Solstice

Dear Princess Celestia, my mentor and teacher, this is a letter that you will never read.

By the time you might have read this, assuming you found it hidden in a rune carved into my desk, I'm sure you would have forgotten all about me. There is no way that you would’ve have found this letter. You have your duties distracting you from hurrying to seek the reason behind my disappearance and I imagine you already knew something was off. After all, though it must of been strange of me to have left the school's dorms, packed and ready but oh so quiet.

I never told you of my plans of leaving but I never really told you anything, did I?

Had you remembered me and came to my room, the rune would be there on the desk but unactivated, empty. How would it stand out with all of the little things I've engraved into the desk? How would you know that this rune was different from all of the math problems, symbols and marks on the wood? You wouldn't. Even if the rune caught your attention, there was nothing to receive.

The letter was not written then. I have not sent it until now.

Princess, what do you think of me? A coward? A fool?

Don't smile like you always do.

Don't patronize me like you always do.

Don't watch in silence and make that little, pained smile like you always do.

Why did I leave the school? Why not, is my worthless rebuttal. Why not... The things that you could have said to me to stay are the same excuses I told myself when I was still there.

I left so I could keep my dignity. I left so I could keep my pride.

That doesn't make sense, I know but that's all I have. Pride and dignity was all I came with when I arrived at this school. It's only fair that I be allowed to take them with me. I've run off with them mostly because I couldn't take my dorm room with me.

These things I've left behind: My desk that was the first thing I bought with my own money. My trunk full of books that I've received from dear teachers over the years. My bookshelves lined with textbooks, papers and projects and of course, the most dearest thing of all, You.

I swore to myself that I would come back, eventually. I would return to reclaim everything with a greater and singular will than what I had before. Princess, you might have now made that pained smile and thoughts of my fellow student, Twinkle Spark, who is under your teachings as well, has filled your head.

Perhaps, you think of me as childish in my leaving. That I snapped under the pressure and this is my spiteful way of lashing out. I hurt my attendance, my grades, my teachers' faith in me, my scholarship and of course, you who picked me amongst all others more favorable.

But I have not snapped. Instead, I've left and I wonder what did you think of me while we were together as student and mentor. What on earth did you pick me for? I do not have the magical capabilities of Twinkle, the finesse of manipulation of Moon Dancer, the originality of spells of Lantern.

I am decent which fine and dandy but surrounded by those ponies, enhanced by your light and attention, I have become mediocre. Or maybe, I've always been mediocre.

I want to blame you but I can't.

I want to blame them but I can't.

I can only blame myself and so I've left.

This is the first of many letters and I'll write you of my days spent roaming the land. But really, this is the last report that you will receive from me as I've written this letter last. Despite what I've written in the others, what I say here is final.

Princess, I once thought it important to return to your school and prove myself to everyone and to you. For me to be such a sham of a student, I wondered how it made you look. I felt so guilty and ashamed but I could never talk to you about it. I imagined that you already knew and in your silence, your inaction that I was to learn another lesson.

I know better now. You didn't know and my silence must have made me inapproachable. Our relationship could have been better but I was young and you... were also silent. And this letter that you will never read, I want to proudly tell you that I am on way to Canterlot. I have come to collect my things and meet with you.

Eventually has come and yesterday has been slain.

Sincerely,

A Wayword Mage, Sunset Shimmer