked the show because... I don't know. Maybe, just maybe... Mixing the fact that the world were that ponies live, it was just... Perfect. No violence, nor war... Just family and friendship that was just... Magic. Just like the title of the show says.
Well, of course it has some fights and action moments, compared to other "childish" shows it was pretty much hardcore, specially mentioning the fact that it was aired on Discovery Kids, and there was one character, King Sombra.
He might be the only villian who actually "died" on the show, but... Even after going through moments like that, they just get by it and continue living on harmony. I wanted to make a world like that for both of us...
I buy her a toy. Her favorites ponies were: "Applejack"; a strong pony who was always there when you need it, and a special pony that could carry on with proud his "cutiemark" of Honesty.
The second one, but not least beloved, was "Fluttershy"; she might get scared easily, and she is the one who made less on the show by her fears, but still, she was always there when asked, and she would stay and support and help as much as she can until the end.
And on third and last place, but again, not least beloved, "Derpy". I can't tell pretty much a summary from this character, just that it has some funny eyes, and it appears more like a background character more than having an important role on the show but... My daughter just loved her.
Maybe it was by her funny look, or because on her first appearance she showed us her potential as a character, being clumsy and cute at the same time. Maybe that was why she won a place on my daughter's heart, and maybe in some other people's heart too.
I didn't have pretty much money to buy all that three toys from the three characters in that night before seeing her, but im pretty sure she will love to see atleast one of them, but she ain't cared pretty much about recieving gifts, but I just wanted to make that christmas eve perfect for us.
I bought her a Teddy Derpy that I know she would love it, and bought the movie of My Little Pony: Equestria Girls. I didn't know what it would be from that movie, but it would be interesting to see humans on the show.
I took my flight to N.Y. I can't really tell how the fly was. I was tired in the moment I get in, and pretty anxious about what will happen the next day. So I decided to relax and sleep as fast as possible... Oh God, I just couldn't believed that this moment were truly happening.
I was just so happy when I see her on the airport when I arrived. I even remember how she ran at me saying: "Dad!" and seeing her smile when I gave her the Teddy Derpy, it was just... I can't describe how good it feel to seeing her that happy, specially on this christmas eves.
But two other people was next to her; my ex-wife, and his boyfriend. We didn't have contact on a long time, so I can't tell that we have a sane relationship, because the only memories we left to each other were nothing more than argues, fights... Badmouthing...
My family life it wasn't like a fairy tale at all. But such happiness that I will live in something about 2 or 3 days were the most happiest moments of my life.
Before I started to spend time with her, me and my ex-wife, with his new boyfriend next to her we organize the terms and conditions about where I was allowed to take her, and her schedule of sleep. And she told us that she and her boyfriend would be not so far away from where I was staying, so she gave me her, and his number, so I could call them in case that I need it, and don't let her sleep late, or not let her to eat much candies...
Screw it, I ain't losing any time with her, I would spend my time with her as much as I can and I would give to her the best days of his life with me. So I didn't resign to the rules she ordered me to obey.
They helped me and my daughter, to install ourselves on the new appartment where we were going to stay. When my daughter came in that room, she get really excited of seeing the place where she would stay. And before she were able to talk, I put in front of her the Teddy Derpy, and even more excited: she took it and hug me after that, and she kissed my cheek before she started to run over the place with a smile on her face, carrying her new mate. I have to say that I was impressed by the fancy place that my boss get to us. The walls, the doors, the room... It was perfect for us.
Me and my ex-wife, looked at her proudly and with joy of seeing her so happy, it almost feeled like if we were a family again. But this time, the family life that I always wanted. Then his boyfriend broke up the atmosphere by asking where was the bathroom.
I crossed eye sight many times with that "new boyfriend" of hers, and as much as I did that, as much as I wanted to break his nose. His eyes turned troubled when I, bothered, cross sights with him after he interrupt us. He already know what was happening, but I let the bastard be.
