PCU - BRATWURST CABBAGE ROLL NAZI FREE FUCK VAGINA

by Darthvadershodensack

Rating: mature
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Princess Luna, Fluttershy, Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1557

Gore and Cocks. Some funny shit :D

Rainbow Dash is horny and needs a book about masturbation. Because of an accident all of Equestria is full of mutated dragons. Will Celestia be able to stop them?

"The rhythmic movement of the plot and the supreme characterizations were so supreme and godly that it made me grow another cock to furiously masturbate with while reading this. But after reading this, the purity of this fiction made me resist entirely on physical pleasure and only the writing on this god-like MASTERPIECE." - Pre-reader.

"Germans, fucking Germans." - Pre-reader.

"I CAME." - Princess Molestia.

Published 2012-04-09 14:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-09 14:44:02 UTC

the whole story

One day in the Land of Equestria..

Rainbow Dash was desperate. She was horny, and nopony was there to please her needs. Therefore she searched for her friend Twilight in the libary. She needed a book about masturbation. Suddenly Spike appeared.

"Oh Rainbow Dash" he said, "what big ears you have".

"The better to hear you with" was the reply.

"But, Rainbow Dash, what big eyes you have".

"The better to see you with, my dear".

"And why is there straw on the floor?"

"Why do you wear a mask?"

"Well... Let's have sex!" (Porn Logic FTW)

Spike wanted to undress, but he was already naked. They fucked all night long. Rainbow Dash can do it, she can do it all night.
She puts her body right into it and she can do it alright. Spike punched his big dragon cock in Rainbow Dash's ass and shoved his spiky tail through Rainbow Dash's throat, creating the greatest orgasm he ever had.

9 months later...

Rainbow Dash had bad news. A dragon with wings was born, or a pony with scales and two crippled penises. Spike was speachless. It was his son.

Rainbow Dash said: "Show me what you got!", so he fucked him hard in the ass. It wasn't his son or his daughter. Twilight disliked that and forced spike to fuck her hard. The mutant baby flew through Ponyville and fucked everything that moved.

Nine months later...

When Fluttershy came, the others had already come. Afterwards the baby died in anguish but satisfied. Equestria was full of haters. Eight years later there were dragon mutants everywhere having a continous orgy. Especially with each other, which caused more crippled incest births. They had 12 penises and 3 vaginas in their faces. Instead of gentials they had tentacle monsters. But thats was totally ok. Everyone who wasn't able to fuck, where injected into various pleasure holes with their whole body.

Their queen was Fluttershy, who cared loving for their genitals. Fluttershy was so worn out that she could take 150 penises at once. In her nose.

Four years after the incident Equestria was full of mutant cripple dragons. They fucked everypony to death.

The only solution was to fuck them all. Celestia had to do something: To fuck them.

And so, the great fucker Dohvakiin, who had 3 personalities, came. After he was cheated on by Luna, he became someone else. He became the mutant cripple dragon fucker.

With one FUCK ROH DAH he satisfied all dragons. They had a so intense orgasm that they died. Dohvakiin ate her organs, drank their blood and fucked their corpses.

Suddenly Son Goku and Vegeta came into the world and Darth Vader the 4th tried to stop them while he jumped on them and screamed "DEMACIA". But they where to powerful. They used their chaos Emeralds.. eh the power of the super Saiyahjins and they became super Gogeta, who nearly killed Darth Vader the 4th. But Darth Vader had a plan. The robot penis of death! He defeated both and the story continued.

~Commercial break~
Snuggles want to smell your underwear so give him all your money! *evil laugh*
~Back to the weird clopfic~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dohvakiin was chosen as the saviour of Equestria. And the necrophiliac of the year 2012. Celestia was so happy, that she fucked him. She sticked her horn in his nose.

She fucked him so hard, like he was never fucked before. But he didn't survived this fuck. Although it was very pleasuring.
He exploded and a dark sex void appeared. It sucked everything. Particularly penises.

Celestia thought: *hehe* "sucked" and died.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suddenly Applejack came out of her barn and tought: "Mh, I could really use a coconut now!" and levitated in the jordan. Where she divided orange juice.

Like morning dew the blood of the dead bodies layed on the scenery and the rising sun tainted the country in a dark red. The last survivor Pinkie Pie stood lonely on a hill near the destroyed city and looked in the distance.

One last thought bothered her... so she fucked and died.

The Final Chance/Epilogue

EPILOGUE

"One last thought bothered her... so she fucked and died." The clacking of the keyboard finally stopped as the last sentence of the 'story' was written.