We continue with organizing the luggage on their respective places, and then we settled the content of this on their places. But just after we finished, my ex-wife boyfriend tried to help carrying a grey baggage inside the appartment, but I barely see him inside the place carrying THAT baggage, my second and last baggage, I rapidly took it off from his hands and I kept eye contact offensively.
"Please Daniel, don't start a fight now. Not with our daughter watching us," said my ex-wife. My daughter got scared by the tension of the moment that I, violently, took the baggage and kept an angry face against him, like being ready to take the first strike.
At the moment that I hear her words, I turned my sight to my daughter. Seeing her like that makes me remember the reason why I lose her in first place. So I think over my actions and slowly give back my baggage to him, even if I didn't like the idea.
After we finished organizing all the stuff, my ex-wife and his boyfriend leaved the appartment, but not without remind me to call her in case of an emergency. I just nod my head a bit tired and sick of her repeated advise and answered yes to everything.
After all of this, It was when the fun started. I remember taking her to malls, were we played around and watched the My Little Pony toys, and the serie together. And playing around in central park, and watching the animals on the central park zoo. And before going home we bought lots of candies and pastries to make our own sleepovers watching the serie of My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. That moments... were just priceless.
We manage to see Rainbow Dash making the "Sonic Rainboom", we watched the funny adventures of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and the episode where Apple Jack and her family made some apple cider and every one turned crazy for it...
They were the most beautiful moments of my life, I really don't wanted this little heaven to be over. In our last night together, we watched the movie of My Little Pony together, laying on a bed together under a blanket and some pillows, making some kind of camp tent, with the candies spread all over, and her teddy Derpy close to her. We laught, we played and we smile together, wanting this night to be eternal. Funny thing for me was that the human form of Sweetiebelle, kinda ressembled her.
But good things never last forever...
We watched the animation until she slowly felt asleep, and I gently picked her up and I softly laid her on the bed where she was watching the T.V. I wrap her up with a blanket together with Derpy, and I gave her a kiss on her forehead before turning off the T.V. with the remote controller next to me, and I started picking up all the candies spreaded.
I picked up my baggage that was next to the bed, and when I was outside the room I turn off the lights and slowly, I closed the door "Good night, sweetheart," I whispered as I finish closing the door.
I recieve a message in my cellphone... It was her mother. I misplace the track of time on those days that we spend together playing around. But knowing that all was over... I couldn't take it. I left my cellphone on a drawer, and shocked, I let my baggage fall into the floor.
I lead to the kitchen, and opened a bin where I hid some drinks from my daughter and my ex, where I gave to me the pleasure to drink on the nights, when nobody could see me. I calmly, manage myself to sit on a couch and open the bottle full of beer. And, as always: I tried to escape from my problems and reallity, through drinking. I don't remember how many drinks did I take, but I think I pass out from my actual limit, and I blackout for a moment.
I hear someone knocking at the door. Damn... My head ached like crazy, and my senses wasn't working correctly as they suppose to do. But with effort, I manage to walk until I was facing the door.
My coordination with my hands wasn't the best at the moment, but with my effort I managed to open the door. Even on my actual state, I knew everything would tear appart.
My ex-wife barely finished opening the door, I stumble against wall. This startle her and asked what was wrong with me, but I barely stand up on my feet and tried to make an story to cover it. But my mouth stank with booze so strong enough, that without asking, she get in to the room and looked at the empty bottles of beer spreaded on the floor. "Where is Lily?" She said frightened by the fact of finding myself drunk and barely conscious of my actions, and what I may done to our daughter. Like a lot stupid things I did under the influence of booze, and damage that I did to people. But this time... I deserved a medal of the biggest asshole of the year.
"She is sleeping..." I answered, leaning on a cabinet next to me, barely understandable. She didn't even ask wich door lead to the room where she was sleeping, she just lead to the first door she saw, and managed to get in. The appartment has many doors that leaded to different rooms, and most from that doors leaded to others room that looked almost the same, the same sistem of entertaintment, and almost the same decoration. So for my ex-wife, my daughter could pick any bed, there wasn't any guest to stay with us and she liked to pick all the pillows from the other beds, so she could build her own fort in any random room that were on her sight. They were the same for her.
She failed to find the bedroom many times, but when she almost put hand on the knob of the door leading to the bedroom where Lily was resting, I take her from the wrist and struggle with her. "What are you doing!?-" She managed to fight back "-Let me go!"
I was in no state to reason with words. "You ain't gonna take her away from me," I told her with murderous eyes on her. We struggle, but she wasn't so strong as me, It didn't take me much to drag her on the table where the bottles of beer stand and. And so, I take her down on the table, breaking some glass bottles from the beer over it, and manage to choke her.
Lily heared the noise coming from outside her room, and I make her pass through another, and the worst thing I have done to her... Making her saw how her beloved and loving father, turned into a monster, thirsty of blood in matter of one bottle recently drink. Lily got startled and cried as seeing how I tried to pull out her mother's life, through my fingers around her neck. She forgive me before for staying on bars late, and drinking out of control in our home before, but this time... I cross the fucking limit.
She was trying to pull us appart, but their attempts were in vain. She didn't have the force enough to push someone of my size and weight, and less someone on an unstoppable frenzy, wich senses were numbed, consequence of the abuse of alcohol. In one of her attempts to help her mother, I smacked her on her frail face...
"Dad..." She said in a fraightened voice, staring at me with her green eyes, shocked and spilling tears, while touching her open wound on her cheek.
I stare at her, and barely reasoning, I slowly let her mother go. But she was barely able to move, she picked up one bottle of the bottles that were spreaded on the floor, and full of anger and of rage, she smacked it against my head. After that... I was left stunned and bleeding out over my knees. All alone... Again.
I don´t know if the capability of the strike with the bottle to cause me pain make me react, but... In those moments that feeled eternal, I was able to settle my mind and realize the huge mistake that just I make in that moment. I stand up from the pool of blood where I remain, and tried to sit on the couch with the shards of glass from the bottle, still on my head. And I spend my last moments in that department before I had to leave to Korea. After that...live for the next 40-50 years till the day of my death. I hoped it were less by my habits.
I stand up on my feet as posible, and picked up the grey baggage that I left next to the couch, and I opened. I take out from it a SCAR-H, a silencer and an ACOG sight. I slowly assemble the weapon with those two features, and I saw the rifle...
I watch every detail... Every trace of paint, every scratch due to wear... And every memory from the things that I did with it came to my mind. I keep repeating those memories until I react to see the blood getting spilled from my head.
I get inside the bathroom to pick some painkillers and bandages from the cabinet behind the mirror. I stopped in a moment to see my reflection on it. Have ever you watched yourself on the mirror, after crying a lot, and see yourself with red eyes and that permanent depressive expresion over your face, and feel ashamed to see yourself on that state? Well... I felt the same thing... I breaked the glass with my fist and I proceed to heal myself to finally want to throw myself to the bed where my daughter was sleeping.
Barely seconds pass when I opened that door, I saw the teddy that I bought for her... I sit over the bed and I picked up that teddy pony, and putting my hand on his face, I started to cry. I spend the rest of that night feeling sorry for her, and crying, finding comfort on that teddy, still remembering while feeling the fur, all the happiness that I bring to her and how in matter of seconds I managed to destroy it. And this teddy was the only thing remaining of her inocense and happiness...
The cold and shocked expression of my daughter, and how her cheek spilled that drop of blood in the ground didn't stop to flash in my mind as long as I keep looking at the teddy... I'm so sorry... The blanket felt so cold... I picked up Derpy and curl up on that bed, until I finally fell asleep. All what really matter in my life disappear from it... Again.
The next morning I picked up my flight to South Korea, and on the airway, I can't stop remembering how she looked at me. I let myself have the freedom of cry in silence, I didn't care if other notice, because that left a wound on my soul that I won't be able to take off. And still, I can't stop repeating that memory; Memory that grooms my whole day up to date.