Over the past few minutes, many people were creating the greatest story ever told, and now after the backbreaking labor of typing, it was done. The only thing that could be done now was to read the story with pure awe and determination.

Every writer, German and American, began to scrutinize the story, searching for every flaw and every misconception. After this, a long simultaneous 'whew' was said as everypony's eyes were wide open. Silence was bliss.

One by one, slowly but loudly, they all spoke in perfect harmony.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WRITE?"

~~~~~~~~

The next few minutes can only recognized as pure yelling and screaming at each other. One by one, people began to give up on the story.

"Wait, let's just try one more time," A young German brony named Flo stated.

Everyone shrugged but reluctantly agreed, hoping that the the next story they write is somewhat ok.

"Let's begin shall we?"

'One day in the land of Ponyville, the peaceful town was sleeping in harmonic slumber. Everypony was dreaming; some good dreams and others nightmares. It was all peaceful in Ponyville, as they were all in slumber, except for one little Unicorn.

Twilight Sparkle couldn't sleep. Every time when she laid on her back and closed her eyes, nothing happened. Because of that, she was looking at the wall of the library, wishing that she can go to sleep. Slowly and slowly her eyed obeyed to her wishes and began to close.

Then, out of FUCKING NOWHERE, Rainbow Dash dives through the tree window, smashing it into shards and pieces. Twilight was flabbergasted at her friend's random coming. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT and went to sleep. 'Lucky Bitch', Twilight thought, picking up her friends unconscious body which seemed to have to injuries on her. She plopped her on the bed and waited silently for her 'guest' to wake up. It wasn't long until Rainbow Dash finally opened her eyes.

“RAINBOW DASH,” Twilight yelled at her friend who was now regaining consciousness, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?”

Rainbow Dash, still in a daze, looked back at Twilight. “Wait. What..?” She replied back, putting a hoof onto her head. Twilight was now enraged with anger due to her friend's ignorance at what the FUCK she just did to her house. Not ever Magic can fix the shattered remains of the window. Money was to spent to pay for that window, and it won't be cheap.

After a few moments of awkward as shit silence, Twilight broke the silence, her voice now more calm than before. “Rainbow Dash?,” She asked her friend who was now beginning to regain her balance as she stood up on all fours.

“What?”

“Can you tell me why the FUCK you would COME OVER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT WHEN EVERYPONY’S SLEEPING?...”

Rainbow Dash was about to answer but Twilight stopped her in her tracks, “ALSO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU GO THROUGH THE WINDOW? IT. WAS. UNLOCKED. YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO MAKE A SCENE BY BREAKING MY SHIT!” Twilight was now beginning to turn bat-shit crazy until Rainbow Dash finally replied.

“I came here because I wanted to give you a present, but I forgot to give you it before. I just remembered so I had to come here and give it to you!” Twilight was now finally calming down, turning her excess rage into delightful glee.

“Oh boy! What is it?” She asked excitedly to Dash. After a few happy moments and awkward apologies Rainbow lifted a gift to Twilight. It was crudely packaged, as if it was wrapped and bought in a hurry, but she didn’t care. It was a gift from one of her best friends, so there was nothing to be angry about!

She was ripping off the wrapper from her present until she finally grasped onto the now opened gift with her hooves. She picked it up, now stareing in blind confusion of the present her friend bought her. It was a book, titled Window-Cleaners book for Eggheads by Wip E. Alliday.

Twilight looked back to her friend, who was now grinning happily at her demise. "You mad, Twi?" She said back to her, giving a grin of accomplishment. Twilight, on the other hand, couldn't associate what the fuck just happened. Twilight couldn’t bear no more of this embarrassment from her trolling friend.

TWILIGHT SHOVED HER HORN INTO DASH’S THROAT, SLICED HER BODY CLEAN INTO SHREDS WITH BOTH HER MAGIC AND HORN, AND USED THE WINDOW CLEANER BOOK RAINBOW DASH GAVE TO HER TO WIPE OFF RAINBOW DASH’S BLOOD FROM THE FLOOR AND HER BODY. AFTER THIS INCIDENT, TWILIGHT HAD THE GREATEST SLEEP SHE COULD HAVE EVER HAD IN THE HISTORY OF ALL EQUESTRIA...'

Everyone now looked at the new story they wrote in great tiredness.

"Let's just go to fucking sleep." Flo said, defeated. And so everyone agreed to this, not knowing when will be the time when they shall write again.

THE END.