I could see that there was a storm outside the plane, It made some turbulence on the aircraft, but nothing severe. The other passengers were sleeping already and the lights of the plane was turned off, so the only one that were active on that plane was me and the pilots of the plane. But I wasn't on the mood to talk to someone else and I wasn't able to talk to them neither.
The ambient was getting boring and my eyelids were getting heavy, I have to accept it sooner or later that it was over, I couldn't stay like this forever. I was already prepared to say make harm to an allie or an enemy, and let's be realistic; we already knew that this moment it was going to come soon or later with my alcoholism trouble, but it was more easy to think about it than going through that feelings.
Some hours passed away... It must be like 2 or 3 A.M. right there, and I was already dreaming with my eyes open. But something ran out in front of my mind.
Something in that moment, something just felt... Wrong, like if death was coming from far away. The time was running out, and my anxiety of staying sober didn't help much in the moment. I look out on the window to see if were able to watch something unusual.
False alarm. Everything was fine at the moment. Few time passed before I closed my eyes, but something got my attention again.
This time I could feel it... No. This time I was even able to see it.
Not much far away from us, there was a plane getting straight to our direction. The storm was heavy, and turbulence just go from bad to worse. But still, I was able to see that plane by the lights coming out from it.
It didn't stop, it didn't even bothered to turn around. It was just following his way against us. The turbulance started to crumble the whole plane. The lights were turned on, and the package was falling around in the plane. Lucky me that I always carry my baggage next to me, it doesn't matter the placer.
The passengers got alarmed by the confusion and fear, they tried to avoid the package that was falling off and tried to stay steady against the turbulence. But not much were so lucky with the rain of package.
Every try to stay calm was made in vane. They barely turned to see the plane that was coming on our direction, a light striked us merciless, tearing appart half of the plane, together with the other aircraft that crashed with us.
Parts left from the plane, and every passenger and crew member, ended on a free fall. But even scared and confused, wherever I was falling, it wasn't on the appointed land crash. Much I could see from the skies, it was nothing more than pure darkness on the sky, still, pretty much different from the skies I was flying over.
Everyone on that plane, including me, landed on the dark waters from that infinite ocean that we were floating right then. I don't know if there was someone able to see that I saw in that moment. I don't even know if the others even survived when I leave. Everyone was shocked about what happened, they didn't mind where they were located right then, they just acted on what their instincts command them in order to survive.
Swim, like if there is no tomorrow. I don't know if they saw it too but... Something... Something was lurking far away on the dark clouds, where the lightings spawned. It was a cloud of monumental size but...
The shape that "cloud" have, and how I listened to that thing roar, everytime a lighting were heard... It was when I realize that, whatever that was; it was pretty much alive, and really pissed off.
I see how a lot of the crew from the plane, and part of the passenger were dragged to the deeps of the sea. But it didn't pass much time for another lighing to strike, just right in front of me. I get blinded for some few seconds, but once my eye's sight got clear, I could see that I was falling again.
I was sitting on my seat of the plane with my baggage and some scraps left from the plane. The grey clouds didn't let me see my location, but on my situation, not much will get bothered about it. And it didn't matter even more, because when I finally cross the clouds, I was able to see pretty clear that there was land right below me. I was convinced that this would be the end...
I tighted as much as posible my seatbelt and I stick to me as much as I could my baggage, in any hope that this could stop the fall, or atleast minimize the pain.
After a short period falling I felt how the hard ground hit below my seat... And how my legs make a cracking sound in less of a second... And feel how my nape inflect against the seat, and see how all light turned off...
I could see nothing but pure darkness...
Or atleast I did for moment...
A Song of Fire and Steel.
Chapter 1: The Devil Came For His Price
Chapter 2: This Strange New World
I opened my eyes... The light of the sun blinded my sight, I didn't believe in religious stuff or something, so even after that fall... feel how my legs teared up from my body in instants... Seeing that light... But feeling the beat of my heart coming from my chest, and hear my hard breathing, and listen to the silent sound that one does that makes you know, even in the most dense darkness and silence... I couldn't believe it... I was alive. But I can't say the same of the others...
It hurt everytime I breath, and I felt how in every move and any breath, how the bones of my spine sliced with no mercy the flesh surrounding it, and how my ribs stabs my lungs everytime it expanded... I can barely breath without tasting the blood on my gullet...
My legs... My fucking legs... I never felt so cold in my life. Neither that cold water from that dark sea can't stand against this cold that I'm feeling in this moment. I coudn't move nothing but my eyes... There was something strange on me. Even through my blinded eyes, I managed to see how some kind of... "aura", surround me. The plane and the corpses, were distorted by it. My life depended in that moment on how much I would be able to endure if I really wanted to manage to live, or end this nighmare.
The bag with my weapons is just next to me... The pain was intense, and that glow just make me feel much worst. I'm not going to wait any second further of this torture, I can finish the suffering now... My key to escape this suffering was so close to me...
I was so close of end this hell... I would be able to if it were not for that pitching noise that burst my senses, and that... "aura", didn't help at all. Atleast not for that moment...
I felt how my flesh burned, and my wounds...! The enviroment was girded by that aura that turn negative the colors, and all that corpses that used to be alive, and inanimated things; they just... It banished... The corpses... their flesh teared appart from the bones, and what remained in the ground it turned into dust. The rest of the plane... was no more in matter of seconds... Nothing more than just little scrubs...
And my grey bag... Shit! It can't be, I can't lose it! It is my only hope to get out of here, but the pain... I couldn't do more than just watch how my last hope was disappearing in front of my eyes, seeing how the enviroment that came with me to this place, were banishing by how the glow reduced slowly, dragging with it everything and everyone that used to be alive.
Barely the borders from that glow cross me, I fainted...
I think... that same day... I can tell by the position of the sun and the orange of the skies that it is late already, hopefully it wasn't so much time before something or someone from this land, try to kill me... It won't be the first time it happens.
With effort and barely aware of my senses, I get on my feet. That glowing thing wasn't here anymore, but I wasn't so aware of it until I saw my grey bag where I carry my stuff... "Thank god!" I remember that I shout to the skies hopeful that maybe... Just maybe... I wasn't lost of any hope of survive on this place. Then I just remember, my wounds! But... They were gone! I can't tell the big reliefe, but in a same way, the confusion that I felt in that moment. The wounds, they were crust! most of it has healed almost completely. And it doesn't even hurt when I touch it!
I was so impressed of this... I don't know how this happened but... I think, that maybe that "glow" or... "Aura" thing has something to do with it. But now all that matters now is that I'm alive, and now I have to find my way back to home.
I take my back and I opened it, I sighed in relief that most of my things where just exactly how I leave it before I enter to that plane. Until I checked the state of the content. My Makarov, part of it banished with the glow, and lets not talk about how much it dragged from the cannon. I just throw it away.
My knife, it was dull, and was a little bit rusty, and same as the Makarov, part of it were dragged. Atleast I could save it until I find a way to sharpen it from the edges left of steel. I will keep that.
The last one, my SCAR-H. I prayed even to entities I didn't know that this weapon were fine. I thanked so much that it was right, even the ACOG sigh wasn't damaged, neither the bipod next to it. I wasn't so lost at all. I opened the box of magazine, so I can check the state of the inside. "Shit!" I grunted. From the 20 bullets that were supposed to be inside, just 13 or 10 was in it.
I got startled, I take out everything from the bag so I could check for the other magazines I left, but I just turn them upside-down to check it's state. But it was empty... "This can't be truth!" I yelled as I keep taking the other boxes of magazines, just to see how my hopes gone everytime I keep seeing the empty cartridges.
I despair, and started hitting the ground with my fists. ¿How am I suppose to be able to survive with no more than 10 bullets left in only one box of magazine, and just with one rusty and dull knife? I let myself hit the ground and once my back touch the grass, I put my hands on my head and started to take deep breaths and count to 10, or something that could help me to calm down. I needed a drink so badly in that moment.
I was so lost of hope, and I would really kill anybody for having a beer on my hands. I took long and deep breaths, every second count, seconds interrupted by the buzzing sound of bug wings next to me... I turned around to see what was making that sound, but when I saw it... I couldn't believe that this was real...
A parasprite! Like the ones from the show! I just... I coudn't believe that. Seeing that thing... It make me though that... maybe one of my biggest dreams may came true...! Being on a peaceful world, live a peaceful life... Everything that I could ever dream and imagine about... The answer to everything, was just in front of me...! But... what about my daughter?
I always make her the promise when we were together that, even though it's impossible to go to Equestria, being nothing more than a universe maded by the mind of a human being for the entertainment of the children, I would make her world be so shiny and happy as possible, and make her feel like the most beautiful princess of her own Equestria. But all of that crap is nothing more than just a children show... Isn't it...?
As long as I keep making eye contact with that thing, as long as my mind get over loaded with questions that were making me doubt if I was dead or something. But feeling the dirt on my knees, feel the air filling my lungs, and how my tired legs palpitate every time my blood travel around my sistem, and feeling that "thing" presence so physically real and alive... It didn't stop to burst my mind into pieces of the excitement. I even dare to touch that parasprite and feel the texture of it's skin, just to realize if it was real.
For my surprise and fear, that thing felt more than real. I can't tell if this was good or bad for me for my own reasons... But it didn't mattered what I though, because one thing will always be look the same for both, pony and human... This things will always be parasites.
I barely touch that thing, it started to fly around me, I could clearly see how that bug had on his aim on my knife, and barely that prick lay his thin, fragile and small legs on the blade of the knife; the parasprite attempted to take a chomp from the steel. Good that I was fast enough to avoid my knife get bite, but instead, my hand were the one who recieve the damage.
That thing bite like hell...! I coudn't believe that I could be able to get harmed by anything in this place... But when I the marks of the bite on my hand dropping blood... I realize that, why the fiction stay as that. As pure fiction. Because, when I looked at my hand bleeding, I remembered why I didn't belong here. Because here, I could still recieve damage, but from ways that I can't even imagine on this magical and fantastic world. And the violence of the battles in this universe, plus the fragility that a human being could be compared to this beasts, plus that I didn't have the best selections of tools to survive, didn't let me so much chances to raise steps on the evolutionary chain.
I picked up my rifle, fired at will trying to hit the target, leaving me with something no more from one or two bullets left. A bullet finally got him, and what was left from that circle bug was nothing more than some kind of green goo, I think it would be his blood...
I could not claim victory so fast... When I tried to inspect the remains left of the parasprite, I hear how a whole hive was coming to my position. I didn't have more option than run, and so I did.
Two or three days I survived here since that incident... And still it feel like an eternal punishment for what I did. I still carry the scars while i'm writing this, seeing that scar, as a reminder that I don't belong here and how it was visible how the hair of my hand growed, together with lines, in a matter of hours. I couldn't stay here for long... Neither i'm able too. Every time I wake up, I feel how my legs are numbed like if I sleep for years, being steady in the same position... Something really doesn't want me to stay in this world...
I'm writing this... I don't know if it really matters because i'm not even sure if other survived like me, but... I don't want to end up like the other corpses. I don't want to resign to oblivion, I don't want to keep living inside caves on every night, having to stay right in the entrance being aware of what's outside waiting for me to go out, and afraid of sleep for what is lurking on the deeps of the dark, and I don't want to die feeling the weight of guilt that maybe right now my daughter is erasing my name from her memory, and same with any memory that she has with us together.
I think I will try to go out and test my luck... I'm not sure how long I would be able to carry on...
And so, I close my notebook and prepared myself for another day to survive the challenges of the journey that await me outside
